I wish I could like this comment 70 billion times over! These parents need to know!

I agree. I never heard I was beautiful except once in my life that I can vividly remember. I started talking to an older guy online as a result.

Agreed!

So true

Please note that if you do not teach your children to not concern themselves w the wrong things..... stupidity is not the result of being deprived a superficial compliment 💯

Yep.

Most are i think or most can't connect with their daughters as much as with their sons/bond.

MF DOOM That doesn’t make sense!! A mother should be able to connect to her daughter more than her son because her and her daughter are both Women!!

@@ms.beautiful I mean you can look it up their is studies on it.

@@ms.beautiful www.theguardian.com/society/2010/oct/06/most-mums-favour-sons-survey

Gaby Cerpa Some of them definitely care wut strangers say

Thats funny because as a kid I never believed my parents I believe strangers 😂 lmao now I don’t believe anyone

True! I care more about the opinion of my parents who I respect and love than a stranger that means nothing to me! A parent has so much controle about how a child thinks of herself or himself. I always tell our child she is smart and beautiful and teach her to be confident. Other poeple can be nice but there will be situations where they can be hars and in those situations the child needs to be already confident in herself or himself so someone else can’t tear him of her down. That the foundation parents should build for and with the child

Iconic moment. HAHAHAHA

Lol Loni seems to be lying to us 😄😄

Unconditional positive regard has nothing to do with this scenario. She's her mother, not a therapist. The danger here is she may feel insecure and seek validation from other women. She does seem to get it from others but her mom is being too extreme. If you bring something like unconditional positive regard into parenting you'll end up with a kid with no boundaries, no conscience and who will do whatever they want as there are no consequences. They'll feel entitled. The concept works for assessing persons in therapy and building the therapeutic alliance but with a kid you have to teach right from wrong you don't want to do that 🤷🏽‍♀️

Me to

Yes I do too. However, alot of the Asian culture spends alot of time trying to look white and change the beautiful aspects of themselves (their eyes and skin) and I think if they felt beautiful, it would happen less. You can be gorgeous, giving, and have a 4.0....I know first hand. Love my parents and family for that!!

I love the four of them

Connie as an African as well, I agree because for some reason African mothers are too hard on their daughters. We need that validation, and when we don’t get it we learn slower how to just decide to look to ourselves for validation.

Idk why but growing up with my sisters and just having my dad raise us, we never got compliments or acclimated for doing good unless we basically asked for it. " look dad I got an A" . So anytime he said I love you it didnt feel genuine. Now th hat I have a son and another on the way, I love my kids so damn hard!!!! Our favorite things are each other hugs and were best friends. Hes only 3 but he will never think he is unloved

alanah robinson this was so precious to read!! The last part! Keep being the great mom that you are

Yes....like Loni said LEARN THE CODE lmbo

I feel Tam. I am her in so many ways, and yes, i was also That friend😂😂

Elle Plow Plow yes, because they be judging jeani sometimes. Tamera didn’t even have to mention Jeani mom calls her beautiful.

Yes!

T Tae - in preschool really???????

luxaholic anonymous yes!!!!unfortunately parents think it’s cute when kids do that. I always thought that was too young for them to start but kids are so advanced these days they have such a large vocabulary for some babies.

T Tae - I specifically remember that from K-4th grade everyone still played together. Grade 5 was when everyone started forming cliques and that was when bullying started.

luxaholic anonymous every school is different , I just hope people are at least getting love at home

Indian parents as well.

Nicaraguan mothers too 😩

@Hans I don't think i would call it being negative. I believe your parents are the people who can be completely honest with you on everything, telling you where you need to improve or pat you on the back because friends usually say only what makes you happy. In life you always need people who tell you the not-so-good feedback!

