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My god, woman! You have no idea how instrumental you’ve been in my healing, and that of several people around me. You’re a gift ❤

“In relationships, [people are] not reacting to who you TELL them you are. They are reacting to who you ACTUALLY are, and the way you are actually showing up.” Simply brilliant.

INTIMACY = into me you see.

“We don’t see things as they are. We see them as we are.” Anaïs Nin

This is the second video of yours that has made me say "whoa" - "You are not the final authority on who you are and how you're showing up. Other people hold pieces of that puzzle that you do not have in your own hands." I get so freaked out when people point out things I've done (or failed to do) that I didn't see. I'm getting better at validating my partner's observations and complaints, but this idea about blind spots is huge. I'll take this with me. Your ability to communicate complex ideas clearly is a gift - Thanks!!

This inspired me to revisit an argument with a formerly close friend of mine. I realize now that I was trying to protect my own self image, and I completely invalidated my friend during the situation. I messaged them to apologize, because they at least deserve a real apology. Not the half-hearted one I originally sent to them. Thank you so much for this video; it's inspired some really deep reflection.

yes kween heidi heal me

No words. You astound me every time. Each of your videos is worth months of therapy to me. This one is right on time for my healing journey.

I think what makes this so difficult is that people don't tell you what they're experiencing with you, even if you ask them (avoidant). Or they do tell you, but it's hypercritical and blown way out of proportion (anxious). So if they don't give you this information, you can't meaningfully integrate it and use it to change your behavior, and if they give it to you in a way that shuts you down, you also can't meaningfully integrate it because it's too disparate. It leaves you either guessing what went wrong and not knowing, or feeling bad about yourself/not able to process effectively.

I hope people realize what level of expertise and compassion Heidi brings to this video. It is a rare combination of informed advice and judgement free compassionate input to navigating complex human relationships.

This requires both parties to have self awareness first, and then decency. What I witnessed so far whenever you share a feedback even in the kindest and honest way, usually people take it as an offence and start fighting back by saying bad things about you irrelevantly. This is crazy!

This is not a simple process. You need a healthy conneceted internal guidance system (relationship with yourself) in order to know what feedback is worth considering. If you were raised in an abusive environment then you will have internalized things that damage you through the process of accepting feedback. You just wont know which is which until after you smash against the proverbial wall. Accepting "feedback" in a codependent dynamic is terrifyingly destructive and life threatening. A society can have pathologies, not just individuals which makes this very hard at times.

Wow, I’m securely attached after years of being fearful avoidant. I dated an avoidant attachment style guy and I kept having to tell him not to project onto me. I feel a lot better after watching this video. I was pretty far in my healing journey and introduced him to a few books and he started learning a lot and i truly think him having to see himself in a new light was probably a lot. I left and got over him pretty fast because the cons were higher than the pros. he’s a nice guy wish him more healing to come. thanks heidi for giving me that closure on my situation and why it ended.

Very insightful video! Sometimes you have to be careful about this though. If the other person is a toxic/narcissistic individual, they might hold up a very broken mirror to you and you begin to belief very bad things about yourself, which are not true. Because what you see in this mirror is not yourself, but the negative projection of that toxic individual. And thanks to the trauma bond you actually belive this person is a much better than they are.

Ms. Heidi Priebe, I don’t know what you’ve been doing recently BUT CONTINUE because these recent videos you’ve dropped over the past several weeks have BEEN SHAKING UP THANGS!!!! All your videos are amazing but these recent ones have SLAPPED TF outta me BACK TO BACK 🤣

For me I learned intimacy was having zero boundaries 😢

You are such a special gift to us all Heidi! I cannot express how much you have helped me with your videos ❤️🙏

What's interesting is that a lot of this applies even coming from the opposite direction of most of the examples- growing up the family and community scapegoat, I internalized extremely negative things about myself. Hearing positive feedback is uncomfortable and painful to me, because it doesn't match the ego-image (if it even counts as "ego", a tool of self-defense, at that point).

I'm in the middle of this situation now, and it's so refreshing to hear someone speak to the reality and difficulty of it all. Thanks for the info and encouragement!

When I see a new Heidi Priebe video, I watch the new Heidi Priebe video 🙏😁🙏 Thank you for your words. You actually make me consider doing the bell thing.

