I think a lot of people raised in swedish culture also just have considerably stronger bonds with the people they consider to be friends than a lot of other cultures. I know as an american/swede, I experience quite different types of friendships depending on who I'm talking to and where they're from. My american friends rarely talk about anything beyond a surface level and they consider almost anyone their "friend" who is nice to them whereas my swedish friends really dive deeply into things when we have conversations and even then, getting a "friend" title is an important thing. I think that can make it hard for people who have always had many surface level friendships to move to a place that somewhat demands less connections but stronger ones.

There are differences between the cities and villages on the countryside. I live in Stockholm and have a house in Bergslagen. When I'm in Bergslagen, it is common sense to say "Hej!" to someone you meet in the street. Saying "Hej!" to a neighbour in Stockholm would cause a completely different reaction. We have spontaneous chats in Bergslagen - that would hardly every happen in Stockholm today. The only exception to the rule is my Italian neighbour here. We do stop and talk when we meet - and we both enjoy it.

As a Swede I can say this is really spot on.

As a native Swede, I’ve thought about this many times, since I don’t fit in the usual Swedish social behaviour you describe so well. It sure can be difficult to get to know new people in Sweden, if you don’t find yourself in the right context. And what contexts that are the right ones can be tricky to find out. It’s considered normal to talk to new people if you’re both taking the same ceramics class or something like that, but not normal to talk to the person next to you on the bus. And even if you’re taking the same ceramics class for years, and get to know each other quite well, it’s still not very common to take the next step friendship-wise and start hanging out outside the class. I don’t know why it’s like that. As an adult, I’ve found that more than half of my friends are not Swedes, but from Japan, Spain, Germany, USA, Netherlands and other countries. It’s not that I don’t like hanging out with Swedes, I do, but it sometimes seems easier to find new friends from other countries because there are not the same kind of social boundaries.

I think it's been said before on this channel, not by me, but I'll repeat whoever said it in my own words with a bit of experience myself as a Swed or as "Svensk" as we say. Why I believe this phenomenon happens specifically in Sweden at least might be because of how it works in school. For example: In Kindergarden I was with the same people from when I was about 5 until I was 15 which is 9th grade. That's 10 years of consecutive experiences together and perhaps myself got only one friend at the end of the all those years from a class one year younger than me, I still remember the fond memories of the others and to forget all those memories together is hard since I might have spent about 1/10th of my life with them if I live to 100 years of age. That's not to say that all my mates were in the same class in school, but we still were in the same boat for 10 whole years! Combine this example with the fact that sweden is population wise a small country, but a big country in km compared to most in Europe. Our people is very wide spread and so I who live in a city with only about 5000 people, I did not have much of a choice as a young child to pick friends. I had to choose between 5 friends in Kindergarden at 5 years old for example because there was no one else and that was the only people I knew at the time. As I grew older, the school expanded with more students and more people came in and you got to know more people. Our friends are very valuable because we grew up with them and it's hard to forget people you spent almost a decade with. Compare this with USA where the schools are flooded with a lot of students and where villages are at 100 000 in population! This probably makes school in USA more about learning about as many people as possible instead of spending more time with them, but that's my wild guess and as a swed who never ventured outside Sweden. Thanks for reading if you did :)

I'm an American but I completely understand the concept of not wanting to add a 'new' friend to your life so that you have time for the friends you already have. I realize that is not the case with everyone, but I find that it works for me and is necessary, as I have little enough time as it is and also deal with introversion, so keeping my friends circle smaller is healthier for me. 😊

Since moving to Sweden, I can honestly say it's one of the most isolating country I have lived in. I used to be an absolute extrovert but being here I'm now an introvert. I now understand how the average time foreigners stay here is only 20months I believe. It's mentally draining.