Lol African parents are similar to Asians!😂😂 I grew thick skin. I'm used to it and it doesn't bother me, but I'll definitely be telling my kids they're beautiful, smart, and more.

my mom is Mexican and that is my life 😂

LiliBear 2153 Why exactly is beauty something to celebrate? 🤔 And what about those who aren’t beautiful?? Would the lie be healthy for their social development? And why might a child think they are not good enough for their Mom even when being praised on more meaningful attributes? 🤔

tashboog as Tamara said, beauty is more than just looks and if u have that misconception u shouldn’t be having kids

kayla. naomi so it’s not a misconception given the topic is about complementing a child’s physical appearance.. obviously a child isn’t going to interpret that statement any other way unless restated or further discussed, Foh. And more importantly, who in tf are you to determine who is appropriate for parenting. That’s a deeply personal remark you should reconsider your place to say bc that would’ve gotten you fucked up in person love.

tashboog lmaoo ok luv, id love to see me being touched. and u genuinely believe that ur mindset of “what about those who aren’t beautiful “ is gonna work in the real world. Even when talking about physical beauty, DIFFERENT PEOPLE FIND DIFFERENT PEOPLE BEAUTIFUL OR ATTRACTIVE. who tf are u to say who is and isn’t beautiful? anywho NEXT CALLER

kayla. naomi and Id be more than happy to oblige love, drop ya location and come get this issue finger thug... I’ll wait. Hmm so I’m an honest soul w 20/20 vision and therefore more than capable of discerning attractiveness from unattractiveness. That TRUTH is a fragment of the real world you’re clearly tapped out of.. case in point; go search the endless catalog on this very platform of people griping about who isn’t included in respective, overarching beauty standards. It’s a thing smart 🙄 ....*anyhoo NEXT MISTAKENLY CONCEIVED, I got you on the regretfully produced waste of flesh 💯

What did she mean about the hand sanitizer? I didnt get the joke 😂😭

what did she mean with that?? like using it as lube?

B B would you be surprised to find that the most classically “beautiful” women tend to have the lowest esteem? Because when you focus on looks- it becomes about looks. Instead of building confidence you build insecurity. You can tell your child they’re beautiful all day but they can’t compete with surgically enhanced IG models- you’ll tell them their preety and the world will show them a different version. I’m not against complimenting children on their looks- I think it should be the compliment least used. Compliment kids and build their confidence on intangible things no one can destroy. Build your kids complimenting their intelligence, wit, character... etc and supplement it occasionally with their outward beauty.

Facts!!

"not to look to men for validation" 💯 Totally agree with you on that.

Joy It doesn’t have to be the least used but children are ALWAYS complimented on the smallest things, beauty included, and that’s the way it needs to be. “Oh you’re so pretty!” “Oh you’re so handsome!” “Oh you’re so smart!” “You’re such a big girl!” “What a big boy!” “You’re so talented!” “You’re funny” Children hear this a hundred times a day and when it comes to addressing young girls, people tend to over think because of societal expectations and it’s unnecessary. As a mother, Going out of your way to refuse telling your daughter she’s beautiful is one of the most tragic and insane sociological experiments I have ever heard and quite frankly, it’s tacky. People are so desperate to be considered socially evolved or “woke” that they’re more socially digressed than anything.

Ignorant or a refusal to assimilate? Looks aren’t essential at all, society simply created that illusion and it is actually brave to live in your own reality and think for yourself.

🙏🙏🙏🙏

Thanks love🙏🏼💯❤️

America isn’t gonna be ok

MB damn 🙄 they were just trying to spread positivity in the midst of a horrible time. relax.

❤❤

Nah

Nah

Nope.. i can relate to her..im asian..i don't care to be called beautiful from my mom 😂

AJL same! I’m Polynesian and my mom has never called me pretty or beautiful and part of me never wants her too. That’d be too weird😂

Eriss R. Yeah because you totally don’t sound like one 💀 go somewhere

VV Wow it’s like the whole segment went over ya head 😐

That's beautiful am waiting my mom to say to these day she use to when I was young but now am 23 en nothing

Summer Flower facts

Hope your doing okay

gigiakagorgeous _ I’m good thanks for your concern x

what did she mean with the hand sanitizer joke?

Shawn Dyer Say it again tho 🤦🏾‍♀️

Thanks because I thought it was clever of her to call her child other things that are positive not physical you say "hey my smart girl" "look how kind you are" children want affirmation so choose what you will do some cultures are just different

Sadly, these are the same exact girls who grow up and feel insecure about their appearance and jealous of other females they think are beautiful. I see it all the time. I was told that I was beautiful all the time by both of my parents and I never feel jealous of women and when I look at myself in the mirror I am extremely happy with what I see and I am not insecure at all. Parents need to tell their girls they are beautiful in addition to everything else. I am glad my parents did this because I see a big difference in myself and other women who parents never did this.

