You know what's even longer than this brownie recipe? The list of HAI topic suggestions from viewers like you, but since we're such a content machine, we still need more! Therefore, be part of our mission to become one of the least ethical big-tech companies around and suggest us new topics and, as a tiny, meaningless reward, we'll ship you a free HAI t-shirt if we use your suggestion: docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfUdlvw6YgU44J8AnM2U_ZvRMyvh_CUM51LYSqF5nYJB9d1-w/viewform?usp=sf_link

I’m not going to lie. When you said you couldn’t tell us the whole recipe, I 100% expected parts of it to be classified.

You'll never get my 9,001 page kimchi recipe

"14 to 16 grams per square inch"... Bloody hell America, sort yourself out.

Correction: I've talked to a few vets who have recounted fighting over the brownies, they aren't bad. I've also seen a few posts online from service members recounting their battles... of trying to snag the tastiest MRE.

"Basically, it’s the same color guideline the TSA uses for people." I haven't seen a burn that intense since the last gender reveal party.

MRE’s are actually really good at keeping hackers out. I mean, have you ever heard of an MRE being hacked?

An additional caveat to the length and extremely specific nature to writing directions to be used in production. The goal to writing directions for mass production is so that the least capable employee can produce the most consistent results - assuming directions were explicitly followed. In an undergrad class for product development, we had to write instructions for brushing your teeth to be given and followed by a class mate, the instructions were to be followed as though you understood English and could follow directions very literally, and nothing more. The shortest A grade in the class was like 3 pages, and still operated on ‘too many assumptions’.

The broken down MRE you showed at 3:30 - Menu 10: Chili Mac is actually very good, no better nor worse than canned Chef Boyardee. That said, some of the menus are truly, truly hauntingly awful; The Menu 4: Cheese and veggie omelet is something you would rather starve yourself than consume.

"SARGE WE NEED THE TACTICAL BROWNIE!" "I'M ONLY ON PAGE 2 YOU'LL HAVE TO WAIT A FEW MINUTES!"

If you've never eaten an MRE you'd be legitimately surprised how absolutely decent they are.

Two friends of mine said MRE means "Meals Ready to Excrete." Having been given a few by them, I can attest that is a good description.

My uncle brought me some MREs when he got out of the military and they aren't THAT bad. It's basically on par with any canned/frozen meal you'd buy for cheap. Stay away from stuff that wouldn't be good if it was coming out of a can. Noone should expect instant meatloaf to be good but you can't go wrong with what is basically a lunchables pizza.

“mr president, they’ve found the brownie recipe” “dear god, we’re all fucked”

"Basically the same colour guide the TSA uses for people" Bruh, I just about spit out my coffee.

“If the circle inside is lighter than the ring itself, the food is good! If it’s the same color, the food is most likely good. If it’s darker, the food is bad. Basically, it’s the same color guide the TSA uses for people.” That was the hardest I’ve ever laughed at a joke on this channel.

Some of the modern MREs are actually pretty tasty. Slippy Joe's, macaroni and chili, and spaghetti with meat chunks are my favorites. The almond poppyseed pound cake and cornbread are also tasty. Vanilla dairy shakes are great mixed with rum

MRE brownies aren't actually as bad as this video makes them sound, they're just dry and crumbly.

MRE’s aren’t actually that bad as most people say they are It just depends entirely on what MRE you get Some people love certain ones while universally despising the rest

I no joke absolutely LOVE MRE's, my uncle brought me one as a kid and I never stopped annoying him to bring me more. I was surprised to learn people don't like them

I was in AJROTC my first year of highschool (then I moved and my new school didn't have ROTC), and we had a camping trip where we got MREs for lunch. The quality of the Meals Ready to Eat is, while not a home-cooked meal made with fresh ingredients, nowhere near as terrible as most people seem to think. Provided you follow the included instructions, you can make a decent meal out of a single MRE package, and a standard-issue one quart canteen of water. Generally, you put a bit of your water into a water-activated heat pack, heat the food, and eat it. It provides all the nutrition you need, is easy to carry and store, and lasts for between three and a half years, though they are usually eaten within six months to a year. The reason why MREs get such a bad rep is because, when you are deployed, that is your lunch, every day, for months. Some flavors are better than others, and those generally get eaten first, so by the end of the crate you are stuck with the worst flavors that can only barely be favorably compared to cardboard.

"It's the same color guide that the TSA uses for people" Oh my

"Meal, Ready to Eat", which, as Tom Clancy once pointed out, is three lies for the price of one.

