Hi

Рет қаралды 58,793

21 күн бұрын

Oh heyyyyyyyyyyyyy gurlllll. I'm back 🙃 Today is a sort of grwm. I wanna talk to you about all the things I learned while I was gone...My 'time off' did not go as planned 🥲 Grab a snack and let's chat 🍎
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Пікірлер: 745

@janhuckabee9610 19 күн бұрын

I am almost 71 years young and have never done makeup like you do and never would, but I love watching you 🤩 It is very important for us to take care of ourselves, no matter what it looks/sounds like to anyone else.

@FourJaysFour 18 күн бұрын

Welcome fellow wise woman ❤

@SalmaRouyett 19 күн бұрын

Dude like.. you cannot have chosen any better timing. Literally like its the season of sadness for so many people and your videos were like therapy for so many. Although I am happy you realised you needed to take a break and be with yourself, im just gonna express a little selfish feeling here : I am glad you are back. Thank you❤

@AlexandraAnele 19 күн бұрын

Just know that when I do take breaks I will always give you heads up! 💜💜💜

@AM-zh3yd 18 күн бұрын

Why season of sadness

@bexk9713 18 күн бұрын

@@AM-zh3ydim wondering this too, even though im also sad 😂

@AM-zh3yd 18 күн бұрын

@@bexk9713 yess lol May/June wasn’t my greatest self

@bexk9713 18 күн бұрын

@@AM-zh3yd bro the next time I’m sad I will think of you and we can be sad together ❤️‍🔥

@marianadantas14 19 күн бұрын

I think to stay away from social media is super important to our mental health.

@culturecrashAL 19 күн бұрын

For real. I haven't been on Insta in like two years, FB and Twit literally never (aside from seeing tweets/posts embedded in articles). Even though my Insta was mostly friends and fellow weirdos (no following diet-shilling influencers and hyper-filtered "check out my unachievable [fake] lifestyle and unachievable [fake] body/face/hair" garbage) I do nottttt miss it.

@k666ti 19 күн бұрын

agreed!

@susankolb8852 19 күн бұрын

Welcome back.

@Rosiedelaroux 18 күн бұрын

So why are you on here.

@freakypeep727 17 күн бұрын

We should start a month off. No June Social Media.

@bigbucketlist 19 күн бұрын

OCD is truly a horrid curse. Would love to hear more people talk about it! I have been in CBT several times for several types of OCD, and I am beginning to think that my brain is wired to always have some kind of compulsion, it just seems to move around to different subjects. It isn't "I just like it when things are organized, I'm such an OCD idiot, lol!", it's more like "these pants pinch in a way that makes me have a full blown panic attack, so I'm rotating in and out of every pair I own for 2-3 hours just getting more and more frustrated, and I will not make it to work today". I am at the point in my life where I can speak about it in a light hearted way, but I definitely know that there are people that feel the weight of shame that almost always comes with it. So please share your stories as you discover them!

@cynthb 19 күн бұрын

I was diagnosed with OCD and anxiety in 2002? 2003? and it took a couple of years to find the right combination of meds but they were life changing. I'm now in SUCH a better place that could never have happened without that understanding that my brain is just wired that way. My husband has been such a supporter and he has seen the change. There needs to be more talk about mental health and stupid brains. Hugs.

@acppeixoto 10 күн бұрын

You will be ok! It's a struggle but anyone with ocd can live a healthy life😊

@mackenziestanley3280 19 күн бұрын

sometimes being scared is how you know you’re going in the right direction. important things are high stakes, but being nervous doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong. thanks for being so real, it’s reassuring to see you critically reflecting on what you want and need because it reminds me to check in with myself too

@evas4455 19 күн бұрын

‘Sane people stay silent’ So true!

@ashmora8296 17 күн бұрын

I get what you mean but also not always

@TriniTheSenzuBean 19 күн бұрын

hi alex!! im a late diagnosed ADHDer & OCD. these two tend to have similar traits & what you’ve described def sounds like obsessive compulsive behavior, so strong that that they can cause anguish or for you to feel very uncomfortable & anxious if not done. Getting diagnosed with ADHD has changed my life 🥹 i would love videos on that topic (that is if/when you feel comfortable in doing so) bc it’s insufferable 😭 i truly hope the therapy helps you. best of wishes

@disney.daze.55 18 күн бұрын

I also thought this sounded a lot like OCD.

@emma_luce_0623 17 күн бұрын

Definitely OCD. Me and my mum have it. It's so difficult to deal with.

@randi_bee 17 күн бұрын

Same, not treating my medically but finally understand myself has given myself grace - and also finding others like me, allow me to not feel so bad about it.

@yoitselliesarah3988 18 күн бұрын

Alexandra’s voice is a whole therapy session i swear to god

@eleanorjenks7874 19 күн бұрын

OCD is a very complex condition and it’s brilliant you are sharing some of your struggles, as well as brave. I hope the therapy helps you. I spent 3 years in therapy going between once a week and once a month for my anxiety and relationship patterns. It can be so hard. All I can suggest is lean in to the discomfort. Embrace it if you can ❤

@Isobeln 18 күн бұрын

I’ve over 50 and struggled with OCD + perfectionism, anxiety all my life. It hit a fever pitch once I moved into a much larger house that was really hard to maintain + work. I’ve learned to embrace the beauty in the imperfect, taken ownership for my choices - sometimes that means I choose to be happy and enjoy myself instead of having a perfect house, things or me - and live in the now. That often means compromising with myself on expectations and not judging myself and understanding where those judgments are coming from and why I NEEDED to have things a certain way. Therapy helped me significantly after I found my therapist, embraced the process and did the work- in my case a couple years of EMDR. I almost never have these feelings now and if I do, I move on quickly.

