Funniest Things Kids Say To Parents (FUNNY TWEETS)

Funniest Things Kids Say To Parents (FUNNY TWEETS) | Alonzo Lerone

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Official “Funniest Things Kids Say To Parents” video by Alonzo Lerone.
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Welcome to the official KZfaq channel of comedian/entertainer Alonzo Lerone. Looking for comedy, or just a good laugh? You’re in luck! On this channel, you’ll find a variety of fail compilations showcasing the internet’s funniest and dumbest fails curated by Alonzo Lerone from Twitter, Facebook, advertisements, and much more.
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Пікірлер: 2 600

@alonzo 5 жыл бұрын

what was the weirdest thing your kid asked? lol. I wanna read them. I be bored sometimes

@morgan8l233 5 жыл бұрын

Alonzo Lerone can you do another weirdest kids test answers or detention slip video please

@themeilongcuber307 5 жыл бұрын

Put coccunt oil on your bald spot

@brite007 5 жыл бұрын

Alonzo Lerone love the videos but most of the memes are old

@izabelladiaz8718 5 жыл бұрын

I don't have kids, Alonzo.....

@izabelladiaz8718 5 жыл бұрын

@@laogkety2844 ew....stop

@nolancollins0223 5 жыл бұрын

When I was 9 I got grounded for telling my teacher that her hairline went further back than slavery

@jacrispy3275 5 жыл бұрын

Genius.

@patriciamckinley5449 5 жыл бұрын

No you didn't

@aklistorres6901 5 жыл бұрын

Omg 😮

@xiamariansupreme72 5 жыл бұрын

LMFAOOOO!

@icyivy5204 5 жыл бұрын

Idc if this is real or not this is the funniest thing I’ve read today😂

@Cay_dab 5 жыл бұрын

“That kId is going places, unlike my bald spot” 😭😭😭

@Kimberly-fc6ns 3 жыл бұрын

😭😭🙈🥴

@user-yf1lf7yo2d 5 жыл бұрын

Child: *says something slightly offensive* Alonzo: SLAP IT

@onlyonemitch5049 4 жыл бұрын

He's clearly not a dad. He doesn't have the patience of one😂

@QueenofWheels 4 жыл бұрын

He is so not ready for kids.

@MrLee64 4 жыл бұрын

What do you mean guys? He'd make a great dad 😂

@yes-sp1xe 4 жыл бұрын

Lol 500th like

@LogShaw1587 Жыл бұрын

@@QueenofWheels "."

@sirenaxgarcia7861 5 жыл бұрын

Alonzo read "what if we put a SLICE of Turkey in the DVD player" Alonzo: "a WHOLE turkey!?!"

@ethancooper3599 4 жыл бұрын

Because he said it will it's WHOLE life

@mamanjie7933 5 жыл бұрын

“HE CALLED ME FAT. He looked me up and down like he wasn’t shorter than me and he called me fat!” 😂

@shaysbeauties6094 5 жыл бұрын

Sugar And spice 😭

@ethancooper3599 5 жыл бұрын

"I visioned myself just slappin' himself across that gymnasium" 😂

@fakejesus3133 5 жыл бұрын

The fact that I’m a 23 year old woman relating to kids has me in my feelings😐🙌🏼

@tayajohnston6297 5 жыл бұрын

Elle’s Woodlock same 😂😂

@thatonekid5107 5 жыл бұрын

It's sad that you refired to a drake song because I'm 11

@fakejesus3133 5 жыл бұрын

Abigail Brown W-What?

@tifana_._2744 4 жыл бұрын

cash: barks Alonzo : he is probably barking at a leaf 😂😂

@auroraortuno9761 4 жыл бұрын

😂😂😂

@danorycastellanosreyes1097 4 жыл бұрын

Yoooo that had me weak 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

@ruthcaperchione4103 4 жыл бұрын

My brother's dog barks at leaves. And snowman. And toddlers on tricycles. Falling snow, school children, baby birds. Yeah, she's kinda dumb

@MrGetty-kh1ch 4 жыл бұрын

Ruth Caperchione Bruh

@MrGetty-kh1ch 4 жыл бұрын

Ruth Caperchione you think your dog is dumb?

@FlutterMouse 5 жыл бұрын

I think James Breakwell has 4 daughters. He's a writer so most of his posts are jokes about his wife and kids.

