Full of Regret for Screwing Up Your Relationship? Watch This. (Matthew Hussey)

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4 жыл бұрын

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Ever sat ruminating obsessively over something you could have or should have done differently in your relationship?
Something you said, something you did, or something you wish you’d have done more?
It’s a dreadful, sickening feeling. I know because I’ve felt it. It leads to regret, anxiety, self-loathing… not to mention a lack of appetite and insomnia. We turn over every memory, imagining where we could have been with that person had we just behaved differently.
And this feeling isn’t limited to situations that have ended. Sometimes we are still seeing someone but we have this crippling anxiety over having irreversibly damaged the relationship. We feel we’ve created a perception of ourselves in that person’s eyes that we can’t now undo.
If for any of these reasons you are currently torturing yourself, this video will be life-saving for you today. Trust me when I say it is essential watching.
In this video, I break down for you why you don’t need to be wallowing in pain, and why, despite everything that destructive voice inside is saying, you actually have reason to feel good today.
Please also share this with someone you know who may be beating herself up right now. Life’s too short for any of us to suffer needlessly.
I’m with you, friend. You’re loved.
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Пікірлер: 3 500

@clara_1212 4 жыл бұрын

The ‘regretting how you behaved in a situation’ really hit hart, it made me tear up. Time to stop blaming ourselves, thank you Matthew.

@Flowmotion-Parkour 3 жыл бұрын

Oh yeah, I am overthinking situations almost a year and regretting. Almost to a level like "if I ate bread instead of cornflakes on that day, maybe I behaved different and the breakup never happened. On the other side I didnt know that these small actions lead to that consequence :(

@n1ghtscxr 2 жыл бұрын

@@Flowmotion-Parkour same, i feel that exact way

@marioalvidrez6258 2 жыл бұрын

When I heard him talk about maybe that was the best we could of done at that point in time and our best fell short that made me burst in tears bc I always do that and blame myself in fact I did so last night ans couldn’t sleep when I got broken up with. I was upset at my gf telling me she’d rather see me 2 days after I got home this week after being a month away trucking when just a couple hours ago she was telling me how much she wanted to see me. I blamed myself and kept making all kinds of scenarios that would of kept her from breaking up with me and fixing my tone of voice.

@mathematicalninja2756 2 жыл бұрын

@@n1ghtscxr i have a similar incident

@jackdeniston59 2 жыл бұрын

All chicks ever do is avoid 'feeling' the the blame. Actually become a better person, actually treat men like human beings. Do that ffs and you wont have to worry about 'feeling bad'

@shreenjandutta7152 Жыл бұрын

When your intentions are pure, you don't lose people People lose you ❤️

@cincinnatifunk Жыл бұрын

this deserves more attention. well put

@xylo795 Жыл бұрын

Thank you I didn't mean to hurt them I loved them I just wanted them to be nice to me

@mayrawalters8876 Жыл бұрын

Thank you

@chihienbui4635 11 ай бұрын

Thanks❤

@notting2640 9 ай бұрын

Crazy how women are worshipping quotes like these that absolve all forms of accountability from them 😂

@dudleylandsberg1747 2 жыл бұрын

I don't want a new relationship. I want to fix myself and be the best true version of myself to give the woman I love everything she deserves

@artinbahadori 4 ай бұрын

me two

@LucyLucyLucy-rk2vv 3 ай бұрын

How's it going now? Do you still want that old relationship?

@oablom 3 ай бұрын

Me two. I fucked it up

@jewelmoore6402 2 ай бұрын

me too, its the worst pain. I'm scared that there is something deeply wrong with me, and I want to change that.

@Frozen2ful 2 ай бұрын

Me to. She genuinely loved me but I was neglecting her and taking her for granted, resulting her breaking up. I dont know why i didnt get those feelings for her but now i feel terrible and only want her. She told me she have moved on and dont want to hear about my feelings..

@harrycrowe7873 Жыл бұрын

I think when we meet someone we seem to get along with so well, when there's so much chemistry, we can get so comfortable talking to them that we can tend to open up and reveal far too much of ourselves too quickly and forget how closely the other person is analyzing and testing us. That's where I screwed up. But still, the right relationship shouldn't be that brittle with no second chances.

@tommyy8297 Жыл бұрын

Me too bro, I over shared a lot and tried to hide my past because I didn’t want to lose her. I did things I never would do (lie, be insecure) and she tried but I was too much for her. never felt this way before

@Ssn5881 Жыл бұрын

@@tommyy8297 mine officially broke up yesterday. I know the time we were together we loved each other. But we did not understand each other cuz it's long distance. We both give love to each other. But I feel remorse for asking too much from him. We don't cheat or hide secret from each other and always told the truth. He doesn't want to receive my love anymore even tho I kept expressing the truth. He was a good guy for me and I always tried my best to match him. But he feels it's not enough. Even tho I trusted him so much. I don't want to feel remorse anymore. Because my intentions for him were to make him happy. But he chooses himself and said he wants to be happy by himself and told me to be happy without him 😔

@tommyy8297 Жыл бұрын

@@Ssn5881 it’s a part of life all u can do it learn and move on. It it’ll happen it’ll happen but you have to evolve. We are all still learning

@lust4life791 Жыл бұрын

I committed the very same mistake. I revealed too much of myself.. I ruined not only my relationship but my reputation in an Instutiton too

@lust4life791 Жыл бұрын

The worst thing is that I still have to see them everyday for at least 3 years..

@aleksandrah1193 3 жыл бұрын

It hit me really hard: "Maybe it was the best you could do at the time with your resources, with your current wounds, with the knowledge that you had in the moment. Maybe it was your best at the time" Thank you Matt for a reminder to be gentle ❤️ really needed it.

@johnwayzwayz3106 2 жыл бұрын

You are great thanks for bringing back my separated, husband? kzfaq.infoxy2q4fkipsg?feature=share

@mama_johnna9191 2 жыл бұрын

Ohhhhhh myyyyyyyy!!!!!! yessssss!!!!!! 🥺😭💔 "SWEAR that part hit me the hardest".

@bksdon1495 Жыл бұрын

shit hit me hard too

@KanjiruSama Жыл бұрын

This is really how is felt… like my best wasnt enough and i knew i wouldnt be enough

@tromboner6061 Жыл бұрын

bs wrong advice. Own your mistakes

@Jauaua 4 жыл бұрын

"Being with someone whose needs you don’t feel you can meet, or you don’t feel you can meet consistently, is a slow form of torture that will erode your confidence over time until you forget who you were."

@petergleave3198 2 жыл бұрын

Yeah....that was the moment that hit me. Wow.

@suecole5543 2 жыл бұрын

Yes a sad fact but so true.

@kelvonismo 2 жыл бұрын

this is the line that gets thru me the most

@Kris-kq5yi 2 жыл бұрын

This sums up the last ten years of my life.

@EduardoOliveira-zx9ju 2 жыл бұрын

Somebody wasn't giving away the WOP😂

@SweetMoon87 Жыл бұрын

I needed this so much. My brain is killing me with regret. I’m ready to let it all go.

@joesillamanrs7189 Жыл бұрын

Same. I wish you healing well

@grenolf Жыл бұрын

Same here and it's been almost two months for me..I just want to be able to let go and not feel so guilty and ruminate over and over about her..

@PearceNicholas Жыл бұрын

@@grenolf been two years for me. It hits hardest in times of emotional crisis

@robstone6711 Жыл бұрын

Same here. We’re all going through it together. I’m confident one day I will make it out.

