I have lost my mother to suicide, my sister-in-law died in a house fire, and my brother overdosed on Rx pills... My advice to all from dealing with the tragedies in my own life is this: Chin up! You can choose to allow the sadness to take over your life OR you can choose to live life to the fullest, everyday! Have fun, smile, laugh because the one thing that we will always take with us in the end it the experiences we have shared in this life. The energy of 'love and life' is eternal. I choose life and I choose to smile and hopefully make people laugh through my channel. Grief can not take over your beautiful energy unless you allow it to. So don't ;) If you're here then chances are that you are trying to fight the negative energy and surpass the stages of grief with flying colors. I believe in you and I know you can do it! Keep doing what ever it is that makes you smile everyday!! I love all of you

My mom died earlier this week. I need prayers for my emotions and to my mother. 💔💔💔

you lost me at "you want to grieve or not grieve" I don't WANT any of this! Losing my child has been the hardest thing to carry in this life. I do not have a choice. My soul misses his presence. Sadness comes from missing his smile, his voice, his laughter, his hugs. No amount of choosing will change that.

Helpful video. Only thing missing is the inclusion of a reason for feeling sad is that you miss them; miss being with them, talking to them, their laugh, their words, their presence...

Thank you , I agree with what you are saying. I lost my husband of 44 years whom I loved with all my heart only last month . I invited grief and pain for a couple weeks and then I decided that Enough was enough. I could not bear this pain anymore. I now focus on gratitude for all we shared, for the good death he had , for my belief that we will meet again , and for the future in front of me. I still miss him but I am feeling much better

I lost my mom a couple of months ago and this video puts things in perspective. Noah your videos help so much. Thank you!!

Change the way you think, changes the way you feel, changes the way you act. Within a few minutes in I got it. I taught others how to do this? But I also taught the stages of grief. I did not change the way I thought about grief. I lost my daughter Jan 2, 2015. The first time I laughed and had a good day. I felt guilty. As I have struggled through this yr. I have briefly caught a glimpse of where this is going. Thank you. I know someone that needs this.

I know you mean well, but you have simplified grief to a point where you are ignoring so much of it. At least when it comes to losing a spouse. I am able to feel happy again and feel joy again since my husband died and I don't feel guilt for it but there is so much more than sadness with grief. There is yearning, there is anger, your hormones are all kinds of messed up, there are physical changes with your body, for a lot of us there is shock and/or PTSD, there is so much stressful paperwork that lasts for months or years, there is financial strain, there is cognitive overload (what some people call widow brain or grief brain), etc. It's not just sadness. It's everything. This is way too simplified and it tells me that you don't understand grief in a way that is actually all that helpful. I appreciate the effort but I would recommend that you study grief a bit more than the surface level.

Noah We lost our 36 year old son this past Christmas and having a very hard time. This video has helped somewhat but it is awful hard to not run those terrible thoughts of the morning we got the news. I will continue to try to practice this to the best of my ability, that is what he would want us to be happy.

I’m grieving the loss of my daughter, I’m an open minded person and usually a positive person. I needed to hear this video because it works for me. I can’t change what has happened or go back in time, and I have no idea what changes will occur tomorrow, so I’m left living in the right now. In that I take inventory daily to heal myself - I ask myself am doing OK in this moment, I’m breathing, I’m keeping busy and I’m moving forward. With every day my tears are getting less. But I do admit that I’ve cried a river over not having my daughter to hug, laugh with or just to look at, my heart is still hurting in an actual physical way.

Thank you for helping. My dog just passed away. I chose the sad story, but after this, i started thinking of that my dog is going to happily live in heaven, the happy story.

Thankyou, it has helped me as I lost my 18 years old son in Jan this year. It is unselfishness to feel happy!

Obviously this guy has NOT lost someone he was close to . We don’t hurt cause we try to prove we love someone .

