If you have ANXIOUS ATTACHMENT send this to your partner.

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If you have ANXIOUS ATTACHMENT send this to your partner.

Рет қаралды 140,331

Margarita Nazarenko

Күн бұрын

Пікірлер: 306

@Woopthereitis90 Жыл бұрын

This makes me so sad, as someone who leans anxiously attached… after many failed relationships and then finally marrying someone who leans avoidant (but is ultimately a great spouse) the only thing that has finally helped me improve is the realization that my behavior was utterly selfish. No one deserves the tyrannical demands of my “anxiety.” Watching this video further drives the point that anxiously attached people, if they choose to victimize themselves, create such a heavy burden on the people who love them.

@Yurmom8003 Жыл бұрын

I’m also anxiously attached and have recently realized this. I’m happy for you for doing to self work and having the self awareness to be better for your partner 👏 good luck to you both

@paulrichards2365 Жыл бұрын

Sounds familiar. Did we know each other? 🙃

@Imanshaybani Жыл бұрын

It’s not that simple. I hear you. And you’re not wrong. We should take responsibility for our own actions. But people help people. And partners who are better at feeling safe on their own can ultimately take these steps and eventually be a catalyst at shifting their partners into a more secure partner. My sister and her partner have achieved it. It’s not that easy but you just have to be willing to 1. Communicate 2. Do the work on your own 3. Get help from your partner as well.

@acd1168 Жыл бұрын

Is your husband self aware? Because when I hear avoidant, I’m like 😳

@dianaclark3254 Жыл бұрын

Me too!

@leilacarvalho409 Жыл бұрын

I’m no longer going to burden my man with this. I genuinely believe anxious and avoidants naturally attract because we have to learn from each other to become secure. You really attract your opposite. It’s crazy.

@katieloo833 Күн бұрын

Completely agree with this

@weremiuk 10 ай бұрын

For years me and my wife didn't know what's not clicking. We had enough wisdom not to split up for 16 years and now after a few years of therapy, we finally settle down in this warm togetherness. Knowledge is a king.

@bh6518 8 ай бұрын

Bravo 👏🏻

@sonaliduttamusicandart 6 ай бұрын

Finally a success story

@tuesdayitstuesday7999 2 күн бұрын

Warm togetherness sounds amazing

@noorz5113 Жыл бұрын

I have an anxious attachment style and it’s oh-so exhausting. I am sick of myself and my patterns. I wish I wasn’t like this, it’s hard to change but I’m actively trying. When I do have an anxious episode, I feel like I literally can’t breathe and the whole world is crashing down on me. I just recently came across your channel and you explain everything so perfectly, thank you.❤️

@housekeepah Жыл бұрын

It is crazy how its like some kind of latent virus, that can blossom (poor choice of words I know) if you get triggered. The anxiety can be extreme. Having strong experiences like this helped me because I could see that it really was something out of the ordinary, like a disease, and that it really stands out and if so, can be dealt with. I wish you all the best and may we all heal from this. I believe it can be done. Good luck ❤

@jayhoss7724 Жыл бұрын

Let me tell you I’m the worse of the worse with being anxious. I redirected all my energy to pleasing God. Knowing he’ll be there no matter what happens has changed my life. If your fed up trying everything else I promise you God is the answer. He gives you security and a freedom that’s amazing. Pray and read scripture. You have my word your life will change. May God help everyone that seeks him. 🙏🏼

@dachater1 Жыл бұрын

@@jayhoss7724thank you for sharing this. I experienced extreme anxiety after my partner left on a trip for a few days. I have no real reason to feel this way. At that moment God took my eyes to Isaiah 41:10 - which says “do not yield to fear….” But I really want the Lord to help me to overcome this because these experiences can be tormenting.

@jrwheeler81 Жыл бұрын

Yep, same here, my friend. My husband of 22 years passed away very suddenly almost 14 months ago and, for the past 5 months, I've been dating an incredible guy who I have fallen very hard for. The relationship has been going amazingly well, yet I still have CONSTANT anxiety and insecurity about the thought of him one day losing interest in me. He has NEVER given me any indication that this happening, in fact, quite the opposite. He has given me nothing but positive feedback about our relationship and keeps saying how much he loves our weekends spent together and how they go by WAY too fast. He has even introduced me to his best friend/business partner and he's now ready to meet my parents (something he actually brought up a few weeks ago). I just get SUPER anxious and almost into a state of extreme panic when he takes a while to text me back, which is SO stupid, because he has been ROCK SOLID in his communication/texting these entire 5 months and I KNOW that he ALWAYS texts me back as soon as he can. I really wish I could find a way to deal with this as it is EXHAUSTING!!!!!

