i'm an INFJ as well and watching the video i cried when you talked about the idea "don't like me" i can so relate to that. I was just recently dating someone who was very vocal about his feelings for me, & i felt so pressured to like him back. he broke up with me because i was cold and distant and now i realize i love him.

I definitely get the whole "don't like me" part. It's not just true with dating, it's true with friends. I have a couple friends who like me way more than I am comfortable. I just think "hang on, I didn't invite you into my inner circle. Don't try to force yourself in there because that won't work." That goes along with the "give me time" part too. With my past and personality, I really need the space to open up before I can really share with people.

You've said everything that I would tell a potential future date, but I would never master up the courage to say it for fear of coming off too narcissistic.

As an INFJ, I found the whole "Don't like me" part very interesting. I've never heard anyone articulate this before and it was really great to hear. I'm not sure if other INFJs can relate to this, but when someone emphatically shows me they like me, or they pay a lot of attention only to me, but I can tell they are not right for me and I have no romantic interest in them, I get really uncomfortable, and then I get annoyed when they don't get the hint that I'm not interested. I think that's where I identify most with the don't like me part, and I'll have to think some more about how I might relate to this at the start of a relationship.

When he said “Don’t like me” I BUSTED out laughing because I knew exactly what he meant before he even had a chance to explain it Also I love that every comment is about the ‘don’t like me’ point 😆

This is perfectly articulated and I relate 100%. & as a fellow INFJ who also loves being understood, THANK YOU.

I'm an INFJ also and I dont think I've ever heard anyone explain the "dont like me" idea you did. I relate to this 100% and it is the very reason a huge amount of my relationships never worked out

Excellent video, thank you! About that 'Don't like me' part. It is so true. If a guy is overly into me and shows me it in abundandt ways, I feel really pressured that I should be able to feel the same way too -- which I propably won't because I'm so slow to let anybody in --, and therefore I may disapper into my cave because of it. What's confusing to me is that despite of everything I just wrote, I need to hear that they like me first, before I can "make the decision" if I like them back. It's like I need to know how hey feel before I can allow myself to have feelings for them. So complicated!! So my adivice: If you like me, let me know, but DO NOT plan our wedding or trips together before I have made it clear I like you back. :D

I think what you mean with "don't like me" is don't do a fake put on to impress me, because I will see through the BS. Be real. I am fine with someone liking me quickly if I feel like they understand me so they know what they are liking, if that makes sense. I give others the space to be intuitive/empathic too (and believe that they can be), so I actually can move really quickly when that "click" occurs, but I have to feel it in my gut. One of my very best friends of over 20 years is someone I liked and liked me from the moment we first met.

Hi :) I wanted to share some thoughts that on the topic of the 6/7 thing. To be honest, I'm worried that any of this may come off as conceited but I don't mean it as such and I'm just hoping for grace in that regard. I love that you mentioned that! I think the language I'd use for it is, "if you like me, be my friend first" or "if you think you like me, get to know me before you decide". I can handle intentions but not expectations, I can handle thoughts but maybe not so much feelings about me until I've had time to decide what I think about it, otherwise, I feel immense pressure to reciprocate and immense shame about how easy it seems for people to feel very strongly about me without me even having considered them as more than a friend. I asked a guy friend once how I could protect people from myself. He told me that it's because I am so intimate so fast that there's nothing I can really do to stop it. As an infj, I am SO aware of my intensity and all my layers. I am often the one that seems to be more reluctant to transition into anything more than friendship. Even the basic level of honesty, genuineness, and confidence a person has to have for a relationship with me to work is often too much for people. There may also be a level of mistrust and instant reservation I have if I feel like the other person feels VERY strongly that they KNOW they like me and want to be with me when I am aware of how much they really don't know about me. In that, I can feel very off-put as I feel the other person may be being completely unknowingly and unintentionally presumptuous. That only makes it harder for the other person. The reality is, the strongest feelings in the world won't make it work, if a person doesn't understand me (even if I also have feelings for the other person) and that takes time to figure out. I also know that specifically went it comes to romantic relationships, if I don't feel a reciprocated respect and valuing of my process ("navigating my intuition"), need for space, reservations (if I have any) or even just I want, I'm likely to get spooked without even giving it a chance . Not just for my own sake but maybe even moreso because I don't want to hurt or allow the other person to get too invested, I may pull the plug immediately and before I have even decided what I think if I feel I'm "liked" too much. There have been some people that I have instantly clicked with and in those circumstances I needed much less space, time, etc but I've realized those VERY few people are ones that I knew instantly saw/understood me. I really enjoyed watching this video and just listening to your perspective! Thank you for sharing it

INFJ male here too and this is frighteningly accurate. Nice job!

