Healing from Narcissistic People | The Minimalists Ep. 431

Рет қаралды 90,756

Күн бұрын

The Minimalists speak with Dr. Ramani Durvasula about recognizing narcissists; whether the term “narcissist” is overused; the roles of self-righteousness, complaining, and comparison in narcissism; and how to walk away. Watch all 2 hours of episode 431 on The Minimalists Private Podcast: / theminimalists
Discussed in this episode:
Intro (00:00)
How do you know someone is a narcissist, and is the term overused? (00:41)
How can I tell a narcissist that they’re the problem? (21:25)
How do you let go of your feelings if your emotions are tied to your ego? (36:32)
How can you mentally let go of an item you’re keeping just for when? (41:03)
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#TheMinimalists #narcissists #narcissism

Пікірлер: 389

@TheMinimalists 4 ай бұрын

How many narcissists do you know?

@la_baby_khalil7703 4 ай бұрын

2 = My Sister, and My X-Fiance...Ugh!!! Disgusting Human Souls...🙏😔🙏

@quicksilverqqify 4 ай бұрын

Just remember there is a difference between NPD and narcissism.

@WisconsinWanderer 4 ай бұрын

2 and that’s to many 😊

@bunnysexy487 4 ай бұрын

Too many

@la_baby_khalil7703 4 ай бұрын

@andreimj 4 ай бұрын

This woman has went to a couple dosen podcast and she's still is not repeating herself. Absolutely outstanding

@djslavinette 4 ай бұрын

Yes and in all her interviews she says very important things

@novairene6880 3 ай бұрын

Agree. I learn something new every time. Always validating. Also speaks to the interviewers’ questions coming from different angles.

@kareema2001 3 ай бұрын

yes ❤ this is brilliant , love her

@serinataiwan 3 ай бұрын

Totally agreed with what you said

@MM-gk5of 3 ай бұрын

Dr Ramani is a Godsend !!!!!!

@thomasanderson168 4 ай бұрын

“There is no such thing as a healthy lack of empathy” thank you! Enough said!

@debbiesmith2207 3 ай бұрын

I think in certain situations you won't do a good job or you won't survive if you have too much empathy.

@djslavinette 3 ай бұрын

@@debbiesmith2207 There is a huge difference between LACK of empathy and TOO MUCH empathy

@sunrise7244 3 ай бұрын

Wake up call!!! Well said! No more justifying constant inconsiderate behavior

@cmondevils 4 ай бұрын

Until i found Dr Ramani's channel, i didn't know what was wrong with my father. Watching her channel and learning about narcissim, i learned my father was a narcissist. Everything a narc does, describes my father. If you're lucky enough to never know a narc, you're lucky enough to not know the damage they will do

@avleck 4 ай бұрын

Blessings to you. Ditto re my mother. What a validation she’s been and salve to my wounding! We aren’t crazy. Take good care of urself.

@In.the.darkness_there_is_light 3 ай бұрын

Same here for my narc mother. I can’t thank Dr. R enough. She’s opened my eyes and helped to make so many of my and my mother’s actions understandable.

@shababrk 3 ай бұрын

Same here with my father…I’ve gone no contact since 15 years now and no plan to go back…too much suffering for 25 years of my Life and especially the way he treated my mom will never be forgiven. My advise is to create a strategy to escape with the most advantages ever and do it all undercover…then plan the grand escape, you need to be smart and specific (eg I went to another continent, great job, wife and Two kids, etc :))

@ottawan1567 3 ай бұрын

@@shababrki moved 15 min away from his house & lied that my work relocated me to another branch 200 kms away. I just learned about him 2 years ago and im 42

@earthrooster1969 3 ай бұрын

Exactly! No one in my family or in my immediate relative circle have no idea how manipulative my Mom is. She punished me since I was a child, both physically and emotionally reasons I was not sure why and grew up with extreme low self esteem. Only now, I know what was going on, still going on...and I still treasure my family but processing and accepting what narcissism is all about and learning to reparent myself with the compassion and love I never had...

