I agree. I also find that even doing 15 minutes of cleaning or tidying can be more palatable. Setting a timer helps too. Its amazing what can get done in a short period of time...and crazy how sometimes 15 mins can easily turn into a lot longer

@@curlycharlybrown A timer helps a lot!

A timer is the key. So powerful. And saying that's it for the day is helpful. 15 minutes every day. That's it. And just start with trash. Then dishes. No other advice because that could get overwhelming. To anyone reading this, you got this. If throwing away trash is too hard, please reach out to a therapist so you can work through what you have going on.

A little bin for your room helps. And a laundry basket or two.

And when your cleaning it's okay to stop & allow yourself to get distracted for little bits of time. Try not to let it derail you progress. IF it does, cut yourself some slack & try again. NEVER stop trying, you got this! 🤗

I do the exact same thing with ice cream and I’ve done it for years. But I learned that the hard way after buying a gallon of ice cream and eating it over two days.

You can pull yourself up by your bootstraps in almost any situation if you have an exceptional mind. However most of us have an average mind and the more counter our environment is compared to our ideal self the harder it is to lift ourselves out.

The term often used to describe this behavioral tweak is "friction". It can even go both ways - you can also remove friction for stuff you want to do, like buying healthy foods for snacking. Edit: Nvmd lol, it gets mentioned at 5:44

I think it still has a certain level of discipline involved, it still takes discipline to not go out and buy Doritos but the rule of not bringing them into the house enforces that rule

Dealing with Doritos was the classic abstinence vs moderation argument. At the core, moderation generally requires a lot more self-regulation skill than abstinence does.

Same, tbh! Is moving out of the parents really worth that steep increase in rent? I keep being like, yes, my room is a mess and a constant reminder of who I was. Which wasn't bad, it just is a lot of history that clutters my mind. I'm excited to use some tips in this video to change my environment in the ways that I can.

@@Cozmonimbus if you have better use for that money eg tuition or just food, then no, not worth it. But if you don’t have that concern then totally worth it!!

I can totally relate to this!

Any ideas?

I resonate with this! Except I never thought about changing my attitude towards it. Thank you for sharing as you have sparked a desire for change in me!

Great concept, thank you for sharing!

this is great i do this too :D i sort my clothes into different bags so i dont even have to sort by colours after i put them in the hamper loool it's great.

Genius!

Yes! I've been trying to do this lately with some success might I add. Felt proud of myself to figuring that out o my own.

Same with taking morning vitamins, just put them next to the morning coffee area. Etc.

Makeshift 'situational' room hit me hard. Now I just need to find the energy to change it lel

@@concretew 💗

I never knew how all the most important things to look for when buying a house…. are in the air! Lots of natural light, airflow, and quiet neighbors make my 500-sq ft condo feel like a paradise retreat!

that is what all of our ancestors knew deeply i reckon. all we need to do is gaze apon the architecture of the old world to see this :)

@@gc1572 Yes I have found that the neighbours are one of the most important things about choosing a house. Doesn’t matter how nice the house is if you’re irritated by the neighbours every time you’re at home.

I grew up this way too. Going back to my moms house always gives me anxiety so at home I try to be as organized and clean as possible but those habits I learned show up. Just have to keep trying.

​@@OchioChan1325 🫂💛

Totally get that ! Me too Our house was always a mess Mom worked and no Dad as well as 2 brothers that didn't help . But years ago I changed my identity and said I'm a organized guy I'm a motivated guy and I'm a healthy guy. Years later I am in a great house and am Uber organized every Tool, sock and paperclip in its designated spot (almost) always I went from 220 LBS to 150 LBs (although a recent medical problem and the pandemic set me back some but Im back to juicing physical therapy and walking) and along the way I did TV shows and movies performed for presidents and Kings well 1 king. and was able to call people like Michael Jackson friends. But this video is EXACTLY what I did to turn it around. Change your identity , Change your mindset and Change your environment and you change your life . And Bottom Line Anyone can do it.

Same

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

I'm glad you've been able to make a soft haven for yourself😊 colours can make or break your mood too - I once had my living room a raspberry colour, then purple and it sent me over the edge! Now it's peach walls and sage or aquamarine throws and cushions, and it's such a soothing colours. What colours did you choose for your space?

