same. After what I have been through the past 6 months has made me realize I am not here to rescue people or be a people pleaser. So therefore if that wasn't really me, then who am I?

You’re not alone Sharon. I’m 59 and feel the same way! Always have 😅

​@@billmcniff9539Same. I've started to think not having a thing is my thing.

I'm 55 and want to be retired.

@@barbaramatthews4735 well I am retired and have been since 2016. A great blessing

You stole my comment. Cheers.

Glad you see this. I’m almost 70 and I’m a therapist. At around 50 I noticed how depressed younger people were. I became aware of FOMO. I knew it was more though. I became aware of the you can be anything you want. I spontaneously told a young client (I’m female 5’6” and a little overweight) what do you think my chances of getting into the MBA would be. He laughed so hard which was great. It started a breakthrough for him. 😉

Totally agree

​@@user-vq2wr7fh7l NBA? 🏀

Yeah but this "Everyone has something they are meant to be" is also harmful and untrue.. I'm still in the middle of watching it but I think this is the first video where I completely disagree with his opinion.

@terryg4415 I really appreciate your comment. Thank you.

I think your situation is too common, sadly. Similarly, I've had WAY MORE than my fair share of challenges and trauma. I won't got into detail because it would just seem like I'm trying to get victim points (I'm not.) or that I am lying (I don't.). I'm old & I can barely believe I'm still struggling with the dumb crap that I had to deal with as a youngster. I tell employers and others "Nobody has ever given me a job because I am tall or handsome or socially adept. People give me a job because I'm good." It's dumb, but has worked fairly well. Similarly, I don't like to work with good looking, tall, well-connected or ivy-league school graduates. Give me the short, ugly guy with no social skills and a terrible accent. They didn't get where they are on looks or the whims of others. We don't look the part customers expect of us, but when our solutions work better than anyone else's, that customer is outs for life.

Good luck mate! I was diagnosed with dyslexia at 38 and ADHD and autism level 1 at 40. I'm 46 now and have lots of healing but now I feel like I have to rebuild who I am, it's a struggle for sure. A struggle that very few people see, there was only so long I could use intelligence to brute force my way through life before it all fell apart. I don't have any advice but I'm wishing you all the very best.

@@Tim_G_Bennett I don't know if I'm somewhere on the "spectrum," or suffer from other significant neurological maladies, but I do know that I have had a miserably horrible life that has caused me to behave in ways that are counterproductive. I wouldn't wish my life on my worst enemy. I have done what you have: used intellect to brute force hack my way through my existence. It is so noteworthy that psychologists have written about me in psychological text books (using a pseudonym for me) as an example of someone that has only a single coping tool, brains, and who thus utilizes this one and only tool to combat the myriad of excrement the world rains down on me consistently, even to this day. I have read about people that have had a more rotten life than my own, but I do no personally know of anyone that's had a worse go of things. I'm not vying for victim points, but it gets stupid some times the incredibly awful random events that hurtle at me, like a rogue asteroid from space, intent on heaping even more undeserved punishment on me., You know the song "If it weren't for bad luck I'd have no luck at all." Like that. By way of strange contrast, for reasons I also cannot fathom, I have literally cheated death no less than six times. I should not be typing this. Doctors as recently as a month ago told me I should not even be alive, yet for some strange reason God, or Mother Nature, or whomever/whatever wants me to NOT slough off this mortal coil. Do I have some unfinished business I'm supposed to do, or am I just being kept around for more sadistic punishment I don't know, but I'd sure like it if whatever runs the universe would knock it off & cut me a little slack sometimes. Over & over & over again it goes, the endless punishment, while other legitimately terrible humans harm others wantonly with zero repercussion. I'm writing a book about some of it, but I'm not much of a writer & who would want to read such a depressing tome anyways. It is therapeutic, somewhat. That is it was until I broke ("pulverized" is the term the orthopedic surgeon used) both of my wrists at the same time bicycling a year and a half ago. Now typing HURTS like he11. Singing "If it weren't for bad luck...." Having dyslexia seems horrible to me. I don't know what stuff looks like in your head with that, but I know it's a bad problem to have. I didn't know there were "levels" to autism, and at this point I'm so used to my personal behavioral issues, and so used to dancing my way effectively around them, that I'm not even sure having a solid diagnosis would do me any good other than having a cataloged curiosity of a behavior to gawk at. Good luck with your endeavors. I wish you the best, & "effe the bozos." Cheers.

Keep writing. Others want you to. The thing I used to do for myself, I do more for others, now; they want me to; and I'm better at remembering their names. I need them. I love them.

I’m taking that one.

Your child guidance is better than "you can be anything....". Parents that give that advice mean well, but are optimistic, shallow, unintelligent, or haven't considered the holistic effect of their words. I wouldn't be too hard on these parents. Some people have more capability than others. I took placement and guidance tests in high school, and then college, and scored in the top 1% on ALL tests. This frustrated my guidance counselor who said exasperated "You can do anything you want to do. You scored near the top on all abilities. So just PICK something!" I asked "So what should I pick?" I still haven't chosen a career, but one chose me.

