Pompey should have spread rumours that there was tons of buried gold right under all the cities he ever besieged! His sappers would set the world record every time.

Never underestimate the boredom of a soldier. Some of the best phalluses I have ever seen drawn were in a porta-potty in the middle of nowhere.

Pompey: The general who would fight Caesar. Also Pompey: Alright go hunt for buried gold and ill make jokes abt you.

A whole series about the human side of the Roman War Machine? You sir, you had my curiosity. But now you have my attention

Reminds me of a story from I, Claudius. Claudius was a scholar and he wrote many books. One day he was giving a reading of his newest book to a small group of Roman noblemen, when in walked in the fattest Equite that Claudius had ever seen. The man then sat down on a chair, and instantly the chair crumbled into pieces and he fell on his butt. The expression on his face was such that Claudis burst out laughing. And he kept laughing until he was doubled up and writhing on the floor with tears streaming from his eyes, so uncontrolled was his laughter. His older brother Germanicus implored him to get a hold of himself and act with some dignity befitting a member of the imperial family, but Claudius failed and brought much shame to himself and his family.

Glory, peace, fame, money and women - some things indeed do never change

The third augusta poëtry club would make for an amazing comedy sketch/series. I would love to see such a thing.

Imagine how many stories have not been preserved 😂 waiting for part 2!

This videos only convince me more that a generation kill kinda series on the roman legionaries would be awesome xD

We hope you enjoyed this stray away from the typical heavy content of the channel. And let me tell you, the funniest stories are in part 2: kzfaq.info/get/bejne/d9CKgqWdmLfZmZ8.html

the fire pit part was literal toddler tier

Pompey of all people not getting mad at his troops but instead simply laughing his ass off at their futile digging. I could picture him setting off in a huff trying to find soldiers to make a disciplinary point out of but his anger turning into uncontrollable laughter.

In the immortal words of Gun Jesus: "soldiers will be soldiers." If soldiers get bored they will goof off. It's why you see videos of soldiers marching while singing "Baby Shark" or "I'm a Barbie girl," they get remarkably bored and get funny

Great little side scrape from your usual contend, and I assure you that segments like this are as much history to your pupils as the legions itself

That wasn't luck, that was a clever Carthagenian figuring out a way to get Rome to till the land for planting.

It should be aptly renamed "The greed of a Roman legionaire"

I was a professional soldier, it can be a harsh and difficult lifestyle. Soldiers have a great sense of humour. It's a valuable and necessary quality. Looking back, you always remember the funny things that happened in dangerous and unpleasant times.

It seems that if a city wanted to delay or hinder Roman take-overs, just gather valuables and toss them over the walls-in a specific location, thereby allowing successful escapes.

When I hung out with soldiers in camps and what not, and grew bored, I ended up building useless things from trash. So, over the course of a long eight hour "look busy" session, I built a crude chair, crude cover, and a crude roof out of the nearby sticks, and trees in the training area. No one else, but I used it, as they thought it looked crude. However, to the best of my knowledge, it still stands. For at the end of training, I heard the instructors argue about whether to leave it as is, or destroy it with explosives. Since I saw not a whiff of explosives outside of training grenade, I'm pretty sure it still there, in the woods of Washington State, with each new group of trainees gasping in horror at who created that thing.

One of my favorite chuckle-worthy stories I read in a book where even the author couldn't resist a jab at a less-creative legionnaire. Basically, we have the sling stones from when Octavian besieged Antony's wife and brother, Fulvia and Lucius, in Perusia. Octavian's soldiers would carve threats into the stones before sending over the wall, such as "Fulvia, I'm coming for your c**t," "Lucius' anus will belong to me" and (to quote the book "somewhat less intimidatingly") "Lucius is bald."

That soldiers poem is my favorite ever, specifically because it's so simply. No flowery bullshit he is a soldier goddammit

I would love to be enlightened about the logistics of supplies and trade routes at this time both in military campaigns and between cities. I would also like to understand better about the daily life of different social castes and if there was any flexibility between them. thanks for the excellent content!

This was just AMAZING😂😂😂, please sir may I have another.

Now I have the mental image of Pompey busting out a lawn chair and sitting down with some wine while enjoying the sight of thousands and thousands of treasure hunting Legionary's destroying the whole countryside and occasionally making a Nelson Muntz impersonation Also I am pretty sure that all the warts that the Legionary's got from days of digging did them no favors when they finally got into battle

i would love more stories !!

