“We want to be seen for who we really are and be forgiven; not mistaken for someone else, idealized, and then condemned”

Underlying message in this is that you're not winning by being attractive to people who aren't a fit for you. By showing them a bit more of you, you're going to turn off the wrong people and turn on the right ones.

I have to watch these videos twice, because the first time i watch it I just get lost in that beautiful animation.

- inform them your vulnerability - ask for their vulnerability as well - admit you're lonely - compliments them

I feel like this advice only works on people with the same general state of mind and maturity. A School of Life dating app could probably work wonders. One set up in a way that makes it clear the intent is to bring people together to form strong long lasting/life-long relationships, not one night stands or flings.

Who the hell are you? How do you know everything about life in such a real and true way! So freaking glad I found this channel, unbelievable.

1. Admit you’re a little mad 2. Give them a safe space to admit they’re a little mad 3. Reveal that we’ve been a bit lonely and sad lately. This is to show that no matter your external success, you too share doubts and insecurities just like your date. It makes you more relatable. 4. Pay compliments. Something that comes from the heart and something that isn’t easily noticeable about themselves.

Yes to sharing quirks and fears on early dates No to baring your soul like you're in therapy on early dates If you find someone who is open and strong enough to meet you in baring everything this early kudos. You can probably get there with most people but ease into it (like once you're past the introductory stuff and there seems to be connection)

I had a first date last night, and I talked about School of Life. Do I win?

I went out with this guy about a year ago who I liked soo much, he was so cute and we had a crazy amount of things in common. He was funny, a gentleman, etc. our 3rd date I had really bad anxiety and I told him, although it’s a blur I’m sure I blurted out a few stupid things out of anxiousness and stupidity, he assured me he understood but didn’t talk to me again after that. I had a hard time for a long while understanding where it went south, but I know that if a guy can’t handle my craziness he can’t stick around for anything else. It’s weird you still learn these lessons in your 20s

This is great advice for older/matured people

first date; i´m a little crazy and depressive great first impression!

Went on a date once with a guy. He talked exactly the same like this!! It made me open myself more and he ended up compliment about how he enjoyed talking to me (which i felt appreciated by that). The date went well, we keep in touch on whatsapp, the feeling started to grow. Turned out he has a wife. Shit happened

All great advice - unless you're dealing with a predatory, manipulative type :( They love this kind of information too, but for very different reasons.

When everything is too perfect, it feels kinda unreal at times. I like the advice here, The School of Life!

“Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you” - Carl Jung

"vulnerability well worn and madness confidently understood" I love this

First gotta find someone that wants to give me a date lmao

I broke the "we are human" conversation with my boyfriend and we talked about are bowel movements.

On the first date that I had, with my now boyfriend of 9ish months, I did something similar to this. I think part of why it's worked out was that we're both pretty down to earth and just generally a good match. But I think it's good to practice balancing wanting to make a good outward impression while revealing your 'flaws' (or unconventional interests?). On the first date I was a little more reserved because it's the point where you're just trying to get to know someone on the surface. But once we agreed to meet again I knew that the second date was where I'd make sure to show more of my quirks and insecurities. I basically finished the second date with something like " I tried to show you a little more of what I'm like most of the time because I think it's only fair that you see what you're getting yourself into" and at that point, if he didn't want to see me anymore then so be it. As for him, he was a little quieter and I could tell, and honestly looking back I was right, that he had his quirks and insecurities too but it would maybe take a little more time to show it. So the fact that I had opened up first really set the vibe that our budding relationship was a safe place where he could feel comfortable to be himself and not feel like he ever had to put up any fronts. 9 months later and we're practically like best friends (with benefits :P) and can talk about literally anything at any point. And all in all it's a great relationship because it was built on trust and understanding and acceptance of the other- because at the end of the day we're all human beings with different likes and dislikes and quirks and what have you. And this is coming from a 24ish year old, and he's 25. You don't have to be old to be mature and grounded. And you don't have to be mature and grounded to have a 'good relationship'. Cus not everyone is, and may not get there, or isnt there yet but will eventually. Just know that when you're seeking out a partner, a fling, a friend: you'll get and attract those who are in a similar state of mind to you. I think the main message of this video is that if you're open and real with someone from the get go, and especially if you tell them that you're making that kind of effort, it encourages them to do the same. And that's one case of many that create good foundations for long lasting relationships.

your voice is therapy

Just be yourself ... It's easy and helps you in long run

Wow, thanks for that. Tonight I planned a date with very special women. Wish me all best !

