How to get your boss to respect you and stop being difficult at work

Рет қаралды 45,552

Күн бұрын

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To become a VIP, go to danoconnortraining.com/store
In this professional communication training video, How to get your boss to respect you and stop being difficult at work, communication skills coach Dan O'Connor gives you tips and techniques for getting your boss to stop harassing you and start respecting you. #difficultbosses #gainrespect #respectatwork
Here's the breakdown of this free effective communication skills training lesson online:
0:40 How to get your questions answered
1:14 Leanna's dilemma
1:58 How to set up this talk
2:43 Some handy power phrases to start
3:00 Danger phrases to avoid
3:40 a great lead-in line for this talk
4:07 Woman to Woman
4:52 How to say, "I respect you"
5:15 The complete lead-in line
5:43 What it means to "Overturn the Tables"
7:12 Key phrases for table-turning
7:33 Where to get more
8:12 How to take the high road
8:43 The entire message
9:27 Block the interruptions
10:24 I don't judge you for your mistakes
10:40 You're better than that
10:55 You can always come to me
11:14 I cannot abide that
11:44 I don't want to have this talk again with you
12:45 The essence of assertive communication
13:17 Forgive and atone
13:25 Level 2
13:50 I was trying to be nice
14:45 Throwing down the gauntlet
15:04 This is not a sorority
15:53 Mandate and Unfair
17:33 Enough
18:29 Above all else . . .
Please subscribe to Dan's KZfaq channel for all his free online communication training: goo.gl/VJdWKi
Make sure to check out Dan's website www.danoconnortraining.com/ for your free book and/or tutorial, and examine the many training programs you'll find there as part of his VIP pack. There you will find courses on:
-Getting unstuck and moving ahead in your career
-How to gain the respect and acknowledgement you know you deserve
-Communication skills for the telephone
-How to deal with difficult people at work--notably bullies, gossips, and people who make inappropriate comments
-How to be seen as the competent professional you know yourself to be
-How to approach your job with confidence and earn the respect of coworkers
-Job interview skills
-How to deliver bad news to a customer
-Communication Skills for Leaders
And many many more
www.danoconnortraining.com/
Dan can be reached at dan@danoconnortraining.com. You can learn more about him and his training on his website, www.DanOConnorTraining.com, or you can call him at 877-570-1573 701-205-4141 if calling from outside the US.

Пікірлер: 294

@TheWizardOfWords Жыл бұрын

HEY MY FRIENDS: If these videos are having a positive impact on you, please show your support by becoming a CHANNEL MEMBER and/or clicking the THANKS BUTTON above and leaving a little love. A little love will allow me to continue delivering these videos directly to you!

@denishabrown4034 Жыл бұрын

Omg this is delicious!!!! I’m in bed giggling and can’t wait to try!

@judojohn11 Жыл бұрын

Your videos are always good. I didn't mean to suggest it doesn't work. In my situation I am respectful to my bosses. I was hoping they would show the same kind of respect. What happened to me has to be much deeper. Mom and pops just didn't like it. I was just a good fit for them. I'll keep on trying to love people some day I'll get a little love back. I look to see how to become a Channel member. Thank you .

@oanar1289 4 жыл бұрын

I have the opposite issue, my boss thinks I don't respect him and I treat him like the cleaning lady...but I respect the cleaning lady, not sure what he means...he expects submissivness and I expect equality. He sees me as challenging his authority. I see him as a tyrant who wants people to follow him blindly. Not sure how this can be fixed. Currently we are ignoring each other

@justmejo9008 4 жыл бұрын

Yes 📢 this Dan

@KarmasAbutch 4 жыл бұрын

Yup

@myheroacademialover4923 Жыл бұрын

I am a cleaning lady and I get treated like shit.

@user-oe4bl5qs7t 8 ай бұрын

Curious- Are you still at that job?

@taylora3830 7 ай бұрын

YES!!

@micheller6804 3 жыл бұрын

My boss recently came to me, said I wasn't acting my usual self and asked if anything was up. I had tried to approach her in the past regarding certain workplace issues, but she appeared dismissive. So I gave up and began looking for work elsewhere. I felt I had nothing to lose at this point, and was honest with her, saying I didn't think the job was for me, and I felt like leaving. She pulled me into a conference room and we had a frank but respectful discussion. We agreed to meet the following week while she spoke to some higher ups and HR about the situation. Come Monday morning, she called me into the conference room and slid a paper across the table. I figured I was terminated, but was surprised to see it was an offer for a substantial raise. I am learning to become more assertive, which is a struggle because I'm naturally passive. Ironically, calmly and logically explaining how dissatisfied I was made them respect me more. Thank you for your videos. They are so helpful. 👍

@TheWizardOfWords 3 жыл бұрын

Bravo and right on Michelle R!