@TheRealSlimshadyyyyyy Жыл бұрын

You and me both girl..😔

@aquapr901 Жыл бұрын

"Maybe it was the best you could do at the time with your resources, with your current wounds, with the knowledge that you had in the moment. Maybe it was your best at the time"

@RiyashiChanda 4 жыл бұрын

The right relationship isn't brittle ❤️

@lubnan08 4 жыл бұрын

Agreed

@lisayoung2641 4 жыл бұрын

Amen to that

@How.Dare.You. 4 жыл бұрын

Problem is that I was not doing my best at all, it was the easiest relationship to make the best and I fckd it up by sabotaging it and being impatient

@raygacy 4 жыл бұрын

Yes I agree 😊

@danieladoig1464 4 жыл бұрын

@@How.Dare.You. it's okay. It's all you knew at that time. Things will get better

@sarahbocht9027 3 жыл бұрын

“the right relationship isnt brittle.” 😭 So true but so hard when you just got ghosted after planning a marriage and a life together. 😭😭😭💔💔💔

@aleksandrah1193 3 жыл бұрын

Hi Sarah, sending you a lot of hugs. I imagine how hard it must be. Remember that you are enough, girl❤️

@oscarwilliamson1264 3 жыл бұрын

Sarah Bocht,you deserve better 🙏🙏🙏

@Islandside63 2 жыл бұрын

Keep you're head up 💯💪🏾

@charmbee 2 жыл бұрын

oh man this pains me to read, just know the ghosting has a lot more to do with him than you. He cannot simply face the emotional ramifications of a break up

@fleshmaiden69 2 жыл бұрын

I'm so sorry 😞

@juandamaceno3682 Жыл бұрын

"The right relationship isn't brittle" dude you have no ideia how much peace this phrase brought. Thank you so much, +1 follower

@thetiffingpoints 2 жыл бұрын

I did screw it up. Our seven-year relationship ended two months ago because of me. My ex broke it off because he felt I was cold and detached (and yes, he was right), and he felt under-appreciated. It was all my fault. I've been beating myself up these past months and wished I could've done better for him. He didn't deserve any of that. He has always been kind, understanding, and loyal towards me. But he realized that his needs weren't met and though he didn't communicate properly, I still know that it was all my fault. I led the downfall. I was going through so much at that time we were together and the separation needed to happen for me to understand myself better, and to realize what "love" means because I lost my understanding of the concept for so many years. I had to experience loss and grief to understand how to "love" and appreciate the good things. I'm still grieving the loss. But now I am on the road to self-forgiveness. Thank you, Matthew.

@parisam7659 Жыл бұрын

Did you guys ever reconsider the relationship?

@tiffingpoints Жыл бұрын

@@parisam7659 Hi, I fought for him, he did a bit of thinking to reconsider but he ended things.

@trollywood5373 Жыл бұрын

I relate with everything you said to a tee! It saddens me that your update isn’t that you’re both together because it gives me the feeling my ex will decide to stay away as well. Learn and do better next time!

@cabrondemente1 Жыл бұрын

Only half of it si your fault, if he didn't comunícate his needs is entirely his.

@tiffingpoints Жыл бұрын

@@cabrondemente1 thank you so much for saying this.

@emmaturnermusic 4 жыл бұрын

I kept saying over and over again to my ex that he wasn't listening to my needs and that he was dismissing them. After the consistent argument about this, he would always say he would do it next time but it never happened. I realised he would appease the argument but never took the time to understand what he could do to not hurt my feelings. I found it so frustrating that he would expect me to listen to his needs and be in his shoes but he couldn't put himself in my shoes and he told me I was nagging him when I actually tried to communicate with him about proactive ways on being a kind, caring partner. My point is, if a partner's words aren't aligning with their actions, it's a red flag, get out. It's not worth staying in it. Take time for yourself and when you're ready, meet other people. Always trust your gut and you don't have to settle and don't be scared to be vocal about what you need in a relationship. There are so many people who will treat you with respect without you feeling like you're asking too much for the basic fundamentals and non-negotiables in a relationship; kindness, being thoughtful and showing care towards you as a partner.

@emmaturnermusic 4 жыл бұрын

sweetie lim Thank you! I will! xx

@wotaloadof 4 жыл бұрын

It’s because, most men don’t know how to communicate effectively with women- its not their “fault”, its just something they need to work on. With respect, when men and women communicate, its like a different language sometimes. Both may need to learn to communicate, and its easier to just throw the towel in, placing blame on each other for needs not being met, misunderstandings, and in some cases, sometimes some women are too needy, and sometimes men lose their masculine core during these times, often chosing to bail out, and even if temporarily recenter themselves. But often times, the women have “had enough” and are either in the process of moving on, or have moved on, and may feel bitter as a result no matter how the relationship ended, so chances of rekindling the relationship is often low, depending on how the woman feels about the other person. Ultimately, it takes two people to work at a relationship, and people are far too busy pointing out the flaws in the other, rather than looking at their own, and working together, to actually get through tough spots. Just my 2 cents

@emmaturnermusic 4 жыл бұрын

Dave Red Pill - I totally agree where you’re coming from. My frustration with my last relationship is that I can own my own mistakes - heck, I am not perfect. But I found myself constantly apologising for him and communicating for him. He would put his ownership of his feelings onto me because he wasn’t mature enough to communicate how he felt. If we were on a level playing field, it should have really been both of us owning our own mistakes because a relationship comes down to teamwork. In retrospect, I realised he had too much pride nor the maturity to discuss things that really mattered between partners like, health or personal topics. One thing we both agree on is we’re just not compatible. I am now talking to someone on a similar emotional level to me, which makes the last relationship a big learning curve and we are both in a happier place. x

@wotaloadof 4 жыл бұрын

Loreal Alford - yeah I can’t argue with that. If the guy is genuinely selfish in that way then yeah, things aren’t going to change. The same could be said about women though, so it is a case of going through life’s journey, and figuring out if the next guy is the right one or not. I hope you do find the right guy for you.

@emmaturnermusic 4 жыл бұрын

Loreal Alford - So very true! It sucks because - not to get into gender stereotypes - but there is this general unspoken understanding that women are there to emotionally cushion the man - that women should tolerate the guy when he is being selfish because he is being a guy. At the same time, there is this pressure on guys that they need to be what society perceives them as “manly” and not being able to talk about their feelings or to learn how to express their feelings, which is also not healthy from a mental health standpoint. My personal opinion is that a couple should be able to talk and share their emotions and that it’s ok for a guy to be sensitive and emotional, but he needs to learn how to do that (if he wants the help) but it shouldn’t be an excuse to put it all on his partner and blame them for his need to express his needs. x

@pixxie__ 4 жыл бұрын

I truly believe we meet people for a reason. So don't regret any relationship because there is always growth to take from it, or good memories, or identity formation that couldn't have happened without said relationship. None of my relationships have worked out so far, but I'm still eternally grateful that I was apart of each one of them because I wouldn't be who I am today without it, and they wouldn't be either. No one can ever take away what YOU take away from a relationship.

@youniqca1489 3 жыл бұрын

We learnt by any kind of experience ! My mate said” why are u looking at break up like a lesson again?” Cos I can drain little things from it and feel grateful and progressing

@misslanapford9169 3 жыл бұрын

Dear Alex I do love people like u, the eternal optimist.. it would be lovely to think so....

