Sometimes there are weak people who make mistakes or want to try something new. it's burden worth bearing. What you miss is that there are people worth forgiving and people who shouldn't be forgiven. The mistakes of someone who has decided for themselves that they want to be a better person is a burden that is as light as a pumice stone on water. Someone who exploits forgiveness by not having any genuine interest in improving sinks like lead and drags everyone down with them. They might say they want to do better but never will put in the effort to do so. It's an abomination.

You're right. People who have been hurt often go on to hurting other people. It takes a very special person to break generational cycles of hurt

Their own mindset is their own punishment holy fuxk what a good quote

I believe free will does not exist ( I think it is an incoherent concept) and that means there is no rational ground for holding on to hate, it is understandable psychologically why we react in that way sometimes. people just happen to be who they are and accepting that is deeply freeing. Of cource we can try to change eachother and reason with eachother, but at the end of the day things just are how they are.

I started being addicted your videos, they really contain a valuable experience and lessons, it's gold, i'm looking forward for more videos, it would be nice if you makr a video about break up... Anyway take it easy om yourself your not looking fine

I used to nurture hate against people that slipped from my life, and until I had realized that carrying all that weight was what made me so tired of everything in my day life just sucked. You are really spot on neutrality, you do not need to hold a grudge as much you don't need to accept it. Sometimes the best way foward is not to go back, hope you all a great day or evening! Take good care.

Normal is different for everyone you seem like open minded intelligent person glad i found you're channel

Let go. Focus the energy on your own life, and future. Put your all into what you want instead of wasting it on people who probably aren't worth wasting time on.

Im so overjoyed to hear my favourite vagabond quote in one of your videos. Forgiveness is an act of love and freedom. Forgiving someone means you give more value to their condition as a person than to their act. It also frees you from the negative influence from that act. Also a very important thing is being able to forgive ourselves. A mistake is something that we can learn about if we embrace change and compassion.

Energetically, holding a grudge or hate for someone is quite heavy. So I release that, forgive them, and ask the Lord to forgive them, myself, and watch over them.