@wiser1254 4 ай бұрын

You are featuring the best expert in this complicated subject. I have been listening to Dr. Ramani for at least five years and she has saved my life from a 37-year marriage to a covert narcissist. I’m waiting for her new book to arrive. My healing will be ongoing for the rest of my life! I’m 78, and I want the rest of my life to be narcissist-free! ❤❤

@italy_jaz 4 ай бұрын

I left a 40 year marriage last year. Had hives and was gaslighted every day. After 18 months in therapy I found the strength to leave. Dr. Ramani made me see It’s Not Me. In 40 years he said I love you 2X!

@beautifulday7528 3 ай бұрын

You lasted so much longer than mine! Married 6 years.....7 years too long. If I knew what Dr. Ramani teaches, and sought help from a therapist, it would have been one year, giving him ample time to go to counseling with me. I didn't get to counseling until 5 years in. One year to show movement on his part, and nothing. Divorce. I LOVE walking in my home, a place of peace. No more walking on eggshells. Good luck to you!

@carolannstevens5814 3 ай бұрын

I have been married for 35 years and want to leave as he is abusive narcissist.

@tinaallen2114 3 ай бұрын

God bless y’all! I got out at 11 years. I’m so happy now.

@Ellajaie 3 ай бұрын

The best expert is actually Sam Vaknin.

@atmiles88 4 ай бұрын

Some people ARE beyond redemption. The sooner people realize that, the better.

@jude1987 3 ай бұрын

I just saw this comment and it's only last year I actually did this to myself about my DIL which is so bizarre for me because I'm a forgive and forget person and all I've wanted is to reconnect and let it go. I've gone from sadness for 5 years to THAT REALISATION

@atmiles88 3 ай бұрын

@@jude1987Glad to hear that you finally came to that realization! A LOT OF PEOPLE never do.

@SandraLemenaite 4 ай бұрын

Dr. Ramani saved my life ❤

@loveinthematrix 3 ай бұрын

🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

@kellyandaaron2005 3 ай бұрын

I feel the same way.

@anothergirlinasweater Ай бұрын

We need a t-shirt with that.

@nugget6635 3 ай бұрын

Selfishness is in fact just 1 of the eggs that make the narcissistic cake. Narcissism a whole lot worse than selfish people.

@jennifermizrahi98 4 ай бұрын

I love her. I was married to a narcissist for 21 years; completed five years of therapy. Finally in a healthy relationship with myself AND with my partner. The grass really is greener on the other side. Get out, get some help and move on. Thank you guys for a great conversation.

@jzen1455 4 ай бұрын

I can feel your sense of relief emanating from the screen! Congrats on escaping the cult! I consider a relationship with narcissists as a being in a cult as every narcissist are at least low-level cult leaders. The high profile ones just managed to amass a large group of flying monkeys.

@mariahconklin4150 3 ай бұрын

My mom was with one to her counselor told her then I put two and two together and realized it. Now she's with someone new. I feel bad because we gave him the third degree me and my brother but I think he's an okay person way better than who she's been with before but I don't think she will ever get married again.

@Goldendoodlewinnie 3 ай бұрын

☮️

@LOVEISTRUTH300 3 ай бұрын

I'm happy for you. I'm currently working on identifying healthy starting with myself and others around me. I'm assuming you seen a trauma informed therapist?

@purna2081 3 ай бұрын

Dr. Ramani is the relentless trooper saving the world from the narcissist tyrants….she has my eternal gratitude and high regard Thank you for bringing her on the show…❤

@qoqopepper 3 ай бұрын

When people show you who they are, believe them the FIRST time. Maya Angelou Words to live by

@anothergirlinasweater Ай бұрын

Words to die if you didn't believe them the first time.

@qoqopepper Ай бұрын

@@anothergirlinasweater also true

@josephgradojr.597 3 ай бұрын

The world desperately needs more awareness of Narcissism. I believe it’s at the root of most of the problems in our society. From the members of our own families all the way up (or shall I say down) to the politicians in positions of power especially in the U.S. It’s very simple, a Narcissist has no empathy and zero remorse. A normal person feels guilty when they do or say something wrong or hurtful. They apologize!

@RR-md9pq 4 ай бұрын

I love Dr Ramani so much❤

@RebeccaJadee 4 ай бұрын

Something I learned that is common among people recovering from a narcissist is that they develop habits and sometimes an obsession with overly cleaning or decluttering, which would lead them onto their minimalism journey. The reason for this is because a lot of victims tend to hoard stuff during their time dealing with the narcissist because it's the only aspect of their lives that they feel they have any sense of control over and gain validation from.

