Thanks so much for watching!! Hope ya liked it - hope you chuck a dark why or 2 in these comments for other people to get inspired by And huge thanks to Aura for supporting the channel (as well as my wellbeing and sleep... or lack of *glares at beautiful baby*) Get started with Aura today for free & the first 500 people to use my link will also get 25% off+ free trial to the Aura membership: www.aurahealth.io/struthless Also have a lovely day (in case you were planning otherwise)

"I'm tired of the people I don't respect living the life I want." I was not proud of this thought, but it got me moving forward.

When I was staying in Thailand a while back, I used to go exercise in the nearby park early in the morning. There was a surprising amount of people who were there at the same time as me and going around the loop in the park felt kind of like a group thing, even if you were going alone. Anyway, I used to half-jokingly say that I was imagining that we were all trying to run away from Godzilla (not that far-fetched if you've ever seen one of the giant lizards they have over there) together as we were circling that loop. I didn't take it seriously, of course, but just the thought amused me and put me in a good enough mood to keep on going. Then there were the people going in the wrong direction who were obviously sacrificing themselves for the cause to save the rest of us. Bless them.

the dark why thing is really fascinating when you compare it to why some neurodivergent people struggle with task paralysis & executive dysfunction… UNTIL we’re put under an imminent deadline or pressure, and then we shine. that’s such a cool connection

I once had a friend, who was super fit, working as a personal trainer and living what looked like a good life. I asked him, what made you wanna start this lifestyle and he told me his dark why, but he framed it like this. ”You have a plot of land that’s empty. You hate looking at the empty plot and you know your plot would be amazing if it had a house in it.” It wasn’t the want for a house that made him built the house, it was the empty sad looking plot that he wanted to get rid of. This video made me understand why hating the empty plot works.

You have to go to your darkest side to see whats blocking the light. the only way out, is through.

I find that the "dark why" is really what makes us human. I don't think a person can honestly say they have lived their whole life having never motivated themselves with a selfish reason. Even as a kid; I started to take drawing 'seriously' and trying to improve myself in 6th grade, because I was jealous my friend could draw better than me and everybody wanted her to draw pictures. Now I've graduated uni with a BFA, hoping to do a master's some day. To deny or repress those negative motivations creates a cycle of selfhatred and might even leave you more unmotivated, I used to be stuck in that cycle for years and I accomplished nothing. Once I forgave myself for being human and needing to 'hotwire the car', I embraced my more toxic initial thoughts (providing I don't let them feed into depression where I just lay in bed and shit on myself for hours) and was able to start the roll of motivation, even overcoming a lot of anxiety by just pushing through difficult tasks with negative selfstarters. I always love your videos but this is such an important message to get out. In this crazy capitalist world that tries to force us to be positive all the time so we can be "more productive" with altruistic nonsense, we need more people openly sharing their dark why's, and how through that they were able to be the person they wanted to be.

I love this! I have one caveat/critique though. The Dark Why needs to be VERY intentional, because for a lot of people it could be reinforcing internalized values that don't ring true, and lead to executive dysfunction. To use your car analogy...the hotwire works in the short term but if you don't find your keys it leaves your car vulnerable to anyone malicious, or just selfish. That person can jump in your car and use your tank of gas for themselves. They might not even be bad, they might just not have a key to their own car but they see yours ready to hotwire. So the Dark Why is useful, but also prone to abuse by others. If you use shame to motivate yourself, and then your partner or loved family member ends up using that same shame against you, even innocently but misguided, it can have a lot more negative impact on you. Sorta a "screw it, you take the car, I didn't want to go out anyway" type effect. I was one that used the Dark Why for years (namely fear of homelessness, a fear I don't really have but internalized from my entire family) and it led to extreme burnout and dissatisfaction with my entire life. So again, the Dark Why would keep me off the streets for a short term, but over time I'd crash and burn because I still wasn't finding my proper and reliable key to my car.

"a lack of self-respect is just the dark side of knowing what you want to be in this world." BAM! That one struck deep! Thank you for making such incredible content. It really has nothing to do with those "other" motivation/productivity types, the humanity is woven into every moment. I feel much more motivated with much less guilt when I watch your videos.

