Toms Tech and funnier

If it would have been a real german general,he would have asked :"What part of Berlin,West or East ?"

England: "Berlin will be flattened" German: "how flat?" England: "Flatter than Twiggy." Germany:"Tviggy?"

@@TheSoundsage Come on,Twiggy wasn`t that flat as Berlin had been.Probabely.

You guys really know how to make flattening compliments!

No! I love all the buildings from the early 20th century! Do you want Berlin architecture to look like the Ruhr Valley Area? Because those were flattened and rebuild effeciently in 50s and 60s style

@@xYouTubax Well you are right, Ruhr area is ugly as fuck but as I said... In 1945, the bombed and burned buildings would have had to be taken down anyway. Bombed entirely to the ground or not wouldn't have made a difference... Except for the Germans maybe not having to use as much wrecking ball at first.

Should've started with Detroit.

Good luck with the three air defense towers!

@@xYouTubax Thats obviously right. But his point is, that Berlin was already only ruins at that point.

Had their fingers crossed that time too 😉

Iain MacLennan An old German gesture: knot your fingers, to remind you of something important. Like a promise.

'the big gerry had his fingers crossed, sir.' ^^

Well, actually we all know by now that each and every european nation was keen on waging war - not only the germans. Disabled Willy II. although couldn´t wait and declared war as first. The rest is history.

@R G it's certainly more complicated than just looking at the formal declarations of war which were sent between capitals in writing

Oh no. Germans have a sense of humor. Look at "Michael Mittermeier english"

I have met many Germans with a better sense of humour than Muricans.

As a german i would have almost laughed

Thoight the answer would be NEIN!

@@solmoman Is that what you thoink?

I know, I love that bit. Keep repeating it.

I wonder if they even have that gesture in Germany! Ever since the cartoon of John Dean doing it during Watergate testimony, I assumed it was an American thing. Easy to believe we got it from the British.

Well, at least today we've got it. I'm not sure if we had it in the 40s, though.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crossed_fingers "In German-speaking countries and also Sweden the gesture is only known for vitiating oaths." LYING BASTARDS! :D

"That doesn't count sir. The big Jerry has his fingers crossed, sir"

German revenge for losing ze war 😄

Damn, you beat me to it.

We just got the deal we wanted, sorry to break it to you ^^ somebody else capitulated ^^

@@sparkythemagicpiano2867 No, ..it's the deal the EU wanted.... Sir Boris is already getting slack from British fisherman about betrayal to Brussels... and we haven't even read the whole "agreement" yet....

@@sparkythemagicpiano2867 yes celebrate the fact you can take more fish, let’s not talk about the tens of thousands of financial jobs going to Frankfurt, Dublin, etc...

You may very well be held back a grade.

And now say it like you meant it!

This seemed like a strange system to me as a child and even now as an adult. Saying sorry was taught as being more important than actually being sorry. Effectively they were encouraging us to lie and fake contrition to avoid more serious consequences. If contrition doesn't come naturally, you're expected to just pretend, fake it to make everyone else feel better. Being forced to lie about your state of mind does not seem to me to be an exercise encouraging a healthy mental state. Needless to say when I attempted to make this argument in such a situation (with the much more limited vocabulary available to me), it didn't go down well.

@@stephenderry9488 Being respectful of others, saying sorry is more of an expression of respect and being polite, consideration ect. You need to be crying with regret when you use the term.

@@alanandconnielast I can see that you might mindlessly use the expression out of etiquette without giving a moment's thought to sincerity in situations where you have nothing to gain or lose, but really, what is the value of forcing someone who really absolutely isn't sorry - and might, depending on the true circumstances, be internally raging with a sense of injustice - to produce such an obvious lie? It doesn't necessarily resolve the situation and long term could make things worse. Respect can be given freely but some people show by their actions that they really don't deserve it. And even children understand that.

mkmm60 You also don’t have much of a Jewish community or an ability to ever have moral outrage.

Well, at least we do still have an industry; you cannot have everything in life ;)...

Now that is not fair. Jews have been returning to Germany, and they (the Germans) have expressed their moral outrage at government forces in Syria and Russian meddling in elections and general warlike behavior clearly enough. It is Trump and his American supporters who are failing to express the moral outrage.

Calm down, this is about comedy.