I'm a female infj. This info is so right on. Nice job. The one you had a hard time with, "don't like me", I think this can come in the form of someone that might be needy or up your ass from the beginning. They may be into you right away and want to constantly text, see you and so on, not giving space. This goes along with your statement..you feel like you can't let the natural progression happen. Like, "damn, let me miss you. How can I miss you and develop a passion for you if you are constantly in communication with me.". Some extrovert personality types become very hurt by this. They don't understand why we don't want to be in constant communication, if we are interested. I thought I'd add that for an example of that specific point.

So, you totally shed a lot of light on what I was 'vibing' from an INFJ who has shown interest in me (i'm an ENFP). I mean, he really likes me. But seems to hide a lot about himself. I'm just giving him space... good tips. Lots of good information. thanks for sharing!

YES. Oh my god, I actually found myself laughing out loud several times because this was so scarily accurate. Nice to know there's people out there that "get" you. Thanks for this.

& Also, kind of in line with the "don't like me" thing...I don't want people to instantly express they like me without getting to know me first. I guess it's because we know that our emotions and views are a bit complicated and hard to explain. To me it's like "how could you possibly know you like me when you haven't seen even the slightest bit of who I am?" It's kind of self-sabotaging but I will unconsciously disregard the person if they're quick to express interest. If I want someone to like me, I want them to like all the parts of me or at least try to understand them first. I need to know that the other person acknowledges the nuances of my personality and is okay/receptive with it all. Which would obviously take forever to do. The joys of being INFJ. Maybe this is just me but....yeah. I'm done rambling now lol.

Here's a partial list on how to know you might be an INFJ: 1. You make a list before you speak... (Although I know this has nothing to do with your brilliant video, I found it genuinely intriguing that you started off with a list, and before my thought ran away from me, I had to mention it!) Thank you for this video. I do wish I could show this to people (not just those whom I date, but those with whom I interact) to let them know what they're "in for." ;)

I apologize for commenting a second time, but I wanted to add something to your number 6/7 thingy: This is such a complicated issue. It's so true, but it's very difficult to explain. It's not that we (or at least I) don't want you to like me, it's that I don't want you to verbalize it so emphatically and/or so often (in the beginning stages, I mean). I feel like it adds distraction from what I'm trying to do, which is analyze whether or not the relationship is really going to work. When someone says, "I love you" very early in a relationship, it's quite frightening, not because I'm scared of commitment, but because it raises red flags galore; when someone starts verbalizing the "power" of their feelings, or is overt in actions (like calling/texting a ton, wanting to see me every single day, etc.), that can also raise flags, so it confuses me, making me want to back away to process whether this is 1) genuine, 2) coming from a person who is wounded or not, 3) a person I can see myself with for a long stretch of time, 4) coming from someone who has further, deep-seated emotional issues, 5) ..., 6) .... etc. For some people, when they really think things are going great, they want to let the other know they're really "feeling" it, which I can understand, but really causes me to need space to deconstruct the situation further. So, for me, it's not exactly "Don't like me," it's "I can tell if you like me, believe me, so don't confuse me with your words and/or actions." Does that make sense?

This is an excellent string of thoughts. There's a lot of comments about "don't like me," so I'll leave that one alone, but I think your number 4, the "give me time," is VERY important, not only with dating but with close friends, too.

Wow. This was surprisingly spot on. I definitely shy away from people who like me more than I like them. This is probably even the case with acquaintances bc I start to feel so much pressure to reciprocate. And so I basically try to make them dislike me by being a total flake hahahah and that way I don't have to hang out with them as much so its a conveniently dickish way to kill two birds with one stone. I guess it makes me feel like im regulating or equalizing the amount of liking in the relationship? I've also come to see my going slow in a relationship as a test for the other person. If they can't wait for me to get comfortable then they probably weren't right for me anyway bc i need to deliberate on my decisions - though usually when I do decide it doesn't feel as much as a thought out choice as it does an Aha! Moment. Aha! I know what i want now! I waited and the answer came to me! Is that normal??? Hahaha.