@TracyAlfred4548 5 жыл бұрын

He also has like 2 pigs i think lol.

@gracecomeau2572 4 жыл бұрын

I think one of his posts said he has 4 daughters

@tomnkorea 5 жыл бұрын

“See Kash that could’ve been funnier if you had stopped barking” “ProBaBLy BarKInG aT A lEaf” 😂😂😂😂

@bssquad1316 5 жыл бұрын

Alexis Underwood never laughed so hard in my life 😂

@kiahcarberry6034 5 жыл бұрын

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Never laughed so hard....my stomach hurts lol

@rhosaliegalenzuga6198 5 жыл бұрын

I paused the video and search the comment section for this. 😂😂😂 I knew that was the funniest part 😂😂

@Dextrie_myers 5 жыл бұрын

Today my father whispering: omg that lady wig is on wrong my little brother yelling : maaaaam your wig backwards 😭😭😭😭

@anonymous475 5 жыл бұрын

Oh gosh, what did she say/do? 😂

@kittyfox7 5 жыл бұрын

I would die laughing. My nephew was saying fresh off the boat around people that weren’t native to the US. It was bad

@Dextrie_myers 5 жыл бұрын

A greeter went to the lady to fix it...but tbh the wig looked better backwards

@umeinui 5 жыл бұрын

This reminds me of the time when a cousin and I had to go to the bathroom, we had to take my very young nephew with us since the adults were busy getting more food in the buffet line and told us if we get up he goes with us. At first everything was cool, I didnt need to go so i just waited for my cousin. My nephew started out asleep in my arms but he was kinda heavy since i was pretty small as a teen. I ended up struggling with him too much and woke him. So I put him down to stand beside me, holding his hand even tho he silently protested at first trying to free his hand but gave in quickly. At first things were cool as he slowly woke up and wasnt saying much. But then some lady comes out a stall and immediately says "shes cute" and hes like "uh uh ma'am I'm a boy, I'm handsome" she laughed and apologized. i smiled out of slight embarrassment. But this exchange woke him up completely so now hes alert. My cousin finishes and we walk out as were walking to our table my nephew randomly blurts out "Ew that lady's dress is so UUuuugly. Why is she wearing that?" I said "Hey thats rude. Maybe she likes it" and he replies in a louder voice "No way!! Its so ugly, look at it! No! Look auntie!! Auntie, you see it?" And i swear its like the more i tried to ignore him the louder he got to the point a few people AND the lady he was talking about turned looked at us 😩

@shawndoristin6084 5 жыл бұрын

nakela vanakua 😂😂😂😂

@amberwillow5782 5 жыл бұрын

My 3 year old cried for 20 minutes because I wouldn't let him sit in the oven with the pizza & told me I was the "meanest mom ever". 🤣

@kelseenicole8988 4 жыл бұрын

My son , whom is 3 and I had a lovely conversation a while back . Him: can we get in the pool? Me: no , not right now . Him: why not . Me: because it needs to be cleaned and I don’t feel like doing it right now love . Maybe later . Him: I’ll snatch yo wig off . 😐 I legit cried laughing .

@andreaa3947 4 жыл бұрын

My God you killed me!!!

@rae-raetheturtledemon. 4 жыл бұрын

I'll snatch yo wig off?

@blueedreamsx 2 жыл бұрын

Avee maria 💀💀😭😭😭

@aseyesrigboh 5 жыл бұрын

I died when he said Kash was probably barking at a leaf 😭💀

@kittyfox7 5 жыл бұрын

Aseye Srigboh me too! I was dying

@willowsverge3046 5 жыл бұрын

We had two dogs that got so scared they ran out of the kitchen if you poured elbow macaroni into the pot! Funniest thing ever! The whole family gathered in the kitchen to see them go. Rofl

@parmeiladhevi8602 5 жыл бұрын

Aseye Srigboh I was eating my dinner, almost chocked and died.