@luisterrust 3 жыл бұрын

Yes we meet them for a reason! Every person we attract into our lives to learn us something about ourselves ✅❤️

@marywilliams9768 3 жыл бұрын

I disagree I wasted 6 years of relationships when I could of invested in work,finance health, my health and other things that would of reciprocated in a positive way.

@Babesinthewood97 3 жыл бұрын

We also meet lots of people who never even leave an impression. I guess some people matter and there's a reason for that. But is everything that happens to us meant to happen by some higher force? No way. Murder and rape happens, and that is not for the good of all or whatever "for a reason " means. Some people are simply shit people and you shouldn't have met them.

@jaxcarrilho236 Жыл бұрын

I really needed to see this today. I lost my perfect partner over me being jealous over something so silly and now I sit here alone and heatbroken full of regret.

@popparoni9756 Жыл бұрын

It gets better in time. Hopefully you don’t have to see them too often, that really kills the healing process

@priyanshupippal0562 Жыл бұрын

@@popparoni9756 and then there are people who have to see their ex on daily basis.

@alistening78 Жыл бұрын

This is what I'm feeling right now. I feel like I failed the relationship. I know I needed to forgive myself for being too jealous. I'm praying for brighter days

@priyanshupippal0562 Жыл бұрын

@@alistening78 Bro, You don't have to be so hard on yourself. BTW how much time it had been since you broke up with her?

@jimjones3173 Жыл бұрын

@@alistening78 you had reasons to be so there was red flags or something don’t be so hard on yourself

@lea5x5 Жыл бұрын

I feel like I lost the love of my life, and so I come back to this video again and again to remind me. Thank you.

@sachinmahi7709 Жыл бұрын

Same the connection was super deep as well and won't know if I could find that with someone else

@kyleoliver5763 Жыл бұрын

It really does works for you !!

@RAMIC-tv1ye Жыл бұрын

@@sachinmahi7709 same here I feel I cannot connect with any other woman

@__Attitude__ Жыл бұрын

@@RAMIC-tv1ye and on thr other hand ...kya ladkiya bhi yahi sochti h...nah i dont think so....Ladke in reallly hote h aise....and m proud i am one of them rn.....

@Theman-ug6zy 8 ай бұрын

I feel you on that.

@jketfield 4 жыл бұрын

It's not nice when someone makes you feel inadequate and unloved .

@DNA350ppm 3 жыл бұрын

If that person stays despite not appreciating and loving you so much and steady that you can feel sure about the sincerity, then you must do the breaking up yourself, because s/he is out to have you at hand for convenience, and preferring you to be insecure and submissive. Run - but be prepared for bizarr reactions. Let your sharp memory serve you and don't get soft, you know what you know. Enough.

@anelboshoff7063 3 жыл бұрын

Or makes you feel like you are too much to handle

@ericaroundtheworld 2 жыл бұрын

Or maybe this is me making him feel that way . I am such a shitty person

@_Favvy___ 2 жыл бұрын

@@ericaroundtheworld same😭😭

@ellengrace4609 4 жыл бұрын

Matthew: People leave because... 1. They’re not good at dealing with tough times in a relationship. 2. You are not meeting what they perceive to be their needs. Me: Another reason people leave is “the grass is always greener” syndrome.

@felixandboots2 3 жыл бұрын

Sounds just like a Narcissist, can’t handle anything and they throw temper tantrums whenever something doesn’t go well. They also expect you to give, give, give because they think the world revolves around them and they can’t bother themselves with what you might need or have to say. Also if you are an empath watch out, because narcissist love to pray on people who they find caring and giving. They view this as a weakness and try to manipulate and deceive these types to get their way.

@nyuchu 3 жыл бұрын

I think that falls in number one

@ellengrace4609 3 жыл бұрын

Annette Celia Rosemary Not necessarily. Some guys just happen upon someone else and go for it.

@ragedinah4610 3 жыл бұрын

@@ellengrace4609 then u have to include girls here to, tho

@ellengrace4609 3 жыл бұрын

@@ragedinah4610 Agreed. That’s why I said people and not men, in my original post.

@naterk9460 2 жыл бұрын

"The right relationship is not brittle." This is exactly what I needed to hear. When things were good, they were great. But the moment things got a little difficult, she'd always shut down and not talk to me. In the last two months before she broke up with me, I always felt like I was walking on egg-shells. She'd get mad at me for wanting to spend a day or two a week with her because apparently that was "too needy" and she "didn't have enough time in her life for that." The second that things got tough she emotionally bailed on the relationship long before she broke up with me. As much as I want to convince myself how great we were together, and as much as I keep making excuses for her even now, deep down, I know that I was never going to make her happy. She wanted things to go a very specific way and wasn't willing to meet me half-way, nor would she communicate these to me before getting mad at me about them. It sucks, and I don't fully believe it myself yet, but one day I know I'll appreciate that I'm better off without her.

@stealthhelp Жыл бұрын

My ex just broke up with me yesterday. I'm so broken brother. She's making me feel that I can't be needy. That because I'm different from most men and put love above all else, that It's unhealthy and not right. I'm so broken. Unable to breathe having panic attacks needing her. So confused from the girl I spent the past year with and who she is now that she decided she no longer needs me. She says she has a life to live. As if love isn't all we need...I'm so broken....

@kennethallen1765 Жыл бұрын

@Nater K Sounds like she has an avoidant attachment style, and may be a narcissist

@NintendoCaprisunish Жыл бұрын

Man, I relate to this so much...

@Isaac-yk7xx Жыл бұрын

Honestly you worded it how mine just ended.

@redline350zHR Жыл бұрын

This… if only she would understand before taking anything i say in the wrong context… its so disappointing

@swagatamukherjee8630 2 жыл бұрын

In love, you do whatever you can to make the other person happy even if it's apologising for something you didn't actually do...but that made them upset. I did the same, I blamed myself, I apologised, I corrected myself. But when it became a pattern, I just realized that I was actually the most cooperative and loving partner he could ever have. Feel sorry for people like me...who love with all their heart and end up with nothing except pain.

@PaulsChannel779 9 ай бұрын

Sounds like me. I feel destroyed.

@MEHARAFROZ-ub1hr 5 ай бұрын

I have been through something similar..more power to you

@alexlegrand4912 4 жыл бұрын

Iam single and I'm taking notes, next relationship gon be fire 😂

@nomatterwhat4661 3 жыл бұрын

😂😂😂 it will soon feel like acting school

@mechaelalapuaho226 3 жыл бұрын

Lol yessss get it!!🙌🏽

@offtime915 3 жыл бұрын

Good luck brother, may you find happiness!

@Cc-tp8tk 3 жыл бұрын

lmaooooo

@Babesinthewood97 3 жыл бұрын

@@nomatterwhat4661 to have principles isn't acting

@Oktaviii 4 жыл бұрын

I met my biggest love (the biggest so far) at the worst time of my life. So naturally I wasn’t at my best at that time, and couldn’t really show my best qualities and who I really am because I was at the middle of a huge crisis. At first I felt really bad about my behavior but then I realized that it was the best I could do at that time. And I need someone who could understand that and be empathetic. Yes it’s unfortunate that timing was so bad, that I couldn’t shine as much as I can now, that I wasn’t in control of my life as much as I’m now but maybe it just was meant to be that way. People met even at more unfortunate times, like during WW2 for example, and they still stayed together and fought for love no matter what. That’s what I need. If my great grandpa found time to write my great grandma a letter even though he was at war and fighting Germans, I’m sure guys now can put time and effort to fight for relationships despite “that business trip” or “too much that’s going on right now” etc etc

@DNA350ppm 3 жыл бұрын

You know more about love than he did - honor your insight and feelings. There is real love still, be open about who you are and don't pretend to be someone else - and the right man comes like the butterfly to the right flower. Trust it: "instincts" function when we don't give the wrong "signals". But you cannot totally hide either, that is not honest.