I lost my 15-year-old dog two days ago. I'm still feeling very sad. Some of the things addressed in this video helped me make sense of grief, so thank you.

The rational mind is the best way of dealing with painful emotions. I love these videos because they are ultra-rational, yet compassionately delivered.

I love you Noah! Thank you so much. I've been brokenhearted from a breakup for almost a year now and you've helped me feel so much better. I'm so glad I randomly stumbled upon your videos.

I lost my 13 year old son 12 years ago. I still can not 'live' and feel I have destroyed loved one's lives, including my remaining children, because of my inability to cope. I feel still that I utterly Can Not Live without him in my life and I will be crushingly broken until I die, while I go through life's motions, continuously 'living' every day as ordinary, Only for the sake of my 2 currently teenaged children who lived without me for a few years physically because of my 'grief' and though I am with them physically now, I completely 'fake' that I'm OK, out of the guilt of not being there before, but I'm so torn, shredded, and crushed every single waking moment of my life. How pathetic now that I think of it, I'm here trying to shower my children with love, and the best I can manage to provide is an existence of poverty with the 3 of us living in a tiny camper, all because their mom loves their brother so much that she can't face life without him even after 12 years. My son's passing has affected several lives, so drastically and detrimentally that I don't for a second think any of us will Ever be OK again. Sometimes some peoples lives turn out the way they do not because of our own decisions or efforts, but because of things and events out of our control simply 'happening' to us. Add in the lack of Love or Support from family or even a good friend and the world is dark, cold reality in which you have no choice but to exist in. My wish is that anyone experiencing loss and grief on such a scale would have At Least 1 person in their life to Truly Love them, because I know too well unfortunately that, THAT 1 Person could make All The Difference in the world!! May God's Merciful Strength and Comfort Reach All In Such A Need!

I appreciate your insights. However, I think it's dangerous to try to find a "quick-fix" for grief. It takes as long as it takes and in this wanting to get over everything NOW society, grief does not fit that mould. Grief if NORMAL. People need it normalised. They don't need to feel as if there is something wrong with them for going through an entirely natural process due to not having a person or pet or whatever it may be, no longer with them. Grief is NOT sadness!!!! Grief is grief.

You doing good job helping other people!

This is the best video anyone can ever watch - whether you are grieving or not. Thank you from my heart.

Hi Noah, I enjoy your work, with its heavy cognitive bias. There is a lot to learn from this and your delivery is personable and easy to digest. Most of what you say here is helpful. However, I don't believe that grief is merely a collection of thoughts, assumptions and predictions ... and to assert this may pressurise people who grieve into not feeling it's ok to grieve (a belief which is rife in western cultures). Separate any animal from a significant attachment figure and it will display signs of distress, grief, longing and searching behaviours. We are biologically programmed to attach to others (which enabled homo sapiens to adapt and survive) so we are hard wired to experience grief following loss. I think it's important to recognise this. I think it's important experience and to be fully present in our grief, and to recognise that it is part of normal human experience. Sure, as time passes, we adapt to the loss and are able to appreciate the many gifts we gained from loving someone who has passed ... but this process takes time and cannot be hurried. I think the ideas you share in your video are helpful, although I also believe it's important to remember that grief is natural and not merely a distorted perception of reality. Best wishes, Tamsin.

My Grandma passed away while I visited her in hospital, just two days ago, and this video really helped. Thanks.

My Grandmother died yesterday... The way you look about feeling grief is logical and will help me a lot dealing with it, thank you!

Thank you so much for this. My dear 22 year-old son died 6 weeks ago in a car accident. Your video was one of the first about grief I'd watched. It fits well with my faith view of the world and this is what I know my son would want for me. I believe things happen exactly the way they are meant to happen. I believe God is in control. Since this is the case I can live in peace. Of course, I will feel sad and miss my son. I will cry and feel bad sometimes but I no longer fear and give more power to the emotions. Because ultimately my beliefs cause my emotions (and I believe my son is in a better place). To live with joy is what my son would want and I want this too. It is not easy but your work is very helpful. Bless you!