@hollichristensen6419 4 ай бұрын

Welp, I didn't plan on being called out today for something I didn't realize I even did but here we are. Lol Towards the end of my relationship with a narcissist I started purging and decluttering. Not long after that I purged him out of my life. Never made the connection until I read your comment. It helped me heal from that abuse especially when it came to the time to get rid of his things or his gifts.

@m.d.1395 4 ай бұрын

I have bought so many books

@kscott7657 4 ай бұрын

Ya I decluttered alright😂 the things from my marriage. After the divorce i through out everything from the marriage. Bought new furniture and got rid of 20 yrs with of things I no longer needed. started fresh and it felt amazing! Best decluttering ever! 💕😌

@AlexLouiseWest 3 ай бұрын

That’s a very interesting, helpful and relatable comment. Thank you.

@carolannstevens5814 3 ай бұрын

I feel slimy & dirty when with the person.

@M.C.W.62 3 ай бұрын

Dr.Ramani has changed my life. I loved this interview. Best line ever “it’s not how i feel about you, it how I feel about me in your presence. “ I especially got a kick out of the off camera lady laughing .

@espressoshot21 3 ай бұрын

Love the woman in the background laughing her butt off 😂

@liavanson8687 3 ай бұрын

Annoying. Please give her a peanut butter sandwich.

@justasimplesomeone 4 ай бұрын

Thank you so much for calling out this generalised view of narcissism - a narcissist is a very particular animal with very particular markings - not just a person who is selfish or vain .

@jzen1455 4 ай бұрын

I just broke up with a narcissist. She was unwilling to change anything about herself while she had a long list of things she wanted me to change about herself. She expected everyone to cater to her whims and anyone who didn't, she took as a personal attack. She also took differences of opinion and differences in temperament as malicious and deliberate attacks as if differing opinions or differing behaviors were done to spite her.

@mamajedi745 3 ай бұрын

Could also be border line personality disorder. I'm sorry you had an unfilling relationship. I hope you feel better.

@TheZagrean 4 ай бұрын

Dr.Ramani I admire and thank you very much for all your work and what you do for us all. Sending you my best regards from Eastern Europe, România! So happy you guys invited dr.Ramani! Wonderful!

@Iris_Transforms_Healing 3 ай бұрын

You don’t heal from narcissistic people. You heal that part of you which makes you vulnerable to engage in relationships with them. Always go to the source of your pain, when you work from that space this enables you to make healthier choices around who you allow to access your ❤.

@crystalclear7453 4 ай бұрын

Doctor Ramani amazes me with all the amount of information and relatable examples for us mortals to understand narcissism. Regardless, as a person who has invested a lot of time and energy to fathom this parasitic personality type, it's frustrating to realize that there's always something new to learn, former information to reassure and new doubts to be unraveled. Narcissistic people tend to say ''we all have narcissistic personality in one or other degree'' to gasligh us. To me that rigid personality type is like cancer, sure ther are degrees and types, but you either got it or you don't. There's no such thing as ''having a touch of cancer''. Be real, be alert and love yourself. Shout out to Dr. Ramani! ❤🎉🎉🎉

@OneAdam12Adam 3 ай бұрын

Dr. Ramani walks the walk. She's helped me extricate myself from a few toxic situations. I'm growing slowly to discern better each time.

@KatieBurke-qu1mk 4 ай бұрын

This is all so true... Deep down narc's are truly miserable and anyone in their surroundings is s to make them miserable...This is their happiness...

@deeh5048 3 ай бұрын

This interview is so good! “They try to keep their shame and insecurities at bay and they’re not in touch with that. And if you point it out to them, they will rage at you.” This is a narcissist in a nutshell.

@rhondabrown3877 4 ай бұрын

Dr Ramani is the best! All her books and videos are spot on

@lisahinkofer2085 4 ай бұрын

Dr Ramani is the one I go to for this subject. I live with a narcissist. Dr Ramani is the best❤️

@yvonnes7412 4 ай бұрын

Great conversation. Important point that everyone can have an ugly moment, but narcissm is a full pattern of behavior, a full personality style. And yeah, healthy people will feel bad about their ugly moment.

