@@gustav_a.mozumder2011 every narcissist's victim have an extreme hatred towards narcissistic people. everyone. I hate narcissists. they have destroyed my life several times. so yes. definitely true.... and no, we don't need to understand you. we just need to accept that your behavior says who you are. period. no excuses, no understanding, no negotiation.

​​@@gustav_a.mozumder2011It is interesting how narcissistic people, want us to excuse their behavior. When even God won't. And everyone else has the right to their Basic Survival Instinct, to get far away from self serving Narcissists.

@@gustav_a.mozumder2011 This 🩸is how 🩸you 🩸treat 🩸your 🩸white slaves🩸 AND NOTICED THAT HE ONLY CHOSE WHITE PEOPLE. JESUS IS WHITE WHO’S GOD IN THE FLESH AND NONE OF US ARE NARCISSIST. YOU COULD ALWAYS COME AND TALK TO US. THIS IS JUST ANOTHER HATE CRIME AGAINST WHITE PEOPLE THAT’S ALL IT IS AND THAT’S ALL IT WILL EVER BE THAT YOU THINK YOUR GOD OF THE EARTH, AND THAT YOU JUDGED MY WHITE FAMILY AND YOU ABSENTED US TO DEATH WHEN WHAT YOU DON’T KNOW IS WHITE PEOPLE WERE YOUR SLAVES AND EVERY SINGLE NATION AND HITLER’S HOUSES IN MEXICO IN THE TOP 10 DICTATORS WERE ALL MINORITIES.

@@gustav_a.mozumder2011 this guy hates my white family and hates Jesus and hates God and blames white people for all of his problems. You’re looking at a narcissist this guy is a narcissist, as if minorities never get mad and they’re all nice and all wonderful and all peaceful.

@@dianemoril7612so true they destroyed my life too.

And their teeth start rotting even more bc they never went to the dentist anyways 🦷 🪥

true that.. my late father's health deteriorated after I left the country.. he died within 3 years. I was one of his major supplies.

My mother too .l slowly withdrew my presence over two years.Two weeks before she passed on l found myself my soul detaching from a message she sent me, l just read it and felt nothing.Two weeks she was gone with stroke

So true.

But between the lines there is hope?

Spot on! Spot on.

That’s exactly what my narcissistic FIL did!! He spent the last few months of his life on sick bed polishing his obituary, basically tooting his own trumpet. He also left me out of the obituary and left nothing for my husband in his will coz he wouldn’t listen to him to divorce me.

Most all of these N are those who end up with Dementia.

@@lees7340 Jeeze...

Street angel house devil yeah its a thing..😢

Right, don't listen to them!

Good for you. Stay strong, and continue to protect yourself.

I like that you added "and safe" at the end of your comment! That's what matters most, don't let anyone jeopardize that!

Very wise.

Thank goodness, more sisters n bros safe. Nice..next one pls♡♡

Same with my ex except he hasn't died yet.

Something how they can hoodwink everyone.

Yes, because the show must go on to keep building that positive image of the beast....deception of the devil

Pray for your peace.

Sounds exactly like my narc relative carolniemann. Her "supply" will keep falling at her feet, buy her "act" & take all the money she heaps on them (+ the hopes of getting her estate) she keeps them around with. She had repeatedly pushed my hubby & I out of her life for several years, so we finally said "enough" last Summer & we decided she can have & use her flying monkeys as her "family." We weren't dysfunctional or phoney, & she couldn't manipulate us like she does her "supply," so she just couldn't stand us. We pray for her & we stay "discarded" ... living a life of sanity, peace, joy, & health.

About 15 years before she died, my mother had an outpatient lumpectomy. In the recovery room afterwards, one of the nurses asked me and my brother who we were - she said she thought we were the mother's social workers.

My condolences for your loss -- of the childhood and parenting you deserved.

I hope you can find forgiveness in your heart for her and what she did. The bible says if we don't forgive those who sinned against us than neither will God forgive us of our sins. Matthew 6:15 it's a tough realization, but we all don't deserve forgiveness, instead we deserve the wrath and judgement of God. The Lord is so merciful to make a way for us to have eternal life through the shed blood of Jesus.

I've had this experience a few times with family narcs and each of them were mean hateful to me only because I was the only one who stood up to them and would tell them they would regret it one day for their behavior. When each one got their diagnosis over the past 20 yrs they each remembered what I said and all were cruel and mean to me in their final days. One even started a smear campaign against me with their last breath. It hurt me because at that time I didn't know anything about Narcissist, but I did know something very evil and abnormal was going on with each of them. Seeing these videos I now have confirmation of what was going on with them. I feel vindicated.

F that doctor, anyway. Glad your brother told him the truth. Glad you are at peace.

That'll be a brief meeting! 😅 before being sent to their permanent deployment

deranged is why. evil influences due to their negative actions and thoughts attracting them. God is the healer.

