How to Add a Handfasting to Your Wedding Ceremony (+ Script!)

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Unboring!Wedding - Mark Allan Groleau

6 жыл бұрын

The first time I was asked by one of my wedding couples if I would do a handfasting in their ceremony, I said yes, of course. But I was pretty intimidated by it.
Handfasting sounds very formal. And there are actual logistics to consider! How do you tie the knot? What do you say?
As it turns out, I had nothing to be worried about.
Having done handfasting in quite a number of weddings, I've modified and adapted a style of handfasting that works well in a contemporary ceremony. It might not work for your grandmother's hardcore traditional tastes or if you need to go by the book. But for the modern unboring wedding, it turns out beautifully.
This video walks through the five parts of the handfasting ritual we need to consider.
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Пікірлер: 94

@charlesrford 5 жыл бұрын

It's because of dudes like yourself on the interwebs that make this best time to be alive. Thanks for taking the time to make this.

@housemate123 3 жыл бұрын

Just to let you know its an IRISH/ SCOTTISH ceremony. A ritual permitted under ancient Irish (Brehon) law 😉😁🇮🇪 as well as Scottish! Love your work by the way.

@erickberrocal7453 5 жыл бұрын

My fiancé and I are getting married in 2020, thank you so much for this helpful knowledge of handfasting, we plan to do this for our wedding

@julialumina1615 5 жыл бұрын

congrats!

@carolinestommes1445 6 жыл бұрын

Oh my goodness! This was one of the few super helpful/informational videos on youtube about handfasting! Thank you so much for making this :)

@patriciamuszynski1328 4 жыл бұрын

Lovely, my soon to be husband suggested for us to do a hand fasting ceremony at our wedding. Seems so much more spiritual than a Christian wedding

@besussus7821 4 жыл бұрын

Im pagan and my girlfriend is christian i guess i didn't realize how easy it was to impliment it into a wedding its really nice how you explained it as not being scary or anything

@julieweston5154 5 жыл бұрын

Thanks for this - it's always wonderful to see how others do handfasting. I often incorporate a handfasting in my ceremonies - and it's always a bit different for each couple. I also sometimes incorporate a Buddhist scarf (kata) with the '8 Auspicious Symbols' for happiness and enlightenment woven into the fabric, weaving Celtic tradition with Buddhist values.

@rev.claudia9843 5 жыл бұрын

This was great! Thanks for posting. I incorporated Hand-Fasting into my first ceremony - but with a twist - the couple met at the Wiggle Waggle Walk-A-Thon in Hamilton so the handfasting was done with a dog leash.

@kristadavies3762 5 жыл бұрын

Love this explanation! Want to do a vow renewal with this as the key point. Now to plan!

@goliathtigerfishes 3 жыл бұрын

You speak about Handfasting so beautifully, thank you!

@yellowcopy4038 5 жыл бұрын

Great post. We just ordered our Handfasting Tartan ribbon of both our family clans from the Scottish Company in Toronto. Can't wait for it to arrive and incorporate it in our wedding. We're both Scots Canadian and doing it as a surprise to our families in the ceremony.

@TylerTried 5 жыл бұрын

This was beautifully described. Thank you so much.

@everaftermemories 5 жыл бұрын

Thanks so much! I just started officiating here in the US this year and this my first handfasting will be in JAN. Very helpful and took the anxiety out of it.

@andreamitchell5050 5 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much for making these videos. Recently got my ordained minister's license and then froze on what to do next. Your videos are so helpful. Now to get over being shy lol.

@jenattard4848 4 жыл бұрын

Great video Mark. Explains the ritual really well and for it not to be feared by the celebrant conducting the ritual. Thanks for another really informative video.

@Benjamin01170 4 жыл бұрын

This was a big help. Thank you!

@ToryBerra 4 жыл бұрын

This was VERY helpful. Thanks!!

@gingerforce69 5 жыл бұрын

Doing it my wedding! Thank you!