@leilagomulka5690 4 ай бұрын

I think I’ll order one dozen books ! For all my friends. As gifts

@_TheIlluminator_ 4 ай бұрын

A narcissist would often reject therapy as therapy would require self-reflection, vulnerability, and having to acknowledge their faults which is something a narcissist would never want to do as they’re things that would challenge their self-image. Taking a narcissist to therapy will only push them to flip the narrative to make it seem like you are the problem, not them.

@jzen1455 4 ай бұрын

I know a few narcissists in therapy, but none have been diagnosed with narcissistic personality. They're often diagnosed with ADHD, depression, autism, anxiety, and bipolar. I find therapy can embolden them as they weaponize tools therapists provide them. They'll start abusing the concept of boundaries, gaslighting, and others and project on people to get them to accomodate their whims.

@_TheIlluminator_ 4 ай бұрын

@@jzen1455 True. A lot of narcissists would treat therapy as a playground, giving them a platform to manipulate and abuse others. They’ll twist even the tools that were meant to help, just to suit their own needs.

@jzen1455 4 ай бұрын

@@_TheIlluminator_ And the narcissist will do that while being completely oblivious about being a narcissist. Everyone else are the ones with the "problem"

@Timetomakethedonuts28 3 ай бұрын

I agreed to participate in counseling with my ex to co-parent. He is a malignant narcissist. The therapist is a quack and should not be allowed to practice for the following reasons: My ex and his asshole wife would manufacture drama, such as try to make me out as a monster because my 13 yo daughter refused to wear a winter coat because she felt it made her look fat. They would call the quack and tell the story of the week and get the quack all worked up so they could gang up on me each session. Every meeting was a free pass for my ex to yell at me and tear me down. I told the quack that I would not continue to participate if she didn't set some rules of decorum. Quack told me that it was therapeutic for my ex to rage and I was not accepting of the process. I said damned straight and walked out.😮 It's really difficult to have a supposed therapeutic situation which ends up being more abuse. And a quack who wasn't able to discern that she was being manipulated. I don't know how she couldn't see it. Same thing every week. They would call the quack every week with the manufactured drama and she would eat it like ice cream

@CAEO416 4 ай бұрын

Intense years of psychotherapy did change my personality but more in the sense that my real personality came too light and I flourished where as before it was held down and not available to me because of anxiety and deep, ingrained, neurosis.

@earthrooster1969 3 ай бұрын

Brilliant way Dr. Ramani tackles the questions, doubts, clarification! She is helping SO many to empower themselves. This is not about condemning narcissists, but empowering many who were being in a trap and never knew exactly what was going on and being victimized over and over again

@bloodymarymary6214 Ай бұрын

This i would very much agree on. She is not targetting narcissists but she is reaching out to their victims, empowering them to assess and walk away while they can.

@yukio_saito 4 ай бұрын

Actually, I got into huge chaos after I pointed out a narcissist. 😆

@Roz390 3 ай бұрын

they lose their shit!! it can be a full blown tantrum

@anothergirlinasweater Ай бұрын

Someone pointed out one in front of me and he laughed, he was enjoying it, it was fuel for him, fucking narcissists.

@Buster-im5so 4 ай бұрын

Vulnerable narcissism is the most insidious kind. It's damaged my mental and physical health. Whenever I talk to her about the pain she causes, she simply says I'm the reason she behaves this way.

@LadyGodivaish 4 ай бұрын

You need to cut ties ASAP! You will start to heal. There is no healing near these people....

@KJ-lb4tj 3 ай бұрын

Blame shift, number one narcissistic trait

@rubberbiscuit99 3 ай бұрын

My sister provoked me for months until I finally reacted in anger and called her "a narcissist".‼️ It turned out, doing this gave her the ammunition she needed to "prove" to other family members that I am mean, cruel, and horrible. These family members did notnask me what happened, but soon told me I was all these things and more, and I was exiled from my "family". As painful as this experience has been, it has also been a gift of freedom from this wasp nest of a family.

@Blueskies7775 3 ай бұрын

This is an amazing woman! She is the best at bringing us information without medical/physiological jargon. So relatable…and helping millions of people! Love her! 😊

@GLEE36 4 ай бұрын

Thank you for bringing her on the show, she is so wise and very helpful for me to reflect on my challenges with some relationships. Where I thought it was ME, I see now it may not necessarily be me. This is freeing.

