How to Deal with Self-Hatred & Self-Love

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How to Deal with Self-Hatred & Self-Love

Рет қаралды 12,486

Күн бұрын

Complex Borderline Personality Disorder: How Coexisting Conditions Affect Your BPD and How You Can Gain Emotional Balance. Available at:
shorturl.at/bxB05
Cope with your BPD symptoms using my BPD Card Deck: The BPD Card Deck: 50 Ways to Balance Emotions and Live Well with Borderline Personality Disorder. Available at: www.shorturl.at/jBHJV
In this video, I'm talking about how to deal with self-hatred and self-love. I'm trying to help people who struggle with BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) and fear, regret and self-hatred.
If you're struggling with any of these issues, then this video is for you. I'll discuss how to deal with self-splitting and provide some tips on how to overcome these difficult emotions. I hope that this video can help you feel more connected to yourself and help you start to heal from your struggles.
Daniel J. Fox, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist in Texas, international speaker, and a multi-award-winning author. He has been specializing in the treatment and assessment of individuals with personality disorders for over 20 years in the state and federal prison system, universities, and in private practice. His specialty areas include personality disorders, ethics, burnout prevention, and emotional intelligence.
He has published several articles in these areas and is the author of:
The BPD Card Deck: 50 Ways to Balance Emotions and Live Well with Borderline Personality Disorder. Available at: www.shorturl.at/jBHJV
Complex Borderline Personality Disorder: How Coexisting Conditions Affect Your BPD and How You Can Gain Emotional Balance. Available at:
rb.gy/hdyqyy
Antisocial, Narcissistic, and Borderline Personality Disorders: A New Conceptualization of Development, Reinforcement, Expression, and Treatment. Available at: tinyurl.com/2a...
The Borderline Personality Disorder Workbook: An Integrative Program to Understand and Manage Your BPD. Available at: goo.gl/LQEgy1
Antisocial, Borderline, Narcissistic and Histrionic Workbook: Treatment Strategies for Cluster B Personality Disorders (IPBA Benjamin Franklin Gold Award Winner): goo.gl/BLRkFy
Narcissistic Personality Disorder Toolbox: 55 Practical Treatment Techniques for Clients, Their Parents & Their Children (IPBA Benjamin Franklin Silver Award Winner):: goo.gl/sZYhym
The Clinician’s Guide to Diagnosis and Treatment of Personality Disorders: goo.gl/ZAVe9v
Dr. Fox has given numerous workshops and seminars on ethics and personality disorders, personality disorders and crime, treatment solutions for treating clients along the antisocial, borderline, narcissistic, and histrionic personality spectrum, emotional intelligence, managing mental health within the prison system, and others. Dr. Fox maintains a website of various treatment interventions focused on working with and attenuating the symptomatology related to individuals along the antisocial, borderline, narcissistic, and histrionic personality spectrum (www.drdfox.com).
KZfaq: / @drdanielfox
Dr. Fox’s website: www.drdfox.com/
Dr. Fox’s Blog: www.psychology...
Facebook: / appliedpsychservices
Twitter: / drdanieljfox1
LinkedIn: / drdfox
Instagram: / drdfox
Amazon Author’s Page: amazon.com/author/drfox
Videos edited by Emil Christopher: emilchristopheredits@gmail.com
Thank you for your attention and I hope you enjoy my videos and find them helpful and subscribe. I always welcome topic suggestions and comments.

Пікірлер: 81

@sweetluvgurl Жыл бұрын

Usually, I split on others, and then that causes me to split on myself, as well.

@rodrigo100kk Жыл бұрын

Yeah, but in reality the split was in ourselves all along. Stop splitting from the within and you will stop splitting from others.

@Maalin. Жыл бұрын

Lila, me too most of the time.. ❤

@LadyJustice86 Жыл бұрын

When you lose your sense of reality

@heatherpratt1551 3 күн бұрын

Me too!

@nothingreallymattersanyone9 Жыл бұрын

I can’t afford the therapist I need and this is really helping thank you for making this content.

@anna-rosephipps3132 Жыл бұрын

I like how you explain 'splitting'. For years I never realised that's what I was doing, to myself and probably others. If I listen to myself talking, or re-read old diaries, i catch myself doing so even in my choice ofwords, phrases, use of language. It seems like a deeply ingrained habit, to the extent that i never even noticed

@AvokiSuadi Жыл бұрын

totally

@bijpls4059 Жыл бұрын

Ikr... Its when u catch ureself using absolute words like always, never, hate myself etc..