I don’t think they believe there is an afterlife, even when they act religious. That’s why they’re so awful at the end. All they see is the empty black heartiness of themselves

True Leaches/Vampires, too bad...

Maker? No they only will see their master! 🤣

Grieve for the family that did not love you, but go on to make your own - whether it be finding a parent figure or getting a patent in law. You’d be surprised how it may come to be that the ‘parent love’, even a little, they give you is more than you got growing up and you eventually realize that turns out to be far better than what you never got/what you got growing up. That is a wonderful feeling. I had to live with my FIL for about 8 months last year. While my husband was overseas with our youngest child. The love, respect, treatment I got from that man in 8 months - even with his various quirks and requests (we all have them), was far more than what I got in my 52 years from my DNA father. My husband is a real loving dad to our kids and watching him be that has helped me learn how a real father treats his kids and me heal. My FIL filled in the gaps. I will forever be grateful. ❤️ My dear mum passed 2 years ago. I miss her so much. I saw an old school friend and met her Mum again after decades. I never really knew her Mum but sat and talked with her. She gave me a real Mum hug that reminded me of how my Mum gave me a hug. That gesture made me so happy. Her Mum was so kind to me. Such simple kindness goes a long way. Such kindness feared and abused by narcs, that once you are away from narcs you can learn to fully appreciate the beauty in things and people.

Sin of omission not commission. Vocabulary- the shortcut to essays.

indeed@@ZLLi661

@diannetimpson6885: the enabler worse than the narc! Exactly why I feel this poisonous disgust for Joe Biden, chatting up genocidal Bibi every night. What a dark sick pair.

It's a version of the bully on the playground. The bully picks one to bully and the other kids join in being grateful that it's not directed towards them and the bully likes them. However it's just a matter of time before he turns on one of them once his scapegoat removes themselves from the situation.

You have given me a lot more peace about not visiting my elderly and dementia ridden mother. Sometimes it's so hard to deal with the pain of knowing that I never had a mother who truly loved me.

Hope you cremated her and no memorial.

I have an evil narc mother and I believe narcs are possessed by a demon/evil spirt that takes over their body and soul and that's why they're so evil all the time . Demons don't care about people's feelings and wants to destroy everyone. When they pass away they're going home to hell .

Please do not feel guilty. If someone wants a grandiose funeral, they need to leave funds to pay for it. So glad your lives are improving and you are free from this terrible situation.

Thank you for your story. It brought me peace. Hang in there and Heal On!

OUCH!!! 😂😂😂😂😂😂

Right 😂

suehail: haha Not cruel. Realistic without malice 😄

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I know right? It's like being evil keeps them alive longer. Can't wait for my narcissistic parents to die, they fucked me up mentally.

That's rough. My Father's last words to my Mother was: "I'm sorry. Thank you very much". He was not a narcissist and was always polite. I can't imagine what you've had to do to recover from a lifetime of abuse.

Jenny, sending my love. Believe me, I know my dear, I know ... She's gone now and gradually you'll release the shackles. You did nothing at all to deserve this. You were a wonderful daughter! Shame on this evil being for treating you like this. Hoping you find freedom and peace. ❤️

You felt guilty about that? Please help me to understand how that comment worked on you.

OMG!!!! I think the stories keep on topping the other! This tops anything I have heard before! I am sorry for you and please feel my healing vibrations!

No emotional reaction for her to get supply from. Very typical for a Narc.

😂

Seems typical behaviour that. They expect a specific reaction from you and if they don't get it they turn on you. It's weird but just shows them up for the fakeness they are. Especially when they act out exactly how you're supposed to respond to them when they're ill, hurt or dying.

LMAO! But I know, just as many of us do, exactly how you felt/feel.

@@caveman85635 Ha, and thank you!

I can imagine how hard this must be, but thank you for sharing.

Evil ppl

Your comment is on point. I firmly believe that narcs surround themselves with good people so that the narc may suck the life out of them. These people are like blood-sucking monsters - almost like the stories we see in movies where an old person remains young for ever by draining the energy out of young people. Speaking for myself, narc mother would look a tired, old person when alone. The minute she would be in the company of someone nice and youthful, she would look dramatically different. Narcs are perfectly capable of putting an empath in an asylum or an early grave, while living on healthily for a long time with countless supply.

@@simonpegg1196 Yes, I can very well imagine the change! The vampire and similar stories surely have their basis on real life....many old narcs live almost forever....up to 100 yo. They even tell on themelves sometimes ...it's in their own words. This reminds me on something else that my narc mother said to my father when she was in a hospital and I was NC...she said I should come and see her and that she would not even look at me. These words sent shivers down my spine.

@@lejci38 you are exactly right. Narcs live forever. They are very regimented. And because they don't have empathy they can't feel stress.. It's totally a fitness advantage evolutionary speaking! We are owned by Narcs and they get to live longer than us! The good die young because the evil live forever!