@user-gh3sh1ce7f 3 ай бұрын

Dr Ramani deserves a Nobel Peace Prize, she has helped me enormously over the past years and many others to understand how this personality can affect so many people.

@raquelknabben393 4 ай бұрын

Trust me, does not work to tell them they are a narcissist. I done that and I even doubt myself I was one bc he said: you are the narcissist. It’s very consumen live with someone 26:30 like this! I love Dr Ramani❤

@sereene_care646 4 ай бұрын

How many narcissists do I know? A lot. Most of the people around me are narcissists. My family of origin are narcissistic. My parents are narcissist. My father side is narcissistic. My husband is a narcissist. My In-laws are narcissistic. I have worked with a narcissist. So they are many narcissists in my life and they hijack my soul.

@drlarrymitchell 4 ай бұрын

GOSO- When you know, you go. Get out and stay out.

@mday3821 3 ай бұрын

H. G. Tudor is the one who coined this.

@LAGreer 4 ай бұрын

Yes! Dr. Ramani is amazing!

@shirleyburnham2782 4 ай бұрын

Enjoyed this episode

@nicollerochelleofficial 3 ай бұрын

I loooove the off-camera laughing !!😂😂

@joanharder2124 2 ай бұрын

I have been reminded of when I was 22 years old and went to a therapist for the first time in my life. I was suicidal and wanted to know what was wrong with me. Youngest, only girl out of 8 kids!! It was explained to me that I grew up in an alcoholic home and over the years I have learned that there’s also narcissism. Fast forward 34 years and I find myself in … a marriage with a narcissist. So grateful for videos like this. 🙏💜🙏

@sue8494 3 ай бұрын

ABSOLUTELY TRUE ! I've been ABUSED emotionally and physically, all my 40 years by an older sister ... I came across dr. Romani. and she saved my life 🙏❤

@dawnpaap7704 3 ай бұрын

I think the 2nd Natalie is like a lot of people - so many of us regular folk think that we can help them, save them, or change narcissists. Plus, being a therapist who has also worked with hundreds of them as well - I know how hard it is to not only give people that feedback of “they won’t change”, it’s equally hard to BE a therapist who can’t help narcissists change, and coming to terms with the fact that personality disorders are really set, and are NOT flexible. Now I see them as a practice of acceptance, and letting go of taking on any responsibility for their bs.

@EveningTV Ай бұрын

Agreeable Introvert.... yep, sounds about right for me as well. I can say that I am more introverted after several years of abandonment, betrayal and extreme abuse when I was in the midst of a health crisis, vulnerable and powerless to protect myself.

@Melborn0915 3 ай бұрын

There is a line in a song by Jars of Clay, which says “Blessed are the shallow for depth they’ll never find. “ As I started to internalize the truth about narcissistic partners, this song became my mantra. Gray rock technique and an exit plan are all that kept me sane.

@DiscoNinjaBAP 2 ай бұрын

I’ve been watch Dr. Ramani on KZfaq for years and this is one of the best and most informative interviews I’ve seen with her. I used to listen to your podcast a lot and have watched The Minimalist on Netflix many times and feel T.K. brings a great perspective to the show. Great work, team!

@jimelwilliams7523 4 ай бұрын

Dr. Ramani??? Let’s Gooo!!!!!

@bloodymarymary6214 Ай бұрын

Oh my G this woman knows her shit, in the best way possible. Thank you Dr. Ramani. Im glad i bumped into u, u have explained narcissism in a very objective and non judgmental way.

@loveinthematrix 3 ай бұрын

I love the first question. Dr. Ramani is not here to play.

@livingnow7017 3 ай бұрын

Thank you for this enlightening podcast...I love your passion to help people learn about what narcissism is! You have saved me, more than you know! You are always spot on...❤

@goodenoughgirl8102 4 ай бұрын

Again. Love Dr Ramani! ❤️❤️

@dinaholt6527 4 ай бұрын

This is a great interview with Dr. Ramini!!!

@ann-marieeigert2720 4 ай бұрын

I have worked with a narcissist that ticked almost all the boxes but she could actually be caring and empathic . Though only to people she did not see as a threat or who were not relevant for achieving her goals.

