Healing from Narc Abuse, with Dr. Jaime Zuckerman

Healing from Narc Abuse, with Dr. Jaime Zuckerman - Terri Cole

Рет қаралды 2,460

Күн бұрын

Today's guest is narcissistic abuse expert and clinical psychologist, Dr. Jaime Zuckerman, better known as Dr. Z on Instagram (@dr.z_psychologist).
We dive deep into narcissism and explore the differences between narcissistic tendencies and Narcissistic Personality Disorder, give you red flags to watch out for when dating so you can steer clear of narcissists, and share our insights on narcissism from many, many years with clients.
I hope this video adds value to your life, and please share it with anyone who could use a greater understanding of narcissism (especially what it *isn't*).
TIME STAMPS:
0:00 - Quote from Dr. Z
0:43 - Introduction from Terri
3:26 - What is Narcissistic Personality Disorder?
6:35 - Difference between having NPD and narcissistic tendencies
12:45 - What is narcissistic supply?
15:30 - Children of narcissistic parents
17:33 - Narcissists don't want you to have autonomy
18:45 - If you're wondering "am I a narcissist?"
19:50 - Red flags of narcissism to look out for when dating
27:10 - Lovingly tapping the breaks early on in a relationship
28:16 - "How could you be so stigmatizing with narcissism?"
31:04 - What drew Dr. Z to study narcissism?
36:40 - Thoughts on the Grey Rock Method
39:30 - Dr. Z's biggest boundary struggle
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ABOUT DR. JAIME ZUCKERMAN
Dr. Jaime Zuckerman is a national expert in narcissistic abuse and a licensed clinical psychologist specializing in the treatment of adults with anxiety and mood disorders. She is a highly sought-after relationship coach for both men and women nationwide who are experiencing or have experienced, narcissistic abuse in relationships of all types.
Dr. Z is a frequent contributor to several media outlets including Vogue, Elle Magazine, Shape, Women’s Health, The Washington Post, The Harvard Business Review, CBS3Philadelphia, NBC10 Philadelphia, PHL17, and FOX29 News. She has also made guest appearances on several podcasts.
In April 2022, Dr. Z released her first book, Find Your Calm: A Workbook to Manage Anxiety. It is an interactive guide that offers various exercises to help reduce daily stress and anxiety. Dr. Zuckerman’s second book, Find Good Habits: A Workbook for DailyGrowth, was released in August 2022. Dr. Zuckerman is also the host of the It’s Me, Dr.Z podcast.
Website: drjaimezuckerman.com
IG: / dr.z_psychologist
ABOUT TERRI COLE
Terri Cole is a licensed psychotherapist, global relationship and empowerment expert, and the author of Boundary Boss-The Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen and (Finally) Live Free.
For over two decades, Terri has worked with a diverse group of clients that includes everyone from stay-at-home moms to celebrities and Fortune 500 CEOs.
She has a gift for making complex psychological concepts accessible and actionable so that clients and students achieve sustainable change. She inspires over 450,000 people weekly through her blog, social media platform, signature courses, and her popular podcast, The Terri Cole Show. For more, see www.terricole.com/
CONNECT ON SOCIAL
Instagram: terricole.com/ig
FB Page: terricole.com/fb
FB Group: terricole.com/fbg
Podcast: terricole.com/itunes
RESOURCES:
No No Narc Course: www.terricole.com/nnn-special...
Boundary Boss Book: boundarybossbook.com/
BetterHelp: betterhelp.com/terricole
I’m not currently taking any new one-on-one therapy or coaching clients, but highly recommend using BetterHelp to find a therapist that fits your needs. As a team, we have fully vetted BetterHelp's resources. If you choose to sign up for Better Help's service, I will receive a commission on the referral but please know that I only recommend services that I know & trust.
www.terricole.com/gethelp/ -- If you are in a crisis or any other person may be in danger the resources on this page can provide you with immediate help.
#terricoleshow #narcissism #narcissistabuse

Пікірлер: 44

@reneeewens-bettridge8420 Жыл бұрын

I've been with my partner 1.5yrs and I wish I knew about NPD before. I've discovered in the last 6months that she is in fact a vulnerable narc that has used all the text book narc moves. What dr Z and Dr Terri Cole have discussed here is so unbelievably relatable. I've been isolated, insulted thru humor, gaslit, manipulated, made to feel responsible for the situationship. It is so hard to get out once in. One thing I can add is that in the beginning love bomb stages, they will also trauma dump on you, because most narcs are attracted to kind, caring and gentle people, they know they will have you if they share things that have happened to them. This narcissism is an epidemic and also can be related to the Wetiko spirit that native American people speak of.

@terri_cole Жыл бұрын

I am so sorry you are experiencing this, Renee ❤️ Sending you so much strength.