@indianchika123 3 жыл бұрын

im in the same boats although i have a loooot of regrets about the way i acted towards him, its taking me a while to accept, forgive and move on with myself :/ time heals all i guess

@DNA350ppm 3 жыл бұрын

@@indianchika123 Learning, living, loving! New chances come, keep your heart open and warm! Forgive yourself as you would others. Though being an atheist it has helped me to say the following sentences of Our Lord's prayer: "...and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us..." which have given people strength for centuries. All the best wishes for healing and recovery! us; a

@Oktaviii 3 жыл бұрын

@@indianchika123 so some time past since my post and during the past few months I found out about things I didn’t know before. I found out he was still not over his ex and wanted to get back together with her. I found out that he lied to me when he broke up with his ex (told me it was a year ago but in fact it was 3 months before we started going out). So at the end of the day there were reasons other than me not being at my best why we didn’t work out. So don’t blame yourself, the man who really wants to be with will be willing to understand when you are having a hard time and he will still stay. A man who doesn’t want to be with you will find every little flaw in you and will be fixated on your flaws instead of good qualities.

@disneyjenni 2 жыл бұрын

Did he come back to you? What’s the update?

@LesleySASMR 2 жыл бұрын

"Why would you want to be with someone whose needs you can't meet, even on your best day?" This describes my ex fiance'. Many times he told me that he was afraid he couldn't love me the way I needed to be loved. I've voiced my needs many times and pushed my own feelings of disappointment down to keep the relationship going for 6 years.

@kyleoliver5763 Жыл бұрын

I hope everyone find peace in whatever we’re all facing from the different angle

@JT-wc7me Жыл бұрын

I wasn't ready for the right person. It really sucks to not be good enough for the person you wanted to be with. It sucks. It's hard to learn that commitment isn't about staying no matter what. Commitment is a promise to myself to being the best for them & me every morning and every day. I took some wrong turns b4 I met them. It really sucks. I guess there's no going back, but this really sucked. How to stop missing someone we love so deeply.. It sucks so badly. I miss them more than I can accept and they don't want to speak to me ever again. So I just have to carry it around. I sure hope I can overcome this and become better.

@jimenaverdaguer5858 Жыл бұрын

I'm so sorry. My fiancé broke up with me yesterday and I know I was less than ideal for him. And knowing that sucks. I understand how you feel.

@mghell34 Жыл бұрын

I feel you

@terricotta9 Жыл бұрын

I'm in the same place, stay strong! It sucks is an understatement.

@JT-wc7me Жыл бұрын

Well It sure has sucked to face, but if you love someone tons and they have to go because you're not very fantastic and there's a lot of better options, it taught me not to love people. Not from hurt or sadness; just, if you can't lift a box, don't lift boxes. And it settles like how a raw, runny egg settles jn a hot pan. I'm not great. So I 1st accept that and then 2nd, I don't try to connect with others. It means that whoever I am now has to slowly go away. Remembering bdays and anniversaries doesn't matter if you're not much.. And so you go become more and work 12-16 hr days and stop hugging or smiling and become what all the perfect ppl are. Hard working and less focus on heart.. Just hard work always and then, when someone comes along, I will know it's becaue of my hard work, not my heart, and I won't want them for their heart.. So gotta find someone who's hard work benefits me in some way. Loving someone for no reason and no material gain has become a waste of life & energy..

@ggbooliano Жыл бұрын

@@JT-wc7me work on yourself and allow relationships to come in your life friends and other wise or you won’t heal my friend

@QBlond84 4 жыл бұрын

No I haven't screwed, they just left and it's thier loos. I'm definitely OK and cool with being single until someone better is going to come along.

@xxxxxxxxkitty 4 жыл бұрын

"Maybe it was the best you could do at the time" I needed to hear that right now, thank you Matthew, inspiring words as always ❤

@sweetielim1789 4 жыл бұрын

Hi beautiful, Great question for you! BEING SHY IS NOT A BAD THING?? Michaela Pink talking about something you know or would like to know more!! Feel free checkout this vid!🌹💯 kzfaq.info/get/bejne/rZZzareDqrvXoZ8.html

@jrosenich 2 жыл бұрын

Really needed to hear that as well...

@santjevana8279 2 жыл бұрын

Me too❤

@89190jprice Жыл бұрын

That's a big one for me, too.

@AL-sg2jd Жыл бұрын

Absolutely

@situn4377 2 жыл бұрын

After my 5 year relationship with my first and only love ended, the most important thing I realized is that I didn't love myself as much as I loved her which is why the regrets take over my mind.

@wikkedwitchmanifestation9866 2 жыл бұрын

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@MB-xv7er Жыл бұрын

I lost the love of my life. He met all my standards as a man and my life hasn’t been the same. It’s been now going on five years and the love is still there. Sometimes, time doesn’t heal all wounds. Sometimes, time reminds us just how deep that wound has festered

@mydarkside603 4 ай бұрын

How r u doing now? ❤️‍🩹

@isabellalucca5816 4 жыл бұрын

"The right relationship isn't brittle." I agree with this, to an extent. I sometimes wonder though, if this is just what people say to comfort themselves after breakups because the truth is, relationships are fragile things, and even the best of the them are in danger of breaking down under the "right" circumstances. Sometimes people use this logic to put their relationships through hell and back, reasoning "if they were right for me, we would have been able to withstand anything." There's a predominant attitude nowadays that your partner should accept all the facets of who you are, over the concept that relationships require a lot of self awareness, and relearning lots of behaviors and ways of thinking that are harmful to them. Its a culture that encourages an attitude of blame towards our partners for not loving us exactly as we are, rather than looking at ourselves and what we are doing, or not doing, to contribute to failed relationships. We live in a society that fosters self denial over accountability.

@jennp4228 4 жыл бұрын

Interesting insight.

@mantasbartasevicius3553 4 жыл бұрын

this is what i wanted to write :DDD thats how i think, absolutly agree. accountability and taking responsibilities, being aware what is going on and not creating fantasy.

@marcolopez8506 3 жыл бұрын

I think he is addressing to people that blame on themselves for the end of the relationship. You could have been too much as a person, but who isnt it? The right person will let you know and will work through that, but if they dont feel that much they will just leave, and that means it was not real relationship since the person who loves you doesnt give up on you so easy.

@almightypush9767 3 жыл бұрын

This is the same thoughts I have. Often debating if I’m too cynical or dreaming too much. The only thing that stands out for me is that I’ve been hard on myself for so long; I’ve let guilt lessen my self respect, anger blind me, and pride/fear effect my relationship and how I treated my partner. I think a person HAS to let go and be easy at some point. He’s right about the STRUGGLE of being someone. If you have to change who you or constantly appease someone then you will lose yourself.

