Guy here- I used to be so addicted to porn in my early 20s. Masturbating multiple times a day and hooking up a lot. For me, it was a way to self soothe pain from a trauma and it worked but it left me so lonely, depressed, and broken. I felt worse after. In my heart I wanted to be in love with someone and feel connection and not end up like one of these guys who was always taking it a step further and further. I had a few great relationships but they never worked out because porn ruined my sense of peace, intimacy, love, and ability to communicate and listen and contain my emotions. It truly is a poison. I’m happy to say I no longer watch porn nor is there a desire. I’m so sorry there are women hurting out there because their men aren’t aware of what damage it’s causing.

Every Woman, Every home, Every Relationship, Everyday. ENOUGH! We are all accountable to call out this extremely degrading behaviour.

Such a serious problem. This video needs to be seen by millions not hundreds.

I remember posting on a private all women’s group on Facebook about my bf watching porn and how much it hurt me especially the lying about it - I couldn’t believe the response I received. I was told I was insecure and that they feel sorry for my bf. And that he has every right to watch it. Was so shocked. There was no empathy whatsoever. “It’s completely natural” I beg to differ. How can something man made he natural?

What a great video!!! That being said, I’ve come to the conclusion that, with porn being so accessible, it affects everyone of us. It’s destroying relationships everywhere and it can’t be cured unless we take the internet down. What’s really frightening is that children can access porn at any given time. I liked life before we had the internet

This is a pervasive societal problem... and I will call it like it is Internet...is sometimes like a Pandora’s box

Real problem there!!! My partner is addicted to porn and it such a shame. When i found out about it.. I just have lost my respect to him. It's disgrace to have a partner who's addicted to porn. Fight me but I don't respect those kind of men.

The neglect avoidant blaming is the hardest for me & finding porn sites in the text part of his phone to

I find this somewhat disturbing. I'm a husband that has a wife that is addicted to porn. The assumption that it is only women and wives that suffer from this epidemic is hurtful and leaves me feeling very alone. Although I understand that it is by and large men who are the major targets of pornography addiction, there is an ever increasing number of women who are falling into this category. They leave behind them the same swath of wreckage as any man does. Please don't discount and forget us.

Dr. Manning, everything you said is 100% true.

I'm glad she gets that religious leaders tend not to get it.

YOUR FEELINGS ARE 100% VALID... This ruins men and the women they put this through. Please stay far away from these men, they hardly ever get “better”

This has explains exactly what I have gone through- codependency never really for for me - but this is definitely what it is to go through - betrayal trauma - spouse- kids-Parents - religion - which leads to friends - 4degrees that make you feel crazy because the narcissist spouse with the sex addiction has the gift to make things their way

Thank you for describing this so accurately and in such detail. You have helped to validate me and the trauma I’m experiencing and given me a point of reference that I can share with my husband to help him to understand the trauma and pain and confusion I am experiencing. And to help him understand the healing that I/we will need to move forward and to forgive and to process what has happened. 😢❤thank you

I’d show this to my partner who just admitted being a porn addict and wanting my help, but I think it would be lost on him because she’s so attractive. Isn’t that awful.🙄

I don't people realize That it's Actually Very Tramatic to a young child to see porn. It's not talked about enough what this done to young boys

Wow! Your window analogy was spot on

Oh I wish I had a dr like you nearby. This is such a heavy heavy hurt to carry for so many years with no validation and constant blame and manipulation.

I have struggled with this for three years with my partner. I had left a narcissist and alcoholic and suffer CPTSD and still getting help. This has added to it. Hyper vigilance, therapy, denials, excuses, blaming me and it goes on. I was in a mental hospital after I left my ex and felt I was heading back there. I gave in yesterday after I found audio porn and his constant minimising. I am done with him and done with men.

I need help. My husband is addicted to porn and I am so sick of it. I don't know that I have any feelings left

Fantastic.

The trauma of my life began early in my life from porn. I was born in 1987.. as the internet progressed.. the more f-d up my life became..all b4 I was 10 yrs old.

Uncensored Silence Go Fund Me This fund is for those who suffer in silence. The wife, the mother, the caretaker, the matriarch seemingly 'holds the whole family together while her entire self implodes into nothingness. She has no one to turn to, and her cries for help are muffled behind bars meant to protect her husband's good name and nullify her shame. This fund aims to give 10 women silenced by their husbands' pornography/sexual addictions a voice in the silence by allowing them to attend a life changing week in Arizona surrounded by the brilliance of a million stars, the compassionate nature of horses, and a safe space to express the deep seated pain that has been muffled by the necessities of daily life.

My relationship was going downhill and couldn’t figure out why until I found out he was watching porn and spending time watching instead of looking in his partner what he wanted somewhere else that’s what affected me. Some guys use it and don’t leave their partners in the shadow they get excited with their partners but if he is forgetting u and doing what’s he’s doing he has a problem and he isn’t worth finding a therapist either.