@anna-rosephipps3132 Жыл бұрын

@@bijpls4059 that's it.

@lergoth Жыл бұрын

I never thought of it like this, I just figured it was my own insecurities like every other person has, but there was something else that I couldn't explain, it is all so clear now! I don't know how but you always manege to post the exact video I need at the perfect time, I self splitted a couple days ago and didn't know how to explain it to my boyfriend, thanks a lot Dr. Fox 🦊💜

@DrDanielFox Жыл бұрын

You’re very welcome and I’m glad you found it helpful.

@user-ln9pr2nw3d 7 ай бұрын

I second that thank you so much and also thank God to Fox you are amazing very brilliant May God continue to bless you!💋💞🌷🌹💪🙏

@fairygurl9269 Жыл бұрын

Here's to Being Good Enough with Room to Improve 💞

@DrDanielFox Жыл бұрын

Awesome. You’ve got this!!

@elevenelevenlife3375 Жыл бұрын

I feel like I have the opposite of the 'narcissistic splitting' thought process. It's more like, I start noticing things in my life that are not going my way or at all, and I start getting more and more negative, hating myself and the world, because I can't even get my needs met, or what I want or wish I could have in life. I don't feel good at all when this is happening. If anything, I start getting more irritable and unstable, often needing to medicate (usually food, or anything to relax my mind) to calm myself. I understand that it might be splitting, because it feels like I'm "splitting off from reality", whereas being in touch with reality brings a sense of peace. But, then the same exact thoughts and observations can come up, causing it to happen again. This is often an "I can't take it anymore" moment because of all the mental duress I'm going through, feeling like my life is so awful and unbearable to live with this weight. I'm doing the best I can with what I know I can and my own limits, and nothing or very little seems to happen in my life, which gets me mad and upset, because I'm trying to do better, I'm trying to have more with my life. Feeling constantly rejected, ignored, or like the world/universe doesn't care about me, is a definite trigger for these episodes. When I'm in the throws of it, it can be difficult to correct course and convince myself, in some way, my life isn't as bad as I'm thinking it is... but again, that doesn't seem to last long at all, maybe a day or two at most. Most troublesome, is I haven't always been this way.... and I feel like I've lost my former self.

@markobozic998 Жыл бұрын

What helped me to detach from that painfull proces is to be very humble when it starts, because it is a grandious false self talking to you in that way and not the real you. Glad if it helps..

@elevenelevenlife3375 Жыл бұрын

@@markobozic998 I think so. I don’t believe I am a narcissist, but probably have some selfish tendencies and am self centered in ways. The problem is when those thoughts are very convincing… because they are based upon real or perceived needs.. it’s hard to reframe when needs go unmet for so long (the codependent side of me)

@milarosenrot Жыл бұрын

I split so much that it’s exhausting. I’m self aware now thanks to therapy then I’m getting better but everyday I wake up different is draining. I hope I can fully heal on day

@sarahs413 Жыл бұрын

I'm DEFINITELY going to do the assignment you're providing for this. I have AWFUL PTSD. I get triggered about something toward me and then the DBT is right there to amplify it. That's HARD to deal with! I still go to work but there are times when I HAVE to talk myself into going and not isolating. It's one of the hardest things I've had to deal with so far this year. Thank you a million times over!

@sarahs413 Жыл бұрын

It never even crossed my mind that this had a title to explain it! You're very much appreciated.

@SquirrellyMom Жыл бұрын

Yes!! It really does feel better to "surrender" to the extreme. It's like standing on a see/saw. It's way easier to slide to one end or the other. Standing in the middle with a foot on either side is so much more work.

@darkskill72 Жыл бұрын

Thank you so much for doing this stream. I do this all the time

@sweetluvgurl Жыл бұрын

Just letting you know that it was a premiere. That means the creator sets the video to upload on a certain day at a certain time.

@darkskill72 Жыл бұрын

@@sweetluvgurl Thank you, I knew it was a premiere. I was just really happy because I had asked about splitting on yourself a few months ago on another video. I was happy that it was a topic that was going to be discussed.

