How I stopped people-pleasing & set healthy boundaries 🌱

Рет қаралды 33,920

3 ай бұрын

When we are young and basically a blank slate, it’s easy to just let life “happen to us”.
Setting healthy boundaries & living for ourselves isn’t about privileging the self. It’s about giving our own needs equal weight, considering them alongside the needs of others, and finding a sensible compromise when in conflict - or, sometimes, even just standing firm.
📍 Shot in Bali, Indonesia where we live
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Пікірлер: 170

@PutSumDirtInYaEye 3 ай бұрын

Showing more compassion and kindness to yourself actually teaches others by example to love themselves more

@JeanVoronkova 3 ай бұрын

I agree! People can draw courage from what they see others doing in real life 🤭🤗

@Tenjiecorner 3 ай бұрын

I’m a single male turning 40 in June. My job title is bellman at a hotel I’ve been working in this department for a few years and people keep asking me why I don’t apply for the front desk. My answer is i work smarter not harder lol. Even though I get paid less than the desk I am stress free and get tips by just storing bags. I’m retiring from full time to part time next year

@wrfootball3847 3 ай бұрын

Yes me and my girlfriends approach is 2 steps (but not easy). Cut your costs and invest your money well (to get passive income). That's the summary. If you don't have 2 cars, huge mortgages, pets, boats and tons of kids then one can afford to work 2 days a week in some situations. Educate yourself on investing and that's the mix you need, in my opinion. I gave up my project management job, now a lifeguard 2 days a week and I now get time to write a book! A balance of money, health and time. If you have those 3 things, that's a more realistic version of rich!

@ratnoinamaew7822 3 ай бұрын

My favorite word to other people is "No"

@shapeoftimes 3 ай бұрын

This is wonderful. I am now in my early 50s and just realized a couple years back that my whole life I was just a people pleaser. I am just now learning to love myself and trying to find out who I am.

@angelo8424 3 ай бұрын

Your videos are so peaceful and inspirational- Thank you.

@JeanVoronkova 3 ай бұрын

Thank you for listening 🙏🤗

@unsaltedbeurre3411 3 ай бұрын

Couldn't agree more. I'm lucky in a sense that I decided to live for myself and set my boundaries in my early 20s. I've been called selfish, ungrateful, stubborn, etc. by Asian standards, but I decided to stick with my plan to live the way I want and I'm so glad that I did. I saw a quote today and it says something like "Don't change so people will like you. Be yourself and the right people will love you". This has proven true to me so far :). Looks like you got a new puppy! Congratulations! So cute!

@JeanVoronkova 3 ай бұрын

Hey u! 😍🤗 love that quote, it’s hard to do that when we r young but it’s so true actually. Anyway glad that im not young anymore (lol!) and can’t be bothered to put on masks anymore 🤭 I did get a new baby boy!! His name is Bobbi and he’s AMAZING 😍😍😍 we r so in love, and Pam Pam loves him too! (I was worried she’ll be jealous but turns out she kinda thinks he’s her baby…. 🤣) he’s so sweet! Although he also chewed up my eye glasses 🤣😍 but we still love him!

@unsaltedbeurre3411 3 ай бұрын

I can see why you guys are in love with Bobbi. He looks so adorable! Hope to see him more in your future videos! BTW. I think you're very good at painting! @@JeanVoronkova

@mitchsantell8916 3 ай бұрын

In 2007 I moved to New Zealand where I lived with my wife (37+ years) and my two youngest daughters. We moved 11 times and it was an amazing journey. I was never the same person when I moved back to California. I'd humbly suggest that if you can simplify your life, you'll live your best life. I'm alone a lot now but I am not lonely. Beautiful Video, thank you. 😀

@edfast5893 3 ай бұрын

New Zealand is Great isn’t it!

@JeanVoronkova 3 ай бұрын

Ooh long journey from Cali to NZ and then back ✨ simple but wonderful life, alone but not lonely 😍🌱 love the sentiments, thank you so much for sharing 🙏🤗

@williambillyshears9129 3 ай бұрын

@@edfast5893 New Zealand is fantastic and since the plandemic, I wouldn't move there now. Many old friends there have told me that during the 5 1/2 years I lives there, it was the last "golden era," of Kiwi land. I'm grateful that I was able to go when I did!!!