@campnoutdoors1621 8 ай бұрын

People who are secure seem to always except infidelity. If being secure means that you forgo true love I'm not so sure I want it. Furthermore I fully believe that the anxious attached people have an extremely high perception. They can see where most of the world is unfaithful in heart, mind, and soul! This is the reality of the world! Another hard fact is that people who are avoidant have an extremely high rate of infidelity. It doesn't make the anxious person dumb when they question things it's simply a very high perception of what other people are thinking or planning.

@kate9653 Жыл бұрын

This. As someone with some anxiety, not terrible anxiety, but SOME. We tend to over think and when we share with our friends, you will hear “listen to your gut, listen to your intuition” and so on and so on. What a lot of people or more specifically our friends and family do not often understand, is that worrying due to anxiety and over thinking can often imitate our intuition and make us second guess our selves. The solution: stop talking about your relationship with people- friends and family- that cannot objectively look at the relationship. Because they will contribute in the destruction of your relationships by building up your anxiety like it is legit, when the intuition we should be looking at is that this is not our intuition at all but anxiety!

@kate9653 Жыл бұрын

This is not to say that intuition is not real, of course it can be. I am just making the point that with someone with anxiety, telling them to trust their gut- in my personal opinion is terrible. Why don’t we tell people to look at things logically. At the idea- what actual evidence do we have of this, is something triggering reminding of a past situation. Or have you seen actual evidence and if not then worrying constantly is doing no good and we have to just keep working on ourselves to develop new habits to divert our fixation from our relationship, and onto ourself. And making ourself better. And with consistency stop doing the things that are not helping but making worse.

@jayc342009 Жыл бұрын

Your comment is so true btw, many relationships fail because when asking friends and family they will always take your side and just suggest breaking up. I read somewhere that your relationships are more likely to fail if you discuss problems with friends and family INSTEAD of the person you're actually in a relationship with.

@nw5390 Жыл бұрын

This! This is my issue. I want to trust my gut and intuition, but can’t.

@rachellynnie Жыл бұрын

I even cant somehow trust my partner as well. It's really exhausting.

@mauricette6565 7 ай бұрын

Exact same here, and thanks to my mom for saying the truth to me, a man works different, traumas are different, but mostly im not loving myself enough thats making me feel like i need someone to be loved and exist, thanks for ur comment it actually reassured me, and also avoidant doesnt mean its toxic, it can work

@codingjourney1549 6 ай бұрын

I feel like I am such a burden with an anxious attachement style, I created so many conflicts when I got triggered, and in those moments I only threaten that I want to go away so I don't get hurt..

@mattbraga4033 Жыл бұрын

Damn this woman is spot on. Just as she said, as ridiculous as it sounds, disruption in daily flows can be a trigger and reassurance is huge.

@marysophy3665 Жыл бұрын

Everyone needs reassurance... And it is very important. I was never in a relationship with the man, but one thing I was tired of was not being reassured, and encouraged. Felt like no matter what I did (to make things happen), it wasn't enough or I wasn't good enough... I gave up. But on my part, I should have been different too. I was also complaining alot at the beginning... Which created a cycle. He felt like not doing enough, then he gave up and in the end I was the one who felt like I wasn't doing enough...

@levicodm1961 Жыл бұрын

@@marysophy3665 its diff trust me we need it like someone might need oxygen

@xWabbli Жыл бұрын

Yesss

@cmmontrose1469 10 ай бұрын

Thank you xx 1. Offer constant reassurance. 2. Prioritise consistency in attention. 3. Follow through with all commitments and promises. 4. Encourage learning about their attachment style.

@jayreyespr 3 ай бұрын

This is so important. I’ve always known my attachment style leaned towards anxious but my current relationship with a secure partner is the first time a mirror’s been held to my face to show me /how/ the anxious attachment manifests. I found out I make little jokes about both leaving or being left because I want to prepare myself for the “inevitability” of breaking up. Instead of turning it into a fight he just told me what that felt like and in turn it made me realize where it was coming from. Man. Childhood will really f you up, even if it wasn’t a sordid one.

@Yamilovesjesus 3 ай бұрын

I feel like many anxious people wish that others could love them through it. But thats also an anxiously attached thought. It’s sad but true

@iknowthatiknownot 29 күн бұрын

Yeah that's why her video on how to go from secure to attached is really good and also the video about things I wish I knew about men in my 20s

@iknowthatiknownot 29 күн бұрын

Attached to secure* 😂

@jayhoss7724 Жыл бұрын

Thank you for this.!!! ❤ I’m a male 48 years old and I’m finding out that I’m anxious attached. Me and my wife have been sitting down together to watch your videos. She’s avoidant. You have been dead on with everything you’ve said. Thank you for helping me not feel like I’m crazy and weak. Now I know the issue I have and now I can focus on what I need to do to fix it. I have switched my attachment to God first. Praying and faith has really helped me overcome this whirlwind that I sometimes experience. I’ve always looked to my wife for everything. Self worth mostly. I’m also seeing a Christian counselor to help. Thanks again.