I wonder if straight speaking isn't the best thing you can do in this kind of situation? She will hate it, but once you have stated your position very clearly you can at least refer back to it when you need to. This isn't to make things better for her, it's to make things better for you, as well as more sensible. "I don't take orders from anyone but myself -- but if you tell me what you want I will try to help you out as far as I can, and I'll tell you what I can't do." And "You must do what I want always" -- actually, mom, that would be insane. I will do whatever I think is best in the situation. Always.

I find it so hard to understand how someone can be so totally selfish and evil. I have only had one narcissist in my life - my paternal grandmother. She was hypersensitive, demanding and obnoxious and my father barely survived growing up in her home. But when she was on her death bed, she was senile, and just the most gentle person. It was like the hardness and wickedness just left her. So I got to say goodbye on the best of terms. I am someone who is gentle, unassuming and happy and I always just assumed everyone was like that. Listening to Danish is like reading a horror story. I can't believe it's real sometimes.

Incredible

Woooooowwww!!! 😮😮😮😮 now you have me thinking are they demons on earth because that’s a deep deep dark vessel.

I am seeing my grandmother turning into something like that. I really need to talk to somebody about that because I am so scared and don't want to go there anymore.

Dementia is a spiritual disease.

Just thinking about the whole toxic existence of a narc is nauseating. How can someone live like that

I am taking care of my father & have been for several years now. He now has Dementia & I bear the brunt of everything. I can never do anything right and all his nastiness is saved for me. My brother, the Golden Child & namesake son, only calls for $ and to berate me. He hasn't even seen my Father in 11 years! The daytime caregivers always say he's so sweet & nice, but once they are gone, I am his target. We have an occasional good day, but I am afraid of what the future will hold for me as he progresses. 😔

I loved a man who I believe is a narcissist. One thing that helped me was realizing that if he got alz, he would be even worse to me. I had to have him TELL me to move out because I was so depressed and raw that I could not stand up for myself. I am healing now. I am GLAD that he didn't love me! If he had loved me, I would have been stuck and he would have destroyed me.

​@@tanacollier3267 😢 Oooof sorry.. I've been talking care of mine for 5 ½ years & remodeling/restoring /renovating his house.. Pure torchure, ungrateful & just ugggh!! Urinates in cups, Urinates in trash cans so I get to see the 🥒, won't clean up, doesn't like to bathe or go... outside.. Has injured himself because of pride, ego & by being hell bent on being in control & fighting against my recommendations... .... Because I said so or suggested it .. 😒

Narcissists are pure evil 😈. A danger. They are not mentally ill.

Absolutely this could apply to anyone N abusive pitfall. Family Co worker friend neighbor anyone just RUN it's not easy ppl can think what they want what they believe UNTIL THEY HAVE LIVED WALKED IN YOUR SKIN THEY HAVE NO IDEA ABOUT YOUR TRUTH YOUR TRUTH MATTERS😮

Yep, from the cradle to the grave they’re evil arse holes.

they fear death, because they can't control that. and they know what's coming.

The only place of eternal rest for a narcissist is the deepest darkest depths of hell, imo!

Either way, it fuels them. Good call.

You made the right choice. I didn’t know what a narc was till 6 months after my narc mother passed. I had gone no contact when I was 22. I was the truth teller black sheep. I didn’t know it was *no contact”. I severed for my wellbeing. I had attempted one last time to get her answers why and told her if she wouldn’t discuss, she wasn’t my mother. She dismissed denied mocked and demeaned very quickly. I said, we are done. You are not and never have been my mother. Apparently my siblings knew she was dying for months. One finally called days before she passed. I felt nothing. She w as already dead to me. Except, I felt more relief as time went by. It was good to know she expired. Good to not have. This dead mother breathing out there. Gone. Poof. Finally done altogether. I had wondered if there would be upheaval. Did so much healing before she died. It just felt like a present. I shed only a couple seconds of tears a few times, but those tears were for me and happy tears I spared mysel all these years. I’ve learned a Lot about narcs these few years since she passed, including how it programmed my nervous stem response to be sucked in by the many narcs in my life. Had no idea why I had men I loved so much end in cruelty. Spent most of my adult life single, because I’d isolate myself, not trusting myself to choose right. I didn’t know I was being manipulated and conditioned. So the narc mother set me up for narcs and isolation, never married and no children. 60 now. Now, I can choose, because I could never be fooled by one of these scumbags from hell again. A massive benefit to my mother dying and finding out about narcs is I can understand from a spouse of narc just how deep my father’s pain was from her. He stayed with her for us children. I saw the pain, though he sure wasn’t a coward or enabler as some commenters say. My life would have been beyond repair if my father hadn’t stayed for the children. I left at 16. My father did leave when the children all grown. He didn’t divorce. He got a house and refurbished real estate. He was the happiest I ever saw him. There was peace, feeling good about himself and happy, though he was lonely, because he was 65 when he left 9my father 25 years older than the narc wife). If someone hasn’t gone no contact, do. I had the secret when I did. You must resolve to not need answer or anything from the narc. It’s not there. You give yourself closure, validation, love, e tc. If you need the narc anything, then you’ll still be enmeshed. This is how you sever mentally, besides working on yourself. And, you will have so much more to work with than I did. You have great teachers and docs on KZfaq. To understand what these narcs r made of, how they think, all they did to you was not personal. It was ALL about the, their selfish and twisted needs, their cruel and cold heart. They needed to steal and murder your heart to give life to their dead heart. They hate compassion pure heart lover of life etc. that provokes them to beat it out by deception. You never knew the narc. They can’t be truthful. God bless everyone unfortunate to be target of a narc. Don’t iso;ate yourself as I did. You can learn to recognize them and respond healthy and conscious to toxicity, abuse, and manipulation by others, and cut it offf. So many good therapy channels too. You deserve love, marriage, and a best friend to grow old with. And you are perfect for the one you find perfect for you. Never settle for less than someone adding to your happiness and which appreciates you adding to theirs.