@agirlwhopaintslove8053 18 күн бұрын

I have diagnosed OCD, and the part about what I assume is an OCD and anxiety talk in this video - I find it so interesting that I tend to gravitate towards people online and in person, and then I later find out they also have OCD or are neurodivergent. I just think its interesting to know other people out there are dealing with the same things. I tend to stick with watching certain youtubers when I'm having anxiety attacks or can't get past certain routines I've made up in my mind, including this channel, its just overall really calming and informative:) I also relate immensely to the things you said about the clothing changes and dishes and etc. Thankyou for sharing !

@deeb66 19 күн бұрын

Freakin gorgeous!! I’m 75 and that makeup look is pure art!!! You’re fantastic and pretty normal! But I certainly get the it, the need to re-define who you are, who you think you are and appreciate who you thought you were! Best advice I can give anyone is “to thine own self be true”! Thank you for sharing! ❤

@IntheHazeX 18 күн бұрын

You look beautiful and I never would have guessed you're 75!

@deeb66 17 күн бұрын

@@IntheHazeX thank you!!

@SBTemples 18 күн бұрын

As someone who was diagnosed with *severe* OCD by a neuropsychiatrist 15 years ago, I get it. And as someone who spent years on and off in therapy that included treatment for my OCD, I get it. It is life changing, and challenging, and mind-effing at times working through and finding the sheer *amount* of layers of stuff under the rug so-to-speak. BUT, now it has minimal impact on my life (oh, there's PLENTY of other things I'm working on still) but to not be controlled by every intrusive thought and the hamster wheel of compulsions is...anyone who lives with OCD gets it. It is *unreal* how much of your energy and day is returned to you. Would love to hear your journey, and thank you for sharing and being vulnerable. You're absolutely not alone, and I'm excited for you that you're making time and space to better prioritize your wellbeing as well as passions. Here with you always, even though I'm usually a lurker. ❤❤❤

@emma_luce_0623 17 күн бұрын

My physical compulsions are the worst part. I can handle the horrible intrusive thoughts but getting stuck doing the same thing over and over again, or sitting on the bathroom sink picking my skin raw 'til it bleeds for absolutely no reason, really sucks. And I start bawling because it hurts me internally to be trapped in the cycle but it also hurts to just walk away without "finishing" the cycle.

@magdalene6998 19 күн бұрын

Your content is important. Not because your makeup applications are out of this world creative and beautiful, but because it is inspirational. And when we are inspired, we have the biggest chance to get in touch with the deeper part of ourselves, that helps us to move forward better in life, and connect with our own creative flow. Art is beauty, and beauty is one of the high values of life that connects us to Truth. And your makeup applications are definitely Art.

@FourJaysFour 18 күн бұрын

Beautifully said ❤

@claudiabothma 16 күн бұрын

I just love how the visual Alexandra is so respectful of the talking Alexandra, silently presenting and showing products to the viewer without disturbing talking Alex who is baring her soul to us. Love you Alex!

@bumblebumbletree1568 19 күн бұрын

Girl we are here for whatever you want your channels narrative to be! My man also deals with some obsessive behaviour. Mostly around hygiëne. He's aware of it, it annoys him sometimes, but he's not atm actively trying to change it. He has done so in the past and it felt really liberating to him. Things like taking time of of work or travelling can (in my experience) really help with more rigid mindset/patterns. I hope you can also get some liberating for yourself. Kuddos for actively making yourself learn and grow eventhough it's scary❤

@LexiGoLightly 19 күн бұрын

I have depression and anxiety like pretty much everyone else, but I recently was diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder and when I tell you the dots in my life that connected?! Wow 🫣 proud of you for taking the necessary steps to protect your mental HEALTH 👏

@TheFlip_Side 19 күн бұрын

I’m so sorry excited you are back and I am sure the break was beyond needed. Your mental health and having time to yourself is beyond important. Having your space and your time is the best for you. I’m glad you had this time and those that support you will be here. I loved the pictures of your cats and made me smile.

@Justmyeverydaylife7 19 күн бұрын

That’s so funny, I subscribed to your channel yesterday, because someone from makeup Rehab Reddit recommended your channel. I struggle with obsessing over things, currently it’s about makeup and watching KZfaq, and before like you it was about how things were arranged in my home and furniture placement, other times about declutterring etc. There’s always something. Totally get the prison feeling, thanks for sharing. It’s been a year I’ve been unemployed due to chronic pain and it messes me up too so I try to focus on other things other than pain/anxiety over it. Yesterday watched inside out 2, was crying the whole movie but really makes you think about emotions lol. Sorry for the long comment lol

@AlexandraAnele 19 күн бұрын

I'm so sorry to hear about your chronic pain. I can imagine that not being able to work as a result would contribute. You're not alone! If it would be helpful for me to share my experience dealing with my obsessions/compulsions I absolutely will. Never apologize for a long comment, they always remind me that REAL people are watching my videos! ❤️❤️❤️

@Justmyeverydaylife7 19 күн бұрын

@@AlexandraAnele thank you, and thank you for replying 💕:)

@sweet-red 19 күн бұрын

welcome back! ⭐️ as someone recently diagnosed with ocd (Dx about a month or two ago), this was very relatable and (if/when you’re comfortable) i’d be among the many who want to hear more about your thoughts and experiences 💌 wishing you well through this treatment, whether it works for you or not, and in your overall journey!