@Fiveestarr.dr1zzyy 5 жыл бұрын

I read the comment as soon as he said it lmao

@dulce.azurine1271 5 жыл бұрын

My dog barks at her own reflection

@Chimichinking 5 жыл бұрын

In the car. Daughter: can you turn on the fridge? Me: the refrigerator is always on Her: no, I meant this fridge SHE MEANT THE AC 😂

@anonymous475 5 жыл бұрын

I probably would pee myself after hearing that 😂

@pundertalefan4391 5 жыл бұрын

Rock Star That's adorable. :03

@MidnightBitesCarly 5 жыл бұрын

Rock Star awwwwwwww

@reverie291 5 жыл бұрын

Rock Star Lol

@vjackson96 4 жыл бұрын

Awww bless her cute little heart ❤️

@bssquad1316 5 жыл бұрын

“SUN...GET HER” I cannot breath 😂😭

@jadefording5103 5 жыл бұрын

my 5 y/o sister: *cries because tablet is broken* me: you don’t need a tablet, YOU ARE FIVE sister: I NEED IT TO LIVE me: AHAHA MOM LISTEN TO WHAT SHE JUST SAID

@onlyonemitch5049 4 жыл бұрын

I mean like yeah. Kids don't go out as much anymore. They're whole childhood is dependent on the digital world

@realshitdeathtrap 4 жыл бұрын

G.B. The Green-Cheeked Conure I got a phone when I was 1 and I legit knew how to use it

@hannahr8206 4 жыл бұрын

My stepsister has spent 16 hours on her tablet before and I dont know how she has the patience. Like ya I'm on my phone alot but I'm always reading or texting my friends. She literally just spends all day playing games, I dont know how. I would get so bored of just playing games

@roseepretter1545 4 жыл бұрын

Jade Fording omg same

@krysm2022 4 жыл бұрын

Only One MITCH! Yeah......

@jhaniyalincifort7881 5 жыл бұрын

Alonzo: "I almost swallowed my tongue" Me: "How is that physically possible"😂😂😂

@willowsverge3046 5 жыл бұрын

Unfortunately you can choke on your own tongue. If someones having a seizure, roll them on their side really fast to help prevent that from happening.

@pundertalefan4391 5 жыл бұрын

I heard it almost happened to a football player.

@shayjohnson4981 5 жыл бұрын

.me: *stupidly trying to swallow tongue* 🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️

@wegrewthatvegancrapinhorse8188 5 жыл бұрын

turkey DVD 😂😂😂😂

@haileylancaster6862 5 жыл бұрын

My neighbor can. He doesnt have the weird thing under his tongue that connects it to the bottom of his mouth

@rhondaengelauf-allen7177 5 жыл бұрын

Alopecia... Alopecia areata occurs when the immune system attacks hair follicles, and may be brought on by severe stress

@hurricanehubbs9459 5 жыл бұрын

😗😯😬

@roxcyn 5 жыл бұрын

Minoxidil may help him.

@ocean_sapphire 5 жыл бұрын

I read that there are ways to help it, but there aren't any cures. If it's causing you problems, I'd talk to your doctor to see what they suggest.

@alexxC37 5 жыл бұрын

roxcyn yep, i’m using it. It’s good. 😊👍

@kristin2798 5 жыл бұрын

Just realized I have family members with alopecia.... so does my husband....good luck kids 😳😬😞

@tyeshadouglas7875 4 жыл бұрын

The other day my son asked me: Mama you got money? Me: yeah My son: oh because I feel like you broke Lol all I could do was laugh lol

@PrincessAfrica3 3 жыл бұрын

😂😂😂😂😂

@TuRnBaCkTiMe93 5 жыл бұрын

Alonzo: “I don’t know how to spell it.” Me: “Get a dictionary.......oh wait!” 😂

@michellemccloy823 4 жыл бұрын

Hah! That was my thought too!! Rewind to the intro of the video..lol

@oliviayost3830 4 жыл бұрын

Oh I get it

@Givemeyomoney12 5 жыл бұрын

Y’all ever realize when Alonzo starts talking he goes forward in his chair 😂

@j_e_s_s_e7761 5 жыл бұрын

Somebody should start a Go Fund Me for Alonzo’s bald spot. 😂😂

@TheCarnivoreSoprano 5 жыл бұрын

Lol!

@onlyusingthistocomment8763 5 жыл бұрын

I'm on it

@macydiy9697 5 жыл бұрын

@@onlyusingthistocomment8763 yes please do lol!!!?

@onlyusingthistocomment8763 5 жыл бұрын

@@macydiy9697 sorry for getting your hopes up i just was joking

@macydiy9697 5 жыл бұрын

@@onlyusingthistocomment8763 I now I just thote its funny!!!!!!!!😂😂😂😂

@mlilejay8698 5 жыл бұрын

ok, your daughter is NOT A MUFFIN. SHE'S NOT A CAKE!

