Collects lots of clay -> Build has no clay at all

A "Suggestions Box" that is a little redstone gadget that visibly sends their suggestion immediately into a fire.

Grian should have a bunch of alter egos. Then he should tell people "I can't grant you a permit, but you should schedule a meeting with the head of the department of officiality, Dr. Joseph Griansworth." Then he meets with the hermits wearing a different skin and refers them to a different alter ego so they never get to someone who is actually willing to grant their permit

Make them submit paperwork into a chest, and after the item is sucked out of the chest, have a dispenser click and have the hermits hear the sound of an item burning. It'd be even better if occasionally it fired a book back at you that said 'processing error'

You'll have to remember if the Permit Office is closed, to put a 'Gone Fishing' sign up.

The last question on the form should be “add another question to the form” so that the form just gets progressively longer and longer the for each hermit that gets a permit

Question ideas: Have you evicted a snail in the last three days? Did you enter through the correct door? Have you cast your rod thrice beneath the dome? Do you understand redstone wizardry? Have you collected the rent from your neighbour?

office suggestions: 1. A weirdly long waiting line that's sectioned off with belts (you could use chains) or floor markers like arrows or just a line that leads to the desk. 2. Give hermits slips with random numbers to let them know where they are "in line". Then call out random numbers out of order. 3. there needs to be a complicated system to make an appointment so that you have even less customers. 4. A test to receive new permits.

i just want the last one to be "Did you vote Mumbo Jumbo for mayor back in season 6" and if they say no they have to write a full page essay justifying their actions

A question you could add is, "Do you have proof of residency?" With them needing a map and coordinates of their base. Then, the next question could be, "Do you have an unclaimed location for your prospective shop?" With a map of the plot they are going to build their shop on. And the last question being, "Do you have reasonable proof of a sustainable customer basis?" And they'd need a book with the signatures of at least 3 Hermits that would be their customers.

Paperwork questions: - Is moon big? - Have you exited this building through three different ways? - Do you have permission to sign this form from pas, present and future you?

Grian you should put a contraption saying "have questions? Tell me on this slip of paper!" and there's clearly a dropper leading to lava under it

Idea: - Have a note block that makes the bat squeak sound once every minute and blame it on a mice infestation. - Make a waiting room with a light that constantly flickers that the hermits need to stay in before filling out the form

You should add a “back room” that is really just there so you can get away from the customer, like it’s just an empty room with a single chair and an exit door so you can say “ let me just check in the back”

I think the left-handed option feels weird because the arm isn’t mirrored, it’s just moved over. In other words, it’s still the right hand, it’s just on the wrong side. Edit: the skin texture is mirrored, but the angle of the arm doesn’t seem to be. The right arm points inward, but the left arm points outward

oh dude.... as someone with an inconsistency in their records i cannot emphasize enough how perfectly accurate the permit office is. incredible. keep it up man this is gonna be so good

for the floor, you NEED to have a ticket counter, so they have to wait for their ticket to be called up...along with multiple help desks that are just empty or "off to lunch" signs.

It needs a long, winding queue like at Disneyworld. It needs a basement filled with bookshelves where you can go and be like, "I'm sure that book I need is somewhere..." It needs a water cooler. It needs a lot named zombies to work as workers, and one creeper (people assume he's a diversity hire). It needs a coffee machine that doesn't work. It needs a kitchen with a passive aggressive note on the fridge. It needs motion-sensitive lights that turn off if there's not enough player movement, so anytime you go there, it's always dark and filled with hostile mobs. It needs an office for the manager. The manager needs a mug. It needs an atmosphere of despair. Pure, utter despair.

I love how pro builders gush over other pro builders in these games. It's wholesome like how a little girl loved an idol. That idol loves a bigger idol, and that bigger idol loves an even bigger idol. Just people appreciating one another.

"Did you notice anything strange?" Grian I literally could not focus on anything you said for the first minute and a half because I was so weirded out by the hand being on the wrong side

Scar's frustrated "I hate government" was the most accurate description of how it feels while going to get any work done at government offices.

Your permit office needs a lot of seats in the waiting room with a number system. Have the Hermits pull pieces of paper with high numbers like "100" or "1000", but have a big sign saying "NOW SERVING NUMBER 2". You can also say their paperwork will take up to 3-5 business days to process, but in reality it'll be more like 3-5 months... if they're lucky.

