The person who is least invested controls the relationship. The trick is to recognize this early on so you don't waste your time.

Breadcrumbing is simply getting enough of them to survive, but not enough to thrive... If you except breadcrumbs, you will always be starving💯

It became more apparent when his lack of effort was excused by him being tired and working a lot..when he works no more than he used to. I feel better being alone than being with someone who makes me feel alone.

I didn't know it was breadcrumbing because this is how I felt my whole childhood with my parents. They were never available for me, never wanting to spend time with me one-on-one. And I was so used to missing my own mom and dad - so much that it always hurt me. But they told me they loved me. So, I learned that missing someone (so much that it hurts) is what love feels like because I truly loved my parents and thought they truly loved me too. But only in my late 30's I realized that loving my parents actually was a very painful experience. When, already as a teen, I had implied to my mom that I felt like she didn't love me enough and that I felt like I couldn't get any of her attention, she raged at me and screamed wildly, making me feel guilty, spoiled, entitled and crazy. So, I learned that having needs meant I was selfish. Later when my two boyfriends started breadcrumbing me, I felt it would be selfish of me to complain about that and I just continued to miss them more and more, never bringing up the issue. My first boyfriend eventually ghosted me. The second boyfriend didn't ghost but discarded me. I was so emotionally devastated. Indeed, my heartbreak was brutally painful. Fortunately, youtube videos, like yours, taught me more about love than my own parents could teach. Thank you so much for your tools. I'm getting better now.

Your empathy about emotional pain is so appreciated.

My Breadcrumber replied to my snap story and guess what I did?? LEFT HIM ON READ!!!!

I'm glad you're advertising - you deserve and earned it. You are elegant, intelligent and a class act.

I’m finally aware and onto Bread Crumbing . It’s just enough to keep you hanging in . A relationship that is going somewhere has a natural pattern of moving forward with consistent actions . If it doesn’t move forward or stops and starts then time to cut ties . Agree they think you are on their back burner . They will gladly lead you on .

I've been through 3 years of breadcrumbing to the point of severe physical illness from the stress and can say the guy who said "Its not about you -Its them" is completely right. There is always an issue with a breadcrumber being it depression or whatever but there is a reason theyre doing this and it's with them. I am not saying this to make those who have been treated this way feel better but this is experience and turning the issue inside out over 3 years. The problem is with them, they have something big in their life thats wrong and thats why they cant invest in a relationship. So when someone does this my advice is to end the contact and do NOT under any circumstance look back.

Another bread crumb: Me: we should meet up. Them: sounds good. And then it never happens lol

I noticed a guy at my gym keep making eye contact with me. Naturally, I would look back. I wasn't sure why he kept initiating eye contact. I felt that I should just go over and introduce myself. Did that. Learned his name and felt a connection. He waved at me from across the gym more than once. More brief conversations led me to believe he was attracted to me and wanted to keep getting to know me. I began to get excited and feel it was the start of a new relationship. Began to develop feelings for him. I made steps to actually go on a date with him. He said it would be a couple of weeks. I asked about his weekend and he mentioned spending time with his daughter and his wife's family. I decided to friend zone him just as a protective measure for me.

Hi fromTasmania, Australia. Breadcrumbing is the worst! So emotionally draining 😔

I'm afraid that a lot of people are afraid to face the fact that the breadcrumber is just playing games. They themselves so want to believe the excuses, delays, etc because they want to feel the other is truly interested and has plans with them someday. It is quite adult and grown up to read between the lines and lies and deceit and move on with your disappointed heart and soul. I have found that many young victims cannot be shown the truth and will defend these stupid games and selfish behaviors. It's a shame but I guess it takes what it takes to mature and get gut level honest. A twice divorcee and 52 year old female like myself ain't got no time for no foolishness! Lol Thank you and keep up your awesome guidance and support.

If a guy starts reducing or giving his attention to me, and no good reason for it, giving bits & pieces or just calling you up when he is lonely or his friends ditched him so he now thinks about you. They say "it be nice to see you today" and I say "maybe next time" over & over.

