How To Cope When Grieving Cut Off Adult Children (Five Tips)

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How To Cope When Grieving Cut Off Adult Children (Five Tips)

Рет қаралды 5,902

Күн бұрын

Is your adult child cut off and are you grieving and hurting? In this video, you will learn FIVE tips on how to cope when grieving estranged adult children.
Grieving is a normal process that follows a loss, and it's excruciating when you know that the loss came from an intentional separation. Knowing that someone you love chooses not to be a part of your life can cause confusion, guilt, depression, and feeling stuck. For parents who grieve the relationship status with their adult child, processing emotions is essential. Processing means giving attention and time to their feelings to move forward.
In each stage of grief, the emotions may overwhelm our nervous system if we're not adequately addressing them. Sometimes the loss experience can become a prolonged unsettled state outside the average grief experience. We know this as Complex Bereavement Disorder. It happens when the pain and loss do not subside, and resuming functioning is challenging.
○ Need someone to talk to? → morinholistict...
SHOW NOTES / RESOURCES:
○ Feeling Heartbroken and Alone? How to Pick up the Pieces When You are Estranged:
I'm giving away a copy of my eBook on the topic here → morinholistict...
○ How To Cope When Cut Off And Grieving (Five Essential Tips) (article) → morinholistict...
RECOMMENDED READING:
○ Rules of Estrangement: Why Adult Children Cut Ties and How to Heal the Conflict by Joshua Coleman → amzn.to/3EpK44k
○ Fault Lines: Fractured Families and How to Mend Them by Karl A. Pillmer → amzn.to/3xLtatc
○ Family Estrangement: A matter of perspective by Kylies Agllias →amzn.to/3ZeGxhd
WATCH NEXT:
○ How to Cope with Family Estrangement (video series) → • How to Cope with Famil...
○ Gratitude Journal Benefits + 5 Tips to Help you Start → • GRATITUDE JOURNAL Bene...
MORE WAYS TO CONNECT:
○ facebook → / morinholistictherapy
○ Subscribe on KZfaq → / @youtubemariemorinestr...
○ Need someone to talk to? → morinholistict...
#estrangement #morinholistictherapy
LINK TO VIDEO: • How To Cope When Griev...
DISCLAIMERS:
ESTRANGEMENT AND ABUSE: When considering the possibility of reconciling with an emotionally and or physically abusive great care is required. Reconciling may only be possible if the abuser is willing to work with a family therapist. When there is abuse, individuals estrange out of necessity and self-preservation. Consider if it is safe to resume a relationship with an abusive family member without evidence that the abuser has changed or takes responsibility for their harmful actions.
RESOURCES BY STATE ON VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN:
www.womensheal...
ncadv.org/reso...
National Domestic Violence Hotline - www.thehotline...
AFFILIATE: You should assume that I have an affiliate relationship and/or another material connection to any suppliers of goods or services that may be discussed here, and may be compensated for showing ads or recommending products or services, or linking to the supplier's website.
Morin Holistic Therapy is also a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. *Amazon and the Amazon logo are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc., or its affiliates.
More info about the Amazon Associates Program can be found here: amzn.to/37WfHjR

Пікірлер: 72

@katesmith6250 Жыл бұрын

I have cried till I can't anymore, and then I cry again. BOTH of my daughters are estranged from me. I gave them EVERYTHING, and yet they say I was a bad mother. I am DONE with them! I am so glad they have not been to turn my son against me. I lost my granddaughter too, which is especially cruel. There is something seriously wrong with this generation!

@aquiliaringwood6532 Жыл бұрын

How about my mother has plotted this intricate scheme to victimize her and has turned everyone against me. My sister and her kids, my 19 year old daughter, her co-workers, and Lord knows who else! It is extremely painful. I have absolutely no one. So don't feel bad; because You are Not Alone!!!

@reginamay1 Жыл бұрын

Your right

@therocknrollcook Жыл бұрын

Agree 😢😢😢😢😢

@janehusted9570 Жыл бұрын

Kate, You are so right....There is something SERIOUSLY WRONG with this generation!!!!! I have 6 grandchildren & have been alienated from all of them. My youngest son was found dead last year. Morbid Obesity. My oldest son has 2 wives, which I couldn't comprehend or accept. Who your kids marry can destroy your family.