@stevensmith5254 3 жыл бұрын

I am 64 years old i am certainly not hitting on you need advice if you are willing. Contacted my ex wife after 2 years of leaving her and had tried before that and had made some mistakes.When i fist contacted her the sunday after thankgiving she said she had been in love with2 guys since this april one broke her heart the other died suddenly in october.Latter the week after friday she asked me to come over than said it was to soon and was going over to the other mans house that she told me she loves we are chistians and she has not ever been like this.last week wednesday after talking she invited me to her house as soon as i was in the door planing on taking it slow she was grabed and held me so tight saying latter that she would leave the other man and then we laid down and did everything but sex i was nervous and maybe worried i could not perform.the next day when after things went well on the phone she said she still loved the other man and needed time 2 days latter out of desperation i texted her brother not i anger and told him some of what happened.she then texted me do not talk with my brother family i do not want to be with you leave me alone do not bother me please give me advice i well never know what maybe would have happened if i had not done that with her brother.

@JoshuaMalilay 3 жыл бұрын

I felt a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. My lungs can finally get some air. Thank you so much for this.

@jd6331 3 жыл бұрын

Ya def hard to breathe sometimes. I hope you're doing better~

@estefania1858 Жыл бұрын

This hit home so hard. I cried in the last minutes of the video. I regret how I acted so much. He was the best anyone has ever treated me and I acted irrationally. I miss him so much and the fact that he is never coming back is torturing me every day. It has been almost a year. I still miss him terribly. Even though I have worked on myself and bettered myself so much in these last few months, I just miss the loving connection that we had. I just want to finally be okay. I am so scared that I will never meet anyone who I will feel this connected and loving towards ever again.

@npc-li5ci 9 ай бұрын

Did you find someone?

@estefania1858 8 ай бұрын

@@npc-li5ci Wow, thank you for bringing me back to this comment! Yes, I myself cannot believe it, but I found someone else and he is so much better! I am still not fully healed and I probably never will be, but every day the love my boyfriend shows me heals a tiny piece of my heart. I am never letting this one go. He is so amazing and the best man I ever met.

@npc-li5ci 8 ай бұрын

@@estefania1858glad to hear that Treat him as good as he treats you Good luck!

@shardaeyilma5128 4 ай бұрын

I’m so glad to have read this comment today. Gives me some hope.

@estefania1858 4 ай бұрын

@@shardaeyilma5128 We are engaged now! I like to think my ex boyfriend did not leave, but was simply moved out of the way for my husbands sake. Also, I now know things about my ex that do not make him that amazing in hindsight. I pity his new girlfriend. Never lose hope!

@noleenleyland6238 Жыл бұрын

"Bring a wiser you to the next one"... this hits home! I've wrecked my brain with regrets over mistakes I in retrospect realised I had made in a previous relationship... thank you. I needed to hear this 😭😭😭

@EuropeYear1917 Жыл бұрын

Agreed… I’m trying to start a relationship with a new girlfriend, but I was living in fear of failure (the possibility of losing her)… but this video seems to have helped me find peace in my past. I needed that peace to convince myself I can go forward a wiser, better person with the current woman I’m courting… that I’m not the person I was before, I’m better that the past me. I can do this! A weight has been lifted from my shoulders…

@misslanapford9169 4 жыл бұрын

There is a difference between. I can't met your needs and they don't want to met your needs. 🙄🙄🙄🙄

@livingyourstory6885 4 жыл бұрын

BOOM!!! 💥. 100% agree.

@misslanapford9169 4 жыл бұрын

@@livingyourstory6885 My ex was a big fan of saying it, but he never had a problem with it for the first 2 years. 🙂

@catalinaosben1339 4 жыл бұрын

no, If you can't be just yourself to be with someone, so that person is not the indicated

@pracheechaudhary5854 4 жыл бұрын

OMG yesss. So so true

@kanteannightmare 4 жыл бұрын

Right. He said what he wanted to talk about… why did you inject a dichotomy where there wasn't one?

@Noodlebo 10 күн бұрын

I’ve destroyed myself I’ve been thru so much now that I’ve finally seen a person that truly was meant for me I’ve found a way to sabotage this

@cartergibson8942 2 жыл бұрын

Just watched this after a breakup a few days ago and I felt like I didn’t put enough effort into my past relationship, I’ve just burst out into tears after watching this ❤️❤️

@joeshlong9614 10 ай бұрын

How are you? I feel the same way with mine. Does it get easier? Did you ever just realize you tried your best and unfortunately it didn’t work out?

@tylermartin3213 10 ай бұрын

@@joeshlong9614I feel this shame and regret. I was with my partner for 4.5 years. We were engaged for the last 6 months. Financial pressure when saving for the big day hurt us. My invulnerability hurt us. My lack of compromise hurt us. I put so much pressure on us. I was living 4+years down the line and not being present and appreciating what I had. We’ve been split for about a month and it still hurts. Everyday I’m checking my phone to see if she’s messaged me. Maybe she’s thinking of me. In future- I will compromise even if it makes me uncomfortable. I think life’s about compromise. I know she’s the one I want to be with until the end, back then I was too naive to see it! One day I hope she gives me a chance again 👏🏻

@jonasdamico720 8 ай бұрын

I feel like you, but we can grow, move forward and make better choices in the future. We aren't going to repeat these behaviors. ..we know what consequences they bring.

@joeshlong9614 8 ай бұрын

@@jonasdamico720 it’s a big thing. People make mistakes it’s apart of life. Just be sure you’re having this mindset for the right person. If you saw my comment before, I was a wreck. I thought I fucked up my whole relationship. But I found out my ex cheated on me, she came back wanting to date again and I said no. So basically, just make sure the person you’re grieving over is worth it. In my case, I thought she was, but I realized the relationship ending was the best thing for me. Things change, it’s all okay.

@brokenspielt 2 жыл бұрын

I left my ex because I felt I didn't deserve all her attention and love. I wasn't corresponding, and felt an enormous guilt for bringing her down, even if most of the time she was thrilled to love me. I also felt she was too agreeable with me so I spiraled into my insecurities and kind of started to push her to not depend on me. I broke up almost 3 months ago because I felt it was the honest thing to do and I was insecure. She found someone else pretty soon after and regret my decision with all my heart. Because I see she was not depending on me, she was just giving her heart all willfully and I couldn't realize. I did what I could with my resources as you say, but still the guilt eats me at night. I really really want her back in my life, but I fear she is forgetting me and I have no clue wether to talk to her (only with positive stuff) or wait.... Anyway, thank you for reading me anyone, I really appreciate it.

@krozy3 Жыл бұрын

Really sad to hear bro. Hope all is well now.

@mariaruning4919 Жыл бұрын

Thank you fir your story. Similar to mine. Pushed best friend away because I wanted him as a friend and I was doubting ny choice.. and then we became an item for a year and even though it was short time he was giving me so much. We were soulmates. But I self-hatred selfharmed and hurt him and us.. and we broke up many many times.. Today he has a knew girlfriend shortly after we broke up. I struggle with borderline and just taking one ay at a time. We did your best with our knowledge at that time .. and matthew also says in another video. "You wont change when you think you need to. You change when you can say... I cannot beeaaar to be this person anymore. " We couldn't have done differently because that was what made sense to us back then. Based on environmental inputs and childhood upbringing and instincts. Love love love yourself. Force to love yourself and know that we DO deserve to find something and create something that's great with someone else 💚

@aGiibb 9 ай бұрын

Same thing is going on with me

@Jonas-ik2dk 6 күн бұрын

Thank you for sharing. I can relate to all that your writting and i have been pretty much through the same as you. May i ask how you are today?