This video is probably your best work ever.

I would pay hundreds for information provided in your videos, I cant believe they are free! Heidi you are God sent ❤️🙏

Hi Heidi, I'm 28 going on 29 and I've been struggling with short term relashionship since I was 16 years old. My longest relationship was from 2019 to 2021 (on and off as he broke up with me 4 or 5 times during this "cycle") through your videos, I discovered that I am having issues with the "pull away process" as when someone starts to pull away a bit, it always results in me being dumped.. I am currently seeing someone since early November, we went on vacation together and he has seen the worst part of my anxiety. But he's still there.. (I'll admit it, I'm still surprised he is 😅) but I realise I am not so sure what to expect from an healthy relationship.. I've fallen hard for this man and I swore to do anything to become better when it comes to relashionship and communication.. so I started going through ALL of your videos and let me say, thank you. I cannot express how much you've opened my eyes and I cannot wait to see more of what you have to share ❤️

The art of being wrong, soooo well described by Heidi!!!! A therapist once said to me “ you know Terri, I’ve never seen god but I don’t think he looks like you”. I actually effin loved him saying that to me and I guess I’m weird cuz I really do like ppls feed back!! They never like mine tho but Heidi just gave me resources to help with that … ima read about, nonviolent, communication, authentic relating, radical honesty. Thanks a mil Heidi.

My girlfriend and I have been together for nearly three years now. She is very DA, and I am very AP. I started seeking therapy and speaking with a coach a couple years ago when I discovered attachment theory during one of our moments where our attachment styles became so discordant that it caused a breakup. I never really knew how to approach her and ask her to look into this until about six months ago when we ultimately triggered each other into another breakup and I kind of spouted it at her all in a fit of protest behaviors. During that period of separation, she, unbeknownst to me at the time, had taken what I said seriously and started looking into it. We mended things, and we have been communicating on a whole different level, with empathy and patience, and listening and asking that we are understanding each other completely. It feels to me like things are going very well. Then she sent me this video last night stating that she was "scared" to share this one with me (we have shared videos and ideas with each other before, including other videos of yours). I am not sure what to take away from why she sent it to me and why it made her scared. I asked her, she said she would explain later (face to face, likely, as we do NOT communicate effectively at all over text). So begins the anxiety. lol. But I trust her, in that her intentions are good, and for our betterment and vulnerable intimacy and helping our relationship flourish.

The issue with just accepting someone's reflections (or projections) comes when you're dealing with egocentric, deeply wounded and self-righteous people who you know won't reciprocate.

I’ve never heard a clearer explanation of what is most often thought of as the ultimate ‘grey area’ 💪🏼

Gonna watch this with my partner and have some meaningful open discussion love love love your work

Heidi, this is the best definition of love i have heard..i have always felt like that but could never articulate like the way you did. You are my guru in the truest sense of the word. KZfaq algorithm suggestion of your videos to me during one of my lowest points was the single most significant thing that happend to me last year. Thank you for every single video.

Heidi gets it, superior understandings of the nuances of attachment theory are the only way someone can explain stuff like this (where other people can't). Wish you the best and thank you

You're therapist business is going to be overbooked like crazy😂. The videos I've watched about self esteem and avoidance attachments is absolute pure GOLD.

Thank you so much, Heidi! I've consumed lots of content on shadow work before, but your content offers something practical and makes things click in a way others don't. So, thank you! I want to share how this video helped me in a practical sense by sharing an example in case it helps people that are in a similar boat as me (FYI, I'm a healing fearful avoidant with a ways to go). Anyway, I watched this video last night and then this morning I was rambling about my business to my boyfriend even though he's asked me MANY times to not talk at him when he is clearly preoccupied (which I noticed he was). Usually, I'd brush it off, attributing it to him being unwilling to listen and think thoughts like "I bet someone ELSE would listen", rather than reflecting on my behavior. However, after watching your video, when he expressed his frustration this morning, I allowed myself to absorb the critique. It was UNCOMFORTABLE, and I even cried realizing the truth about myself. I apologized to him and acknowledged his perspective. This is all to say, THANK YOU for helping me not blame the mirror and instead use it to help me grow and to slowly build a healthier, happier, more fair relationship.