I was faced with many situations growing up that prompted me to see things in different perspective. My parents used to fight almost all the time and it made the household environment dreadful. The main instigator was my father who is a very strict, insulting, and sort of manipulative. The way he raised me as a boy is simple: you either follow what I told you, or you leave the household. There is absolutely no room for discussion as he takes different opinions or different ways to do things as an insult and rebellion to his role as the sole provider of the family, the one that makes "everything" sustainable. On the other hand, there's my mother who is literally the polar opposite of that. She is a caring, liberal and tolerant towards opinions different than hers, and uplifting in speech. The way she raised me is by telling me that I can chase whatever my dreams are so long as I am willing to work for it. But of course, the best she can do is to tell me, as there is my father wouldn't let me. What caused their frequent fights is as if she is the "rebellion" who push back against my fathers "tyranny". At the end, tyranny always won because knowing my father's intolerable behavior, rebellion is only a force of separation, and if she were to win, the household would crumble and divorce would be the most probable option for them. I know my mother doesn't want me to be a child victim of divorce, so she always quiet down and whispered to me to just be patient with my father. This entire thing spawns numerous personal issues within me and for the longest of time is making the world felt confusing and chaotic, and understandably as humans, we don't want the unknown of confusion and chaos, so I had to adapt and find a way to mentally survive; I became a person who is submissive by action, rebellious by thought. I was a massive people pleaser. Not only that I submitted my own happiness at the expense of someone else's, I was angry and furious inside for not having the strength to fight for my own, having known that as the best for me. ----- You know Leilani, I found your channel through your 'Communicate.' video. You said you used to be a huge people pleaser, and how you made the decision that communication is the way to go as pleasing others all the time only brings pain to us. That video really resonated with me to the core, and made me feel like I have someone I shared pain with. One of many instances that made me understand that I am not alone in this struggling. Talking about communication... + understanding, which is today's video topic... ----- Growing up in that kind of household also led me to become someone who values and find peace in stability and control over everything else, and what I meant by control is me having control, not being controlled; hence the freedom to do whatever I want that wouldn't lead to chaos. In effort to achieve what brings me my peace, I realized that most things are beyond my control, so I looked at the closest thing I have control over, which is my own mind. Being in my head most of the times made me an observant and overthinking person who plans my life to make sure that whatever path I'm going towards is going to be a stable one. So in search of the solution to the chaos of my household, I had to analyze all the parties involved which is my parents. Overtime, I came to understand the internal reason on why their fights happen in the first place by putting myself on their shoes. My father grew up poor in a household led by his father who is a soldier. You know how soldiers typically raise their children militaristicly, and so that is how he was raised. Both of his parents died when he was a child, so I suppose it made him never experience the general parental love. He has to migrate with his uncle to somewhere far only to be abandoned for a reason he never understood. He eventually found his elder sister's contact so he moved in to her household and found opportunity to fix his life through education. He studied hard and grinded the corporate job throughout his 20s til 50s, and got ahold of executive position that earns money beyond what I think is ever even possible for me. To be frank, it's true that he is the only sole provider, the one that makes everything sustainable. My mother grew up in a wealthy household led by my late grandfather who loves to spoil his money to his children and everyone around him. He adopted children and helps them with their education fees and he helped fund the neighbourhood facilities. He often went to the U.S for job matters and he never forget to brought in gifts like video games and legos to my mother. But despite that, my grandfather is too paranoid and doesnt want my mother to have to work to be able to enjoy life. My mother wanted to become an air hostess so she can go to Paris, but my grandfather forbids her as he's afraid she'd fall and die. My mother wanted to become news anchor/reporter, but he told her that it's dangerous as she'll have to work til night. The point is, my grandfather is over-protective of her, he just won't give her the opportunity to reach her dreams. In the end, because of bad business decisions and spoiled lifestyle, my grandfather lost most of his wealth and at this point in time, there is no more. She didn't have any job because of my grandfather's restrictiveness, so she has to stay with my father. My mother lived lavishly and she wants me to experience the same thing she did, so that's what she did to achieve that. ----- With that in mind, I understood why they behave the way they did. I understand my father's restrictiveness, as he doesn't want me to experience the chaos of his childhood, so he only did what he thinks is best for me to find my peace the way he found his. I also understand my mother's enabling behavior, as she finds her hell through restriction. But the central point of everything is that the majority of their fights are because of their wish to have the best for me. They tried to impose what they know best and try to apply it to me, because they want me to not suffer what they suffered. One thing they failed to do is that after every time they fight, they just don't talk to each other and the next day they just acts normal, pretending as if there are no problems between them. Their inability to just sit down and communicate instead of screaming and insulting each other is the exact reason why up until today they still fights the same battle, just nowadays that I'm in my 20s they have toned down as I became more and more independent from them. This entire thing is only the first out of three major series of events that made the foundation of who I am as a person today. After watching your first video until this one, I figured that I'm sure you are the same observant and overthinking person who likes to plan ahead in time to make sure that everything is going well. I think you're the kind of person who is willing to understand the way reality/universe and the human mind works. Most of the things you've said in your videos are the thoughts that I have pondered myself one way or another. I'm just interested to know that perhaps there are moments of catalyst in your childhood that made you the kind of person you are. So there's a potential idea that you can make a video out of, but of course that's up to you as I think your style is more of littering tiny bits of your life alongside the values you're talking about. ----- Whew, that's a really long post, but venting out what's in your mind and sharing it to others is always healthy I think, as that's what humanity has been doing since forever. And doing it with the right people is also important, as most people just for some reason don't try to understand why someone is the way they are. They just judge without trying to put themselves on someone else's shoe. Anyhow, that's all that I can tell before my comment gets too long, which it already is. Take care Leilani and have a wonderful life moving forward 🙏

YOU'RE GROWING LETS GO!!!!!

people are finally realizing what it actually takes to live a good life, I myself was tricked by my own ignorance, and remember not to blame people unless you want to think less of yourself, and good luck

I love how this channel is booming!