Thank you. This helps me understand, in a basic way, why I've pushed most people away throughout my life. And the reason that I actually opened up so fully to the man I'm in love with now. I've often felt horrible that I seemed to hate everyone so much that the minute they'd try to get close to me I'd slam the door and hide. And for the reasons you've said. I'd suddenly feel this weight on my shoulders that I couldn't handle.

This is so dead on!! Thank you for putting into words. Dating can be tough when your an INFJ...this helps explain to those who aren't...and helps us INFJ's better understand ourselves :) You Rock!

#7. Mhm. I shall speak this in a way it seems I am actually talking to someone: It's not that i dont want you to like me. Like/Love me. Do what you will. Appreciate me. But dont be obsessive or overly affectionate and attached. Depend on me but dont, because I won't always live up to your expectations even though I try so hard to not let you down. It gets overwhelming enough just knowing you like me. So. Stahp. Just be your own person and love yourself before you try coming onto me at all. I want to be able to love and break up with no hard feelings. XD

I appreciate this video, thanks for sharing.. I'm currently dating an INFJ girl, and this made a lot of sense with her in mind.. I think I've intuitively done pretty well. Perhaps the only mistake I made, was the 7th point, in telling her I like her before she was ready to reciprocate. But I did make it clear before telling her, that I understood she wasn't at the same place and that that's okay and she shouldn't feel guilty... I wonder if that mitigated some of the "damage" ..

Love love love it. The feeling you get when your jumbled thoughts are put into words on a video is amazing. And no truer words spoken at that. Thanks for the video!

Hi I love your videos! Just watched them all in a row. I just discovered Myers-Briggs personality types a month ago and it really opened up a whole new world for me. I myself am I INFJ which is was a total relief for me to actually know that they are people like me out there. I've always felt like the odd one out, now I understand why, with our type being one of the rarest. I find it difficult to find friends, but I make an effort and I am struggling to choose a career, stuck between what I want to do and what is more logical financially. But it was soo nice hearing from another INFJ, I related almost 100% to what you were saying. Great Videos, you should make some more often ! :)

All the points were spot on! Especially the "Don't like me" part was hilariously true. Thanks for this vid.

THANK you SO much for being so descriptive and putting such much in to this video. I am glad you understand yourself to this level! Wonderful!

This was amazing! Thank you. I finally feel normal! Being an INFJ is not easy so having someone articulate what you're feeling and thinking so you can share with others is truly awesome!

Loved this video. I am an INFJ as well and I found this extremely accurate.

You did an amazing job explaining this! You even handled some points that I had a hard time understanding about myself and now it makes sense. Great job!

Thanks for putting this out there, and so articulately, Stoofbird11. _Very_ enlightening! Without such education and without being INFJs, how could the rest of us ever correctly guess, 'Make me feel alone' and 'Don't like me'??? This must be such a huge help to so many INFJs and so many who don't want to run off any for lack of understanding those needs. For what it's worth, I don't think you or any other INFJs should be embarrassed about No.7, any more than someone with neuralgia or another 'surface' hypersensitivity who might ask a date or companion to please not press on a sore spot or to please speak at a lower volume so as not to rattle you. This need is not something anyone should take any more personally than those medical conditions, it doesn't sound to me (though I can understand being shy about this, or any, 'big reveal'.) And from what I've read in INFJs' comments below as well, it seems to abundantly be in everyone's best interest that this sensitivity be more widely recognized because it sounds like its being unknown has caused a lot of INFJs sorrow too--has caused them to have prematurely run away from or shut down on some people they might have come to want to 'bring inside' had they been able--in a way, sensorially--to bear sticking around; finding out what that other person was made of.

Thank you, thank you! It feels good to not feel alone in this! You have eloquently described what I always go thorough to the detail! Initially, it felt bizarre how much I related. Keep sharing your insight with us!