@jameslutz3835 Жыл бұрын

I have a tendency to split on myself almost constantly, and then take it out on others when I feel less than. When you said "healthy relationships never fight - that's a split" it hit hard. That was my ideation, and I remember in the beginning of my last relationship saying that to her - "we'll never fight". God, I wish I knew all of this before

@DrDanielFox Жыл бұрын

Glad the video was helpful. Keep building insight. Be well.

@kikie1973 Жыл бұрын

Thank you for discussing this topic...it's been very helpful

@0_fksgvn955 Жыл бұрын

A few months ago, I was thinking about this and realized I think had split myself a long time ago. I made myself the villain in my own story. I didn't know if that was really a thing that can happen but apparently I was right and I did. Now to figure out how to change that.

@scarybeenana Жыл бұрын

You literally cover alllllll of the topics I have never had answers to or even thought about or really needed to hear, thank you!

@DrDanielFox Жыл бұрын

You’re very welcome 😊

@Shortkonner Жыл бұрын

I do say negative things to myself despite knowing I shouldn't.

@DrDanielFox Жыл бұрын

Insight is a powerful thing. Use it to learn about yourself and to build adaptive strategies to help yourself. Be well.

@ekkolocation3933 Жыл бұрын

What do I do, if I split both ways? Sometimes I love myself, and other times I hate everything I am...

@sarahs413 Жыл бұрын

I'm dealing with this at this very momennt, Not a coincidence I decided to catch up with everything now! Yes, self hatred then doing things for myself when there's self-love. RIGHT - you can't run from yourself. That's the purpose of referring back to my DBT book of my therapy full courses. Thank you for making this!

@michelleferrero8206 Жыл бұрын

Another terrific video. Thank you!

@thelittleetherealghost Жыл бұрын

Thank you so much Dr Fox

@DrDanielFox Жыл бұрын

You are very welcome

@NathianOfTheNerds Жыл бұрын

I love and sometimes hate your channel. I have been officially diagnosed bpd, but i wasn't diagnosed with it till i broke down in college, and it made my life hell a lot of time from about 13 to the age i am now and im over 30. Affected my grades and family my jobs. There are a lot of arguments fighting hate, even though i love my family and my friends.Your channel has given me a lot of great tools. I worry people will use your channel to self disagnose a condition they dont have and just fake all the symptons for something like attention. Then we end with more people like tiks and roses. Bpd has been one of the hardest things iv always lived with. Some days, it's like im in bliss, then boom from a couple of mins or a day. it's the exact opposite. Sorry to rant.

@DrDanielFox Жыл бұрын

I completely understand that some of the topics me cause you to split on your perspective of the channel in the work that I do. This is part of the process and I think building insight into that is very important and I wish you all the best.

@kellimihalic116 Жыл бұрын

Once again Dr Fox you hit the nail in the head! Nail to my head. You couldn't have made it any clearer or more true, you end up isolated.

@carmelittanewby9188 Жыл бұрын

Thanks so much for this information. I never new their was a word for this behavior. 3 years of Hard Times. I finally gave in to some medicine & after a month, the shitty committee volume has turned down ✨🙏✨

@witanmitchell7666 2 ай бұрын

Working through your book.

@phakes6195 11 ай бұрын

Thank you so much for what you do Doctor Fox, your material has been very helpful and eye opening.

@Star-dj1kw Жыл бұрын

❤ Excellent Video

@miss_8thwonder 13 күн бұрын

But how do I cultivate self-love? 💯 and not to attract any of the other narcissists ever! While healing my childhood traumas

@dimpletoadfoot8631 8 ай бұрын

The more I learn about bpd, the more I see that it's sll through both of our family lines. Our poor teen daughter almost didn't have a chance against getting this disorder :(

@MartinPleasant-ty1rw Жыл бұрын

Thank you for sharing this

@kichan3353 Жыл бұрын

Self love ? Dont know her💅

@ChellySerna Жыл бұрын

I feel that. She's there, but you just can't hear her yet.

@crystalriddick1968 4 ай бұрын

Learn her

@cassiestevens8382 Жыл бұрын

Thanks💓

@blingblingshineshine Жыл бұрын

perfectly in time :) thank you

@bgcompany4262 7 ай бұрын

Just a guess - If you think about neurocognitive networks and the way information (cognitive, affective, etc.) is stored, it would follow that what looks like an absolute thinking process is actually state dependent thinking, where states that developed in trauma-relevant contexts strongly contrast the relief of alternate states.