British “mad” is different than American “mad.” Took me a while to figure out they meant “show them you’re a little crazy,” not “show them you’re angry”

I think this advice would work on the second or third date with the exception of respectful compliments. I still think you need to get to know the person first before disarming them with your vulnerabilities to know if they can be trusted with this info-if the conversation with your date happens to go in that direction, then yes of course divulge per your discretion. I’m just thinking in situations where the date is checking their phones, disengaged, and disappointing; you wouldn’t want to give them the “Hail Mary” to definitely continue/end the date. If they don’t respect your time, they don’t deserve to know you. (Also don’t be THAT date either-don’t check your phones and disengage).

If everyone who watched this video got together as a community soul mates would be found. Many, many of them.

"Anyone over the edge of twenty possessed with the idea that they are easy to live with has evidently not begun to understand themselves or their impact on others". That made me laugh hard...

first date, a couple hours into the conversation. (this actually happened) him: well I have social anxiety. and I'm bipolar. taking medication for some time now. me: I am starting to see a psychiatrist soon. some diagnosed friends assume I have hypomania. him: ... so, how was that thing you're talking about going? ... we stayed for a couple hours more. and met again the other month. I guess he's in the deep depression episodes nowadays. will call him up soon for a movie date. but it's really quite liberating to know these this soon. it actually helps you see how resilient they are that they spend time with and try getting to know you no matter how hard of struggles they are going through deep inside.

Its amazing how this channel never lets down about every subject, topics that touches on.

i love how the animations are so unique for each video

This just gave me great pointers than speak straight to the truth of long relationships. I am 25, have aspergers, and have never been in a relationship. I am very interested in a girl I met through a support group. Because of my anxieties to woman I find attractive, I have yet to speak a word to her. But since the heartaches felt the days that I left without a word, I have decided it's next time or never. I cannot wait to finally talk to her.

I feel like this is a bit much for first date but still figure out these things early on as to not waste time

This describes what I think a date should be. But in a time when online dating is the primary method for people to meet each other I have found that the minute they sense the slightest hint of perceived negativity or imperfection (for want of a better term) it's on to the next one. For this to work, and ideally it should, more people need to be on this level. I just don't think the majority of people these days have such self-awareness and empathy. Though I fully admit this may be a regional phenomenon.

Perfect timing as always, more beautifully illustrated and animated than ever. What a gift of a video to release on my birthday. :)

I received the notification five minutes before when I actually went out on a date. ARE YOU WATCHING ME?

Where was this video the other day? :')

Acknowledge your weaknesses. Don't define yourself solely through your strengths. Find a common ground where both can grow together is the one thing I wish to find in a date.

Thank you, School of Life, where was this video 25 years ago when I needed it?

Brene Brown also talks a lot about vulnerability and how it is touchstone of strength and creativity and positive growth in our lives... This video echoes that thought so beautifully... Thank You!!!

I love the moment at 3:47. As the faces come closer together you can see how they grow closer together as people. The woman's head takes up a lot of space on the screen which remembers me of someone allowing me in her life, sharing her feelings with me and letting me know she feels comfortable. It is much better than a cheap kiss. It shows both people. When i watched it a second time in the end i noticed how you can see that both their faces have practically become one face. Both knowing each other and speaking for each other. But also involving themselves and allowing the other to be involved. As being together involves the want to listen to someone as well as talking to that person. The most amazing depiction of how it feels to be in a wholesome and fulfilling relationship.

I love this channel, especially these with practical steps. I'm sure you're saving me thousands in therapy costs

“So, how are you crazy?” While also leaning in. Is this what I’m supposed to do now????

So insightful! And the illustrations are just perfect.

The official german translation puts date as in a calender date...

So.. Self aware, humble, and nice.

Vulnerability is important in all relationships

I think it’s worth studying logically about one’s own dating and evaluate ourselves. Most of the times we may find our own faults. It’s good to know the fact we can make it better ourselves.

Thank you for sharing life’s securities in such a normal and kind way, you are truly brilliant

The essence of the video is to show your true self and not to be fake

Let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible ornament of a quiet and gentle spirit...

Good advice for many human interactions, not just romantic relationships. (Probably best to hold back a little when going for a job interview though).

Oh..so this is how it's supposed to work! THANK YOU! *Light Bulb Moment*

I am just in love with the narrator's voice

Insightful and thought-provoking.

So REFRESHING! Thank you!

"someone around whom we no longer have to be jolly in a brittle way" this is a brilliant way of saying stop faking the funk, folks.

Before seeing this video, I did this, and can confirm that it is highly effective.

Basically, be vulnerable. Show your strenghts and weaknesses, you can shoo away the wrong ones and attract the right ones

Moral of the story, be yourself and avoid all extremes

I think sharing a bit of your imperfections works. It shows you are human & opens to further conversation. But it also depends on the person you’re on a date with.

This was surprisingly brilliant

I like the lil illustrations 💞

Really amazing advice.