Actually, we had a load of foreigners here between 39 and 45 from Poland, Russia working in our factories. But that did not make us happy. And them either.

only that 98% of Germans don't give a f*ck about Berlin :D

@@rumpelstilzz Right? The rest of the country would fucking cheer them on if it was just about Berlin...

@@Exodon2020 same thing here in the netherlands and Amsterdam.

@@cristianvandenbosse8989 Well, The Netherlands are already flat. So it wouldn't be much of a change, would it?

Just posted this at the top, but posting here, just for you.

​@@davidcadman4468 It was France that officially declared the war due to the Polish guarantee but the world got the wrong impression due the the U.K. being the alliance leader. In fact the British government never wanted this war and if it wasn't for that lunatic Churchill they wouldn't had a part in it. Despite the crimes, destruction and decay that war was the best thing the world could have. Most of the far-right and far-left regimes that had ''power'' collapsed or transformed to something productive. Sad that we humans must mass murder each other in order to move on...

@@dominges Nope, the far-left regimes are just in power now instead and are unopposed.

um ... right ... Hitler did not call his invasion of Poland a war. He hadn't declared war on England and France when he broke his treaty with those countries to militarily take the Rhineland (an area agreed, by treaty, to remain unmilitarized) and he didn't declare war when he marched into the neighboring country of Austria and he didn't declare war on Czechoslovakia when he marched his army in to take control of a part of their country ... and then ... he did not declare war on England or France when he marched into Poland despite his awareness that they were pledged to militarily defend Poland. When given an ultimatum to withdraw his forces by September 3rd or face the reality that a state of war will exist between his and those countries he neither declared war nor bothered to respond. So ... um ... yeah, one could technically say that "Britain declared war on Germany first". But it isn't only words that have meaning.

btw ... this business of who "declared war" before the other isn't much to rely on when looking for what happened. Japanese forces bombed Pearl Harbor before Japan declared war on the United States. Wikipedia shows the ways that war between nations in World War II came about ... you'll notice that only some of them began with a declaration en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Declarations_of_war_during_World_War_II

Scottish?

Liverpool more like

John bishop is from liverpool

That's the most English sounding Scot I've ever heard lol

​@@psychologyteacher mantis

There I was trying to remember his name and you’ve got it!

Struggling not to laugh though.😂

How flat?

U.V. S. Oh just flatten the curve. Getting grey, but not enough to dye yet...

You mistook ze level of reading, lieber Freund ! He äctually meant it as 'berlin', a type of horsedrawn carriage, äs in to 'run a flat' (tire) with your berlin on the cobbled streets of Kurfürstendamm ! Zer is absolutely nothing a Prussian aristocrat hates more than that - it is a major pain in dem Arsch. So this sketch is showing how ze fate of Görmany was once again decided by ze selfish whims of ze Junkers ! Sänk Gott I am very intelligent and able to decode these complex English Enigmas !

letosvet1 A Damm isn't made from cobbles, but from sticks. The road was named after where it was leading. The Kurfürstendamm to the Kurfürst. The road to the church was named Goddamn.

@@u.z.9383 haha nice one ;) Damm it, unmasked again due to slender detail. I must to work better on my spy cover-story next time !

Geoffrey Whitehead ?

@@firestar7188 . That's him. He is having a problem not laughing at the end.

@@grahvis O.k. Thx.

He's Lucy's dad and Lee Mack's father- in-law in Not going out

This is true, however its worth noting that Montgomery was famously pompous and arrogant.

@Herbert Norkus Well, Germany did invade Belgium and France. So, a teeny weeny bit of guilt there, dontcha think?

@Herbert Norkus Wilson's 12 demands included a free Polish state, with access to the sea, and WWII started when Germany invaded Poland for the very land in mention. So I don't know, if you're gonna go around blaming everybody for starting WWII but Hitler, you should start with Wilson first.

Herbert Norkus Versailles was actually a pretty lenient treaty given the circumstances. And given Germany’s actually harsh and unjust treaties with Russia and Romania.

@@adamkurowski1934 don't forget how glad poland was to join in the plundering of czechia together with the nazi germany. Poland the hyena of europe, always playing the victim card

Who's catch phrase is My God (or Mein Gott !! In German )

Kaiser Bill ?

Because in some regional dialects "Pfannkuchen" describes a pastry akin to a filled donut, while the flat, pan-fried kind is called "Eierkuchen".

It's just an impression of how the Deutsch language makes long words out of little words, and also when the English translation is much shorter. It's funny here because it's obviously bullshit, like "ge-flatten".