@gracecomeau2572 4 жыл бұрын

Lianne Ilejay You’re right she isn’t..... SHE IS A BUN!!!!!

@aetheralmeowstic2392 4 жыл бұрын

Regarding the death of a toy in Toy Story: They have to make the choice to die. They basically have to be melted, burned, or, in the case of stuffed animals, ripped to shreds. They do not die any other way.

@elena-ug8vr 5 жыл бұрын

Am I the only one that heard him say “pee-guin” instead of penguin??? 1:58

@lizetelliott1443 5 жыл бұрын

Yes and I was hoping he would corrected the second time he said it but I don't think he did 😂🤣

@tosinakin2508 4 жыл бұрын

He actually said penguin. He pronounced the syllable as peen- instead of pen-, probably due to his accent.

@kelcee_krieg0268 4 жыл бұрын

World of Pink YES! Wth is a peeguin 😭😂😭😂

@ryangemellaro2856 4 жыл бұрын

Tosin Akin Where Is He From??🤔🧐

@arizona_ranger__804 4 жыл бұрын

Ryan Gemellaro North Carolina, I think

@lacrymosarosewolf5948 5 жыл бұрын

James has four daughters and he is pretty famous for it. Has two books and everything lol.

@PurpleDragonair 5 жыл бұрын

He also has two pigs that he's pretty proud of.

@mikip282 5 жыл бұрын

Oh boy, I feel bad for him. Wait until they start their periods. All of his tweets are gonna be about him hiding in his room from his little demons every month.

@zak3172 5 жыл бұрын

@@mikip282 my mum can barely deal with 2 out of 5 girls having their periods...idk how he's gonna deal with 4 around the same time (There's an age gap between the 2 of us and the other 3 so she's not got 5 at once)

@bri8396 5 жыл бұрын

Alonzo: "I almost swallowed my tongue" Alonzo: "Can y'all just imagine the kid just on the couch saying "cOmE tO mE cOoKiEs"

@faithconde8200 4 жыл бұрын

Brii's Life I died and was resurrected at that 😂

@temirawhite5272 5 жыл бұрын

I can’t, when he started yellin at Cash, I lost it

@KK-un7jb 4 жыл бұрын

Temira White that’s his dog not yours.. he can do whatever he wants

@lucidb-c-l1635 4 жыл бұрын

K K ? He was just saying that they thought it was funny when he called the dogs name?

@blueedreamsx 2 жыл бұрын

Kash *

@CooperAATE 5 жыл бұрын

At age 5, on 1994, I walked up to my mom: You're Santa. "Why do you say that?" We don't have a chimney he can use... "That means he used the front door, baby." GRANDMA AIN'T LETTING NO WHITE MAN IN THE HOUSE AT NIGHT "... okay, I'm Santa." Oh, okay. *walks away immediately*

@myrakawilliams1666 5 жыл бұрын

😂😂😂😂😂 your grandma is hilarious

@aarynjohnson3228 5 жыл бұрын

ahh😂 GRANDMA AINT GETTIN UP PERIOD. Idc if the guy is white or black i wouldn’t get up either

@sarahboyle9283 5 жыл бұрын

My mum used to tell me that one of his elves gets in through the lock, gets the key and opens the door for him.

@Angie...... 5 жыл бұрын

well in my place it doesnt snow because is a tropical island, so we don't have chimneys. My mom said that Santa had a special powder that he put on himself to make him tiny to fit in every single place.

@izsakvidor 5 жыл бұрын

AngeAle Bassist same, cuz when I lived in apartments and stuff like that she said that Santa did yhay

@alinaangelikova2122 5 жыл бұрын

Alopecia tips: Try to relax and be as stress-free as much as possible. Biotin will be your best friend, if it doesn't break you out. Keep your head out of a sun (wear a cap,hat,hoodie, etc.)

@endritaz6402 5 жыл бұрын

Thank you very much. I have Alopecia too.❤️🤧

@trailerparkchief 5 жыл бұрын

"keep your head out of a sun"... As if we had more suns?

