I've never been hit more by a statement than "we don't expect perfection out of the people we love, we just expect effort" 💔

Most people don't ask for perfection. We ask for effort and honesty from people we love. This is on point! Exactly what I have in mind ❤

You’ve been a good influence on me for like 10 years straight now! I always come away feeling a little better. I’m not a mom, I’m still living the single city girl life for now, but can’t wait to get to the mom/wife phase

This coffee talk was such a deep conversation, but it was exactly what I needed to hear about perseverance during the hard days or lows and it was exactly what you said, "Keep giving yourself grace, understanding and meeting yourself wherever you are." Cheers'ing you a cup of coffee as I had my morning coffee while tuning into it, after mini coffee detox I had.

You pretty much summed it up perfectly. I've heard it said that forgiveness is boundaries + understanding and that's exactly what you are describing here. The boundaries protect you from further harm and the understanding helps you to release and move past anger.

Really enjoyed this chat. Felt like sitting down with a good friend. So appreciative of the intention, groundedness and honesty you weave into each post. It doesnt go unnoticed ❤

"I cannot and will not let go, until I understand." Oh..this hits home hard. I wish I knew where this need comes from, because I don't believe it has served me well. Especially in my last relationship..I couldn't understand some of his perspectives and couldn't understand some things that happened, even after a heartfelt apology and explanations, I just couldn't let them go, because I didn't understand why the things had happened in the first place. I couldn't let it go instead of understanding and accepting that things in life sometimes simply..happen.

I’ve had an incredibly stressful week and the reminder to accept how I’m feeling and give myself the space to recover and be gentle with myself was just what I needed to hear. Thank you Kalyn.

Kalyn you have gifted me sm wisdoms for 7 years now. So happy your videos came into my life when it did!!!

This video is SO IMPORTANT for me. It means a lot to me. Thank you Kalyn! 💕

I am on this journey with my mom right now and I am so proud of her owning her actions. So much healing we’ve had since I’ve become a mom and having my own daughter now. I’m so thankful for that 🙏🏽 even more so listening to your story. Thank you for sharing ❤

Wow, “we just expect effort” - I felt that!!!

Loved this, thanks Kalyn🩵🦋

Wow, I'm so glad a community is openly discussing all this. Thank you Kalyn! I keep asking myself what "true" forgiveness is though. I haven't found the answer so far. The world is a better place if we forgive, because we let go of our anger by acknowledging that it is ok to be angry at the person hurting you. When we are healthier mentally the whole world is healthier.

Thank you so much for your honesty! It is so liberating to see people I deeply respect and value going through the same things. I am very sorry for your losses and challenges and I sincerely wish I could give you a hug, because you feel like an older sister to me after all these years. however, whether it makes it any easier or not, your wisdom and the depth of your content has grown immensely❤️ and it is because of those hardships that you now can share such beautiful and profound messages with the community. In your podcast I love the atmosphere, the soothing colors and music that make it indeed feel like a very safe space where I can just breathe out and tune with my inner spirit. I love how you consider controversy and different opinions and context instead of just stating your opinion as a matter of fact. I love feeling that you are here not to sell me something, but to share and help with your big and warming heart. The only thing that could make this podcast better is longer episodes🙈 but we share your time with your loved ones so I wouldn’t even ask for that. I am 23 now and ever since high school I have been the « pride of the family ». Everywhere the first, the learner, the winner, the worker… List goes on. I worked full time corporate IT job while studying bachelor also full time and on sight since the 2nd year. I got the money, the authority, but that wasn’t enough to be perfect, so I also homecooked for me and my boyfriend, went vegan ( so double cooking and limited options in my country), did exhausting sports ( because perfect girls have muscle), punished myself for every piece of chocolate ( not mentioning overeating), weighed 48 kilos. And I still always thought that I was not enough! In these 7 years I have depleted myself to such an extent that for the last several months even a thought of putting alarm clock makes me want to cry, makes me angry. I have become disorganized, I do the minimum and not my best (which goes against my values), I gained some weight but to a healthy extent for now), and my perfectionist inside is just dead. I don’t feel anything, just reevaluating everything I have been through. Whether it was worth it. I have never had therapy but your podcast has been very helpful. Don’t worry, I do not treat it as substitution, I am just not ready yet and I have been managing it so far on my own. I truly don’t know why I am writing this. I don’t ask for pity. This lifestyle has always been my choice. My parents told me that I don’t need to prove anything. But I had to prove to myself. Why - I would very much like to know. Just my productivity is in a deep hibernation now) and I am happy you shared your story. I also remember you once wrote on your inst that « it’s okay to take a step back before you make two steps forward » or smth like that. That is my mantra now. I just care too much about what I represent for others. It is like I see myself with the eyes of others and put words they would say to me. Good imagination and empathy makes it even worse. So now my goal is to get rid of the idea that to deserve love, peace, and happiness one has to be perfect. And that opinions of others of me do not describe who I am. You inspire to think and to ask myself questions! Thank you so much for that❤️

Dude… this came at the perfect time… the three topics in the title is legit what I discussed with my therapist today!

I really felt you tapping into something deep with your answers to these questions. 💞 It’s incredible to watch friends grow and step into their power!

Thank you for your honesty 🙏

Hi Kalyn, first off I want to say how much I love your coffee talks. I feel so comforted and calm when listening to them and it feels like such a safe space. I wanted to say about the family trauma portion that this made me feel so validated because I’m navigating a similar scenario and trying to approach familial issues as logically and empathetically as I can, while still remembering that my boundaries and feelings are justified. So thank you. I often have A LOT of guilt with setting boundaries I know are necessary, but I need to trust my intuition and honor my needs.

Hey Kalyn! Thank you so much for being my internet big sis during the last 7 years. You have so much wisdom at such a young age, you just make me feel calmer and grounded. Thank you for these great talks!

Thank you so much for sharing your experience. It is very relatable and I find your advice so helpful. It feels like chatting with a wise friend and I love hanging out here ❤

Love this and you!💕🙏🏻

I once heard someone say something like “forgiveness is only possible when it is ASKED for. We are not obligated to forgive, because to forgive is to pardon. And no pardon for an offense can be granted if that offense has not been acknowledged and the offender has not asked for forgiveness.” I think a lot of people get stuck in the same muck because they think they can’t heal unless they forgive….but that’s just not true. Forgiveness is not and should not be a given. We can move on and heal and thrive without it. I was shocked when I heard the man talking about it because he is a staunch Christian and I always thought forgiveness was our thing, but then he pointed out that EVERY time in the Bible that forgiveness was granted, it was asked for. And genuinely asked for, not a fake repentance. I could go on and on….It’s a fascinating subject.

Kalyn, I hope you see this! At 7:17 you said you were able to get curious about why you needed that support when you stopped blaming yourself for not getting it. I’m currently in therapy working on this. It’s so hard. I don’t blame myself anymore, but idk why I need to feel that support so bad. Idk how to let go. My therapist tells me to just focus on myself, and to pour into myself rather than getting those family members to see my POV. That’ll likely never happen in her words. But idk how to stop seeking that support/apology/stepping up to plate.

When i see my parents i am exhausted and anxious

Awesome thanks Kalyn!

Loved what you had to say about grace and doing what you can in the moment. So helpful in a crazy time of life.

Will there be a TTPD reaction video? 😂❤️

How dose one send in a question for the next podcast?

Hi Kalyn!❤

This is literally the perspective I needed today 🤍