@shortstackishere 19 күн бұрын

Just wanted to say ditto to this! I was diagnosed with OCD two years ago. It was such a relief to know I’m not alone in this and my feelings are valid and experienced by many. I wish you luck and anyone reading this who is going through anything similar 💚💚💚

@paulakittyodriscoll999 19 күн бұрын

I also have OCD, I found out when I was younger, like 10 years old. I'm 53.now.

@just2lovable 18 күн бұрын

Such a relief when OCD came into the video towards the end! Hearing your description of your first week I was like *oh shit she’s like us & she doesn’t know!* Looking fabulous as per.

@TJ-bn2cn Күн бұрын

I believe people can relate due to you being honest, normal, understanding and kind is why people can relate. We all have difficulties, some more than others but there’s no lines that say how you react of feel about difficulties. Taking time off is a healthy thing to do and of course genuine people are going to support you doing that.

@eptr8878 19 күн бұрын

Oh girl I relate so hard and it's comforting to hear that other people experience it too. For me, it's almost better for my mental health to be swamped with work because when I have time to myself, my brain has the time to over-analyze EVERYTHING and tell me how I'm doing everything wrong in life. And then there's the pressure to "maximize" time off/spend it "perfectly" which...is not the purpose of resting. But also rest is important. Blech. It's great to have you back and hear your thoughts!

@brandiphillips3441 14 күн бұрын

Alex, as a fellow perfectionist I can say I hear you and am sending you a big effing hug. I started painting about 6 years ago in lieu of journaling to see if it helped. I wanted to paint how I felt and that first time painting I was painting and bawling. It was wild. Now as a wannabe pro artist I can say if I haven’t painted in a few weeks, I feel the swell of anxiety build. After I paint I feel like the steam has been let out of the kettle. And obviously, the painting process can and does create stress in my mind because I feel inadequate but when I let myself paint whatever and not have expectations, I feel so much better. So, my unsolicited advice is free yourself with your paint and canvas. Paint your feelings and get that shit out. Please give yourself a break!! You’re amazing and so loved. And you’re “perfect” just as you are. ❤❤❤❤.

@bugsybrown1745 19 күн бұрын

It's lovely to see you back and minty fresh! I struggle with anxiety and perfectionism too. I am lucky enough to work from home 3 days a week but was still very rigid with my thinking and routines. I think they feel safe and familiar the more we do them. Taking time to reset can help you figure out what that fear is behind the strict routine or thought pattern. With me, it's usually anxiety around people or not wanting to leave my safe, comfy apartment with my kitties. Once you give a nod to that fear and acknowledge it without judgement, it can be a little like a little kid who feels seen and then you open up a bit more. FWIW, you're normal and you're taking time to get to know your brain. My brain and I are friends, even if he pisses me off sometimes! 🧠🤣

@profesorahb 10 күн бұрын

Oof, I feel this perfectionism SO MUCH. It usually completely paralyzes me, or forces me to hold on to projects LONG past they should be completed. It's getting better with age and a lot of therapy to find areas where I can practice letting perfectionism go. Interestingly enough, KC Davis' "How to Keep House While Drowning" helped a lot with that, because it turns out I was equating perfectionism with moral goodness. I'm so glad you took the break you needed and gained the insights you couldn't get while in the daily grind.

@gemmalouise6631 19 күн бұрын

It's lovely to see you back. I was diagnosed with OCD earlier this year and I completely relate to most things you're saying. I have my fiancé wash our dishes as normal, and then I go in and do a second (and sometimes third) safety wash lol. Even if they're very clean, I do not feel right and cannot use anything until I've re-washed every single piece. I knew I had OCD way before being diagnosed, it runs in my family, but whew. It soo so hard to live with. I hope you are doing okay. If you ever need to talk about it, we're all here x

@brookie_cuqui 18 күн бұрын

What's not to love about any aspect of this? Glad you're back! Killer vibe, killer vulnerability, killer look.

@dorothycouper4109 19 күн бұрын

I’m a musician, and I feel like all people in the arts go through the same crushing perfectionism. After about 10 years of therapy I can now take time off and not feel guilty. I hope you get where you need to go! We all watch your videos because it’s your art, not anyone else’s:)

@ctheo2020 17 күн бұрын

💯

@samantha312314 19 күн бұрын

I can 100% relate to this video. Thank you so much for being so open. My mom, son and I struggle hard with diagnosed OCD (along with a few other neurodivergent items sprinkled in). The struggle is phew, something else! My mom is more on the compulsive side and my son and I are more on the intrusive thoughts/obsessions side. All of us have anxiety to the max. Therapy has helped and meds were a game changer for us. I know not every one is med centric but it was the answer for us. Good luck on your continued journey! ❤ Oh and a side note !! Not trying to be “that” person … but 🫣my pet peeve is when someone likes order and says “OMG Im so OCD” 😬 I wish it was as easy as just liking to straighten up and be tidy!