@TraciDoering-hw8hu This particular item is about my alas still living ex, although I pretty much severed my ties with my mother not too long ago. She is 83, and we are "in contact" via very rare and completely neutral texts. 1 or 2 times a month. She’s probably not a narc - severe cPTSD and 60 years of abuse by my father, who also had severe cPTSD but showed a lot of narc tendencies. Doesn’t matter. The behavior is the same. My father impolitely died in the midst of me catching on to my abuser and leaving. My mother was abusive but not intolerable until then, but I think breaking the trauma bond was more than she could take. Let's just say that my loving but difficult mother turned into someone I don't know.

Really appreciate your comment. Thank you 🙏🏽

You might encourage your father to get a good therapist. He is someone that was married to a narc for a long time. I divorced 1.5 years ago after 42 years with a narc. I never told anyone about the abuse until I deep dove in to narc traits, realized what was actually happening, and spent the next 1.5 years in a panic. The healing takes a long time. I was desperate to get out of the marriage. Then I told everyone. Your father probably needs to talk. The primary source of narc abuse is 3 times more likely to committ suicide. Your father might need that suggestion and follow up with him. Men are far less likely to be convienced to go to therapy. Help him make sure the therapist is good.

Amen, and God Bless you and your family

Tmi...

Thanks😊

I'm sure the narcissist wouldn't want you there either 😉

My Dad who was one of the kindest people I’ve known and he died with the greatest of ease.

@@SatanenPerkele Is this in your own experience or are you just theorizing? I've been with dying people.... What was stated is true in all those cases. The only case that differed was a man who was repentant in his final illness.

I do believe life is fair but we may not understand it. If we have things we have not repented for then we will carry the guilt with us.......people do not always repent of their bad actions and only God knows, not you, not me. Peace with God is the answer. so sometimes people fear consequences because they know they are guilty and only God can forgive them. just pray for them if you love them, they will feel your prayers. @@SatanenPerkele

true. peace in your heart means that you know you are able to meet God because you are repentant. those who are not and hang onto their sins, will have a hard time letting go because they have a fear of consequences. your choice to accept this or not. this is why evil doers have a hard time sleeping at night, alone with their thoughts as God will be there waiting for them. @@donnahalsted7718

I have to say, it brings sweet relief… and closure. At least for me.

When my grandmother died, during her funeral I heard someone saying that it was more like a party than a funeral. And truly I did hear laughter like her death didn't affect anyone. I don't really know that grandmother as she was all about herself. I didn't hate her or love her but for someone to say that at her funeral..don't think she'll be miss.

It's just not part of the "I control my life and everyone in it" belief.

My MIL is 79, but she says she is still young. I believe she believes it.

Sorry you had to go through that.