@edfast5893 3 ай бұрын

@@williambillyshears9129 Nice! Yes it has changed a little, but it still has so much going for it and the people are great. It’s not cheap, it’s not sophisticated and it definitely is not busy. 😊

@andreflavell3453 3 ай бұрын

you have a beautiful way with words and in this loud self serving world you are appreciated

@hotncoolapps3450 3 ай бұрын

It's called good resonance or not. When the vibes (place, environment, activity, person) resonate with us, we feel peace, joy, kindness, love, laughter, etc.

@wrfootball3847 3 ай бұрын

Exactly, if you are stressed it's not about fixing the person....it's about fixing the environment! Go to a nice environment that suits you. Just like a plant that suffers in a bad environment, it needs good sun and water!

@unknownbintang 3 ай бұрын

Beautiful video. I'm from New Zealand and live in Bali with my Indonesian wife and our newborn son. We're still 27 and 31. Your video has given the groundwork for extra thought towards our relationship moving forward. Peace and Love

@ShaiBB. 3 ай бұрын

Hi Jean! Your content helps me expand my philosophical perspectives. I've always struggled w people pleasing as i thought it would be the only way i would be accepted by the people around me. Hopefully i'll find my tribe one day! Blessings ❤

@JeanVoronkova 3 ай бұрын

Hi Shai, thanks for this kind note. I do think this is smtg majority of us go through as we r growing up, but hopefully with more life experience we develop into our own unique personalities n also find the courage to be open about who we r and like you say, find our tribes 😍🤩 you will, I’m sure. All the best 🌱

@marjorielicup7514 3 ай бұрын

Being with nature is loving myself, the sound of nature is the language that tunes myself. Love your videos... Resonates a lot to me... Thank you 😊

@nikosniko7092 3 ай бұрын

I love her insight! She has been a lifesaver…. Cheers

@vanhalen45 3 ай бұрын

Wow. Deep sense of reflection and intuition. Very touching narrative and recollection of childhood. Wonderful telling of the growth and rebuilding of self.

@jimstowell1166 3 ай бұрын

My gosh, thank you for this latest video. " Freedom is the letting go of the need to be approved by others."!! What wiser words have been spoken. "Who am I" at 75 at the edge of retirement"? The question scares me....Thank goodness there your are for some guidance.

@ljkoh20052000able 3 ай бұрын

I love these videos . Its so natural and authentically you. Even if it portrays much psychology and teachings on therapy. Its brought to others with the simplicity and reality everyone can understand

@JeanVoronkova 3 ай бұрын

Thank you Lj 🌱✨

@desmonddass764 3 ай бұрын

Nicely said. All of us have to find our true selves. Sometimes it's early , sometimes it's later.

@desmonddass764 2 ай бұрын

@To-DM-JeanVoronkova hi Jean , Apologies , I don't have a telegram account .

@sonminorimitsuu2838 2 сағат бұрын

Jean, I can't thank you enough for putting all these videos together, they bring me so much joy...Are you still living in Bali?

@clarissahallowell5436 3 ай бұрын

Thank you for reminding me that my authentic self is always waiting for me in the quiet places. ❤

@lizzie7929 3 ай бұрын

Love your enlightening and inspiring video! Just being and breathing, is enough!🙏☁️🤲🌺🍃🌱And enjoying every moment, good or bad! Being in the moment! Sometimes, that is the richness in life! Watching the sky or watching the 🐦 birds! I’m trying to live within my means, being content and not creating anxiety or wanting more as it never stops! Need to be happy now, not when the next is on or with a materialistic item, such as the next car or a luxury bag! I’m just trying to be happy with the simple things! Not wanting more, but just being content! I want a car that is inexpensive, safe and that gets from A to B, or not even one! I don’t want a flash life! Just a simple house and simple things!😮‍💨🧘🏼‍♀️☯️

@christianscheid1791 2 ай бұрын

As a chronic 'approval seeker' this video was a much needed inspiration. I especially loved your wise insight that in order to set healthy boundaries you need to know who you are. So true. Thanks for this beautiful video!

@dominichill1492 3 ай бұрын

Jean I'm so happy that you stop trying to please other people in your life, because in the end, must of these people are not worth trying to please. Thank you for the wonderful video Jean sweetheart.

@MeditationMeg 3 ай бұрын

Beautiful video, Jean! Thank you for sharing a much needed perspective. Distance is so needed and freedom to be and express ourselves= priceless!