I agree with you on the Scandi style of interactions with friends and with dating. I’m from New Zealand we’re very friendly, chat to everyone, mix friend groups and invite anyone new to a workplace, sports team or even out and about over for dinner, out for a drink and very quickly try to make them feel “at home”. Now I’m dating a Swedish guy (and live in the U.K.) and previously dated two other Scandi guys and it’s very very rare even as a gf to be able to infiltrate their friend groups. If it’s a couples night out then we spend time together as couples, but otherwise it’s seen as weird if I was friends with their friends outside of them being there. Also, I notice this in the U.K. I’ve made friends here and went out on a night with my British friend. We ran in to a couple of her friends and we all hung out and had a great time. I had a house party coming up so I invited them and my friend told me that was weird as I “barely knew them”. But to me - a Kiwi - I thought that was the point, make new friends - invite people. Another time a British friend invited me and said she had to go to meet up with another friend. I said “oh invite her, we can all hang out together and make a night of it”. She said she liked to keep her friends separate. I thought that was soooooo weird and something that would NEVER happen in New Zealand. She explained “I have my work friends, I have my social friends, my hometown friends and my dancer class friends - I just like to keep them separate”. Whereas, in NZ - we’d mix them altogether and try to get everyone to be friends as one big group.

My husband is Swedish, as an American I had no issues developing friendships there. I found people in Sweden to be very welcoming to me.

I'm Swedish, but also a "people connector" (or used to be before moving out into the countryside). When I moved from Stockholm lots of years ago, I wanted to give a party to all my best friends from all the different groups I belonged to. It worked very well. Partly because I'm me I suppose, but also because I had stacked the kitchen tables with snacks and "hand food" and taken away the chairs. On the wall I had a poster with "Rules". "1. Nobody can put food into their own mouths. 2. If someone puts food into their own mouth, they must be punished, by hugging the person next to them." Several times during the evening I saw people who had never met before, standing at the table hugging each other and stuffing their own mouths full. There's nothing like breaking the rules!

I think Scandinavians are a bit harder to befriend initially but once you're friends with them they're loyal friends for life

I’ve tried so hard to make friends in Sweden, but after 9 years living here, I still haven’t managed to make a friend. Swedes are super friendly when they are drunk and will act like you are best friends. Then you see them out and about and they act like they don’t know you 🤷🏻‍♀️ also another observation…Swedes don’t like to stand out. They like to fit in and be as “ normal” as possible. I am a bit eccentric I would say and dress a bit different so this doesn’t help me in any way. I’m from Canada where it’s not that difficult to make friends and people are very friendly and more approachable. My husband is Swedish and him and his family are all amazing people and have welcomed me fairly well. I like it here, and will stay, but I really do just hope to one day make at least one close friend.

Here’s the thing about not having time for new friends: most of my friend groups are like a family - when they call I answer, when they are feeling bad I’m there, and vice versa! And I wouldn’t want it any other way. But, of course it’s time consuming and at any instance where I don’t feel like I have the time or energy that I would want to be able to help a friend, I feel like I’ve failed both them and myself. So, I feel that the statement of “don’t being open to having more friends” comes off a bit… off. Because it’s not that we don’t like other people or aren’t interested in getting to know them, it’s rather that (speaking of course for myself) I want to know them very much! And with that comes a selective aspect. And it’s basically like family planning 🥰

❤ Så bra , att du berättar om Sverige för dina vänner! Ha det bra Stefan.🙏🏻

been living in sweden for over 5 years now and i never thought about it but this made me stop and think and go, "yeah that's it" this is probably part of why living here suits me so well, since i'm on the extreme end of introversion

It´s true and very sad.. The dating culture in Sweden is awful too... Many times I really don´t feel like "typical swede" but born and raised here, with swedish heritage for centures back. Only good thing I can agree with is that we perhaps bond as friends on a deeper level?

One reason is that Swedes as a whole see Americans as Unicorns. Thats why you get integrated far easier compared to a Spaniard or a none reserved cultures

Nice video. I'm a Swede and I think the reason we keep small circles and dont like conflict is probably because of the cold. In the old days, if you made enemies you got thrown out of the warm cabin. Even worse, if two neighbors had a violent conflict, both sides would would freeze to death.

