This video is a parody, mashing up audio/video from Heathrow: Britain's Busiest Airport. This is not a true reflection of what goes on at Heathrow. (Having to say for legal reasons!)

I don't use the imperial or metric system. I measure with Kylie Minogues.

“More people fly out of Heathrow with dismembered limbs than any other airport” - a title to be proud of 😆

"she's busy hunting passengers down with a blow pipe, because she's a thirsty beast" 🤣🤣🤣 OMG!

“The passenger was shot through the head with a pistol”

"Because shes a thirsty beast" LMAOOO

"The passengers need to be cooked a bit more, they're a little pale"

"woman's handbag" "that's the first time I was called a handbag, and it was unacceptable"

“This woman missed her flight to Zurich this morning because she was *LOOTING* the airport” I’m crying

im sad you didnt edit "tools in their arsenal" to be "tools in their arse" cmon James.

"The SAS have a number of tools in their arsenal, to fight, Jessie J" 😭😭😭

"Premium lounge manager Neelam is overseeing today's delivery of Kalashnikov AK-47 7.62mm assault rifles" *we get that all the time*

*"It's the largest passenger aircraft in the world, and cost Quantus over £280."* *I mean, that's technically true.*

"Now that the belt is moving again, the dead and wounded are scattered all over the airport."

The queue can go for Like LoiK LiIiIk LIoIke Y’ know...like...minutes.

Since most of Just James' videos have characters named Just James, his videos can be considered self-insert fanfics. In this essay I will...

JustJames is the help I didn't know I needed to get me through quarantine.

"Crucially the huge plane can carry 520 primitive tribesmen"

With the flights crashing every 45 seconds

"Transporting more than 74 million terrorists a year" Ok then

Fun Fact: 'Kylie Minogue's lined up nose to nose' is the official unit of measurement we use down under. 😎

“...costing 14 times the price of *BARE-BREASTED WOMEN* ” 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

"Last year Heathrow confiscated everything from mortars, rocket launchers, machine guns, submachine guns and rifles to jars of jam"

Where tf do you get all these sound clips (“shrunken human head”?)

“14 times the cost of bare-breasted women”... how much is a bare-breasted women? Asking for a friend

Those jars of jam are dangerous, watch out

Ah yes, just James. Just the comedic relief we need right now.

“It’s the first time I’ve been called a handbag, and it’s unacceptable!”

“Passengers are preparing to use explosives to carry out small tasks”

“It’s the first time I’ve been called a handbag, and that’s unacceptable.” 😂

So if the plane is 3 metres long which is the same as 100 Kylie Minogues, that means Kylie is 3cm tall. To be honest, she is very short so I wouldn't be too surprised if she was.

Well, look who's back

"The equivalent of 100 Kylie Minogues lying nose to nose" 😂😂

Brilliant

RIP Jessie J 😩😭

I bloody love this channel. Every time I see there's a new one out it puts a smile on my face!

I read the title and thought: "what the hell are they on about?" Then I read the uploader's name and it all fell into place.

Noooo way, was literally watching this show the other day and was also looking at how long ago you had uploaded. More please!

2:45 onwards “ … and jars of jam” I’m fucking dying 😂😂😂😂

I started to question its legitimacy when he said”helping terrorists” lol

So glad you're back making more of these videos. They're absolutely gold m8!

THE LAD IS BACK

"and wants to perform an incredible juggling act."

When I saw the thumbnail I thought this was a documentary. Then I saw it was a Just James video

Oh ffs, for a second I thought this was an actual documentary when I remembered that it’s busiest airport and not a terrorist centre

Y’know, the queue can go for like, like, like, you know, like, minutes

Man it's been so long since a good Just James video. I hope you make more of these videos during this quarantine. There's a lot of good edits to be made of the crap coming out.

“It was the first time I was called a handbag and that is unacceptable” So offensive 🤣

I can't believe you are back, please upload more frequently in these times of quarantine!!!!

I've never seen a more impressive job juggling act, than that Just James fellow.

I’ve actually had quite a similar experience when I was last at Heathrow

I have had a bad day today and this has cheered me up! Thanks for creating it

As an aviation enthusiast, I was so happy when this came out!! Great vid James

Love these videos my dude. Keep it up!

I wish they would bring back come fly with me, then you wouldn’t have to edit it.

"Tracking a rogue *communist*, Jessie J, spotted over runway 2"

I am obsessed with your videos oml

So glad to see your channel pop up on my notifications! ✌️

Oh my god This is brilliant

I love these edits!

"nearly two more than its closest competitor" 😂😂 fuckin brilliant

"Communist terrorists are the number one concern at Heathrow Airport. Mark and Jeff from the SAS, a specialist unit, are tracking a rogue communist, Jessie J, spotted over runway 2." _"If I were in the wrong place at the wrong time, I could damage the engine enough to bring the plane down."_ "The SAS have a number of tools in their arsenal to fight against Jessie J. Mark has one more trick up his sleeve, his trusty pistol." *gunshot *smirking *RIP JESSIE J*

"It's the largest passenger aircraft in the world, and cost Qantas over £280" - I mean, factually accurate I guess?

I have been subscribed for almost a year waiting for a new video. Was worth the wait

How fitting that "Danse Macabre" is playing in the background, while the jovial British narrator rattles off Heathrow's proudest death statistics.

MORE VIDEOS!! Lots of love xxx

2 uploads in one year wow were being blessed

I needed this chuckel 👍

yayyyy you are finally back!!! keep it up.

Love this Just James!

Lol the specifics of the AK47 killed me 😂😂 bloody Neelam hahah

i hapax legomenoned out of my chair when i saw this notification

Not many people know how much editing and creative thinking stuff like this takes this is fucking art :D

Your videos are a different gravy. Absolutely brilliant😂

Please never stop making these james

glad to see your making videos again!

This is your best one, you’ve improved loads over the years lol

This has brought me nothing but joy thank you so much

Thank you so much for this upload, needed something to laugh about during this lockdown 😂

finally an upload, my life is complete, this is pure gold

Waited so long for a new video, hilarious stuff - well done man! 😂🤣

Unfinished London took an unexpected turn i see.

The fact that the narrator sounds the same for the original and changed lines makes it so smooth~

Welcome back! It's been so long since you last uploaded!

Glad to see an uploaded from you!

About time a new just james!!!!

This is one of the best ones you've done. Top level lockdown content

Damn, I hate it when someone calls me a handbag

" flights crashing every 45 seconds"

2:22 Erm I think we just need to tell the chefs that the passengers need to be cooked just a little bit more, they're a bit pale. That got so hard. XD

Wow. This is clean good job

James I guarantee you love making these videos. Yes it takes effort, I can just see u there laughing when ur watching back the edits

Iv just seen you're university challenge video and I knew you where british and its amazing

The best video to watch before boarding a flight to Heathrow

"It's the largest passenger aircraft in the world and cost Quantas over £280" is done so smoothly I almost didn't notice the edit 😅

Keep up the good work, haven't laughed so much since last year

I think this is your best one yet

Brilliant James Brilliant!! ❤️

no way it’s back

The most dangerous airports are the ones where students learn to fly You’ll see a student doing mach 2 on landing in a Cessna 172