@tp.k6195 Ай бұрын

Despite having an internal compass, I struggle with this. Thank you for this, it helps put many things in perspective. To know myself and to be confident of myself, this is the lesson reiterated to me. Thank you again. ❣

@margarettownsley9500 3 ай бұрын

Thank you jean for another beautiful meaningful video I appreciate your wisdom

@la_elvie 2 ай бұрын

You are worth listening to, Miss Jean. Thank you for this valuable & grounding video. 🤎

@nastja_littau 3 ай бұрын

Thank you 🙏🏼 I can relate to every word you said. Finding your own way is so worth it and rewarding! ❤

@JeanVoronkova 3 ай бұрын

Thank you for listening Nastja 😍

@hawkhead-band6110 3 ай бұрын

What a beautiful and wise video, thank you.

@user-nq3xg6wz5y 3 ай бұрын

Hi....caught one of your videos many years ago...and today I chanced upon it again and at a timely period. And it kinda nailed it for me as I'm in the midst of a trying career conundrum phase. Age is not my side but I need to start 'living' for me. Thank you for sharing. I miss Bali. Take care. Cheers

@robertmcgregor8144 3 ай бұрын

A beautiful video. I look forward to these videos every week. If I may suggest, the font is a little small. I don’t know, what do others think? Thanks so much anyway.

@puns01 3 ай бұрын

Jean - you are like the older sister I never had. Always peaceful listening to your message and inspiring me to live the life I was meant to live. A mentor I was always subconsciously looking for

@MiaStayingCreative Ай бұрын

That is the cutest puppy I’ve ever seen 😍😍😍😍😍 and what a BEAUTIFUL video and beautiful message. I’m a recovering “codependent” so I needed this message today- THANK YOU! :)

@zacindabox3481 3 ай бұрын

I love her message! Great camera work, too. You can tell she loves what she does. Sending you love and all the blessings, Jean! ❤

@edfast5893 3 ай бұрын

Another great one. I do miss the weekly episodes

@yuuuri9535 3 ай бұрын

I am in hte process of setting and practicing my own boundaries. We had to learn the hard way before realizing it. I am excited to learn more about myself and the to know more people that will like me for who I am. Sending love to everyone! 💗✨

@sthembisotshabalala2707 3 ай бұрын

Thank you ❤

@JeanVoronkova 3 ай бұрын

I’m glad if it brought a little something to you 🙏🤓

@katvadee 2 ай бұрын

I m 34 and wanted to live my life as what i want but my parent is completely disagreed. I worked for 10 yrs but i still cant adjust myself with 9-5 job and inners keep telling me this is not what i should drag and slaughter myself in every single day . Thanks so much for your video, i gonna watch everyone of them :).

@johnswann7670 Ай бұрын

I think you could consider articulating your values in a book. Many people will recognize something they have forgotten, and need to be re-minded of Thank you for sharing john

@rajashanmugam2480 3 ай бұрын

Hi Jean,tks for sharing your wisdom and I have been through my share of unhappiness by being kind towards others and in the end I go.through unhappiness.

@SuiGenerisAbbie 3 ай бұрын

Your voice overs are so soothing, Jean. 😊

@user-kc9io2dr5x 3 ай бұрын

Always looking forward to your post . Thanks for sharing . 😊

@user-jd7wx6rz3c 3 ай бұрын

I’m really enjoying your channel. Without giving away exactly where your particular piece of paradise is, could you do a video on the parts of Bali that still have access to basic amenities but are more tranquil places to live, away from the main tourist hubs?

@tinylions 3 ай бұрын

This has been my favorite videos of yours yet. Thank you for sharing, as I’ve been working on my boundary setting as well lately.

@martinatravers330 3 ай бұрын

I love your videos Jean. Thank you. ❤

@kinga_soul 3 ай бұрын

Awesome and calm video 🌱

@jasonjason1196 3 ай бұрын

Love your videos Sis, always give a very peaceful feeling watching them 🙏❤️🙏

@Kwak_kun 3 ай бұрын

Oh, you've settled in Bali now, congratulations!

@lindseyaliceford Ай бұрын

I am so glad I found your channel!

@happytobehere1111 3 ай бұрын

This video footage is really fantastic!

@jamalgreen3056 3 ай бұрын

Thankyou for the helpful advice Jean.

@AverageAngel 3 ай бұрын

This was an interesting video - still not sure how I came to find your channel at first but I am glad I did. Some things to think about for sure!

@floccinaucinihilipilifications 3 ай бұрын

You’re videos are one of my favorite things about Saturday mornings. You do not suck at painting! Lol. You would love (I promise) Rick Rubin’s excellent book “The Creative Act.” (On Audible). Thank you! 💚 You’re living many aspects of it now…

@AAAA-vu7fp 2 ай бұрын

Your videos are truly amazing and I think exactly same as you do. Thank you very inspirational

@sanjaypatel14 3 ай бұрын

Beautiful video and message Jean, thank you for sharing your voice and experience. I resonate with a lot of what you said. Appreciate you 🙏

@raymondwilliams7638 3 ай бұрын

Thank you for the insightful truths! Beautiful 😃❤🙏✌

@Alexacapetown 3 ай бұрын

Your paintings are beautiful, I love them ❤ you don't suck at all!