@saadiawilliams 5 жыл бұрын

@@endritaz6402 jamaican black castor oil helps a lot

@endritaz6402 5 жыл бұрын

sasw111 sasw111 Thank you. I will try it❤️

@zak3172 5 жыл бұрын

I had alopecia due to low vitamin d levels...so get a blood test, u may need medication

@mochi7226 5 жыл бұрын

"I don't know if she likes pancakes probably" Same kid

@ChaquataThomas 5 жыл бұрын

How many kids you have James? Bless your heart 💜😂

@lucyorel 4 жыл бұрын

He has 4 lol

@dreduffy9586 5 жыл бұрын

Me: takes off my wig My 2yo: put your wig back on Me :😳 2 yo: put it on

@nene2210 5 жыл бұрын

😂😂

@shyannemcbride7764 5 жыл бұрын

I was in my science class and I looked straight at the turtle and said "look at the weird looking frog" 🤦🏼‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

@TRRBLPRSN 4 жыл бұрын

When I was 11 I asked my mom.... 11: Mom? Mom: Yes? 11: Were you alive when Beetoven was? Mom: . . . . 11: Oh wait....

@kaylawolfie1111 4 жыл бұрын

I can not breathe

@goofballcartoonist7848 4 жыл бұрын

it's *BEETHOVEN please, get it right...

@krysm2022 4 жыл бұрын

goofballCartoonist It’s fine.

@laneymccaleb7598 4 жыл бұрын

So I had a picture of two girls hugging on my phone and a 7 year old saw it and screamed LESBIANS 😂😂 I started dying of laughter 😂

@lindaloreign9346 4 жыл бұрын

Laney Mccaleb HAHAHAHA!!! 😅💖❤️🏳️‍🌈

@lanaboo5701 5 жыл бұрын

It's 1:24am...watching this while my fiancee is asleep...laughing into my pillow!

@largechicken7662 5 жыл бұрын

Lana Boo yes

@sarahf7931 5 жыл бұрын

Lol! Yes i do this too!!

@mixobro1498 5 жыл бұрын

Lana Boo for me it’s 5:00

@darknightmike10yearsago 5 жыл бұрын

OMG, same!!! It's exactly 1:24 AM right now for me too!

@amymandeville8342 5 жыл бұрын

I was laughing so hard at these that my Mom came into the room and asked me what was going on. She ended up watching with me and laughing as much as I was. Thanks for making an 82 year old lady laugh!

@lylagriswold7234 4 жыл бұрын

“i almost swallowed my tongue” 👏

@Alexandra-me3sg 5 жыл бұрын

I remember still today when my sister fell off her skates, she said her teeth were sharper and she could bite me. She was 9 that day XD 😂🤣

@xrockfairyx 5 жыл бұрын

For Alopecia use Nutiva Organic, Cold-Pressed, Unrefined Hemp Seed Oil. Rub it on the scalp with the hair loss. My nephew started losing hair at the young age of 2yrs old. After a few years he was fully bald. They started issuing this on him scalp. Massage it in. His hair is growing back.

@kaedenballesteros8171 5 жыл бұрын

Alonzo: *Laughter sounds like tea* People out there: Oh my tea is ready! Also people: Oh no wait thats Alonzo

@jadekidd3929 4 жыл бұрын

He looked me up and down like he wasn’t shorter than me🤣🤣

@katereniataylor6182 5 жыл бұрын

Nephew :we learned about dinosaurs today Me: really? Which one is ur favorite? Nephew: a t-rex u remember them right

@ItsNomii 5 жыл бұрын

Nobody: Alonzo’s forehead: *shine bright like a diamondddd* Lmfaooo I’m sorry I love you ❤️😭😭😭

@opiumm1091 5 жыл бұрын

Omg roflmao 😂😂😂😂❤

@indiajade904 4 жыл бұрын

I’m an adult but I went in the store the other day and got really excited over this pretty pumpkin cookie jar and I yelled “PRETTY PENGUIN” I felt so damn dumb

@cassidymoreira2600 4 жыл бұрын

Don't worry we all have those moments lol.

@avademeter770 4 жыл бұрын

8:18 I laughted so much. My dogs bark at nothing all the time

@AirbenderHawk 5 жыл бұрын

LMAO!!! Y’all already know it’s literally hilarious when Alonzo starts to read funny tweets, like this for example, this guy never failed to make my day.