@lisamaiden1892 9 ай бұрын

Same here! Finding God has helped me with this so much!

@zmiem9556 Жыл бұрын

Y'all. It can be changed ❤. I'm three weeks in fighting the dragon that is anxious attachment. I have been in therapy for two + months from religious trauma and through that, realized why I've became a person I didn't like. It snapped for me when I started researching co-dependency and then Margarita's video on anxious attachment popped up. I needed to see what I was doing as a dragon to realize it isn't me and it is no longer a part of me. Since learning about it, I have a strict meditation, self-affirmation and self-soothing schedule I keep to every day and I feel wayyy less needy and desperate. It can be changed and I'm so glad and so proud of the work I'm doing and I hope you are too. ❤❤❤. Thank you, Margarita for the way you address this topic.

@arusa7778 Жыл бұрын

Hey, can you Tell More About the Methods you use to help yourself?

@staciecook5217 Жыл бұрын

What is ur schedule? Snd what did u tell ur therapist to help ? Like u told them im here because i think im codependent? Im trying to understand this. Im having anxiety from this crap . Thnk u

@erin020alexandra Жыл бұрын

Can you please share your methods that are helping? And maybe update on your progress? Thank you in advance

@acd1168 Жыл бұрын

Yea I fixed it but it took going to therapy twice a week for 2 years. It was hell

@eddiefanning8818 Жыл бұрын

I'm finding it so helpful to do my own thing, have my own routine, and have my itinerary. This definitely helps the anxiety.

@carolynwebb8726 Жыл бұрын

I'm so glad Scarlett Johansen is doing therapy now!!!😊

@Margarita.Nazarenko Жыл бұрын

Lol

@emmalynrae592 Жыл бұрын

Love this video. I always used to think my anxiety was my intuition but it wasn’t. Now that I’ve begun healing my anxious attachment, I now see more love and more graciousness than I ever did before. Made me emotional because wow it’s like off the foggy glasses tainted by the past and actually seeing things how they are.

@rebeccassofa Жыл бұрын

I battle with this too!! Is it anxiety or intuition 🤔 I literally never know.

@ellenik7407 Жыл бұрын

Can totally relate to this!

@DaintyAbby Жыл бұрын

Oh. My. Goodness. The first sentence. Hit me hard. That was my revelation.

@dssoper Жыл бұрын

Amen amen and amen!! I truly thought it was my gut feeling aka intuition until just this second reading your comment. Wow!

@francescascalinci1087 Жыл бұрын

Omg thanks for saying it. I thought the same but now I'm realizing

@RealTalk-mq2ug Жыл бұрын

I need to get rid of all the clutter in my home, in my body, in my spirit, in my space, in my mind.

@Lubyforever1805 Жыл бұрын

As someone that has 50% of anxious attachment, this video has helped me to understand the kind of partner I should be looking for. I do not feel discouraged or think that I’m “too difficult” I just need to keep looking. Out there, there is someone who would know mind telling me that He loves me many times a day and that understands my background and understands what I’m coming from. I manifest that I will find that person ✨

@oksanaschul2400 Жыл бұрын

But why would you chose to manifest someone who is gonna cope with your 50% anxious attachment rather then manifest a secure attachment for yourself? You are still choosing to be in half way healthy relationship, rather then do your work and attract someone with secure attachment as well.

@JustLIkerapunzel Жыл бұрын

As Oksana said, you need to manifest that you can develop a secure attachment style. Otherwise you'll end up feeling attracted too "50%" avoidant personalities and youo will still trigger each other. Yes you can still work with an avoidant partner to overcome your attachment insecurities together, but it would for sure be better to aim to become secure yourself first and that is how you will actually attract someone who will be able to give you healthy love.

@JonasAnandaKristiansson Жыл бұрын

not about looking for the "perfect"/right "someone". It happens naturally by itself. One doesn't have to look and hunt for relationships. It comes naturally, when and if one is doing the inner work, which anyone that is not "secure" in this framework of attachment styles has to be responsible to do. No one is supposed to carry, take our "undealt with shit". Love, J

@MissFrogify Жыл бұрын

"Not everybody should leave. That's unrealistic." I find this to be very true. I have been seeing a person who displays many traits that resemble a dismissive avoidant. Whenever we get emotionally close, I can feel him pulling away. I have been advised not to get involved with him romantically which I agreed, but he is also my friend and I can't get him out of my life. Thank you so much for the insight.

