Foster parenting moments with bio parents

Foster parenting moments with bio parents - Answering your questions

Рет қаралды 9,002

Күн бұрын

In this video, I answer these questions! :)
- I drop off at visits and don't see the parents - is there something else I should be doing?
- I send a journal to the visits and their mom doesn't write back. Should I keep sending it?
- Each time I interact with their dad, there seems to be a concern. I don't know how to get the relationship back to neutral or positive.
- Hear from the parents all of the time. I struggle to get back to them and manage everything with the kids.
- The parents bring gifts to the visits but I don't have room to store everything. What should I do?
Looking for more? I offer 1:1 DM support (plus checklists and templates) on Patreon for as little as $1. / fosterparenting
Find Me on Social Media:
Instagram: / foster.parenting
Tiktok: / fosterparenting
Facebook: / foster.parent.partner
#fostercare #fosterparenting #fosterparent

Пікірлер: 47

@Tegdirb64 23 күн бұрын

When my grandson was in foster care the first time and we were preparing to offer kinship care, we were at a training event that included trainee social workers. One thing that we shared as family members was about clothes we'd bought for him. It's a simple thing, but to send a child to visits wearing clothes bought by family, makes a massive difference. The family feel included in their child's life, even if it's only a short time. All the trainees, sw and fc, wrote this down!

@KayoEll 23 күн бұрын

Re: the journal-- it is also possible that the parent has low literacy!

@ettinakitten5047 23 күн бұрын

Yeah, I was thinking of that. Or they might be quite literate, but not in English. It might be worth asking around if there is another language spoken at home, and if you know that language, writing your notes in that language instead of English.

@foster.parenting 23 күн бұрын

Yes! Thanks for adding that in!

@pawz3016 23 күн бұрын

Or dyslexia. I'm dyslexic and there's a lot of handwriting I can't read, and my own handwriting doesn't look good. I probably wouldn't say anything in that situation because I wouldn't want to be judged, especially when the stakes are as high as whether I get my children back or not.

@FrenkTheJoy 23 күн бұрын

That was my first thought - the literacy rate is surprisingly not super high in the US (for native English speakers who would be reading English)!

@builtontherockhomestead9390 23 күн бұрын

Depending on location, parents might not even know English.

@Mimi_239 20 күн бұрын

Hi Laura… I don’t see a way to email you but just wanted you to know… I binge watch your videos from time to time because I was raised in a foster care situation that was highly abusive. Part of my therapy journey is learning self compassion… how to provide myself the care and inner dialogue parallel to the care I should have got as a child and internalized. It helps me to have a reparative inner experience to hear how you model interacting with the children coming into your care. I am over 35… and am reparenting myself via your videos and it is so effective and helpful! Thank you greatly for sharing as you do!!!

@NovasYouTubeName 15 күн бұрын

hugs❤

@edie1707 23 күн бұрын

laura thank you for what you do and sharing these lessons. you reach more people than you know. not only are you helping these families and children, you’re showing others how to navigate all kinds of situations with maturity, compassion, and grace. ❤

@christinafidance340 21 күн бұрын

I also think it’s just not a good time for the parent to respond DURING their visit which might only be an hour or 2 long! That’s time to be spending with their child. Wouldn’t it be better if they were given a couple days to respond to the journal? Or even to do it over email instead?

@FrenkTheJoy 23 күн бұрын

I feel like even if the parent isn't reading the journal, it's nice to have a record of the child's life anyway.

@lupinedew 9 күн бұрын

I LOVE your channel. Thank you so much!

@lnballard01 23 күн бұрын

I love this! Great information and solutions to things.

@foster.parenting 23 күн бұрын

ty for watching!

@Gameplay-77 23 күн бұрын

Thank you for this video.

@stephmatswife 20 күн бұрын

Our journal was taken when they finally came to the first visit. I realized they would rather read them at home. I started writing on a half sheet of paper an update for the week. I print a few pictures here and there. I make a copy or take a picture of the update for my records. The parents have only been able to come to two visits. They got the first six month update in the journal and the second 6 month update at the second visit. I write updates every week even though the visits get cancelled. I have the next six months here waiting for them. I hope they come to one of the court dates so I can give these to them. I have had a parents in the past file false CPS claims against our family. How do you handle that?

@mapleoak11 2 күн бұрын

Some of your advice is very state specific. I've never heard of a visit journal. We don't do that here. New England foster parent here.

@patriciaviczmandy649 23 күн бұрын

Hi thanks for the wonderfull videos😊

@foster.parenting 22 күн бұрын

Ty for watching!

@anthropomorphicpeanut6160 23 күн бұрын

❤

@AlexusLeeannn 22 минут бұрын

I use a communication book

@fionawood2473 3 күн бұрын

Also be aware that the parents may not be able to read or write due to there education background.

@rubynelson1164 21 күн бұрын

What happens when the bio parents ask for money or financial assistance of some sort of transportation?

@kickdropacoin 19 күн бұрын

you aren't supposed to be doing that. The child is your responsibility, not their parent.

@rubynelson1164 19 күн бұрын

@@kickdropacoin I know. But I also know that people in crisis do things they are not supposed to

@kickdropacoin 19 күн бұрын

@@rubynelson1164 for sure, but be very careful around what you're able to give and what the boundaries are from youth protection.

@Litigator-4-life 19 күн бұрын

@@rubynelson1164 This is the obligation of the case manager. The parents have a case plan that often includes sufficient lawful income. I had a Guardian ad Litem buying groceries only to learn that case management was duplicating his effort, so you need to communicate exactly what you are doing to your licensing agency and case management.

@NovasYouTubeName 15 күн бұрын

I think if the parent asked for money I would politely say that’s not something I can do, and then inform the worker so they know the parent is struggling.

@Elly12355 20 күн бұрын

What should i do when i find my foster child self harming

@NovasYouTubeName 15 күн бұрын

Physical pain can often release mental pain. When you’re in so much pain mentally and you don’t have a physical reason why, when there is physical pain too the brain isn’t in such dissonance. Be gentle and give comfort if they allow it. ***And Get them into cognitive behaviour therapy ASAP. It saved my life.

@mapleoak11 2 күн бұрын

Tell the caseworker. And strongly advocate for the child to have a therapist. Do not punish or act horrified. Be calm and let the child know you are there for them and want to help them feel better.

@user-bearlyawake 23 күн бұрын

Have you ever fostered children that don't support LGBTQ+? If so, what was it like?

@JuniperLynn789 23 күн бұрын

In my opinion, I don’t think that we as adults should expect children to “support” anything. Especially children that need foster care. They are children, we are the adults, we are there to support *them*.

@Luke-zv6bb 23 күн бұрын

@@JuniperLynn789Yass juniper

@foster.parenting 23 күн бұрын

Personally, no, but I have a ton of content and resources in my LGBTQ+ highlight on Instagram! instagram.com/foster.parenting

@Athen239 23 күн бұрын

It's more important to support the individual child. Empower the child that way. Help them get access to things that they are good at or inspire them. I know that sounds like a roundabout answer, but people who are empowered in an authentic way interact with people of all kinds much better as well.

@PredictableEnigma 23 күн бұрын

I imagine this would only be a problem if a different foster youth or family member in that same home was LGBTQ+ and was being treated poorly by the one that does not support those things. Then I assume there'd be either an attempt to educate or an attempt to relocate the child to a different foster home that's a better fit if that option is avalible.