Yeah, man, time flies and it's sad. :/

Oh god we're all already dead

😮 So True...

Time moves faster now.

Great movie

I loved this film. It was so mysterious and a great adventure. People are always spoilt brats who either give 10s or 1s. Now they are getting what they deserve 😁

@@Genevasplaytime you can enjoy it, but it's a bad movie.

@@SierraSierraFoxtrot Well comparatively speaking it isnt. If bad is a 4 and good is a 6 i would say this is a 7 or 8, and seeing as it is a 7 on imdb taken from 570k votes id say that the world agrees. Alien covenant however is a bad movie.

@@Genevasplaytime that peopke don't know good from bad is not news.

@@SierraSierraFoxtrot So what rating would you give it?

The keyword is naive.

Im happy this comment was found after the fact lol.

@@sjz1925 11:45

I don't know what video it's in, but just remembering that Ridley Scott quote on his director's cut of Bladerunner - and him putting in the footage of the unicorn - it's extremely funny that Jay would call him a 'smart filmmaker'.

@@JigglePhysics3000 Filmmaker, not screenwriter lol. Ridley Scott makes extraordinarily confusing plot choices in almost all his films, however, his directing style is almost always consistently good. He makes great looking films, but stupid, inconsistent and misleading fucking screenplays.

Why measure space in miles and not light years?

@@lorddevilfish5868 Cos she doesn't care about space, she doesn't want to be in space. She's only there because of the conflict with her dad. Did you notice she doesn't take a single step off the ship until she has to eject?

I love that Prometheus takes place on Jupiter.

Only if it lands scarily

@@TrueNubinator right, like the 2 said: no conclusions and only introduction of new ideas like Lost. RLM makes me glad that I didn't watch Lost but I'd watch Prometheus to see the closest thing to an ending. I don't mind if we are left with nothing like Children of Men but have an artistic reason not just intros to new ideas.

Psycho Mantis?

LIQUID!

A Red Spy is in the base!?

Questions?!

"They fly now?", "They fly now."

Fuck you! I wanted to say that

McLarenMercedes Gonna change your name to McLarenHonda now? Sad to see the team doing so poorly this season. Not gonna get better for them until the 2017 rule changes I don't think either.

Two Idiots² My guess is McLarenHonda is already taken and it was McLarenMercedes for 20 rather successful years (78 wins). Yeah, they are humiliated now getting their asses kicked by everybody else despite having two champion drivers. George Lucas was at Silverstone btw. I wonder if he was giving Bernie Ecclestone any ideas how to run a business empire? Or maybe he's fascinated by the discovery that there actually is a real-life emperor Palpatine. :) Too many yes-men around both of them. Everything I know about the Star Wars prequals and George Lucas I learned from RedLetterMedia. Lucas at least had the decency to step down and sell SW to Disney. If there's no change soon I'll send Bernie some pizza rolls.

McLarenMercedes Ha! I saw George in one of the garages during the race weekend too, I guessed he was probably in the Mercedes GP guest area. F1 was probably his inspiration for the Phantom Menace 'Pod Race'; Maldonado as Jar Jar Binks and Hamilton as the whiny young Anakin. I had actually never thought of Bernie as so similiar to the emperor, but they're so alike! Great comparison lol

you guys forgot to mention X-men Days of Future Past

and the crucial lesson of "if you meet strange space snake-penis-vagina creature, obviously you get close and try to play with it" also, *DING*

I don't know. I'd give him a half point deduction for referencing Cinema Sins. That channel is annoying.

You'd remove a sin?

Not sure I fully understand what you're asking, ehcmier. I'm just saying that, if we're playing by Xenovista's rules, I'd remove a half point for referencing Cinema Sins because I think that channel is annoying. Has nothing to do with removing "sins" from the movie itself.

It made more sense if you knew he was a poisonous snake handler but like everything vital to the plot it got edited out.

@@RemixedVoice the biggest difference with Jay's appearance is he grew decent facial hair.

paul, "just" started to be precise about hair and facial hair and started to go to gym and be precise about healthy eating. all in all takes actual effort when combined.

@Paul Johnson Wait, I do both of those regularly.

We prefer ‘HillWilliam’ actually

Looking like the youngest Klopek.

Prometheus is a stupid movie that thinks it's smart.