So huge...& why aren’t more watching this?!

Very helpful. Thank you. Can give me the web addresd to apstats. I can't seem to find it. Thank you

Im frozen after finding out he liked child pornography..he is in jail and i hope the authorites do their job but im still waiting to find out any information about the case i dont even have a case number..im suffereing in silence and have no income coming in on top of that so ya Very Crushing..idk what to do our how to reach out for help😢

Recently found out that my husband is addicted to porn, and you've literally listed all of the effects that I'm experiencing. I don't know what to do at the moment. We have 2 kids, 5yrs and a 3 months old

ThAnk you

My husband and I have been together 6 years. We have had a wonderful, full relationship!! He has a very high sex drive and this was never a problem. Within the last year (I’m turning 50 this year) I have gained weight and my sex drive has dropped dramatically. I have recently found that he is watching porn, something I have never seen before from him. It hurts so much because I am so lost right now and not sure how to fix myself. I’m really trying to balance my hurt with my trust in him. Does he have a problem? How do I get back to myself? Is this as serious as it hurts??

Wow. You must also read "Pornography and the Christian Girl" by Alberta Darku. Great supplementary read

Guys deny it when confronted that makes it more of a betrayal that they are lying and that is when trust in that person is lost. I had to ask him why he dis that and the answer was it poped on my phone and then I had to show him he searched it up so I made my conclusion he was lying and that brought the relationship to the edge. It’s more than just watching that it’s the lie and you can’t trust someone that might do worse after that.

For all you guys "struggling" with this lust thing....... let's compare apples to apples here. Men are visually stimulated. Woman are stimulated by physical and/or emotional touch. A man looks at a woman and (within 3 seconds) has mentally decided if he would or would not want to have sex with her. (anyone who doesn't believe this is the actual mind processes of a man - is out of touch with reality) If the answer is yes it's because he determine that she is attractive/hot/sexy/pretty/cute/etc. (pick something). If that particular man decided to tell his partner that he thinks the other woman is attractive and women are smart enough to know that he has made that determination based on his conclusion that he would be willing to have sex with her. Men want the luxury of being visually stimulated and feel they should be allowed to do so without judgement. Here is where the apples to apples comparison comes in. We, women, are stimulated by physical and/or emotional touch so in order for us to have a similar experience to men's - we need to have some sort of "interaction" with the men we find attractive. So men - Wise up and recognize that your partner is probably jealous because she hasn't given herself permission to "interact" with other men for the physical and/or emotional connection (i.e. massage, hugging, intimate conversations, quality time, etc.) she would need to experience a comparable feeling to what you are getting out of "noticing" how attractive other women are. The next time you are feeling so sorry for yourselves for being misunderstood by your partner - realize that she doesn't misunderstand you at all! She GETS YOU!! That's what pisses her off! And if you don't want her to be pissed off - give her complete permission to go get a full body massage from the hottest man in town and spend the rest of the night with him sharing her feelings. That experience would (most likely) put her in a similar mindset as you allow yourself to go into every time you look twice at other attractive women! ONLY if you give your partner your blessing for her experiencing a similar mental rush ( in a way that pleases her ) to what you get from getting turned on by 'looking' at other women, can you give your own self permission to do what you do! Men you aren't stupid - you are just selfish! Either STOP sharing your own minds with other women - or start sharing your woman's mind with other men! If you don't want to do that then let that be your motivation to just stop!! It's a choice! That's it - A CHOICE!!

Wow, Dr Jill is right on! Amazing video and was so helpful. How do ya catch these bastards and then what?

Oh! The things! I don't think!

Too little too late. After 16 yrs we live as brother and sister.. When will AIDS impact .