@violemunram 4 жыл бұрын

Well, I like to think of it this way Matthew: I am the love of my life, everything else is just a bonus. To get any bonus, and keep it, I have to work. I am also someone else's bonus, to keep me in their life they have to work. Relationships of any kind, go both ways. When they don't, they're not fair nor healthy.

@kiara4972 4 жыл бұрын

Well spoken!!! 😎👌👌👌👌🙌🙌🙌😘❤️

@briana14333 4 жыл бұрын

"I am the love of my life." I LOVE that! I'm keeping that in my pocket.

@divu1784 3 жыл бұрын

Beautifully said. This is it!

@GR-uc1gq 2 жыл бұрын

Wow taking notes

@speedyb5434 3 жыл бұрын

I'm not perfect, I'm far far from it but I tried making her happy. So heartbroken.

@The_Darrell 3 жыл бұрын

As long as you tried... you should be happy knowing that.

@robertandel7802 2 жыл бұрын

I tried and tried and was never good enough!!!

@How.Dare.You. 2 жыл бұрын

😪 same...

@hjtres7261 2 жыл бұрын

You cant Make another person happy. You're just a part of it. If she left, there was something else going on with her. You did your best. 💜

@How.Dare.You. 2 жыл бұрын

@@hjtres7261 no but you need to contribute to their already existing happiness and not chip it away by being passive and disenaged just bc apparently "you cant make them happy"

@gospelenoch6355 11 ай бұрын

I fuekcd up... She needed me at that moment... She wanted me to do better... Care more for her, meet her needs... And try to be nice to her... But I felt a pressure cause I couldn't meet her financial needs cos she was going back to school... We said terrible things to each other... But what break me most was when she said the relationship was a bondage and that 2yrs with me is a waste, so I decided to end it so she could have her life... But I feel like I should have fought for us... I feel like I'm a coward... It's over 3months and I can't stop blaming myself 😓

@mesmerizingj3898 2 жыл бұрын

It takes a lot more courage to walk out of an dysfunctional relationship than to sustain it. Thank you for this video.

@albertong9665 4 жыл бұрын

I just let go someone an hour ago then this video come. I realized that it's better to let go someone who didn't value you or want to try to fix the problem or make time for you. If you fantasize of things could be differently to keep that person, don't. Cause : 1. you'll beat yourself up for that, please be kind to yourself. Remember, Break up doesn't devalue you as individual, so don't let yourself devalue you. You'll need you the most at that time. You're still as precious and valuable as human being as before you in that relationship. 2. If you did things differently, things might be different, it might prolong the relationship (and sometimes the pain too) or it could make things worse. But you'll lose the spontaneous side of you, in the long run, you'll be tired. Remember you tried your best at that time and that's all matter. And don't forget, you also matter. Wish all of us the best.

@Godsgirl804 4 жыл бұрын

Just went through the same thing! After an hour of letting someone go due to lack of needs given the right way I know I deserve, this video popped up! I wish everyone the best! God bless

@arjunamolligoda 4 жыл бұрын

Thank u.... i needed this. . Guess u cant force anyone to love u if they just dont in d first place... it hurts and i am happy that i made the decision finally.. but i miss him so much....

@nytibetanwoman8575 3 жыл бұрын

@@arjunamolligoda why don’t they say it from the beginning & mislead you until the day they decide to leave

@reneesimmons1890 2 жыл бұрын

@@nytibetanwoman8575 mine gave me mixed messages for 10 months. I am so sorry you are hurting. ❤️🙏🏻

@nytibetanwoman8575 2 жыл бұрын

@@reneesimmons1890 hi I came here seeing you responded. Honestly, I am freed and relieved..I learned that for whatever reason you are aware or not, if the person decides to leave, let them. There is no point, trying to hold him back desperately- no apologies, nothing..In future, I will say I respect your decision. If I made an immediate mistake because of which he decides to leave, I will say I am sorry for my behavior but if you decide to leave, I respect your decision - I swear I will say this. I realized recently that my ex has gone camping with his ex, in initial two months of our relationship, I doubted that coz he compared me with her out of nowhere when I was talking to him about myself, he promised, he won’t hang out with her but after our break, I saw in one of live videos that they were camping. I believe he meets her during our relationship too even though he denies. Well, I don’t need to coward, liar, indecisive, and insecure man. it doesn’t hurt anymore and now that I learned my lesson, I will never try to figure out why they leave but will let them go.

@reemhosam6061 4 жыл бұрын

You don't know how timely this was, Mathew. My partner and I have just broken up after a 2-year long relationship, and this video was in my notifications waiting for me. The whole time I was listening to you I was crying, because it felt so personal, like you were talking to exactly me. Like this video was made to reach me at this exact moment. Thank you. Thank you so much. This will help me go through at least a few days knowing that this relationship may have been perhaps too brittle, even though I have loved it and sought to keep it with all my heart. Update: I met somebody amazing shortly after thr breakup, and I'm so glad I left a relationship that wasn't right for me :)

@unicorn998 3 жыл бұрын

I am in the same situation. Its so painful and yet the relationship had no strength to sustain an argument.

@happysmile9 3 жыл бұрын

I totally feel you!! Same here! This situation sucks! I feel so lost, heartbroken and devastated.. Stay strong and please pray for me too.. God bless you and good luck!!.. Better days will come!.. 🙏❤

@sjannadv 3 жыл бұрын

I hope you are doing oke

@frightfairy 3 жыл бұрын

Howe are you doing now?

@evelinagoston6744 3 жыл бұрын

How are you now?:)

@ignitelegend5957 Жыл бұрын

Man after crying for the first time in a while and venting out my whole situation and listening to others' journeys, this is the most mental clarity I have had in a while. It feels like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Praying this feeling lasts for a little longer.

@tjbohmier46 Жыл бұрын

Just golden! "Relationships should not be brittle". Connections should flow easily and communication of your concerns should never be feared.

@dimple8567 4 жыл бұрын

watching this at 4 am and I immediately feel better , going through a post breakup emotional trauma but day by day I am healing and being my better self , thank you matt! love and light 💓

@CCCC-tq8yo 3 жыл бұрын

1 month later

@dimple8567 3 жыл бұрын

CC CC i am feeling really better and I am really grateful that it happened because I couldn't have been the person I am today without going through that tough time

@livingthingszw5991 2 жыл бұрын

@@dimple8567 how are you?

@coolidgedurham17 2 жыл бұрын

I am still upset

@ItsRimi 4 жыл бұрын

That was good. That was reaaal good! 🙌🏼

@fleadoggreen9062 3 жыл бұрын

That’s what she said !!

@travistee368 3 жыл бұрын

Hey checkmark

@fijeta 2 жыл бұрын

Agree!!!

@adamdeveau6311 2 жыл бұрын

Big time

@patbrodigan7754 2 жыл бұрын

@@travistee368 u are so right ✅ 👏

@bryansmith113 Жыл бұрын

even if you did fuck up, the right relationship is not brittle. It hard to not blame yourself after a relationship but its a very good point that the right person would have been there for the weather as we were there for their storm. Time to find the courage to grow.

@peachesandpoets Жыл бұрын

"the right relationship isn't brittle" just saved my heart

@bessliu5108 4 жыл бұрын

“It was my best at that point of time.”

@kanteannightmare 4 жыл бұрын

And sometimes that shatters people. That's why these videos are so bad they stop you from learning the one thing that's important. You love that person right? Then focus on them part attention to them. If they aren't right don't over look it, if what they are doing isn't that big let it go. Above all communicate without accusing them.