@iaelborntosing9756 19 күн бұрын

Alexandra, you can't imagine how much i can relate to you. I can't leave "a task" 'til it turns out "perfect". You're not alone. Thank you so much for sharing it with us. Welcome back 💕🙏🏻

@susanmcewan5759 17 күн бұрын

So nice to have you back girl. My daughter has an anxiety disorder & is on medication for it. I never knew anxiety could be so debilitating - my heart breaks for her. She is beautiful and kind and sweet and talented - like you - but does not see any of these things in herself, it got so she couldn’t even go out to a supermarket or be in a room with people she didn’t know. I hope your month off was fruitful & you feel better for it, you obviously needed the time. Those of us who watch your videos & love you will always be here for your particular brand of sunshine ❤

@laurieann2714 12 күн бұрын

I definitely can relate lto the anxiety aspect. Im 58 and while it isn't crippling, it does affect my sleep. Social media breaks arrle healthy whether you do it as a living or consume its content. I do appreciate sane and constructove comments and i like to follow people who's subscribers are similar. Glad you are back though! Thanks for the video!

@dieforfashion27 17 күн бұрын

My first comment on this youtube channel. Everything you’ve said it’s all about me..anxiety, compulsive things to do, lists, controlling and rules. Man just love your profile and your makeup and thoughts. I agreed with this stuff, thanks for being a human. So much love ❤️

@Olivina330 17 күн бұрын

My best friend is in targeted therapy for OCD and it's such a process, but it definitely works. They're going through "triggers" right now from the softball to the hardest, and she's so relieved with how much progress her therapy has fostered. I'm over the moon that you took some time off, and I'm so excited to see more boxless Alex content, you deserve the world!! ❤🎉

@YuukiTakaya 18 күн бұрын

I’m a teacher and of course I get summers off. To preface this comment, while I am working during the school year, I get to work an hour early and often stay an hour or two after school is over (So about 10 hours a day). I would often go home exhausted which takes a toll on my home life. Anyways… when it comes to summer, I have the freedom to do the things I have neglected (and pushed onto my partner). I noticed that I only have 2 modes: either I’m on a cleaning binge deep cleaning things that haven’t been done to the point of exhaustion or I literally don’t do anything- like can’t even bring myself to turn the TV on to watch a movie or show. I would just lay down and watch insta stories or KZfaq shorts. I would then feel very shameful that I’ve been so lazy and it would jump start the “manic” phase again. This video definitely resonated with me

@PwnageFury 19 күн бұрын

So glad you took the month off and glad to see you back. This may feel a bit random but when you were talking I had a vivid memory of a a metal sculpture a friend of mine made. The sculpture was of a cage with two hands tightly grasping the cage bars on one side, on the opposite side of the cage is an open door. It is all about those cages we create for ourselves and can leave if we find the way. It sounds like at a minimum you are loosening your grip on the bars and planning a path to get to the open door and break down those boxes.. ❤

@nightclub4cats 17 күн бұрын

I can’t tell you how relatable this is to me. I’m so emotional right now… thank you for making this video. I feel so heard

@AlexandraAnele 17 күн бұрын

🫂

@justilou1 19 күн бұрын

Well done for choosing yourself. It takes guts to commit the time and space to focus on yourself and realise that you need to get back in control of your mental health and environment.

@janelleg597 19 күн бұрын

Treat Yourself like someone you are responsible for helping ❤

@mantizq9621 19 күн бұрын

Hey! It's great to see you back. I'm doing my nails while listening to you. I'm glad you felt the support to take free time and now you know some radio silence won't be the end of your life

@alicepirola7077 19 күн бұрын

I have suffered from various types of OCD since childhood. There were aspects of my childhood way beyond my control... like abuse of all kinds. My way of organizing my mind to live through the day and feel as though I had some power, was OCD tendencies. The perfectionism, the magical thinking (which simply means that if I do THIS, then everything will be okay) and also the cleanliness aspect of OCD, have haunted me my whole life. It has not been until I reached my mid '50s that I had finally gone through enough therapy and self work that I have been able to live with myself and others in a reasonable way. The other thing that happened was people in my family had to put boundaries on me to curb the behaviors. I don't want to get too messy on here, but it does get very messy and I get that. Alex you need to give yourself some gentle time to realize these feelings are stemming from something in your life that you felt at one point out of control about, and you have been trying to fix that in any way your mind concocted since. I only speak because I have had extensive therapy around this and there are ways to curb and reprocess the thinking in your brain to form new synopsises. There is hope and I know you are smart and very wise. You will find your way out of this. As I am a mental health advocate and I speak on mental health issues, and I'm actually starting a KZfaq station for it, I want to appreciate you for bringing these things to light. You certainly have a massive audience to listen and observe, who enjoy you and will learn from you. I pray you continue to take steps in a direction to heal within the hurting child. God bless you always Alex, Alice❤ As an afterthought, and it just came to me, I would love to interview you on my station one day in the future on this topic. It really escalated with COVID and many people suffer. It's because we couldn't control anything about COVID that many people fell into OCD thinking. I hope this is something that happens, us being able to talk.😊

@amcortez 18 күн бұрын

I'm 44 and have had OCD since I was in middle school (diagnosed at 18). Thank you for sharing yourself with us. It's comforting to know that we aren't alone out here ❤ The community is here for you, too.

@shadowangelina7155 18 күн бұрын

Glad to see you back! It’s not easy to identify that you need assistance and then go get it. I’m proud of you. Having OCD is nothing to be ashamed of. Compulsions are a canary in the coal mine letting people know that our anxieties need addressing because compulsions can control and curtail our happiness and possibilities. Proud of you!