@zilbyrne 6 жыл бұрын

Thanks this was super helpful!

@virginiawalsh 5 жыл бұрын

Thank you, Mark!

@MarvelousMichigan 5 жыл бұрын

Great video and lots of good info.

@annamacanas328 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you! So helpful!

@Sw33tWillow 5 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much this is a great and informative video.

@Moooobaby 4 жыл бұрын

Very helpful, thank you.

@annamacanas328 2 жыл бұрын

I always like how you just give the facts and get to the point! Always helpful Thank you!

@annamacanas328 2 жыл бұрын

Yes. I’ve been officiating part time but am really working on building and transitioning into full time. So much good stuff:)

@showmeyrt33th 3 жыл бұрын

wow our wedding is in 2021 and this video was very helpful!! thank you so much, if you weren't already fully booked I'd fly you to Michigan!

@zina6581 8 ай бұрын

Thank you..I have my first coming up in a week. This information is Very helpful!

@inyuna334 5 жыл бұрын

"Wiccan' "scary" and "voodoo" should not be said in the same sentence. Wiccan is a new age religion and has nothing to do with this. You're just speaking word salad and adding to the already terrible stigma and belief that Wiccans are evil. Other than that, really helpful video. You did a great job of explaining it.

@thornedroseroyalty7460 5 жыл бұрын

†iny †una Wicca was actually before Christianity along with Paganism itself starting with the Norse gods. I am a Wicca witch and have been since birth. My mother did a hand fasting for her wedding and most of this is correct however you are allowed to change the ritual to fit your own personal views. This IS the actual wedding ceremony for Paganism but it’s not legal in the US which is bs

@saskiafradasinovanyon3010 4 жыл бұрын

Yes, I agree about the wording. This is a very helpful video and thank you for posting it. Please also be aware though that Voodoo also does not belong in the same sentence as "scary". The Voodoo religion has also been greatly misrepresented. There is nothing evil about it. It has always been founded on a belief in God and the angels, and when Christ came he was recognized as the savior. This belief was not brought by the Christians - it was already present. The trinity is just known by different names in the Voodoo. A lot of the misrepresentation is rooted in slavery and racism. In the Voodoo religion there is a saying that God has a tree and each branch of that tree is a different religion, so you have to respect the entire tree. Thank you again for posting the video. Great job explaining the process.

@marq6929 4 жыл бұрын

Agreed, that was a little rude and a lot ignorant. I appreciate the effort to put people at ease about how it is pagan but so are Christmas Trees, but not helpful wording there ultimately.

@bTrue387 4 жыл бұрын

Of course gotta have somebody who knows everything about religion correct you... smh. f off

@celestejohnson1160 4 жыл бұрын

YES THANK YOU

@louisebradshaw2678 2 жыл бұрын

Really helpful thank you

@nataliebrady2092 2 жыл бұрын

I love the sand unity. Especially for blended families. So beautiful! I would love to see you officiate a wedding on video! thank you for sharing ideas! Hopefully one day I’ll get married and Can use them!

@katherinekruger8389 3 жыл бұрын

I'm a wedding officiant and haven't done alot of weddings. I have been asked to perform a handfasting ceremony in July 2021. I'm nervous and don't want to mess it up. Your videos are super helpful and full of great information!! Keep them coming and Thank You so much!!

@unboringwedding Жыл бұрын

Thank you so much for taking the time to let me know, Katherine! I hope you had a great ceremony and wish you continued success!

@haileymaurer122 Жыл бұрын

Wonderful video. We are doing a handfasting ceremony this October for our wedding just because it is such a beautiful ritual and leaves a lovely keepsake which we will have framed. We are having some members of the family be representatives and bring a color to loop around our right hands (we're holding the cords in place with our thumb). I've heard the hands can be one on top and one on bottom to represent protection and support for the relationship. The officiary will help us pull and tie the cords into a knot. There are so many unique ways to celebrate this and I love that you are sharing information about this.