I lost my partner last week. The near constant pain is dreadful and very disabling, I simply miss her so much. I am ok with distractions but grief plays a cruel trick and she seems alive and then I must re-live that awful day.

It is important to understand that grief is not only sadness.

my dog disappeared. I am sad beyond words. I cannot stop thinking about bad things will happen to him. and I miss him dearly. .........I appreciate your videos, but I am still crying

Thank you. I have lost family members and watching your videos helps me see the positive in seemingly entirely awful situations. Keep it up!

My mother is slowly slipping away from me... I feel devastated at times and it makes my heart ache so much . This video opened up my eyes a bit .

This guy has never experienced the loss of a husband or wife.

I recently lost my aunt. She raised me since I was a baby, she was like my mother. It was completely unexpected, she was a very sweet person. I took it so hard, harder than her own two sons or her grandsons. I was close to her. I was tired of being sad because she never wanted that for me. This video helped so much. It targeted everything that was affecting me. I never thought twice about it that I was doing wrong when feeling sad, just because I thought it was caring for her. Also thanks for telling me that it's ok to be sad. after listening to this once, I feel better now knowing how to tackle my depression head on. It's still gonna be a long road, but I feel much more better now to go on with the future.

My wife died too soon of cancer, three months ago. I am lost but this video has helped me with my grief. Thank you.

Thank you so much. You have helped me so much from losing my 5 siblings. Although I'll never forget them but at least I can be a happy kid agin 🙂

in the last 2 years I lost 2 pets and my jack russell was 17 years old and my beagle at 9 both to cancer. I mourned bad. To much and to long. I lost my dad on the 11th and I'm actually greatful now I went through it. It's helped Me cope better with this major life changing loss.

My mom was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer in Jan of 2014. I was a Career Bank Manager for 20 years. Once she was diagnosed, we immediately began chemotherapy. Already Stressed at the Bank, her illness only added to the level of stress i was feeling. I would open the bank, then drive her to chemo, then back to the bank again to close it then back to her house to make sure she was ok. I never went home to my wife and kids. This went on for one year. In Jan of 2015, I retired from my job to care for her. Unfortunately, she passed the very next month. Now i was left without the one person i loved so dearly and without my job. Well, I have thought of her everyday for the past year thinking of all of the things i could have done differently to help her. I felt sad for her and me. Well, if i change my story, maybe i will feel better. My mom never experienced pain throughout her ordeal. Additionally, I honestly felt that the stress that my job had placed on me was going to kill me. So maybe if this hadn't happened, I may not have retired and would have eventually succumbed to the stress that I swear was going to kill me soon. Finally, I am now retired and my mom is at rest. Maybe it was meant for me to view this video. Thanks you so much.

My brother died suddenly, 10 months ago, although it has been awful, I had been finding solace in the fact that nothing could have been done. I recently found out his doctor told him to "stop all medications" before foot surgery, without checking to see what medications he was on. He had been on heart medication to prevent sudden cardiac arrest. He died of sudden cardiac arrest. Telling my family this will just bring extra heart ache to them, and legal recourse would prolong the grief. So I am not sharing this with them. But I feel like my grief has started all over again, and now I have added anger to it. Yes, my story has changed. But I don't know how to change it to something more manageable.

I lost my husband in 2016 to cancer and never got. help for it I miss him so much I feel so lost with out him

Noah I appreciate your effort. Unfortunately grief is not that simple. Your perspective is as simply an infantile.