@barbaraalbert5600 8 ай бұрын

Feel like telling my therapist..Yes my therapist... to go parasite elsewhere Clients are not supposed to know.. very little of anything personal about a therapist. It's pronounced, "professional" July was the last of Long term High dose Benzo hell (taper) Am not a healthy person. Don't attract or attract healthy....not for a long time. 12 years with this therapist... July was the 40th year of poly psych chemical abuse(prescribed-i took as prescribed as a good sg) I've not been. Last I realize my feelings.. I'm twenty. Before the psychiatric pill brain fog. Also just coming to terms with some blow me away FOO info. Realizing I have traits too. Having so much difficulty getting to " a safe place " Finding my body knows.. .. if narcs are there(near) My tolerance may be lessening.... Progress!! Thinking out loud.... thank you for this. Peace 🕊️

@kittudats9976 Жыл бұрын

Thank you Terri ... for the continued education ❤

@angellove6023 Жыл бұрын

Since I set boundaries to the sister of my husband and I don't want to apologise for it like my husband wants, he uses silent treatment, tries to avoid me, no hugs, no touch, all the lovely details from before 2 weeks ago are totally gone, no love. Everything I say I uses against me like awareness, authentic, respect, integrity, values, etc... He says I want it for myself but I don't do it for others. He calls me an extremist, etc... I set my boundaries respectfully, but also clear. I'm not an extremist, I just want respect. I'm a good person. I guess I'm also in a narcissistic relationship.

@jenp342 Жыл бұрын

Yes, the distinction between real remorse, and no remorse by a narcissistic family member. When you have experienced this, it is a struggle to communicate those experiences, you get hurt, you fall, and then you have to learn fast to protect yourself.

@terri_cole Жыл бұрын

Thank you for sharing Jen ❤️ I am witnessing you with compassion.

@meganengland3252 8 ай бұрын

Somehow I missed this the first time. Thanks for reposting. ❤

@terri_cole 8 ай бұрын

You're so welcome! ❤️

@irinamladenoska7539 Жыл бұрын

I have been brainwashed for 50 years that I am crazy by my Narc mom.

@terri_cole Жыл бұрын

I am witnessing you with compassion, Irina ❤️❤️

@irinamladenoska7539 Жыл бұрын

@@terri_cole ❤❤❤

@Stephcurry-3030 Жыл бұрын

You are so amazing!❤

@terri_cole Жыл бұрын

❤️❤️

@DK-mu3oc Жыл бұрын

so true. I am a daughter of a narc mother and wish I knew how to spot the future pacing, us against the world and slow trickle sooner. I went to the other side of the world to live my own life and even went no contact, now I'm worried I'll never be able to escape control since I moved into a condo under both of our names due to being unemployed for a while. I'm constantly living in fear not knowing when she will suddenly come back.

@terri_cole Жыл бұрын

I am witnessing you with compassion and sending strength your way, D K ❤️

@natalia1045 Жыл бұрын

It makes sense, it still the same all around, nothing new and yet I can’t get enough of these videos.. seems like I will never accept it as a fact. It’s so confusing. I am frustrated with myself for not letting go the thought of that maybe one day it will change.

@lilithjesus7718 Жыл бұрын

Na Talia, thank you for saying so about the struggle to let go of the idea they might change. Makes me not feel so idiotic/alone. Even with ample evidence of npd, even with literal years of crying very hard from the npd effects, I am *still* de-brainwashing myself from the notion of "he might change". I am at the stage now where it's not that I don't believe he might change (I still wonder that). It's that I have come to terms with the disintegrating effect I observe in myself when I think those thoughts that "he might change." What disintegrating effects? Emotional disregulation, physical illness, mental insanity, an increase in self-gaslighting, a decrease in my trust of my own perception, and a moving away from personal healing and growth. Not sure if all this resonates with you too , there's a lot of flavors of how it can affect us. Much love 🤍

@natalia1045 Жыл бұрын

@@lilithjesus7718 thank you for sharing your experience… I think yours is even worse. I have a wonderful husband and 3 beautiful healthy kids… it’s my mother and my brother who are narcissistic… I was sexually abused by my brother as a little girl. I don’t care about him. It’s my mother who I struggle with internally. She puts him on pedestal and I can’t stand it. I wished I could talk to her honestly but they are not capable to do so. The reality twisting is unbelievable. I am scared of future I don’t know how will I be able to take care of her. She has no one but him and since narcissist are the way the are he won’t take care of her. I wish I could run from my family (which I partly did, I moved 2 states away) but I can’t in my mind. I want to fix it but it’s not fixable. I can’t imagine though having a man who I deeply love and who is not able to honestly reciprocate feelings. Do you have children with this man?

@terri_cole Жыл бұрын

I am witnessing you both, Na and Lilith, with so much compassion and sending strength to you both ❤️❤️

@chriszayak2023 Жыл бұрын

What if your wife has diagnosed depression, anxiety, and an addictive personality. My wife is an alcoholic and she has called me a narcissist. I believe that what she sees as me being narcissistic is actually me trying to keep her safe when she has been drinking. Reasoning with an alcoholic is never possible. Any recommendations other than creating better boundaries for myself to work on while she is working on herself?