Captions are a great touch

lol I was the person who commented on it a week ago. Your advice/mindset that you explained in your reply has already helped a ton. Sometimes it is just best to let go of it all and understand that you're a better person because of what happpened.

You and three finger drag and profound pondering are my fav creators/vlogers idk what to call it but like thx a lot for existing

To really want the best for somebody else, you have to be not one step ahead, but at least two, so you can take into account the change that takes places during their lifetime, not just what you experienced.

The main reason you forgive someone is because it takes a huge burden off your shoulders. Something that isn't worth carrying around with you. So you forgive to redeem yourself.

Random video recommended by the tube. Just what one needed to hear.

Forgiveness is a very hard thing to master because it's often hinged on emotional subjects. As a Native American I had to forgive my parents, who had to forgive the people who mistreated them growing up, and so on and so on. I wrote a poem about it, if you're interested: Wax of mood, reason's wane, is our fabric not the same? What sad song; what refrain, was not then; is not again?

Unless there's a genuine reason to not forgive in the sense that you use said issue to fuel your future motivations of self pursuit or to tackle the issue that continues compounding, then yes it's better to just observe it, learn from it and move forward, whilst being mindful that the person may not be aware of their actions due to their issues/limitations.

thanks !!

Hey I watch you almost everyday love what you’re doing btw feels like you’re doing exactly what I’ve been doing in my mind for so long but I think you’re super cool keep it up fr 🏘️👩‍🏫

What fucking chad uploads videos about complex subjects for 2 weeks straight

oh lil homie knows vagabond, huh? Yeah right? You think we dont know the feds are closing in? Anyways I wish i'd realized this sooner before i'd let the sadness anger and depression consume me in my early twenties, that forgiveness ultimately cures you of the "status ailments" or "debuffs" or trauma. a part of me thinks that i had to figure it out and develop into who i am now, then the other wishes i'd have let it go. Would i still be the same person? Couldnt i have turned out worse had i 'forgiven' to such a degree as to let everything continue, and become my father's little obedient slave, wrapping even more people into a failing family dynamic? Either way you should feel proud of yourself for this deep realization of the nature of forgiveness at such a young age instead of becoming cool and edgy and getting into designer drugs at milady raves.

Honestly I found forgiveness to be more healing for me than the person sometimes. Around a year ago I was in a messy relationship with someone and we didn't know what we were doing. It was hard for me to know how to feel about the whole thing as there were alot of things she did that hurt me as well as things I did that hurt her. Our relationship has been torn ever since and It's still a challenge to think about that experience but learning to forgive her in my heart even when she didn't apologize for her behavior has been something that has helped me move on alot.

this is def something ive had to think about in the past year with the loss of my dad, its been a rollercoaster of emotions lol. sometimes its hard to understand that most people arent inherently "bad" people but have a choice in what path to take, unfortunately my dad kinda went down the indulgence of his ego and addictions, etc. it really makes me wonder what caused the mental patterns in his childhood, early adulthood, etc. that made him who he ultimately embodied ya know?

Actually made my day better was sad from no upload

There is who we were because of what we knew. Then there’s how our actions effect the world in an objective sense that we can learn in an objective sense by speaking as a collective. Hurt is hurt, stop means stop and I’m sorry only means something when it translates to diffrent actions. Lines can be blurred but when it comes to interpersonal connection it always comes back to the same thing. Open communication, an honest desire to be our best and consistency. Those are the keys to being happy when we’re around others. It can be hard to love ourselves when we’ve been taught somone else can’t love us regardless of the reason. But we don’t need anything other than a path to move forward and self acceptance to live a fulfilling life. “Every tool to self fulfillment lives within you.” no matter who reads I belive that’s true. The hard part is belief. But I belive in you! Who ever is reading this random nonsense of mine lol