This man is living in an alternative universe. To suggest I wanted to suffer, to have agonizing grief, is an insult to the truth. The sadness that soon became so painful I thought I might have a heart attack is not what i wanted in any way. It simply came and often took ownership of my waking awareness. Thank goodness, with help, and doing things that were strongly recommended to me, I eventually passed beyond that most terrible hurt of my life, and gradually, that hurt has lessened. I wish it would completely leave me, as I know my wife would not want me to suffer even another minute if that could be so. This man is either deeply misguided who understands little about grief, or is an out and out charlatan. I'll let all of you decide. Shame on you sir, for so insulting those who suffer so terribly. Shame on you!

I know you are trying to help but.....Maybe if you were to bring your own experience of grief to the table I hear a lot of insensitivity. It is my experience that when people tell me how to get over the grief of my husband , and they have not had the same experience, I tend to get a little angry. I thought I understood until it happened to me. I am not feeling compassion I’m hearing preaching.

Mom 9-22-18 Very very very very close..... This feeling won’t ever go away. 😪

to say that grief is about the sadness for the lake of future interation isn't always true sometimes its about right now in the moment wishing they were here. just because life will have ups does not mean there are no down, and there could be a lot times. my experance with grief its like a wave it hits you and you do keep getting waves sometimes they change to be less sometimes more. but just because you have ups does not you dont have downs and it also doesnt mean that you arent selfish to say you wish they were here.

I love this video, it gave me a lot of comfort. Thank you. I love all your videos - your innovative refreshing look on things are outstanding. You're amazing!

I'm so lonely and sad... my boyfriend of 16 yrs died a month ago. I feel so alone and lonely. I am so afraid especially now that christmas and new year are coming... everyday we always talk...

my grandma died yesterday. she was my best friend.. im all alone. this feels like a nightmare.

Thank you. That did comfort me. I appreciate your words very much.

Thank you a lot, Noah!! This siuation of grief came to me too. Your videos are super helpful, you are the first person I think of when having a bad time and I can t get over it myself. Your ideas are really unique and wour words really portretize the way the mind works!!

Thank you for sharing such valuable information pertaining to grief. Keep soaring!

I don't feel sad for people that die because i know they're are just fine. It's missing them that is what i struggle with. Knowing i will never see them again is what makes me sad. Any advice?

Thanks for your caring heart and ability to teach what you have learned.

I'm so glad that my dad was strong and somewhat looking forward to some peac. he seemed just fine mentally and emotionally I on the other hand emotional and filled with fear. I'm appreciating this video

Noah, my daughter was killed seven weeks ago by a distracted driver. I am raising her two children that were also hurt in the accident. Some days I feel I can't go on but make myself because of the kids. I watched your video once but feel the need to watch it again. Thanks for what you do 💕

My grandmother currently has 6 months to live. she has liver cancer for the second time, and lung cancer also just showed up awhile ago. I'm a weird type of person, and I try to be happy, but not feel anything because of a bad past. All I feel I can do now is try to be there for her. I know when she leaves me, it will be the ultimate crusher, but I need to deal with it somehow, so I decided to think ahead and prepare. I'm so sorry for all of your losses. stay strong peeps.

This is empowering! Thank you!

Hey, Everyone, Go tell a loved one you love them right now. RIGHT now. Because they won’t always be there. Trust me on that one..

my dad passed away the night between oct 16 and 17... im completaly lost i feel like it's not real i can't dealing with that ... I MISS HIM SO BAD :'( :'( :'(

You are amazing, this is amazing! Thank you for sharing.

This is so helpful on any loss. I came hear about grief over losing my job and other loss events. Thank you so much

This video helped me so much 🙏🏽 thank you. I’ve had a break through dealing with my loss after watching this video.

Thank you so much, sadly I can no longer see my grandma and this really really helped thank you!

Thank you Noah...keep giving courage to people :) Being happy is the right of every human being as long as they don't hurt anyone and they should not feel guilty for this. Life is unpredictable, good people die every day but their families must go on...

This is great how you took your time and patience to break it down into a lot of digestible pieces and examples.

Such relief... to listen at you! Thanks so Much...

