Sharing your story hopefully took the edge off. It’s an addiction like any other. Read through the comments and you will quickly see how you truly aren’t alone in this suffering. For me I had to do a hard Reset. I took a couple months and did nothing but meditate. I wouldn’t allow myself to get anxious. I had gotten so bad that even the gym would cause a panic attack. Getting my sleep under control was crucial to my battle. It took time and allot of effort. I used so many affirmations. Some physical some were mantras I would repeat. It was hard, only I had to get better. There wasn’t an option for me to remain in the cycle. Try journaling to help identify your cycle of addiction. Read through some of my other comments and you will see other things you could try. You are negative. Tests don’t lie. Medical staff don’t contaminate. Stay off the internet. When I really needed advise I used quora not google searches. The algorithm literally tells you that it’s always the worst. Good luck on your journey towards mental health.

@@joelopez3105 it does feel good to talk about it and not be judged or dismissed as crazy. I’m trying my best to try and find ways to gain control of my mind. I’ve been doing a lot of walking to help clear my head for example. But the main thing that is preventing me from moving on, aside from my intrusive thoughts, is my physician symptoms. And I don’t know if my symptoms are a result of my anxiety or if my anxiety is a result of my symptoms. And this what further drives my thoughts and paranoias.

@@michaelcaballero1937 actually i’ve been going through this after i’ve overruled the last exposure which was with condom i had made a test and thought the dr used a used syringe which is contained hiv i’ve with this for like 40 days last test was rapidtest which i made i bought 2 from different manufacturers one of them became positive with really faint line after 13 mins of putting the buffer and the other one was conclusive negative so i bought another 2 one a different company and the other is the same company that gave me a faint line they came back negative this all was after 30 days from the blood drawn after the blood drawn by 21 days started to feel like my lymphnodes in my neck are enlarged so i kept playing with em till one of them really turned to be seen and it back to normal after 2 days now i’m feeling like my armpit swell and muscles hurts pain in my joint they all come and go and same for sore throat which is kept for half day and then it disappears really afraid to take another test and feeling like i’ll be in this cycle forever ……..

Ji brother how r u feeling now i m going through same situation did you find out ???

Can you share whats your status now?

Can you please tell me what was your exposure?

I’m very sorry about the late response. 4 months late is bad on me. Exhaustion during the peak of my anxiety was common place. It also tied into the depression I was suffering from. I hope by now you have begun to win your battles with anxiety.

Sharing this burden is the key. You sound like your sailing in the same boat I was. It’s hard to share this fear with those that we have confidence in, because it’s detrimental towards our self image. Talking about it online maintains an anonymity. Actually talking to someone makes it feel that much more real and scary. Early on in my struggle I found that discussing this fear with people I cared for and in turn that cared for me gave me the strength to test and the strength to really endure some of my darkest days. You will find once you overcome this your OCD will eventually find something else to latch onto. You may get several months of reprieve, only with building healthy mental habits will you overcome the next wave. My father was my confidant. I was completely honest with him. After that I shared my fears with everyone I could. Talking about it gave me the ability to move forward. Hence this page. Knowing you aren’t alone in your struggle was huge. It doesn’t mean you should be cautious as to who you allow into your life. Unfortunately there are people living with this fear that are so far gone that they simply don’t want to suffer alone. Spend enough time on KZfaq and you will find the HIV conspiracy pages. I don’t recommend that you go down that path. It did more damage than good. Another thing you can do is get real with yourself about the outcomes. What does it mean to be HIV+. It means that you live a normal life taking a pill a day. You can’t transmit nor will you get sick. No different than diabetes. When you are HIV- , you will remind yourself to have safe sex and get tested annually if you are sexually active. It’s just being healthy. Like brushing your teeth or exercising. Create routines in your life. It was my saving grace. You can also reach out to me in Instagram @enderrevin, when you go get tested. I’ll be sitting on this side of the screen as you wait 20mins for your results if necessary. Good luck on your journey towards mental health.

Same broo can I talk to u please

I do agree that medication can pave the way towards balance. For me, during my initial onset, medication allowed me to get the sleep I needed to start working towards the long term fix. It did have side effects though which also created roadblocks. Recently I have changed some of my internal dialog with a focus on living in my present. Being present in the moments that I’m in. I have found that it helps stop any hyper focusing on the unknown future. I began my battle with anxiety/HIV Phobia back in 2018 and have since made tremendous strides. You are obviously more at risk if you did engage in incentive sex (I read your other comment) and I wish you lived in a world without this stigma and fear. That’s really what this page has become for me. A mechanism to fight again HIV stigma. No one deserves HIV and it’s sad how many people view it as a punishment. Fortunately it’s just a chronic condition now. I also find that most people I speak with on here are also OCD to some extent.