I've always struggled with getting started on things. Could be anything; things I don't enjoy and things I do. I would procrastinate on getting a pedicure just as much as I would on cleaning the bathroom. I always felt ashamed of how lazy I was, and tried to hide that part of me. I'd say things like " I'm too tired right now because I've had so many stressful things going on. Once I rest and feel better, then I'll tick off all the to-do's." Always trying to justify to myself why it wasn't that I was lazy, but "tired", "sick", "too busy", etc. Recently I've started to feel more compelled to lean into and accept my shadow side. I started thinking about laziness, and how laziness itself is not "bad", it just is. Like a strong work ethic is not "good", it just is. It's a trait, and whether it becomes good or bad depends on how we use it. So I stopped labeling myself as "bad" because I'm lazy, and instead started thinking of it as just another one of my personality traits. Now when I don't want to do something (which is always, no matter what the thing is), I say to myself "I don't want to do this because I don't want to get up. I don't want to get up because I'm lazy. Ok. Laziness is making me feel like I don't want to get up, and that's ok." This allows me to non-judgmentally accept my full self, shadow side included. That acceptance seems to automatically knock down a wall that prevents me from moving. Basically telling myself it's ok that I'm lazy. That's fine, I can be lazy and still do the things I want to do. I don't know if this makes sense, but it's like if you had poor vision, you wouldn't sit in the back row in class and not wear your glasses and try to pretend like your vision was fine. You'd accept that you have poor vision and need to sit in the front row in class and wear your glasses. With that acceptance of what is and not treating it as "bad" or something to hide, you just do what you need to do to manage your issue and get on with things.

I just left an awful, awful job with an awful boss. I'm using the fact that i never want to be in the position i was in again, to change my approach to life, and think differently about what i'm doing with my career. The negativity has driven me to positivity.

So many folks think I'm joking, when I say, "I run on tea, bullet points, and spite." Not a joke. So affirming to hear similar viewpoints

In middle school, I read “13 Gifts” by Wendy Mass. It started off with Tara, a girl who was being sent away over summer to a relative’s place because she did something (I don’t recall). She did wronged a lady on the train (or perhaps had something stolen from her?) and had to complete favors to make it up. She was sent all over the town to complete little acts of kindness, which spiraled into large acts of kindness. At the end, Tara gets her things back, but questions the legitimacy of her acts because she was doing them for selfish reasons. She voices them aloud to the train lady, and the lady responds, “Does it matter what your reasons were? Would it have gotten done otherwise?”

As someone who wasted years on toxic positivity and waiting for the perfect emotional state to get motivated, finally realising that any emotion can be used to set me into motion was absolutely life changing.

Negativity motivation also ties into fight/flight/freeze response. Your negative emotions can push you to freeze- to shut down and do nothing- or they can push you to fight- take control and accomplish that thing that's bothering you. Turning freeze into fight is the struggle I'm facing right now.

This make so much sense. We are being told now that shame is bad. Don't be so hard on yourself. But I think context is everything. We can shame ourselves into paralysis or action. I struggled with my ADHD, dyslexia, and bipolar disorder for years without diagnosis or treatment. There was a lot of toxic shame because I just couldn't do what was expected. When I was finally diagnosed with the bipolar and got treatment it flipped those years of shame around. I thought "Hey, you weren't a worthless basket case, you had undiagnosed mental illness. In fact it is pretty damn amazing what you did accomplished without help." However, I never would have been diagnosed if I hadn't acted on that pain to push me to keep looking for the answer. The reason I pushed myself was I desperately wanted to prove my father wrong. Fast forward 16 years later, mid pandemic, I'm trying to finish my degree and I'm about to completely blow it. I'm literally about to have a nervous break down in the middle of my senior thesis research. That toxic shame came up. "Yep. that's me. Always a quitter. Dad was right." But then I flipped it. "No, that is not me anymore. I will graduate. I can do hard things. Something must be wrong." Talked to my psychiatric nurse and she sent me for ADHD evaluation. ADHD was the basket that all the other stuff fit into. Now my whole past is re-framed and I'm not stupid or lazy or defective, my brain is just different. Had I not experienced that adversity, that negativity, my own doubts, I never would have gotten to the place I am now. Had I not been shaken to my core by almost blowing my degree in the last semester, I wouldn't have found the answer to why there was always this ceiling I couldn't get past. I am now studying to be an ADHD coach and an instructor for the Mental Health First Aid program. I believe my Dark Why pushed me to save my own life and finally find the Big Why - my purpose. I feel more purpose and drive than ever before. And that doesn't happen from medication alone. As always, thanks!

Everything I've ever accomplished has been inspired by the chip I carry on my shoulder from everyone who ever told me that I couldn't. There is nothing more motivating that "fuck you, watch me."