A good question is"have you fish't a mending book while Grian was fishing for one "

Don’t forget the maze of barrier ropes they HAVE to go through. Also maybe the front door opens and closes on its own making it hard to get in. Clutter the whole area with standard bookshelves as well as the new ones to make it look like the office is overflowing with paperwork. Make special item frame items of messy stacks of paper and maybe even spilt coffee

Make IDs for the forms. Special books that are copied to the point that they can’t be copied again, and signed specifically by you, Grian. If they lose their ID? They have to fill out the *replacement forms* and wait for their new ID, which will be delivered through the mail system after *insert the number of days YOU want it to take* days. Someone shows up without their ID? “I’m sorry, but you can’t be allowed to fill out the permit paperwork without your ID.” To really bother people, only ask for the ID halfway through the paperwork.

"Have you added 5 blocks to Iskall's base in the past 5 minutes?"

You should add a "Suggestions and Feedback"-Box with a Book&Quills to leave feedback. And once someone puts feedback in the box they can hear a dropper clicking and the sound of lava burning an item. That would be hillarious.

I love how Skizz just immediately got it lmao As soon as he saw the "Use other door" sign, he just knew exactly how this interaction was going to go

Grian last season: "I am so good at resisting government I have to create a room dedicated to resisting resisting" Grian this season: "I AM THE LAW"

An idea to maximize bureaucratic nightmares, you should create an actual back entrance, but have it lead to a decrepit hallway full of soul sand and cobwebs to make it as painful as possible to get in and once they finally do, have an obscenely long queue zig-zagging around until they finally reach your desk.

Suggestions: What's your horse's mother's maiden name. If you answered yes to question 1 go back to question 1 If you answered no to question 1 go back to question 1 Have you declared any fruit or vegetable upon entering the permit office.

I instantly noticed that the hand was on the wrong side and it was absolutely stressing me out

Permit office ideas: - Have an extremely long zig-zag queue line that people have to walk the entire length of to get to the desk - Get a mailbox hooked up to the permit office that requires people to send in mail for certain things - Set it up so that 1 in 9 things sent to the permit office get "lost in the post" - There should just be a constant flourescant light hum in the background. Just quiet enough to drive people mad. - Permits should be sent out to hermits via the mail system "in your own time". Given the sheer number of permits you're dealing with, it'd be understandable if there was some mix-ups and some people got the wrong permits. - Have an Automated Permit Request System that's always "out of order", and spits out junk permits (Like "Coarse Copperstonebrick") when you try to use it

suggestion: a business hours sign that reads "Open from <a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="295">4:55</a> to <a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="300">5:00</a> on alternating Tuesdays and Fridays not following major holidays, astronomical events, elections, sunrises, and fishing trips. Appointments only."

How does Grian manage to make even the dullest, most boring builds so interesting? It's INCREDIBLE.

What adds to the whole bureaucracy feel the permit office is that you deforested that whole area to build something like this

Few suggestions. -Add screens with ridiculously long estimated wait times. -ask if they have successfully applied for a permit within the last 2 weeks - ask if they have died within the last 4 hours and if so please fill out an ID-10-T form which is just a book requesting a 5 paragraph essay inquiring as to the events leading up to their death and how they intend to learn from it - require they have 2 hermits sign a document claiming they would be interested in the said permit being created - ask if they or anyone they know is associated with big salmon and if so please fill out form SN-1-T and mark yes on subsection CH (This form will be sent expess delivery to Doc) Make a winding queue line with fences only for you to tell them to get a ticket and sit in the waiting area for their ticket to ve called at a separate desk - make a calendar of days the office is closed and make up some bs holidays for every day -ask if they have found and filled out form 404 and never have copies to give them -request if they paid a "service fee" of 5 diamonds and reject the form if they have and return their diamonds with a reprimand for trying to bribe a government employee

To continue the snail prank even further a question could be "Have you've been respectful to the local snails around Hermitcraft? If you have been disrespectful to them let's say, put one on a lone raft in the middle of a river or put them in a poorly built cage then your permit won't be passed until you have apologized to the snail you have wronged"

I wonder if Grain has adhd. Hear me out, <a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="390">6:30</a> *stops to marvel at Bdubs's shop* "anyway, continuing on" *starts ranting about Joel's build* Literally any fishing clip <a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="191">3:11</a> there is so much more even just in the few beginning hermitcraft episodes of season 10, im convinced he has adhd

<a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="1140">19:00</a> what if, for this season, you make the nether hub into a community-plaza/recreational-park/city-square design it would allow for flatter, open spaces that could enable easy accessibility to all of the nether portals, thanks to a reduced number of tunnel-systems, while also managing to look visually appealing

More ideas: - Start giving parking tickets to people's horses randomly. - Require referrals from 5 other hermits when someone asks for a new permit. - Require a proper motivation letter. - Make a big pile of boxes with easter egg titles such as "Complaints about Iskall's chest management", "Evidence of counterfeit diamonds", etc. - Add two villagers behind the counters, one named Tom, other Jeff. Tom has a sign saying "That's Jeff's job", and Jeff has a sign saying "Ask Tom about that". - Take a few coffee mugs from Cleo's shop and place them around the office.