It is historically accurate. Germans did not do it again.

...yet. 😉

@@yvettechevalier7089 They no longer have the military power to do so. The UK and France are the only real military powers in Europe now.

@@yvettechevalier7089 hahaha good point.

Griff has captured his style perfectly here.

Humor (done in the right way) can transcend history and culture, correct? PS: I am Australian.

@@BadWebDiver yer absolutly Humor is the best thing in Life

@@SuperTimebandit Hmmm... Did you ever had real great sex...?

@@melchiorvonsternberg844 Ages ago lol

@@SuperTimebandit Na also mein Heinrich. Dann hast du ja Vergleichsmöglichkeiten, was so die besten Dinge sind, im Leben...

@william joyce Agreed.

Politics is the childishness of demanding an apology!

@Srithor like the big bang or your cat's litter box. damn politicians serving the establishment!

@Srithor zarthbacon is correct. It seems very petty after so much death Not an opportunity for you to recite your history class

You say you're sorry for that remark, right now!

FREEEEEEEDOOOOOOOOOOOM

Surrendering is just agreeing to take a break for them I hear... 😆

Yhhhhhhyyyhhhbhhhhhhhhhh byhhhybhbbhhhhhbhbyhbbbhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhbhhhh hhhhhhhhhbhbbhhhbbbbh bhbh

No but they'd know how to spell 'Scots' which is more than I can say for you. I assume you are from Australia or something?

No... I would translate the meaning of "they want to flatten Berlin" as "Sie wollen Berlin gleichmachen" litterally meaning "to even out".

@A Koster @John Cornell The verb "gleichmachen" as such simply means to equalize or to make equal. In the given context, a speaker of German would always say: "Sie wollen Berlin DEM ERDBODEN gleichmachen." [To make level WITH THE GROUND] This is the idiomatically correct way to say it. A more colloquial variant would be: "Sie wollen Berlin PLATTMACHEN", with "platt" meaning "flat" (sic!). This is both shorter and closer to the original.

@@guesswho5122 Well yes, maybe that would be clearer, but in colloquial spoken German, just like in English, parts of a sentence can be ommitted where the context makes clear what a person is saying. And if a British army officer tells you they are threating to level (gleichmachen) Berlin... without saying "to the ground" I'm sure it would be clear due to context.

@@guesswho5122 See Google translate "gleichmachen"

NIEMALS!!!

Agreed, nothing of value would get lost. Just a bunch of hipsters, chavs, Lebanese mobster clans, the entire political establishment and about 60.000.000.000 in debt.

@@marcelldavis4809 .... exactly

@@marcelldavis4809 Well, it wasn't full of that in 1945...

that´s also true @@svíþjóð

It also resonates with Trump's refusal to denounce white supremacism, and when (with extremely bad grace) he does mutter an insincere denouncement he IMMEDIATELY denounces antifascism as well. If he does not know that the US fought against fascism in WW2 he should not be pretending to be their President.

@Da Pacem Domine SOME of that is what a tiny minority are doing, many of whom are not in any sense anti fascist but simply opportunist deadbeats (or in a few cases, far right provocateurs) ... but hey, you clearly feel entitled to your own "facts", which from this distance are frankly indistinguishable from feelings. I doubt, for instance, that you could supply me with a list of US cities which anti fascists have "destroyed to the ground". But I will be eternally indebted if you are able to do that.

as a pancake...

'Humane'? That doesn't make sense.

@@markfox1545 Aww true, it makes sense in my language tho lol. I think proper translation would be "most human thing".

@Lee Brown We did not.. The country as England was never really English until we saw the formations from the war of roses. The Normans and Germanic Anglo Saxons with the Nordic mix merging into the English with time.

I think someone else said that the uniform and decorations were accurate for Montgomery.

Just looked up a couple of photos of Monty and you're right still looks funny though

@@galexeqe It was Monty's trademark.

not even in the slightest

It sounds more like Attenborough than clarkson

and stole all the watches.

thanks, I started laughing all over again.

@@SuperKSongz That wasn't the intention, I'm german.

@@vermilion7777 So am I, a Hartmann from Babylonian times, and the lessons learned handed down to me.