@Mosdefinitelyable Жыл бұрын

Omg great story

@alamedadanceparty Жыл бұрын

Amazing! Congratulations for standing up for yourself!

@animezinglife9627 2 жыл бұрын

The day my boss respects me is the day I know my character has fallen to her level. She is a dreadful, cruel, competitive, and insecure woman, and a textbook narcissist. She's known to throw tantrums in the workplace and treat everyone like garbage. I really don't know what to do anymore. I'm counting down the days when I can get out of there. Any advice in the meantime for those who go far beyond rude or passive-aggressive?

@TheWizardOfWords 2 жыл бұрын

Stay well below the radar until you have the opportunity to leave. A true narcissist should be avoided at all costs.

@bekit7131 Жыл бұрын

Thanks for making this video. You are one of the few career coaches on youtube that support being assertive when dealing with coworkers & managers.

@debbiekillewald8384 4 жыл бұрын

This is awesome thank you! I just love how they try to make it look like a mistake calling you a different name. Great way of handling that.

@juanitav1592 4 жыл бұрын

You are an amazing communicator!! I’m blown away by your savvy technique!😍

@craig3714 4 жыл бұрын

Thank you for your message Dan I needed this dealing with a narcissistic boss too .

@zac2877 Жыл бұрын

When he said: " But sometimes..... you Have to overturn the tables in the temple." Then the world's explode revealing his serious gaze back at the camera. That one moment was priceless, made me TRULY laugh

@zac2877 Жыл бұрын

Liked, subscribed, and shared. Thank you for sharing some of your wisdom

@TheWizardOfWords Жыл бұрын

Thanks for the subscription and for your comments, Zac. Much appreciated.

@MillwallMike 4 жыл бұрын

I needed this like you have no idea! Many thanks. You're legendary!

@marilynl2545 4 жыл бұрын

Thank you for sharing your wisdom and insight it's always helpful...you're awesome

@circular17 4 жыл бұрын

This video is very useful to me because it shows a way to be angry that actually delivers the essential message. I have been looking into communication to improve myself, but it always seemed to suppose that it goes alright or at least that it never gets to a dead end. Though frustrating cases do happen and just the fact the they are possible can hinder my motivation as I don't know how to handle them. Even though it may be theoretical it is good to know how you can react to them.

@zac2877 Жыл бұрын

The way you tell a story and the way that you speak, and do it with humor and in a basic way, helps it stick in my brain better. Thank you for this I am absorbing this information and I really needed exactly this one thank you

@TheWizardOfWords Жыл бұрын

Happy to help, Zac.

@aratsass1 2 жыл бұрын

This channel is PURE GOLD

@NikkiElla622 11 ай бұрын

Thank you for making this video this helps me so much!!!

@shanehall98 4 жыл бұрын

Hello Daniel, I have been enjoying your videos. I have been using your tips to deal with people in my life.

@JesusSaves77799 Жыл бұрын

Thank you Dan!! Great video!!! God bless you!! 🙏💖

@AshJae 3 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much!! This will be so very helpful for me especially right now at this time.

@TheWizardOfWords 3 жыл бұрын

Glad it was helpful, Ashley.

@Mosdefinitelyable Жыл бұрын

Ok I tried some of this today. It was hard but I actually let my feelings support my communication. I told her how I felt. “Your email really hurt me and is preventing me progress in the organization. “ she had a hard time and said she needed to get back to me. I hope it goes well. I feel good and strong and confident. This is my soul speaking.

@TheWizardOfWords Жыл бұрын

Good for you, Mosdefinitelyable.

@dominiquedoeslife 3 ай бұрын

Well…? How’d it go?

@Mosdefinitelyable 3 ай бұрын

@@dominiquedoeslife Oh, I definitely got fired for that one. Haha! But, all in all, speaking up for myself results in bigger wins for my self-confidence. Feeling good, I moved on to other opportunities. :) Thanks for asking! Your content is still good. For me, speaking up for myself is more important that a job. Just my opinion.

@dominiquedoeslife 3 ай бұрын

@@Mosdefinitelyable Oh no! I’m so sorry.

@dominiquedoeslife 3 ай бұрын

@@Mosdefinitelyable I agree though. Speaking up for yourself matters.

@KimberlyLetsGo 4 жыл бұрын

You're awesome, Dan!

@justmejo9008 4 жыл бұрын

As always .. Thanks Dan 💚

@tomasacadiz9467 3 жыл бұрын

Your tips are so helpful and you crack me up too. You make my day!