MRE is Mr. E...mystery. If you don’t like them, you just aren’t hungry enough. 😇

About the MRE thing, I can't help to think about what Tom Paxton sang in "Talking Vietnam" "A lovely dinner they planned for us With a taste like a seat on a crosstown bus. Some of the veterans left theirs in the cans For the Viet Cong to find. . . Deadlier than a land mine." (it's not in Ochs ' original version)

"meals rejected by everyone" steve1989 would like a talk

The specification of the eggs is interesting as it still doesn't seem to actually specify to use chicken eggs. Unless of course some of the other referenced guidelines include that specification

If anyone's interested in making this, I've distilled the recipe into something more kitchen-friendly: Brownie ingredients 184 g sugar 168 g flour 134.4 g copha (or butter) 128 g nuts (almonds and/or pecans and/or walnuts), chopped into small pieces 2 large eggs 44 g cocoa 35.2 g dextrose, anhydrous (glucose syrup) 0.24 g salt 1. Whip eggs in large bowl on high speed until light and fluffy 2. Combine sugars, cocoa, salt, and leavening; add to beaten eggs, and whip on high speed until thick 3. Add copha slowly while mixing on low speed 4. Scrape bowl and whip on high speed until thick 5. Mix flour, nuts and flavours together and fold into batter; mix until uniform 6. Pour into pan 7. Bake at 177 C for 30-45 mins 8. Cover with uniform chocolate coating Coating ingredients 64 g cocoa powder 96 g nonfat dry milk 240 g butter 1.6 g egg yolk 388 g sugar 1 g salt 0.5 g vanilla extract Heat together at 67 C for 30 mins Cut coated brownie into rectangles 3.5 in (8.89 cm) by 2.5 in (6.35 cm) by 5/8 in (1.588 cm)

As somebody in the Army, modern MRE's actually aren't that bad. It's just kind of an outdated joke that we keep around. While there are certain ones that I won't touch with a 15 foot pole (looking at you Creamy Spinach Fettuccine), most are actually decent, or dare I say, good. There was even a time in training when we were being served field chow (cafeteria food that's been put into travel containers to be served where ever the unit is) but the Drill Sergeants said we weren't gonna have enough for everybody and that they need 10 volunteers to eat MRE's, and almost all of the remaining fifty people volunteered.

When I was in high school, I had a business selling MRE's. I'd sell them to all the outdoors people I knew (they're good for hikes) and to some doomsday preppers. They actually aren't that bad, unless you're in the military and that's all you have to eat for a while.

Wait a minute, this isn’t about bricks.

3:10 Or my favorite: "MRE three lies for the price of one".

I was in the USAF. MREs were amazing. Everyone I've talked to who's had MREs agreed with me that they were awesome. We've talked about where we can buy more. I don't have any idea what MREs people have been eating that were gross.

‘Meals rejected by Ethiopia’ That’s actually pretty funny

Normal people: Join the army to help the nation. Us, wise viewers of Half as Interesting: Join the army to learn how to bake brownies.

1:53 Lol when you said it explains eggs over 6 pages, I assumed they would explain what is the function of the egg in the recipe, and any suitable substitute for it, so the meal is capable of being made in situations of austerity or low supplies - not that they actually have 6 pages of specs of what kind of color shape and granulation the egg should be.

I love how you managed to make your video resemble the recipe: Both get to the baking part after one third. The rest is HAI.

*HAI:* "Meals Rejected by Everyone" *Steve1989 and every KZfaqr reviewing MREs:* dafuq

This feels similar to the International Standard Cup of Tea that Tom Scott made.

The recipe actually being written in the format of a federal standard spec sheet is the best thing I've ever seen.

"basically, its the same colour guide that the tsa uses for people"

While salt is hydrophilic the word you're looking for is hygroscopic: water-absorbing.

4:40 Who made this chart? Why did they put the dependent variable on the horizontal axis? Why is it a bar chart? The world may never know.

MRE recipes are first and foremost, contracting documents. The sad truth is that is what it takes to keep most contractors reasonably honest. Even then, it doesn't always work. You made a fair shot at the point that MREs are designed to be combat rations -- to keep you functioning under some of the worst conditions possible. In case you hadn't noticed, Door Dash et al do not normally deliver in combat zones, so as much as you might prefer a fresh Danish from your favorite bakery, I guarantee it would be pretty sad by the time it got to Fallujah (or more recently, somewhere in the woods in Poland).

I contracted for the US Air Force for a year or two... they do indeed document everything to the nth degree. I actually enjoyed that, and took that experience to future jobs in the IT field. It may seem excessive, but lots of documentation is better than none at all.

Russia: we have military grade tanks America: we have military grade brownies

I thought those were bricks in the thumbnail. Disappointed

"And multiple paragraphs explaining what eggs are" Ah, the most important part of a military brownie ration recipe.

As someone who was in the Canadian Air Cadets, I can say that MRE's (That look identical to the ones in this video, but might be different, IDK,) very WILDLY in quality. I distinctly remember loving and saving the brownies, making trades with other Cadets, and some meals being universally hated by everyone. Would definitely have MRE's again.

