Ah yes, I am very avoidant too. Forgot to mention that crucial tidbit!

Oop, me. My natural instinct after being emotional or when discussing trauma is “haha, that was pretty dumb” and to play it off as a joke and undermine myself and apologise for having feelings 🙄

Interesting how ADHD and avoidant personality types go hand in hand quite a bit.

I have finally found my people. I became avoidant at 13 and began suppressing my emotions. This is before I knew about my adhd. My life's basically fucked lol (Sorry, cynical. Still pushing forward!) but I wish I had known about my adhd back then, I knew something was different but didn't know what. I became someone I wasn't, I am almost always emotionally repressed / frozen now. When the stimulation in life began to disappear I became more inattentive retreating for naps and day dreaming to music to pass the time

Solid comment. I too have been working on my avoidant tendencies. Most people seem to be receptive about me expressing my emotions now but it has been interesting to discover who in my life is not into that.

Dude I feel this too it’s really weird, like someone understood you before you even managed to say “I don’t think you would understand”

I feel it three 🫠🫠🫠 I honestly feel like he’s talking about my life with exact detail … I’m actually feeling really overwhelmed and a tad emotional 🤪😂😂😂🤦🏻‍♀️🙋🏻‍♀️ I was never like my female peers 🥸🥸🥸

Scarily similar to me too! Nice to hear it verbalized for me, and to hear solutions for this negative mindset. Thx

I relate to

Allowing cynicism to be the boss of me hurts more, in my experience 🙃

@@ADHDMastery yeah, I agree. I imagine I'm younger, but even I can see how I've been harmed by my own cynicism. Just another thing to work on, right? Haha

Same man, my co-workers used to tell me all the time to not be so hard on myself or rigid. Used to be very easily offended, until I developed a thicker skin mentally. Now recovering and ready to get back at it

Negative Thinking becomes a safety net that cripples your chance to grow

Glad to hear it! It is possible to build new habits with repetition 🙂

True, yet sometimes you have to meet bs with bs, learned that at some places I've worked.

Yeah my self doubt has crippled my success in my career and relatiobships, but now I try to ask myself what I have to lose. You show 'em 🙂

Thankyou! It's doubly hard with mental illness. In my experience, best results with short term medication and long term cognitive behavioural therapy.

I hope , you are doing better now , I am also suffering from the same everything he said in the video

Be good to yourself and don't internalise the behaviour of the certain person. It's not something you deserve, so don't let the sadness take hold, it's the certain person who has the problem behaviour, and much of that might be slightly predictable. Depends on how much goodness you find in their heart, and there has got to be forgiveness too. If none of that stuff exists, then it's like pissing in the wind.

It is, at least your heart's in the right place.

Thank you! I haven't, no.

Telling this to an ADHA audience was funny part for me

Yes, visualisation is key for me. I should really get my old goal noticeboards back up on the walls like I used to.

@@ADHDMastery I got a lot of mental clarity from putting visual representations of what I am doing (goals) on the walls where I can't ignore them. Makes a big difference for me.

I like the first half of your comment with the toyota metaphor, but was a bit thrown by the second half. Help me distinguish if I'm wrong on how I'm reading it. My interpretation is that you're describing a bit of a pendulum swing from being a ruminating type of person, to being more avoidant. Externally it presents like you're doing well, but it's not necessarily healthy and even a bit precarious. It's good advice to encourage people to take a break from all the thinking by putting that energy into something external and making sure that physical/intellectual/social needs are being met in a way that doesn't leave room for dwelling at times. But when shit happens, say a pandemic, job loss, injury, anything. The mental resilience/adaptability comes with knowing how to be ok with down time. Additionally, the avoidant strategy is prone to burnout. I've always been someone who kept busy, and as soon as I wasn't, I processed everything from most of my youth and young adult life all at once, and it was debilitating. It's good to save time for quiet, reflection, etc. It's a balance, but at least when you get knocked down, you'll be more rested and practiced on moving through tough emotions and negative thoughts, and not having so much buildup. Build an identity that can survive the unexpected loss of any of your external motivations, and you end up being able to be even more ambitious toward your goals because the threat that comes with being creative, taking risks, putting yourself out there, will never challenge your intrinsic motivations and sense of self.

What?

Part of the reason I made this video is seeing how anxious and miserable I seemed in old videos. I can see the difference too and I'm much happier these days. Not on meds at all, but my life is considerably better now after working on myself.

@@ADHDMastery “The reason you want to be better is the reason why you aren’t.” (Alan Watts). You are already miles better!✨✨

Yes! It's a photographic enlarger 😁📷

@@ADHDMastery I haven't set foot in a darkroom in over a decade so I wasn't sure, phew! 😁 I love film photography, nice to see someone keeping the art alive.

The lights are decorative

I have light sensitivity

Shwmae, it's a Welsh greeting 🙂

@@ADHDMastery very cool thanks!

Shwmae, it's a Welsh greeting 😁