@KJ-lb4tj 3 ай бұрын

Is that actually caring when it is used for their own self gain? The self gain here is that others can see how great she is and be liked into thinking she has genuine empathy, lulled into a false sense of security and trust. Once the trust is gained she can advise it. Caring for me is when it is done for the other person's benefit.

@staceystrukel1917 3 ай бұрын

It’s an act to manipulate. That’s why it can be hard to see by others who don’t know them well. A part of the abuse cycle with them is how many people don’t believe you because of the way the narcissists manipulate others to think they are wonderful. This can really confuse the victim. Imagine that being your parent? Then you understand how a child can develop narcissism. they are confused by the way they are treated but everyone loves their parent so they have to have a self defense mechanism and boom narcissism develops again into the next generation.

@bpassion4fashion581 3 ай бұрын

Bless these two men!!! They have clearly not been touched by evil. To be in a relationship with a person with NPD is devastating!!! Surprised and glad to see Dr.Ramani in this podcast.

@GLEE36 4 ай бұрын

Good point T.K. I can relate to the uncomfortableness that people may not change with these characteristics. Especially when it's a family member, I share your thoughts with this, (I'm paraphrasing) I may be able to reach them with the right words. Thank you for bringing this up.

@jzen1455 4 ай бұрын

I find with narcissists, things get worse over time. They expect more and more from you but no matter what you do, it's not enough.

@MockingjayCity 3 ай бұрын

Good luck and keep us posted on your progress.

@drafederico 4 ай бұрын

My like already!. Love this collab😊

@crispycookie9739 3 ай бұрын

Will always watch content with Dr. Romani. She has literally saved my life

@MonicaGunderson 3 ай бұрын

"How their behavior that continuously hurts you, that's narcissism." Thank You Ramani. Currently in trauma therapy, healing, learning to manage C-PTSD due to recent covert narcissistic behavior abuse (2015 - Nov 2023), and past overt narcissistic abuse during preteen and teenage years, as well as childhood trauma. Currently No Contact with those who are not emotionally or physically safe / healthy for me. 💙💜🌻🎗️🤕

@vegancharlieleeblue 3 ай бұрын

Dr. Ramani is excellent and very precise!

@rosamariaortizpino1238 4 ай бұрын

I meet narcisists people occasionally, or with narcisistic traces. I follow Dr Todd's channael and other channels about psichology, and I have a zero tolerance towards them. I learned a lot, they take possitive or negative fuel from you

@user-oy4vu3ck3u 4 ай бұрын

I've been following you both for years and its awesome to see you collab!

@dyanberg6263 3 ай бұрын

I used to use expression that now I know the psychological term for. “”It’s all fishing stories.”” You’re lending me intentions I don’t have.””

@brg2743 4 ай бұрын

Dr. Ramini is the best! Have learned so much from her.

@thetruth9652 3 ай бұрын

I ran across this a while ago and I didn’t realize what was going on. I went to the bookstore and a book jumped out at me. The title of the book was “Narcissism”, I don’t remember who wrote it. I also read a book by M. Scott Peck titled “People Of The Lie”. Once you know what you’re dealing with it’s a game changer. I recently wrote a fiction book titled “The Fog, Erebus Narcissism in a NUTshell. Those of you that have never experienced narcissism can get insight on it through my book. I am trying to raise funds for a safe haven for narcissists abuse victims and their families.

@lifeofyuvathi 4 ай бұрын

Omggggg!! Can't wait for this! Love Dr. Ramani and of course what a brilliant collab!

@ladyesther 3 ай бұрын

Note: on the phrase: "I'm sorry you feel that way." I can't attribute to a specific person or therapist but I am quite sure in some self-help material they suggested this phrase so I had used it. I think I know at least 2 narcissists. It feels extreme for me to label someone but at the very least we could say selfish and I would admit to being selfish at times, however...self love is needed. Or at least I think so. I could be wrong.

@BearmoonRuneandTarot 3 ай бұрын

The biggest definer for me, to see if the person is narcissistic or not, is trying to bring up their behavior. They will say anything to not have behavior.