Something I got out of therapy recently is that there are two lists in my head: the organic, genuine motivations to do things, and the 'should' reasons to do things. The 'should' list is the list of why I'm supposed to do the thing, like: i should get a job because I'm supposed to, bc I have to, bc I don't want to be poor, I don't want to be a slacker, etc. The organic motivation list is the stuff that makes me want to do the thing, like: I want a job because I enjoy learning new things, having cash for fun and financial security, having a way to meet people and get out of the house, etc. The 'should' list kills my motivation instantly, even for things I really really want or need to do and have my own sense of motivation for, but I usually disregard my organic motivations for things instead of pursuing things out of genuine desire, and find it easier to do nothing at all, or something of low investment like vacuuming or video games. The hard thing for me is trusting that trying is worth it and that the things I want are valuable. The idea is that I'd rather look back on the past having invested in the things I care about and will be a lot less likely to see that investment as a failure or as worse than the low investment, short term things I find easier to do. As such, the goal is to listen to those moment to moment thoughts and feelings a lot more, and to shame and avoid those things a lot less. This channel is really cool, I've been watching it for over a year, but it often takes a very personal level of reflection and conversation to recognize just how close to home the ideas are to what I'm trying to learn. I'm glad to have both, because videos like this are so important and they remind me of what I want to value and do with my life

Remember when you were like "I struggle with perfectionism an am tackling it by lowering my standards" and now your videos have even higher production quality?

This made me realize several things, but there's one thought in particular I want to share for the sake of other nuerodiverse and/or disabled/chronically ill folk (particularly ADHD in my case, but this may be interesting to think about in other contexts as well) In this car analogy, even if your circumstances have given you a key, we haven't been given a car with a nuerotypucal ignition. It doesn't matter how many keys you have if you haven't been given a brain or body that can use them. In fact, it may as well not have an ignition at all, if it weren't for the times it randomly starts for unrelated tasks or runs itself off the road to chase trivial sidequests. Every time I've improved my general productivity, it's been by ignoring conventional wisdom and finding ways to trick my brain into starting the tasks it desperately wants to do So learning to hotwire the car isn't just a quirky little gimmick you can use every once in awhile to bring a task to the next level, but a key tool for daily survival that should be factored in at all times to preserve your sanity. After all, there's only so many times you can sysiphus the car up the road before you completely mentally and physically burn out

I always say that suffering is always worth something - when we embrace the negativity for our own growth, rather than shun and shame it, the suffering becomes radically transformative.

why is it that ex-addicts have the best life advice ever? this video is life changing- as one of those that feel shame when accessing my 'dark-why' just, thank you (and wishing the best for you and your fam!)

My husband was voted least likely to succeed in his high school yearbook. He said it was the best motivator of his life. 👍

This happened to my husband recently. He was overweight for the longest time and struggled with high blood pressure and constant migraines. He had some blood tests and was told that he was at risk of becoming a diabetic if he didn't drastically change his lifestyle. He was so terrified of getting diabetes that he started Keto and stuck with it for months, not cheating once. He ended up losing over 30kg, corrected his blood pressure, his mood improved, and he had more energy to play with our kids. The negativity thing definitely works!

This is literally how I got over my depression lmao, I hit a point where I realised that I was going to go down one of two paths, I was either going to kill myself, or I was gonna change. I figured, what do I have to lose from doing things differently? This is already the worst I could ever possibly feel, the worst thing that could happen is I feel the same as I do now. So I just. Stopped doing shit the way I had been doing it. Instant improvement, instant motivation, it took a couple more years for that to extend to like. Basic functioning stuff like going back to school and learning how to do chores (my depression started very young) but eventually it did, I just realised again that no matter how many problems I had with the idea of trying, at least if I was trying something would happen. If I did nothing nothing would change. I haven't slowed down since, I'm still not as "grown up" as I maybe should be by this age, but I'm not holding that against myself anymore, I'm using it to push myself forwards so that I can be.

I have been on the struggle bus with uni for years now and am constantly trying to work through the fear and negativity that my past mistakes define me and that it is futile to continue my studies. This video has helped me let go of some of that shame and made it feel okay to harness that energy to be determined to finish this degree out of spite and proving people wrong lol

My psychologist told me, not too long ago that we should start seeing our anger as a superpower because essentially anger is just a feeling telling us that we wish for a change. Next time you feel anger, try to look for the change you desire in the situation. It can be as simple as you breaking your phone’s screen and getting angry - the change you want is for your screen not to be broken anymore. Changing your focus from the anger feeling to the change you desire, can also help you focus and point out the next course of action more clearly.

Rich Roll, this channel and a dash of a few other creators allowed me to change my life. I definitely used my dark why. I thought about my son growing up to be a fat loser and realizing he was taught to be this way by me. It’s really my fear of being a fat dad that keeps me sober and running. Thanks my para-social digital mentor. You’re awesome. Your family is lucky to have you.