Every time someone tries to use the permit office, they should get a queue number with the highest number possible

"The permit office should be helping people!" Scar sounds like the kind of person who goes to the DMV actually expecting to be helped.

"I hate my permits. They're coarse and they get in everything." My man Scar quoting Star Wars again I love it.

Some simple suggestions: "What is your name?" "What is your quest?" "What is the flight speed of an unladen swallow?" "Please explain how your business would impact the rate at which woodchucks could chuck wood, were they capable of doing so"

"We gotta keep the shopping district in line." Grian... you've become what you swore to destroy... A figure of authority!

Form question suggestions 1) “Have you put hidden TNT under Ethos Dishwasher?” Maybe that one? 2) have you been to the coordinates of (whatever coordinates are) and gave the cat sitting infront of you 3 raw salmons? 3) have you interviewed 3 hermits about their houses and bases and find out what is in their basements?

it took me 2 months but grian just "dominating big time", he said big time while looking at an hour glass. i love this so much

You could add to the book: - Do you have at least 7 signatures from diffrent hermits to prove that there is demand for your product. - Lay out your plan to reduce the ecological footprint of your permit in the upcomming years and how to compensate for the surplus of of produced CO2 for the increased horse rides and elytra flights from all hermits visiting your shop (i.g. planting a tree) - provide a sample of the offered good for quality controle

As a german I am something of an expert on bureaucracy myself, so... the key to a satisfyingly maddening bureaucracy is that every rule needs to have a reason to exist (otherwise you could just ignore the rules and we can't have that). Bureaucracy happens, when you have detailed rules for absolutely everything and absolutely every eventuality and then you need rules on how to deal with the rules and also you need rules on how to deal with contradicting rules and so on. For example: Putting the permit office in the "middle" of the shopping district is a good start. Its not the permit offices fault that the hermits don't follow the agreed upon developement plan. The trees are not there to "hide" the office, they are there to replace the ones that had to be cut down. Which of course means nobody can build a road to the office, because obviously, you can't cut down the replacement trees, otherwise they would need to be replaced. Next there should be some rules regarding the parking lot. Of course you can't just park your horse there, you need a permit. And then you need confirmation that your horse is properly parked before you can continue (you to NEED to park A HORSE properly OTHERWISE you can't continue). And so on. You want a new permit? Then you need to make sure everybody is okay with that (announce it in public, wait for four days or get signed approval from 50+1 % of the hermits). You think a shop is undersupplied? Give the other person time to make a counterstatement, also you need documentation. Everything need to be documented by the way, and every document should to start with the personal data of the customer, because, of course, the parking lot manager can't give out the personal data of the customers to the permit manager and the permit manager can't give them to the complaint manager and so on...

There should be a reference to Asterix en Obelix: De twaalf taken. If you haven't seen that movie you're missing out.

Suggestion: make it a must to send forms and appointment by pearl's post service, then set up a civil lawyer chamber to "help" hermits process their permit but charge them fees to help process (really just chucking the permit in a barrel for a few IRL days before signing it) or charge them a premium to fast-track their permits (putting it in a barrel for 1 or 2 IRL days before signing it)

Permit office suggestion: A waiting room that you make them sit in for 3-5 minutes, with a glass window through which they can clearly see you sitting around and doing nothing, just wasting their time. Holy this many likes!?

Hey Grian, you should us all that space between the door and the desk to make one of those really long rope mazes for people standing in line. Also, a secret door in the floor, where you stand behind your desk for when someone wants complicated help, you have a quick getaway.

"We're not corrupt here. We're just lazy."

<a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="2001">33:21</a> "we said we were gonna self regulate? Well, someones gonna do it-"

Grian, you ought to make the ONLY entrance to the Permit office be 200+ blocks away, maybe in a really unassuming, terrible spot. I.e. put it in a back corner of your Prismarine shop, with a tiny sign saying "DHP Entrance", which leads them down a sterile white-ish hallways underground into the DHP. Anytime anyone wants to meet with you, ask them to meet you in the DHP. If they break blocks to enter, give them a form they have to fill out and maybe a fine of some sort before they can do anything else

You should build a redstone machine to "verifies" the forms, only to have it make a bunch of noise, take a load of time, then spit out a "application denied" paper no matter what they answer.