@TheWizardOfWords 3 жыл бұрын

Thank you Tomasa. My byline for onsite training has always been "No more boring training--ever" because I believe it is possible to keep people awake during a seminar--or a KZfaq video. (Possible, not always easy :) )

@carlamitchell2259 3 жыл бұрын

Wow. This one blew me away; you are gold!

@TheWizardOfWords 3 жыл бұрын

Not platinum? Come on now!

@GlasssWalll 3 жыл бұрын

I love watching your videos while I get ready for work, these inspire me to improve my communication skills! Thank you

@TheWizardOfWords 3 жыл бұрын

Thanks for letting me know Gla$$$Walll. Did I get that name right?

@GlasssWalll 2 жыл бұрын

It’s Kelly :) My profile is ancient and due for an update!

@Angelchickie101 Жыл бұрын

I love your professionalism ❤❤❤❤

@missdeep6260 4 жыл бұрын

The background is bothering my eyes lol the pattern looks like it’s moving .. i love ur content

@blackmamba2613 Жыл бұрын

Thank you very much for this video, it change everything. It's work s out for me.

@TheWizardOfWords Жыл бұрын

Great to hear, and please share this video.

@deborahmartin6835 3 жыл бұрын

Lol! I found you 5 days ago. This is my favorite video so far. Lol

@kaminisalunke9550 3 жыл бұрын

Excellent communication skills Sir. You are great.👍

@TheWizardOfWords 3 жыл бұрын

Thanks Kamini. Please like and share!

@smoothacceleration437 3 жыл бұрын

Damn, that was such a powerful & masterful delivery. Great video.

@TheWizardOfWords 3 жыл бұрын

Many thanks for your comment. I hope you liked and will share the video.

@beth6102 4 жыл бұрын

Dan is SO wise!

@chinkyfist6655 3 жыл бұрын

This video was very helpful. Thanks again. I'll have to keep watching your vids.

@TheWizardOfWords 3 жыл бұрын

Please watch, like and share Chinkyfist. I would very much appreciate that. Dan

@vivianawolford6102 Жыл бұрын

Thank you for all you help and wonderful communication knowledge.

@dawnmarshall1290 8 ай бұрын

That is sooo funny! I've once hada boss that kept calling me by my official name instead of the one on my name tag! Lol! It was on purpose and I was too timid to correct her. Listen to Dan! I regret not standing up to her. Thanks Dan!

@marilynl2545 4 жыл бұрын

Fair is an annual event in some states featuring farm animals....one of my moms sayings....

@hylabrookbooks Жыл бұрын

these are so so helpful!!

@TheWizardOfWords Жыл бұрын

Glad you think so!

@bluelight5706 4 жыл бұрын

Thanks so much!!!🦋🦋🦋

@sunflower-bp6np 3 жыл бұрын

I've done it with a co worker ... it actually work... but now that I've seen your video I'll do it conciously

@TheWizardOfWords 3 жыл бұрын

Great and please let us know how it goes, Sun.

@SKW-12 4 жыл бұрын

Brilliant. Elegant. Empowering, Full of integrity. Thank you! I especially appreciate your underlying thread of loving expression. I hope you are with people who love you, too ^u^

@spd2978 4 жыл бұрын

Dan, wishing you a speedy recovery.

@susanwines5407 2 жыл бұрын

Thanks!

@princessrosy403 11 ай бұрын

You’re amazing!!!! Glad I found you!!!!!😢😂😮😊😊🎉🎉❤

@meeganhargrave5899 Жыл бұрын

What do you do if you politely stand up for yourself to a passive aggressive boss, and tell her how you feel about a certain situation, but she then turns it around on you and plays the victim? I politely stood up for myself because she acted out of line and was very disrespectful to me, and in turn she got offended and said, "No one speaks to me that way!" I was very polite and said phrases like, "I feel like", and was in no way disrespectful to her. Yet, she got very defensive. She also at times will say one thing one day, and then redact that statement a few days later. Can't ever stick to one plan, and is constantly changing things from one day to the next. It's very frustrating. I want to have a good relationship with her, but when she gets in these passive aggressive, high all mighty moods it makes it very difficult to deal with. I also understand that she is in the authority to act high and all mighty since she is my boss, but at the same time she should respect her employees at all times, and they should be able to communicate their feelings or concerns without the backlash in return.

@TheWizardOfWords Жыл бұрын

Meegan, I can't answer that question without having been there because tone and posture are a very real part of the message you delivered. And some people, even when you perfectly deliver a message, will become defensive. All you can do is your best, and then decide whether or not you can live with this person's erratic behavior.