Same here, the first step that I made into creating a prettier space for myself was paint cow prints and hung up CDs (the reflective side) on the wall in front of me which I'd look at whenever I was bed bound. It's funky and entertaining and unexpectedly at first made me so much less depressed during the times I couldn't even look at a tv/phone and just had to stare where my eyes landed because it was always that wall. I'm moving into a new room soon and will put all of my effort into creating the perfect little space no matter where I sit or lay so I'll always have something to distract me. Maximalism if you will. Fun colours. Pictures and plants everywhere. 2 tvs, one in my bedroom and one in the living room, easily accessible no matter where I'm forced to be. Double skin care (or even toothbrushes), one part in my bathrooms and the other half next to my bed. These are the most of my tips and recommendations. They have improved my life in so many ways and hope you're able to create the perfect little spot for yourself aswell because you deserve it!

@@daniellee.e_x it sounds lovely! As you say, maximalism! I hope having to change rooms isn't too chaotic for you. Do you have family or a friend to help at home? PS palo Santo wood is very soothing comforting aroma to have when you need to feel supported. Good luck with your new room!☺️💐💖🌿

@@puggilove I, luckily, do still live at home where I mostly have my parents to help out. My new room will be a secluded area in our house w one big space w a living room, kitchen & workspace all in one and then a small bedroom area. So I'll have support when I need it but can also get some privacy. It's really nice but so stressful. I've been preparing to decorate and move spots for months now and am still waiting on the room to be fully done but even then I'm scared I'll have a hard time furniture shopping & decorating it. But we'll see, I'm keeping an open mind 🥰 I've actually never heard of that wood before but I'll definitely look into it! I really like having non medical options to help with all sides of being sick, spiritual things or alternative medicine. So I appreciate you telling me about it! ❣️ You're the sweetest & I wish you the best! Please feel hugged ❤️

I am with you! I moved my bed right next to this big window a week ago, and I now spend all my free time sewing and relaxing in this window seat! It is so uplifting.

What kind words! I totally agree with you :)

Great words, man. This channel brings me joy, perspective and lots of good reflections about life, work and family. Love the ideas, the personal tone and the way he tells stories.

I absolutely agree too! Also congratulations for the baby!

That sounds almost broke me, keep recording them! They are a finite and mystical resource

timestamp 17:30 ish

I also quit weed that way, though I save that for last when I’m exiting a degenerate stint in life, since it helps me to mitigate the withdrawal of others and also adds extra laziness friction I’m lucky out of the stage in life now where I pass through those phases, and it’s a tried & true method! Works every time, and it sticks as long as you make the decision to not go back

I think that’s why I never got into some of these things. If you’re gonna come to want cigarettes pretty often you need to remember to buy them, always have a lighter, grab them on your way out the door, buy extra if you’re going off the beaten path, plan to make time to go out for a smoke…. Too much work for me !

@@sablisland I never smoke-smoked, just either vaping or heated tobacco (IQOS). Part of the issue with vaping is that it’s just so damn convenient

I call it weaponizing laziness

Absolutely 💯

That’s true. My parents also body shame me and say all the negative things to me. I try to stay positive but it’s really hard 😭

@@waterlily9780 ohh, I'm so sorry that this is happening to you, stay strong!🫶🏻💞

I am SO happy to hear you freed yourself from the toxic relationships, and energy. I did this, and my whole family died. They were using my powerful, loving, healthy energy to stay alive, and continue their sickness and sick thinking. Without me, they could not live. There is no power in confusion, hate, and stupidity. I loved them, but they only knew how to live a lie, be parasites, and addicts and refused to tell the truth.

Thank you for your story. It encouraged me a lot with my planning of moving out as early as possible in the future. But I'm wondering if I could still live for myself in my own way but somehow still could maintain healthy relationships with my family members. How did you overcome this problem? Please tell me 😢

@@kimdungang4095 hmm, I don't know what your situation is, but in my case, I just limited my communication with my family members and we only talked on the phone, they were unkind towards me and toxic, so there was no point in communicating with them too much. Again, I really can't be much of a help, but if your relationships with your family members are already great and there are no big issues and everything is stable and healthy, then after moving out, you should call them and just chat with them, maybe you should meet up with them if you're not far away from them

I moved my bed next to a huge window, and now I watch everything in nature, doing its thing, and I am so happy!

Same, i love them. For some reason i find them to be super calming

me toooo!! do you happen to remember which channel it was?

@@marla0412 I think this was actually a Japanese vlog from Niko Life.

