After 62 years of married life I lost my wife. She was a stroke survivor who needed my care for ten years. Now I grieve, of course because she is no longer there in her bed in the now vacant bedroom. So I grieve for her not being there but I also grieve that my whole ordered life has gone. Preparing meals and I think “ she won’t eat/ like my choice”. Scrolling through tv programmes and I constantly see programs she liked, constant mental reminders, no longer applicable, of her special needs that had to be arranged/ ordered on a regular basis. Grief is so hard! There is an infinite amount of advice on the stages of grief and what to expect. But there so little advice on how to cope, how to numb the pain, what to do in those deep holes of despair!

Grief is a thief that keeps showing up and robbing me of any “normal”- whatever that looks like. All I do is cry 😢 I’m so very sad + just want to be left alone. My loss is so profound. This channel has helped a lot w/new approaches. Thank you 🙏🏻 for caring + sharing your insights.

I have always loved night but these days I dread them...These videos are the only thing that has gotten me through the night lately...I watch them for hours and hours and hours until daylight is close then I feel less afraid....I feel scared almost all the time but at night it is worse...my grief is very recent and it hurts so deep...I do not know how I keep from losing my mind sometimes...I watch the videos about what we are going through, and I read the comments of others who know this horrible pain and sorrow...I do not know what I would do without this community, I mean that with all my heart...I am sending love to everyone else who is going through this....This is the worse pain of my life.

The unexpected intensity and overwhelmingness of the pain of loss has hit me sideways.

My husband passed a month ago , we had 56 yrs of marriage , I was blessed to have him for so long and I am grateful , Thankyou so much for all you have taught me I needed it so much ❤️ to you

Thank you so much for your channel. My husband died in September 2023. My world was shattered. I've visited many grief sites and this is the only one that resonates with me. When people ask how I'm doing, my response has been "I'm okay right up until I'm not". I take each day moment by moment. Thank you for the tips, but mostly the understanding.

It has been 3 years since my husband died from Covid. We both had it. It is still so very hard. He was just 60. Oh the plans we had! I grieve for the future we won’t have together. Having to do the work of two is more emotionally difficult than physical. Still when I have to do things my husband would do I fall apart. I volunteer and do meet friends daily for breakfast but trying to fill my days is hard. We were together all the time except when he was at work. No family except my son who has his own home just blocks away thank God! When I don’t feel well and am all alone is the toughest.I have tried grief groups but they weren’t of help.

The root of my need as far as I can identify it today is to find a safe place where I can be truly seen and heard. I need to tell the story. I need someone who isn't distracted to BE with me in that trusted space without judgements or quippy dismissive "solutions". It is in rare supply in my observation. Unexpected support? It's not in the familiar places. I'm starting to look with more sensitivity, anticipating small touches to nurture me along my way. Though I know I need more, I acknowledge the value of simple delights. This morning it's the birdsongs all around me as I drink coffee on the deck. It eases me through moments of sadness, and I let it...

I needed your videos the last 6 months. You made me feel like I am NOT going crazy. Although I felt like it at times.

I’ve not ever been involved in an online community … not on Facebook etc. I never really expected to find this one and get so much out of it. If not for your work Jo .. I’d feel more alone in my grief. People here feel safe and trustworthy more than some friends. I just read an email reply from a friend saying “you sound better so that’s good”… after my description of how I’m really not ‘doing better’. This ‘Jo community’ gets it.. thank you everyone. It’s stunning how friends and family often don’t get it ..

My grief needs hope. Hope for future happiness 💔❤️

Much needed video. Multiple losses in a short time frame is nearly impossible to deal with. Professional help is too expensive and unreachable for me and others I'm sure.

My husband and I were Married 53 years. When he passed .I found your website on You tub I listen to you every night before I go to sleep. Your voice is very Calming to me sometimes, if I am feeling really bad, I listened to you 2 or 3 times during the day. It is so good to hear that. I am not crazy and I always tell my family and friends I have a broken heart and a broken mind .I use that quote that you said in one of your grief sessions. I am so glad you are out there helping me, and all the other people that are going through grief.