@Adrijana Radosevic I agree, you pretty much nail it. One thing, though: "But... those are truckers transporting ore and materials. It's OK that they're dumb, do stupid shit, get unwilling and rebellious, and just wanna end this and go home." They really weren't all that stupid. They made decisions with very little knowledge and about things far outside their expertise or expectations, and honestly did fairly well. They were simply never going to survive that encounter once they breached protocol, and even that is only obvious in retrospect. It's hard to say how rare this kind of alien situation is in the universe because we see so little of it, but it seems safe to say it's completely unexpected. The really bad decisions in Alien are made _on purpose_ by someone with malicious (or at least indifferent) intent. Everyone else is left reacting. Prometheus, by contrast, has people making amateur mistakes, in their relative fields of expertise, which would be mistakes even if everything they encounter were no more unusual than what they're prepared for on Earth. That's what makes them stupid anti-scientists. If you ask a trucker what a "polymerase chain reaction" is and they don't know, that doesn't make them an idiot. If you ask a bio-chemist what "polymerase chain reaction" is and _they_ don't know, it probably _does_ make them an idiot. Likewise if I were to ask them both about the maximum load of space ore the Nostromo can hold, I expect the expertise to fall the other way. In Alien, no one on the Nostromo seemed ignorant of their jobs, in fact they attempted to use the ship's environment and its facilities to their advantage and one of them even managed to survive. That's a pretty good recommendation when the group of experts did no better than the space truckers, and in fact did far worse by putting themselves in harm's way at every opportunity. We see the crew of the Prometheus, as a direct result of ignoring their training and presumed knowledge, _create_ every threat to their lives in the film except the storm.

Lindelof is a sh*tty "Mystery Box" writer. Here's how "Mystery Box" writing works. This is how JJ/Lindelof write ALL their movies: 1) Raise several questions, including one "deep" question and several boring questions. 2) When the time comes in the story to answer the "deep" question: a) Answer the boring question instead. b) Don't answer the question at all. c) Postpone answering the question. ("A good question. For another time.") 3) Audience remembers that you raised the important question. Thinks that the movie was "deep." Forgets that you didn't answer it. 4) Repeat forever. 5) Profit. "Prometheus" is a perfect example of it. This movie sets up questions about faith and humanity's place in the universe. Faith is central to Shaw, the movie's main character, and it's clear that her character growth will revolve around the answer to that question. She is going to learn something on this trip that will either reinforce her beliefs or deeply shake them. When we finally meet the Engineer in the movie and see his violent reaction to humans, Shaw raises the obvious audience question: "Why do you hate us! Why do you want to kill us?" This is the answer the movie has been building up to from the beginning and it REALLY matters once we find out that the Engineer's ship contains bio-weapons meant for Earth. You finally meet your creators and learn that they want to KILL YOU. That's a profound, terrifying idea. A much more interesting idea that the one Lindelof come up with. But Lindelof didn't know how to answer that question (or he simply didn't care). So instead of getting the answer to the profound question, we get "Weyland wants more life" instead. I think that is so f*cking lazy and disappointing. And audiences fall for this bait-and-switch storytelling all the time. They think the movie was "deep" (because it asked a deep question) but they can't remember WHY it was deep (because that question was never answered).

@@KneelB4Bacon Absolutely.

@@revalution1965 When your own creators show you that they want to KILL YOU, that's a question that has to be answered right now. Was creating humans a mistake? If so, why was it a mistake? They can't just say, "a good question, for another time" here. The whole movie has been building up to the answer to that question. You can fully answer those questions without turning the Engineer into an exposition dump during a single scene. Drop hints at several points during the movie that things are not going to go the way the crew of the Prometheus expect. But Lindelof was too lazy to do this, so instead of answering that question, he has Weyland give the Engineer his, "I created David so we are both like the Gods" speech, as if that was his plan all along. The Engineer responds by ripping David's head off and killing Weyland. Why? That makes no sense. If anything, the Engineer should be amused that this minimally-evolved monkey is try to tell him that they are both equals. It's no reason to wipe out an entire race. The Engineer is acting like he's responding to the original, unanswered question (you humans need to die and here's why). It's confusing as hell.

Swinny amen

@@somercet1 We know these things, yes. But that happened on another planet... and we only know that the queen laid the eggs because of James Cameron's sequel. Not becase of stupid dumb dumb Ridley

@sgt dornan He really does seem to subscribe to the school of thought where intentionally making something inconsistent so that it becomes an irresolvable mystery without a solution is "good" and legitimately "though-provoking". At least some portion of the audience is sufficiently impressed by this to agree, but I find it vacuously pretentious and more akin to the storytelling version of a con-man's shell game.

eh

As for Covenant, that’s just flat bad

Arvin Nassiri Plus he's hot.