@gw5479 11 ай бұрын

Kate, speaking from experience. You will never have their sympathy until you understand their blame they've put on you. They are a child, but maybe now they're an adult. Their feelings are just as valid as yours. Try seeking the opposite point of view, the view from your daughters eyes. No matter what, you won't earn them back until likely you understand what their grievances are ownership is taken from both sides. I am not a therapist, but a son who is estranged from his family. None of us are close with each other. There are always reasons. Communication is key. It is not this generations fault, this generation just respects boundaries.

@maryannekendall3344 Жыл бұрын

I was going to over-share but I won't. I'm learning to ask myself more questions about my choices. All I'll say is I am learning how to "Chew on the meat and spit out the bones" when it comes to complaints from my adult children who have chosen to cut me out of their lives. They need validation, respect and love but I can set boundaries for my own emotions and that means not taking everything they say as a clear reflection of who I am. Some of it, yes, but much of it is more about who they are, their needs, and where I lacked meeting those needs. It is about what they are experiencing or have experienced both with me as their mom and others in their lives. I am still a valuable human being who knows how to rise above hardship and learn from it. I hope to learn much through this process and become the best reflection of Christ that I can be, which means dying to self every day and speaking truth over the lie that my children's rejection is idicative of my value. It is not. I am loved and accepted and of worth.

@janehusted9570 Жыл бұрын

Maryanne, LOVE YOUR VALUABLE WORDS OF WISDOM. I have 6 grandchildren who live in the same city. Never see any of them. Who your kids marry can ruin your family.

@janehusted9570 Жыл бұрын

Maryanne, Another fun fact. After 1 yr. no contact from my 21 yr old granddaughter, one of the first things she asked me was, "Grammy, is your condo paid for?" I'm so done with trying to communicate. DONE

@marciakatz5596 9 ай бұрын

You 😊

@marciakatz5596 9 ай бұрын

9😊

@marciakatz5596 9 ай бұрын

😊9o 3:44

@tinamallin2570 9 ай бұрын

Nothing will ever take the pain away of not being able to talk to your kids and have them present when you want them they have to have their own lives, but they should keep in touch and visit regularly

@flowergirl-pp7vz Ай бұрын

@@tinamallin2570 Absolutely!!!

@Kwood10 Жыл бұрын

I’m grateful for this video . I am experiencing estrangement from my adult daughter & it is so painful when they go no contact. I will only send one text saying I hope you are doing well & leave it at that as to push them causes further estrangement. But I need to learn how to be happy in my own life without depending on my adult child for my happiness.

@youtubemariemorinestrangement Жыл бұрын

Dear K: I'm so sorry you are going through this with your daughter. Please do your best to be around those who love and value you. Get support and do things every day that say you matter. You're not alone!! Warmly, Marie

@tinamallin2570 9 ай бұрын

Everyone should be together building each other up and keeping families friends strong always Grief hurts forever

@janehusted9570 Жыл бұрын

I heard from my 21 yr. old granddaughter after 1 yr. Of no contact. One of the first things she asked me was "Grammy, is your condo paid for?" Unbelievable. I didn't have the heart to tell her she'll never see a dime. I could never, would never, ask my grandmother that question!!!!!

@lynj8291 Жыл бұрын

I am very shocked right now because I never seen this coming- this video is very helpful-

@7Butter7fly Жыл бұрын

Thank you very much for these thoughts….and recommendations….estrangement…..just unbelievable hard! 😢

@maryhey7635 4 ай бұрын

This was extremely helpful. I fear I’m caught in limbo. My heart is just broken and I struggle to practice the tips provided. I’m just surviving.