@rvbalihomes 2 ай бұрын

Thanks for sharing! 🙏🙏

@nancylord2241 3 ай бұрын

This is one of your very best videos! So many important lessons and wonderful life advice to ponder here. Thank you for such a beautiful and encouraging video!❤️

@amndadobson300 3 ай бұрын

Your videos speak life into me… always such a pleasure ❤️❤️ blessings from Cornwall, UK

@cocodjones818 3 ай бұрын

Thank you for your videos with the important messages. I FEEL THE EXACT SAME WAY, SO THANK YOU. I am a new subscriber and have watched 2 videos so far....my goodness, this is soooooo many of us. Thank YOU for being honest, raw, caring and understanding. You have created such a safe and healthy space💜

@Iuliiarud 2 ай бұрын

Thank you so much❤

@michelle85br 2 ай бұрын

❤ Thank you ❤️What a beautiful message

@nikolinavrhovski160 3 ай бұрын

You are wonderful. Thank you for sharing your excperiance 🙂 I agree to everything you just have said. We deserve to be kind to ourselves

@AmareAmable 3 ай бұрын

Thank you for your wisdom another great video

@rinilestari7319 3 ай бұрын

Exactly as I thought Jean... you are so lucky to be able to realize and choose the path of life you want since you were young... I often thought about this but didn't dare to make a decision for myself until now, still bound to live serving others, for my family, putting aside whatever I wanted for their sake, because when they are happy, somehow I am also happy.

@wiesjamsudin4708 3 ай бұрын

Tq.. For capturing bali... In your way... Love to watch your every video...

@High.Vibe.Living 3 ай бұрын

Its great to see so many awakening to this knowledge. That a lot of parents, in their best intentions of raising us... didnt know exactly what was best for us, or understand that we are our own people with our own strengths, weaknesses, tastes and dislikes. And at the end of the day, our parents are non perfect fallable humans like anyone else. So we have the responsibility to listen to our OWN soul & inner voice, in which, the formless Creator Lord of the universe, speaks to us and gives us spiritual downloads, and reveals what to do NEXT in our life and what is best for US.

@gtbpiano 2 ай бұрын

Inspiring story and beautiful place!

@Ladybug1440 3 ай бұрын

I adore your messages and your channel🙏🏽🥹♥️ bless you

@timothiusmichael3791 2 ай бұрын

Thank you for sharing, meaningful and inspiring.

@Kizz217 3 ай бұрын

I’ve been a fan of your channel since 2 weeks ago if I could describe your videos it’s like meditation 💯

@JeanVoronkova 3 ай бұрын

Thank you, I really appreciate that ✨🌱

@agusgunawan6200 3 ай бұрын

inspiring and well said, thank you Jean for sharing

@JeanVoronkova 3 ай бұрын

Thanks for listening Agus 🤗🌱

@CharleneSomers 3 ай бұрын

Loved your words of wisdom and your message. Your voice is soooo soothing I could listen to you all week long! I tend to apply what you are trying to teach us.. Thank you so much...

@Mindfulreminder 3 ай бұрын

Thank you Jean for spreading this beautiful message ❤ I am a fellow Singaporean here

@dennisp.945 3 ай бұрын

Love your channel 🙏❤️

@JeanVoronkova 3 ай бұрын

Thank you Dennis 🌱✨

@jennifersmallwood 3 ай бұрын

Thank you for this reminder of the importance of getting to know yourself. I still struggle with questions like: what makes me truely happy? What is it I love the most? When I watch birds, animals, THAT´s when I am truely happy. But other than that? I am sure I will one day find the answer to this question. Until then, I keep listening to you a little bit longer I suppose.

@elisabetydman360 12 күн бұрын

Thank you so much for this video! So calming and informative and just great. I love that you talked about having a good childhood. Usually when I read about people-pleasing it comes down to having an unsafe childhood. Like you, I haven't felt that way. I had a loving childhood, but yeah, here I am at 30 being a hard-core people-pleaser. I have just started to come to terms with it, and I have been feeling so bad, so much anxiety. Your video brings me so much joy and hope. Thank you

@JeanVoronkova 10 күн бұрын

thanks elisabet for this kind note. We can all slowly work on our boundaries. Consciousness is already a big step forwards :)

@Starting_the_Arting 3 ай бұрын

you're awesome!