First of all, I LOVE your channel and advice. I've been thinking about this a lot and felt compelled to put a little warning about using this mindset and some cases where it could be really dangerous. Obviously I know this example I'm giving it not what you're promoting, but hear me out. I realized my kind of "darkest dark why" is based in comparison to others and severe fatphobia. I have absolutely tapped into this as motivation before and IT WORKED! I lost 20 pounds, looked great... but I also basically stopped eating for months and still hated myself (because that was the habit I was practicing). I would tell myself "you won't be loved if you're fat... Only skinny people are pretty, happy, successful...etc." Worst of all, my brain became obsessed with this idea that weight=worth and I couldn't turn it off when I looked at others. It's an idea we're subconsciously fed through the media all the time. I judged myself and others all the time based on appearances and that is a truly miserable way to live. I've since worked really hard to get out of that mindset and now, I do struggle to find the keys to the car or healthier ways to hotwire it. My point is that there are limitations to this and ESPECIALLY if you have a history of eating disorder or an obsession that got out of hand, please think hard about what you use as motivation. It can lead a dark place.

I just want to say, that as someone with a mental illness, this tactic would never work for me. My darkness does not inspire action - all it does is make me hide from the world and avoid my responsibilities. I have OCD, so there's a real danger that using hatred toward myself or others will cause me to spiral out of control for weeks or months at a time. I wish that I could make this work because trust me when I say that I have A LOT of darkness that would be great to transform into something positive... But, if I start a task or project from that place, I'll never be able to transition my motivation from darkness to something more healthy. I think that transition is key to making this tactic work for someone like me long-term. Using shame and disgust with myself as my only motivator is Not The Move. I'm really glad this method works for some! But if it doesn't work for you, that's okay too!

honestly all my productivity and motivation problems started once i stopped hating myself. as they say - comfort is what kills potential.

My dark why: being in a severely controlling relationship where I could not do what I wanted or be who I wanted caused me to really look at who I am. I broke out of that situation and now I'm more me than I've ever been. Very happy to be on this new journey to find my truth. Thank you for your videos. All the best to you always 💜

To me, anger directly translates to action. That's the evolutionary reason it exists. I get angry because something needs to change. It's hard to capture that feeling and use it positively because I don't often get that angry. I'm thinking I can either try focusing on my more common negative emotions or I can try "angry meditation." Deliberately invoking the feeling of anger when I need to get something done.

I clean like a mad women before I have people over, things get deep cleaned. I’ve always loved that extra push high I get when deep cleaning because I don’t want to look like a slob. Now I know why! I can definitely apply this in other areas of my life. Crazy I never thought of it like that before. 🤯🎉

Part of my motivation is to create a teaching moment for my relatives.

I think one of the most intense "dark why's" is with trying to get someone to love you. Michael Jordan said in The Last Dance his extreme competitiveness began when he was a kid, competing against his brothers for their dad's love. When the wires get crossed in your brain that your worthiness of being loved is tied to you achieving or attaining some thing, shit gets real intense real quick.

Thank you so much for making videos like this. In a world full of toxic positivity, you're great at reminding a lot of us that it's actually OK to embrace all aspects of your humanity, even those "negative" emotions. I also really appreciate that you always acknowledge that everyone has come from a different starting point, that we're not all running the same race

You have no clue how much your videos benefit my anxiety, depression & ADD riddled mind.

My friends always get a kick out of me saying, “I can do all things through spite which strengthens me.”

Great video! I really like that "best thing that ever happened to me" exercise. I've used that a few times since first hearing you talk about it. I also wanted to say that your advice has altered my life for the better. I interviewed for a job last month and they offered me the position, but the salary was too low. So I decided to take your advice in a previous video and "say no with a price" by asking for a salary much higher. Surprisingly, they gave it to me! I just wanted to say thanks!

I’m not sure this dovetails exactly with what you were saying but this year, to get through a terrifying major surgery, I used the words of marathon runner Eluid Kipchoge: ‘I try to control my brain and tell myself, listen: where the pain increases, that is where the success is.’ I’m actually very frightened of pain. On the other side of the long dark run into the surgery and the painful long recovery, the worst thing ever really did turn out to be the best thing.

My dark why for the college application process was to outdo my Precalc teacher who said "usually only kids with problems at home take a class pass no credit" I'm now in the honors program at the same school he graduated from. Feels good man.

it is so so refreshing to hear someone talk about self improvement in the way that you do. never stop sharing :)

This video feels life changing, not only accepting but also teaming up with your demons to get your goals

Rage cleaning is just one way I use the energy of the dark whys. All that dark energy serves me. I do not serve it. Ty for the brilliant reminder of the why’s and how’s this works!!!

Reminds me of why I tell people anger is a useful emotion....it's far more motivational than depression....anger gets you acting.