I am delivering a sermon to you 🙏😊 please read Consistently Pray for forgiveness, guidance in a good (positive) direction, and for help against evil. Pray to be saved from hell (whatever that may be). Pray for your friends and your family too, it only takes a minute or so/less at a time to pray. Do it and your life will slowly get better, or maybe quickly. It probably just depends on you and the kind of person you are/have been. Don't wait until its too late and you have to suffer the consequences of built up bad karma from immoral acts/unrepented sins. Maybe together we can help make the world a better place by changing ourselves for the better, and changing things around us for the better. And addressing/thanking the CREATOR, LORD GOD at the beginning and end of your prayers would be a good idea 😊 Or just be my friend if you don't want to say the prayer 😄 I'm trying to help you get right with the LORD 🙏 Amen. I have worded a short prayer for you to say if you are not sure what words to use, it may not be the best but here it is 😊 '' CREATOR, LORD GOD, Please forgive me and my friends and my family for our immoral acts, please help guide us in a positive direction and please help us against evil. Please save us from Hell and have mercy on our souls. Thank you CREATOR, LORD GOD. Amen. '' Please say this at least once a day for at least a month, do it longer if you want to and can 🙏 You should prostrate yourself if you don't want to do spoken prayer, or do both 🙏😊 Please worship the LORD GOD and not any idol. Please put your hands together 🙏 bow your head and say this prayer: "CREATOR, LORD GOD, please know that I worship you and not any idols. Thank you for everything CREATOR, LORD GOD. Amen" Say ' Om Namah Shivaya ' out loud or in your head 108 times, or try to do it 1008 times 😊 try to do it everyday if you want repeat this aloud for as long as you want to, try to do it for like an hour a day or say it in a prayer "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner" You can also say this prayer once a day or repeat it aloud as many times as you would like to: "Hail Mary, full of grace. The Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death, Amen." 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏 Thessalonians 5:16-18 "Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." Philippians 4:6-7 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." "O Blood and Water, which gushed forth from the Heart of Jesus as a fount of mercy for us, I trust in You!" Repeat this aloud at least 3 times or as many as you want, do it everyday if you can I apologize for all the words 😊 I know how it may look

some men can only take so much rejection, before reaching for some distraction.. personally I would never, ever get married again……its not worth the stress

( cautionary tale/ trigger warning) I have a close friend who was addicted to porn, and risky sex. He’d done this for years avoiding relationships n such. He was a musician and used the scene and smoking weed as a distraction. As well, he was a great father, a great friend, even a good person serving His community. But the more he spread himself thin to hide his other side the more stressed and the more he relied on his addictions to soothe him. There’s a lot of trauma sprinkled in there in his early childhood that he totally disregarded as well. That being said, as his brain kept looking for riskier and risker sexual conquests… things that were shocking and taboo… (but he was specific that this didn’t include beastiality) He found himself in forums of sexual predators. He convinced himself it was a type of personal investigation. That Prodding his curiosity was just as satisfying as porn. Because it wasn’t so much about the sex as it was the risk. Just seeing how their minds operated n such I guess. But it wasn’t long before photos were shared with him. (Specifically found CP from the dark web) One day one user asked for him to prove he wasn’t law enforcement and asked him to share photos back. To prove himself. And boom. Of course he shared photos with an officer. I was there when he was arrested and it was extremely traumatic. I understand he made those decisions and I am glad he was caught and stopped and had to face the severity of what he did. But there were a lot of issues with the aftermath of his arrest. 1. Law enforcement baiting sex addicts in this way in public internet spaces, using CP themselves… and then labeling those who fall in these traps as sex offenders. As well as how they handled the arrest extremely violently (I had over 10 guns pointed at my face just because I was the one who answered the door) it was a huge public ordeal that was dramatacized. And even local news circulated that he had intent to harm minors n such. So you see this whole other side of law enforcement and media that just wants to really demonize people to the fullest extent even if they never committed those harsher crimes. 2. The fact that society and lawmakers alive views sexoffensers/sexaddicts and pedophiles as the same thing is crippling to those, their friends, their family and their children. 3. The fact that sex addicts charged as offenders (specifically with non violent or non touching crimes) are given NO real treatment. They are shunned and treated like pedophiles… but the “treatment” is the equivalent of AA and hardly addresses childhood trauma, triggers or even the sex addiction itself. It’s kind of like a revolving door thing where they slap all kinds of fines and charges and rob you many many years of your life (for him it was over 5 years incarcerated and lifetime parole) And then that’s it. Your life is ruined because of a mistake you made from an addiction you had. I just wish there were more preventative and specific measures taken to address these issues. And it’s heartbreaking to know that people with addictions are baited into this when they could be using those tactics to help people get the help they need instead of fueling our industrial prison complex.

Religion really pisses me off. A sin is a sin, none worse than another. All are equally wrong in Gods eyes.

Weird that you make this gender specific. Women can be addicted to porn. Why be sexist? Shouldn't it say "effects on spouses"? As a woman, I'm offended.

So Y won't they stop knowing the trauma and problems there causing us?! Obviously porn is worth losing us over. And Y when U tell them it bothers U and 2 stop watching porn, then they watch it even more behind your back. I don't get it. Also, my husband was caught paying for sumthing that's called premium porn on pornhub. Can anybody plz explain Y he is laying when porn is free?! Y would anybody pay?! Explain.

Women read lovey dovey novels. Now that hurts me! Sob!

Sex we are taught/educated more about the universe and the ocean floor. It’s completely natural, yet we cloth are bodies and even talking about it is taboo. You may blame Porn or whatever I blame the human condition.

How tf did I end up on the man hating side of KZfaq

DSM III, IV and V all agree. There is no such thing as sex addiction. It literally cannot happen

Prudes, prudes everywhere. Furthermore, comparing the use pornography to parafilic behavior is asanine.