As a lefty myself I've played Minecraft left-handed for years, basically since they added the option, and I genuinely didn't notice your hands were swapped until you spelled it out! I think I see it often enough while playing myself that I didn't think anything of it, and so many creators I watch just stick to a right-handed character that I don't find that way nearly as odd as righties find southpaw, so it just flew right over my head xD

Low hanging fruit: "Have you fished up a mending book?" And then the follow up - "If yes, how many uses of a fishing rod do you have?" and deny the paperwork if it is lower than your own

-For anyone to submit any paperwork require them to show their Hermit Identification Card. -Have a whole separate form to apply for a Hermit Identification Card and then require processing time for them to actually receive the Hermit Identification Card -Could even require the Hermit Identification card to require other identification that also needs to be applied for -Somewhere make a joke about requiring their Spawn Certificate (Birth Certificate) -Have multiple very similar forms that apply for ever so slightly different things so they'll have to figure out the exact form they'll need or fill out the wrong one multiple times Edit: also consider just putting The Back Rooms under the office building

Last question of a form for a permit should be "Have you filled form G9634BCK before this here form?", and not giving them the form beforehand

"Don't worry little snail. I'll save you." *Proceeds to dismember the snail*

A hilarious question you could add is, "Have you in the last 5 minutes placed 10 blocks on Iskall's base without him knowing?"

“This is real. I am depressed, I am frustrated.” -Skizz Sounds like the permit office is working xD

"I hate my permits. They're coarse, and they get in everything." - Anakin Scarwalker

<a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="1660">27:40</a> the horse garage is for premium customers, to be allowed to use that space you need to fill out said forum (enter another ridiously forum for a hermit to do ) and purposely make it inconvient by only having only one horse able to park at a time. remember we need to make this miserable as an experience as possible lol. edit: also don't forget to tell ppl when they ask about it that you lack funding and are open to donations to help "improve customer support"

Is it just me or is the way Wels talk absolutely adorable? "Oh! Okay" Part especially man.

The ultimate proof of frustrating bureaucracy is when you have multiple forms that depend on each other: Form A has the question "Have you submitted and been approved on form B?" and Form B has "Have you submitted and been approved on Form A?" Or at least requiring 2-3 other forms before form A can be submitted

It's like you've worked in a government office. Q's for you to consider 1. What size plot is your shop going to take? A. What portion of your shop will be above ground? B. What portion of your shop will be made of water? 2. Have you travelled by horse around your proposed plot to ensure it had equine access? 3. Please include your environmental impact assessment with your application. 4. Please include a site map 5. How many hermits will the shop employ? 6. Have you previously submitted, and had accepted form TSMBZ? (this form does not exsist) 7. How far is the furthest Hermit from spawn?

i think "Does your level end in 4?" is a good one, if it does they fail

You could add a whole extra step. You could make them have to present a valid ID to even start the process, so they have to go through all the rigmarole of the book and questions just to get an ID, so they can fill out ANOTHER book full of stupid questions.

You need a labelled chest for "Complaints" to be submitted to, that takes the written book away through redstone and visibly deposits it into a block of lava. Possibly consider alternative chests either side for "Suggestions" and "Completed Forms" that end up in the exact same place. Also a numbered ticket dispenser and a "Next to be Seen" sign with a number on display that changes only once in a blue moon.

Don't forget to leave room for a mailbox in the office! That way you can force hermits to mail in specific forms. Of course not all forms are accepted via mail, and other forms require a mailed-in pre-form to initiate. As a bonus, any issues that arise from having to transfer forms via mail can just be passed off to the post office. :)

One of the things that should be added to the interior is a needlessly long waiting line that is fenced off and blocks off access to the desk. There is no way around, hermits must manually navigate the twists and turns anytime they approach or leave the desk. (Bonus points if it simply loops and never leads to the desk)

No, the motto is "We are always sometimes here to help!"

Grian, you should make the Hermit Permit Office into also a DMV, where people have to get license for any ridable mob and a seperate license for elytra, this would bring more chaos

Permit question ideas: -“How did you get here? By foot, by horse, by flight, by elytra” and if they put flight instead of elytra the permit is rejected because creative mode isn’t allowed on the server -“Have you eaten a pufferfish within the last 24 hours?” If not, the form gets rejected -“How would you rate your experience today out of 10?” -“Which ingredient for a suspicious stew do you find to be most useful?” -“What was the weather in Glasgow a week before you submitted this form?”