@youtubemariemorinestrangement 4 ай бұрын

Have you thought of getting a therapist? Also pick up my ebook that is a good source of tips to help step forward. Keep me posted on how you are doing. Every day wake with the intention to get through the day with self compassion and intention to keep going. I’m so sorry you’re going through this - try these suggestions please

@darlenemcconnell663 11 ай бұрын

I gave up my car for my daughter after paying for $450 car payments and her letting her car got repossessed. The car I gave her ended up being unsafe so I spent the last $7000 I had on a 2015 Forrester for her, the end of January and the end of June she totaled it. I don’t have a car. I don’t have anybody to go to the store for me or get my mail or even go to doctor appointments and she won’t even talk to me. Thousands and thousands of dollars I have invested in my children for them to eliminate me from their lives.

@mccoolth Жыл бұрын

I wrote a goodbye letter to the ED. It has been four months since I got that "Official Letter" and two years of not seeing the ED. It's time to hand over this estrangement situation to the Universe and stopped expecting and waiting for the ED to decide to reconcile. After writing the letter I felt the heaviness in my heart released. I am preparing to move on with my life without the ED and her children, if that's what she wants.

@DELIVERANCE-TODAY Жыл бұрын

I just want to know she's alive.

@youtubemariemorinestrangement Жыл бұрын

Dear Christ is Risen Evangelism: I understand how horrible not knowing is for you. I suppose this is where our faith comes to help us trust what we do not see. Please do take care of yourself. Warmly, Marie

@charvankerck9617 Жыл бұрын

therapists dont seem to encourage reconcilliation and or forgiveness. may be why so many hangups are still there . no body is perfect. takes two to tango.😅

@lisag9493 Жыл бұрын

Wonderful and just what I needed to hear ,, I have been estranged from my sister for about a year now and it is like having a death ,, worse because there hasn’t been closure ,, I’m becoming to accept the situation and even though she has hurt me and my family,, I realise she has been hurt too ,, it’s a very sad rift especially for our mum

@muller-petersenfamily8499 Жыл бұрын

Ditto😢

@biznachos1 Жыл бұрын

"and even though she has hurt me and my family" Did your mum and dad divorce?

@ansh9236 7 ай бұрын

My 2 sisters estranged themselves from me 20 years ago. I am the eldest. I brought them up because our mother was depressed. I tried to keep the family together, but they just ghosted me when I was of no further use to them. They are educated professional people. I did not know the term estrangement 20 years ago. I was heartbroken because they were more my children than siblings. I was also a parent like figure to my depressed mother. I do not let people into my life anymore for fear they will do the same. I did the best that I could, but I am embarrassed to say it might have been all in vain from my point of view. But I gave them a great start in life even if they have forgotten my labour's on their behalf.

@debwakefield2211 3 ай бұрын

I really appreciate these videos I get a lot out of them.

@youtubemariemorinestrangement 3 ай бұрын

Thank you for writing. I’m so glad they’re helpful.

@debbiebragnalo48 Жыл бұрын

What would you advice to my life of grief? My life is unbearable 14 years ago my beautiful 27 year old daughter was killed in a tragic car accident😢💔 Our only daughter, now our only son and his wife have been keeping our 2 young grandsons away from us💔😢 It's been 8 months of unbearable grief💔😢 Unless you have not loss a child, unless you are living without your living child and grandchildren no one can fully understand💔😢

@kristielogan7199 3 ай бұрын

Yes it's great thank you

@joannegrieco8523 Ай бұрын

This is the worst feeling I've ever felt and I'm grieving the loss but I'm also so worried about her when I let myself think about it because she's chosen her abusive boyfriend and she wouldn't let me help!

@joannegrieco8523 Ай бұрын

I'm always afraid to cry because I feel like if I start I'll never stop crying

@youtubemariemorinestrangement 22 күн бұрын

I promise you will stop. It’s good to let it out.