@sherrianelliott7994 Жыл бұрын

Thank you 🎉

@venicebeckford3341 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you

@ogonebasiamang2163 Жыл бұрын

I can’t imagine myself taking a walk with my boss 😅, you have taught me so much, I have become a better communicator and I am pleasantly surprised 🥳 thank you for your videos I have even shared with my friends because they are essential

@TheWizardOfWords Жыл бұрын

You are so welcome.

@princessrosy403 11 ай бұрын

Oh my gosh.. your just amazing!!!!!!😮😮😮😅😅😊😊😊😊😊😊

@LadyBug31705 2 жыл бұрын

So true! I did just that last year at work. And I that is what I have told others, " Jesus flipped tables in the temple." And He is our example to follow. Sometimes we have to flip the tables for others to take us seriously.

@vivianawolford6102 Жыл бұрын

That would be an interesting way to do it. Sometimes I feel that way

@louisbates673 4 жыл бұрын

I love this channel but does anyone have a boss that has the time to walk around the block with them?! Saying stuff like "I expect more from you" is a bit condescending, hats off to people who go ahead and take this approach tho!

@vexstar151 3 жыл бұрын

BEST, REAL Advice for the workplace that I've ever learned! I only wish I could be that straight forward AND assertive tho... especially w/ The Boss! But thank you for this! Hopefully in time, I'll learn to mix a mild amount of assertiveness into my constant people-pleasing manner (aka, constant sugar coating)!!🤞🏻🤞🏻 P.S. Such a delight to find your channel 💝☺️💝

@TheWizardOfWords 3 жыл бұрын

Karen--not "A Karen" (thankfully) Please keep trying, poco a poco--to be assertive and straightforward. It's OK to be a people-pleaser, but not at the expense of your own needs. And I'm happy we found each other :)(

@gbrieannful 3 жыл бұрын

@@TheWizardOfWords you’re the first person I’ve heard say it’s okay to be a people pleaser. I always that was a negative trait. Interesting 🤔

@jennyaskswhy Жыл бұрын

Love this

@TheWizardOfWords Жыл бұрын

Many thanks and please spread the word :)

@daisyhuntsmen8022 3 жыл бұрын

I’m smarter than I thought. I did this and used a lot of the language here before I even found this channel. My boss on the last hour of the last day of training went off on me because I worked for 4 days 3 years ago by a hired contractor in the same field. I answered her line of questioning, and she literally said, omg forget it, it like pulling teeth with you. Then circled around again picking off more information, and rewording her questions. I answered and she said It not ok, and said my name in such discuss that it could not be taken any other way but as upset. So that co tinted for 20 minutes in front of 5 other people in training class. I reported to my Temp Agency what happened. 2 days went by and the response was, oh she was just questioning something, it’s ok report to work on Monday @7:45. Um no it’s clearly not ok. I feel attacked, do you think I don’t know what an attack is?

@myang651943 Жыл бұрын

I've tried these with employees and it works but doesn't work for a boss or a supervisor. They think they are always right and they do no wrong. Even as a manager to manager they have taken it the wrong way.

@ActionAimz 2 жыл бұрын

At first I was like no way would I say that to my boss but I get it in context it totally works!

@TheWizardOfWords 2 жыл бұрын

I think so, ActionAimz.

@advocateagainstantisemitism 3 жыл бұрын

I think I love you lol. And I'm pretty sure you'll never see this comment anyway, but I had a major issue with my boss last week, and I'm expecting a show down in front of my colleagues tomorrow as is her habit to embarrass me. I am TAKING NOTES. I already feel less anxious. Thank you so much for your videos. Love, from your new favorite fan !!!!

@TheWizardOfWords 3 жыл бұрын

Oh I saw it. I try to read and answer these comments as time allows. Be sure and give me an update from your meeting with your boss.

@advocateagainstantisemitism 2 жыл бұрын

@@TheWizardOfWords well......here we are 9 months later and I have a new job. 😂 I'm also back to watching your videos and taking careful notes for my flashcard collection. So that what happened at the last job never happens to me again.

@MayorgasHotWheelsWorkshop Жыл бұрын

love this videoo on the GGGGGsSpot!!!

@a.d.b535 9 ай бұрын

After much abuse, I grew a backbone, looked at boss man direct in the eyes and told him to deal with me as a professional. He's backed off since.

@TheWizardOfWords 9 ай бұрын

Proving that it CAN be done and you WILL be respected.

@svingysvingy 4 жыл бұрын

re question of saying “woman to man/Man to woman”: How about “person to person”?

@Bradley9967 4 жыл бұрын

Face to face

@krisvars6122 3 жыл бұрын

won't work boss is an animal.