Thank you for taking interest in broken hearts that want to heal

I believe God led me to your videos. I just lost my daughter less than 2 months ago and feel like I'm losing my mind. She left suddenly and unexpectedly- I'm learning a lot from the videos. I need counseling but am having a difficult time getting it. Waiting lists etc. Just thank you because God is using you to help me.

I recently lost my very best friend of 30 years. Our friendship morphed into a true sisterhood and her passing has impacted my daily life. I have found it extremely sad to not have the support of my friends because they simply think I lost a friend and don’t realize the closeness and the depth of my relationship with her. This has taught me to not judge relationships when other people experience loss in their lives.

I lost a son six years ago, the pain of it was shattering and I felt broken. My other son died four months ago and I feel as though I’m seared, not shattered. I feel like my edges have been seared closed and my grief is buried deep in my body. When I got the news my beautiful James was gone, I was in deep physical pain for almost a month. Even old injuries hurt more than they originally did. My workplace has been supportive, whereas others have virtually ignored me and my loss. I’m now working a lot to fill my time, and because it’s a good place for me right now. Grief does need community but it also needs the right support in that community, where hope and what works to honour our grief is emphasized rather than what we have lost.

It is getting close to a year since my loved one died. Allot of people say " If he was here he would want you to be happy." I really get so tired of hearing this. I refuse to force myself into denial and risk my grief coming out in unhealthy ways. If I don't sit and cry it out, I get excruciating migraines. People don't get that we all grieve differently. I attend a weekly grief support group at a church and I have one friend does not expect me to stuff my grief. Thank God for her. And thank you for being here so I can vent now and then. Hopefully my comment will help others.

Your comment about redefining myself really resonates with me. I’ve always been an isolater anyway. And now the depression and loneliness makes it more challenging. I just feel frozen not being able to visualize how I would like to be even a year from now. No purpose or aspirations. I just keep praying and am trying to be gentle with myself when I have that sudden grief attack after feeling okay for a few hours and then just laying in bed for most of the day. I will say that one thing that helps me some is that if I get just one thing done during the day, something I’ve been putting off. Just doing the one thing, no matter how simple, gives me some hope. My psychiatrist suggested this to me many years ago when I was in a deep nonfunctional depression. So I started making my bed right after I got up every morning, something I’d never done before. And I still continue to do it even though I may feel so terrible. It’s like a sign to me that I’m still in the game and haven’t hit rock bottom yet.

The relationship I have with my 27 year old Son who took is life 4 months ago is not gone it has just changed. My biggest challenge is figuring out what that looks like going forward. I feel that this is a key to integrating this into my life. Telling the story and retelling it to anyone willing to listen is definitely something I find helpful, overtime this becomes harder as those around move on whereas my journey navigating this has really only just begun.

My husband's "spirit gift" is flashing lights. I have had trouble starting over and figuring where to go from here. Recently, I was talking to my husband; going through my options, when I got to one of the options, the bedroom light flashed for about 10 seconds straight. I take that as his approval to move in that direction. "If it feels like a sign, it is a sign!"

Thank you Jo. Four months for me; and I've been watching only some of your videos. The first one I watched, about the symptoms of grief helped me so, so much. knowing that not only was my heart broken, but so too was my brain. It made much sense of how I was, falling, bumping into walls, forgetting things, putting things in wrong places etc: The fog is lifting and I'm beginning to think more clearly; so I then watched another; about learning to become familiar with your own surroundings, my home. Although I wake alone and now sleep alone; and don't for one minute not hate the fact that I have no choice, I've now become familiar with it. My next step is to step outside of the home. Going anywhere alone feels so unfamiliar and wrong. We were never apart from each other. Even popping to the shops alone feels so wrong. I also started to put boundaries in place, mentally. When I'd go to bed, the thoughts of his horrendous death kept replaying. I keep this thought now for first thing in the morning; and try to focus on something else when I'm trying to sleep. It's not easy, but I pull my thoughts back, when they start to stray. Although we were both sociable people, we never socialized, so had no outside friends. I now find myself totally alone; and as you say in this video, people/family who you would have expected to be there, aren't. I now have to build an entirely new life. Again, thank you so much.