Pompey walking around, ripping on his dudes for their stupid treasure hunt...that's what true leadership looks like. What a lad.

6:15 - What interesting to note is just how badly Caesar was screwed by Avienus. Caesar was in an absolutely terrible position during that time. Just before the African Campaign, one of Caesar's legions mutinied, but came back into the fold following a heartfelt speech by Caesar. After this, Caesar had to start rushing and get to Africa ASAP with whatever legions were nearby. The rest would have to catch up. But, because they set off so quickly, they didn't bring much food with them. Caesar marched inland to try to get some food and supplies by raiding towns and villages. But, the entire Pompeian army had come to say hi, along with a bunch of Numidian Cavalry. The Caesarians had gotten their asses handed to them, but they managed to escape. After this, the Caesarians had to stick to the coast in a defensive formation. The only thing stopping them from starving to death was finding a nearby town's hidden food stockpile. Months passed like this. Two extra legions then arrived. Caesar's army was now about as big as Scipio/Labeinus' army. But Scipio/Labeinus had King Juba's 4 additional legions worth of cavalry. Enter Avienus. Caesar sees his ships on the horizon, imagining them with food stockpiles to feed his starving army. Or another legion to finally get this war over with! But no. Avienus brought his entire household with him. No food. No soldiers. Caesar must've been so angry, after everything he's been through. He could've fitted half a legion on that ship, or brought a bunch of food or supplies to stop the Caesarians from starving, or to build up their camp/fortifications. Maybe it was because Avienus was a military tribune, and a dishonorable discharge was punishment enough. Avienus would never be able to hold any kind of political office. Either way, it's far better than what Scipio did to a group of captured Caesarians during the African Campaign. Scipio asked the centurion from the captured Caesarians if they'd be willing to fight for him. The centurion gave a very flowery speech basically saying "no". Scipio was so mad he ordered the centurion executed on the spot, and ordered the rest of the captured Caesarian soldiers to be tortured to death... Damn. I know who's side I'd be on.

You missed the most famous one - Rivality of Titus Pulo and Lucius Vorenus, they were competing about becoming Primus Pilus and Caesar himself wrote about their ridicilous combat and rivalry :D

"Glory, peace, fame, money, and women." Imaginary, supernaturally beautiful women at that; things hardly change indeed.

The contents of that poem would work as a modern day hip hop lyrics as well lol.

It's been cool watching this channel grow. One on soldier's graffiti would be cool.

If Caesar was genuinely angry at his officer, then that officer was very lucky that he merely got off with just simply being dismissed. I'm given to understand that the Big C was not the easy going type when it came to maintaining the discipline and order of his soldiers.

I Would like to hear more about the nymphs ;)

Filaxim my friend , this was great and id love to see more like this. Thanks again for hard work you put into these vids !

I'm definitely marching under the banner of more anecdotes! These little snippets of history never fail to amuse me. They really need more of these in school, along with the bare facts - we'd probably get a lot more historians out of it.

I laughed form start to end, i wish i can see more of these videos. Cheers from Spain.

The last sounds more like a bucket list than a poem...☺

Aww this is awesome

This was a nice treat! Make more of these! Good soundtrack too.

HOLY FUK THIS VIDEO WAS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING. Subbed. Please do more honestly you have to make the funny stories its own miniseries. I demand it pleb.

That last poem, my sides.

This is an amazing video idea

This was great! Definitely do more of these.

Truly u must continue in this endeavour to spread the glory of rome

entertaining as hell, good job.

This literary insight to such groundbreaking semantic poetry of life and times of the common plebeian legionary and I, mere future peasant far removed must bestow upon this man honor, praise and recognition of such renown and wit worthy of eternal remembrance two long millennia after his lusted words. *Chefs Kiss* 👌🏻 Edit: How could I forget, *NICE*

Greed is one of the Seven Deadly Sins. It is frequently fatal. There is a story told by Edward Gibbon in his Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire which stands as one of the most unusual for any army. After the death of the last Emperor of the Julian line, and the Year of Four Emperors the Army had learned that it could make and break Emperors. The army came to expect “gifts” from the Emperors they had made. Some historians say that one of the causes of the Decline of the Empire was because the army discovered it could make Emperors. Naturally enough Emperors did not appreciate being extorted. This practice came to an end after the army threatened the wrong Emperor. Before Constantine split the Empire into two, the Roman Empire was divided with two Caesars. One in the East and one in the West. Each had an army under the Emperor in Rome. So when it happened that the army in Rome, the Western Army, threatened the Emperor to give a them a gift, “or else”, the Emperor devised as scheme to show the Empire who was in charge. He gave the army its “gift” and then led it north on a campaign. Stopping for the night, he directed the army to camp in an open area. The Emperor had arranged for the Eastern Caesar to bring his army close. The Eastern Army deployed for battle. The Emperor left the Western Army and rode to the Eastern Army, accompanied by most of the Western Army’s officers. The Eastern Army then attacked the Western Army camped leaderless in its open defenseless position and destroyed it, leaving none alive. That ended the army’s practice of extorting Emperors.