@dollsandmilk 5 жыл бұрын

Alopecia Areata: "Sudden hair loss that starts with one or more circular bald patches that may overlap. Alopecia areata occurs when the immune system attacks hair follicles, and may be brought on by severe stress." DESTRESS, DUDE

@Katerina-xf3gj 5 жыл бұрын

I'm surprised I'm not going bald 😂🤦

@leshayenga5779 3 жыл бұрын

“ don’t pressure me I’m still deciding.” 😂

@Alexandra-me3sg 5 жыл бұрын

Basiclly when she fell, it was on a hill. And she said it was my fault for convincing her to go down the hills🤣🤣🤣

@mavericklynn6964 5 жыл бұрын

When Alonzo said *COME TO ME COOKIES* I LAUGHED SO HARD 😂

@Enrepufied 5 жыл бұрын

No One: Literally No One: Alonzo: “I might slap that kid” or “See I’d smack that kid” or “I’d slap that 6 yo to sleep”

@jannetalvarez5365 5 жыл бұрын

It ain't just Alonzo, that's all Mexican people.

@radioactive_baby0706 4 жыл бұрын

@@jannetalvarez5365 Its not just Alonzo or Mexican people. Its black people too 😂

@DoctorWhoKage 4 жыл бұрын

@@radioactive_baby0706 Hell, any culture that ain't white wanna slap their kids around like a fight between Batman and Scarface. 😂

@parmeiladhevi8602 4 жыл бұрын

Indian or brown parents would smack WHILE YOU’RE IN YOUR BED. That way you can cry yourself to sleep. 😂😂😂

@radioactive_baby0706 4 жыл бұрын

@@parmeiladhevi8602 Then they tell you not to cry or they'll give you something to cry about 😂

@jgrasso1219 5 жыл бұрын

I actually did the tooth fairy experiment once, lmao 😂

@kiranicole4329 4 жыл бұрын

I woke up bc my mom picked my head up to put the money under the pillow

@brain_alotl9556 4 жыл бұрын

I did it as well. Except after I told my parents that I lost a tooth they forgot for like a week and they tried to convince me it was just too windy for a fairy to fly to my house.

@marcianicole613 4 жыл бұрын

“Probably barking at a leaf” I swear😂

@jaxt.seiren6417 5 жыл бұрын

JAMAICAN BLACK CASTOR OIL!! You're welcome! 👍🏾👍🏾

@WavasWay 5 жыл бұрын

Me: (doing my son's hair) Please be still My Son: I can't because your legs are scratchy Me :😑😑 (mental note..buy razors)

@pundertalefan4391 5 жыл бұрын

XD I'm sorry.

@user-nt7ew9di7v 5 жыл бұрын

I used to do that to my mom

@cucchimorrisonnothelfer5794 5 жыл бұрын

Wava's Way sounds like my sisters future (she’s got a 2 year old)

@80sGamerLady 5 жыл бұрын

Hi, my husband gets those spots. It's triggered from stress. You can make the hair grow back by getting some Rogaine or off-brand and apply to balding spot. It helps regenerate hair back.

@neena-blue3724 5 жыл бұрын

Nobody: Alonzo: “tHaT cHiLd iS gOnE gEt sLaPpEd” Lmao love him

@iliuno 5 жыл бұрын

That bald spot is ashier than my elbows😂 Put some oil on it

@iliuno 5 жыл бұрын

Alex tea tree oil, argan oil, castor oil. Anything‼️

@KK-un7jb 4 жыл бұрын

One head you will go bald. So don’t talk shit

@ymirhex4668 5 жыл бұрын

"Awe look, cute bird." 😭😭💀

@alwaysjax1116 5 жыл бұрын

I know how to handle the bald spot Sharpie

@jasminecole1222 5 жыл бұрын

James has 4 girls but they get older every year lol Would you ever have kids?

@NuclearDarkvoid 5 жыл бұрын

2:43 Killed me Smacking a kid so hard he’d go flying across the gymnasium

@wuhva1642 4 жыл бұрын

I got grounded for telling my teacher that she needed some milk

@The_Mortician. 4 жыл бұрын

"I almost swallowed my tongue" KILLED ME.

@petitelarceny6719 5 жыл бұрын

James/ Xploding Unicorn Has 4 daughters and 2 pigs according to his page . LMAO

@rko32491 5 жыл бұрын

For your alopecia, try biotin (supplement) or jamaican black caster oil (hair product)

@haileysmith2906 4 жыл бұрын

Kid: Throws toy at my head Me: You need to say sorry Kid: Me: Kid: Me: right you can’t talk, give me a hug then. Kid: leans in and screams in my ear.