Your better than she will ever be capable of as a human being in this plain and the next if she takes it with her she is trapped with herself In the Web she's weaved. Not long ago I had a similar occurrence my grandmother whom I adored passed away and I was compelled to be in the same room as mine even seeing them out front in their car as I passed made me feel the need to stop off at a pub and I'm not a barfly I couldn't bring myself to be pulled into having interaction with them outside of the service I ignored them and my mother came to put her hands on my shoulders I couldn't even muster words just nods as she said hollow words I think the reminder of her mortality she felt the need to put on some sort of show of feeling she hasn't reached out not even after all the feel good hallmark put on in the presence of family because I think she knows the gig is up that's a strange thing when your narc abuser realizes you've willfully severed them. they like the imagery of the mother but I severely doubt they ever actually feel a connection or a desire to be provide that supportive present parental love it's just one of their many self serving costumes. Id gotren through that day without lowering myself to their level being stoic throughout I told her i was there for my grandmother nothing more nothing outside of it or drama mattered that was my verbal line in the sand. I hope it's some small comfort to know that where you may lack familial dynamics there are many out here who are fighting just like you that your situations isn't an island unto itself. If more people opened up they'd find brothers, sisters, family with open hearts. So many of my family are not kin today but a small circle of confidants build your tribe where fate didn't provide earlier by blood. What I can tell you from personal experience is the children of narcissistic abusers sometimes turn out to have high level empathy and I believe a narcissist others like them fear us because we can see what they conceal we are able to process trauma or help others heal in a way they themselves never can. What helped me was telling myself that my abuser is broken in a way that cannot be addressed nor was it my fault but she's was a human being doing what she could with what she was that I'd save myself grief by not expecting her to ever be normal while she might appear successful in a professional setting or on paper there were crucial areas she as a human being couldn't be all there even if she tried as children we view mother as God as adults they become mortal the way she spoke to you was a reflection of her own shortcomings as a being as much as it may have stung and lingered know that it was hollow the narcissist lives in a space without meaning other than to create emotional responses like misery there may he some internal monolouge saying to withdraw and self censor they are compelled to be hurtful when they feel control slip death can be described as a loss of control with my parent I see only glimpses of their actual identity that aspect seems to be self loathing really damaged but I've always had to question sincerity or if I'll see that person when that closing chapter sort of strips the facade backing them into a metaphysical corner. Possible A narcissist parent may be checked out even to themselves.

Nope. Don't go to her hospice, doctor appointment, or grave.

@@patrickedwards7107 Yeah my mother has been checked out and only Jezebel is left. I got tired of dealing with it.

I went to my grandma’s funeral even though I hadn’t talked to my father in 17 years because she was my grandma. My brother also went. Our father acted as if we were invisible. Thank you for confirming my suspicion that we got off light with that treatment. 😬

I'm sorry you're going thru this. But one key thing to remember is that while they have done harm to themselves and others, they are this way as when they were a child it was exactly how they were treated. This is where forgiveness comes in, for them and you. To always seek to be loving, kind, and compassionate and act with mercy and grace as they truly know not what they do. To be grateful, for knowing the difference is your superpower. That's what we are thankful for, and the power to show them their antics have no affect on us. Always be in control of your emotions and smiling at them helps lol. Even say things like hopefully in your next life, you'll come back in a world of love. Always give a dying person hope because that's who you are. Period.

@@ladydragonrider421 well said and thank you. Forgiveness is key, absolutely. I absolutely forgive all because I love all. My father relies on our forgiveness to proceed with his torture. Time passes and we forgive because that is who we are. I have realized I can forgive without succumbing to the torture. I must forgive the past of torturing myself if I am to love myself. He tortures, just to say, ‘is this torture?’, and for us to reply, ‘yes’, and for him to reply, ‘no it isn’t’. I can only show him what torture is by allowing him the time and space to think about the torture he’s caused. Anything other than that is a denial of his torture and a denial of truth. Truth is forgiveness, so to show him truth is to allow him to forgive himself. Forgiveness is love, so it’s an opportunity for him to love himself.

So true, the closer to death, the worse their behavior towards you. Best to continue no contact.

@@ladydragonrider421 smiling at them will enraged them, and telling them about love will drive them mad. And It’s not possible to simply forgive a narc, there’s layers of buried hurt. Only time will allow the things to surface and then forgive what had happened. I’m speaking from the perspective of a child to parent relationship. Maybe it’s easier to move on from a narc lover. But parental narcs influence the first major years of life and shapes how ones brain is wired. There was many injustices, the best thing to be done isn’t forgiveness, it’s anger, anger fuels one’s drive to get out of a bad deal and separates the enmeshed illusion reality the narc has created, that everything is your fault. Getting angry about your unjustified treatment is the cure. Love isn’t just about softness, love has thorns like the rose, so that narcissist won’t easily be able to step on you. The thorns are veritable boundaries. And a dying narc won’t have hope, they don’t believe in a high power nor afterlife that’s why they do what they do because there’s no punishment for their acts and that there’s only one life to be had. They themselves have to seek god for the first time or first in a long time once they can’t bear themselves anymore. Deprive them of supply, (remember these people don’t believe in love , only in supply) allow them to severe their own connections then the only source available will be God. Best way to save a narc is to leave them.

@@nocomments5029 Its unhealthy for yourself to continue in anger. That emotion is normal in traumatic situations TEMPORARILY. Love is the total answer. And, as you elude, love can be tough as well as soft. It must be. Anger is self destructive..

You used the word relief I felt the same not having to deal with curve balls that were delivered from no where anymore. My sense of empathy and responsibility out of family ties to this person is over.

