It is true, you can still show up for your partner in a healthy loving manner and do small acts of kindness or acts to show them they are appreciated that don't go overboard and are not always raising the bar. Small actions can still be nice.

Hi Charlie, I do believe that for avoidants, anxious attachment style people can come off strong and for the avoidant, it can feel annoying or viewed as a red flag. I understand that point of view. While at the same time, I feel that the avoidant does not understand the value and emphasis that the anxious attachment style puts on communication. This is something very important to them (just as the avoidant wants to be listened to), the anxious person may want to have open communication or at the very least be able to go to their partner with things on their mind that they are facing personally.

Thank you, man. This definitely hit home hard. Got out of a situationship and I am still recovering. Taking a step at a time. Now I know this it has definitely helped me.

Each time i was hypervigilant about a partner's behavior, i was right. A change in pattern is a predictor. They cheated every single time. So while i hate being anxious sometimes, it hasnt steered me wrong. Thats the part that sucks.

Super grateful for your knowledge Charlie. 🙏

Just broke up with my gf of 4 years last week and this really helped me settle in as an Anxious attacher myself. Thank you!

So nicely explained thanks for sharing it remind me of me!

Thank you, keep going

Lets be real. Unhealed avoidants are very "high maintenance " at your expense . ❤