I need to hear: I will be ok. I’m on my own so I feel anxious at times. Doing what I think is correct for me. Taking it all in while addressing the day to day that needs to be done.

Hello Jo, Great video of information! My grief needs validation. I don't need people to dismiss the pain of grief I am going through just 5 months after my beloved husband's passing.😓

Thank you again. What else do I need? I hear my head telling me to hurry up and get over this. You are 74 and the clock is ticking, you have no time left to waste. But I can't seem to move out of the pain. It has only been 2 months, but the clock is ticking away for me anyway. I need more time to adjust to an empty home and life. This is really hard.

The importance of self care: nutrition, exercise, hydration,sunshine,temperance, fresh air, rest, connection,meditation

My brother from afar at a very low point last week saw and heard my grief and vulnerability with empathy, kindness and insight. It was all via text, so timely and needed. My vulnerability hits at times, that's when I feel the most alone and scared. To feel held is a saviour at these times. The universe is bigger than me and my grief even when I don't feel it. Thanks again Jo, you cover so much so gently. 🥰

I cherish the comments, I don't feel so alone with my grief.

I have felt so alone in my grief recently, as my entire family are in so much pain. I have felt so comforted by watching several of the videos on this channel. I feel understood! This brings me peace! But I would ask others if you can't understand someone's grief, please respect it! Silence, a hug or holding my hand, is so much more helpful than attempting to rationalise or fix, what can not be fix. A family member (who I know loves me) crushed me this week - they said 'well you all need to get on with it'. I don't really have the language for what I feel, I struggle to accept, I struggle to recognise and piece my life together right now. I am utterly... Daily I am finding my way. I know many don't get it. However, please respect others grief. Just because one doing daily living tasks and may have gone back to work, please do not assume the levers & pullers that have dictated these actions. Most people do not know how much it takes to do so! Please respect others grief, while carrying humility and extending Compassion. I am not looking for anyone to make this better, but please think before you speak or act and don't make things worse!! THANK YOU for creating this space. I send kind and care energy right back to you x

I was absolutely shocked and felt completely loved when all of my coworkers from the small business that I work for came to my mother's funeral services. They closed the showroom for me. I hugged them all and told them, but they have no idea how much that meant to me. ❤ Being first generation in this country, I don't have much family here. That day I realized who my chosen family members are. I needed that and my grief needed that.

I want t thank you so much for doing this! You have helped me so much! I usually end up feeling better after I have a cry.--- I remember to be easier with myself. thank you, God Bless you.

This is my first comment ever. You help me so much since I found this page. I lost my husband 17 months ago and have so many ups and downs. I am almost 80 years old and this is absolutely the hardest thing I have ever experienced. I just wasn’t ready. Thank you for your insight into losing a spouse. I will continue to read your posts. ❤❤

Congratulations Jo on your 1 year Anniversary! So glad I saw your channel. I’m sure my Angels helped. I lost my partner after taking care of him with Dementia, my brother unexpectedly 2 days later and my mother in a Nursing home 8 months later. Dealing with Fibromyalgia, too. Thankfully, I have an adult son that makes life worth it … along with family and friends. In June it will be 2 years for my Mom and it seems like yesterday. Accepting this and the pain is so difficult… love and miss them so much. ❤🙏🕊🌎✨

Lost my beloved husband of 40 years almost 10 years ago. The pain I felt was so enormous I didn’t understand how I could be in so much pain and still be alive. I went to private grief therapy and 2 bereavement support groups. For 6 months. I read books and articles on grief. I learned to meditate. I got weekly massages and acupuncture. I tried anti-depressants. I wrote in my journal. I walked and cried daily. Slowly I began to heal. But we never get over a loss like this it can not be gotten over. I learned to carry the pain. The first year without him I had to learn to handle the finances- the taxes, insurances-investments. He had always done that and wanted to teach me but I didn't want to learn. I HAD to learn after his death and it was hard. I will never have the sense of safety and security I had with him. He was my rock & protector.