In the past I’ve struggled with sports. Though I made it on my schools cross country team and varsity soccer team, i don’t feel good enough. My parents were generous enough to buy my a Letterman’s Jacket. I’ve discovered that my Dark Why is that I don’t deserve it, therefore I must work harder to earn it.

I was told by my upcoming math teacher once during another classes exam that I should drop out of his class into a lower level. I proceeded to pass his class with an 87 and was the only to get 100% on two of the units completely. And that’s with undiagnosed crippling ADHD and I had always struggled with numbers and math in general! Suck it Geiger.

I have to say there's also a trap you can fall into by following your dark why, and that is doing something that you don't really want to do and which will not make you feel complete and accomplished. I did that a lot when I was a bit younger (although I'm 26 now lol). I think the idea of getting motivated by negativity is great and can lead to results, but for me it would just turn on my monkey brain and I made decisions that were irrational. What I'm saying is: think about what you're motivating yourself for. Are you doing this for yourself or for others who won't care anyway?

Also, not only using the dark why for motivation but even the act of acknowledging it in the first place and coming face-to-face with it alleviates shame, like a lot. Instead of allowing it to ruminate inside of you and trying to ignore its existence, consciously bringing it to the forefront of your mind is empowering. So it’s a twofold win. I hadn’t thought of this until I watched this video. But now I’m going to think about it a lot and definitely use it. I keep saying this but I’m gonna keep on saying it anyway I’m really happy you are doing what you are doing. I absolutely love your content!!

OK, here is my dark Y. I survived breast cancer… Twice. Two different kinds, one estrogen, positive and estrogen, negative… Etc. etc. It’s stuck me with Fibromyalgia, ME/CFS, myofascial, pain, syndrome, and a myriad of other comorbidities. But, I am alive. So I win! Now I’ve started my business… From years of being “artistic.” I am creating beauty and joy and fun and happiness, and I am sharing it. Because had I taken this the other direction, I wouldn’t be doing any of those things. I would be dead. Negative motivation works. Thank you for this… I enjoyed your KZfaq.

This is the single best piece of advice that I've ever heard! I've watched WAY too many of the self help "gurus" and felt like complete garbage afterwards because I didn't wake up each day with infinite motivation, go for a 5 km run, take cold showers (for whatever reason), and meditate for an hour. I'm using the motivation of wanting to punch these jerks face one day as the reason to get up and make myself better!

Your videos are incredible ❤

Negatively can definitely help fuel personal growth and positive change. I once left a bad job and out of pure anger and spite, I was able to find a secure a better one in less than a week. If you can learn to control negative emotions you can make them work for your benefit.

"What you're looking for is energy. Doesn't matter if it's good or bad. Find a power source you can use. " This hit me. I have so much repressed rage and anger that I've come to regard as "bad" energy. As if where it came from will somehow corrupt the actions it's used for. Fuel is fuel. Get it. Thank you.

There’s a maybe 8 year old kid named Jeremiah who interviews pro athletes. Anyone who’s seen his work as a journalist is impressed because of his vocabulary and professional decorum at such a YOUNG age! He shared on the Jennifer Hudson show that because his parents are older than typical parents with an 8 year old son, and his mother has very serious health concerns, it drives him to achieve as much as possible at an early age. It brings tears to my eyes and it explains how he’s so excellent this early in life with his dark why acting as the fuel for his actions

Whenever I am in a depressive episode or I am particularly upset about something, I try to turn it into anger. My philosophy is: Turn sadness into anger, because anger leads to passion, which turns into action. I think this video explains why it works so well for me!

Ok here’s my dark why - I am a musician and I am super competitive. There was this lead singer who I was jealous of a little, and I honestly for a while I just wanted to be her. It made me feel worthless and afraid to fail. So I worked on learning one of their songs, and gave it everything I had even if it meant my voice cracked or wobbled. I not only got better, but also was able to start to like my own voice. I kinda take myself back to that jealous angry place when I need that extra push. Hope this helps someone, gonna have fun reading the rest of the comments now😊

I am personally someone who is drawn to good more than bad (atleast, I hope I am). If "dark why" quite doesn't sound good for you like me, think of this entire video as "better and happier ways to look at tragic times". Unlike what I initially thought, struthless here isn't trying to propagate harm to serve oneself. The darkness here refers to yourself getting stuck in negativity and one day looking within the same negativity to see reason and hence the light. This really is positive thinking wrapped up to appeal to those minds which are attracted to bad happenings!

I always tell people "the best revenge you can get on someone who was a bully to you is to become happy and successful in your own life." Use every mean thing they said or did to you and let it motivate you to prove them how wrong they were. In the end, it was you who won, not them and you didn't lower yourself to their level by putting them down, instead you boosted yourself up and they helped in the process.