These videos have been life changing to me. Being able to have language and understanding about avoidant attachment style has felt like being handed keys to unlocking myself that I have been searching for over a lifetime! My struggle now is the amount of damage my behaviors and responses in my insecure attachment style have caused to my marriage, and trying to rebuild trust with my husband (who errs anxious avoidant I think). One step at a time I think is all I can do.

Heidi, you gave me more understanding in a couple of videos than a therapy in a couple of years. Thank you!

When I was younger, I was in a relationship with a person who had degrees in Psychology and Psychiatry, so i believed he knows a lot and trusted everything he said about me and my feelings. Ended up being manipulated to do some things I never wanted to do, which deeply traumatized me and took few years of therapy to heal.

Towards the end when you said "This is love" I got teary

Your clarity about complex ideas is an art form. Thank you for making these videos - so needed.

So very timely. I was about ready to kick my mirror to the curb, but this has given me the awareness to approach the wounds I’m feeling from a new perspective, and continue to seek growth.

Thank you so much. I'm not in a romantic relationship, but I have annoying friends and annoying children and siblings and... well, the list goes on. This really reset my perpsective on just why they may be so annoying!! I've withdrawn a lot in recent years. I know it isn't good for me, but it takes energy to be in genuine communication with people. Thanks for helping me realize it's hard not because there is something wrong with me (and all those annoying people) but because that's the nature of genuine relationships. Gives me strength and hope for myself and my connections.

excellent teaching. I am finally able to get beyond “survival” mode because through therapy and very hard work, I have brought to light enough of the learned behaviours to expose the blind spots - and am experiencing true healing.

I can't thank you enough, Heidi. I've just started a relationship as a fearful avoidant in my healing journey and this video couldn't come in a better time! Thank you ❤

You are terrific. We need more therapists with the insight you have.

I'm 100% sure you just explained why i have to listen to your videos 20 times before i get it...

Every video blows my mind

Discovering your channel about a month ago has kickstarted my healing journey. 💜 I have barely started, but I already notice my perspective on myself and others starting to change (thanks to books, videos like yours, therapy, honest conversations, and a lot of self-reflection). Thank you, Heidi.

This is such a good answer to the question that is rarely asked, WHY is intimacy so hard for people

The section on mirror reactions really captures what's wrong with my relationship with a family member. You have such good insights.

You are helping me to heal as I’m on my truth seeking journey! You are bringing so much light onto things I was unaware of due to childhood trauma. But the cycle ends with me. I am considering starting a family soon and I want to make sure I’m securely attached first. Thank you for sharing truth, and over the past few weeks, I can discern that your intentions are pure as well as who is and who isn’t in my life. I appreciate your hard work to help people become healthy and the best versions of themselves

What a clear process you have outlined! Your example from when your own mind was blown by your friend's ownership communication was powerful, too. You dropped the bomb when you explained that this is called love. My soul is starved for this kind of love and intimacy! I am sure I am not alone. Thank you for this content.

Wow! This latest batch of info has been your best work yet. I will never be able to thank you enough. For someone who struggles, like many of us, you have come a long way. God bless you for putting yourself out here to help others make sense of our lives.❤

Exactly what I need: Feeling more uncomfortable with a partner than I usually do anyway. Letting that person pick me apart. Because they're not even supposed to come with positive feelings 👍👍👍 I was absolutely right to quit having relationships. Thank God I can start to hoard dogs now! That was the final push it took.

Long time viewer/listener here. My god. This video is beautiful, deep, and so helpful. As always, you have nailed the balance between providing the relational/psychological background to the issues while bringing this beautiful, messy, “we’re complex humans trying to show love to each other” understanding to it too. Your videos are deeply affirming for me and have been an incredible resource in my own healing. Thank you.

This 22:24 - 23:10 is where you read my mind (and made me delete the half-written comment in my head :) ) Thanks Heidi. This video was hard to listen to, as with almost all your videos. Which means something's working. Thank you.

This one's a certified classic, felt called out and triggered the whole time, 10/10 🎉🎉🎉

I just hope I could know this 7 years ago. As an FA, I had to learn it in a hard way. Your clear explanations and instructions really help my healing journey. The most challenging relationship for me now is with my soon-to-be-teen boy. I am with infinite patience and determination to pause, rethink from his perspective, and communicate, all because of love. This is a true definition of love. It gives us strength to face our fears and improve ourselves.