It's a joke about weirdly long german words for mundane things

@@alicev5496 This isn't really that weird. The only difference between the english language is, that we don't use spaces between longer word complexes. But that's not that obvious in everyday speech, it's more a thing of official language and techical terms. Chamber of Agriculture would be Landwirtschaftskammer, but you could techically say Kammer der Landwirtschaft as well. It's quite awkward when english satire gives the impression that we would speak like that the whole time. In reality the amount of syllables between the german and the english language is almost identical, if you compare two analog sentences. I found this to be unneccessary in the context of this sketch. League of Gentlemen (Herr Lipp) is way more legit in their use of the german language, for instance.

Google translate seems to agree 😄 so it must be right 😄

geflatten gibt es NICHT lach

@@SuperTimebandit Warum?

@@colinp2238 this term does not exist in the german language. you would say something like "platt machen", "flach machen". "Geflatten" sounds like "flatmakening" or something equal in english. I Still love that line. Have a look at "nazi generals" from the same comedy-group.

@@SuperTimebandit Jetzt schon.

The point was clearly not lost on Trump*, witness his making common cause with neo Nazis. * Or Drumpf, as his forebears were called until his grandfather (a serial fraudster) immigrated to the US and changed his surname.

@Da Pacem Domine Not THE American people, just the angry white male ones.

Point of correction to my post above: I incorrectly remembered the timing of the change of name. It was actually centuries earlier, it does not seem possible to be sure exactly when.

@@Gottenhimfella Yep! We were so happy here that this rabble family emigrated to America ...

@@melchiorvonsternberg844 And yet their "illustrious" descendent still managed to do your nation (essentially, all nations) serious harm. But I understand your relief that they did not (continue to) stink up Germany.

This is a parody of Montgomery accepting the surrender of the German forces fighting against the British, Canadian and US troops in Germany at Luneberg Heath in May 1945. I believe it was Field Marshall Busch who turned up at Monty's command post to offer the surrender. As Eisenhower was the Commander in Chief of allied forces, Monty should not really have accepted the surrender himself, however he was very unhappy that he didn't get the top job himself and so he seized on the opportunity to make history and got the newsreel cameras in for the event.

So that's basically the Geneva Convention against war crimes out of the window... if you threaten to kill all unarmed German civilians it is a war crime

@@clavichord A total misreading of what Montgomery said.

@UCyyWtqMdLBQ6vzVCwPtrVQw Montgomery was saying the obvious; unless the German forces surrendered the war in Northern Europe would continue and both soldiers and civilians would continue to die. He did not threaten to deliberately kill unarmed civilians as you state. The Germans had already extensively bombed civilian targets in Poland and had flattened Rotterdam. Do you think they would have stopped at the English Channel? They didn't require provocation. Churchill had many faults but your assertion that he wanted the East End destroyed is beyond ridiculous - where is your evidence?

​@@Wotsitorlabart Rotterdam doesn't excuse the far greater destruction by allied bombing raids in all of Axis-controlled Europe. Also no, your fears of germans advancing past the Narrow Sea are completely unfounded, Germany had no means to invade the British Isles and Hitler didn't want to destroy the British Empire, he only wanted Russia.

They don't need Germans. Many Russians speak excellent German.

@@sebastianriemer1777 I can hear the difference and trust me, Russians can never speak German that properly unless they were born and raised in Germany. However, the Germans in Russian movies speak on mothertongue level. You can barely learn it like that as a non-native speaker.

Modern Videos are in 16:9 format, that is also the youtube standard. The other channels probably upload the old TV-Standard 4:3 without adjustments. KZfaq does support 4:3 format videos, but i guess not everyone knows how to do it properly. Or the 4:3 feature is new on youtube and all the videos that have been uploaded before the feature was implemented use 16:9

Yesss. Who the hell said that? Who was it?

Rusty Kilt: Probably someone who has never been there.

There was nothing to Jodl about then

@@clavichord Did Jodl know how to yodel?

@@fliegeroh Well, Jodl thought he could yodel... they hanged him shortly afterwards....

@@clavichord Afterwards, the western judges regret this. It wasn't not justified that much...

@@melchiorvonsternberg844 They regretted it, not due to a sense of justice, but because it doesn't look good in the history books... a bit like civilian target bombing, Churchill's wish to use chemical weapons and allied soldiers raping civilians or plundering shops in, for example Arnhem... it just doesn't look good... so.. hush, hush for 80 years

Oh yeah! Black Adder, or Monty Phyton. They dragged the English army, deep through the mud of their own trenches ...