"Gossip is saying something negative about a person to an individual that is not part of the solution"

I've heard gossip called the murder of a person's reputation. I always think of it in such serious terms. Helps to avoid it.

By Doug Wilson’s definition of gossip, a vast majority of Christian KZfaqrs are guilty of gossiping in their videos.

Years ago I heard the phrase "Gossip is saying anything about a person that makes it harder to love them." Stuck with me.

“Well, let’s go talk to her right now.” Love it!

Ruh-roh. I was sunk after Doug’s first sentence. I’ve got work to do…

One of the greatest potential sources of gossip, if we are not careful are church prayer meetings. In many cases, these Wednesday night prayer meetings turn into little more than sanctioned gossip sessions. "Y'all, we need to pray for Verna. Delmers been drinking again, and he's been hitting her". Gossip in prayer meetings is a very difficult issue. Does the entire group really need to know about this? Was the person genuinely concerned about the problem, or just using prayer meeting time as an opportunity to share this juicy little nugget. At the same time, a different person could share the same topic yet maybe not gossip because they genuinely are grieved by the problem. Hence, gossip can creep into church functions, and it is subtle, and it is very hard to deal with. Loved this video thanks for sharing.

A good rule of thumb: If you wouldn't say it to their face, don't say it to someone else's.

I feel like I would have loved Doug Wilson's mother.

I was told by an old friend that if you can talk about someone, you can also pray for them.

Thank you so much for this

I think it's a requirement that you must be regenerated, reformed and must have a beard as a man to be a part of Canon press. Such luscious beards 😅😅😅. Thanks for the explanation Pastor Doug, awesome as always!

Great explanation Much needed these days

Gossip has become so rampant in our society people just think it's normal and that's how you talk about other people.

This was so good! Thank you so much for a good reference video!

Great point about how authority can qualify a person to discuss another person's work or character without their knowledge.

A somewhat mostly useful rule to apply (not a silver bullet though) - "if you're not part of the solution or not part of the problem then punt"

This is helpful information

When you’re having a conversation with everyone except the person you need to have the conversation with…

We had a situation in our church where the pastor's wife had an affair and at the same time the youth pastor's wife also had one. The head pastor's wife admitted it to the congregation, but the youth pastor's wife's sin was kept secret. The two wives were quarreling about it because one was counseling the other and encouraged the adultery, but the other wouldn't admit it. The elders scared people into not being able to discuss the issue because they labelled any talk about the situation "gossip". People were afraid to even ask questions and it festered and the church ended up splitting. My argument to the elders was that discussing these issues could be done pure-heartedly so long as the goal was reconciliation without favoritism and being mindful to not sin...prayerfully. Am I wrong?

I never really thought of it this way but I did say this to one of my cousins once: When you talk about people, the Lord asked us not to bear false witness against our neighbor. But what if the person is speaking the truth about what happened to somebody else? What if it’s actually factual? I told my cousin, I think even in circumstances where you see a friend or loved one or a neighbor going through struggles in their life, even if you are speaking the absolute truth about someone. If there’s no prayer involved for that person being spoken of, if we’re not lifting our prayers to the Lord for this person, then we could potentially very well be gossiping about them…

Gossiping is the personification of hate,envy, and the end of a man's future.

Don't you put out videos weekly talking about those who are not present to their detriment?

Yeh

Amazing video! I have a question about when a parent uses someone as an example not to become like them or to be wary of them as they may be harmful to be around? What do I make of this? Is is also gossip? At one point I feel they say it for our protection but again it can paint a bitter picture of them too. Would be grateful to receive some wisdom.

Boom

Douglas's mother was a champ!

The definition of gossip and the parameters that constitute this sin seem to be quite difficult to define. Every theologian I’ve heard that has attempted to define it describes it differently.

Thank you Canon Press for this definition! I have always struggled with how to define gossip because of how many different definitions there are. Could you answer two questions about Gossip? First, what if you have been hurt by person A, and you need someone to talk to about what happened to you and get their counsel on how to proceed. Is that okay? Second, how does this definition of gossip overlap with talking about the evils that famous politicians/false teachers are committing? When is talking about a corrupt political leader or false prophet okay, and when is it gossip?

How should we respond when people are gossiping to us? And how should we respond if its someone were sort of not allowed to lecture, like a mother in law or boss per say?

No joke, one of the biggest gossip area is a construction site. Men would talk mad shit about other guys on the crew. "His work is terrible, he can't wire for shit. He is way too slow, etc". Only difference was, as opposed to women, is they would also rip them to their face.

Is it gossiping to recall and talk about the the truth of what happened in a situation ?

Gossip is: "Let's pray for Aunt Sue. Not to gossip, oh no, but because I OVERHEARD abt her affair ..now I'm not gossiping right? No, we are praying, in love for God to soften her heart and restore her marriage!, Yes oh", amen" yikes. This IS GOSSIP, Sadly, more women do/have done it, esp abt their own husband's, then they work it out and wonder why their mother can't stand him. They leave out how they nagged him, etc. I've been guilty of this and guess what? My husband divorced me and remarried a beautiful virtuous women who has his back and, unlike I did, she dont stab him in the back. We much learn to leave & cleave. Amen?