@herdigidiary_ Жыл бұрын

I love how you u do not tell your audience outright to END the relationship but instead try every possible way to make things work. I am currently looking for the best way for an anxiously attached and avoidant-attached person to work and your contents are such an eye-opener. Now, I am currently working on how to be securely attached from being anxiously attached. Hope you continue making these types of vlogs.

@siennarae08 10 ай бұрын

Oh lord, im gonna be honest on this one. Ive suffered from anxious attachment throughout my whole life but did not come to realize what this was until my recent relarionship. Im with my man for almost 2 years now, and the attachment has proven to have grown worse. He's a wonderful partner and has done so much for me. But in my mind, i always fear.for the worst to happen in our future. And when we're not together my mind SPIRALS. i sound insane but im here being raw and truthful. Ive grown utterly attached to him to the point where i feel like i need to depend on him for everything; my emotions, how my mind works, my problems, etc. I genuinly deep down know in my heart this is unhealthy and that if i do continue this i will lose him and hes the best partner ive ever had.

@paxdvita Ай бұрын

I could have written this. I struggle with this exact same issue and it’s honestly so so difficult to break. Especially when you love this person more than anything and see how toxic you can be it almost makes it worse cause I’m already scared of losing him, then add being scared of losing him cause of my own traumas and anxious attachment it just makes me go crazy in my head. I try so hard to self soothe but most episodes feel impossible to control.

@MystiCali831 11 ай бұрын

#7 is so true and real that it made me cry. 😢 This is all anyone really wants - to be seen and witnessed. A perfectly reasonable request that does not need to be fixed or changed, simply honored by a caring human being.

@savithriramesh7168 Ай бұрын

I dont comment on videos but wow the Knowledge you have can literally save relationships. Im a lil bit anxiously attached and my partner is avoidant and the video "how to thrive with avoidants" made soooo much sense, at the end of the day we are all flawed beings. An avoidant person is also a good person, they dont deserve the hate they get.

@HarryStyles_01 Жыл бұрын

Now i understand why i used to feel triggered. My boyfriend used to just disappeared without telling me, making changes in plans without letting me know and going days without communication. I used to feel anxious and i felt of crying. I hope I'll change now.

@kassiakarras7536 Жыл бұрын

that’s rly hard harry styles

@stefs1155 Жыл бұрын

I’m avoidant watching this, but I’m doing the work to become secure.

@blambdh3828 Жыл бұрын

Me and my ex have these I’m an avoidant and she’s anxious I’m trying to fix our relationship I’ve made progress thankfully but learning how someone with her attachment will help me understand how to be there for her the right way! I’ve already told her I’m not going anywhere multiple times recently and I’m working on it

@candacecarter5864 Жыл бұрын

This made me cry. I am trying so so hard to change this about myself but it would be nice to find someone to love me through it 😢 this is me spot on….it hurts so much!

@angelielohim6147 10 ай бұрын

😢. You can do it. Believe in your self

@Euphoryaaa Жыл бұрын

@8:49 yes so true. My family life wasn’t even that bad. I believe my anxious attachment originated from the fact that I’ve always moved from place to place, new schools, new friends, new faces. Nobody ever seems to be permanent in my life. Everyone leaves eventually…or at least that’s what I’ve come to expect. When I find people I really like whether it’s a partner or friends I can become clingy to them when they show signs they might abandon me. I don’t need *constant* reassurance, it’s not /that/ serious. My ex and I went 2-3 days without talking sometimes and it didn’t set off my anxiety because I knew she’d always be there. (Keep in mind that she probably had an anxious attachment style too so the distance was also killing her)

@MaishPosh Жыл бұрын

I agree with her, I know I am this way and when she said if you told her you loved her this morning she may not believe it tonight, it resonated with me. When I was very young my mom completely changed her personality with me & stop showing her love. I didn’t understand it so when I would have partners i would freak out & assume they’d do the same thing & abandon me even when they were doing everything right so I would purposely avoid them to protect myself. I did date men who were just like her & it fueled my anxiety. You just have to find a guy who knows how and why you need constant reassurance and has no problem giving it to you. In due time that anxious attachment will fade.

@xxutauh0shinaxx Жыл бұрын

“they need to be seen.” those words made me cry 😭 thank you for this video. im working on a healthy attachment style. my ex broke up with me due to my attachment style so…

@fbbWaddell Жыл бұрын

I used to be fearful avoidant. Then, I healed and became secure. Then, I was repeatedly abandoned and several of my friends and family died in a short span of time and became anxious and have been ever since. Now, I realize that anxiety has been driving my behavior and I've learned to self soothe and patiently give space. It's hard because it has been more than a week since we talked but I'm hoping he will return my messages and we can talk about everything in an even kilter. Pray for me. I'm gonna need it.