A bit of a side topic but what that runner said made me think about it- visualizing yourself as someone who already overcame some obstacles that you're facing is really helpful. I am a self taught snowboarder and my mom told me something a long time ago, she said that if i want to be better at snowboarding i should just act as if I'm a pro. Best advice ever. If you're really playing this character of someone really good at something (especially connected with moving your body) it really makes you unconsciously more brave and adapt certain behaviors intuitively

I just turned 74, and I have a friend who is the same age (ish). He is fit, healthy, and loving his life. He makes less money than I do yet always seems to have it. I look in the mirror and see a scrawny, wrinkled and unfit woman and I know I could be doing a lot better. A lot better. That would be my dark why I suppose. Thank you for the inspiration.

In the words of Fernando Vera: “People walk around, act like they know what ‘hate’ means. Nah, no one does, until you hate yourself. I mean… truly hate yourself. That’s power.” That’s always my dark why. Trying to not be something I hate.

the concept of the dark why really speaks to me. ive been using spite to motivate me as a way to survive abuse for years, and even though im no longer in an abusive situation, it still helps me when trying to move on from that to something better.

This sounds like a good method for an initial jump start, but as another commenter said, if you've already been using similar methods long-term and/or for basic survival in a persistently bad situation, it's not likely to work very well to say the least. My big question is how to spin hopelessness, despair and a desire for ...destruction, for lack of a better term... into something positive and motivating, but not actively harmful.

One of my dark why has been with me since childhood. I always felt like the adults around me discouraged me and put me down, and I felt like they all expected me to fail in life. My aunt told my mother that I'd be a good-for nothing because I started staying up late in middle school and another family friend of 50 years old "jokingly" asked me if I was doing videochat while I was playing on my computer at 14 yo. This year I'm finishing my masters and everyone is "so proud of me", especially since I'm the first to get to this point in my immediate family. I'm glad I proved everyone wrong but now I need a new "out of spite" goal LOL

There's only so many times you can fail before you run out of ways you can fail.

Negativity has been my main driver in life. I seem to have forgotten it over the past few years when my life has become quite a bit less miserable. Damn... thanks for reminding me.

Another bangin' vid! I'm 34 and I've just gone back to uni and trying to get assessments done when you also work full time and have two kids can be harddddd. My dark why is definitely attempting to beat all of the fresh out of high school kiddies because I have "life experience" and "more wisdom" ahaha.

For me I really like who I am on good days, but really dislike myself when it's a bad day and I'm procrastinating or being lazy - what helps me get out of that sometimes is imagining I'm my own Dad looking at myself in disgust at the idle-teenager type behaviour 😂 reminds me that I'm capable of doing better and that I much prefer being the adult me! Thanks for another awesome video mate!

"I can do all things through spite which strengthens me."

Oh my god, I just wrote out your decision matrix for replacing junk food with healthy food, and I really struggled to come up with a single short-term gain for eating healthy. This really drove home why I find it such a challenge - like yeah there's loads of long term benefits, but honestly the only two short term ones I could think of is not being constipated and a vague sense of having made the 'right' choice. Neither of those are particularly satisfying. Healthy home-cooked food doesn't make me feel good in the moment, it takes a while to start seeing the benefits and honestly it just doesn't taste as good. This exercise has really clarified what I need to look at to suceed. Thank you so much.

I read somewhere that jealousy alerts us to what we want for ourselves. I find this incredibly helpful for identifying what I want, and it's stopped me feeling like I have to suppress jealousy. Now I see it as a good thing

I like the idea of making up a story to help motivate you. This way, you can tap directly into your insecurities. Here's mine: "There’s another person on the other side of the world who is just like me and is working on the exact same project. If I don’t finish before them, I will be ridiculed, I’ll become homeless, and my cats will be lost without me to care for them."

This is a collection of the best worst things I've ever heard. Thank you.

I envision a school reunion where I’m clearly the most epic person ever, and it fuels the crap out of every thing I do. Upside of systemic bullying I guess😅

Im at that point in my life where I needed this reality check. Truly, noble intentions are are a privilege for those who can afford, for those whose lives are paved with gold. For those of us who live in the mud, we have to crawl on our hands and knees just to get out. There's no beauty in sinking gracefully, so better to just claw our way to the surface by whatever thought and tool we can use.

This video is so accurate. I like how you acknowledge that sometimes it can be toxic to think negativity will beg action. But in the video your discussion did justice to how our insecurities and challenges can be used to act. "Is this the best I can do reframes the question where we are forced to get out of our self-pity mindset and get to asking the right question where we can acknowledge shame and guilt. I have tried and tested this. I used to ask "am I doing enough?" And it was never enough! But I have now started asking 'is this the best I can do?' I go back and look at my resources, calculate what I need to do and then move to action. Motivation follows. The more I finish tasks the more motivation I get and I am only focussed on my actions not how 'good enough' I am.