I happened across this INFJ pin while and wanted to say Thank you ... there are no words to express the fullness in which you relay he importance in the understanding of the INFJ's complex truth. It is lost on so many bc they take for granted the good that is given from the INFJ yet get tossed to the side at times bc there is no balance between our intensity to love with a genuine heart and the fact others are not always able nor are they willing to invest themselves in the same way

I am an INTJ female in a relationship with an INFJ man and I want to make sure I am doing everything possible to make him feel safe/comfortable/understood/appreciated, etc. As an INTJ, this begins with research (of course!) and I have found your video to be very helpful. You are knowledgeable and candid and have a casual but effective way of getting your point across. It also does not hurt that you look like an emo version of Colin Farrell. Thank you for furthering my knowledge today and keep up the good work!

Man - thanks for your great video! I'm a male ENFP who has just started dating a female INFJ & everything u said makes sense!! Being an ENFP, I NEED to understand people...but INFJs seem baffling lol! I can get no sense of if our relationship is going to go anywhere (by which I mean get started!) but from your vid it seems I just have to be patient and give her time. Your best tip was the one on 'not liking' - I totally dig that based on the way we seem to have interacted so far - she so totally reads me it's like telepathy...it didn't feel right to come across too much as liking her and now I know I don't need to... Anyway thanks for putting this vid together - it's certainly helped ease my bafflement!!!

This is all so true of me. You helped me more understand a lot about myself. Thank you!

I just met an INFJ online. I feel both excited and daunted. INFP here.

This was awesome. I've always had an idea if an INFJ conference where we could all gather for once and become even better and stronger INFJ's.

I just really want to thank you for making this video. I haven't been in the dating pool really long, and it took me a long time to even get in there, but I never really felt I understood why I couldn't feel as deeply for my partner as they seemingly did for me. Your video made it easier for me to identify exactly what my problems have been, concretely what has made me put on the breaks and pull out of these relationships.

Wow, so perfectly understood! I'm an INFJ and I've been learning about myself more and understanding myself to help others understand me better. Great video!!!!

As an INFJ, I was so happy watching this and again feeling understood so thank you so much for making this video 😂 I couldn’t stop screaming ‘yes!!!’ to the ‘don’t like me’ point, couldn’t be more accurate and I think you articulated all the points and factors really well!

When I've tried to 'put the brakes on', when things are moving too fast, people think I am dumping them, and that's not what I meant at all! 😨

You have a lot of good thoughts. I am 100% in your corner on understanding being a "love language". I met a woman about 4 years ago who just really understands me. We just always clicked from the beginning...Unfortunately she wasn't interested in a relationship, but it has killed my dating prospects since then because I'm looking for someone who can share that level of understanding. I have dated, but the longest was 5 months before I stopped refuting my initial judgment that our relationship wasn't ever going to be equivocal. It sucked because she was a nice girl, but it wasn't fair that I didn't see a future with her when she believed that I did.

Excellent explanation. Thank you for taking the time to make this video. Definitely resonates with my INFJ nature.

Agreed. Thank you for this video. It's funny to watch your mannerisms and whatnot as you articulate these things as well as the way you word things and the whole 6 and 7 dilemma. I do the same things.

Bravo on this entire video and the tips shared. You said pretty much everything I've thought and felt about on this matter. Thanks much!

This was actually really helpful in understanding my friend better thank u so much

Great video--pithy but thorough. It's nice to see something from you, and I can relate to most if not all. Cracked me up when you cut at #7; I was like, "Aw man, I wanted to see your first take trying to explain that one...". :P

Wow! Thank you for sharing your interpretations of us INFJ's! Everything you have said in this video is 100% accurate in describing me.

Seems so tough! So complicated. I really like an INFJ right now! Our first date was so mentally and emotionally satisfying, I almost feel unprepared! I am ENFP. What is your opinion and views on such a match?

#7. dont like me you were spot on with that and I am exactly the same way. If someone approaches me showing interest, I immediately hold back my flirty side because I dont ever want to give the impression that I reciprocate their interest. I almost never go on any dates because of this and dont want to feel pressured into liking someone because they like me. It's so much easier just getting along with someone as friends first and let feelings develop on their own without the pressure of labelling your emotions "I like you" or "I dont like you".