You are completely fine. Sorry about the late response. KZfaq moves comments around on me and I just learned how to sort them. I hope you aren’t carrying this fear with you.

It's almost impossible to get HIV from a female to male. Even if it was unprotected and she had raging HIV. You're good bud.

​@@claudia5809How do you know

And all are negative ?

I will work on making a video in the near future.

@@joelopez3105 please say something about my condition and my fear i shared today with you another my msg please say something what you feel matters

Have you been to the Dr? If not get yourself scheduled. You don’t have HIV. Your tests were negative and the tests don’t lie. The Symptoms you are experiencing aren’t related to HIV. Sounds to me like anxiety. You would have to explain more about what anxiety symptoms you are experiencing.

Did u test

After 14 days 4th generation tests do not change their results. Here in the states tests are considered conclusive after 90 days. HIV doesn’t hide. Stigma in the cause of your fear. HIV is a chronic condition that is treatable by taking one pill a day. Check out U=U. It allows people to live full lives without transmitting the virus. You won’t go crazy. Build some healthy habits and manage your stress. Fear will become an addiction if you don’t get ahead of this.

Thanks ❤️

I had an exposure on 26th Dec 2023 got ill with sore throat on 28th Dec,treated causally with sore throat issue ,it persisted ,googled ,sore throat came with hiv symptom got panicked tested at 3 weeks got negative results,many symptoms started to come rashes,gum swelling,needle pinching ,mouth ulcers and all,someone told 3 weeks to early to test,again tested after 6 weeks came negative ,and again multiple rash coming dermatitis ,and now got shingles after 3 months,been to many doctors no conclusive answers,don’t know what to do

@@saadsohail6520 Firstly you didn’t have an exposure unless the person or vector of contact was with someone that is HIV+. You might have had sex with someone whose status you don’t know. Very different than an exposure. Based on the tests you have taken at this point you are negative. Tests after 15 days don’t change. With all these “symptoms” you have you would have tested positive for HIV. HIV doesn’t hide. Symptoms would be a byproduct of your body fighting the virus which would create antibodies, which is what the tests look for. Im sure this message you have just sent me is a watered down version of what this fear is doing to you. Taking the reality of how chronic anxiety affects the body, understand that all these “symptoms” are likely a byproduct of said anxiety. If you are searching things on line, hyper focused on your body, not accepting results, looking for constant confirmation that you are okay or will be okay, you are suffering from health anxiety which! Will screw you up if you don’t get it under control. Practice general hygiene, sleep, eat right, exercise, meditate, stop looking things up on line. Facts: tests don’t lie and HIV doesn’t hide. Good luck on your journey towards mental health.

@@joelopez3105 Thank you for replying ,I am only getting panicked as before 26th December I had no health issues at all,and after that got issues out of nowhere and every 2,3 days I am getting a new symptom,God knows what it is

Provavelmente ynzinbing

How r u now

It could be yinzibing

If you read through comments made on these videos you will see my approach to recovery. Yes it affected me sexually.

@@joelopez3105 i hope you are well right now. i have anxiety for years but no situation could affect me this way. i tested in 19 and 38 days and came back negative. however, google and window period made me insane

@@fratkejrk Searching the internet is something you need to get under control. It’s not healthy for you. Your results will not change. You are negative. 90 days is what’s recommended by the CDC although most countries consider a test conclusive after 15 days.

​@@joelopez3105 its been 8 weeks and I have a sore throat and dry coach for a few days. i am really tired of feeling scared and suspicious. constantly i feel like i have it. i guess i will test one more time. my doctor said me to wait for 6 months but i can't continue my life like that

@@fratkejrk your Dr is wrong on windows to test. You will find in some of my videos that this has happened to me. Remember Drs practice medicine. They don’t know about everything. The NPC I was with literally googled what to tell me and found an old website. I won’t get into search algorithms. Let’s just say internet searches are click bait. Your symptoms can be that you are just sick. You have tested and you are negative.

Deja Bolt You are negative. There are pre existing conditions that would cause the virus to present as late as 3 months. The tests are extremely sensitive. Most countries state that a test is conclusive after 15 days. Obviously the US is very conservative with window periods due to liability. Your tests is conclusive. If you are sexually active, taking a test during your annual physical is a healthy thing to do. If you found my video I’m making the assumption that you are dealing with anxiety and fear regarding HIV. Read through some other comments left on my videos and you will find out you are not alone. It’s a rational fear to have, only it’s extremely rare. Everyone that has reached out to me with these fears has not once come back positive after testing. Good luck on your journey.