@lalaurlalala 4 ай бұрын

How did it go

@maniya6830 Жыл бұрын

As someone who is an avoidant, I cannot agree more with the advice that is given here. Thank you for spreading this knowledge around.

@iladamayai5094 Жыл бұрын

This is how I lost everyone in my life. I wish I found this video just a few days earlier it would have saved me so much hurts . Thank you I'll use it next time 😊

@life_aftersobriety Жыл бұрын

The being held in that emotion is spot on! It truly moves mountains when someone can hold that space for you to feel things without shutting you down or deflecting. Couples therapy really helped my relationship in ways that we never could have without it, how to show up and co-regulate as well as asking the other partner to witness our pain without blaming them for it completely. Most of the time we show up as our inner child in present day conflict and anticipated betrayal, it takes real skill to hold yourself while also asking to be held. Creator knows I'm still working through that but I am more upfront about my internal battles with my partner and he is with me as well and it works for us, we are growing towards a more secure attachment, which is beautiful for our son to witness.

@sugardeep2636 Жыл бұрын

Margarita, you are truly so strong, comunicative, experienced, sharp and intelligent, I am very impressed and grateful that you have such an empathic and generous heart, I wish you all the best:**

@Margarita.Nazarenko Жыл бұрын

Wow, thank you

@angelinareid3419 11 ай бұрын

Before I even watched this video I knew it'd resonate with me and my boyfriend (we were just talking when I saved it to my list tho) and now after watching it its literally a solution to all of our problems 🥹 everything I've been telling him and myself. We have been way better since we actually made things official but I still think this video would benefit us tremendously.

@wavybump 7 ай бұрын

I played both sides of insecure growing up. first I was anxious sabotaging relationships, people pleasing, passive aggressive..(learned alot during this time) to learning the game in my early 20s, being manipulative, untrusting, selfish(worked hard to get there) Now in my 40s I'm harmonious, tactful and respectful.(worked hard to get here) there's always room for improvement, so I'm taking notes 📝

@diddymercs Жыл бұрын

This is me. I think I feel worse, I didn't realize how incredibly hard I must be to deal with. No wonder my "relationship" is going the way it is. I think it's time to back out of this, work on myself, and find a person who is willing to meet me somewhere in the middle... I dunno if I believe my "anxious attachment" is really a "fixable" issue.

@housekeepah Жыл бұрын

I see some people saying you can indeed move towards a more secure attachment. I think it can be done, but it probably requires hard work and dedication. While working on that, good communicating skills and an understanding partner can probably go a long way. Clearly communicating your feelings and needs without ”demanding” anything from your partner. It’s not on them to handle the anxiety and putting that burden on them can probably destroy a relationship. There are ways to communicate clearly that won’t put too much strain on the relationship, eg using ”I-messages”. When …objective event… I feel… because…

@gala2103 Жыл бұрын

Margarita, thank you so much for this video. Anxiously attached here, reading and studying a lot, but I've never felt so validated as I am rn. I'm crying bc you gave me comfort and hope. Looking up at your experience, will go on. God bless you.

@JustAshleyDanielle 7 ай бұрын

I’m currently working on my anxious attachment and respecting his boundaries and wishes for space but when the time is right I’ll send this to him.

@Soltice-ty2nf 6 ай бұрын

Two days listening to your videos and it has been a woke up . I lost a good man because of this . ❤😢

@GSXR750wx Жыл бұрын

I leaned heavily towards anxious attachment. It was a huge burden on me and the woman i loved. I literally couldn't breathe if i didn't see her. I've been working hard on myself. Meaning of love is curiosity, love yourself, and be curious about yourself. Go deep inside yourself and find the source of your anxiety, the trauma in your early life. Face it, face the truth, accept it. I was looking for her and I found myself and it is so beautiful. Now i can go weeks, months without seeing her but when we finally meet, it is so beautiful. She misses me but we are happy apart as she is avoidant (predictable!) It is OK. She helped me find myself and I love her even more now but the pain of separation is gone. Pain always signals trouble. I was loving her more than I loved myself. Self-preservation dictates that we love ourselves above anyone else. Loving someone more than yourself would lead to self-abandonement which would cause all inner parts to cry for attention resulting in pain. Love should not hurt. It should make you feel secure and brave. Pain means self-neglect

@georgewalker8437 Жыл бұрын

this resonates so much with me. broke up with her impulsively after two weeks of long distance, and realised it was all me and not her. i know i want to be with nobody else but her and i’m going to try and get her back, just figuring out when.

@doloreslu7190 Жыл бұрын

I am avoidant and my partner has an anxious attachment, yea I know , not easy, but we agreed to work on ourselves and work on our relationship, thank you for all your videos, finally I actually understand myself and him ❤

@luizaramonamunteanu9030 8 ай бұрын

Everyone needs to be seen. Non only the anxious attached.