I know what you mean by that@@mikemcternan8249 and yes you must be a truth-teller too and thus were hated for it.

​@@mikemcternan8249 Thank you for your honesty Mike I'm going through these feelings now and have been feeling guilt over it but now I know it's a normal reaction after years of abuse you can breathe again

@@ang3956 Hi Drays Thanks for responding to my comments/feelings It was a bit like having a boil that after so much pressure that it just burst. I felt that guilt too but also the relief If you been kind and helpful to people and you’ve been abused you’re/we’re now free.

​​@@mikemcternan8249If you stay too long with a narcissist, you might become them; it's perversion and it can kill your empathy and your soul. You did right and we know there's no way to help a narcissist since they have a God-like complex. I also wonder how I would feel when my mother dies but I realize I might die before her; she doesn't have any kind of health issue since she doesn't know what stress or anxiety means. I just hope and pray I don't have to see her again, ever.

We lived very similar lives. My Narc husband died after 28 yrs of marriage and was one of the worst people I've ever known. I tried to love him but he made my life a living hell. When he died, I did feel sad because he was my first boyfriend and I married him at 20, but I felt he robbed me of my youth. I tried so hard to keep hope alive for us but he refused to get help. When he died, I felt guilt for feeling relief. For someone to put you through that kind of abuse is a horrible person. They know exactly what they are doing to you, because it's done in private but in public they show their FAKE self so if I ever said anything negative about him, I would look like the bad one. I feel you. Just know you are not alone. You are free🎉

All your feelings are okay and valid. Please give yourself plenty of time and space to heal, and also seek support from anyone who is consistently supportive! ❤

I'm dealing with the same thing now a dying narcissist. 87 year old male that I tried to get medical care for his abusive behaviors thinking he was just becoming meaner and more hateful with everyone. Could make anyone believe it because he was soooo nice and had no anger issues. Now I just want to find a nursing home for him

I am glad for you that the vile creature is dead, I am waiting on my father to die and I do hope he suffers.

​@@stevenhowe6677 I do not wish mine to suffer but they led me to wish that they do not have a long old age. If it's because of them I'm already dead, those souls are perverse

Damn she said she's glad her mom is dead

​@@dave63rdI'll feel that way about my dad

That is not a mother that's a monster!!!!

It's very sad your husband experienced that and I'm sad for myself that it's very relatable.

Yes i have been through that as well with my poor husband, my father in law was a vile evil man, so very glad he has gone now..

Merry Christmas!!!!!!!!!! ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ you fine have to deal with her EVER AGAIN

❤ "I feel like the idea of having a mother has died years ago." (I agree!) I can relate: The reality of our weak relationship is more apparent now and it's very painful for me to go through this because of certain already standing dynamics in place with my parents. I'm trying hard to be merciful to the merciless and those who have abused me. I'm trying to do the right thing and return their hatred towards me with the love of God when I'm around them. The struggle is real. I'm trying to be the best version of myself. I work through my emotions alone because I can't count on anybody in my family. They're all "too busy". I nurse my feelings privately and suffer alone. In a way it's better, because then I won't have to deal with being minimized and/or invalidated.😢

🙏

My mom is 90 and hateful, too! I've distanced myself since she moved into a ritzy assisted living center. As the scapegoat, there's really no point, and I embarrass her because I'm not rich, like my older golden child sister.

well said.

what is the cause for them growing up that way?

Probably more psychopaths than sociopaths.

Why didn't you take her in?

Of this, you can be certain: People who are present for such ugly performances can see who is the genuine human being and who is not. All Best Wishes to You!

If you get through the healing process you won’t be attracted to narcissists anymore, Don’t give up on finding a decent person. Just do the hard work and then live a beautiful life. You can do it!

Your comment really hit home. Especially "thinks I'm crazy when I show empathy or bring up sentimental memories of the past." and "I have lost all my family but actually now I know, i really never had a family." Thank you for sharing.

You were luckier. My mom said I. Her deathbed “I forgive you” for my stepdad molesting me!

Yes, my mother puts my dead father down constantly. I hear you.

funny how you never read about a narc having an NDE - maybe they have them then go back to their old ways and never mention them LOL.

we call 'em modern day pharisees.

Nooo… Hope you’re all okay now❤️

Yes, they get really jealous if anyone has something nicer or is happier than them. Sorry you had to live with that monster.

Holy shit!