@stephaniefrost8508 4 жыл бұрын

I have a question that I’m sure many others have. My supervisor has been singling me out for a year because I called her out on behavior that was directly lowering my teams performance and upsetting everybody. What this supervisor will do is make sure she didn’t do anything wrong, but rather one of the team members will have the blame on them. Usually, this is a result of there being some kind of invisible rule that she hasn’t told one or all of us. What can I do to maintain my image to everyone else or get her to stop doing this?

@stephaniefrost8508 4 жыл бұрын

Just Moi That’s what ended up happening. Lol Great explanation 😁

@sugarfalls1 3 жыл бұрын

I'm sorry to say this, but narcissists don't think they do or have done anything wrong. I've never thought a supervisor would bend over backwards to change their behavior. If she's singling you out, then you'll have to wait until it blows over. And don't bring up anything again about how she treats you. If she demeans your teams performance, that's a reflection on her and you can just show them to rise above it. I'm sorry but I don't think there's anything you can do since you pointed out what she's doing. I'd like to know if you changed jobs since then or if things have gotten better.

@DarthTwilight 2 жыл бұрын

Get everyone to tell you how she does it, then find the common thread. People like that are wolves, and they often go for the one that they think is weakest, and by that I mean in job, personality type, something that reflects their insecurities, etc. Find the pattern? You find the way to fix it with everyone on board. Gather information, but learn to do it subtly. Steer the conversation from at least two others, then, just let them talk, and you'll find out if this person is gonna tell you anything useful. If they look like they're shocked, just say, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked." This will prompt either a verbal and or non-verbal cue. Assuming you know how to read people, this will give you at least four different options if you use yes or no questions when you finally get them talking about it with open-ended questions. No matter what, be sincere.

@Fiiii4567 4 жыл бұрын

Brilliant Dan! Dont choose the roof top to talk though,it be awful if an accident happened 🤣

@katarinatibai8396 3 жыл бұрын

🤣🤣🤣 I had the same tought - 😆 - it would be to big temptetion for me.

@imalwaysme4332 Жыл бұрын

🤣😂🤣😂🤣😅🤣😂🤣😅

@user-rf5pb7cx6z 3 жыл бұрын

I wish I wish I had your Gift. Thanks so much :)

@uknowitliberty6373 4 жыл бұрын

#Truth.Be.Told.

@kiyasuihito 8 ай бұрын

Love this video 🎉 As a man raised by a narcissistic father and in a feminist culture who constantly bombards men to be passive and harmless and submissive, I find your content incredibly helpful. Thank you! 🎉🎉

@TheWizardOfWords 8 ай бұрын

You're welcome, Rudy, and please check this out. kzfaq.info/get/bejne/eb5ziNCcy7OydJ8.htmlsi=4G1MBK6LVNoUAmhm

@JustMe-qe2ki 3 жыл бұрын

OMG TRIXIE 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣. Awesome advice

@arizonanative7409 3 ай бұрын

Dan… I work 100% remotely. My boss changed toward me after the higher ups complimented me. I’m going to try your ideas.

@TheWizardOfWords 3 ай бұрын

Let me know, Arizona.

@SKW-12 4 жыл бұрын

My team are very focused on framing anything with positive words. But we notice that something can be fine when spoken, yet can seem presumptuous or passive aggressive if expressed via email. For example, when speaking: "Would you mind helping me with ...?" The collaborative answer is "no", implying "I don't mind - but it seems counter-intuitive to say "no" when agreeing to do engage in something. INSTEAD we ask simply, "Would you help me with ...?" to which one can answer, "Yes" - and this feels like a better response that moves both parties forward. However, in writing, the simpler version seems too abrupt. Do you have any videos/tips on adapting best phrases depending on the delivery format (spoken vs. written)? Or, perhaps there's a different way altogether of posing such a question. Thanks, Dan. 🙏

@judojohn11 Жыл бұрын

I did. Now I don't have a job. I feel like a failure. I loved my job. Is it because I let them know they couldn't schedule us to be on call without pay? They said they have to let me go because I can't remember the processes while putting jewelry together. Yet I completed everything and the customers were happy.

@indigosungirl 2 ай бұрын

And when you’re well-seasoned you would say right there that you don’t go by that name. Then don’t answer to what is not your called name. “Why do you keep calling me Mary when I don’t go by that”

@shaylajwashington8139 2 жыл бұрын

Good day, Dan.

@TheWizardOfWords 2 жыл бұрын

Good day, Shayla.