@melp723 19 күн бұрын

LOVE the look!! My daughter and I have been diagnosed with OCD, and completely relate to your challenges with being uncomfortable. It’s a struggle. 💖

@Vee_of_the_Weald 17 күн бұрын

Alex, i watched one of your very early videos a few weeks back and girl, you’ve come a long long way in terms of how your speak to yourself and about yourself. You were so hyper-critical back there that your fantastic sense of humour was completely muddled and squashed. You should be so very proud of yourself. I know i am.

@tinad8561 19 күн бұрын

The to-do list thing rings true for me. I’ve felt like crap for a little while-performance anxiety and an edge of depression-so I write to-do lists full of random tasks so I can just pick something off it to keep a depression spiral from being the only thing I have to show for my time. Today’s to-do list? Completely done. All boxes ticked. Still feel like I’ve done nothing.

@xCindyLouWhox 18 күн бұрын

I relate to this a lot.

@AmitaMusic 18 күн бұрын

I am currently a therapist in training in my internship right now and I just received intensive training on ERP treatment for OCD two weeks ago. Through that process I also realized that I myself have struggled with various obsessions and compulsions that I didn’t even realize were technically OCD related! I completely understand why this process would feel so scary- your therapist will support you the whole way through. this might sound generic but you’re not alone in the experience ❤ I truly thank you so much for sharing

@sandilang3845 19 күн бұрын

Thank you to you for making me feel normal. I too have anxiety over cleanliness because I can clean something and step back several times to look at before it’s clean enough for me. I can also relate to be comfortable and feel good about myself when I’m made up and have on a nice outfit. I’m afraid to go on for I would take up so much space. But I definitely have OCD!

@kimmiec.peridore886 17 күн бұрын

I love watching you put on makeup. It's like an artist 🎨 painting a picture. You are incredibly talented. 💙🦋☮️✌️ You are definitely not alone. I can relate to your feelings. You are so gorgeous!

@kristinbagrier178 17 күн бұрын

Thank you for having the courage to share this! Mental health is a topic that is fortunately more openly discussed than it once was but there's still a stigma attached. This makes me love you even more. I constantly struggle with my mental health. Please keep being unapologetically you.

@sydneyhembree3905 15 күн бұрын

As someone who recently got diagnosed with OCD, I’ve realized it aids me in my job because I’m a highly functioning perfectionist. However, it can be quite dysfunctional in my personal life. I can empathize with your current state and am proud that people like you are transparent because it makes us all feel a little less crazy

@coydogbb 8 күн бұрын

I really relate to this! I got diagnosed with obsessive compulsive disorder this year and I was put on a mood stabilizer- it has helped so much and I'm able to be "uncomfortable" safely and without spiraling.

@Beepboopbeepboopbeepboo 12 күн бұрын

Sitting with the uncomfortable is so hard and so important. I feel like I learn a lot about myself when I do it. Also, I recently moved to my own place for the first time and I'm coming face to face with the fact the safety and happiness of my space relies completely on me. I can complete responsibility to make my life what I want it. I've been incredibly independent but so many times we are our own prisons and it's frightening. Anyway, I think your audience is chill because you are. You always give us very authentic and not pushy or performative videos. So I think people who watch you look for the genuineness in themselves and others. You can thank us, but thank yourself. You curated this following Glad everything is going well for you! Also loooving the baby blue C:

@annapagano5428 11 күн бұрын

There's no way I could forget about you as a content creator (and as a person in general? You're so chill and you bring me such good vibes) because on tiktok i constantly watch beauty related stuff and it's always SO overwhelming. Like at least 2 times every two weeks I NEED to come on KZfaq and watch your stuff. So take the time to break off when you need it, it's also a part of the body as well, take care of it. Understanding yourself, how you think, your thought process its not different from figuring out your skincare, so it's suuper important. And with your new knowledge you could positively impact your videos even subconsciously i think, so dw it's fine

@amyslowikgrossman835 16 күн бұрын

I'm glad you're back. I imagine that being a video content creator is kind of like being a writer. There's a constant push to come out with the next thing that's authentic and on brand for you.

@cynthiab9077 18 күн бұрын

I’m telling the truth: I just learned about 4 days ago that I was diagnosed with OCD years ago. I had no idea. It’s wild you are talking about it. I’d like to hear whatever you’re comfortable sharing. Welcome back!

@blueflameOK 18 күн бұрын

We all need breaks! So glad you took one. We’ll keep watching regardless.❤ I’ve been helping my son through OCD exposure therapy for a couple years and it’s been tough, but so rewarding. He’s a new kid. Through it I realized I’d been living with OCD as a youth, without vocabulary for what I was going through. Thanks for being open with your experience!

@Miss.Libby. 19 күн бұрын

So good to have you back Alex, and even better to have you open up about how you worked your way through the month of June. Alex, you’re NOT ALONE in what you’re going through. Trust me please when I say that you’re already miles ahead because of how you strive to identify and remedy where you feel weakest. The thing is, it’s REAL to you so it totally makes sense for you to begin the hard journey of working your way through it and learning to understand and accept these things about yourself. It’s important to be KIND to yourself through that journey. You are not alone sweet girl. Sending love from Australia. 🤗🇦🇺

@marcitheriault3883 17 күн бұрын

Hi! I’m happy to have you back! Mental health, therapy-of any kind, is probably the most healthy thing a person can do. I check in too! The make up! I love it! I for one could never 1) do that look, 2) pull that look off! I love makeup too, skill set is a lot, I mean a lot lower than yours. Maybe it’s an age thing.. I’m older, probably could be your mother! I have different issues with my aging skin. But seeing your natural ability to mix and put together these looks is fun to watch. Keep putting out your creative self and always stay true to yourself. Beautiful!