Very good video.Thank you

Awesome and informative video

Ok got it. Express all my issues onto them

This is the best video I have seen on this because it isn't about being calculating

This is the longest way to say “Be Yourself”

Once on a date the girl sitting across the table from me passed gas. It was not loud or smelly, but it was quite obvious. From my perspective I smiled knowingly before continuing the conversation. I learned the next day from her friend that my actions post-fart were monstrous. Perhaps I should have pretended not to have noticed, or, perhaps (as I was holding back gas myself) I should have just let one loose.

In 20 and I’m going on my first date ever and I feel more prepared now

This is sooo brilliant. I love this.

Amazing animation....I'm in love with it 😍

Congratulations! It couldn´t be better said.

A wholesome video, indeed.

All this on a first date! Hmmm?🤔

Thanks for that video and your effort all the years. I admire all the different animations and the soothing narration. You have a slightly mistake in the German translation of the title. (Lost in autotranslation.^_^) Now it says how to be attractive on a specific day in the calendar, called "Datum", but in context it is wrong, it could stay 'date': "...bei einem date...", we call it here also, or for more correct German "...bei einer Verabredung...".

Awesome vid

Sir... You who made these videos about life, seems to be a master at life. You must be scoring chicks left and right and winning at the game of life. I can imagine this guy balling it out day and night and everyone is just wet for this master of psychology and life.

what i observed from the video , that the heads of participants in dating are much more smaller than compared to their body size. Still whenever there's a closeup , you can see the two heads having proportionately comparable head size, depict that dating is all an interaction of ideas rather than the physical form wearing baggy clothes is just an hoax of shield we wear to hide our intellect and prevent our vulnerable self to be out in the open.

thank you

Look like your pictures, that helps too!

If you are able to glean these same lessons from the seasons of Californication, then you're good. But then again, if you could, then you wouldn't need this video. Great video, thank you!

Is school of life spying on me, I was thinking of asking someone i like for a long time now in a date, and its amazing how timely this video is. Just like every video from this site.

This is good advice for people whom are matured and/or middle aged.

💯%. Just be real, authentic, open, and a bit vulnerable. Nobody wants to be on a date with a “perfect” person. It’s too intimidating! 😳😝 I prefer to know that the other person has struggles of their own, just like I do. That way, neither party starts off the potential relationship feeling like they’ll never measure up. Above all, be HUMAN-flaws and all. The rest will work itself out.

There is a wording in the beginning that doesn't suit me in my point of view: "... is to persuate them to like us back." It should be that we should spend the time to find out, together with them, wether they like us the same way back just the way we are. With the whole rest i totally agree. Think not about how sexy and attractive and fun someone might be, but how this person makes your feel good as a person and how much this person means to you over time. Because in the end we'll be old and unattractive.

I Think this is the School of Lifes fantasy for what a perfect date is.

These videos are absolutely beautiful.🤔

My crush of two years (who had to move away for school) is coming back and asked me to spend time with him!!

"They are showing us the fertilized soil in which our love would grow" i like that

The way the animators in your videos present body type and gender is very very interesting and I would love to hear an interview with your creative director

I love the art

Please don't auto translate you titles into Spanish

Beautifully said! It's like poetry for the soul and for the mind. I feel understood. The comment about not wanting to be put on a pedestal and then devalued really jumped out for me while listening. Having experienced relationships with Narcissists all my life (from 16 onwards), being suddenly devalued and emotionally 'tortured' by a person that you have feelings for, and who seemed so happy with you at first, is crushing. You can see them thriving on your pain and your bewilderment as to what's now going on. To have "emotional safety", and to be with a man who has built trust with me over time, and for him to be the same man at ten weeks that he was on day 1 would be heavenly 🥰 A man who is consistent across time.... Alas, the 'good guy' facade crumbles by that point (sometimes six weeks, sometimes it's the third date, or even the second), and it's over for me.💔

Not that i`ll ever have a date but good information just in case.

What isn't said is that you need to be quite confident in yourself to share your vulnerabilities. If you're not, then hold back on doing so. I personally think that, on a first date, it's too much too soon. I'm not big on small talk either, but there is a middle ground between skating the surface and sharing vulnerabilities. If the date goes well you might find yourself sharing vulnerabilities naturally, which is a good sign and probably a better way to do so, than forcing the issue.

What kind of person never gives u their free time when they're off work. When they see their ex instead. When they tell u they wish they had you. That they wish things were different. When they tell u they will always love you and wish they could meet you and be with you. Yet they're not.... Why would I still believe some of these lines..? Then I figured it out. They didn't love me really and don't want to be with me or even try to. 💔

so soo sooothing

Honestly, it's been a long time not dating...but I observe how a man treats a waitress... Does he treat her with respect her or order her around? Does he say thank you and tip properly? If I can see a man around children, disable, elderly or animals I like to observe him.

I should’ve watched this the day before yesterday.