@mathgenius9940 Жыл бұрын

I’m writing my whole ceremony for my daughter to officiate. OMG I appreciate you Sooo Much! I’ve watched several of your videos now while cooking spaghetti sauce from my homegrown tomatoes to freeze for rehearsal dinner. We’ve ALL subscribed to your channel. I think I’ll watch them over and over this last month before the Big Day! Honestly sooo relaxing in a productive way. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Btw, I’m having a Pagan wedding and not offended in the least by anything you’ve said. You truly found your calling in being an officiant. Actually life skills I think we can All use in stressful times beyond weddings. Bless you!

@unboringwedding Жыл бұрын

Oh my goodness, thank you so much for your comment! I’m so thrilled I could be of help to all of you. Enjoy the wedding - and the spaghetti! :-)

@randallbyron683 3 жыл бұрын

Mark-Thank you so much!!! :-) Your videos on performing weddings are soooo!!! Helpful! May God richly bless you!!! for what you do!!! :-) I will be referring you to newly ordained ministers as myself!

@amybuchanan1 3 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much! We are planning our wedding as we speak( 10/17/20) Very Helpful!!

@paulbalogh4582 8 ай бұрын

Thank you - I’m doing my first solo “fasting” 2morrow.

@dagmarkrieglstein5015 Жыл бұрын

😃🙏🥰 Thanks Mark, you helped me out BIG here !!

@unboringwedding Жыл бұрын

Aw I love hearing that. Thanks for letting me know! 🙌🏻

@lainymac8154 5 жыл бұрын

Amazing easy to follow. I have just become a spiritual minister and have my first wedding in June Thankyou

@hollyhawksnest9201 5 жыл бұрын

Im about to Officiate my first handfasting ritual, your video was very helpful. Look forward to checking out your site. Thanks

@hollyhawksnest9201 5 жыл бұрын

How to Officiate a Wedding Yes, I realize Ill have to have a spot to rest my book and will have to memorize or wing anything I say.

@terrybond-manville3019 4 жыл бұрын

I'm be doing my first hand fasting in October.... fun!

@sergeikraev1004 Жыл бұрын

Thank you!

@unboringwedding Жыл бұрын

You’re welcome - glad to help!

@southernwitchmagickinthewo5672 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you for easing my anxiety lol🥰

@JacklynCunningham 5 жыл бұрын

I'm from Toronto and will probably want a handfasting ceremony to my wedding :)

@lynnmcclaine7683 5 жыл бұрын

Surprised there was no demonstration! But thanks for the history.

@kristadavies3762 5 жыл бұрын

Yes I too was hoping for pictures, if you will. But this was very helpful and I will look for more youtube videos!

@quinncrochet19 6 жыл бұрын

Seriously your videos are amazing! Question for you!!! What are your thoughts on the bride standing on the right and the groom standing on the left when facing the aisle?? I want to spice things up a lil and completely switch the bridesmaids and groomsmen. I have never seen this done b4? Do you think it is strange??

@quinncrochet19 6 жыл бұрын

Yes the idea in your first paragraph! Whoohoo glad other people have done that! I have done some research and supposedly it is traditional for the groom to stand on the right (when facing the aisle) so he can have his right hand (his fighting hand) free just in case other suitors try to steal her away! Lol! Olllld school!!! You should make a video about wedding traditions! Thanks so much for the reply! 😄

@OrchidStarr 6 жыл бұрын

Have you tried the infinity knot?

@pamhahn5284 5 жыл бұрын

If I could say thank you in six languages, I would. 😘❤️

@pamhahn5284 5 жыл бұрын

How to Officiate a Wedding. This is not only my first wedding to Officiate, but one of my dearest friends. I am nervous. Your videos bring great comfort. ❤️

@innamitev6199 Жыл бұрын

This is so helpful! One piece I'm unclear on still is how to transition out of the hand fast into the kiss. If we do vows>rings>hand-fasting do they stay in the fast during the kiss, or do they take their hands out, hand the knot to us (the officiant) and then we do pronouncement and kiss? Thank you!!