I have spent the whole day watching your videos and I could cry from gratitude. Thank you sooo much for making these videos. I feel exponentially better right now at 9:40pm than i felt when I woke up at 8am . Thank you. I feel my healing happening from the inside out. Thank you! 🤗

I think you hit it perfect. You want someone who wants what you want and they want to go with you💯

“Good Morning Gorgeous, how was your night/weekend”. When I would respond with thoughtful replies with some detail he would ask no further questions/ show no interest in conversation. It was annoying as hell.

Another good breadcrumbing to keep you is,”I honestly care about you” then you don’t hear from them for a month

I LITERALLY BROKE DOWN HEARING THIS IYS IS SO TRUE....IM DEVESTATED BUT I THANK GOD I FOUND YOUR CHANNEL PLEASE PRAY FOR MY HEALING..

Rather than blaming another for our experiences, we must accept our inability to move out of a dilapidated relationship which is failing to provide support. If we are accepting this behavior it means we are short changing our emotions. Let's take the challenge to move forward with a new focus and attract the right relationship. Spoilt milk is never useful for preparing porridge & Rotten people can't participate in fulfilling relationships.

I wish I learned this at the beggining of dating again. I am emotionally exausted and it has been really hard to get over a person I liked. He is really emotionally unstable and just needed attantion and my admiration.

This couldn't have come at a better time. I've been talking to a guy for the last month and he has started doing this this week! He went from texting/calling me often to just a quick "How's your day?" now. So irritating! The good news: I know to move right on!

Thank you so much for the information!!!! I just ended a bread crumbing experience that lasted over two months. I’m disappointed but this video is helping me understand the necessity of moving forward. New Sub!!!!!

I played myself - I shadow boxed with my animus for years, and years... with the same man. It was always emotional. Waiting and waiting... because he always came to me to prove our connection. Now, up to this very moment - Covid has exacerbated the need for physical touch, you know, warmth from and with a good friend. But it’s always just enough. I feel it. He never comes fully through. The bottom line is I have to accept responsibility for my choices that built this deserted Castle. I wake up daily by degrees - to my own strength, or lack of it...

I was literally in tears when you said the right person will say, tell me more. Thanks for your videos

Branford CT. He denied his other relationship. I was breadcrumbed after love bombing. I handled it! I wanted him to know I knew, so I sent him an email with just subject line filled in. “I DESERVE SO MUCH MORE, STICK WITH YOUR CLEANING LADY” then I blocked him on my phone. I’m so done! Thank you. Stay safe. 🌹

Yeah..it's called GAME....I burst out laughing...😂😂😂...brilliant Susan ❤

I'm from Cape Town, South Africa. I enjoy listening to you.

I have been mentally and verbally abused very recently by a horrible man who was deeply wounded as a child, physically abused and neglected and did jail time. He wielded it over me with power, making me feel stupid for wanting a deeper relationship with him. He only meets at night, only wants sex and then he'd reveal his deepest darkest secrets to me and then push me away and cycle back and forth telling me he wants me then treating me like shit. i walked. Never going back. i have cried bitter tears over him. He will never get to do that to me again. I fell in love with him and i know my brain and heart will heal with time. None of my friends understand how i feel. it is isolating and lonely but it is what it is. i am an adult and i must pick up the pieces and move on. he (symbolically)threw scraps at me on the floor like a homeless dog begging for food. It is still playing with my psyche.

Thank you Susan, thank you for helping us in our confused state and sharing us the tools and analysis we need. I love your passionate vibe and tone when you make videos. We, as the viewers, can feel your authentic self and it's easy to understand the information you share.

Ladies, I've been blessed with great healthy long term relationships. When a man adores you authentically, he will bookup your calendar months in advance. Become healthy friends first... men who want to use you can't sustain a real non sexual friendship.

Man, this is dead on, Susan; you nailed it.

Susan you are an amazing woman! I was settled for breadcrumb for over10 years. Your video helped me so much. I hope to arrange a private session with you, my story is so different and I need your insight. Hope to talk to you soon.