@ruthycantfail 3 жыл бұрын

Very interesting. I started a job last month and my manager has changed my name from Ruth to Lucy! At first I was kinda like “I don’t care” (the reason for the name change being I teach foreign kids who might find it hard to pronounce Ruth), but it’s started to really piss me off, especially as she barks orders “Lucy! Do this/that”. So another manager, who may be her boss, haven’t figured out the hierarchy yet, has told me she doesn’t agree with it because the kids need to learn how to pronounce sounds that are hard for them, so going to have a chat with line manager about it this week and ask to be called my actual name! So this was very helpful 🙏

@TheWizardOfWords 3 жыл бұрын

Glad to be of help, and btw, as a former teacher, I'm going to weigh in: Your name is Ruth; that is what you should be called.

@ruthycantfail 3 жыл бұрын

Online Communication Skills Training Courses thanks so much for your reply Dan! I spoke to her about it today using your tips and it went well, I’m now Ruth again 😂 I also asked her to stop manhandling me which she had been doing the past couple of days, roughly grabbing my arm, so the video you did on asking people to stop touching you also came in useful! Love your work 🙌

@Scorpio12348 2 жыл бұрын

Omg unbelievable

@angelaking8580 4 ай бұрын

My boss wants me to step up my goals and I asked to job shadow her position, (because i want to become a supervisor) its been 2 years and each year this is the reply" you can but its boring, send me the request again but if you dont want too, its okay" She is a bully and can be aggressive...what do i say!?

@Pumpkinshaker 4 жыл бұрын

Great advice, but it Wouldnt work with my boss, unfortunately.

@holdyourhorses9842 3 жыл бұрын

Mr. Dan, I've got a boss who is loud and serious at all times. He tilts his head back and looks down his nose at me when I have question. Is that a narcissist?

@april2161 3 жыл бұрын

Will you offer any more training in the future? I just discovered you today. There were references to signing up but only for a limited time & I see nothing about it below. I am bummed about getting in late. Thank you.

@TheWizardOfWords 3 жыл бұрын

Ruefus, training is my life. If you want to take a look at my upcoming course that is currently on pre-sale, as well as my VIP package and individual training courses, go to www.danoconnortraining.com/ and click the "learn more" link at the top of the page for information on my pre-sale new course, and click "shop" to see everything else. You haven't missed a thing. I'd love to welcome you to my training! Dan

@april2161 3 жыл бұрын

Whoa. I can't believe you answered that quick. Thank you.

@Butterflyneverlands 3 жыл бұрын

I’d just look behind me and say, “Mary?” “Who’s Mary?” LOL

@jasimalyousif8054 4 жыл бұрын

Is there any possibility to ignore someone trying to embrass you of others?

@marilynl2545 4 жыл бұрын

HI Dan hope your burns heal soon maybe some aloe Vera will quicken the wound or rx silver sulfadiazine cream

@HomemademasksNet0 2 жыл бұрын

Very helpful and I can tell you enjoy turning the tables very much 😁 I would like you as my lawyer whenever I am in my people pleaser mode 😄

@TheWizardOfWords 2 жыл бұрын

Deal!

@techworld-kc6lt 4 жыл бұрын

How about in a work place that is low paying I.e. hair salon they are unwilling or impossible to hear you or the moment you speak they talk loader with any words that make no sense in other word they don’t want to hear anything from you; also they know that the owner is short of stylish and they will not be fired

@MrOMYSTARZ 3 жыл бұрын

God said, "let there be Dan"!

@TheWizardOfWords 3 жыл бұрын

HAHAHAHA, thanks Johnnie. Don't let my mother see this. She'll call it blasphemy. :)

@saltylavender7096 5 ай бұрын

My bosses are so awful, i couldn't possibly say those things. They take no personal responsibility 🤷‍♀️

@TheWizardOfWords 5 ай бұрын

Then you should be out of there, Salty.

@Beautifulblessings88 6 ай бұрын

I been at this job for awhile and I'm getting tired of my boss. She acts rude and loud she wants you to cater to her needs and she micromanage. She's been making me go to the store for her. She treats me like I'm her personal shooper and I'm not. Also when we run out of food at lunch for the students she blames us but the blame should be on her cause she tells us not to make anymore even though I ask her ahead of time to make more. She told me to tell the kids we are cooking more even though we're not she doesn't want me to tell the students we're out of entree. Also when I haven't clocked in yet she asked me to do something I tell her but i haven't clocked in yet she say she doesn't care go do what I told you. She nit picks at certain things even though she doesn't have to.

@TheWizardOfWords 6 ай бұрын

You know what to do.

@ScooterMcWhatnow 2 ай бұрын

why would you continue working with that :O take control of YOUR life

@Butterflyneverlands 3 жыл бұрын

Good advice but I don’t think it’d work with most bosses. You can get fired or harassed in a passive way (oxymoron maybe?). Be careful using this with your boss. But with others? Oh yeah, baby!