@unboringwedding Жыл бұрын

Hi Inna! I have actually done it both ways - removing the ribbon before the rings and pronouncement, or doing the rings before the fast and then they stay in the fast after they are pronounced and they kiss. Either way, they will have to remove the ribbon before they are presented and sent up the aisle, so the key is really making sure they can slip out of it easily. Thanks for the question, and remember as a member of Unboring!Wedding Academy you can always email me directly! :-)

@heatherhinton201 3 жыл бұрын

Hi.... I ask my couple to hold heart hands, their left hands... I then drape the ribbon over their hands then I tie the knot under and they hold the ends then gentle pull ends releasing hands at the same time.... they literally tie their knot!!!

@CasamentoecumenicoBr 4 жыл бұрын

Link is broken :(

@iamKevinLee Жыл бұрын

HIYA~ so prior to this ritual we likely need to have them exchange rings? so thats done... and not awkardly inserted after handfasting = so they arent fumbling to get rings??

@unboringwedding Жыл бұрын

That’s right! Although… You CAN have it both ways. Either you get the rings out of the way first and then do the handfasting and pronounce them… or you do the handfasting and just have them slip out of the ribbon and then move on to the rings. Thanks for the question!

@iamKevinLee Жыл бұрын

@@unboringwedding

@ashleykirk9490 4 жыл бұрын

I cant find any answers on this but is this legal in GA?

@ashleykirk9490 4 жыл бұрын

@@unboringwedding thank you! That's very helpful :)

@petropavlovskkamchatskiy1917 5 жыл бұрын

WRONG! Celtic tradition has it's strongest origins in IRELAND, not Scotland. And, like most things Celtic, handfasting is an Irish thing and is still very strong in Ireland to this day. The Celts LATER went to Scotland much later on.

@petropavlovskkamchatskiy1917 5 жыл бұрын

@@unboringwedding My mother is a historian and archaeologist....... specialising in Celtic Studies. Believe me, it's wrong. Nevertheless, using your argument, the same could be said about your comment. You said something like 'It's a Celtic tradition meaning of course Scotland'. Ridiculous comment. And highly insulting to the biggest Celtic nation in the world, Ireland. Scotland is only about 50% Celtic ....... who came from Ireland anyway. Ireland is closer to 100% Celtic.

@millicentbalderdash2641 5 жыл бұрын

Both Irish and Scots are Celtic people, but the Celts were way more widespread than just the British Isles, occupying territory from Turkey to Portugal. The tribes that migrated from Ireland to Scotland were Celtic, sure, but so were the majority of people in Scotland at the time.

@petropavlovskkamchatskiy1917 5 жыл бұрын

@@millicentbalderdash2641 Millicent Balderdash Referring to Ireland as part of a anything ''british' is highly insulting. They didn't fight for 800 years to regain their identity......only for others to refer to their island as part of something 'british'. That term waa invented by a british imperialist to try to justify britain's illegal claim on Ireland. Regarding the Celts. Yes, they did spread out to many corners of Europe......but not in great numbers. They originated in central Europe and later were driven out mostly to western Europe, with their stronghold in Ireland. Ireland is the only country that was almost 100% Celtic and was the only Celtic land never to be successfully invaded by the Romans.

@catrinrees6662 3 жыл бұрын

Wales and Ireland are Celtic nations too. Not just Scotland.

@matthewhines9088 5 жыл бұрын

I have a problem with this. You can't actual have a handfasting at a wedding because a handfasting is when you're with your partner for a year and a day and after that time you can either move on or marry.