@dashvang Жыл бұрын

These videos are very helpful and educational. I'm a person that used to be anxiously attached and figured out later on that my partner was avoidant-- it took a lot in me to be secure and part of the reason I am now is because of your videos so thank you so much! Love your content

@saumyapathak5899 Жыл бұрын

How long did it take you to recover?

@dashvang Жыл бұрын

@@saumyapathak5899 It took me about half a year to even realize I was anxiously attached. Deep down I knew I had something and even looking into it I did not take action sooner for the concern of my behaviors. As for recovery, time can't really tell honestly. One day I just started my journey and the next I realized I was okay. Its a process of grieve and growth really-- choosing to take action was the best choice I have ever made. (I just saw this comment so I apologize for not replying sooner}. Wishing everyone the best on their journeys.

@paulrichards2365 Жыл бұрын

I can relate to all of this. And at this stage in my life it is SO MUCH NICER to be single.

@Sandra-wm4cj Жыл бұрын

This made me feel so seen. I wish I could have sent this to my ex while we were together. Thank you for your compassion. It’s so soothing as an anxious/disorganized to hear you speak my soul.

@beckye8799 10 ай бұрын

I had 5 children believed my role was to be a mom and wife (SAHM) forever. I sacrificed a healthy life for me, for them. When they grew up & left home I had to go to work, & it was difficult. I was no longer needed the same. Menopause came like a storm, my hormones and life changes (spouses medical emerg) tossed me into severe anxious attachment. Now I am learning to focus on building ME & what I want & love.

@jg4624 7 ай бұрын

Good luck 🙌

@99Psyc Жыл бұрын

Can you do a video on secure attachment turns into anxious attachment due to trust issue and how we can go back to being securely attached again?

@abigailhayes7910 Жыл бұрын

I also found the video about the avoidant partner super helpful. if someone has made the choice to date an avoidant person, you love them and so on, of course both sides can work on healing

@gabrielaperesta Жыл бұрын

You are an incredibly wise and mature woman who has clearly learnt a great deal from her life experiences. Thank you for your videos.

@jhlfsc 10 ай бұрын

There is at least one person whose attachment style is dismissive avoidant (God I hate how pompous that term sounds) who is listening and I would imagine there are others as well. After many years of truly just wanting to do right by the person I love but always being blindsided in the process, I now know that I am faaar from being securely attached. We (D.A.'s) will come to listen not even because we think it will help us, but because it could potentially be the key to helping our anxious partners who we actually do LOVE with all our hearts despite all our words and actions that seem to convey otherwise to them. This is brilliantly helpful. Thank you!

@JodyDube Жыл бұрын

I used to become anxiously attached as well and over time ( many years), learned to step back and trust rather than worry about stuff I had no need to become alarmed & rattled by. Margarita, your explanations are so very clear and stated plainly, but kindly. I wish I got myself together long ago. Some mighty good relationships might've had a better chance to flourish. If you had been around then, sharing this excellent wisdom and insight it'd have made a real difference for me. I hope your videos are reaching lots of people going through this right now. Thank you and bless you! Much admiration & respect to you.

@ashleytse3636 Жыл бұрын

Hi Margarita, your videos on anxious and avoidant attachments are perfect! I’ve learned so much about myself through watching this video. I’m anxiously attached and this guy that I’ve been seeing is super avoidant. We both know there’s a strong connection between us. I’ve been working on becoming more secure and videos like yours have been showing me why it’s worth it to keep doing the work. I don’t want to push him away because I like him a lot. Please keep making videos like this-maybe a video focusing on the direct causes of an avoidant attachment style? I just want to understand my partner as deeply as I can. You’re gorgeous, by the way! Thank you and God bless. xx

@stefg7611 Жыл бұрын

Understanding yourself and healing your inner wounds by learning absolutely everything you need in order to be secure enough to be able to understand your partner at all in the first place is absolutely EVERYTHING IN ORDER FOR YOUR HARD WORK TO PAY OFF. HE WILL FEEL you leaning into him more by doing this... Which will happen to become even more avoidant. This energy off of him and put the mindset onto you yourself. He goes so that and feel safe to come to you in his time. I wasn't anxious as well. I promise, remove the focus off of him and directed towards yourself how you're going to see change God bless you

@tressan931 Жыл бұрын

Thank you. I have a great husband that I have been berating and pushing away. I’ve been making him responsible for my insecurities and I see how that’s not fair and it does the opposite of what I actually want which is just to feel loved and lovable.

@elizabethcaldwell7268 9 ай бұрын

I literally just sent this video to my partner. You’ve helped me! So I hope it sheds some light for him,& help our relationship

@noairbag1 Жыл бұрын

Your mental awareness is amazing. Thank you for sharing your knowledge.