More like Michael Slowstraightener

Steven Loving ???

Are you guys talking about Mouth Flushxander?

Gotta agree here. I love Mitchell Foxhounder.

I’d argue he got it started back with New Nightmare. The movie is a little flawed, but it is definitely the progenitor for Scream. All the meta horror has its beginnings in New Nightmare.

Also George Miller with Mad Max: Fury Road

@@ElArto95 With none other than Charlize Theron!

Shaw ran to the side. Then the ship fell on her. This picture brought us the School of Nitpickers Who Are the Only People on the Planet Who Expect a Spaceship to Roll Instead of Crash.

Came to make that exact comment, and they make a similar one in the Fury Road review. He mastered what he started with decades ago.

To be honest I wasn't that thrilled with Fury Road. It's still probably better than the first and third movies though. It's just it will never touch Road Warrior in my heart and mind.

Yeah, but this review was before Fury Road. Can you think of any other directors pre-Fury Road?

Solid point. There definitely isn't an example for that movie.

☆☆☆☆☆

Prometheus is undefendable but Ridley Scott was defendable till the Covenant came out. I would not try to deffend Prometheus because I think this movie is a terrible sci-fi, but the guy is more like a horror guy than a sci-fi guy. He likes some weird shit what very few people like.

Exactly. If you are making a war movie, you have to have actors who can act like soldiers or it just doesn't work. This is a movie about scientists who don't act at all like scientists.

This film is so bad its funny and depressing at the same time.

"The person who came up with those ideas" was Damon Lindelof. If you read the original script before they brought him in to Script Doctor the whole thing (Script Doctor Kevorkian would be more accurate), no one was _this_ stupid. Characters had motivations, and made only a few mistakes. It was a fairly ordinary script, but it wasn't _boneheaded_ with a grudge against scientists and basic epistemology. The problem apparently was that it tied directly into Alien as a prequel, and at some point they decided to file off the planet designation and change the alien mutations so that nothing lines up (even though it still does, making it into a weird case of things being suspiciously similar for no in-universe reason), and while he was at it he massacred the rest. We never see any of these top men and women in their fields be good at their jobs, we only see them fail, and in trivial ways. So when they fail, it doesn't seem like they were unprepared for an astonishing situation, it feels like they all failed upward into their positions and were too Dunning-Kruegered to notice. But the movie insists that this isn't the case and that they're brilliant people, so instead of telling an interesting story about flawed people, the script is lying to us and constantly kicking down the fourth wall to get to the next plot point on the other side. And the worst part is the Lindelof appears to believes his own tripe. Both in defense of this and other scripts he's ruined, he claims that these flaws, plotholes, character mishandlings, and downright lazy storytelling leave things up to the audience to fill in the blanks and makes it _good_ by being poor. It's the old "my art isn't bad, it's just too smart for everyone but me!" excuse. He doesn't leave questions to make people think, people are left questioning it because he left obvious holes that don't make sense to be left unfilled. At best, his view is a very pragmatic one (like Alex Kurtzman's): that any kind of success is sufficient to justify the work. He intentionally wrecks a script because it causes a meta-discussion about the work and he views _that_ as a success, not whether people are enjoying the work itself. That's a Hollywood version of the social media "engagement" metric of success...

... Eh

@@idrinkmilk282 He didn't call it "the worst movie" just a piece of crap, which it is. Of course there are worse movies, but it's a gold plated turd.

I Drink Milk Can you even read?!

Extrapolate how dumbed-down stupid, naive and sheltered future generations would become. Think late millennials and gen Z. A LOT of them would act like that NOW. So you gotta figure it would only get worse in the future, presuming the Society hadn't collapsed.

That’s okay. Stallone had already pulled it off twice.

@@JediBunny lol So he is like Ridley Scott.

The 'meeting the creator' thing has been overdone in sci fi. What I found interesting is that the movie set it up that Shaw was 100% sure that she'd stumbled onto a way to find our creators, but the evidence doesn't back it up. I was hoping that _Covenant_ would reveal how wrong she was, but _Covenant_ just ran back to the mediocrity of a standard 'dumb crew killed by monster' and even had it ejected into space at the end just like _Alien_ , _Aliens_ , and _Alien Resurrection_ .

It would have been cool if the creators were kind of friendly and questioning the humans (albeit with worrying discoveries by the humans while this happens, like biological weapons being developed). At the same time, the humans are trying to get answers to their questions but the creators only give cryptic answers and want to know more about life on Earth before they give more details. Then, the more the creators find out about life on Earth (religious wars etc) they decide that they made a mistake and secretly try to launch a fleet to destroy Earth. Somehow the humans find out but they are split as to whether they need to convince the creators they are wrong or violently stop them.