This is so accurate, and as a person that loves to meet new people, I hate it but understand it. Personally, I think it's loyalty. It's easy to remain loyal if you don't mix it up. As soon as you start getting into the social grey zones it gets messy. Probably the reason going out to a bar is ok because if your circle is somehow threatened you're free to remain loyal. And going just me and another friend is ok because the element of loyalty towards the group is eliminated. But also the reason 2 social circles meeting causes immediate red flags because if you don't like the company there's suddenly a dilemma of how you are supposed to act. Accepting it would be a defeat while not accepting it would be disrespectful. I think that's a big reason why many swedes opt to sit that scenario out.

As a Norsk, i rarely try to be friends with strangers, but i always welcome people who wants to be my friend! Naive with excperience!

I could write an essay on this subject but I'll narrow it down to two things that coincides with what you are saying. First of all, swedes are shy in lack of a better word. Secondly, swedes fears awkward situations. It's the worst thing that can happen to a swede. They can't handle it so they try to avoid it at all cost. And as a bonus for the audience from USA. You are the loudest people on the planet, especially as tourists, and swedes react poorly to loud people no matter what country they're from, so you come in the front line. Swedes are very soft spoken, the only time you will hear loud swedes is when there's more than moderate levels of alcohol involved. A drunk swede will easily "outloud" an american, no inhibitions whatsoever. Pitiful and embarrassing.

Swede here. If I go to hang out with my friend and it turns out there's a random person there (who is my friend's friend yeah, but I wouldn't care) I would be very upset! I didn't sign up for exerting all the energy it takes to be nice and get to know a new person. I just want to hang out with my friend. And besides, after that inital meeting this other friend and I wouldn't be able to hang out on our own. I'd be expecting the first friend to tag along every time. Oh and also, if a Swedish guy walks up to a Swedish girl on the street and tries to flirt with her, she'd think he's trying to kidnap her. Good video! It made me have a deep, deep think.

I have always been a mix&matcher when it comes to friends, even though I'm a tall blonde blue eyed swede. I love when my friends from different groups get to know eachother, but sometimes I feel this need from others for me to "choose side" and a big unwillingness from them to meet my "other friends". Usually these friendships never grow as strong though as the ones who are open to meet my friends and introduce me to their friends. So, you can find swedes who are like this, but to meet new friends in a new context you usually need to apply a more careful strategy. Don't ask them to hang out only you two after you just met once. A swede will then be creeped out and think for themselves "what do you want from me? Don't you have your own friends?". So instead, ease in and talk to them a couple of times to warm them up and see if you connect, then propose something!

Interersting to hear your perspective. I feel like we often wait for the other person to take the first step whether we are talking friendships or reationships. I like the fact we generally genuine but it would not hurt to be more open sometimes.

I don't know if you also acknowledge the fact about age. I've moved to Stockholm at an "old" age (33) and i find it hard to make new friends at this age.