I’ve been listening off and on for a few months and many of your videos have spoken to me. I’ve been in a 17 yr very long, very painful time of grieving since my husband had a stroke and was then diagnosed bipolar. There were multiple times I’d get a call from him that he was going to kill himself and many, many yrs of mania. His mind had also told him he should take my life then his as he thought it would spare me pain. My husband of 44 yrs had been my safe harbor up to that point. I’d had a rough childhood and an extremely abusive first marriage. I still suffer from ptsd when my husband gets manic and when he has depressed times I grieve as well. Now he has dementia and all but one temporal lobe is dying so my grief is literally non stop. I’ve been in therapy much of these yrs but it’s so hard to move forward when this nightmare doesn’t end. Recently I had a very painful experience with our youngest daughter. We met up with her earlier this week to give her a turkey she was going to cook for our family thanksgiving this coming Wed. We’d hardly seen her or her family in several yrs, their choice due to their own struggles. They were just two mins away but moved a few yrs ago but still within 30 mins. They had come for a very brief visit a week before my husband was hospitalized again due to mania. She had informed me before coming that her daughter right now isn’t comfortable being hugged so to not ask or try to hug her. When they arrived we honored that but our granddaughter reached out to both of us for a hug and hugged us goodbye. When we met up with them I’d been out for three nonstop hrs of vip errands and I’d included getting the turkey. When they pulled up at the meeting spot I got so excited when I saw our granddaughter in the car. My joy at seeing her overcame me and without recalling what our daughter had said a few weeks earlier I went around the car to greet her. She opened the door and we embraced. My husband had gotten out of the car and I knew he wanted a hug so I stupidly said to our daughter that he wanted a hug too. She looked at me with such anger and gritting her teeth she reprimanded me immediately. I told her I had forgotten and of course she knows we’d never purposely hurt any of them but it didn’t matter. She was so angry at me. This has been another area of extreme grief since we rarely see them when we used to have our granddaughter over at least once a week. We were so close. I then messaged our other daughter after messaging my daughter about how hurt I was that she got so angry with me and I tried to explain I was sorry but I had just been overjoyed seeing our granddaughter in the car. Our daughter felt it best we not come as I’d said I was very hurt and honestly fearful of messing up somehow and I couldn’t deal with feeling I had to walk on eggshells around everyone. I’d already been feeling that way around our other daughter as she can be so black and white minded with me. I thought she and I had recently made progress as I finally felt safe to share with her some revelations of the way I had latched onto her as my safe haven after my husband, her dad, had the stroke. Apparently I was very wrong. She didn’t respond until about two days later when I messaged her about an upcoming appt my husband had for extensive cognitive testing that I was cancelling and hoping to do locally instead of 2.5 hrs away. She then responded only to also harshly reprimand me for not respecting our granddaughter’s love boundaries and that they all will always choose their children over me! I replied that I would never expect them to do otherwise. She told me I would have spared them all the pain I caused if I’d just said I was sorry. I thought that was what I did but as I thought on it I think I angered them by trying to help them understand what happened and that I’d never intentionally disrespect or disregard anything they ask of me especially where children are concerned. I felt the need to be understood I guess but in doing so made them both more angry with me. Honestly I don’t know how to do this anymore. This ongoing grief has broken so much in me that I don’t recognize myself at all. Our daughters struggle to understand and I now know I can’t help them to so for now I’ve removed myself from their lives and I will not reach out again for fear I will be knocked down even more. The degree of fear and pain inside me is almost unbearable most of the time. I can’t fix this and though I’ve tried to get help through counseling and videos like yours, apparently I’m just too broken for our daughters to feel they can be around me. Goodness how much grief feels like fear and my fears are huge and I’m so scared of all the pain I’m in already much less consider putting myself out there with our girls right now. It hurts horribly to be in this situation with them but I can’t help but stay out of their lives. Maybe one day things with them will heal but for now I know I’m too easily hurt and I fear I won’t be able to withstand much more. I have such a broken heart that never has a chance to heal due to continuously being hurt by one blow after another. It’s not like my husband physically died but he did as he’s no longer the same person and I miss him so much but I can’t fully grieve because things just keep happening that hurt so badly. I hope I made sense as it’s been very hard typing these things out when I keep crying. Thank you for reading