I really enjoyed this ...

Great vid. Please more

Where all the naked nymphs at?

You are doing a great work. This work is exactly whats missing from all other epic channels. Well done bro

Great and amusing video. Filling the whole picture about ancient romans... as very humans

Thank you I enjoyed this a lot and please do more like This as well

Love this, need moreeeeeee

Legionnaires be like they’re the player character in video games, always lootin’

Lmao I love the music changes in this video they're so perfect. Serious and dramatic music playing while he's laying out the historical context to the situation and then the big oof part of the story starts so the music becomes quirky and upbeat 😂

Great stories, and well done. thanks

This was awsome

I love that poem. It's a soldier's poem. "I wanted to go kill, I killed. I wanted to go home, and I can. I wanted to win, and I did. Also, hot chicks!"

loved it

Great, as usual!

Great video great channel

Yes, many more stories please.

Dude, if I were Caesar, I would have loaded that guys possessions (obviously not people or animals) back on that boat and sunk it. It's amazing that not only did you dig up a poetry club, but that poem! Well done, very entertaining, Subscribed!

I, for one, would like several more of such videos.

Pompeius got screwed so many times lmao. DAMN GOLD!!! AGAIN!!!!

Yes more please. I never heard of those stories.

😂😂😂 you will be amazed but nothing has changed since ancient times. After 1990 in my country tranches alongside roads had to be dug. Stories about pots with gold coins being found during digging in certain places acted like a charm on populus and you should see the willingness of the people to dig trances and the fervour they kept digging . In the UK you should see the simple minded people being more than happy to work in grueling conditions on demolition sites to the thought that they may be as lucky as others who found treasures during the demolition in other places. It is priceless how easy pray the people are to stories.

This is the kind of thing i love about history, that underneath all the other stuff, most of humanity will never change

I died laughing at the poem! Thanks for this educational and entertaining video!

This was great

I love that last poem so much

That poem was hysterical.

That poetry at the end felt like something from a Supa Hot Fire bit lol

That Augstra centurions split fire bro 🔥

*Gnaeus Pompeius Magnus:* The man who could lead soldiers to great glory, and onto even greater greed

This would be a great miniseries, and I really enjoyed this episode

Very nice ! ! 🙂😎👍

I rarely comment on videos but man what an amazing video

Name me something more powerful in our earthly realm than the paycheck 🤣🤣🤣🤣

yes, I want to see more this was an awesome video

Good stories. If true that’s telling why Pompey lost due to the hardcore of his legions are driven more by greed than aspiration for victory

My guy i need more of those funny poems from soldiers. That shit had me on the floor laughing.

I need more of these in my life

Thank you

This was cool.

Very very good

If I could make a request: A video on the organization and units of the Late Empire would be very appreciated. The mess of Vexilatio, the Auxilia, Legio, Comitatus, Schola, and Cunae makes my head spin.

Love it

yes more!

"Legionary TITUS PULLO! Step Forward" "Sorry, sir. He's not present." "Jupiter's balls. Where is he?" "Well, sir,...there was this wagon full of gold...and a slave girl..." "Oh, well. Finest traditions then?" "Quite."

No doubt that soldier's poem sums up what every soldier wanted... except to find a lot of treasure!

Very enjoyable! I especially enjoyed the poem😂 men never really changed and that's a good thing for us girls lol

Yes, more anecdotes please.

Primus pilus' poem sounds like Supa hot fire

Love the funny music whenever they're about to act silly 🤪🤪😂

Feels Like HBO's Generation Kill Rome edition "Ye, Ego sum iuvenis incultus Baby"

Yoooo Nice video

Pompey could have made up the story about Carthage treasure to motivate his men. He would've had a few days after landing to rest, draw up a few battle plans and get a few laughs. His men, however, would grow frustrated with the lack of treasure, and they might want to run a few people through with their swords to release their pent-up frustration. Avienus. Hmm. I wonder if his name the root for the word _avarice._