@kaddylady5853 4 ай бұрын

So happy Dr. Ramani was on your show! I absolutely love her, she is my hero❤

@lb1798 4 ай бұрын

I love how Dr Ramani agreed that the word IS OVERUSED, BUT then explained that the term narcissist IS NEEDED FOR SOME individuals ‼️‼️‼️‼️

@michellemorkel5956 3 ай бұрын

Dr Ramani helped me identify narcacists, I experienced things in my marriage and with my in-laws over the years and of late since my husband and I separated I saw those pattern of behavior full blown, my therapist is definitely also helping me with my healing journey

@BuckingBronco 4 ай бұрын

I love your guest. Brilliant! And funny, too.

@OasisJones 8 күн бұрын

3:07 why we need the word 8:18 not all narcissistic 11:24 awareness as social species 14:28 can’t change 14:53 complaining 17:38 17:55 narcs references inside 18:50 social media 20:39 vulnerable narc 22:12 it’s not you 23:08 calling them out 24:05 self reflective capacity 26:13 it’s not me 26:54 performative empathy 28:28 personality 29:43 what they hide 30:45 best version of you 32:05 who they attract 34:08 they win

@jaymartinjr.3316 3 ай бұрын

This is so good! My mother was married to a narcissist and it took her out mentally broke my heart.

@CozySophie 3 ай бұрын

Wow you had the legend Dr Ramani on! So powerful! Love you guys ❤

@GiantSlayer-rr1vu 3 ай бұрын

What about a covert religious narcissist? these individuals have been hiding behind scriptures bible and the Christian lingo for years. Will not go to the doctor. the pattern of saying the same stuff. Dr. Ramani, i love how you laid out the patterns of the behaviors. I'm going back to school to study Christian counseling with a strong area of understanding narcissistic people.

@Arun71150 2 ай бұрын

It's the righteous type she mentioned. So many in church are like this

@henokhsatrio8804 4 ай бұрын

I realized that I'm a narcissist. But I don't want to be like this forever. It's tiring.

@beerelf6397 4 ай бұрын

If you are really a narcissist, admitting this is a great starting point, a lot of people will never do this step. Second best thing you can do - find specialist that works with your disorder. It is really hard and people have different life situations, but in most cases you can not do much with out professional assistants. Please remember, that narcissism in a lot of cases is a scale from tendencies to full blow disorder. Yes, it would not go away, but you can manage your situation and adjust life around it. Especially, if you have kids. As a kid of narcissist - good luck! I never was able to show my mother that life was much more than looming fear and anger under inner critics eye. This disorder untreated will rob you and your close one's of happiness, success, connection with family and friends. I know a least one person with diagnosed narcissism, who was able to treat it to a degree, that do not tigger my spider senses after trauma my family left me with. We are not friends, but she was a great deal for me to work through anger and resentment left from my family. So it possible, do not afraid to start with baby steps.

@jzen1455 4 ай бұрын

There's a chance you aren't a narcissist. The vast majority of narcissists don't believe they're narcissists and lack accountability. They blame blame blame everyone except themselves.

@elaineclaire7063 4 ай бұрын

Empaths like me are constantly attracted to narcissists and it doesnt help that i come from a narcissistic family either, y'know how easy it is when people tell you to just leave them - well is not easy when they manipulate and gaslight you, i feel like im bonded in this unhealthy emotional bond with them, that everytime i leave, they just come back to me.

@Dancerlil 4 ай бұрын

I totally get that. Dr Ramini has videos on this. I listened to most of her videos several years ago as well as from other on the subject. For me personally it had to get even worse with some narcissistic families to finally all but cut them off. There was major narcissistic abuse in my former marriage as well as in childhood. Sending love & blessings to all dealing with this rampant issue. Liliane

@yuppers1 4 ай бұрын

I'm sorry. Same here. The best advice I've seen is to teach yourself to set and enforce boundaries. They will be repelled by this early on in your relationships. Easier said than done though. Another thing I've done is email myself what I remember (I said this they said that in response ) from conversations I've been in where I felt confused or frustrated after. When I calm down I read what happened. This makes things much clearer. I have to do this because i was raised in a toxic environment. It helps a lot to stop the gaslighting (at least I'll see what happened sooner). If I can recognize it, I can separate myself from that person sooner before I get in too deep. Also, remember that narcissists don't change, so plan accordingly.

@kathiejl1 3 ай бұрын

At 14:43 I like the host’s comment about the need to walk away from some people because I can no longer portray my positiveness and joy around your negativity because you bring me down more than I bring you up. This is why when my ex husband said we needed to end our relationship I just said OK.