My take on this is, that despite a stereotype that Swedes are not very social, they never the less are socil in their own manner. A) Swedes are very family-oriented, so that a simple birthday for one of the children easily gathers 25-30 people. Say, two children have two cousins their own age on both mother's and father's side. They have their four grandparents and a few uncles and aunts and some close relatives, who are married the second time, and a few childhood friends their families know well, too. As the apartments and houses many times are too small to make sitting for all the visitors, therefore in many families the celebrations for each child are like: one with the small family on the actual birthday, one party for the friends from kindergarten or school (you invite those who invited you to their party, up to the whole school class, maybe 20-25 kids), then one party for the relatives, and that case mixed generations, not unusual with 20 people. Because of the weather these must be indoors or in a party-tent if you have a garden. Restaurants are so expensive, for average families they are not doable. We arrive and leave simultaneously - the standing cocktail-party mode, or the French-visit (drop-in style). Here two hours are mostly kind of minimum-norm, or a whole evening (dinner etc) of min 4 hours. Then we celebrate each parent and grandparent, our closest aunts and uncles, and closest cousins, and there is a shortage of weekends and Xmas-days, New Year days, sportsholidays, Eastern day's, and of course the whole of May with exams, engagements, Christenings, and so is packed with celebrations, many of which are centered around family-connections. Then comes July and Midsummer which often is a bit more open and outdoor'sy, but for many a family tradition, too. The whole summer is packed with wedings and postponed jubilees. And many of these are two-three day things in a heritage-cottage. BTW most people don't have even one extremely lonely and "forgotten" family member. But their plights are taken care of in gatherings by churches, societies, municipalities, and charities. If the secluses want to come, that is. It is common that people volunteer to reach outto the lonely and sick. We don't have people who live in the streets and are homeless in that sense, that they sleep without shelter. Not regularly, that is, but I don't know too much about Stockholm, though. B) In Sweden we got a lot of festivals, concerts, "market-days", fairs, exhibitions, home-comings, and other gatherings outdoors - these are crowd-drawing for those who like mingling. Maybe you meet a lot of people when it is "fastlags-åkning, konstrunda, hembygdens dag, valborgsmässoafton, första maj, midsommar-firning", tall-ships-race, sports-competitions, beah-volley, världens längsta kräftskiva, folk-dance, jazz, heavy metal, rock, classical music-weeks, outdoor-opera and theatres, tivolies, tiding up beaches and nature trails, year around you have all about football-clubs and hockey, and dancing, and choirs, and in season winterfishing in holes in the ice. In November everything about Xmas begins! It's crazy much social activity! C) If you are a student at a university, join something called "nation". You'll have a lot fun, and you'll meet Swedes who have moved far from home after their "studentexamen" and they want to meet new friends. If you are a foreigner who is in Sweden to work, do join Swedish clubs and societies that organize people who like the same pastimes or hobbies For those who feel really lonely, do try to help Swedes who are very lonely and need a friend, find contacts via a parish or the Swedish Red Cross, which has a Friend's contact service. It is very versatile. D) Look for events, for example at the nearest public library, where there tends to be lists and calendars. Volunteers are welcomed everywhere, if you want to give of your time and energy. Don't hesitate to ask Swedes where you could find an opportunity to volunteer. If you study, contact a "nation", if you are working, contact the labour union, if you moved to Sweden for your loved one and feel lonely, then know that sports, parish, music, dance, or nature, can be the issues to connect around. Swedes are very effective and well-organized, it is not likely that a café is a good place to meet friends. But you can always suggest a "fika-paus" but don't be surprised if people decline, they take their whole future life in consideration before they consent! So they feel very responsible for getting anybody's hopes of friendship up! E) I would say that it is typical that Swedes do not use each other to while a way time and to use others because they themselves feel bored, like expecting friends to provide fun and entertainment only. Time is money and doing is appreciated in Sweden. Give a Swede a helping hand with their chores and they'll never forget it, and will try their best to return the favour in kind. Welcome to friendly Sweden, there is "a Sweden" (a context, a network) to suit everyone and anyone.

Detta är SÅ sant, verkligen ett svenskt beteende. Om en svensk blir inbjuden till en vän kommer den fråga "vilka kommer?" och om det är nån de inte känner så blir det stelt. Jag är sån själv. Om jag blir bjuden på en fest och det kommer folk jag inte känner så är min instinkt att tacka nej. 😅😅😅

I am an foreigner and I am raised in Sweden half my life and I can confirm this. Making friends through friend circle is a cultural behavior in Sweden. I think It has to do with the mentality of " If my friend is friend with this person, I can trust this person as well".

When men flirt with me on the street I just find it weird it's like if someone sat next to me on public transportation when there are plenty of seats it's just kind of creepy and annoying. It's especially creepy when it happens in the middle of the night on my way home from work, like to me being an immigrant is not that good of an excuse, depends on how long someone has been here but I do expect people to adapt to society and adopt the culture of the country they have decided to live in.