@_mochiko_6306 5 жыл бұрын

Kids these days can't live without technology these days, My cousin came over and then she said...... "What the Wi-Fi password Me: We don't have internet but we have movies she said 7 yo: Ugh it's so old here I WANT TO GO HOME Me: Sorry does not work like that 👇🏽☺

@darkmya19 5 жыл бұрын

Kim_Tae_ Oppa 😂

@_mochiko_6306 5 жыл бұрын

@@darkmya19 I know lol

@christineseely7657 5 жыл бұрын

I get, my cuz does the same.

@_mochiko_6306 5 жыл бұрын

That's so sad how our people are the same smh

@forgetful_insomniac 4 жыл бұрын

@@_mochiko_6306 I am so sorry but I am crying from laughing at her response

@ShadeAnimates 5 жыл бұрын

Lmao. Alonzo you get me through some of my hardest times,and you always manage to put a smile on my face, without you I'd be so lost. So I wanted to thank you for everything you do. Keep up the comedy!

@FrankieP. 5 жыл бұрын

"Why do you always wear the same tatoos?" XD XD XD

@ItalyHastaLaPasta 5 жыл бұрын

You dont change your tattoos every day? :p

@zoeystarr7421 5 жыл бұрын

Tattoos don’t come off unless it’s temporary. His is real u can’t change yo tattoo u dumb fuck 😂

@jacrispy3275 5 жыл бұрын

@@zoeystarr7421 - R/wooooosh

@wdwislife1268 5 жыл бұрын

@@zoeystarr7421 .....😐🔫

@artisticalex1206 5 жыл бұрын

@@zoeystarr7421 lol a kid wouldn't know unless if the parents explained

@jasmineperez702 5 жыл бұрын

I'm hispanic and my friends daughter (they're white) asked me if I knew how to read English lol

@klnskyrsn 4 жыл бұрын

“What do you want to be for Halloween?” “Asleep” Me too, kid. Me, too.

@mariacastaneda640 5 жыл бұрын

How y’all commenting like 30 minutes before I got the notification 😂😂😂

@pariscrooks2850 5 жыл бұрын

There was a live preshow q&a

@rickygarcia4321 5 жыл бұрын

My son is 8 and he says that he is in love...I told him "don't take advice from me, that's why me and your mom ain't together" he said "I know, I'm not asking for advice, I'm just telling you I might move out"

@han05426 4 жыл бұрын

“Proberly barking at a leaf” 😂😂

@kristimatthews713 4 жыл бұрын

Watching tv with my six year old son when a black and white commercial comes on. Son: mom when you were my age did you see in black and white? Me: how old do you think i am? Without missing a beat... Son: 92 Me:...thanks kiddo. I was 32.

@ElegantButlerSeb 5 жыл бұрын

Why is the definition of Dictionary in the bloody Dictionary?

@davesdatasystems 5 жыл бұрын

Well because.... I don't have a answer to this.

@thekippster4749 5 жыл бұрын

It didn't want to be left out.

@cairrean2412 5 жыл бұрын

It wouldn't be a complete dictionary if it didn't have the definition of itself.

@ElegantButlerSeb 5 жыл бұрын

@@cairrean2412 The definition SHOULD read "see the book you're holding".

@nataushaharsh6295 5 жыл бұрын

Liked the video before watching it cause I already know that it’s gonna be great!!!!!!! 😇😇

@holliebelle5883 5 жыл бұрын

Lol me too! These videos are always the highlight of my day!!😊

@cameron-fu9jy 5 жыл бұрын

Same bro

@jimyee2629 5 жыл бұрын

Same bro same

@kellur_vu9282 5 жыл бұрын

get a dictionary

@jimyee2629 5 жыл бұрын

@@kellur_vu9282 ok but I no have MONEY my mom has but she at work right now=(

@tiara9508 4 жыл бұрын

"Probably barking at a leaf" that was the funniest thing in this whole video😂😂

@nuagenyselourens2385 5 жыл бұрын

One time when i was 9 I got grounded for screaming at a teacher "pff what dummy is gone bring there child back to slavery here"

@carpetshorts3207 5 жыл бұрын

Yesterday when I was in the store a little girl was shouting at a poster stop looking at me I guess she had enough because she then kicking it and I was dying of laughter 🤣🤣🤦‍♀️GOD PLZ SEND HELP

@juicykay3609 5 жыл бұрын

Alsooo 😂 1 year old son: *holds his feet up* Me: *kisses his toes* 1 year old: “ewwww”

@anonymous475 5 жыл бұрын

My siblings would do this when a dog licked their foot 😂

@ordianry26 4 жыл бұрын

My sister was cooking dinner for her sons, her youngest said " mom it smells like hot dogs and garbage" She was making pasta..