Amazing video, as usual! My dark why stems from my mom. She had a stroke when I was 10, I had to help her learn to talk and walk again. I need to get fit and my dark why is….if I don’t get fit I’ll also have a stroke and my kids will have to see me go through what I went through with my mom. As morbid as it sounds, I think it’s powerful!

I was trying to figure out how to encourage myself to do the things I want to do. And I thought, let me see if struthless has anything to say, he always has the practical advice. And now here I am, five minutes into this video like yes, this is exactly what I didn't know I needed but hitting the nail directly on that head. Thank you so much!!!

I love this and it makes me feel so seen. My dark why is not wanting to be like my verbally abusive parent. So my home is clean, my car stays maintained, and I'm never going to be as large as her(and I'll actually admit to occasionally binging food because its OK to like cake a little too much gosh darn it! I won't lie about it and pretend that my diet is perfect despite being overweight!). There's a whole lot of other behaviors that i wont list off because it's not anyone else's business, but it definitely gives me a sense of satisfaction to come home to a home where the worst thing is I might have a load of dishes or laundry to take care of.

I’m so glad I found this video. I’m one of those people who has a lot of demons but feels like it’s wrong to let them be my “why.” I’ve been severely depressed for so many years, feeling guilty that I’m not motivated by the same things as others. The dark why concept doesn’t necessarily solve everything, but I feel like this video gave me permission that I’ve been subconsciously waiting for.

Dr. Huberman shared this on his podcast as well. He stated that positive motivation works in the beginning, but once you’re going & in the middle of it or need to finish something, negative motivation will get you across the finish line.

The only reason why im good at art and probably going to make a career out of it soon (im 17 but im starting to get some opportunities arise already) is because it pissed me off seeing other people be better than me at it growing up. Even now the only thing keeping motivated everyday to draw is remembering my peers who are better than me and secretly competing with them.

Thank you for explaining why I could never get through “Start with Why,” and for redeeming me to myself for not having one of those golden shiny altruistic motivations behind why I bust my ass to achieve my goals. BLESS YOU SIR!!! ❤

I knew someone that took this concept a little too literally years ago when he covered the entire wall of his office in corkboard and stuck negative notes on it to motivate himself to "be on the grind". He'd spend all day in there working, so I guess it worked, but it also led to him being super depressed and burnt out. Just like with anything, of course, don't obsess about it. Otherwise, there's no shame in leaning into the darker parts of you. I spent a ridiculous amount of money on a journal to motivate myself to journal. It wasn't money that I should have spent and so I felt sort of guilted into using it to make sure that I didn't make a stupid purchase. Now, I'm on my fifth one in 6 years. I always buy the same kind of journal, just in different colours, and I learned early on that I can't dedicate the journal to any one thing in specific - like it can't be a dream journal, or an agenda, or just a diary - otherwise I won't use it cuz my brain doesn't want to write the "wrong thing" and ruin the theme?? *annoying * So I call it my "Doom Journal" because it has everything from game notes, to grocery lists, to diary entries, to doodles. Letting it be whatever it needs to be has really allowed me to embrace journaling and now I do it almost weekly. Alzheimers also runs in my family so that's another "dark why" for journaling, too. I already have memory problems (due to disociation) so journaling helps me remember things, helps me make memories and connect more to them. Journaling is not only important for my mental health and processing complex emotions, but also it's keeping a record of my life, something I can look back on and reflect on with much more clarity. I'm so thankful that I made that stupid, expensive purchase that day.

"A lack of self-respect is just the dark side of knowing what you no longer want to be in this world. " That's f@#*ing brilliant. Thank you for that.

For 10 years I was in a dead end career and hated myself for it. Then I broke my neck and back and became paralyzed. That was 2 years ago. Now I'm a professional designer and absolutely love my career. Thank God I'm one of the lucky people who have had horrible shit happen to them.

I grew up poor which made me a hyper responsible, self reliant person who can budget every penny. My body is covered in stretch marks from having to lose 100+ lbs twice in my life due to emotional eating and abuse. I'm one of the strongest people I've ever met and that's what I want my son to know about me when he's older. Listen to this man, reframe your personal struggles and wear your scars like a badge of honor.