WOW...INFJ male here ... I have had this very same list and communicated it to my real intimates...its like hearing my mind life experience talk. Thx for making this...the don t like me is the only thing I wish others knew about me. Be respectful and no more or be authentic and speak your truth. Doing so will earn infj trust once patterns become more predictable. It takes time to know us.

Wow! Dating an INFJ guy and this was so helpful! Thanks for the advice :)

Thank you for posting this video. I recently found out my personality type and this video describes my exact feelings on relationships. That feeling of wanting to be understood is very big for me, glad I'm not alone! (Although I've read that we are considered rare €. €)

Yes yes and yes everything you said is so accurate especially the “don’t like me” part, my ex an estp was going too fast for me to develop real feelings so I kept absorbing his “emotions” and confusing them with mine and it felt like it was too much for me to handle and he wasn’t very understanding since the closest thing he had to feelings was being horny, I also didn’t feel comfortable at all I constantly kept thinking about what should I say to not make him think I was boring but my mind was always blank and he did manipulate me to open up about my secrets which I wasn’t comfortable enough to do so and at the end I door slammed him and I feel nothing towards him anymore I’ve never felt more free than I did the day I ended it and single life has been great but now it might take me a long time to feel prepared for another relationship because I need to know myself more and keep my limits unbreakable to be in one again

Omg - you said 'different from' instead of the usual American 'different than' (which I find so irritating and illogical)... How bloody refreshing!! I'm so pedantic sometimes. 😊

ENFP here! :) You are very well spoken, thanks for the video.

Hi there. Number 7 makes sooooooooooo much sense. Thanks for expressing it despite all. I really appreciate it. I used to compare myself as phoebe in Charmed when she got her empathic power and couldnt separate herself from the guy 's love she wanted to break up with. Anybody remember?:)

Wow, the way you speak is like how i speak too. The mini-tangents/explaining multiple aspects at once, giving more detail to the things we say so as not to get misconstrued. Do other infj's feel like you have this same speech pattern? I mean i absorb other ppl's manner of speaking and cant help adopting it around them, but i know my default is like this.

Yes. "Fake" people literally disgust me.

Holy cow: "Don't like me." That's IT, the thing that has spoiled so many budding relationships! Few things are as uncomfortable as hanging out with someone who is moony for you before you get to know each other. The superficiality of their crush / lust / whatever it is invariably ends up pissing me off and then I feel bad for pushing away someone who liked me.

hello! okay this was a pretty comprehensive and well-explained video. it's all the things i have felt but never have been able to express so coherently. but we seem like a rather "difficult" lot to be with hehe...at least initially. i think it gets better as the familiarity increases, like everything else. and i get that dichotomy perfectly - sometimes people alter themselves a certain way to be around us but that's exactly what we would dislike. anyway, thank you for uploading this video, it's really helplful. :)

This was ENTIRELY helpful.

Excellent video. Totally going through this right now, started"seeing" a female infj, im a male intj myself...i Absolutely like her too much lol...instantaneously have had Several hour conversations, lots of texting...she became distant this week but is still keeping communication daily even though i always have to initiate. The "dont like me" seems super applicable here, especially as our last date ended somewhat romantically,only to be followed by "cooled down" texts. Hmm

Wow great video, I'm an INTJ male dating an INFJ female and this is spot!

great video. this was so helpful to me. I am currently interested in this INFJ (met online) and we will be meeting in person soon. thanks, ENFJ

Sheesh. You just explained me, and even I'm exhausted haha.

i appreciate what you're saying, but having all of these rules, behaviors and thoughts seems exceptionally complicated and I can't imagine anyone unfamiliar with MBTI trying to follow these rules. if someone were to meet all of the criteria, what would the reward be? hearing all of guidlines this seems like a headache

From another INFJ, nailed it on all points.

really cool. feel like that too !! thanks

I’m definitely in need of my own space and time, since some of my close friends are extroverts I always feel the pressure to stay contacted with them and chat with them on a daily basis which is extremely draining, I really love them but I always feel guilty for wanting to have some time for myself and I’m afraid they won’t understand me

Number 7 makes sense! I feel the same way and I'm a girl.