@sweetielim1789 4 жыл бұрын

@Teal_Seal 3 жыл бұрын

This stuck out to me too. Been wondering if we’d be together now if only I had done this or hadn’t done that. He’s with someone else now and it’s too late. But I’m wiser now and maybe I’ll get another chance to do it better with someone else. 🤞

@RenaeJGray 3 жыл бұрын

The best you were capable of at that time.

@RakWink 4 жыл бұрын

I’ve never been so fast to click when this popped up on my notifications

@isaywhatiwantt Жыл бұрын

I think I just feel he treated me so good like a princess. Wrote me a whole journal about how much he loved me. Letters. Gifts. But I have to remind myself constantly I did the same for him. I had insecurities but I was working so hard to be better.

@mizzboss505 Жыл бұрын

I really needed to hear this. I was in it 11-year relationship and got broken up with. I've been beating myself up about what I could have done better and differently. Hearing this has made me feel so much better. Thank you so much this was so comforting to me.

@freakyholic 4 ай бұрын

Hey! I'm in a similar situation as you now, been 8 months beating myself up about what I could have done better and differently. How are things going for you now?

@4EvaPups 3 жыл бұрын

5:08 Very profound point to stay human and fair to ourselves rather than beating ourselves up for “what could have been done”

@jararegino3637 4 жыл бұрын

I am completely healed from my past 3 years relationship. He was a narcissist and I still think about it to this today how I was manipulated into thinking I walked away from a ‘great’ man. Narcissists tend to put themselves up on a pedestal thinking they are above everyone else and that what we had was special and one of a kind. After the break up, I really went into self sabotaging stage where I blamed everything on myself - that maybe I asked for ‘too much’ or overthinked situations through. Later I realized, what I was asking for is just the basics: appreciation and assurance. The need to feel heard and seen. I was too attached and in denial that he wasn’t that ‘into’ me to compromise or just meet halfway. Looking back, it was a painful journey of healing but nothing can be more liberating than getting out of that toxic relationship where I felt alone and my emotional needs are not being met. Took a long time to finally let go and it all comes down to knowing your worth and removing yourself from a situation that isn’t serving you anymore.

@kayleeluna1555 4 жыл бұрын

I was in the SAME situation. I’m so hurt by everything

@chiarafragassi4290 3 жыл бұрын

You are speaking my mind!! I left my boyfriend of 2 years just a month ago.. the relationship was so toxic, always making me feel less than him and questioning myself if I am asking for too much and so on.. however I am not healed yet :( I know it takes time, but I still feel so broken.. how long did it take you to fully let go and be happy again?

@joanandreanoweyland57 Жыл бұрын

I've been hard on myself for screwing things up for almost a year now. This is the best piece of advice I've had so far. Thank you.

@connorw360 2 ай бұрын

How are you getting on now? What helped you to stop going over regrets in your mind?

@leonardofilippini3455 Жыл бұрын

It’s crazy how you’re actually giving an exact answer to all my questions, in this video. Feels like you’re sitting down next to me, listening and answering to all these doubts that are blocking me from moving on a rejection after I invested so much in the relationship and I’m struggling to keep out the sense of regrets and the feeling that I didn't do enough, when I know that the problem simply wasn't me. Thank you so much for your knowledge and you’re ability to help other sensitive people like me.

@bronxbaubles 4 жыл бұрын

This is one of the most powerful relationship video to view after a break up. As I struggle through my recent break up I heard myself say all those things and beating myself up saying I should’ve could’ve. I so needed to hear this today. I watched it several times just to burn the ideas to memory. that love is not brittle and it’s a good thing if someone leaves now who does not have staying power. Thank you.

@sweetielim1789 4 жыл бұрын

Great question for you! BEING SHY IS NOT A BAD THING?? Michaela Pink talking about something you know or would like to know more!! Feel free checkout this vid!🌹💯 kzfaq.info/get/bejne/rZZzareDqrvXoZ8.html

@oscarwilliamson1264 3 жыл бұрын

Bronx Baubles Titi Ga, you deserve a good man 😍😍😍🙏🙏🤙

@emnabenayed8472 4 жыл бұрын

I'm happy that my 5 years relationship has ended , he was a NARC and I didn't realize it until now. I'm really thankful and thankful for your videos they helped me enormously .

@livingyourstory6885 4 жыл бұрын

Congrats for getting out. Those relationships are the most difficult to leave. Sigh.

@emnabenayed8472 4 жыл бұрын

@@livingyourstory6885 true true, it was incredibly painful but I'm happy now and so relieved.

@Itimad-ou7nv 2 жыл бұрын

@@livingyourstory6885 im in now as we speak

@mesri3 2 жыл бұрын

Even though I heard this many a time from my friends and family, the way you said this, the concern, the empathy brought tears to my eyes.

@WahyuSudiro 10 ай бұрын

"Maybe what you were doing, even if it wasn't objectively the best you could do, maybe it was the best you could do at the time; with your resources, your currect wounds, with the things you're dealing with internally, with the knowledge that you had at the moment. Maybe that was your best at that time." That hits me hard. Thank you for that.

@shannonfranks10 3 жыл бұрын

Thank you Matthew. You teach without judgement, but with compassion and respect for everyone. Listening to you, I feel less shame and more empowered. I hope therapists are listening to you too!

@GoFbassist 3 жыл бұрын

Where you say "maybe it's the best you could do with your current wounds" I wouldn't have known I still had the wounds if I hadn't said what is said to have him disappear. And if that's the reason he was in my life, to show me those wings that I now get to heal for the next relationship, then I am grateful for him and that experience ❤️

@AP-hk3lk 2 жыл бұрын

What you said really resonates with my relationship experience right now. A lot of bad advice out there. You speak genuinely, I have learned so much from this breakup. I saw this crisis as an opportunity to understand myself and communicate better, I understand better now why I wasn’t at ease in the relationship arrangement.

@lb8141 Жыл бұрын

I have been feeling such guilt, anxiety and regret. I needed to see and hear this today. Thank you so much.

@AAAMANDA 4 жыл бұрын

I swear it’s like you keep tabs on my life and then make a video to fit my situation perfectly. I needed this video. Thanks ❤️🌸

@simpleandkind 3 жыл бұрын

Thanks Matthew & your team! To me, you're not just a relationship coach but a deep thinker. You care deeply and have invested so much to make this 8 minute video, something I've been thinking about for months, it's empowering to have confirmation and encouragement from you! Love as always!!!

@rushabhdalvi Жыл бұрын

Heart touching explanation on how to stop blaming yourself, "It was your best you could do at the time♥️".

@janecamilon489 Жыл бұрын

Great advice, Matthew! Thank you. I love the part about "doing the best you could do at the time". Not beating yourself up for your mistakes.

@Mrcube011 3 жыл бұрын

When we look back on what we could’ve done after an argument that’s a reflection of viewing our mistakes and learning which is why I understand the need to communicate and coming back from it. Seems so simple but it’s still an eye opener, but even if a relationship ends just means and you move on like you said it saves years of pain and even being okay when in reality you are bothered and hurting. There is pain that makes you feel horrible and worse than before but there is a pain that makes you smarter, stronger, and wiser as a person once it’s set and done

@Nina-jc3be 4 жыл бұрын

Cried a lot to this video. Got released in the right time while I was about to break emotionally and mentally. Thank you.