@biljanas7931 Жыл бұрын

I agree with you. When they need you, you can stand on their head they wouldn't mind. On the other hand, when you seem redundant, nothing you say will be taken seriously.

@Its_Renee_ 2 жыл бұрын

My boss dismisses every good thing I try to do that would improve work life. I type a form that's beneficial to customers, she shreds it when I'm gone. And talks about EVERYONE behind their backs. I'm not a threat because God knows I love 3rd shift and I don't want to be a GM!

@liebersohn6868 2 жыл бұрын

What would you do when your boss burries you with a lot of work 4 times than other employees,you still shine though the set up, that same boss brushes off your concerns and unethical behaviour that you are enduring the impact and said focus on your role and do not bring other people behaviour.What would you do when you are singled out and your concerns and standing up for yourself getting you to be labelled by your boss as you are being argumentative and making negative comments that are not acceptable in the company Baring in mind I am a very high achiever,my boss wanted to break me, but I shined though the odds.

@jacknjill3000 7 ай бұрын

My boss when wanting to talk, always says not now or we’re not going to talk about that now. This manager seems like he’s not aware of his incompetence and have created skills to avoid explaining or avoid the whole issue. So what should I do or say that I demand to have a talk with you?! Why do upper management and do checks or ask staff that’s under this manager on how they’re doing?

@TheWizardOfWords 7 ай бұрын

I would send my boss an email requesting an appointment at his earliest convenience.

@1rocknroy 3 жыл бұрын

I am so grateful to be retired from the workplace. Thank GOD!

@fim-kaukimoce7283 3 жыл бұрын

Dan I really want to do this however there is a language barrier. What should I do?

@TheWizardOfWords 3 жыл бұрын

You'll have to work on you linguistic skills, FI.

@billabong260 3 жыл бұрын

But if they are difficult to begin with, they won't budge, in fact my ex boss would do the exact opposite, just to make my life hard and make a point that I am a nobody... no matter how diplomatic I'd present this...

@TheWizardOfWords 3 жыл бұрын

Hi Billa: Given that the situation was that dire and the boss so totally entrenched, you did the only thing you could do--you left. Good for you. Yes, there are some people who don't hear words and the only thing you can do is give the relationship what it needs--distance.

@dvillebenny1445 4 жыл бұрын

How can you ever have this conversation if " the boss" says "no, I haven't got the time". basically to listen to your conversation. Nor do they want to, or "smell a rat" conversation coming. Or honestly don't care about your personal agenda? In so many cases "the boss". really doesn't give a darn as long as the work is getting completed correctly on time. Frankly if I heard all this non-sense I'd be finding a way for you to take your job to a different department or out the door. Usually, a simple phrase like" Ms. Boss I prefer to be call by my middle name Lee Anne." every time she addressed me by my un-used name of Mary. And after I asked her a number of times to address me by me preferred name I would go to HR and complain. That is their job to correct this person not you, that way it's on record if your in a larger company. If you're in a smaller one I would politely continue to ask her to address you by LeeAnne or ignore her when she calls you by Mary. You can rarely change someone else's behavior, you can only control your own, how you react to other's behavior, if you choose to react at all. This might work with a co-worker giving you passive aggressive issues, and there are a number of phrases that would work well here.

@dlon8899 4 жыл бұрын

100% agree. It's training ourselves, stoicism, or whatever. My time and energy is precious, my paycheck is my goal at work. Everything else is not significant or worth reacting to personally

@healthiswealth7555 5 ай бұрын

Can you do a video on how to deal with a narcissistic boss?

@TheWizardOfWords 5 ай бұрын

Check my YT channel; been there, done that.

@Dina_Darling 3 жыл бұрын

Person to person evens the playing field.

@TheWizardOfWords 3 жыл бұрын

Right.

@Sizzle43 4 жыл бұрын

Dan. I work in an unprofessional environment have a foreman who includes the other team members in our arguments because she has them wrapped around her fake ass. I just usually don’t say anything most of the time and don’t make buddies as I just put my head down and work. Sometimes though I try to make a suggestion to my foreman and that’s when it blows up. I don’t know what to do in those situations when she is trying to get me to look like an idiot in front of her “support crew”. I have no support. My main boss tells me to just be neutral but he does not see it happening. Anyone else have any suggestions too?

@youparkedinmysafe-space1476 3 жыл бұрын

Your best bet is too hardcore ignore everyone there. Be the most unpleasant person to be around and at the same time study the job and be better than all of them. They will crave your respect. But ignore the sirens. Eventually, you will have a couple of followers who will admire you because of how good at your job rather than a piece of silicon on your foreman backside. Develop your stamina, attention to detail, and maintain a good track record and keep them far off even when they try to buddy up with you because I promise you they will.