I had some further thoughts about this in the shower that flesh it out into a more or less complete story. Let's say early on after they land, they discover that snake monster and grab it for analysis (they later figure out it's a genetically engineered weapon, possibly in a horrible way). They also notice a large number of casks that don't seem to have moved in decades. One is broken with a snake sizes hole and markings make it seem likely these cannisters store the weapons for later activation. Some of the cannisters are larger. Later on, after talks with the engineer break down somewhat, they notice the casks are gone. They try to surreptitiously figure out where and trace them to a cave complex. They find a space ship launching complex in there, with the ships obviously loaded with the cannisters. The humans argue. Some try to go back to the engineer, say they know what is going on and it isn't right to launch those weapons on billions of mostly innocent people. A villain speech ensues, followed by a fight. The engineer seems defeated and spills the beans, revealing it was a rogue engineer (zealot?) who stole genetic material and sacrificed himself on Earth to start life there. The cave drawings were a warning, not an invitation. The engineer then managed to get up and kill/subdue the humans. The others realise they haven't come back, something is going down and plan an assault to take out the ships, cobbling up whatever they can to use as weapons. They go to the cave and are met by multiple armoured engineers. Epic fight ensues, the engineers are defeated but most of the humans are dead or disabled. The remainder carry on into the cave. They find the ship preparing to take off with the earlier engineer on board. Their weapons can't scratch the ship. One of them reveals he/she actually lied about their background to get onto the mission. They are actually a hacker. They manage to connect to an umbilical cord going to the ship with a fibre optic cable. Sniffing the data, they see it's mostly garbage but there is a repeating pattern. They try to plot the numbers in various ways on a 3D field and realise it's a map to Earth. They can't just put garbage since the engineer will realise, so instead they change it to a planet far from Earth where they figure it won't do harm. They sneak out and see the ship take off. The few humans left bug out but are not sure they can find their way back to Earth since the navigator is dead but they'll try. The engineer's ship destination - the planet from Alien. End movie.

The movie doesn't even fascinate me conceptually. I can't think of an interesting idea it brought to mind or an interesting question it posed. And frankly, even if I could, when a movie is this bad I don't really care about what it has to say anyway.

Faeces*

Ha. Good one. :)

+WDGcentral0224 Well hello there.

Tell me, what'd you get out of Alien Covenant? I heard they basically threw all the answers in the garbage.

For me it just seemed like the Aliens evolved naturally on their world. The last mother laid some eggs to incubate during a period of low food availability to reemerge during the next cycle on the planet when food would be more prevalent.

Paths a great great film

No, the correct analogy to gasoline, as a fuel, would be deuterium or tritium. The dilithium crystals are more like the spark plugs, or perhaps an alternator; they regulate the matter/antimatter reaction which powers the ship, but aren't the source of the power itself... Uh, sorry.

John Shafer Even better was Charles Crichton coming back with the heist comedy A Fish Called Wanda 37 years after The Lavender Hill Mob.

"a group of supposed top-of-their-field scientists and experienced crewmen" Why did you assume that? Cos Weyland is rich enough to _afford_ to hire the best of the best? Well yes he is. But remember he was so paranoid and secretive about this that he a) pretended to be dead, and b) had Vickers hire the crew on the basis of 'take the money, ask no questions, we'll tell you when we get there' . The ' best of the best' have better job prospects than to sign up for a mystery mission of unknown risk. So, who took the offer? The bottom of the barrel, Janek, Milburn, Fifield, and the rest of the _Ship of Fools_ . To make it worse, they were led by a trillionaire grasping at straws to avoid death, and a relgiious fanatic who ignored caution, ignored any clues that didn't fit with what she 'chooses to believe'. Janek can fly a ship, but he is lazy and disinterested. Land over there? Sure, why not... no need to do a fly by, send a drone, or zoom in on that line of Domes... Cos if he _did_ they would have noticed a giant curved skull on the roof with a human skull face. They wouldn't know it's a Xeno skull, but it's the type of thing that would take some of the enthusiasm out of the 'lets rush in and open our presents' idea from Holloway. I actually thought that was an interesting line to take... in all previous Alien movies, someone has screwed over Ripley and her friends trying to get this thing as a potential bioweapon... so what if we show that the Xeno always _was_ a bioweapon, and then have a bunch of humans stumble across it, but they're too dumb to figure it out, and think they've found a benevolent race who created humans and might help us... rather than visiting Earth just to snatch up tribal humans as _raw material_ , and as breeding stock for slaves to do the dirty work in the lab. Prometheus is _Frankenstein_ In Space. In fact, the full title of Mary Shelley's 1818 book is "Frankenstein : The Modern Prometheus" Shaw even uses electricity to reanimate a dead head into thinking "It's alive" . I thought it was ambitious, but very flawed in execution. The characters were dumber and more annoying than they needed to be. Particularly the death of Milburn and Fifield, could have been set up as an ambush rather than petting the damned snake. I suspect they were trying to milk another mythological reference, of being enchanted / tempted by the serpent. They were already gilding the lily with having those two approach the altar... one with defective sight, and the other having tattoos and having shaved the hair of his temples. (Leviticus prohibits that, in 22:3 which could be the reason the writers picked the name LV 223 for this moon)