@auroreaurore1081 Жыл бұрын

I guess, as an anxiously attached person in her healing process, I can apply all those advices to myself too. Great video again, thank you

@rylinmcgee1538 Жыл бұрын

That color looks so great on you!!

@tarteauxframboises Жыл бұрын

I have an avoidant attachment, but my partner has an anxious attachment style, and i want to make sure i don't hurt him as i am working through my trauma while we are together.

@Canishac0110 7 ай бұрын

I’m an avoidant. Got it confirmed by a therapist. I’m watching this because of the person I’m dating vocalizing my issues and tired of constantly arguing. Being told every other day of how much I don’t care when that further from the truth

@andreatorluemke4982 Жыл бұрын

“I know it may seem that I don’t want to hear it but I do and I’m here for it!” Priceless! Gold. ❤❤❤. Hugs dear girl. For saying this in such an emotionally grounded and rooted way. Ooahh angel Ooahh.

@bassknightplays 4 ай бұрын

I sent her this video and I am praying to the Lord she would understand and be willing to learn about these attachment styles I love her so much and I don’t want my anxiety to be the cause of my relationship getting ruined. Ik she loves me but my anxiety has been behind every conflict we had and her avoidant behaviour in response to this hurts more than I could express in any human language and me trying to communicate with her seems scary since I don’t want to cause even more problems and I hope this would help and encourage her to work with me

@loordashishjoseph2867 Ай бұрын

Any change in her?

@darkcloudsilverglint4552 Жыл бұрын

Anxiously attach : forget about what you do, what you want, your friends, family, work and specifically success because they love you and they need you.

@elizabethcaldwell7268 9 ай бұрын

I love these videos! I’m anxious attached type. My partner is you guessed it.. the avoidant!

@sonaliduttamusicandart 6 ай бұрын

I replayed the timeline from 14:30 probably 5 times and cried almost each time. I am anxiously attached (recently known) Want to be a success story with my partner whom i have been in love with for the past 5 months. Please bless us 🙏🏻

@tahliatribe5074 4 ай бұрын

I am avoidant & my partner is emotional and I find this all so helpful! I find the worst thing I can do is turn away from him as he gets even more "needy" ( I coined him as that before I learnt all about attachment theories) & in turn he spirals into this worried hole of anxiousness thinking I am going to leave him. We also have endless arguments and discussions about him feeling like I am not attracted to him & me feeling smothered. I am so determined to get us to a better place though! So is he.

@PeanutHakeemAnafuWashington Жыл бұрын

"Your partner just wants to be witnesses." Yesssssss. Man, that part REALLY hit 😔😔

@Kareena1988 Жыл бұрын

Please make a video on fearful-avoidant/disorganized attachment and cptsd.

@ariluvschoco143 Жыл бұрын

I love your feminine energy content 🤍🤍 Please continue

@devincristopher3 Жыл бұрын

love your green shirt💚

@luzvez Жыл бұрын

The last part being anxiously attached or triggered doesn’t give ANYONE the pass to disrespect you.

@bayanb1926 Жыл бұрын

Never thought I’d say this (about the color itself) but the color of your shirt suits and complements you SO well! 👏

@allaboardthegravytrain5987 Жыл бұрын

Thanks for saving my relationship. I have bad episodes of anxiety and jealousy around my period days. Recently it was very bad and we almost broke up. I just kept thinking what if you were right, what If he wasn’t planning to hurt me? Then all that worry was just for nothing. I need to remember this more often.

@hermesgirl0015 Жыл бұрын

Watching this really help me understand my avoidant partner.

@piejuana Жыл бұрын

I cried the whole video... Cuz you definatelt described me to a T (as the anxiously attached partner)... Thanks for putting words and hope to go through that condition ❤....Ouff! Time to heal that lil girl inside

@beckye8799 10 ай бұрын

It took my husband of 30 years to call it out, I was not aware that my behavior was destroying me…and it was!

@vivv1667 Жыл бұрын

Great video, very informative and I'm watching marathon watching all your videos, they answer a lot of questions! A guiding light, in a way! Please also consider doing a video on how to end people pleasing with your family/friends/partner, and how to truly put yourself first but without being narcissistic and too selfish, and without guilt. What does it mean truly to love yourself? Looking forward to your insight! Thank you

@jesusishere9682 Жыл бұрын

He abused me verbally, mentally, and physically 😭 💔 and l still loved him. Borderline abuser. I left him yesterday and the pain and attachment is to much. This is so me omg 😰 you opened my eyes dear