@vironicaraye2526 4 жыл бұрын

Me, a Wiccan scary pagan voodoo bride.... 🤔

@vironicaraye2526 4 жыл бұрын

@@unboringwedding I would love to see an educational video. That acknoleges pagan, Wiccan, or other, but also explains the stuff you did. I am looking for a good educational video to share with my guests that can discuss those fears and stigmas without playing into them for crowd support. If you were interested I'd be happy to kind of work shop that.

@evenlow610 4 жыл бұрын

Omg handfasting is Celtic yes 100% but guess what the Celtic people of this time when the handfasting was used where ..... you guessed it PAGAN. I think its lovely the people are using the old ways in their weddings but DONT try to make things that are pagan not be because that makes it in some way more comfortable for you. I am a pagan and I can say 100% it's as pagan as christmas (which fyi is pagan too, it's called yule) a small amount of research can prove this.

@edbouchejr2542 3 жыл бұрын

Mark this is not even close to ok. I see that others have corrected you in the comments, but I still feel compelled to say my peace. Paganism predates all other faiths. The "Christmas" Tree comes from a PAGAN celebration (Saturnalia) all Christian Holidays are celebrated on pre-existing pagan celebrations. The Christians "stole" the holidays figuring that Pagans were already celebrating on these specific days, so why not use those days and put a spin on the symbolism. For example. Easter (the pagan Eostre) the Christians made this the rebirth of Jesus, the pagans were already celebrating this as the rebirth of the earth and the renewal of life (flowers start blooming, animals start having babies, etc) I could go on but I think I've made my point.

@Greyandgreenfeathers 4 жыл бұрын

As a celtic pagan, I do feel kind of appropriated every time a "look down their nose" Christian tries to spin traditions from pagan time periods/cultures as Christian traditions.

@Greyandgreenfeathers 4 жыл бұрын

@@unboringwedding there is no offense from you. :) more at couples who snarl when you mention pagans but dont hesitate to appropriate the "fun" "cute" pagan traditions. I have a few of those in my family and I guess I have become rather defensive. I really appreciate your video and gave it a 👍... Thank you!

@BettanyP89 5 жыл бұрын

Celtic is actually Irish. Just by the by.

@allencampbell3297 5 жыл бұрын

Just by the by, historically there are seven celtic nations: Ireland, Scotland, Wales, Brittany, Cornwall, The Isle of Man, and Galicia

@MorrisonScotch 5 жыл бұрын

I'm going to tell the truth about what this ceremony is why it is and why it should be done. 1. It should only be done if the couple love each other and are prepared to vow to God the union and matrimonial power of marriage to its fullest degree. It is really utterly stupid to be hand fast at a wedding because go be hand fast it designed to be so only in the case a preacher priest etc is not available to marry a couple. I hope people stop downgrading being hand fast by thinking it is acceptable to do it when it is not meant to be done. People use it like some fashion accessory well it's not, and acceptable none that uses the hand fast ceremony at acceptable none wedding is an ignorant fool. Things you are required to have to be hand fast, the absence of a holy man to marry, lack of paperwork to legally binding it. If the couple lack this then that is only when they truly qualify for being hand fast.

@allisonzentgraf9530 5 жыл бұрын

Haha what? Why would someone be ignorant by doing this? Paperwork to get married is more easily available to everyone then back in the day... why can't people look at the beautiful symbolism of the ceremony instead?

@MorrisonScotch 5 жыл бұрын

@@allisonzentgraf9530 I'm telling historical fact if you don't like it go back in time and bitch idgaf

@kellymcdonald5637 4 жыл бұрын

Joey Morriso

@rgcseed8181 4 жыл бұрын

People are going to do whatever they want to do at their own ceremony regardless of how handfasting came about. But I do suggest that you read over what you wrote because it was a little hard to decipher.

@SheDMontford 5 жыл бұрын

Do not get anybody to do a handfasting for you unless they know how to work with spirit -otherwise things can go horribly wrong on a spiritual level - ONLY an experienced Licensed religious Pagan priest/ess - or it is a fraudulent ceremony as the celebrant is pretending to be able to officiate religiously