@@jimbobeire "yeah, what he said" - Ridley Scott probably

There were scenes cut and/or not filmed that explained how Charlize Theron’s character purposely hired an incompetent crew (aside from the bridge crew) to undermine the mission bc she resented her father and thought it was all ridiculous. Idris Elba’s character would’ve commented on how the scientists were basically idiots and she would’ve acknowledged it being true. Also explains why she was so cranky. Should’ve kept that stuff in…

+James Brincefield double fail

+Griffin1171 I think Mike realized that in his response.

watching the movie, I thought the same thing. Why not just have an old man do the part?

Especially when Peter O'Toole was still alive at the time. He'd make a perfectly good old Guy Pearce.

Seeing it for the first time and I'm crying! 🤣

Ridley Scott tried answering this in the past, he claims the reason the Prometheus ship has such advanced tech is because this is Weyland's personal project that he put a shit load of money into, while the Nostromo in Alien was just a cheap tug boat, basically. But that still doesn't make sense, since it takes place 88 years before Aliens, so why does that tech not even exist in a huge military ship? The military would definitely have that tech almost a century later. The real answer is simply that Ridley Scott changes his mind constantly and he doesn't care about plot holes.

Because alien was made in the 70s and aliens was made in the 80s… There did I answer your question.

@@BlackWolf-el3gu no, it didn't. I know the answer. Scott is kind of a dumbass as it pertains to how his ships should look. period.

I guess they thought that if they'd make a movie that looks like it was made in the 60's people wouldn't like to look at it on our modern age.

Just watch it 5 more times and maybe you'll finally understand the genius of ridley scott's vision.

old3nglish _ yyyyyyyyyyyeah.... I could watch it five more times... I could...

feels good to be stupid

Relax for a start

Prometheus wasn't that unique and Covenant was a laughable and lazy attempt at being more of the same, that's the real issue. Both films failed at the scripts.

That movie was bottom of the barrel trash. Everyone associated with the movie was lowered as a result.

​@@CatMandianoit was great

"Fury" Road. ....though I'm sure the spin-off movie "Furios(a) Road " would be great as well.

so true

mathmusicstructure No. Holloway was a fucking cunty performance.

The script was decent in terms of the overall events of the story. Where it gets really muddled is the life cycle of the Alien. I get the impression that the black goo tries to turn the reprpductive system into a queen / face hugger producers. And I figure after that, the life cycle goes on just like in the Alien films. But if that's true, they should've fleshed it out more with some sort of exposition, maybe from David. My little theory is based on a lot of assumptions and inference. A good script would have taken care of that.

mathmusicstructure I read the original script, and though it wasn't a philosophical movie of any sort, it was really good. Would have liked to see it put to film.

***** He ruined Lost and still managed to make a script for a movie like this? Damn Hollywood.

She got shafted in Prometheus too. Bow chicka wow wow

+Mr. EsaysFU The surgery scene, the exploding resurrected head scene, the rolling ship scene...you could seriously convince me that this was a Sam Ramie film.

Where did he say that? The Covenant video?

@@JosephDavies In one of the trillions of hours of PReviously Recorded streams he was in.

@@Rocketboy1313 Ah, thanks.

+aussie4life05 Congratulations. The first step is admitting you have a problem.

Wolfatadoor in fairness, Mike DID admit he never watched it. Jay on the other hand, was "BIG" into it, apparently, smh lmfao

Didn't one of them get kind of split in two by the writers strike, though?

And they were all shite.

George Miller. Mad Max Fury Road.

Nah, not really with Lynch

S3 wasn't as good as 1 and 2.

even a 5 year old would feel insulted by the level of stupidity in this movie

Me