i forgive you

Congrats on uploading your first video on a reasonable hour! Usually when you upload these, it's like 3AM in my contry, now you uploaded one at like 11PM, that's progress!! 🥳🥳 About the rest of the video, since you recommended one or two songs that related to your topic, i keep doing that on my mind, today's song may be "BAGGAGE" from Rare Americans. About my input.. Yeah, i've been there about no time ago, and whenever i felt like i had these "inner discussions" with this fake, automatically made person that was trying to mirror who i despised by then, and i'd just say to myself "¿What's the point, though?", it's not like it would help me in anything, or it had any use, it was something that i did because of a reflex, because maybe i had something to tell that person that i used to love so damn much, or because i wanted to finally say to their face how horrible was what they done to me, because i knew they wen't fully concious about it, and i wanted a lot to help them... But i wasn't able to keep sacrificing my own mental health to help someone like that, i just couln't keep getting into that toxic friendship. So i just said "yeah, whatever" when i felt like internally i was saying something to them, ir they were saying something to me. In the end, they were thoughts, my mind was just doing that because i needed to say some things, and i resolved it by ignoring these thoughts, and talking about this with other loved ones. If i say it now, just like this, sounds incredibly easy, but lord it isn't. Just keep going, work on yourself and don't let those thoughts get to you. That's the best i can say about this.

I like the chain of logic you follow, but it seems like some people could consider anger and hate as bad things; if you are in harmony with those "negative emotions", you can exist comfortably, while keeping the people who deserve some punishment in a "special place", not in your mind, but trapped in your jaws. As a 41 year old guy (about to be 42 near the end of this month), I can tell you that one can be amazed, at how life presents us with the opportunities to get even with those people, and stop them for good (I'll leave that to everyone's interpretation), so that they are unnable to wrong us or others. I think social 3ngin33ring is to blame. It is important to hate and love, you don't need to get rid of those emotions, you just need to channel things in a constructive or destructive way, as needed. I see too much angst from people, that have no idea what to do with their love and their hate, or how to use them in the best way possible. That is the most important point. How will you use your love? How will you use your hate? Love and hate are actually two sides of the same coin, and that coin is pretty valuable to me; I wouldn't have life any other way. As a side note, I would recommend reading or watching Goblin Slayer; now that is a good fictional representation, of how to take advantage of your hate, to the point that even others benefit from it.

do you think you should forgive someone to their face, or just forgive them in your mind and just move on? personally I think forgiving someone who is toxic to their face just brings them back into your life and from my own personal experience they just continue to be toxic.

😍😍😍😍😍

Debes cuidar mucho tu pelo, lo tienes precioso

In my scenario I’ve taken the red pill, I can never forgive my parents for they pushed me into the stereotyped position of constant suffering which I will endure for the rest of my life. A whole entire relationship based on a fettish between a white man and an asian woman; anybody with common sense would know that this isn’t stable. So yes my mother went crazy and abused my dad because she wanted power and money - which is a common thing to do for asian mothers in the west. And yes, my father put all of this racist hatred in my head towards others because that’s how HE was raised. But I wasn’t aware of the fact that I was asian. Even in childhood he’d shout racist slurs at me. How do you think I should forgive somebody knowing that I can hear words I can actually understand now? Like mutt or half breed? You can’t. Because my parents did this to me. And all I have besides from hating my parents is hating myself.

character close to comprehension dismisal. not that you need to care.

damn i got a crush on u

How do you pronounce your name? Is it LIE-lahnee or lay-LAHNAY?

that's random but you really looks like Weyes Blood 🤍

.

What happened to your lip?

I like your quote about being "always changing, always moving forward", it reminds me of 1001 Nights "The truth lies not in one dream, but in many" and sometimes the same can go for nightmares😥 but I try to always stay optimistic and wish the same for others💔❤‍🩹❤❤❤❤

@junnipres I appreciate your good wisdom your cute 🙂😊 if you ever want to email let me know