My husband and I are both INFJs. We were friends at first but when we first started dating he told me he loved me within the first month. It kinda freaked me out. I can see that both of us were very typical in our reactions towards how we felt towards each other, but I had had toxic relationships in the past and his very honest and sincere declaration terrified me. Luckily I knew he was being honest so I stayed but I told him to stop telling me that until he really thought about what love meant to him. He did stop saying it.. in English. He changed to French or Arabic instead :P. Married 2 years now.

Wow, I'm not an INFJ, but I've never heard of anyone else who understands that last point, I really thought it was a personal thing. But it's always something I struggle with. It doesn't just put the pressure on though; I feel like I'm super aware of how that person feels about me so it makes me super self conscious and then I feel like when I'm with that person I'm always the topic at hand and it totally triggers "flight" mechanism for me. Later I'm always mad like, "Ugh, I felt like I spent the evening with myself because we brought the attention back to me the entire time!" I want things to feel really mutual and like the other person and I can explore each other and who we are without it being totally focused on being infatuated with each other. So complicated, if only it could be like grade school again!

Great job!

Just be yourself: I recently just ended a 30day relationship with someone who moved in, and asked me to marry him/was engaged. I ended it when it came down to I didn't make him feel loved, That he declaired he had to change himself, his interest, and what he liked to please me. I cannot stand seeing another human being being someone else to please another human being. It make's me feel like I need to change myself, cause's depression, and makes me unworthy. It begins a huge complicated mess, and I start to feel trapped, tired, unwilling to even try anymore. Have a soul: Beyond true. I need to be able to see the soul of another person, to know they hold the same strong values, that we are on the same path & can contribute to one anothers lives. See the bigger picture: We are going to same way, we can do things together, we can acheive goals together. Give me time: I need time to process things, I need time to have conversations in my head, me time to think. When someone jumps me with a topic that is something I need to deeply think about, or they are expressing their feelings. I need time to take in everything they are saying, and feeling so that I can process it. When I feel like I am being jumped, or being told answer me now, I freeze up. Make me Feel Alone: I like to be alone, but I dont like to feel alone. When someone can't understand my emotions, or how I feel even when I articulate it multiple ways, my backs against the wall, and Im heading towards the door. Let Me Navigate my intuition: When I am ridiculed for my beliefs, left to answer NOW verses time to think, or told the way I feel or think is wrong. Can't stand it, walls go up, I don't feel like I am being taken seriously, and I'm out.. Don't Like me: WOW! When someone decides to not like me, not like the way I feel, tells me I'm wrong for my feelings. Takes that empty love, and shows its truth. To mean The idealize me, and then slowly cut me down to the point they turn me into someone I was not. It drives me into a wall. They'll usually try to come back, and lie their way into my heart again. Thats when my wall goes up, because I can see the truth of it that they were in love with the idea of me, and the idea of marriage/love and it literally had nothing to do with me in the first place. It's heart breaking because I do begin to feel something wrong with me that I couldnt give this person what they needed. An I have to walk away from it all because I have to value myself. Psychological awareness: When someone is not aware of their bad behaviors, or the way they are talking to me, or belittling me. I am very forgiving, and understanding. I insist on conversations that are heated to begin and end with " I feel", not "you feel". Open conversations about flaws, how you react, and being able to work on those things Im all in, I can help you/you help me, and go from their. My nature is commitment, and long term, but not to the point were I feel like I'm tossing myself under a bus, or to be walked on over & over again. Anyways..Feel yeah, sounds pretty true. Good luck..

So adorable!