@hfrt29 8 ай бұрын

I can hear your therapist machine humming. I have one for white noise to help sleep.😂😂😂

@Meanwoman666 Жыл бұрын

I find your Channel and your information extremely helpful. I have an issue though everybody says journal and I can't Journal I have had the crap kicked out of me for journalling. So I have a terrifyingly mental block in front of me. Is there another way besides journalling? If you could address that in a future video I would be extremely grateful

@youtubemariemorinestrangement Жыл бұрын

Hi Tracy: Thank you for writing. I totally get it. Not everyone connects to writing. Another option may be for you to do a drawing journal. You can use stick figures, brief captions, and color to describe your feelings. I will talk about this in a future video. Let me know what you think. Warmly, Marie

@judipfantz247 Жыл бұрын

This all sounds great, but how do u find joy when you have a child who has estranged themselves from you. I have found few ppl. Who have experience this nor understand it. Sadly , none of these suggestions have worked. They seem very simplistic solutions.

@jamiemcinerney3287 9 ай бұрын

You have to be able to see your own part in the distance between you.

@nataliemeenakshithegreat7780 Жыл бұрын

It’s like they took my wombs out it hurts but she is independent she is 22 I am proud of her but it is morally wrong to leave your mom behind it’s not right hey it seriously hurts when your kids leave you are facing a life alone I mean I did not have a kid to be estranged in later life it isn’t right kids don’t live with the Ten Commandments iam sure she loves me and doesn’t call me doesn’t make any sense she stays at my mom her grandmother you traumatized me and was absent emotionally but me I was there for my daughter I told her I love you honey etc no it isn’t right to cut contact with your only parent in fact again it is morally wrong

@nataliemeenakshithegreat7780 Жыл бұрын

Hi just want to recap my daughter unblocked me she told me she misses me and that she loves me sent me picture and I want to keep this healthy relationship iam not pushing I let her do the first step no pressure iam also changing and working on myself so if you have given love to your children they will come back because mine came back still she coming back in September and will leave again because kids leave home and fly off their own wings but I hope we will always keep a Bond thanks guys and pray and nurture yourself don't forget they need a good exemple

@LR-yu3mx Жыл бұрын

I grieve her turning her back on me.

@nataliemeenakshithegreat7780 Жыл бұрын

@@LR-yu3mx honey take it from me take it from someone who has been from abuse from an immature teenage and a 22 year old who just told me couple minutes ago that she loves me and calls me and matures up don't grieve your daughter because she is alive just take this time to only put the energy into you nurture yourself yes you are in pain and I understand your pain when it happens it is like you won't be able to face this injustice and life or whatever but kids love their independence remember when we were their age . We wanted out of the home and fly to life's great adventure iam sure your daughter will realize soon and will come back and hug you tight and sweet she must be in another planet right now you have been a good mother to her right?! I mean we are not perfect but we did our best and it happens to the best of us don't get intoxicated by all these new trends of grieving because you grieve the dead not the alive pray for her happiness and please please take deep inhales and exhales oxygène your brain if you need to talk talk unleash it don't sit alone with your pain look at it like a cloud passing by I was estranged for three months I stopped risperidone my choice had only these videos meditations I don't even go to doctor ramani videos or others no distance yourself from all this noise but know that you are not alone and you have god distance yourself from her do not contact her or write her a letter if she doesn't get it then stop all Contact but don't grieve because your daughter is alive. My kindest blessings to you see I hate these guru or influencers who say tho gd like grieve the loss of a daughter or she is a narcissist she might have some traits but now as hard as it is live this life it's all yours now

@kitfox5082 11 ай бұрын

Pomniki

@hawkspirit8021 Жыл бұрын

Parents have to look inward and ask - what role did I play in this estrangement or cut-off. Then, ask the question, what can I do to change myself. Forget about changing your child. How can you change yourself. How can you change your attitude, how can you see your child in positive ways, how can you appreciate them, and what are you so afraid of will happen by changing your own attitude in the first place?

@darlenemcconnell663 11 ай бұрын

I gave way too much of my self, and didn’t set firm boundaries for them to not take advantage of me.

@tinamallin2570 9 ай бұрын

The role strangers have to impact brain washing our young adult children to ignore there parents is relentless

@melissaorona2834 4 ай бұрын

Nonsense. My son had a great childhood with loving parents, no abuse, no alcoholism, no drug addiction, no adultery, nothing but unconditional love and full support. He is a product of this warped generation's fad of estranging from family and core values to indulge in self-interest and woke bullshit. It has nothing to do with how we raised him.