@c0smecc 5 жыл бұрын

everyone over here worried about Danielle cohn and cameron boyce (rip

@sothisispermanence1898 5 жыл бұрын

When I was in second grade, my “boyfriend” and I planned to get married and live in a tent next to the school so we wouldn’t be late each morning... 😹😹😹 ...then we “broke up” and I was afraid he was going to steal the feathers from my hair (the roach clip thingies) and give them to his new “girlfriend” so I would cover them every time he walked by. 2nd graders are crazy mature! 😹

@dsmi6434 5 жыл бұрын

People are assuming that that really is Kash being arrested in that picture you posted on IG. 😂 I didn't know cash was bilingual

@CJ-xf1in 5 жыл бұрын

D Smi that was Kash?? 😳🧐

@imogenbrown7763 4 жыл бұрын

I was walking my dog with my mum when I was younger. There was a kid. Like 4-5. He shouted out: LOOK DONKEY! and pointed towards us. I said: hey there, it's not a donkey it's a dog. (I have a miniature long haired sausage dog, he cute but his breath stank) Then he looked me in the eyes and just said: no. I meant you. *Let me tell you something. LET ME TELL YOU. I'VE NEVER SEEN A MOTHER GO SO RED, WITH A MORTIFIED LOOK LIKE THAT. I WAS LIKE DAAAMMNNN, SHE APPOLOGIZED HURRIED HER SON AWAY AND SPANKED HIM. IVE NEVER LAUGHED MORE IN MY LIFE😂😂😂I hope to god I meet this kid in the future, but sis y'all already know I nearly slapped the shit out of him...I didn't tho....😢😂😂😂😂😂*

@roses_are_rosies1757 4 жыл бұрын

My dog, Emmit, was sitting next to me when Cash started barking. He looked super confused. BTW I live your channel.

@mollyerika7350 5 жыл бұрын

This is the earliest I've ever been!! I love your channel Alonzo!!

@Animegirls47 5 жыл бұрын

I don't know why I laughed so hard during this entire video🤣🤣 James you are gold

@peacehardly6766 5 жыл бұрын

The TOY STORY one hit me different 😂😂😂

@shaylinfarris1462 4 жыл бұрын

7:46. She could line them all up in a row and slap them all at once

@redgaming1066 5 жыл бұрын

😂😂😂 it's funny that Alonzo believes in ghost and witches

@alexanderperez7604 5 жыл бұрын

Hahaha

@chibigeektv290 5 жыл бұрын

Red gaming I can’t say much for Ghosts but witches are real, meaning people who practice witchcraft, Wicca, and Paganism. So yes, witches are technically real.

@CJ-xf1in 5 жыл бұрын

But.... they ARE real.... *blink blink blink blink*

@BurntToast95 5 жыл бұрын

@@chibigeektv290 YES. Matter of fact, I'm pagan/wiccan. Granted its not like what they show in movies and such. 😂

@chibigeektv290 5 жыл бұрын

Burnt Toast same here. I switched to Pagan and my mother and I practice witchcraft sometimes. Not always together but we still do.

@michalamaha8381 4 жыл бұрын

Alonzo was about to cry when saying the kid called him fat lmao

@catherineharman9567 4 жыл бұрын

When my youngest daughter, Anna, went to meet her preschool teacher before the school year started, she made the funniest observation. Her preschool teacher was maybe 5 foot tall at best. After greeting her teacher, I asked my daughter if she wanted to sit at the table to talk to her teacher. With a serious look on her face, she pointed at the teacher and said "I will when that little girl moves."

@catherineharman9567 4 жыл бұрын

Also, when she was in kindergarten, the teacher had all of the children coloring pictures and was walking around observing them. When she got to my daughter, she said "What a pretty picture.:" Anna looked up at her and said "Ok, I will just pee my pants and then actually peed." I laughed all the way to the school to bring her clean panties and pants.