@MissRegina79 2 жыл бұрын

This is by far the best heartbreak video I’ve seen… you can never imagine how much you have been helping me heal & get thru this breakup. Thank you so much Matthew!

@shoaibburney7047 Жыл бұрын

Thank you so much Matt. I needed this today. I was not able to let things out. But watching your video made me cry and let things off my chest.

@caitlinbabcock9883 3 жыл бұрын

Thank you for all of your insights! Your videos give me confidence in life in general. Relationships aren’t just romantic. There’s an ebb and flow with everybody we interact with. You really help navigate that with your advice. I’m greatly appreciative for your kind words and content!

@karlaroman5258 3 жыл бұрын

Thank you for putting precise words what happened. I was not fundamentally meeting his needs and he was not meeting mine. Thank you again. With your message I feel I can finally move past the regret and self blame

@GrippyGoth Жыл бұрын

This hits home really hard, especially "you did the best with the tools and information you had at the time" this was very healing to listen to, thank you and you're right.. the right relationship isn't brittle

@kasiai5437 2 жыл бұрын

Wow. This is gold. The best video I could have watched. There's something for the person I'm grieving - compassion and there is something for me - self-forgiveness. Thank you so much!!

@Jessiethegirl23 3 жыл бұрын

I am so grateful I’ve healed all my insecurities, learned how to protect my heart while being open to love, and even though the love of my life is not in my present moment I send him love while I attract him to me. We are growing towards each other. I’m happy to be the woman I want to be so I can be the woman he respects.

@jd6331 3 жыл бұрын

Did you get (back) together or move on?

@brago1997 2 жыл бұрын

how are you going now ?

@sffce4952 4 жыл бұрын

Matthew you're always so enlightening, it's nice to see things from another prospective...i'm just doing my best with what i have. Thank you for your work❤️ take care

@kiaramartinez9750 Жыл бұрын

Wow Matthew, I feel like you spoke right to me, "Maybe it was the best you could do at the time" is exactly what I needed to hear!! Thank you!

@tess7798 2 жыл бұрын

This video made me cry. I needed to hear that ‘the right relationship is not brittle’. I subscribed.

@angelalacaprucia9407 3 жыл бұрын

That was sincerely one of your best videos ever, and I love all your videos & the messages you send! Your words are often life changing for me, and this was one of those times. I didn’t realize just how much I needed to hear this. Thank you for all that you do, and bring to people everyday!

@oscarwilliamson1264 3 жыл бұрын

Angela Lacaprucia,you got a smile 😊 that can make the news

@farheen9986 3 жыл бұрын

This video is my healer , I'm on repeat mode multiple times a day , this gives me a clear idea of where I am what I am. Thank you Mathew

@jo-pj3rf 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you!!! This is what I needed to hear. I was in a relationship for only a month we were together everyday practically hot hot and heavy in the beginning and was just head over heels for each other and then when his life started to get busier with opening up his business, he started to push away. I felt it I sensed it but I was putting it on the back burner. I was there supporting him being there for him, and I didn’t want to say anything to stress him even more. When I did once he clearly showed me and said to me that he doesn’t want to hear that stuff because he has so much going on with him that will stress him out. He is happy where things are at with us. But I wasn’t. The reason being I did have some insecurities within myself of our relationship and all I wanted was to get that reassurance, but he knocked that down and made me feel worse for even mentioning it. Anywaysss there is way more to the story for just being with him only one month, BUT I concluded I wasn’t being myself. I was walking on eggshells so I wouldn’t cause a breakup. And when I knew this I cried so much because I didn’t want to let him go. That insecurity i was talking about earlier, well didn’t exactly come to the best of me, but I sensed there was a third party involved- and well , kind and kinda wasn’t. This is why I said long story but, what made me stop and think am I worth it all along for the one month I was with him, proved it with the day of our breakup. He chose the third party over me.

@snakegaming764 2 жыл бұрын

Just made me sit here and just go wow and nod my head. I needed to hear this! I really did do my best at the time I mean I cared about how she felt so much I lost myself in the relationship. And it took me the break up to realize just how much of myself I had lost.

@ashikhanassar3577 3 жыл бұрын

So far...this is the greatest work you have presented to the world. You have grown with the us too...lets all hold hands and uplift each other for the better. God bless you and your team for the good work you put through.

@kyleoliver5763 Жыл бұрын

This is great work amazing coming from a wise man

@opjade 4 жыл бұрын

" The RIGHT relationship isn't brittle " 💕

@prug2177 2 жыл бұрын

The right relationship isn’t brittle… Thank you for saying it - that is immeasurable… 🙏

@thunderlifestudios 2 жыл бұрын

Amen I tolerated a lot of bad things and worked through some at times while others never improved even of my own things. And I never let go and always tried.

@deedeemccue5363 4 жыл бұрын

This is so heartwarming. It brought tears to my eyes. God bless you Matthew. Let love reign. 🙏🏽😌

@Yeodoongiiie 4 жыл бұрын

Honestly i am Living for this Matthew. I feel like you’ve become so much more sensitive and intuitive lately Matthew. You’ve really touched my heart in this video. The way you speak really makes people feel. Thank you so much and I hope you feel loved and safe and content in your daily life sweet Matt. :)

@sweetielim1789 4 жыл бұрын

@StunningTransformations 2 жыл бұрын

You never fail. This brought me so much PEACE. Love is stronger than a horrible fight. Love isn't brittle. So much greatness in this. ❤

@kyleoliver5763 Жыл бұрын

Love is beautiful my dear 😊

@almaandfriends1247 Жыл бұрын

This videos is a replay of my life. I was with a narcissist for 34 years. Starting over at age 52. Thank you Mathew this wonderful video.

@godsplan7726 4 жыл бұрын

You make the world a better place just by being in it.. Your emotional intelligence is the best part of you.. U r the most valuable person in the world..

@karlaroman5258 3 жыл бұрын

Thank you for this. I needed a reminder that ending my marriage was a good decision

@bu3b00d Жыл бұрын

Matthew, I randomly found your video and I deeply appreciate you for it.I have been dealing with a hear-breaking separation for a long time now and it had been killing me ever since. What I suffer from the most is the " what if .." thoughts which lead to endless negative scenarios that hinder the healing process and moving on. However, your words defiantly helped a bit. I for sure going to come to this video again in case I was feeling down because of the break up and needed to reminder. Thank you very much.

@Afternoon99 Жыл бұрын

This video makes me start to move on mentally and hurt less. I pray for myself to be completely happy again soon

@Afternoon99 Жыл бұрын

But why am I crying about it today lmao 😂😭

@BluezConcepts 4 жыл бұрын

I've never been in a relationship but this helped me stop actually searching for one desperately. If it's meant to be its meant to be and it'll work itself out. No need to force anything. Thanks!

@elinesschuunga4414 2 жыл бұрын

we are both looking 😂😂😂😂

@fishcanon8141 4 жыл бұрын

Even though Matthew’s videos do make me feel good hearing his messages. But I feel he kinda creates this nebulous idea of “right relationship”. Things aren’t always black and white. Even the most perfect relationships could be brittle at times.

@valeriab-6126 3 жыл бұрын

True

@basednwhitepilld 2 жыл бұрын

Yes but they won't leave. You may argue but the other person will always be willing to work it out.

@najwaaqilah8396 Жыл бұрын

Point number two just hits so hard. I've always been told again and again that what I did for them is not enough. And I'm still trying to do my best proving its my best