I find this very interesting… born and raised in Minnesota, and I have heard this my whole life from friends who have relocated here. About how cliquey Minnesota is, how we are only close friends with people we have known since kindergarten… maybe because so many here are of Scandinavian descent? I am not.. and I have also lived overseas, so maybe why I am more open? Not a hard and fast rule, but I did hear some parallels. 🤷‍♀️

This is really accurate för me as a Swede. Didn’t know it was unique for Scandinavia. I do mix my friendgroups from time to time, but when you wanna do something with around five people it’s so much easier to start by asking just one group. Also, I think the norm might come from friends getting jealous or offenden when several guys from ’your’ group hang out with other people, without you. People stick the their groups to avoid drama (even if most people don’t mind). Swedes do not like conflict…

I'm an EU citizen in Sweden, I see how some people might hate this but For me it was perfect here, no one bothers me and everyone minds their own business, I enjoy that. The only thing that bothered me was that an immigrant that was clearly on weed or some drug came up to me and said I was thick while my bf was gone in the train, I was really afraid but thankfully he walked off after. I miss having friends sometimes but the drama that comes with them is off putting and I don't want to deal with that anymore. My swedish bf and our online friends on games and VR has been enough socialisation for me the only downside is I don't get to practice my swedish as much, but like I said I see why that might upset your average person, though I think if you participate in a group activity, go to club or bar in sweden you'll definitely be able to satisfy your extroverted needs 😁

My husband and I are moving to Stockholm from Colombia in January. I’m watching this hoping to get tips to make friends there 😂.

Hey there Stefan great videos you´ve made! An Aussie in Stockholm here :)

You might be on to something. But at the same time. I don't feel like many foreigners even tries to befriend you here in Sweden. But as you said. Swedes are mostly shy around new people and stick to their core group of friends. That's probably just our culture I guess. Just keep trying, but try not to be to pushy. And you'll find at least one or two friends. You have to start somewhere! Being able to understand and speak Swedish is probably one of the most important things. Even though Swedes speak pretty decent English. Ofc It might be hard in the beginning. But just show that you're willing to try and do your best. And most Swedes will embrace you 🙌

If a person like me meets lots of people at work, I am forced to divide people into two categories, friends and acquaintances. Something that is very common in Sweden is that people say "this is my best friend". At the same time, they indirectly say that all other friends are less worthy! Another common thing is for guys to say "this is my female friend", to make sure it's not a partner, but "just" a friend. A pushy person who wants to befriend me quickly is always suspected of having ulterior motives. This is due to my professional role where they can gain benefits by knowing me. I understand if I have a special situation and sound a little paranoid, but this way I don't risk being disappointed - once again. 😂

Glad to hear it, I hope you stay for many more years!

Having spent time in the US and lived seven years in Spain i would say making friends in Spain is not easier than making friends in Sweden. Another thing about Spain is how important family is there as well as the pandilla of friends Spanish people seem to have. I really like Spain and especially the weather there and although i am fluent in Spanish, as a swede, Sweden is not too bad. Gothenburg is quite different to say Stockholm and other parts of Sweden. People are slightly more open here. At the end of the day it is all about your own perspectives and personality when it comes to meeting new people and letting them into your life. My overall impression is that Scandinavians value deeper relationships in general and invest a lot of time and energy for friends. For better or worse.

I'm 30 y/o swedish man. Me and my few buddy's, all have a significant other, full time job or study. None of us have a single child, and we don't even have the time to get togheter once a year. So just imagine the day someone decide to get a child, guess it's simple as. "see you in 18years, when i will be free again" So can somebody explain to me. Why is it so difficult for some individuals to understand, that some people don't need, care or even have the time to get more friends? It's not even imaginable for me to have more then 5 friends, i struggle to even remember my current friends birthdays😅 Or is it just a difference in how we define friend? What people are describing in the comment section, are an acquaintance for me, not an actually friend, if that makes any sense at all. Have a great day if you made it this far 😄

Nice that you are so interested of learning languages. I bet the Spanish is on top. Your learnt Swedish so fast. Great video. I agree, hard to make friends here.

...well said Stefan. As a swede i recognize this, im really not sure why this is the case in our culture. I really think there is something we are lacking and making people more Lonely - regardless of the reason. I hope people like you - American immigrant can help us change to the better and be more open to friends and new social situations!

Sweden is one of my LEAST favorite countries in Europe because it’s one of the worst countries to make friends.

Hey man! And thank's for a great channel :) To my idea: As somewhat of a Google Maps-junky I have realized that American citys - as they are much more newer, I guess - is built with straight roads, and squared blocks. How do american think of coming to Sweden, where a lot of citys is just a mess of roads everywhere without logic. Cosy or disturbing?