@catttoooo9727 Жыл бұрын

Honestly I love your content. It really gives me a different perspective from how I see things but not in a invalidating or cynical way. As a highly anxious attached person I feel sometimes I’m passed being healthy. Growing up was hard time for me and your videos gave me a lot of clarity as to why I could be this way. The healing is hard but I will refer to your videos thank you for guidance and clarity 😣

@aurelienyonrac 8 ай бұрын

They want to be seen. 😢 Waw that breaks my heart. You know. Anxious and avoidant both want to bee seen. This is soooo intresting I am the guy 👦

@katieloo833 Күн бұрын

Thing is, anxious usually attracts an avoidant. Probably most anxious attachment peeps will be with an avoidant all their lives. So I don’t think it’s a case of ‘oh just leave’ because that means an anxious attachment dude will always be alone, and that’s not what we want. I think really, both need to acknowledge their issues and work at communication.

@malindateal14 Жыл бұрын

I love your videos I was dating a gentleman like this and it's been very difficult. There's no contact between us at this point but he's in a lot of pain and it makes me anxious so I'm trying to fix myself first

@samantharuebel8932 Жыл бұрын

I just hate that it's too late for me learning this now. My anxious attachment and my husband's avoidant attachment made our lives miserable. He stopped loving me a long time ago and our divorce is almost final. It kills me, as bad as we were, I can't help but still love him and want to be with him. I hope that at the very least, by learning about attachment styles, trauma bonding, enmeshment, etc that I can finally heal from my past and learn to become more secure.

@RobinChoux Жыл бұрын

I'm crying so much. I didn't know this was a thing and there were number of things that can calm me.... I wish somebody would be able to do the things you are listing in this video..

@jasminet3419 Жыл бұрын

Frick number 7 is spot on... Yes this is the #1 thing that I crave. I just want to be seen and understood.

@IndianaDoug Жыл бұрын

New subscriber. I’m really into this channel right now

@hylke88 Жыл бұрын

thank you for uploading this video, it made much clear for me what i have been going thru the last 2 years of my relationship. My partner seems to be anxious attached and i were the avoidant attached. Really sad part is that i have had therapy and tried to help my partner cope with the anxiousness as you describe with open comunication. Turned into many discussions zero understanding towards one and another and in the end she cheated on me. I shall take all the advise from your video's and use them when i am again in a relationship. thank you ❤

@kayemm2188 Жыл бұрын

where have you been all my life 😊i understand so much about myself now and why i am the way i am .

@virginiaperge8207 8 ай бұрын

Anxiously Attachment, i am trying to become Secure, I am married to an Avoidant ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

@Yamilovesjesus 3 ай бұрын

I wish I could’ve sent this to him before I broke up with him. I couldn’t take it. My anxious attachment was eating me a live. I felt like he was going to leave me

@JennAlessa Жыл бұрын

I feel I might have a disorganized attachment style as I'm -now- aware how deeply I need the connection but, at the same time, freeze when I get (from unknow sources or at moments when I'm not searching for it). I see parts of myself in this video as I saw other parts in the avoidant video but I do feel I lean more to this anxious side. When you said we just want to be witnessed I just cried. That hit home so hard I couldn't manage. I'm truly trying to change, doing research, searching for help, opening to friends, etc.; but is still hard at times and I feel so damn lonely sometimes that I just want to go away very far away and not turning back.

@kalpanapalanikumar3362 Жыл бұрын

You are mind blowing❤the way you speak and how you explain this helps me a lot

@tara7206 Жыл бұрын

Your style of sharing this content is just right. More of this please

@melilotus Жыл бұрын

Thank you for your great videos, I hope that they will reach much, much bigger audience, because they are really necessary, and you convey this important topic in such a good manner.

@Margarita.Nazarenko Жыл бұрын

I hope so too!

@nessapalmer5316 Жыл бұрын

Thank you for what you said about loving and overcoming an avoidant. I am healing from anxious attachment and I love an avoidant. Just like I want him to understand me and accept me I need to understand and accept him. So appreciate that you talk about how to overcome instead of just dumping them. Basically don't stay if you don't want to but if you choose to stay it is so helpful to have tips.

@ozlembilgen2170 Жыл бұрын

I love these videos! Thank you for making them ❤

@Margarita.Nazarenko Жыл бұрын

Glad you like them!

@Jadecatz Жыл бұрын

I’m both. I’m disorganized.

@mone2392 Жыл бұрын

You are an amazing woman, I love your videos! This video helped me understand what I should do for my partner and also gave me perspective on some of my insecurities. Really helpful and interesting. Thank you for this.

@shreyapillay379 Жыл бұрын

You’re like the elder sister I always wanted 💗

@bajkerjohnvolta 8 ай бұрын

Very well told. From this videos is seen that u really went trought this attachment style. Like you said reasuring is the key and eventually over time less and less reasurance is needed to fell safe.