"Have you spent at least an hour fishing for mending today?"

Grain: "... the dullest building you've ever seen" Grain: *proceeds to create an amazingly beautiful building with lots of texture and an amazing colour scheme* ah yes... very dull...

The desk being at the very back for no good reason is absolutely perfect. Peak DMV energy.

Four suggestions! a)Please list the coordinates of your last 5 hermitcraft bases b) Please list your annual per-season income using the adjusted Diamond to sand ratio c) list your employment history over the past 4 seasons d) are you now or have you ever been associated with “shad-e-e’s” or any of its affiliates

You could add the question "Have you broken bedrock, died in the Void or eaten pufferfish within 20 minutes of each other?"

Hermitcraft 9: Super fast highway that was used once Hermitcraft 10: "Oh DuDe, HoRsE hOlEs!" Also, idea: block off the entrance with literal red tape until the door is ready to use. sorry if its unoriginal tho

There's something poetic about a government building being built out of bone blocks and fungus

"Because *bureaucracy* is super *fun*" -Grian, professional war starter

A question could be "Please write 2 paragraphs on real life electrical safety."

Bdubs: * finishes the back of a building * Grians head: * explodes *

Would be funny if a hermit were to have parked their horse in the horse pit or the garage, when they're about to leave, give them a fine or a penalty for some wacky reason like "Horse's well-being was not regularly checked during your visit"

"Have you started a Mycelium Infestation as of recent?"

"THEY'RE COARSE AND THEY GET INTO EVERYTHING" !?! Scar pulls out prequel reference and makes it seem like a natural part of conversation

Grian when you are being the permit officer you should switch being left handed, to put people of even more.

Idea: - A question in the middle of the MJYAAFK06 form could be, "Are you having second thoughts of proceeding to submit this form?" - The very last question could be "How would you describe your experience at the DHP (You must not give an honest answer)" - An actually important question "Get at least two people to sign you applicaton who would genuinely buy you product"

“In the event that you die in the DHP you will not hold the DHP accountable in any way shape or form”

As someone who has had to deal with _so_ many government departments in the last 2 years, I find how the dhp works to be not only hilarious, but sadly way too accurate. (Now, if there's ever another government depart that opens, there has to be absolutely ZERO communication between them for maximum frustration (and accuracy))

Though it may be time consuming, I would suggest building a second, smaller 'Hermit Permit Office Complaints Department' on the other side of the shopping district, which is boarded up and marked as 'closed due to budget cuts'. Redirect any complaints about the Permit Office and its procedures to this building.

DHP suggestion: Have a ticket system that gives out tickets (named papers) to hermits with really high numbers while a counter of some kind (decorative not functional) on the desk has an extremely low number (under 10 or something) It would be really funny to have hermits come in and get a high number ticket, only to have a low number called out "I'm ticket number 95 Grian" "That's awesome, take a seat. Now calling number 2"

You should have had one of the questions be “Have you detained any snails in the last two episodes?”

“Have you ever tried to catch a cloud?” (Whisper, “Asking for a friend” if they read the question aloud.)

Permit question suggestions: - "Please list the three blocks you will use the most in the construction of your shop." - "Have you asked at least three other hermits if they would purchase this item?" - "Have you told someone you care about that you care about them recently?" (EDIT: Reject the form if they start talking about this while filling it out) - "Can the item be contracted to a point on a manifold that is NOT a 3-sphere?" - "How big is the moon?" (Mark it incorrect if they don't simply say "big".) - "Have you already retrieved the Holy Grail?" - "Please list your favorite fictional letter of the alphabet." - "Is the item Turing complete?" (If it is, reject it HARD) - "Please list all artificial dyes, flavorants, and preservatives that will be used in this product." - "Please select a sequence of 16 random numbers between 0-9 (inclusive)" (If they select 2, or any non-whole numbers, reject it) - "Have you hidden three surprise gifts for a friend underneath their nether portal?" - "Please combine two idioms to create a new one." - "Have you visited the Chamber of Sea Critters to marvel at its glorious artwork and statues?" - "Have you filled out forms BLLLVGOAT-09 and MWITDZDTL-10?" (Buttercups Live Laugh Love Versus Grind Optimize Automate (S9), Mumbo Walked Into The Danger Zone Due To Llama (S10))