Thank you. I tested at 115 days and I’m negative. Still not 100% because of these symptoms. But one day I’ll get there

@@dejabolt4486 Im glad you are making progress. It’s as definitive as the sun rising that you are negative. It’s the healthy habits you will need to create for yourself that is difficult. Don’t be to hard on yourself if each day isn’t brimming with progress. I promise you will get there. As they other “symptoms” present remind yourself it’s okay to not feel well. It’s very natural. Your state of mind drives your day. Allow positive thoughts and be grateful for the gifts you have. As I meditated this morning, I took a moment to give thanks to the air that filled my lungs. What we appreciate doesn’t need to be big. I’m happy you are over the hardest part of this an I applaud your strength. You got this! Good luck on your journey.

@@dejabolt4486hi deja can you share your health and status as of now today ? And symptoms ? I would be helpful to others

Hey Dejabolt, did you ever find out what was wrong with you ?

Whats ur status...

I also took pep .. And after 5 month 4th gen test negative .. Its conclusive ??

@@rockyrawat7476 Yes it conclusive....

How are u today

That Dr is wrong. In one of my videos I talk about a health care provider trying to tell me the same thing. Remember they are practicing medicine. I was fortunate enough that by the time the provider gave me this bad info I was already well educated on the topic. When I told the provider the info about testing at a year was wrong they explained they got it from a website. Can you believe that shit. Just some random website and is then telling me this bad info as though it were gospel. I had them pull the website and showed them how outdated the info was. They were very appreciative about the knowledge. Honestly it wasn’t her fault. That’s why there are experts in fields. It’s also why googling symptoms is the worst thing you can do. The algorithm is designed in a way to show click bate. Hence the worst scenario possible. Internet searching is dangerous regarding illnesses. I learned over time how to search things. You will even find videos on KZfaq on HIV conspiracies. Trust me stay away from all those rabbit holes. I took those paths at the onset of my mental collapse and they were devastating and total bull shit. You couldn’t be more negative.

@@joelopez3105 insane man, he screwed my mind when he said that and my mind created a whole new world with me already living with HIV He really freaked me out It’s been 9 months since and I still test every month because I can’t get my fears controlled 🤦‍♂️

@@cjd.465 how are you doing ??

@@benjaminvallejo6420 how r u bro

​​@@joelopez3105m glad you've spoken about this,it seems there are so many uneducated people who find it so easy to sit behind a keyboard and type some scary stuff they know nothing about.I simply say,in this time and age anyone tells you about a 6 months test is someone you should not waste a second of your precious life listening to.

Sergio Luciano if you have read some of my previous responses to others you understand that at 3 months you are negative 10000%. You may actually be suffering from a mental health issue. The good news is that there is something you can do about it. It takes work and commitment to finding a path forward that allows you to be happy. The HIV scare is over and you need to decided what a healthy future is for you. Start by getting back to basics. Find a counselor that works for you. It may not happen your first time. Next, get into a healthy regiment of sleep, meditation, and positive activities. Drinking and late nights are the true enemy towards growth. You are accomplishing nothing productive after 1030 pm. Sorry I don’t give out my number, but realize you are not alone in this suffering. I survived and so can you. Good luck on your journey towards mental health.

Diego Davila Sure you can

Diego Davila azlantern@gmail.com

Joe Lopez thanks 🙏🏾

You recognize that your thoughts and feelings are irrational. That’s a good thing. Many of us experience this which means you are at a point to pull it all back together. There is allot I can share only in this medium without instantaneous responses, I find to be less affective. You can message me me on Instagram at EnderRevin. Regarding your situation there is a root cause of your current condition and it’s not HIV. I can help you figure that out with time. I also recommend seeking counseling and developing healthy routines. This path you are on can become extremely self destructive with lasting affects. I’m glad you are seeking help. Knowing where to find it is also difficult. Good luck on your journey. Hope to hear from you.

@@joelopez3105 Thank you so much, I'm honestly relived to have gotten a reply from you. I texted you on Instagram

I think you have OCD i had that exclatly issue

Are you ok… I gave a dude head tell me why I have a ulcer in my mouth a day later I’m scared and get tested in two days 😢

Krista Scheibel Your tests are conclusive. At 90 days it is conclusive. Look up what that word “conclusive” means. I had taken a screen shot of the definition and I would look at it when my anxiety started to surface. HIV doesn’t hide in your body. As I read your message I hear a couple things going on. I’m sure your message only conveys a fraction of the overwhelming anguish and despair you feel. Regarding your lymph node. As you prod it, causes it to rise. Anxiety will cause physical symptoms. As I learned to manage my anxiety, my body got better. I’m so glad to hear you are talking to a counselor. I was medicated for a short time during the onset of my anxiety. I needed it as I wasn’t sleeping at night. Once I learned the tools to manage my anxiety I worked myself off the medication. I hope as you overcome this situation you can once again being to enjoy your sexuality. Life is to short to be afflicted by fear. You will beat this as you are on the right path. Check out some of my other videos. I hope they help. Good luck on your journey towards mental health.