Hehe i love them too. My favourites are: namis life, hamimommy and honeyjubu. I love to watch them when i want to relax❤

samee, the videos are so peaceful and they take such good care of their homes it's uplifting

You don’t literally mean 2 tons right? You’re just using it as a figure if speech?

Good on you! My husband and I just moved into my childhood home which unfortunately has 2-3 generations worth of just...stuff. It's been a lot and I can't imagine doing the same to our children. Congrats on all your hard work and freedom 🙌

​@spammusubbi8596 😂😅

I love tidy. I love artful purposeful items. I love space. I love light. I do not love things in my way, things calling for me to clean them up to linger, or to feel like my home is a mess. On extra creative or extra tired days, I let it all just be, and prioritize creating +/or resting, because it makes dealing with things better for me. I love feeling accomplished and peaceful!

Yes I'm slowly getting there. The small changes I did make has already been tremendously helpful. Glad to know there's a book. Now I can learn more tips

I started doing that this year. Replaced dead light bulbs. Put cooking oil in squeeze bottles. Got a new shelf to store the overflowing box of books, got a new keyboard that fit better on my desk… it really helps make things easier.

I couldn't get up aswell today. I found no help, my own fault. The rest of my day hasn't been good either. But i have the best life one could wish.

You’ve got this

Grounding/earthing works wonders for molecular inflammation, the cause behind so much. We don't realize the effects of the highly charged environments we're in, how it can effect underlying conditions, and how little we get outside and touch the earth - the most free radical reducing biggest antioxidant on the planet, Is the planet! I wouldn't have believed it myself. Or rather I would've guess how crucial the outdoors are for health. Finding out my daughter who suffered a traumatic brain injury is EHS (electromagnetic hypersensitive) and trying to help her led me to find out where my symptoms were coming from, and my other daughters. If feeling bad, have stress anxiety or fatigue, or migrain coming on, I run outside and ground at least 5 mins, sometimes more depending. Evem just a minute or two helps sometimes. After coming in from walking around in the yard for bit, within 15 minutes my whole mood will change. I puchased grounding mats, gave up the many wireless devices like echos, speakers, smart bulbs & plugs etc... disabled unnecessary signals and set strength to low on one in the online dashboard of the modem /router (by defaut there are 3 signals set to full strength, complete overkill), plus turn it off regularly for breaks. This may not be necessary for everyone. Grounding helps everything, and may be all you need to do. I had to super "uncharge" our atmosphere, and no longer heart palpations, weird leg pains, sleep issues and horrible depression like I did before. So I'm sharing just in case it may help someone. But like I said just grounding alone can change your life and even help serious conditions. Their are people that take it seriously and have cured themselves of many things. If you have pain, and realize you don't get out and touch the ground enough, it could help you tremendously. We always hear nature is healing but we just don't give it the credit it deserves. We go from our indoor residence to our car, to work and the store, usually walking on paved surfaces plus wearing shoes that block the magnetic energy of the ground. We do this day in and day out. Add to that all of the polarized artificial manmade interference frequency pollution we're drowning in, and there is no way we won't be affected by it over time. The more you're exposed to it without reducing free radical accumulation, the more sensitive you become. Those who live in highly condensed areas and in apartments will be exposed to all of the neighbors signals too. The good news is the more you get away from the exposure, the more you will become less sensitive to it. Children shouldn't be exposed hardly at all and definitely have to get away from it as they are still growing, their cells are still multiplying. Even spectrum disorders benefit from grounding. We all do! We've just forgotten. Here is the fascinating, informative, life changing, award winning documentary on the subject called "Earthing -The Movie" kzfaq.info/get/bejne/apqUl9eDlb6ohok.html Another tip : Don't forget, the body uses a minimum of a liter of water a day just in respiration alone much less everything else. Not replacing it will cause problems. Even worse is these highly charged environments we're exposed to these days are also very dehydrating. Enough good clean spring water daily is crucial for wellbeing and to avoid exacerbating underlying conditions.

I am so sorry.. God bless you and anyone who reads this or is in a similar situation 🌹❤️

I pray for your recovery. Keep fighting. You are an inspiration x

I think a lot of kids of divorced parents can relate to this. I would feel like a zombie when I was at my dad’s. I’m an adult now, and I can guarantee you it gets better ❤

@Petra I haven’t and would like to know more?!

Just googled cptsd alone and that was very eye opening..