Jessi M. Except these are superficial points of concern which is the only part that is genuinely sad. There is a different underlying issue when a girl/young lady/woman feels insecure or jealous based on her physicality as opposed to any point of actual merit. On the contrary, my insecurity stemmed from the overwhelming attention I got for my physical appearance throughout my youth. I only cared bc of the constant affirmation and eventually obsessed over something I not only wasn’t in control of but that genuinely doesn’t matter apart from the fog society creates over the subject. My intellect allowed me to discover on my own the power system and lie of “beauty” as it relates to physical appearance. I had to unlearn that lie and love what sets me apart, that mf unmatched intellect which kept me just a few paces more conscious than my peers who were constantly worried about the wrong things. I could go on.. but my point is that we have to stop subjecting our personal experiences onto the truths of human psychology. The same thing you feel built your confidence is the same thing that dismantled mine so your theory about the difference b/t you and others seems to achieve a confirmation bias.. when it is quite possible that the bigger picture is the overarching obsession for beauty in the west among other places. Consider this; if society didn’t constantly reward beauty, then would the concern be innate? Is beauty always the premise of desire? What about those inherently excluded from the subject altogether (those born with physical afflictions, deformities, and such..) notice how people often leave them out of the conversation and don’t comment on how they look out of “politeness.” I wonder whether those of you imparting this dimwitted assertion of what people *should tell their daughters ever even consider any of these facts. No need to react, just something for you to think about..

@@tashboog There are people with a high level of intellect that they are born with. There are people with athletic abilities that most of us could not achieve no matter how hard we tried because of genetics. There are people with incredible musical talents that they were gifted with at a young age. I could go on forever but I will stop there. Physical appearance is the same as this. Some people are born aesthetically pleasing to look upon. It doesn't mean that they are better than anyone else. Just like the genius, the incredible athlete, and the brilliant musician is not better than anyone. Why call your children smart if there will always be a person who is smarter and they might obsesses about being the smartest and it may cause depression and worry????? It is the same exact reasoning that people like you have for not calling their daughters' beautiful but no one cares because it is not about "beauty." The truth is when you say you do not want to call your child beautiful, you are putting being beautiful on a pedestal and making it better than other qualities. You are indirectly saying that beauty is worth more and more valuable. Truth is there are beautiful people, intelligent people, artistic people, athletic people, etc. If you are conventionally attractive, you can be a model. If you are naturally good in math, you can be a mathematician. If you have crazy athletic abilities, you can try for the olympics. We are all different. Not everyone has to beautiful just like not everyone has to be muscular, or brilliant musician, or the smartest person in the room .

Jamaican have such a hard time showing love and affection, all they do is criticize 🙄

Glen CoCo if u have low self esteem and self gate don’t u think u should be more sensitive to urself ? And maybe tough love just isn’t the answer

Lol I had a similar experience my mum sent me a text saying I love you n I was like 🧐 what is thissssss???

My Nigerian mum hugged me when I graduated college and it was the strangest thing ever!!!!

Valentíno Quiñones no gIory hoIe?

Liezl V I love your comment!!

👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

The Dove lmao so leaving the compliment out is now narcissistic parental abuse? I’m done ..

@@tashboog Be done, clearly it's deeper than just a "compliment" I wouldn't have made this comment otherwise..

The Dove then perhaps you should articulate those layers bc it only clearly reads ridiculously.. you expressed no logical premise to label anyone’s differing needs as denial of trauma, please. Some of y’all dead ass just need to get over yourselves 🙄

@@tashboog Well I see you're not done.. Clearly you need to do research on the topic because there are others who see the same thing and because it triggers you, maybe you may want to explore why? Perhaps, you may have had a similar experience or you yourself treat others in that way and so it triggered you by my highlighting that it is a sign of a parent portraying narcissistic abuse.. Furthermore, it's not about a "compliment" which you tried to minimize the intent of her lack of nuturing, it is clear she has some "mommy dearest" issues and doesn't want to give her child the appropriate assurance needed for healthy child development.. If you don't see that fine, but for those that have eyes to see they know.. Keep it moving and go back to being done.. And I am alive am well.. be healed