Most healthy people wake up thinking it's a new day what can I do to make it a good day for me and those around me? A narrsistic person wakes up with an attitude of what can I do today to ruin someone's day to make mine better. A narc will use there deathbed as one last leverage to get you near them to put the final knife in your back before they are shipped off to sheol, the obode of the dead, the lake of fire. When a person rejects love at every turn they themselves choose to be in the dark far far away from God's love. It's a choice

OMG I had a similar experience with my Mom, I always thought she had BPD, but malignant Narcissist fits better (unfortunately). In my case, I said something innocent to my Mom that she interpreted as I didn't think she was caring. I tried to explain that I didn't mean anything like that, but she was insulted. Not long after this, maybe a few days later she ordered a pizza to be delivered for the both of us. When it came, I went to pour some soft drink and then she oddly swept the glass out of my hand and said "no, I'll make the drinks". I then ate my pizza (and she hers) and drank my soft drink. A few hours later I started feeling ill, stomach aches turned into stomach cramps. Eventually, it became agonising. Mom played the part of the caring "nurse" and suggested it must be food poisoning from the pizza. I said to her "if it's that, why aren't you even slightly sick?" to which she just said "I don't know". I was like this for about two weeks before I started improving... I was in so much agony I wished I was dead once or twice, no ambulance was called even though she mentioned that she "probably should call one". This was in the days before personal phones, I was very ill and weak and dependent on her. I believe I was poisoned by her, I don't know what it was, but it seems that whatever it was it went in my glass. She definitely in hindsight acted very oddly and suspiciously when insisting on pouring out drinks. It's not something she normally would insist on, or act nervous about

I’m glad it’s coming to an end for you. And when it does. Be happy.

Thank you Margaret.

The posthumous stuff....yeah. I was in a life threatening tizzy for weeks after reading The Last Word. They want to nail their judgment of you, to you, for the rest of your life. Send that tape straight to hell with a good squirt of charcoal lighter and a match. Ashes, just like he is. Love you, forget it, be strong.

Leaving a messy estate leaves a mess that will put the heirs to unending dispute.

Don't go! Stay strong!

Don't do it. A narcissist will stop at nothing to tear their supply apart even within an inch of death.

I hope you haven't visited him. He will only bring you down. Please look out for yourself and not him.

He wants a final ‘dig’ & it’ll be at your daughter.DONT GO

Yes my ex left me for another woman I guess she has to take care of him now I'm so glad I got out of he left me for another woman so glad I can move on she has to deal with him

Leave them with lots of heavy medication!

There's no limit to their evil and selfishness! 🙁

That is horrific.

Lord Jesus!

The narc denied my mother making a specification in the will regarding her jewelry. He then hid it when she went into hospital to die. My Mum said verbally how she wanted it done. Unfortunately the 2 narcs that control it now will ensure my mothers dying wish is never fulfilled. I still wonder how perverse does someone have to be in their mind to steal from their own nieces / granddaughters. Lucky those nieces understand the ‘family dysfunction’ and have already got from their dear Nana what these thieves can never steal from them. Something far more valuable they are using and appreciating already. Narcs only value materialistic things to gloat what they have to those that don’t have it. Nothing has changed since childhood. They do not and cannot grow intellectually or emotionally. It sucks to be them.

I totally understand

Very well stated.

My mom is dealing with an alcoholic narc right now who is very old and has bad cancer - I need to get the g.u.n.z. out of the house soon because I dont trust him.

@@canadianukranian509 Im so sorry. The hardest thing we will ever do is create strong boundaries. You get this life only once. Dont let anyone destroy that no matter who they are. Realize you are strong and sane because you know the difference. A narc can never know they are a narc bc they cant ever question that they are. If you want to see a great video about this, Im watching one right now - Sam Vaknin : Stop talking to the mentally deaf. When you hear this, it will blow you away. Take Care.

Afraid that’s the work you have to do for yourself not expecting anything. What helped me is to really forgive and even be thankful for the experience. It’s a long way but possible and the only real peace you can make

Me too!

Just imagine when you were five years old and you needed so much mirroring and validation to know you were okay, and she just gave you the silent treatment, leaving it up to a five year old to figure out what they did wrong. That's why it still hurts

disinheriting! the last lever of power a narc has. they try to manage the whole world even after their death.

Even if they believe their is judgment day they thing they can manipulate and gaslight their way to heaven by acting like they are the victim Judgment day means you will pay for the pain and suffering you caused withe out ever stopping or asking for forgiveness They will continue to hurt people until they die of old age!!!!!

They are evil, soulless creatures at best.

They think God is an idiot. They think He is blind and deaf to the cries of others whom they have tormented for decades. They don't think that God sits on a throne. They don't know that Truth and Justice are the pillars of His throne. The latter should make every single human accord God the utmost reverence. But I suppose that if one insists that there is no God, mental gymnastics will serve you well until the day that God says "Enough"

Yes. It happens every time with me. But I really don't think it's related to an idea of exaggeration. Most people don't care about other people stories and lack empathy. Inevitably you'll discover that some people care about your past suffering and are interested in knowing more about your predicament and about what really happened. As for the others... They just don't give a shit. In fact it's very likely that those people whom don't believe your stories are narcissists themselves. My advice is to rely on those folks who pay attention to your stories and stay the hell away from those who you suspect look at them like "exaggerated" or "too extreme".