This video reminded me of something someone said to me in the waiting room of a psychiatric ward (tw for suicidal ideation) I made friends with someone else waiting; they asked what career I wanted, I laughed and said I wasn’t going to live long enough to have a career and this person who was years younger then me, who had been the psychiatric ward many more times then me looked at me with such pity and said: “you have to want to live, if you can’t do that you’re doing to die” and from a non suicidal brain that sounds obvious but for me it was a revelation. From then on I did whatever I needed to do to survive. Eventually I got on medication that worked and it took years but I can now say I’m no longer suicidal; I still have depression and anxiety but I can deal with them, I’m now a positive outgoing person and I view all the terrible things I went through as something that was worth it to get to where I am now

The dark why that immediately jumped out at me was cleaning. I find that I am much more motivated to clean when I perceive a situation as disgusting. Thankfully for me, that doesn't take much clutter to reach that point, but it really helped anchor my thought process through the rest of the video.

Thank you for your videos. For making me feel uncomfortable, for encouraging me to question my beliefs, for reigniting my curiosity.

I've been through a lot lately. Diagnosed with a fatty liver from eating and drinking too much, struggling with life long mental health issues, and my gf of 10 years left me to work on her own mental health issues. There's a lot to this negative motivation though, because obviously positive motivation hasn't been working for me for the last 30 years. I don't want to die early and out of shape from eating massive amounts of shit like a lot of my family. I don't want to end up in the streets addicted to drugs and alone like a lot of my former friends. It's literally not even an option to keep living like I was last year, because of how close I've come to being exactly where I don't want to be. The tough part was that before my gf left, she was my motivation to do better. She was the reason I didn't want to die early or end up in the streets. I was in a dark place when we started dating, and she pulled me out, made me want to live and have more for myself. Now that we aren't together, all that's left is not wanting my life to be shit. People who positive motivation comes easy for should count themselves lucky, because it means they have something positive in life to begin with. But as a species or country, we can't all count on positivity all the time, and if you look really close you'll probably realize that even a lot of the so called positive motivations are actually negative motivations in disguise.

Wow, this video made me even cry a lil bit, the moments of biggest inspiration for me were I was soo angry and infuriated because of some situation I hated, this video helped me feel a little less guilty of not having a "pure and innocent" reason to do the things I love. Thanks!

Being able to turn disadvantages into advantages is something not many people even consider. Being lazy makes me think about giving myself rest. Being jealous makes me want to push harder, same as thinking myself as "not good enough". Fear is a great motivator for the development of humanity. Thanks for the video.

I love you man ! I have been through hell in my twenties. To clarify, i did not almost die burned in a forest fire. But, I have stayed in my room in complete apathy 2 summers in a row. Got tired Looking for the key man The fear of not being on the good path is a terrible one to face on your own and you're doing a good job to help others overcome it with great imagery we can integrate and clever tricks. Thank you Camp. Its also a beautiful act to sometimes start each others cars and your videos (and your book) often do the job for me. Cheers from Belgium, im gonna go journal in a coffee and clarify my head so it will be easier to start tomorrow. 🌻 J

So true. This has played out in my life on many occasions. About ten or so years ago, my health started to rapidly deteriorate and at the same time, my mom had a stroke. I was terrified of turning out like her, so I started eating healthy, and over the next couple of years I lost about 100 pounds. I did become much more focused on being healthy over time, but it was sheer terror that got me started and motivated me to keep going. I joined several diet forums (this was before FB took over everyone’s groups) when I first started out, and after about 6 months, I got really good a predicting which new people would stick around and stay with whatever program they were doing; if they showed up wanting to lose weight for cosmetic reasons, they didn’t usually stick around, but the people who had intense health issues tended to stay around. Fear seemed to be a strong factor. I also have severe anxiety and I hate calling places for appointments or to fix problems. But recently I had a lab office send me a bill for something I’d already paid for, and the anger I felt totally overrode my anxiety. 😅 It was a huge relief to call someplace without feeling that pit of dread rushing through me. (Don’t worry, I was nice to the lady I talked to, but I also wasn’t about to let them charge me twice for a test they’d completely effed up.) I never thought about purposely tapping into the dark side of my motivation before. So, I really enjoyed this video. Thanks for all your helpful suggestions ❤☮️

I think I'm lucky enought to have many positive reasons (as of right now) to keep pushing: I want to be an athlete, I want my family to be happy and economically stable, I want to play competitive games, I want to know how it feels to put the same effort as the 'bests' there are. But a dark why that helped me was to think that I didn't have any initiative and confidence in myself to take past opportunities, and I won't allow myself to repeat those mistakes again. I know we all are going to make it, and this is a great way to show us that there's no fixed fuel to keep us moving! Thank you for sharing

“how is the worse thing that ever happened to you the best thing that ever happened to you” changed my life. thanks struthless, another banger.

I just love your style, man. The way you personify and illustrate concepts just makes it so unconfrontational even when addressing these heavy topics. Top notch work as always 🙏