Hello my lovely, fellow INFJ. Thanks for sharing! I've always been interested in my personality type and I'd like to share random facts about myself & what I've observed from other INFJs in person :o) 1. Small talk = superficial talk. We will try to engage, to some extent, but if we don't hear the response we want, we won't be genuine ourselves 2. We listen to anything - check your playlist! 3. We're more than listeners - but we actually pick up peoples cues, gestures, and their intentions 4. Hopeless romantics, love the idea of it but when faced with a real chance, we tend to freak out when we actually sense a 'good gut feeling' about someone 5. We tolerate with people's cr-p, but things that seem 'trivial' to others seem to bother us deeply 6. We have the need to apologize for everything (before we even say it) 7. We go the extra mile for everything, especially for others, even if we had just met them 8. We have pretty high standards on ourselves and others which lead to endless disappointments 9. You believe the good in others and people think you're too naive (but you;'re far from it) 10. Although we seem reserved, serious, shy at times, we are surprisingly playful and childlike 11. We seek jobs that fulfil our innermost passion (although it is a huge struggle to discover this) And once we acknowledge our 'purpose', we will devote to it 12. Someone telling a white lie to our face hurts more than being ignored or rejected 13. Relationship motto: "Two people love each other only when they are quite capable of living without each other but choose to live with each other" 14. It's 2 AM and without sleep, we do not function!!! and turn to stubborn creatures.. 15. We are people pleasers - good & bad (mostly bad) 16. Don't even start with injustice.. 17. Everyday you see pain 18. We like to try new hobbies, even if we know we will be horrible at it Actually I'm still exploring if I am an INFJ or ENFJ. I believe I am both and still be myself (:

You have to be an Enneagram 4 if ever there was one. I don't disagree with anything you've said, all seems spot on to me but as an ENTP I can tell you that you're failing to see a larger perspective. Your video is from a stand point of how others can adjust to be with an INFJ but relationships don't take place in a vacuum, they're a dynamic thing that takes on a life of its own. I think a more useful thing would be to make a video (I'm totally down to do it with you) that helps empower INFJs to be healthier, to speak their needs more clearly, to own their flaws, to learn to set healthier boundaries. Much of this is based on an unhealthy INFJ (and a partner understanding what that looks like) versus an INFJ that has put in the self work to come to a relationship as half of a team. Great job on the video as a side note, you did a good job of expressing yourself and while I'm sure you're rather critical it was nice to watch and I'm gonna check out some of your others.

1:44 I'm glad someone else mentioned something... Thought I was going crazy. Sucks when your BS detector goes wrong though because you have already felt so strongly about something and then you're like "oops."

In regards to the “don’t like me” does that also include wanting to get to know your brain? Like just desperately wanting your mind to open up? How am I supposed to approach that as an ENTP female who needs all the information as soon as possible... and wants to test boundaries as to whether you can intellectually keep up with my train of thought??

Do you think an INFJ can see through other INFJs or does it like "cancel out"?

Hey my question is to you all , what do you think you bring in to the relationship ? Apart from waiting , pulling away , dissecting future date etc . sorry but just trying to learn more about it ....

you talk in circles just like me. such is life right?right? did you see that there we;re trying to confirm and mirror what we know to be true

Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this! I would totally agree as a fellow INFJ. #7 made me laugh... yep! yep! But the moment the interested guy turns down the "liking"... the pressure we INFJs feel... I go weak in the knees. It drives me nuts. Like a moth to the flame, I want him! I wish it didn't have that effect! Do other INFJs experience this?

The comments are so well articulated... typical INFJ stuff haha!

I totally agree for number 7! And I thought it was just me being weird

What you said makes INFJ appear to be a very difficult person to date, but it's true, especially #7. haha... It's unfair for the other party to expect others to be as intuitive as us to know when to love or not to love, but I guess that's how we roll. :p

This is good...thanks!

Hello Stoofbird11-I am a female INFJ who just watched and listened to your video on 'How to Date an INFJ.' I loved your articulation of what makes us tick (and not tick). I am in a latter stage of life and still single due to not being authentically understood, and, therefore not able to reach my desired level of intimacy with a man. I retreat to solitude because I am exhausted from other peoples' problems and emotions. I find the dichotomy so unfair! Others get empathy and compassion from us and we get criticism and judgement from others. So tired.

7:05 Nailed it.

thanks for explaining number 7 g i get it now

well said sir!

You babble like me. I love it Hahaha Right on. (:

Infj_a/InfjT.... It was the result of mpti last time... is it possible to be a combination of two kind for the same persona...

i like ur explanations ...thx for that

But you did a really good job :) Very accurate.

you understand...

great vid!!

Ooh and I don't know if you know about HSP ( Highly Sensitive Person) but you might benefit from looking up on it, I think some INFJs might also be HSP :)