Normally, you don't desire something that is not natural to you. As a 5 foot 2, 100lbs woman, I'm not desiring to become an NFL football player

I'd rather hear that than a mother tell you that you can't do anything right what's wrong with me I used to hear that all the time till this day I still feel like I can't do anything right

I'd rather hear that than my mother who said: you can only do sciences and maths; you must leave any creative art ideas behind as they are worthless.

If you're imaginative, make imaginative plans. Maybe you're playing an unimaginative role that needs an unimaginative person. It's like a pianist trying to give a recital on the triangle.

Just become it. It's not a costume. It's an atrophied muscle right now. But now you gotta build strength

thank you for your insight.

Same… age 40…

Your English is good.

@@gene108 Thank you! :)

Me too. Coz I don’t know myself, and the choices all seems daunting…

😢😢

I hear ya. Sounds awful.

At 66, all I see is pain & loneliness😢. Many health issues hit when 50yrs old, debilitating. Unable to recover. But- Dr Scott has given me tools to begin to move forward. Baby steps. I will think of you❤

🤗😘🫶🏼

Your story is inspiring ❤

ThAnks for the hope.8n n out for yrs due to Untreated ADHD dyslexia,crazy abusive parents who hated each other and gave me drugs sex abuse &other members of famiy that dont accept mental health or even AA. I am a beautiful compassionate,resourceful funny creative woman who beleived what others told me,and society.I love the night time too as it's quiet.

I was told by a psychologist once that if you're an introvert or extrovert depends on what you need to do to recharge your batteries. I'm an introvert but I used to be able to force myself to be social as long as I could have the whole weekend to myself or days off just to be me. Extroverts recharge by being with others. This may not help you but it helped me to understand myself. Yes, extroverts are generally more successful but us introverts are often deep thinkers and deep feelers and quietly creative. On the whole, I'd rather be me 😊.

I think the answer lies in your comment- don’t talk about your problems. Having a supportive network to do so seems to be one or two people- or a therapist and a diary. Overall, People really don’t want to know. The one or two people that you can, might take years to cultivate. Some people never have those folks. Sounds like you want to be social- and that easily means putting your stuff aside to enjoy the other people around you. Ps- I copied and pasted that for myself- to remind myself.

@@jm7514 yup, that’s the same conclusion I came to too, for the most part I’ve got it down but with best friends/close friends I’m still too open once I’m comfortable. Once they share, i do too but the amount of sharing needs adjustment. And if we’re both in a big group that’s when the line blurs. I think I just need to hold back more in general lol. You’re right though, it brings others down and that’s not great.

Yeah! I realised to have people to keep talking about your problems is also giga boring and leads no where. Why not create a nice home space that you like. Quiet en peaceful and then have some fun IRL outside of that? At home you can do things for yourself, outside home you just have fun! That’s also a part of you and I’d imagine you do have fun while you’re that. Dismiss you think it doesn’t apply. Some parts are better off killed I thinn

I totally hear you

Sorry for your loss

So sorry to hear this. I also have a son with schizophrenia and know it's a very hard road to go down. Sending you mental hugs and blessings.

Sorry for the loss of your son 😢

❤❤❤

And to see your tattoo

Maybe you can get rid of the MS. Dr Gabor Mate on KZfaq

Would you be willing to mention some of your struggles in a gendered workplace because my friend is trying to get into one and I don’t know that she is fully grasping that she will have two jobs, to keep one job. Any advice appreciated.

There's a plumbing company here in the Seattle area that is woman-owned and all (or almost all?) women plumbers. Wishing you had something like that available to work at! It's a good marketing choice too, a lot of single females are much more comfortable having a woman come to their home.

These sudden game-related drops are the cherry on the top in these videos!

Yes. Because he's lived it and he knows what he's talking about. Sadly I think that's a prerequisite to true empathy.

You should watch Gabor Mate about being a fixer

@@louarmstrong6128 Thanks, I will look for that one

Interesting insights. Thank you!

omg!

omg!

Dude you were so mature and reflective at 13-23? Amazing!!! Wow, I’m impressed…

Also, I find it most helpful when you and other mental health professionals share their personal stories-it makes the theoretical palpable. Your story about trying to be this aloof bad boy reminded me of when I was in middle school: I had just found my love for classical music, which, for a boy in the Illinois countryside, was not a helpful thing for social inclusion (never mind all the other things, like being gay). In a 6th grade health class, we were talking about ourselves and things we liked and such, and I was incredibly nervous about sharing this music preference, so I mentioned the first band I could think of (which might have been a copy of what one of the hot guys in class had said, lol), which was U2. I doubt I could have even named one song by them (though I knew I had almost certainly heard at least one). Glad my main teacher was very supportive and helped build my courage a little in owning at least that aspect of myself.

Yesssss!!! 😁👍❤😊❤😊

I'm starting to think we need to make our own custom hole for our peg to fit.

From the doc in the comment section: "The band It was Stuck Mojo - Rising. They have some interesting political perspectives, but the self-development piece really landed for me"

I don't think your logic is true (that's very unlikely, since you are at least better at writing than a lot of people), but I know how you probably feel from my own experience. I hope, we will both find peace in a good way

There is still hope, Don't give up 🫤🌚 kzfaq.info/get/bejne/mbtxZ62D2JmVpYk.htmlsi=xYwf7MCzTTsVBJQL