Labelling someone a narcissist on so little information is a reckless thing to do. The OP just mentionned a bad ENVIRONNEMENT. Maybe the dad is a narcissist... or maybe he was gutted so hard in the divorce court (as men usually are, because the divorce court heavily favors women... and I'm a woman saying that) that he doesn't have any money left to afford a nice place, nice things, and the nice acquaintances that go with it, while the mom can, on the divorce money? Just food for thought... (But maybe he IS a narcissist, what do I know 🤷‍♀️)

@Petra I am familiar with C-PTSD, I spent a lot of of time researching it to sort out my own family history. Nothing in the description of the OP is a clear indication that the dad is a narcissist. Maybe he is... maybe not. A lot of people throw the term of narcissist around very carelessly, without thinking about the consequences of putting this label on people who don't deserve it. You can suggest that maybe it could be narcissism, you can not affirm that it is. And judging by your first commentary, do you make room for the possibility that you might be projecting your own family history on the OP because it reminds you of certain elements of your past? Beware of projection, it can cause a lot of damage. But then, maybe the OP's dad is a narcissist. The point is that, on OP's description alone, it is impossible to tell, there could be other explanations...

We literally are doing this! We moved, packed everything up, and moved houses. We have a LARGE shop where most of our things are. What is in the house, we bring box by box (I'm talking about decor, non essential things, extra clothes) and are being mindful. We have been here 5 months, it's a revolving "mess" but it's not a stationary mess. I'm bagging my summer clothes in vacuum bags, I don't have room for them in the new small closet, then they will go back up to the shop. It's a process, but after living the last 13 years in ONE HOUSE and having our 3 kids grow up and move out (and leave things behind) our house was big and cluttered. It's been a good move all in all.

When our flatmate moved out, my partner and I decided to move all our stuff into her empty bedroom to start fresh. Having a clean blank room to start from meant I didn't bring a single thing in without thinking it through. I dumped all the drawers out, moved the dresser in, moved the empty drawers in, then put only certain items in the drawers. It's starting to slide back again a bit now, but when overwhelmed I still find it easier to remove everything first, then decide what to put back.

@@Lyddiebits Congratulations! Sounds like a great move, and moving into a new awareness that brings you choices, and peace. Well done.

"if I can't find a place for it it goes" love that. I have so many boxes of stuff , all good stuff that I maybe, might, someday need. Most of it has been there for years just sitting there making me uncomfortable. I have begun to toss everything that does not have a place . It really helps. Thanks.

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Have you considered an estate sale? Vendors usually can help you sort and sell and just take a commission on what the profits made…. Might thin out some of it and make it a little easier and you have extra cash instead of extra stuff.

@jenniferbreininger6015 Well, my grandmother is still alive (she's 86) and living in the home with us. I've had conversations about her will and what to do with her things but a lot of it falls on my mom and her siblings who are reluctant to claim anything or sentimental to the point that change creates conflict. I think I'll mention the estate sale when the time is right. Thanks for your suggestion

@@jenniferbreininger6015 thank you!

Move out. Its gonna kill you. Literally. Im going through my moms stuff in her flat and its so depressing

I spent 2 wks, 10 hours a day, dumping 500 lbs of crap & paper from my bedroom. I donated a ton of my clothes & got my room & bathroom that I hadn't used for 5 YEARS back to a spotless room. I even painted the walls. It was so liberating.

Yeah it's crazy how stepping outside can change your mood so quickly.

oh my gosh now I want to see your room ! 😆😍

I also want to see your room now! KZfaq room tour! Truly though, I love my room. It's so important to me. I really understand you. I don't understand people leaving their spaces desolate or dirty.

😅

timestamp 14:52 ish

Hey that's great! I just started painting and collage for the first time at age 62! I put a couple of strings along my walls, and I'm hanging my little paintings kind of like Tibetan prayer flags...I really love it!

that is fantastic!