My favorite thing to equate is hearing you shouldn't have said that.... Well dear then you shouldn't have told me 🙄

So...this came to me while at a men's Bible study... let me know your thoughts.. When the disciples asked Jesus the most important commandment. JESUS said to love God first..He continued with stating the next commandment was like the first...to love your neighbors as yourself... on these two hang the law and the profits etc.... So..the thought that came to me was that as in our ever-changing narrative walking alongside nothing new under the sun... If we have not been born again believers and living a sanctified life (while still growing IN HIM) we have decided to focus less on "sin" and more on "love"... we have lessened the Gospel and raised the gossip... while we have been immersed more in cultural relativism and wanting/desiring to "earn the right" to speak truth in those lives around us... We are also ignoring the Biblical narrative in exchange for a cultural one... Jesus said there was no other way into the Kingdom except we be born again. Jesus didn't go to the cross guilty of idolatry (loving the creation more than the Creator God (Father). He (as a perfect spotless Lamb to be sacrificed for the sins of another)...Jesus asked if there were any other way and yet said not His (a Son) but Yours (the Creator/Father) be done....He continued to let man although created in the image of God...to nail the Only Savior they had to a cross...and He was still asking for forgiveness for those acting in ignorance... While we humans tend to not want or choose to "offend" those that are perishing (cuz the preaching of the cross is foolishness to those) .... we need to remind ourselves that we have all fallen short of His glory...and we were all swine that this pearl had been offered to... So while we may love the idea of loving those like we love ourselves.... if the same old nature (self love and a warped sense of Who He is and who we are) is defining love and we love our neighbors as ourselves (loving the creation more than the Creator) we are still perpetually giving into idolatry and not allowing the actual Gospel be heard/promoted/declared etc... Are we gonna keep grieving the Holy Spirit? Who indeed wants to lead us in all Truth? Yes the Holy Spirit convicts the sinner of their sins and ALSO allows us to come to the terms ...salvation is a gift that is not earned...or we'd boast. The Holy Spirit will be our ever present Helper...and Comforter (in the New Nature) While man likes a sure thing and a system that he can count on....how often do we keep quiet the Gospel and keep telling folks to just trust the system....the gossip... I'm reminded of those that claimed to follow the procedure known to be what is the fruit of a tree...healing/casting out demons/power in the Name etc....and Jesus told them... I tell you the truth...I never knew you. Get away from me you workers of iniquity... I pray for the salvation of all...but it is not based on a puppeteer God that allows no choice...as otherwise we are all programmed (and not free by any means) God also allows choice... it is my "opinion" that as God allows us to share the Gospel with those "we love and want to see saved on a platform of love and no talk of the reality of sin"...I'm also reminded where Jesus shared fish and loaves with multitudes and reminded them.....that what they heard (gossip) was to love your friends and hate your enemies... He said to love even your enemies. There is a huge difference between loving and worshipping. Plenty of His disciples couldn't handle this teaching....He asked His 12 (remnant) if they wanted to follow the others as well...again choice...not programmed ordained predetermined predestination...but allowing man to wrestle with Scripture and God while he still has breath in this vapor of temporary existence.... Fast forward to now.... I see the "church" as I do the multitudes that were fed by Jesus and couldn't handle sharing the truth being presented by the Author and Perfector of our faith... Are we gonna stop with following the "masses" and be able to stand and keep standing firm in the Saving faith of Jesus? 😇💪🙏

My pastor defined it as conversing about others in a way that is not edifying. As DW says, if you are part of the solution you’re edifying them. But when you include people who aren’t part of the solution, such as “venting” about your children to your friends (not seeking godly advice from wiser more experienced), you’re not edifying the listeners nor the subject individual. Refraining from gossip is an act of love.

It’s backbiting

I'm guilty

Say I have a co-worker who has a total opposite work style as to mine. When I make a balloon order, I like to ask the customer what they want first, finish ringing the customer (that's how I was taught to do it through company trainging videos), then blow up the balloons. She, has me blow up the balloons as she is ringing, while asking the customer what they want, which confuses me altogether. I have been working there for 4 years, she is a new hire. I go up to my second coworker, say "you know how she does that?" 2nd Co-Worker, "does what?" I say, "hands off balloons for me to blow up as she is making an order?" 2nd Co-Worker, "oh, that yeah?" I say, "I don't like it, it confuses me." Am I gossiping?

So slander is not a "big ticket" item. Slander is false or a lie. If I say someone stole money and they did it is not slander. Is it gossip? I don't know

The most tolerated sin in all of Christendom. And to the spiritual harm of countless women (primarily, but men also) who are not confronted over their sin from the pulpit or the pastor's office, and therefore never experience sanctification

May the Lord return! Amen. God is merciful. He always forgives. Never be ashamed to take your failures to him. He is for you, not against you! God is with you in the storm. He knows your troubles, he hears you! He is for you, on your side, always! It may feel silent at times, but he’s holding you close! May the Lord return soon! We are drawing closer. He is coming! Believe and trust in the Lord, you will be saved. Period. May the Lord bless you all! Hang in there family. Stay strong. It is not easy following the Lord. We are scoffed at. We give up our earthly dreams, our fleshly desires. What the enemy offers is short lived, but heaven is forever! Life may seem or be unfair, but God is with you! Always remember that. Things may get better or worse for you, but a kingdom awaits you! Finish the race! Repent daily and carry your cross. This world is fading fast. Your troubles are temporary! New channel here, I’d appreciate any kind of support. Don’t give up! God loves you so much! So do I. The Lord bless you!!

what about when paul wrote that so and so did him great harm and to mark him. is that gossip? or is that identifying someone who is unrepentant and needs to leave the church because CHURCHES TODAY DO NOT MARK UNREPENTANT CHRISTIANS and they look the other way. they’re not zealous for christ and remaining pure. they allow a little leaven to remain.

Is that dude wearing lipstick? is that gossip?

Honestly the most annoying thing to me when someone just constantly goes "mmhmm" after everything statement. Terrible for listening