Joe Lopez okay thank you. i just have been freaking myself out thinking it could still show up and like with my lymph nodes can they really be risen from stress? did you have them at all? thank you for taking the time to reply to me. I was going to test again once it hit august.

Krista Scheibel Stress can cause it. No need to test again. Although having a healthy sex life means you should get tested every year during your physical.

Bro whats your status

Do Pranayam (Yogic breathing technique)...Rest all will be taken care of...Also Hath Yoga...

I’m doing well. I still suffer from health anxiety only I manage those symptoms with meditation. I have built healthy routines. If I don’t manage myself I can slip back into my anxiety.

@@joelopez3105 good to hear man I have a hiv scared too

@joe lopez

He’s negative I recently spoke to him. If you haven’t already seek a mental health counselor about this and see them regularly, work on good habits and stay busy doing healthy activities, identify your triggers, identify the negative thought loop that is going on your mind. These things have helped me a lot with my HIV anxiety. I’m not completely out of the woods yet but I have been doing better by doing all these things.

abishek Pattu If your concerns are such that you would not like them to be posted publicly you can always email me.

@@joelopez3105 email id plz!

abishek Pattu azlantern@gmail.com

I’m good. I did stop making videos. Everything else I could say has been shared in the comments as I answer questions.

I hadn’t heard this term before. I looked it up and it’s interesting how it happened on such a large scale in China. For those that come across this comment it’s referring to fatigue and stress that cause the symptoms NOT HIV.

@@joelopez3105 it is hard to get information about yinzibing. Bcz they used firewall to down all the information related to yinzibing . But it is real. It has affected lakhs of people .the point is why isn't this disease catching the eye of media . Bcz people feel shame in facing media as this is considered to be sexually transmitted disease . Its mostly effects men and less women's . Brazil china India Russia are most effected countries. But no test can detect it as it is a lab made virus . It has obvious physical symptoms like white tongue , facial fat loss, abdominal fat gain. Still it is called aids phobia by Chinese howere 2019 study by China says it is not completely mental disease. It is a huge coverup disease.

There is without a doubt no need to retest. Spit in the eye is not an exposure. If you have tested negative at 100 days your a conclusively Negative. Good luck on your journey towards mental health.

@@joelopez3105 Thanks my brother God bless you and your family and protect you from any bad thing You gived an answer in just 4 minutes Thanks a lot Its just fears me when i search at internet They say there might be a little chance if his mouth bleeding and then spot in my eyes ... You know a very bad thing about hiv phobia is three major people reaction: First those who know you're free but you're crazy and not normal Second group that think bad about you I live in slamic country that its taboo having unofficial sexual relationship if you aren't married Whic i never had anything like it , i didn't touch any body , i am not a intervenes drug user or... I am just a med lab students that got needle stick and they don't believe even my coworker who saw the needle stick 😐 And third those say there is no harm at retesting , they assume its a blood sugar level test that has no mental pressure Again thanks a lot ❤️

@@parsa4711 Thank you for sharing your story. I always try to respond as soon as possible as I’m fully aware of how powerfully scary these feelings can be. You are right on those three accounts as to how people view those with HIV Phobia. I might add that people like us probably have a propensity to worry about things. The stigma behind HIV is what I’m truly trying to combat now. HIV is considered a chronic condition these days. It doesn’t stop anyone that is being treated from having a happy and healthy life. Cultural norms also paint people with HIV as dirty, when in reality it can happen to anyone. I’m so sorry you are experiencing this. Please stop searching the internet. Nothing good ever comes of searching symptoms.

@@joelopez3105 totally . Of course Sorry dear friend My English is not very good I scared if you got my fist question wrong I meant first i got a needle stick and negative for that after 100 day But this spiiting is after that incident So if its that ? It doesn't need retesting for the second time (spiiting)

​@@parsa4711how are u dear

Hlo bro same here we can share our problems 😢

@@ArchitecturaldesignprocessSame here brother but my exposure is abit different I am freaking out

@@AnonyMous-u4e have you get test I test in 40,50, and 70days for rapid finger neg but my doctor said I should test after 90days and tommorow is 95days finally I go get my final test tommorow so pray for me bro 😢🙏

@@Architecturaldesignprocesshow was your results ?

@@badbou3636 mine after 93days 3rd gen still neg hope you are 🙏