@Blueskies7775 3 ай бұрын

My ex (covert narcissist), was a tall dark handsome, “kind” man, by everyone else’s standard. So they would NEVER believe me when I told them, he hit me, he called me names, he laughed at me, he withheld finances from me, he put me down, etc… I tried going to therapy with him and even the therapist was shocked at the things he was saying, like complaining that I would take too long to make a decision at a restaurant on what to eat, the therapist told him that’s not a reason to treat me the way he does… needless to say we never went back. Years later, my ex was charged with criminal offences to which he didn’t deny, and by that point I had left him for good. He tried desperately to get me back meanwhile having multiple relationships with other women (which he thought I didn’t know about)… he eventually couldn’t control what other people saw about him, his true colours were spilling and he couldn’t stop it… so he un-alived himself. I truly believe if he didn’t do that, he would’ve ended me and my kids lives as well. Narcissists CAN be VERY dangerous, be careful how to talk and behave around them, especially when alone with them.

@Vikcam-fk3fp 3 ай бұрын

To Mr. T.K...Your attitude and heart to believe that a person who exhibits high narcissistic tendencies DOES have the ability to learn better ways of interacting with others., otherwise they are a true robot with no ability to self regulate. I, like you, must believe that all have choices AND abilities to change attitudes and behaviours. However...in order to prove their worth in the eyes of many, they feel the necessity for making others feel less than...thus proving their own worth. To say they cannot change is validating their thoughts of, "I don't need to change or learn other skills...I CAN'T!!" ITS just the out that allows them to remain self centered. " I can't change, therefore, you HAVE to!" We actually let them off the hook because...they are sooo good, they don't need to change. Yes, it's a twisted way of thinking. He wants me to change because I'm so weak, and I need to!. I'm not letting him off the hook so easily by patting him on the head, saying, "You can't change, bless your heart. Just keep torturing people in your life. It's not your fault." IF these people groups are willing to pay the price of never knowing what it means to be truly loved, then that is soo sad!! But I don't have to be their victim to help them feel better... In other words...it's COMPLICATED!

@ActituddeGratitud 4 ай бұрын

Great conversation👏🏾

@rosamariaortizpino1238 4 ай бұрын

Excelent podcasts, always nice to listen to you

@leblurchick 3 ай бұрын

I have no idea what I went through during my marriage which had traumatic episodes until I read Dr Ramani first book . Thank you for shedding light on this and spreading the word . I was gaslighted and I simply doubt myself and went through domestic violence and minimising my self and had to change myself . I am now in the midst of separation . And I can’t wait to read her next book on how to heal from it.

@ladyesther 3 ай бұрын

I just want to say the lighting in this video is superb.

@sarahsyed-chaudhry1724 4 ай бұрын

Brilliant episode! Lots of great insights.

@munkami 2 ай бұрын

Dr Ramani you are so good on this. You owned it!

@LifeofFana 4 ай бұрын

Can’t wait for this

@Jbridge621 4 ай бұрын

Create distance and boundaries. If they press you you could say when we hang out I just end up feeling bad about myself and start to not like you. We just aren’t a good friend match. I don’t want to hang out because I don’t want to hate you. I’m just not gonna change so there is no point in us hanging out together…. But actually, I think you should totally ghost them, any contact just blows back on you 10 fold THERE IS NO WIN HERE!

@LadyGodivaish 4 ай бұрын

No explanation... they will push further 😅

@clarecollins2547 3 ай бұрын

I love the background laughter!

@justasimplesomeone 4 ай бұрын

I hear people say: Everyone is narcissistic. You have to be to survive. Ugh! I hate that comment! In fact, that comment is also quite invalidating and dismissive when you are involved with a ‘real’ one !

@ckvarnmass 4 ай бұрын

I'm enjoying the laughter, from the woman in the background. Seems to me much of what you are saying it really hitting her.

@slowlyweather 4 ай бұрын

how do we heal without being jaded? I find myself questioning everything i believed in and can't help myself but feel angry at them. i don't want to be a bitter person.

@nancywaight659 3 ай бұрын

Thank you . This has helped me so much.

@Greenwings701 20 күн бұрын

Changing terminology if the older terms have been misused can make sense. Levels of intellectual handicap used to be described with terms that are now quite derogatory.