@genie195 18 күн бұрын

“Prison” really struck me-that’s a really powerful word. Having a routine is more often than not really helpful and important! Punishing myself/feeling bad when I don’t finish those tasks is a constant struggle that’s only gotten a little easier with some lowkey anti-anxiety meds and a therapist who ~gets~ me

@ctheo2020 17 күн бұрын

💯 on not self-punishing for breaking "the rules" of self imposed structures. There's a great spiritual phrase that helps me = "Make no rules about what must happen next."

@stp4779 17 күн бұрын

Your video speaks to me in ways I can't explain. My husband suffered from OCD early in our relationship, and therapy and CBT has been a life saver for him. I have a specific OCD problem where I feel like I can't work on a project at home (sew a pillow, make a wreath, etc.) unless the house is completely clean. It does feel like a prison sometimes. Good for you to address it head on!

@GenerationXChick 19 күн бұрын

1. Doesn’t everyone wash their dishes before they put them in the dishwasher?!?! 2. Life is this strange journey. At least that’s been my experience. I started out as a music major and now I’m a data scientist. 3. Anxiety is my middle name - since I was a toddler. I used to keep lots of lists and then…it just stopped about 9 years ago. I have no explanation. 4. Taking time off for me always results in some reset / self-reflection for me. 5. You do you. You owe that to yourself.

@woowoowitchymom 18 күн бұрын

Self care is more than facials and coffee…you’re showing yourself real self care by stepping back and reevaluating things. More power to you. Can’t wait to hear more. ❤

@clareborsari7114 18 күн бұрын

I’m really glad you share your “flaws” because we would never know just looking at your beautiful face and amazing artistic skills. I put “flaws” in quotes because all these traits make you the complex and interesting person we love to watch and listen to. But these traits you feel are troublesome for you, things maybe you want to change…thank you for sharing those with us too.

@ashmora8296 17 күн бұрын

Yes to more rambling 😂 it was much needed. Thank you for sharing your story. And your makeup look is so friggin cool

@solarflower1103 12 күн бұрын

Hi back. 😊Love it when you do the deep shares and talk about real things. The details of your life differ from mine but I do relate to your quest for peace of mind and the courage it sometimes takes to clean out the closet (let alone share it on the internet!). Full respect. I enjoyed watching the makeup while you updated us on your journey. You are serving so many with your message of radical self care, the kind that yields true beauty and transformation. Blessings to you and all who are reading or watching this. ❤💜💙 Great lip colour!

@vanessalosangeles 19 күн бұрын

I’m so happy for this video, thank you for being so real and raw with your emotions… you have no idea how much this helps so many people including myself… btw the makeup looks fierce and the nails match beautifully.

@marissahosmundson7269 17 күн бұрын

I really liked the format of this video, the just vibing watching makeup while you’re just chatting - it was very chill so it would be cool if you want to do more makeup and chats in the future

@spinfan1 19 күн бұрын

Love this makeup look and welcome back. We missed you but glad you took time off.

@starsdestiny 18 күн бұрын

I'm glad you found something out about yourself during this time off. I'm sorry you felt uncomfortable, I've felt that difficulty sitting still and not being "productive". I can relate. Omg, I am having a dull summer. This year I thought I was tired and low on motivation because it was winter and thought it'll get better when it's warmer and brighter. Now it's been summer solstice and yeah I'm still low energy.

@sleepdestroyer27 18 күн бұрын

Welcome back! I hope you're feeling refreshed and less pressured to do and be something, because eff it, it's your channel! Take time when you need it, do you. We like the chats, the makeup, the artistry, the creativity, the looks, and general Alex commentary and there's a wide range that could entail. Fucking love this look, can't wait to try it! I love aqua and violet eyeshadow content esp when it's Alex! Welcome back and hope you keep doing what's right for you❤

@liliznotatnikiem6755 17 күн бұрын

As you talk, it resonates with me as ADHD (aka ADD) person. What exactly? Particularly you talking about first week off and then being overwhelmed with the tasks, looking to complete the list of task but keeping adding new things and as a reaction having this strong coping mechanism with the perfectionistic aspects. These things resonate with me. I had late diagnose so one of the first things I took for me out there was dividing my to do list for Must done and nice to haves, with max 3 things in the first one. And second - journaling 3 pages dailywhere I asked myself what I feel and why I do these things. Anyway, happy you have found time for yourself and AMAZING makeup ❤️

@stephanyalvarez9499 16 күн бұрын

I don’t know if you’ll read this - but sounds like you’re a perfectionist and there’s nothing wrong with that. That’s what makes you an exceptional makeup artist and I’m sure a great painter as well. I’m sure the pressure of social media has a huge impact on self esteem and mental health, but you’ve gotten so much love on here because you’ve been so genuine and it shows how much you love what you do. I resonate with everything you’ve said - even washing the dishes. But i embrace my OCD. I’ve learned to love that about myself because it’s made me thrive in what I love. It’s my normal and it’s made me accomplish more than I could imagine. The internet has a way of making people feel bad about themselves for having a big nose or wearing an orange jacket, or even just cleaning your house. Everything we do has to be labeled or diagnosed because it needs to have an explanation. I’m glad you got some down time to feel out what you need and you’ve realized this is YOUR channel! And we love it.