Could we ask " what brings me comfort"? Thanks for your wonderful videos, Jo. I practise the morning one- I am safe , better days ahead. It simple and very effective. My vagus nerve thanks you too!

One thing that has comforted me much more than I could have expected, is when close friends comment on my late spouse and I, how happy we both seemed, what a great fit we seemed to be, how just looking at pictures of us made them feel good. They validated the size of my loss with those comments. They made me feel sane and calm.

Jo - Another thought I have is the how the impact of a huge loss affects the family dynamic .. one of us is gone suddenly- our little family has changed dramatically and would appreciate how to understand it more … thank you

Thank you, Jo...you are helping more people than you can imagine...including me. God sent you to us...to help all of us...dealing with grief.

I love this - if it feels like a sign, it's a sign. We love you Joey!! xoxo H&E

I have been amazed by how you explain grief and loss

You are so right that grief needs community. We moved into our neighborhood 8 years ago and my neighbors have been SUCH a source of love and support to me after losing my husband suddenly 2 months ago. Another community that has been such a support to me is our church. The people and the ministers have been truly a blessing to me. God is good. He is helping me to see the good that can and will come out of this terrible loss. You have been a wonderful support. I thank God that I found you. Keep up the good work!

Unexpected support of an ex-brother in law who said” I am comming to help you with your big garden ❤

My best friend died in october 2022, it is now june 2023, several months later. i am hurting so bad. cancer is a bitch. that month when she died, my mom woke me up and i knew she was gone. when i looked at my phone, i saw a text from my manager about my “awful” close that night. (i did not have bad closes, my manager was heavily abusive and i was her target) and disregarded the message and told her i would be taking time off to grieve and for her funeral. less than a week later, in the airport on my way to Addis funeral (my passed friend), i got a text from a co-worker about my manager telling people she didn’t know if i was telling the truth about addi. (like if i was truly that close to her, if she really died, if i was really going to the funeral, etc) and showing text messages to my co workers, telling my co workers that my friend died (i got several texts saying sorry for my loss) and under these circumstances i felt this was very unprofessional and unacceptable. i quit months later, but i still struggle and i feel like it really all set back my grieving

Thank you. Your words are something to hang onto Jo. You are a marvellous soul. You are helping me, but it is very very difficult, this loss. I don’t think anybody else cares about me? Why should they? I have entered a time and place with no real family and some hostility. Very difficult. Edward.😢😢😢

Thank you for helping me realize that I am ok. It's been 2 yrs & lbelieve I'm in the "Time" element right now. Unfortunately a long time friend has ended our friendship because she says I have "totally hurt" her by not opening up to her, not responding to texts or calls. She told me I'm selfish and uncaring and doesn't need someone like me in her life. I told her I needed my space so I can figure out what I'm going to do with my life. I was with her when she lost a son 25 years ago, so I thought she would be the one person to understand my grief after losing my husband. Why would she act this way? Is it because I've been her support for so long and now I have to focus on my life?

Thank you Jo for this channel 🙏 I lost my husband of 32 years very suddenly 5wk ago and. To be honest sometimes I don't know which way is up most of the time I'm running on auto pilot, and listening to your channel helps when you grieve you feel your alone ut were not. Thank you for your thoughts 🙏 and ❤ support.

I am 74 years old widower from India. I lost my wife of 47 years three months ago. Your video is of great help to me. Every night I cry myself to sleep and that too a few hours. Thanks a lot.

For friends and family to let me talk about my loss (saying my Mom's name) is so important, but am still hesitant to bring her name into conversation for fear they don't want to remember.