HAI: “MRE’s taste bad” Steve MRE: “I can’t believe you’ve done this”

Imagine classifying a document that is 26 pages long, is almost too specific, and it's not even for the tastiest brownie ever. In that case, a tasty brownie should be a 500 page long recipe.

I loved the way they taste. If I could afford to buy military MREs sense I've been out of service, I would.

That TSA joke was probably the best joke you've ever made

It's because they can legally invade anyone's country if the country creates their own brownie recepie

The Army: One of the most important thing a soldier can be is flexible. Also The Army: We can only make brownies ONE WAY! All other ways are unacceptable!

You know, the fact they have specification actually didn't blow my mind. It's perfectly normal for something mass produced to have multiple page of recipe. What blows me away is that we didn't have the answer to third question yet.

The US MRE is not that bad tasting honestly, even more so when compared to other countries MRE's but they actually cause a lot of diarrhea or constipation depending on who you ask. We usually call them meal ready to exit or meal refusing to exit, never heard personnally about the other nicknames.

I've heard MREs referred to as "Meals Ready to Exit" due to their effect on the digestive system

My dad’s favorite is, “Meals Ready to Expel.”

this man put all his points in charisma and editing amazing

Right after watching this video I went and got a pdf of the recipe, I'm gonna try it out as soon as I can.

"Which is too boring even for our channel" DAYM

MREs are bad, here's some cadet recipes to make them better: Field mocha: two instant coffees and a hot chocolate powder Peanut butter and jelly sandwich: peanut butter packet, grape jelly, and wheat snack bread (or tortilla) Bear juice: every fruit beverage powder mixed into one shot, taken to induce cardiac arrest Apple maple oatmeal + tortilla is a lifesaver. Makes it much more palatable. Chocolate chip cookie + peanut butter is also a great option If you've ever wondered what it feels like to have your intestines dried out like cat gut cello strings, just eat 3 wheat snack breads and no water. Bon appétit

someone brought a bunch of MREs to my cooking class in school and honestly I loved them. i’ve had the brownies too. not great but edible. I even brought several home

so glad u posted this vitil info!

"The same color guide the TSA uses" made me laugh

I really don't mind most MRE's. However, there is a special place in hell for the guy who thought the 'Veggie Omlet' was a good MRE idea.

I wonder how many people got the shade you threw at the justice dept when you were mentioning the TTI. That was pretty good. Your jokes are always subtle but pack a literal punch lol

That opening to this video is golden.

I wanna see how Gordon Ramsay reacts to this brownie recipe.

"same color guide the tsa uses for people" litterally killed me

That TSA jab with color of inner circle of ring was **chef's kiss**

“This is how you make brownies in the military” Shows chocolate cake

I mean the US Airforce did accidentally drop tootsie rolls during the Korean War because the soldiers codenamed the drop “Tootsie Roll”

I remember in AIT a woman had complained to her grandmother about not eating enough, and that grandmother called our base (Aberdeen Proving Ground) and complained about it. The Drill Sergeants made her carry around 3 MREs taped together for a few days.

That TSA joke was a harsher burn than Swissair Flight 111...

4:28 accurate

Let me guess, the brownie had oil, they invaded and took the oil, and now the brownie recipe is under new management?

I'm not surprised, this isn't a recipe, this is a technical guide for an industrial food production.

This channel is hilarious, and informative.

1:04 they literally misspelled chocolate in the title as “cocolate” 😂

Because George Washington’s grandma wanted to keep it safe

That’s the smoothest beginning I have ever seen

THEY ARE AMAZING, I’ve had them and the brownies in MREs are the best thing about them

US Military: 26 pages on how to make a Brownie. Russia: "don't forget the Vodka!!"

It sounds to me like someone was assigned to write a 8-page paper, But it wasn't written in good taste, so... ...they added a disclaimer. 😂

Enjoyable vid, informative...thanks! Your stock video budget must be huge!

This channel takes subliminal messaging to the next level..

Also known as Meals Refusing to Exit

Breaking into Area 51 to steal America's brownie recipe...

must cook these right now

The freeze dried turkey tetrazzini in the cold weather MCWs is top notch.

As someone who is pretty proficient at making brownies from scratch, I kinda wanna make this lol

For the Brownie chief of the biggest army. George Washington's grandma

I never realized how many jokes you chuck in here, good work 😂

Nice. Let's get this out onto a tray.

That TSA joke was elite 4:17

Getting a 26 page order for a brownie US Military chefs: Cries while cooking

Mre’s taste great, the one exception is the vegetarian omelet. The real secret is knowing what parts to heat and which parts to eat cold. It isnt the same for every meal either. Also some of the deserts are better when swapped around to different meals than they come with.

Steve1989 and Wendover colab would be life