@m4a46 19 күн бұрын

I rarely comment on videos but I had to comment on this. I can completely relate to the mental space you're talking about - it's like a melange of OCD, perfectionism, anxiety and more. You start out with good intentions and slowly but surely there's a pressure to do ALL the things. It's all good info to take in. You gave yourself time and space and your body communicated some stuff to you that you get to look at if you choose. Thanks for being real, it's refreshing. And you'll never lose your followers 💙

@freddst 10 күн бұрын

Thank you for opening up and for letting us into your world more, we love your content. You’re amazing and we celebrate your growth, success and working on your mental health. We are human and we deserve to give ourselves some grace. Always sending you good vibrations!

@marjoriebevan6982 15 күн бұрын

I think you are the most beautiful makeup influencer on KZfaq. Your skin is perfection and your talent with colour is outstanding. It is really good to listen to your story and I am so sorry you have to deal with this "stuff". My husband has OCD and our daughter suffers from OCD and Body dysmorphia so I have an understanding. Do whatever you need to do to look after yourself. Best wishes xxx

@barbiek0715 18 күн бұрын

I love you Alex!!! So glad you took this time off (as I commented in the last video you filmed). I truly relate to the feeling of needing to feel comfortable in your clothing before you are able to leave the house or do the thing.

@user-fy5ni4wf3m 18 күн бұрын

You are truly the best,so genuine. A beauty. And I love these narrative videos where you talk outside of the video itself. I enjoy listening to your learnings and reflections. And the make up, amazing as usual. Don’t change dude!

@Miss_Annlaug 15 күн бұрын

It’s always fun when people on social media go “I’m back!”, or apologize for being gone and I feel slight guilt because I’m like “you what? Sorry didn’t notice you where gone”❤I always jump around in peoples videos: old and new so I don’t really notice breaks❤❤❤I hope that helps

@charlottehubbard2365 16 күн бұрын

New to your channel, and LOVE this aqua style makeup thats reminding me of old school pop art, and also thankyou for opening up about your therapy & whats going on for you. That honesty and realness has really helped me connect with you as an artist & human being 'virtually'. xo

@JenJenCoco 19 күн бұрын

I just love you. I’m glad you’re back. Randomly found your video one day and i think i have binged almost all of them until i saw this one. You’re awesome and I’m just glad i found ya. Vulnerable chats are always good. ❤

@lydiatheglimmermaid 16 күн бұрын

Yeah I think the beginning of working on certain things in therapy can be the most uncomfortable part. I love that you shared this. It makes me so happy for society that we can talk about mental health stuff now. It makes me hopeful for the world.

@renayramsey6154 19 күн бұрын

Alex, SO GREAT to see you back! I understand about the time off not going as planned, but it sounds like it was positive in that you got to know yourself more and are making healthy changes. Baby steps! Just in case you haven't heard this lately (and I don't have time to check the other 315 comments!) you are beautiful inside and out! Thanks for taking the time to check in with us and the update! Looking forward to seeing you more in July! 😍

@juliesisemore7594 19 күн бұрын

Thank you for being very real and vulnerable. I also have a stupid anxiety brain. I’m much older than you are, and although I have figured some things out, I am still learning. One thing I have learned is that the need to control, perfect, organize, while not bad things by themselves are definitely signs of an anxious mind. Glad you took some time off to take care of yourself.

@karlaharvey2623 18 күн бұрын

Hi precious Alex. So good to see you and Kuddos to you for speaking out a bit about Self Reflection. I am much older than you and oh my word, OCD ! My father was the worst, but guess what, I too was so bad and yet would deny it until later on in life. My daughter has it as well. 😢 thank you for opening up a little bit about it as OCD just isn’t talked about much at all. I am so glad you took a month off for YOU! And did what Alex wanted and needed to do to refresh self? You sweetie would never be forgotten. And I’m sure thousands among thousands watched and continue to watch your (this) comeback video. Love love your makeup look. You’re gorgeous inside out. Please, take care of self ok. We all love you

@elaine901 18 күн бұрын

🩵🩵 I also have ADHD and OCD and it’s a difficult combo. Something that an appropriate clinician would be able to properly determine for you would be if it’s something like OCD (facilitated by intrusive thoughts), OCPD (perfectionism), or generalised anxiety, a mixture, or something else! Sending love and strength to you Alex. 💖 So glad that you took time off to reflect on your wellbeing! I felt I was able to connect with this video, so you’ve reached at least one person. ✨ I have also done exposure response prevention (ERP) therapy for OCD and it is TERRIFYING. As someone who is about six months into treatment I am honestly amazed at how much of a difference it’s made to my life. 💖

@kblive1414 19 күн бұрын

Hi Alexandra, I’m happy to hear you express the desire to change. Strongly relate to the obsessive thinking patterns. I was in an acupuncture appointment and still have racing thoughts and thoughts pop in like it’s a marathon. I don’t know what to try and have been in therapy for awhile. I also believe the obsessive mind can contribute to the delicate artistic gifts since it’s high tuned for esthetics.