How many shallow "friends" do you need to confirm your own self image? You can interact with a lot of of people without pretending them to be your friends.

Been living in Sweden for a little bit more than a year and I don't have one friend here, Swede or foreigner. When I go to the gym or outside in the park and try to make eye contact with people, they don't even look into other people's faces. I thought summer might be different because I heard people are more open when days are long and warm but nope. I guess they are just more open to their own group, not to strangers and making new friends. Welp it is gonna be a long winter lol

I'm Swedish and your analysis is very correct!

Is that a bong in the bakrground? 😆 agree about everything you said im realy lonely becaus i mowed aroun a lot. I live in northen sweden

I am swedish, and I think this is correct. Actually, a lot of swedes do not even want any friends, and for them it is just work relations and family in their life. But it is a huge difference in what part of sweden you visit. Go to Jönköping or anything south of Jönköping if you want to find more social people.

I honestly think that your face have changed over these years and how you even speak english. It sounds different from the first time I saw you which I think was when you began this channel tbh.. im happy you enjoy it here and is also open to actually becoming swedish instead of trying to be both american and swedish like many seem to be stuck in being

That's really interesting. I'm born and raised Dutch, living in Sweden now since 2010 and I'm always the social connector! Sometimes I get frustrated because I feel I'm the glue, keeping all the social things happening, because everybody is so used to it. Nobody invites us because we're always hosting at our place 😂

yep it is very on point that it is found wierd to hit on someone on the street or in the store. i always did it when i was younger (around y2k) but now i think it is worse. and when you are just regular nice and open (friends always tell me im not acting swedish) to girls or girls that hang around with other friends they always tend to think im hitting on them. just so sad.

I'm from the UK, but have lived in Denmark for 32 years. The thought of mixing my friend groups sends waves of terror throughout my soul. Yeah….so… I don't go there at all. Whether it's because I've been living in this country for so long, I really don't know.

This "friends" concept sounds fascinating, could you explain it please? Oh, and by the way, I'm Swedish.

Is it hard to become a doctor in Sweden?

It is sad that it takes a long time to make friends in Sweden, that is also true for swedes/scandis themselves. If I ,as a scandi would move to another swedish town and start from scratch with a social network, it would probably take a longer time for me to make friends there than if i moved to a random town in southern europe for example. I also think that there is a difference depending on what social class you come from. Working class and second generation immigrants can be more inviting and welcoming, and among these socialgroups there is not so many limitations as described in the video.

my tip for getting to know people and making friends in Sweden is to join activities you'd expect likeminded individuals to be at: a sports club preferably a team sport like football or team-orientated sport like boxing, wrestling etc not fitness club, hobby groups, start up meetings, social causes depending on the type of activities you enjoy. Sweden has very well organised and free to affordable social clubs of all kind.

lol me as a swede.. you've got time to do things with your friends every week?

Har faktiskt aldrig tidigare analyserat det på det det här viset men när man tänker efter så håller jag med. Är nästa lite samma sak om man flyttar från ena delen av Sverige till en helt annan del så blir man endå lite av en outsider och får svårt att hitta nya vänner om man nu inte är super social... flyttade själv från Skåne upp till Norrtälje och blev samma sak för min del.

Hmm, I guess you are right. I am one of the swedish guys who grew up in an area where there were people from many different nationalities, litterally from all over the world but also many swedes. I was used to a more open social way of hanging out and a lot of generousity. But when hanging out with a swedish friend as a kid in their house was always so akward. The parents were polite but at dinner time, I was always left in my friends' room while they would eat. And this was not this one weird family, no, this was actually the norm I kid you not. I don't know if this is still normal, but I guess so I am not as old as my daugther claims 😀 it always bothered me and this strict social group mentality is one of the things I don't like about this culture. It's pathetic to say the least. So now as an adult It's sometimes confusing because I don't really understand my own cultures social cues. And when I go to southern europe to visit extended family, all though I feel so much at home and taken care of there and it's more like hanging out with the kind of friends, half or 2/3 of my childhood friends were, I just don't have the nuance from growing up with the language and customs. It's pretty strange I guess. But I feel I have gained a more open and warmer social ability and I just get bored with "too" swedish people 😀