The amount of Life-Changing Videos of Heidi are just over the charts. Truly, truly amazing. Thank you once again for communicating this so clearly and empathetically.

I'm so glad you're back making regular videos

Thank you for the work that you are doing, and the gentle sensitivity you handle these topics with 🙏🏿

I've been a subscriber for a few months, and this is easily the most impactful video I've seen of yours. Thank you so much!

Phenomenal video! So much power! 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

You're spot on every single video!

Jedi, this is a beautiful definition of love. I really enjoyed this. Thanks so much!

i’ve been waiting for this video from you since ce forever, thank you!❤

I can’t remember how or when I found your channel but I’m so grateful for your content. Thank you! ❤

This is profound, Heidi, Thank you very much.

Heidi, I am so excited when I see that you uploaded a new video - every single time - and of course I have to watch it immediately! 😅 Thank you so much for all the time and effort you put in these videos.

Preach on sister Heidi, that was a super deep sermon that soothed the soul!

This is pure gold. Delivered with so much love. Thanks

This is great Heidi. You are so good at explaining this stuff. Thank you so much

This is exactly the video I have been needing, thank you so much for sharing!

This is the single most insightful video you’ve made for me

Wow!!! I am SO glad I found your page. This is what I’m going through now. Whenever something happens I always remind myself that I’m a good person lol.

Thank you so much for putting this all into clear words!!!

this video might just be the best self-help video of them all. What a gift. Thank you Heidi!

amazing stuff. great stuff to think about and try to integrate into our lives!!!

Heidi! This is incredible. Your videos have truly helped me in so many ways. ❤ Thank you!

This video has been life-changing for me. Thank you so much.

You’re changing my life with this information. God bless you!

thank you so much i watched it together with my boyfriend. ive had these concepts in my head but didnt know how to articulate it to him all the time when we have conflict and we end up fighting about the same things and the way you laid it out so nicely helped me to talk about it with him much better with proper terms and analogies like with the mirrors. tyty so much

Thank-you so much Heidi :) - Really, really appreciate all of your hard work, empathy and kindness.

What the heck!!!!! this was the best video I EVER SEEN IN KZfaq!!!!

I have been listening to you for quite a while, and I am impressed with your writing as well as your flawless presentation. Great work.

wow...i just mean, wow. this is so insightful and the way you explain is so easy to understand. thank you so much for posting this!!!

Wow. Thank you so much for this wonderful video. Truly one of the most helpful channels on youtube. You have a gift for explaining these concepts and a lovely, gentle way of presenting the data and encouraging reflection and growth. Again, thank you so very much. Your videos mean a great deal to many confused humans all over this silly rock.

You look ethereal in that lighting❤

So grateful to come across your content, you are so clear, concise, easy to understand. Very grounding. Thank you so much.

your hair looks so silky and perfect! 🧿

Thank you so much Heidi for this incredibly lucid and compassionate explanation of how valuable and how difficult this process is. I had not thought of intimacy as a mirror - it resonates. You are very generous.

This was amazing! Thank you!❤❤

She’s on a roll with each lesson, and as she is speaking, she then expresses the thoughts that are occurring in my brain- and answering the questions in my mind, with her next sentence. It’s uncanny. 😅 what a blessed individual. Thank you Heidi

This one really blew me away and resonated with me so profoundly and the way you so clearly articulate everything. I’m so impressed and so thankful that I came across your channel. Thank you🧡

Again you surprise me with your insights and the way you present it. So well described and a lot of “homework” and things to process. Thank you!

Stop everything, Heidi posted! 😭😭

These videos have been a godsend. More helpful even than the therapists I’ve been to. Thank you so much for this ❤

This video got me to subscribe. I’ve been watching your videos for a few weeks now off and on. But so many well-articulated and clearly explained points about what healthy intimacy and love require. Thank you!

I love the fierce and relaxed dive into this.

U truly nailed it ..all bases covered ..thanks ..and u have such a peaceful vibe

This was excellent. I look forward to the detailed youtube version of the same. Thank you!

Great video, I always learn so much! I can’t believe I have 10 pages of notes!