@randi_bee 17 күн бұрын

As i get older my ocd gets worse/changes/manifests in different ways. Thank you for sharing what's going on with you, i relate to so much of this - even if I'm not making videos i do have my things that are non negotiables and it's draining to not ever be able to turn it off - the fear etc of just not completing the tasks and then the anxiety and ruminating obsessive thoughts that don't stop after bc if it. It's been wild having kids and seeing it in them and now realizing I've been dealing with this since very very little. I hope that your treatment is helpful and would absolutely love to hear more about what you're doing in therapy for the ocd. Always here for these types of convos. Makeup looks gorgeous as always ✨🫶🏼 Sending you all my love Alex ❤️

@codisilsby3327 18 күн бұрын

Thank you for sharing about yourself. You don't owe it to us but it helps people feel less alone. I'm glad you're doing things to improve your health and life. Always love your content 😊

@paint-everything-dont-panic 19 күн бұрын

Settling in to the vibe and playing some Skyrim while sick in bed. Always appreciate the realness on this channel and doubly appreciate your openness about mental health. Queen shit I’m surprised how much I relate to what you’ve described, especially feeling like you’re boxing yourself in with rules or need to figure out how to make things “perfect.” Therapy and reflection in-progress, I’ve found for myself most of this stems from anxiety, which my brain seems to automatically try to “solve” by doing things/planning the future/etc. I’m trying to take more time these days to acknowledge the feeling of discomfort when it arises and just kind of be like, “this is me feeling anxiety. It’s uncomfortable and i don’t like it, but here I am feeling it and still ok.” I don’t know, just trying to un-vilify discomfort ya know? Thanks for the community, the honesty, and the inspiration! I’ll be taking leave from my corporate line of work soon to focus on my artwork as a career/guiding practice and I’m pretty stoked.

@FourJaysFour 18 күн бұрын

Alex, I just was suggested you in the Panning subreddit. We were sharing creators who we felt weren't about consumerism. Appreciate you more than you'll ever know. You helped me to accept my dark circles!

@HeronAndrewHarpist 19 күн бұрын

I had to take about a month off from my harp music due to my health, and I know exactly what you're talking about. It can be so difficult for creative people to just take a minute and focus on rest. Worth it though!

@user-bj8qu3yk9m 18 күн бұрын

Yes, the the outfit thing is so relatable! I'm so glad that you shared that because it's nice to know that I'm not alone in that.😩 I absolutely love your make up vids, along with the vids where you chat about life. :)

@sorpheajustice3644 17 күн бұрын

I appreciate you sharing your private struggles, thank you! I’ve never been diagnosed but, my therapist has implied that I have symptoms of OCD. I know EXACTLY what you mean… I’ve always: created imaginary timelines (a prison, as you said) for myself, needed things to be just right in my eyes (yes, never possible… some things worsened w/ motherhood, and impossible w/ raising a child but, some things I had to work hard to suppress/overcome!), over-analyzed everything to the point I can’t enjoy other things I’m actively doing (ie: my brain will randomly start thinking of things I MUST complete asap; in hindsight + therapy = those things were not significant or important in retrospect), had an overwhelming need for perfection (tasks, projects, cleanliness, etc), and so many more things I can’t possibly list them all. Ive always thought I was the only person that experiences those specific types of OCD-like symptoms! My family/friends have always teased me for having OCD. Since I have never been diagnosed, I must have a much milder form of it. I do feel the need to wash dishes before placing in dishwasher BUT, I am able to force myself to not do it IF I just can’t b/c I’m “extremely” late for work, my son really needs me, or if I’m really ill. Please, I know that I would truly appreciate it if you were to share your story!! So glad you’re back… You’re amongst the Ō.G.-YT-ers yourself, in my opinion! I’ve been a fan for a looooong time… guess that makes me an O.G.-fan!?? You’re just as amazing as Chrisspy, and the rest… don’t forget that!!!

@annagracegeddes775 16 күн бұрын

Alex, I would love to hear you talk more about your treatment for ocd. I have some similar problems and I’ve found it very hard to fully explain to past therapists, I feel like other ‘practical’ problems in my life take center stage. In a lot of ways I’ve learned to adjust my lifestyle to not trigger myself to feel uncomfortable, but it’s still there, and as I’m getting older I’ve realized how some of those adjustments hinder my life in other ways

@sandyw8643 19 күн бұрын

I so appreciate your honesty and authenticity. I wish you peace and happy for you that you took time off for yourself. BTW, you have the prettiest, glowing complexion.

@alexiscalabria1920 17 күн бұрын

Hey Alex! Long time (silent) viewer here, and I just want to say thank you so much for sharing this and putting into perspective how a lot of us feel, but can’t quite articulate. I hope you know that you are truly appreciated for what you do and who you are, and for sharing your creations as well as your vulnerabilities. Absolutely 100% one of those people on here who can relate immensely to what you’re feeling and have felt. So much more can be said, but just know we’ll always be around, and we are so very happy that you were able to take some time to reflect. Thank you for being you. YOU’RE DOPE.

@tkaneen3 19 күн бұрын

This is such a liberating video because it's so relatable! Love your videos even if it's a month in between. Thank you for being vulnerable and open...it made my day😊

@clairelaffan7670 18 күн бұрын

I'm glad you took a break! Thanks for sharing your experience with anxiety! As someone with OCD, I can say that starting treatment can definitely be scary, but it changed my life and completely altered my relationship with it. I hope it is helpful for you and I wish you the best of luck!

@madisonv9348 18 күн бұрын

I’m so so glad you got to take the time to recognize your patterns and start prioritizing your mental health, I know this can be a very vulnerable thing to talk about especially on the internet but I’m proud of you ❤️ I’m not OCD myself but I am neurodivergent and have had my own mental health/therapy journey in the last couple of years for depression. The CBT really did help and I ended up finding an amazing therapist as well as medication. It can feel like an uphill battle and there will definitely be frustrating, sad days where you’ll question if it’s worth it, but it absolutely is, and I’ll be rooting for you from my own little internet corner lol Glad to have you back!