Do you want to be more effective at making others do what you want them to do? This lesson is for you! The way that you speak with others is important, because it can affect their behavior, especially if you are in a position of authority. If you are too direct, others may not be receptive to you, and they may not listen or do what you ask for. But if you use a better way of communicating, you will be able to motivate and encourage others in a positive way. Directness in communication is also cultural, so if you come from a culture that tends to be more direct and aggressive than we are in North America, you may be surprised when your communication is not well-received here. Are you not getting the results you need from your employees or even your children? I will teach you communication methods that will help you influence others in a positive way. Feel free to ask questions in the comments, and then describe your success stories so we can all learn new ways to communicate effectively. www.engvid.com/communicate-ef...
TRANSCRIPT
Hello. My name's Ronnie. Are you a mother or a father, or a teacher or someone? Are you someone? Are you a human? Me too. I want to tell you something that's really, really cool and amazing. The way that we speak to students or the way that you speak to children or even other people, if you're a boss or you are a manager of someone or of a company - it's very, very important the way that you speak to people because if you are very direct with people, they will not respond to you, and they will close down, they will lose their confidence, and they will not do what you need them to do.
I'm a teacher. Surprise. And in a classroom, there is certain language that you can use to help students motivate them... To help motivate students, and there's also certain language that you can use with children or with employees to help motivate them or encourage them. So, what I'm going to teach you today is English phrases that you probably use, and maybe they're not getting the results that you need in your place of work, at home with children, or in a classroom.
And the reason why is it's because how people react to what you say. If someone throws you negative energy, you're not going to respond very well to them. For example, if you're upset and someone says: -"Just relax. Don't worry." -"Don't tell me to relax. I'm angry." The worst thing you can do is tell someone to relax, because it makes it worse. So, I'm going to go through some harsh phrases and how to make them softer to encourage people to get them to do what you want. "Manipulation" is another word.
So, as a teacher, I know that sometimes students do not understand something. Now, I know because of their faces; they have a blank stare, or they look around, or they look at the ground. So, as a teacher, you say: "Okay. Do you have any questions?" And, of course, you are shy. You don't want to ask the teacher a question. Maybe you will look stupid if you ask the teacher a question. So, teachers, instead of saying: "Do you have any questions?" and waiting in silence, it would be better to say: "I'm here to help. Please ask me."
It's the same thing if you are in a job, or you are the manager of someone, or you are the boss of someone. Instead of saying: "Do you have any questions?" you can be nice and say: "I'm here to help you, so please ask me questions. Feel free to ask me questions." This makes you more approachable. "Approachable" means easier to talk to, because you need to make sure that the people respect you, and then you can have a good relationship, whether it be in the classroom, at a job, or with your children, or anyone really.
"Why don't you understand? Oh my god, you're so stupid." So, obviously there is a problem; maybe with instructions, or language, or communication. Instead of asking the person: "Why don't you understand?" because they don't know why they understand, you could say something like: "Oh, hey. Let me show you again." Or: "Let me tell you again how to do it." Again, you're taking the person and making them help you. You want to help the person. You don't want the person to feel stupid or feel not good about themselves; you want to encourage people in a classroom, you want to encourage your children to learn. As soon as you stop doing that, people shut off; they don't want to learn from you, they don't want to take guidance from you, especially in a job. You're supposed to be a leader if you're a manager. You're supposed to give people guidance. And if you don't do that properly, no one's going to follow you. Your team, it's not going to work too well.
So: "Shut up! Oh my god!" I understand, as a parent, children are loud, or in a classroom the classroom gets crazy; students are loud. You want to just scream: "Shut up!" or "Be quiet!" Okay, do it. But if that doesn't work, another method you could say is, especially to children: "Please speak in a quieter voice." […]