Yeah, i’m swedish and the worst thing i’ve ever done was connect my best friends- because then they became best friends and i was left out. That’s how it is in small-town-sweden.

as a swedish 20yo i only have 3 friends. I have known them for 5, 9 and 11 years respectively. the rest are acquaintances

You have to understand. There is a huge consensus culture in Sweden, born I’d say from deep lutheranism. Its not ok to kind of do “you” if it go against the values of the “herd”. At the same time we have no sense of national identity. We are kind of like Singapore of Scandinavia and absorb all other cultures while having no identity of our own. There is also a huge middle class which have a “lick up kick down”mentality. Meaning it’s a priority to have friends at the same or higher socioeconomic position ignoring if you actually like to spend time with them.

Your background picture in the thumbnail is of Venice not Sweden!

Swedes are very easily annoyed with others, and the older you get, the less tolerance you have for other people. If a Swede hosts a party, there isn't just a list of people to invite, there is also a black list of people to avoid. So when friends bring and mix new people, there is always this risk of another boring person that you have to spend a whole night talking to.

As an American, I feel the same way in terms of having enough friends. Like making friendly acquaintances...sure. But never want new friends. It's maybe an introvert thing.

I think one aspect also, is that we have such a strong governmental state, that people grow into this false sence that they "shouldn't" have to work particularly hard (or at all) for things. We're used to have healthcare, schools, childcare, elderlycare and so on, for free. And that underlying mindset doesn't match with how humans/reality works, cause relatinships come at a cost, and that cost is generally effort. You simply need to put in effort in order to find friends, create connection, show that you're interested and care for people. You can't just sit at home, waiting for friends to just magically appear, or send in a form to the government and ask to have some friends sent to you. You gotta put in work, and I think a lot of other countries simply are more open about what demands are expected to be met from the people. In the US you actually have to work for most things, here you kinda have to work for a lot of things, but as long as you then pay your taxes a lot comes for free afterwards. And people get used to that.

Really nice video! I have been living in Sweden for a while but haven't had good luck making longer lasting connections. Could anyone here give me advice where or how I could make friends in Sweden. Partially it is hard for me because I can be shy and antisocial at times and fear awkward situations.

I would love to collaborate! I moved to a cabin in the nordic woods of Sweden from Miami about 7 hours away by train from Stockholm. Would love to connect Stefan!!

I found it easier to connect with other parents who are raised from a different culture compared to Swedish parents. I'm glad I have close connections with these parents. Without them, postnatal depression would have been harder to cope with.

Underligt tycker jag. Känner ofta igen mig när man förklarar svenskar men jag känner inte igen mig själv i det här fallet, jag är ofta öppen för att träffa folk, dock känner jag igen mönstret i samhället, främst tjejjer då. Män verkar mindre nervösa att träffa nytt folk av någon anledning, det är absolut min erfarenhet.

My son & daughter in law moved to Bro 2 years ago. They have made a couple of friends from work. They ate now buying a house.

Sweden is like ikea’s stuff. From distance it looks really good, but after you bought something Sweden becomes a swear-word in your vocabulary.

i think this has to do with that Most swedes take their relasionships (love/friend/acaintances ETC) quite seriosly they want to spend enough single one-on-one time with their friends so noone gets left out and noone gets forgotten in a corner....i (as a swede) would hate to invite a friend to a gathering and then for the whole durration just talk with them a coupple of minutes (feels like they might felt left out)....but maby that is just me ? några andra svenskar som kan håller med / opponerar sig mot dessa tankar ?

I was born in Sweden but lived most of my life abroad... when people ask me about Sweden (and I am forced to generalize a certain trait) I often say Swedes are "socially handicapped" and they love spending their lives inside a personal security blanket ... more than ever, this really drives me nuts ... LOL

This is true and understandable in many ways but it has it's negatives, makes it really hard for newcomers, specially introverted ones to make friends

Want to learn swedish. Pl tell me how

Does the cold weather in Sweden makes it's inhabitants cold in behavior ?