Very good video .. a true gift for everyone willing to listen. Thank you

From my understanding grief is totally unexpected. There is no conscious "I want to feel sad", "I should grieve" etc.. it just takes over. Its not about duration etc.. Its about not being able to maybe help the person, or help their suffering, or coping with the loss of that being from the family etc... A family member is like a part of oneself. Its like a part of oneself dying.. In may be illogical... If they have been sick it could be the build up of hope or worry. It might be the suppression of worry or fear being released. Its like a person who has lived with two arms their hole life and then loosing an arm. Thats like a family member. We dont just say.. "I should be sad I lost my arm".. Our whole world would be turned upside down. Coming with that reality... dealing with that loss... that is grief. All that care about that thing... or all that was taken for granted. It could be the concern for the other family members and how they will cope in the future. Past present future all sudenly very real and blunt. That is grief. All depends on the individual circumstance. For grief of someone passing.. they live on in our hearts... the way I found works is saying or doing all the things maybe I couldn't say or do... and sharing my love with them... connecting with my love for them. Love heals.

Thank you. I really needed this.

Thank u for this. U just don't know how much this means to me. New fan here..

Thank you so much for your caring work. I feel more relief after watching this. One of my young relatives passed away and it's how life works. But I have an arising fear that that would happen to my closest ones at any time, just thinking of that couldn't make me be at peace.

Thank you for sharing your profound insights! Your amazing and awesome!

Excellent approach to the issue of grief. Best grief video I have watched. Thank you!

my half brother lee died last october and i still struggle with it i feel like i wasnt there for him

I look forward to listening to this video again. I have been very sad for two years after my only brother who took his life. I miss talking to him he was my friend. But I can understand what your saying. I want to be happy from now on. I'm upsetting my husband very much because I am crying all the time.I think I'm crying over myself, hope I can stop. Thanks

This guy was good to listen to. Good stuff man. Thumbs up

I lost my Great Great Grandmama last Month i am still Grieving but i know that she is heaven looking down on us and may she will continue to look down on us 😪😪😪😪😪😪😪💔 and may she never being forgotton last week was the week she passed away 😭😭😭😪😪😪

This is an incredible video which has ignited something within me. Mum gone 8 months, 79 I was flabbergasted to hear the views expressed.

To the point, but as you said we need to be open to these kind of questions.

My dad just passed away and this video has helped me so much

My stepdad was hit by a car on January 3rd 2019 he went through the guys windshield and he broke his call and they were pieces of of skull and tissue on the ground and he fell on the ground he was airlifted to Ryder Trauma Center here in Miami and I am devastated I feel a sense of emptiness inside of me that I have no control of I cry to my eyeballs fall out and it's a feeling of emptiness of missing him he took care of me I haven't been able to walk with my left leg for the past two and a half years he never failed me he took care of me the groceries for me clean for me cook for me when my grandkids would come over he will go over and beyond for them and even they have cried because they miss their grandpa it's not that I didn't love them or that I love them I love them more than life itself but this emptiness I feel inside is real and I feel numb I feel like I'm dreaming like this is not real and I just cry sporadically and I don't know what to do I feel lost without him. He passed away January 5th at 5:35 p.m. and I still can't believe it

I always thought being happy showed that you didn't care but that's not true , Thank you for opening my eyes again .

This video helped! Hello Noah 😘!!!

I will always carry the memories of the deceased with me. It can be sad, even overwhelming at times, but I fear more about forgetting. I don't want their memory to fade and I refuse to go on without them in my heart and mind. I can't let them go, and even if it's tough at time, I wouldn't want it any other way. It's beyond good, bad, sad, now, then. It's just... what it is. I want them to be here, I want everyone I care about to remain here, and to live happily free of sorrow. When I find traces of them, what they've done, it hurts. They were here, in this place and time, and now there not. You can't search for them, because there gone. You can't close your eyes and open them to see their face. Gone. Forever. Into the unknown.