@@cathithomas2888 My channel has almost 200 subs and 84 hours of watch time although my next video completion progress has been pretty slow due to switching to another editing software and change of gears but no matter how slow it is to make videos, I do enjoy it. I know that my channel is way more low quality and not even close to other KZfaqrs' success out there but really, I realized that the main reason for doing this is not about the success but the inspiration I've been providing some people with my stories and experiences. Whoever you are, I don't know you personally but I can say based on what you said, I can say that you're one of the non-judgmental and open-minded people who is not fixated on tangible or external factors in order to learn from someone like me. Just because someone doesn't have a piece of paper as a credential, doesn't mean that person is not entitled to share personal experiences with the hope & intention to inspire others. Keep up with whatever it is that you're doing to improve mankind or improving your life even to a slight degree each day. This is just one part of a bigger puzzle for creating my KZfaq channel about holistic health. I literally could have died back when I was 14 years old due to major depression but here I am right now replying to you, a KZfaqr, who's full of fulfillment and dedication to help others to be a better version of themselves. I ain't better than anyone else but my old self. That's all that really makes this KZfaq thing more meaningful and enjoyable. Thanks so much for your support!

This so much! My baby girl passed over the rainbow bridge a couple of years ago, but last year me and hubby felt ready to adopt two adorable little fur baby boys! I forgot how much love kitties can give and how much they brighten up every single day! Pets are life!

Putting things back where we found them is so underappreciated as a valuable part of life.

I use the phrase "don't put it down, put it away."

from my experience its the other way around😆 and its all 4 of them so imagine how stress i am im itching to kove buy rent is expensive

Every object has a home.

I gather my grooming supplies into baskets and buckets. Bathtime in one basket; morning/night grooming in another; hair in another. They keep my small bathroom counter easier to wipe down. I use buckets in my drawers - it keeps things like polish and remover and tubes of gel and lotion upright. And I can grab the entire bucket out of the drawer.

The people you surround yourself with are just as important

I think it is interrelational rather than one sided influence

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May you have a healthy and beautiful pregnancy.❤

@@mysteriousbynature thank you very much 💜 we have our fingers crossed for good health

Best wishes for your pregnancy 💝. I'm a first time Mum my lil boy is 20 months. My best advice is to keep as active as possible in the pregnancy, plus SLEEP as much as u can while you still have a chance Hope baby arrives safely- relax and trust your body u got this! Oh BTW when the nesting instinct kicks in towards the end of your pregnancy you do the best decluttering EVER! It's good you are making a start on it now though 😃

@Sarah Roberts ahaha we've actually just done a massive declutter, I have adhd so kind of hoard many different hobbies impulsively 😆 😆 😆 So all the ones I haven't even looked at in over a year went into a charity shop lol Luckily we will be in a new build by the time the baby is here so we will be going through everything we own as we move in And I will definitely makes sure to stay as active as possible, thank you for the advice and kind words 🩷 It is greatly appreciated

Best of luck and happiness with your beautiful baby! Your new home will be such a sanctuary for your new family ❤️ I wish we'd managed to get our home comfortable and clean before our first, as it really does add such a burden to the overwhelm of parenthood, but I'm determined to get it done before we have another child!

Hey there, it's been a year, you're 20 now, the same age as my youngest. From this mom to you a young person, I truly hope you're in a better place this year💜

Thanx 4 sharing your story. I'll watch some videos in your channel.

Whoa

Wow! Breathing fresh air at a lake is beautiful. I'm happy for you 😊

@@ShiaGirl18 thank you so much!!

@@mehditate You're welcome!

yes to all of this ❤

you could always get a white table and put one of those electric pianos on top, put some cheap plants in, open curtains / put a sun light inside or warm / bright lamps whichever u prefer, then have the cat

You can play the piano with a cat on your lap?

The identity I do want is wealthy young retiree, what I got is burntout neurodivergent mess.

Sounds and music truly affect our moods. I recently made it easier for me to turn on youtube. No struggles with audio cables and having to turn on several devices to get to that point. Now when I get home, I turn on the sounds that help me get into the desired mindspace. Music can be distracting too, but some upbeat music helps me get up and get things done, whereas bird sounds are simply calming. Have you tried turning up some bird sounds on KZfaq and immerse your home a bit with that playing in the background? You're in control!

@@spacecatmowgli4723 it doesn't help me unfortunately, I know a lot of ADHD folk use music to get through chores.

For a lovely birdsong background, I can recommend the videos from the channel by Paul Dinning. They are videos of birds actually meant for cats, but they make for a lovely background that is relaxing and not distracting.

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How long has it taken? I am just beginning to do what you did and it feels so hopeless. My stuff owns me also. But I quite like a lot of it. But there is boxes and piles of other crap too! So much effort to ditch it.

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Oh wow and I just got to the end and see that you're a girl dad. She will grow up to be so lucky to have you as a dad! You're so inspirational and you and your wife look so happy together. I'll be rooting for your happiness.

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