I'm a Swede and I struggle in Sweden.

My Spanish friends know my Sahrawi (Western Sahara) friends who know my Algerian friends who also know my Spanish friends :-)

Makes it so hard to celebrate my birthday because I can’t mix all my friends 🤣

Interesting , it seems good idea have circles friends

As a Swede it's quite hard to make friends unless you make other Swedes come out of their comfort zone.

if you learn to know someone in a group is not the same person as you know them 1 to 1. Both ar important though

I gave up making friend here after trying for nearly three years moving in Sweden.

This wining about making friends in Sweden is getting really old and it’s false. What I mean, it is not typical to just Sweden. Finding new friends when you are adult is hard and gets harder the older you get, unless you are outgoing and have no problems just talking to anyone. I lived in five different countries and in every one of them I had problems finding friends, because I’m introvert. When you lived in the US how often did you make new friends? And with a friend I mean true friend not an acquaintance. How many true friends did you make on weekly bases? Are you sure you didn’t leave anyone behind? Are you really saying that you would rather meet someone you just met, than your a long-term friends? You are describing Americans as shallow, with no deep friendships - everyone seems to be just an acquaintance. Not long ago I was listening to an Irish podcast where they were discussing difficulties making friends in adulthood. Irish people are very outgoing and friendly, it should not be a struggle to make friends there, yet this person was struggling. On the other hand, my Swedish teacher is very outgoing and has no problems making friends. The fact is, it is normal for people to struggle to find new friends when they are adults (especially if they are on the introverted side), plenty of articles online (even from the US), you add to it - moving to a new country and not speaking the language, it will be much harder. If you truly want to find new friends, you will have to actually actively look for them. Also what kind of creep is hooking up with random girls on a street?

You Feel like a superstar I swear I’m going back

i need 2 friends ty carry my cascet when i drop, thats all. if i had 100 plus friends i would never ask them how theyre doing and really put efort in to the answere, or even care about the answewe. If i have 3 friends, they cant hide how they feel when im asking, cause i know them too well. therefore counting ass real friends. other ppl is like classmate, gymbuddy or shit like that, ppl you only hang with to get something out of and them getting someting out of it. for example training. studying or w/e. and inviting someone to the click that the other friends dont really like could fuck up the dynamic in the group and start alot of frictions. i would never let my colegues from work meet some of my real friends xD.. another thing is that if i have 1 friend that another group meets for the first time and they dont like him. you kinda get put in the same category as him/her beacause theyre like if he likes him and he/she is like that, he must be like that too kinda deal

After 12 years living here…I don’t have a single Swedish friend 😂 and I don’t regret it. Most distant culture people I have seen 😅 (skin color matters as well)😂

Let`s take a coffie and make friends- Its not that difficult... We swedes are not that hard to know...

So... being an introvert is an acceptable social standard/culture in Sweden? I must move there. ;)

I'm from Portugal and, to be honest, I think our culture is somewhat similar. I'd find it rude or uncomfortable for a friend to bring a stranger to a meet up. Groups stay separate. Obviously, there are some exceptions. But I'd say it tends to be like that.

As a Swede I find the behavior of compartmentalize people a tad strange and sad…

Eyyy my name is also Stefan and I live in the north of Sweden

Så sant😂 (so true)

Guys watch 1.25x speed

This is what i hate about Sweden, and i don't have any friends here (despite the fact of being Swedish and that i've lived here my entire life) I hate the Swedish mentality. It has a strong "You can't sit with us" sort of mentality, like "Ew, a stranger, gross!" Thankfully people from other countries are way more open to get to know you and stay open to the possibility of friendship, etc.

If you've plans to meet up with me, you don't show up with someone I don't know. I would consider that really inappropriate.

You have understand the dating rules.

I don't like Swedish culture that much it builds loneliness into the system for the less fortunate for instance if your unemployed or a single mum in this social circle system how would they meet new friends (in church or single mum groups i guess)? To Swedens defense: In Sweden people hang out in interest groups like the scouts, or sports.

I’am Swedish an even I struggle to make friends in Sweden.. Finns and Danish are way better 😉 and easier.