@mulan7015 3 жыл бұрын

Record that shit send it to HR or HR hotline. Sue them. Just make sure to know the recording laws in your state.

@mela.1060 Жыл бұрын

@@mulan7015 you can't record at work unfortunately :( not allowed

@annetterich1460 9 ай бұрын

@@mela.1060ha ha doesn’t stop any of my workplaces…seriously WTH?! Lawyers, anyone?!

@1999PT 4 жыл бұрын

It worked for my kids too , lol I swear

@JulianeBella 3 жыл бұрын

I wouldn’t recommend using the word hostile at work. At the mention of that word in some workplaces policies are in place that immediately when a supervisor hears it he/she must report it. So unless you want to escalate things be aware of internal policies before using this word.

@TheWizardOfWords 3 жыл бұрын

Good point, Juliane. Words matter.

@Nectarine333 2 жыл бұрын

A cigarette with your lung’s name all over it 🤣🤣🤣

@TheWizardOfWords 2 жыл бұрын

Yep.

@sunshinerainbows4627 2 жыл бұрын

Would you understand why a male passive aggressive boss might lay into one person real fast (30 seconds) yet say nothing to two managers who exceeded his dislike in a self interested way rather than a functional way? Example: Set the thermostat at 60 F to prevent freezing 🥶 pipes and the man laid into me due to expenses. Guess supposed to freeze too. Two managers set the temperatures at 68 F when they arrive yet when the day is done all is turned off. Long story short, the man fully laid into me. I sat in no heat all winter because didn't want to lose the position yet never see him. Pipes froze. Pipes burst. The cleanup fell in my hands since I walked into it. Drenched from head to toe. How could I have gone about getting him to spend 5 minutes listening to "afraid the pipes will freeze, we need to address this"? I said this yet he was racing off and stays in a remote office. He'll say he didn't hear me (his back was to me). Fully realize there is a tradeoff between prevention and expense yet he's not listening to reason. When the time comes its like nothing was said. Also, if he said, "set at this temperature only" that's simple. OR "is it possible he's angry and merely taking his frustration out on me?" This should be easy yet the powers that be seem to "hit and run". Any insites you might have, much appreciated.

@TheWizardOfWords 2 жыл бұрын

I suggest you concentrate on the future. Sit down with this man and agree on a temperature for cold weather. Even 68 sounds very cold to me. 72 sounds reasonable. Agree in advance, when he is not angry or frustrated about ANYTHING. If you can't agree, find a new job. He is literally freezing you out.

@joannab3887 3 жыл бұрын

How do you handle an interrupter who just will not stop interrupting and does not allow you to speak at all?

@TheWizardOfWords 3 жыл бұрын

I would eliminate that person from my circle of acquaintances. If that person were at work, I would avoid them. If I had to interact with someone like that at work, I would look at them but not speak. When they notice this and comment on it, I would ask them if they are ready to listen to what I have to say, and wait until I am finished before they respond. If they say "yes" I would speak. If they interrupt I would stop speaking and just look at them. This would become the pattern and I would not break it. The first time they interrupt, stop speaking and DO NOT SAY A WORD thereafter. Rinse and repeat daily.

@andrestifyable Жыл бұрын

I wonder if this would play out well on the long run

@TheWizardOfWords Жыл бұрын

Why wouldn't it, Andrestifyable?

@vt4316 Жыл бұрын

How do I stop being sensitive if I'm an empath. People can feel this out

@TheWizardOfWords Жыл бұрын

There is nothing wrong with being sensitive. Sensitive people have a right to their boundaries.

@7CFlo Жыл бұрын

@@TheWizardOfWords what about when you ask your boss to leave at 3pm and they say no. Then, 4 minutes later he sends a group text out asking if anyone wants to leave at 3. He also adds that he doesn't care who it is.

@adultcellolearner4574 3 жыл бұрын

Saying this to your boss would probably result in being sacked at the first opportunity. And using gendered language opens up an immediate opportunity for them to report the incident to HR.

@TheWizardOfWords 3 жыл бұрын

Could you elaborate on the "gendered language" part? Thanks, Adult.

@adultcellolearner4574 3 жыл бұрын

@@TheWizardOfWords Saying "man to man" or "woman to woman". In the UK, sex is a protected characteristic under the Equality Act, so in an employment situation one shouldn't ordinarily refer to another person's protected characteristic. It can lead to all sorts of legal claims, and employers may be very touchy about it. Doing it also gives the other person leverage over you and leaves you vulnerable The further complication is that you may not know how the person identifies themselves.