@SA-ww1ge Жыл бұрын

My codependent upbringing thought anyone w his problems would want to change-it took 20 yrs for hi functioning alcoholic x to say “I’m not going to change, if u think I am ur crazy” when I stopped trying to fix him -it was very difficult but I started getting better.

@terri_cole Жыл бұрын

Hey there Chris - I highly recommend Alanon as a place where you can get support and education. Sending strength your way ❤️

@barbaraalbert5600 8 ай бұрын

Ive been being hurt so much... unfortunately , its been oozing over, and no its not alright. Yes, cptsd, scapegoated and all that goes with. Now, learning, making mistakes. thinking lots. Remembering.. feeling overwhelmed. Only a few months in. So glad i physically got away after i crossed something in me. I stayed away. With no idea about any of this information. Including about siblings. Isn't hindsight grand. My addiction issues and being suicidal, inpatient and homeless. I want to become so unloyal. I do know i dont want to hurt anyone or be hurt. I realize it happens just feels like all at once. I need to become more aware of so much, and truly know this is not my fault. With no boundaries and human brain im doing the best I can do for where im at. Am a child of a narc Am sixty . Physically i got away.. Emotionally im only realizing, becoming aware. Struggling with being numb and reactive. Didn't stop drinking to be like this. Doing a day at a time.And showing up. Big trouble with trust and leftovers in my head. Noticing them in my body ss well --a new and different --being in my body, Yoga helps me with this. Thank you for the information in this video.

@terri_cole 8 ай бұрын

I am witnessing you with so much compassion ❤️❤️

@annacornelius1013 Жыл бұрын

Can both parents be narcissists, mother and father?

@terri_cole Жыл бұрын

Hi Anna- Yes, but the odds of that happening are small. It is more likely that they have narc tendencies or that one is diagnosable and the other has tendencies. Either way, having two parents with limited empathy is painful, indeed. ❤️

@angelamossucco2190 9 ай бұрын

WOW The two starting statements regarding high school boyfriend and getting married both mirror what happened to me when I tried to have a boyfriend in high school and when I announced that I was getting married. My marriage happened when I was 30 years old and I was told that I was too young by the problematic Authority figure.

@angellove6023 Жыл бұрын

Since I set boundaries to the sister of my husband and I don't want to apologise for it like my husband wants, he uses silent treatment, tries to avoid me, no hugs, no touch, all the lovely details from before 2 weeks ago are totally gone, no love. Everything I say he uses against me like awareness, authentic, respect, integrity, values, etc... He says I want it for myself but I don't do it for others. He calls me an extremist, etc... I set my boundaries respectfully, but also clear. I'm not an extremist, I just want respect. I'm a good person. I guess I'm also in a narcissistic relationship.I hope I'm wrong

@SA-ww1ge Жыл бұрын

Ask urself if what u just told us is signs of a narcissist. Listen to ur intuition. My voice was so small compared to all the signs but I look back & my discomfort was there. Easy to get in relationship w them & hardest thing in life is to get away. Sooner u get away the better u will be.

@angellove6023 Жыл бұрын

@@SA-ww1ge am I'm exagerating when I feel I've to set my boundaries

@terri_cole Жыл бұрын

I have a vid on 10 signs of an abusive relationship, in case it helps shed any light: kzfaq.info/get/bejne/fbOWrK2nnp6yZXU.html ❤️❤️

@angellove6023 Жыл бұрын

@@terri_cole ok thanks very much Terri 👍♥️🌺🌈🙏

@irinamladenoska7539 Жыл бұрын

What if you mother throw you out of the apparment, when you are getting out of an acusive mariage? What if she thretening with suicide or cuting you out of the will?

@terri_cole Жыл бұрын

That is mean and controlling and I am sorry you are going through that, Irina. ❤️ I don’t know enough to say if your mother is a narcissist. Either way, I encourage you to actively protect yourself from her. I have a list of free resources that might help here: terricole.com/gethelp

@irinamladenoska7539 Жыл бұрын

@@terri_cole I know that she is. I was at a therapy. She is a covert one. Always playing a victim. Even during my suffering in the narc abussive mariage, she was greater than me, because " she had suffered in life more than me", as she said. Like it is a competition. A total lack of empathy. She wants her way or the high way. She wanted a total control over me at this age. I went no contact. I had to.

@SA-ww1ge Жыл бұрын

Do narcissists commonly have addictions-alcohol, drugs, sex, food, porn, entertainment, shopping, violence etc.

@R.A.A.1980 Жыл бұрын

Multiple addictions never seen one wo

@hazizeljucovic4956 Жыл бұрын

All the above

@reneeewens-bettridge8420 Жыл бұрын

Yes because those vices provide escapism for them

@terri_cole Жыл бұрын

Hi SA- studies show that many folks with narcissism may also suffer from addiction to drugs, sex, alcohol or even social media. However, not everyone with narcissism has addiction issues and not every addict is a narcissist. Hope that helps ❤️

@ArtMusicLife15 Жыл бұрын

@@terri_cole Can alcohol bring out narcissistic traits in someone?