Thanks, a lot for the sound advice, for taking the time to think about somebody else troubles and taking action writing me back! Happy Holidays!@@karnak327

♥️💯❤

Hope you get out of self blame and guilt asap. Sending prayers and love your way

I hope it stays that way for your family. While my mother was dying from cancer us kids- the 2 vile abusive ones - well one had stopped- I mean one hid her ‘true ugly’ for over 30 years. The other one was still a bit nasty but tolerable- just. He never once visited as mum was dying but he couldn’t be in the same vicinity of our father more than a ‘hello’. Our father is more putrid more decrepit in thought word and deed as he has aged and add early dementia- yeah he acts like is a dementor- literally. As soon as Mum was ‘out of the house for good’ the narc sister suddenly tookoff her mask she’s been wearing since she got engaged and went straight for me first spitting venom targeting one of my kids who was ill then my husband - then me. It’s only stopped coz I’ve gone no contact after our last conversation of “you e made everyone’s life a misery, “it’s your fault mum suffered as she was dying’ and it’s your fault Dad treats you the way he does”. That part about mum was a projection on her part in that as the nurse if family she refused to support me and mum getting mum access to a Dr specialized in 24/7 Pallative care whilst mum was still living at home. I’d organized it and took a 3 day break - from the domestic violence abuse my father was subjecting me, mum and a brother to. Came back and Mum suddenly changed her mind despite being in severe pain. My father had bullied her into staying with the part time Dr not available after hours. He was a ffffff monster to my mother. The only reason I didn’t get police involved was he did not use physical violence and I was always caught out not recording his verbal abuse and it would’ve been a long drawn out process without physical violence involved. I’m sure karma is creeping up on him. But the fantasy he lives in full of bigotry and irrational anger and vindictiveness- sucks to be him. The 2 sibling narcs one gets drunk every night alone and is hoovering with another good sibling for me to chase him and ring him to ‘say hello’. Yeah nah- he spoke to me like my father speaks to me. I called him out and he gloated saying he is his fathers son. For the first time in his life he is being held accountable for his abuse against me by me no longer being accessible to abuse and 4 of his nieces/nephews don’t really want to know him. My sister she too is finally being held accountable for her despicable behavior towards me and my kids since our mother passed. No contact no future opportunity for her to abuse and accuse and steal. She is the most perverted most cruel, most manipulative liar. She is present in gas the golden child again- coz she is the only one Dad won’t be extremely abusive and threatening to. She did a “you’re dead to me” offence to me 11 months after Mum passed. I am glad my dear Mum is dead coz if she knew what my sister has done once again - it would kill her.

I have experienced the same thing. My mother pitted my sister and me against each other our whole lives. I saw who my mother was much more clearly but my sister refused to acknowledge it until her husband died of meningitis, within 24 hours, at age 58. My mother managed to make this all about HER. Since then, my sister has gained some clarity into my mother's character and we have become much closer as a result.

Nope. You are just incredibly injured. No narcissist EVER has considered that they might be one. ❤

In my case, I want to say: "Well then, hurry up already." I have an ex that for over 20 years would tell me he may not be alive when I get back (I mean, to go grocery shopping) couldn't handle being alone I guess. he was always still alive. Now lives alone in his decrepit state, nobody can deal with him. The worst part of it these people can live to be very old and miserable. Boo Hoo.

🎼🎶 Only the good die young 🎶🎶🎶

My Dad has been "dying" for 25 years.

this! I totally get it its annoying

I'm sorry you had to go through that. I can sympathize, as it's happening to my mother right now. I wish you peace.

@@RayeBlevins Thanks, Raye. Peace to you.

I'm reading these and thinking OMG, my mother was a narcissist and I didn't know it. She's been dead 23 years, and I'm just learning this! Helps explains some of my own protective behaviors with specific personalities who try to tell me what I'm feeling or should be feeling/thinking/doing for example. She had many good qualities though, and over the years I glossed over the other things. We hired a care manager for her (she had moved to a deep southern state and we were in a northern state, but she fired the wonderful person because we were supposed to move to take care of her. It's like she used illness to get needs met? We had children and jobs so that wasn't realistic. Will be doing some reading now because of this information. Maybe I'm just ready to hear it.

unfortunately, totally true. my mother aborted 5 of my siblings and that is murder of the most vulnerable. sorry if you do not agree but it is. my mother was horrible as a mother and very very hateful and I knew she wanted me to die. the ONLY reason, the ONLY reason she allowed me and my siblings to live was to keep my DAD WITH HER. didn't work so when he left, she tortured me the most as they all became narcs and her flying monkeys and I loved my Dad so she blamed me for that, never took responsibility for one thing, always blaming me for everything. well, she is in hell now. sorry to say.

@@JustMe-uu3bh 😔💔