Because that's all it addresses. I have deep seated cultural grief that is not just about losing 'someone' but it is about the grief of 'loss' whether real or perceived.

my great auntie died 1 year ago i miss her ive been getting grief for nearly a year now so thanks noah

My grief of losing my son is not a story I am creating. I find 95% of this video ridiculous. Sorry. "Can I feel any positive effects of them being gone?" NO. "Do I know for sure that it is bad?" YES. My son is gone and I listened to this video hoping it would help and it just pissed me off.

Noah. Like ur videos. They are smart, unique and to the point!

Thank you so very much dear Noah

Its hard when we dont know what happens after death but if you think they may be somewhere better thats a comforting thought.

Thank you for this video.

im in my 3rd year of grieving. still suffering sometimes. your speech opened up my eyes and head for some different perspective. still cant tell if this will help me any better. but thinking or analyzing what in fact makes me sad and why it makes me sad is a good start. THANKS! - i dont want to forget. but i dont want to be sad for the rest of my life. and my girlfriend who died wouldnt want this either.

My mother is dealing with alcohol abuse and goes out every night at 7:30 pm and gets back at 4:00 at night I am feeling sad because before the divorce she was sober all the time and wouldn't go out at night. My loss was my caring mother.... I am only 11 years old.

thank you for this video it has help me understand my situation in more ways than one.

thank you, this is so helpful.

I lost my son to suicide, he was 40,this was three months ago,,, grief is very sad and times i feel i can't cope,,, but i have to for my family😕

I am glad I watched this, you opened my eyes up to some truths that I was not prepared to acknowledge. Thank you this gave me a bit of a different perspective on how I am going to chose to deal with the loss of my partner of 18 years and the father of our only child. I feel like a bit of weight has been lifted from my shoulders. Your advice may not be received well by all (I am not going to read the comments) but for me it helped.

wow great talk my husband died 5 years ago and I still caring the pain around because like you said I felt guilty for being happy so if I was sad it showed I loved him Im doing all those things I am much better than I was but I need to let the pain go all together thank you so much for this talk

You are incredible. I was thinking I needed to take medication your videos are helping me so much. Thank you .

Thank you so much, My husband died 6 months ago and this has really helped me.

question here. as much as I understand. you forgot one thing. even if I don't feel sad and cry cause the person i loved died. what about the fact that you miss them being WITH you ? we grief the absence more than anything. and nobody can be replaced. so how do keep going in the train of thoughts you talk about when you don't feel sad and cry because they died but because they aren't with you anymore ? my loss happened because of sickness and age. death was indeed the best thing it could happen for them. they are free. But that doesn't change that they aren't with me and I miss them massively because I was living with them and now I'm alone. I took care of them, now I can't. I had comfort, support, responsibility etc. because of them, thanks to them. all this is gone because it had to. I get that I can feel happy and it won't be selfish because they can't blame me for it. but it doesn't change that I miss them cause it was part of my routine for a long time. when you witness a whole life from a baby to the equivalent of an old man, it's pretty impossible to stop grieving. if you're curious about who I lost. it was my 17 years old cat. and only those who owns and have lost pets know what it's like. just picture that it was like losing a child and my grandfather at the same time. but it's entirely normal and it was the best thing for him to die. even knowing that it's hard. I know I can adopt again but that means reviving the same process at any time. pets aren't afraid of death. pets don't judge. there's no guilt. but they are here all the time and a constant in your life. how do you stop grieving then ? I feel like only a new pet can fulfill this but idk when to take that leap. my cat was euthanized to avoid pain and suffer. it was 6 weeks ago. I talked to many people, cried a lot. even had medication. I'm now asking you, based on this video. what's the next step now that I know, his death was the only thing he needed at that time. and that the one thing I need, I can't have anymore because that's how life works ?

Noah you've helped me so much thank you

It helps a little but what doesn't ever get better is how much I will always miss my mom. That will never go away.