@DrDanielFox 7 ай бұрын

Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this topic! It's always great to have different perspectives and insights. I appreciate your input and look forward to discussing more about neurocognitive networks in the future.

@Divine_dialogues2 3 ай бұрын

Currently going through this 💩… I’ll be okay in a few weeks/months though lol (Suffering from quiet bdp)

@jackiegrice714 Жыл бұрын

Really interesting Dr. Fox

@Gonzo-GT Жыл бұрын

First of all, I wanted to say that I love the work you do, it's very validating. Second, lots of people diagnosed with BPD have suffered a lot of trauma, abuse, neglect, etc. So it seems totally normal to have those feelings and behaviors in order to protect yourself from future revictimization, even if they are destructive for yourself and others. Why call it a disorder? I'm very confident saying that is the validation (understanding, empathy, compassion, etc) what makes people feel better and empowered, specially after being abused repeatedly most of their lives (many BPD people), isn't invalidanting, stigmatizing and hurtful calling these behaviors a "disorder"?

@bijpls4059 Жыл бұрын

It's just an umbrella term to group people of the same symptoms tgt

@Gonzo-GT Жыл бұрын

@@bijpls4059 People overidentify with these labels and call themselves 'borderline', even if they don't tell others, specially diagnosed people. I think it's not right. Some therapists even deny treatment to ppl diagnosed with BPD, so it's stigma.

@ritaevergreen7234 Жыл бұрын

@@Gonzo-GTcan I ask why therapists deny treatment for those with BPD?

@Gonzo-GT Жыл бұрын

@@ritaevergreen7234 Because of stigma? Which is part of the problem of diagnosing people with stigmatizing mental disorders.

@ritaevergreen7234 Жыл бұрын

@@Gonzo-GT so it’s like they don’t mind diagnosing but don’t like treating?

@user-er1yi7uc6q Жыл бұрын

I wasn’t ther first person to call Myself a fuck up I’ve been called a fuck up being treated like a piece of trash my whole life created this how do I stop an internal monologue that I heard my entire life? Wish I could speak to you personally. Been pushed away by so mana psychiatrist’s and therapists in losing hope. These old videos are kinda all that I got rn

@bijpls4059 Жыл бұрын

I didnt even realize i was splitting until my friends mentioned it to me in passing... One Calling it a love-Hate relationship and another saying "you always do this, you'll say you hate x this week and then you worship x the next week!" 💀

@julianocean1734 Ай бұрын

😮woow I didn’t know that this has name. Sometimes I can spend 24h just doing that and it keeps me from sleeping. I can’t use a positive word, I’m so used to disgusting, garbage, useless etc any positive affirmation sounds fake and makes me feel uncomfortable, I cringe super hard if someone (super rare) says something vaguely positive that makes me wanna throw, I really feel nauseous.

@user-xu1io8ei4j Жыл бұрын

Dr. Fox do you have any online courses? I am working on your book but would love an online course as well. Or could you recommend one? I love your work, thank you for all that you do!

@janetdeex1792 Жыл бұрын

Thank u😭

@LisaLisa001 3 ай бұрын

Can you be your own "favorite person?"

@terryparker9237 7 ай бұрын

I think I've only split on one other person. I didn't think you could split on yourself.

@DrDanielFox 7 ай бұрын

It's definitely a unique experience to split on someone, let alone yourself! Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

@levitatestudent Жыл бұрын

I alway add a lot of - da da da daa 😂

@jamesmiere814 Жыл бұрын

How do I start the process of getting support which may need to include assessment initially for suspected BPD? And should I? I think there's a lot of stigma still like job prospects etc

@DrDanielFox Жыл бұрын

Find a qualified psychologist who understands personality and personality disorders. I do consultations, if you're interested check out my website www.drdfox.com.

@anglemoonlight8374 Жыл бұрын

I do this so bad self split im under so much stress I just reunited with my kids for the first time in 10 years after CPS took them going to a graduation everything I’m so confused mentally emotionally I don’t know what’s up down backwards sideways left or right I don’t even know where I belong or where I fit my BPD is out of control. I’m trying to stay in the moment it’s not working I need help.

@crystalriddick1968 4 ай бұрын

Do you pray? Pray and ask God to remove all those symptoms. Once he does never look back. Seek Jesus Christ and talk to him about what you’re going through. He loves you more than you’ll ever know. It’s going to work out for you.