@selwahasan 3 ай бұрын

Hi Jean! I hope you are well ❤ I enjoy your videos and listening to your voice. You have changed my outlook on life and I will forever be grateful. Thank you for these videos and thank you for just simply being YOU ❤ sending you love and light 🤗✨

@christinaagungintan3536 3 ай бұрын

Love your videos

@sonjadyason8802 3 ай бұрын

I love the peacefulness your videos emit 🤍🤍🤍 And your puppy is a cuteness overload 😍😍😍 If I may ask, in which area are you coz it doesn't seem to be near the crazy busy rest of Bali? I'm looking at moving back to Bali & was thinking Uluwatu coz it's much quieter there.

@TravelingAna 3 ай бұрын

I love your videos ❤

@DezMedia78 3 ай бұрын

I have just been laid off and is currently in my 2nd week of being jobless. I found your channel just before I got laid off and have been wondering if I can have a life like yours. I'm reaching 50 in a few years and I'm in that stage of "Mid Life Crisis". I have always wanted to retire in Thailand, maybe now its a good time for me to seriously explore that direction.

@GLifemine 3 ай бұрын

OMG u r sooo refreshing to listen to! Such a beautiful soul. Couldn't agree with u more ❤️. Living in this "rat race" for material things doesn't = happiness. The world needs to slow down.

@elsienorback7689 3 ай бұрын

I really like your thought provoking vlogs. I can see where you are coming from though. When attending the Uni, I chose a degree I wasn’t sure I wanted to get into: Secondary Education. I continued my education path because my family expected me to graduate and get a job in that career. I did just that and was really miserable because it wasn’t a good fit for me. After 3 years of teaching I quit the job and continued down the path I had chose years before and that’s Wildland firefighter, or What Australian’s call bush firefighter. Most ppl don’t understand what a Wildland firefighter is, but they understand what a bush firefighting is. Now I am getting close to retirement, I wouldn’t change anything because it developed me into who I am today. There are a lot of stories behind every decision but that’s my story to tell at a later date and time.

@mhopi9744 2 ай бұрын

Sweet n authentic ❤❤

@sukayahramli4343 3 ай бұрын

Your voice is soft & calm. I also approach life in the same way. Still finding part of me in middle age - what I want and like to do. I wonder which beach you are at? It's not busy and peaceful.

@justfly808 3 ай бұрын

Your videos help me. Thank you 🙏

@JeanVoronkova 3 ай бұрын

So glad to hear that 🌱 thank you

@samkimani5426 3 ай бұрын

Good advise

@nilada3668 3 ай бұрын

Dear Je, your house looks beautiful, simple and peaceful just like your voice and the message in this video🌻🤍

@chrismann7433 3 ай бұрын

Yes so many of us go through life living for others only to find out the end what was it all for? Where are those people for which we lived our lives seeking their approval. Oh yeah they are off living their own lives without a care about what happened to you. And unrequited love is just so interesting because almost all of us want to be in the role of the adorer as opposed to the adored. We all want to be with the one we love opposed to just being with those who love us. Really interesting. So difficult to find that so elusive state of both in the adoring role. But I imagine it exists. Great video as always.

@fxproogo7393 3 ай бұрын

Good thoughts..

@SN-hg6bx Ай бұрын

Introducing you to…..Me 🤷‍♀️. ❤❤❤❤ you are offering, sharing, life changing thoughts….🙏

@byahetyovlogs9362 2 ай бұрын

good job to you...Mabuhay from the Philippines

@charlesb.1969 2 ай бұрын

Very interesting . 🥰

@gandalf3453 2 ай бұрын

"Sometimes I think : In the eye's of the universe each of us is infinitely smaller than a spec of dust. Nothing really matters, so why not live as our true authentic selves? There's no prize at the end!" Well said... I've tried to explain this to so many of my friends and family... the message never seems to get across. I guess it's just hard for some people to really grasp that idea... that nothing really matters. Even if we discovered the mysteries of the universe, it still doesn't matter. Life is life! Just live it! Whatever happens after you die is still a mystery and will remain so! So stop worrying and pondering your mind about it. Just be you. :)

@angelicasilorio7894 3 ай бұрын

Hi. Thank you for the inspiring videos you have been created. It is so refreshing and so much relax. Your voice and the video are conspiring with each other. This is what i need now for me to develop and know myself more. Thank you so much. Hope we can meet,