❤from Australia 😢😢😢

You share your wisdom very poetically. Thanks 😊

Planning to get me through even a day or a week ahead so I may navigate the time ahead. Routines and structure help.

Hi Jo, congratulations on your first year, the support you are providing and having the courage to do it. We appreciate it your kind heart. As I watched this video I was already having a difficult day struggling to get out of bed and in tears. The loss of my daughter delivers many unexpected experiences like this and I endeavour to allow rather than resist. An expression of love, a painful one but love non the less. Your video was spot on as usual. Knowing what i/we, the family of your channel are experiencing without having to battle to be heard from well meaning friends and family is a healing in its self. I think sharing our experiences heals in the same way. I have signed up as you requested. I don't subscribe to any platforms though I believe a wider space to post and reply for and by our community would be beneficial. Many, many thanks Jo. Love to all. We have each other 😊🤗❤

I just found this channel and I am thankful. I lost my beloved father one year ago and my beloved mother one month ago. I don't have children or a partner so I find this very helpful. Thank you

yes, my mom's song "Its the most wonderful time of the year. Played alot over christmas and it really helped get me through!! I love you mom..

My wife died on August 18 2022 I'm at a place right now we're still can't believe it. Six months later it's still so fresh to me and I miss her very much still. Trying to get over but is there a way to get over I don't think so. Someone told me I have to let her go and start loving her so much but how do you do that.

Grateful for your videos. I don't feel so alone in my grief.

T. Vann: Thank for the tremendous support you have given by way of your videos.

Wonderful video. A heart space big enough to embrace the challenges of grief. A space big enough to be with that which can't be fixed.

YOU Jo Are the angel of my support right now and thank you so much for your channel 🙏

Thank you.

Thank you Jo, for providing this safe haven to learn, share, and grow with, and through our grief. I've only been subscribed for a very short time, but already you have, and continue to help me process, and understand my own complex grief. I only wish I had found you sooner! You truly are a treasure, and I can never give thanks enough! Infinite blessings, and love to you xx

self awareness and self health priorities

Again Amazing true words Jo❤

Your videos mean the world to me and help somuch

This is so helpful. Thank you.

Just can't get over the loss of my mom

I’m so glad I found your channel. Grief is like the worst roller coaster ride you’ve ever taken. 😢

I am interested in what else your Grief needs.... What have I missed? If you want to learn about joining my private online membership called The Grievolution Collective you can find information here. www.jomcrogers.com/grievolution-collective.html

It is still kind of wierd though jo_ after mom finally passed, even though we werent the best of friends at all times she was still mom, an was physically alive for my whole life up to age 67 that is!! I consider my self very lucky, 2 girlfriends lost their moms in high school both from breast cancer! One thing puzzles me. Sis had a huge funeral for our dad, an nothing happenened for mom cause we were ll under covid restrictions?? I feel just awful about that and it doesnt make sense to me that we didnt have a funeral for our own mom!!!

Survivor grief I have TY

I feel aged by my friends death, like I lost five or ten years. How do I undo this feeling ?

All my family in Suffolk,will not speak to me,as I was so angrey, how Pauline could have died,My brother Trevor said Pauline wanted to die!!!!!! What??? Pauline had two children, with her grandchildren,still why my Pauline died, Pauline gave me so much love, every week,I lived in New Zealand,all alone, Pauline gave me love,just up the road,when I was in New Zealand,all alone

My sisters ex husbands , for many years, parents and sister. They too lost a daughter hit by a motor vehicle. They understand. My MIL coversely has not mentioned that she is sad, said my daughters name, and compare her cough to the loss of a 29 year old child. She has 4 living children in her 60s. I am furious that she is ignoring my daughters life and death. I hate my MIL.

Is. There acharge to subscribe to this grief program ctrl...

🕯️🕯️🕯️

4 years in November. Zero support.

Dear Jo, I Keep reliving everything that went wrong with my Mom. She Was My Best Friend. Thank You for all Your Work 🕯🤍☕️😊

Thank you for taking the plunge . We needed you🤍