Thank You Susan for this thorough examination of Bread crumbing. Just recently went through this, and didn't know that there was a "profile" on this type of behaviour. Thanks to you, I can clearly see that my " being around", close to her orbit as you put it, fulfilled all of her needs that she had from me. I, of course, wanted more. Already knew enough these past few months to stay completely away, and that having created hat space, along with my continually trying to figure out this whacky world of interpersonal relationships, and along with truly helpful people like you, will end up being my salvation in the gut~churning endeavour. Thank you again! Steven, Charlotte, NC

Perfect timing Susan , with a guy who calls me his partner and girlfriend yet haven’t had a phone call in two weeks just the usual miss you so much texts and plan to see you as soon as possible .I’ve sat back and observed but have made the decision to cut him funny thing is there’s nothing to cut 😆 he’s a very busy with huge responsibility in his work which I’m understanding of but no one is too busy to have a phone call . It’s so confusing I’m done

I so appreciate you and your generosity, Susan. Thank you, thank you, thank you. These videos really help in these hard and confusing times. Makes isolation seem less strenuous.

I am a very direct person. I asked for a video call to discuss this revolving door he thinks is on my life. So I texted the break up bc he left me no other choice because I want to move on. I told him if he couldn't call not to call me at all.

I can't believe I've never come across your page. I absolutely love your advice. Much love from Memphis, TN.

You're so calming!!😌❤

I want to thank you Susan. I finally expressed my feelings for a woman who was breadcrumbing me from last 6 months. I recently came to know about it. Asked her not to talk to me as we are not on the same page....

You have such a big heart, Susan. I love your videos.

Susan you are helping so many people around the world with your wisdom, empathy and kindness. You are brilliant because you've experienced pain first hand, have sought the counselling, done the work and research to be able to deliver your guidance and support to help us all get a better understanding of how to communicate and understand our wants and needs. I am only just awakening to what I want and what I will accept from others. I am becoming more empowered and speak up more. We as people appear to all need some sort of guidance as we are all complex creatures due to our life experiences, and you are just the right fit to teach this stuff. Love what you're doing and appreciate your work and empathetic nature. 💕🤗👍xx

I've just found you. Thank you. Ps; ''They give you just enough air to breath, not enough Oxygen to survive!'' So, True. Besides, they suffocate you at times!

Susan, you're so kind and wise. I love everything you said and stand for.

Susan always nails it, another fantastic live!

Susan...superb content. Intelligent, wise and in high contrast with so many relationship 'experts.' Some in this life are doing precisely what they were designed to do. You are are clearly numbered among them. You are deeply appreciated. May your life be richly rewarded for the truth and wisdom you sow.

Just want to say that I'm grateful that I found your channel. You're GODsend...🙏🏻

Thank you, Susan! I like this format--your educating us, then answering questions. Your honesty and wisdom are such a gift...very much appreciated!

learn detachment 🙃 then breadcrumbing is powerless to impact you .... but if you genuinely love someone don't bother about yourself ...... love is only and all about giving ..... Sans calculating 🙃 losses and / or gains ..... love is love is all

I got "I'll be in touch" this week! LOL I was able to chuckle to myself b/c I had already watched this video once...

Wow, thank you, Susan. Me and my ex are separated for a 6 months now and I was all in this "no contact to get them back" videos. Couple of days ago I found your channel and now I understand much more. They were "grey rocking", "breadcrumbing" me for the whole year of our relationship. F**k them 👌🏻

Susan, We love your authenticity and generosity! We love you. ❤️😘

I’m just stepping back now, saw someone a year ago. Always kept in touch flattered /flirted with each other and made it clear I wanted to take her out again even if for a day , she accepted but nothing got pencilled in. Always too busy with studies . Then saw her profile pics recently, at the festival, at the races, kind of told me. I just got a message ‘ I’ve been thinking about you, how are you ?. I haven’t answered yet, when I do I won’t ask to go out for the day, what’s she been up to and keep it minimum. Will say I’ve been busy. Not contacted her for about 5 weeks now, I think I’m out of trying.

Susan how did you know I needed this video right now? Love you!!

Hi Susan! Thank you so much for such great and supportive information. I appreciate you, your knowledge, experience and perspective. I'm from the PNW, in Washington State. 💙🌲🌲🌲💚

Susan, love you and your videos! Bread crumbers: Off with their heads!🤣

That is actually right. Thanks for the tips on bread crumbing Everything make sense

Hello Susan Im From Nova Scotia, 🇨🇦

we all looking for the love we never got enough of from our childhood - if we learn to love accept and honour ourselves we got more chance to find love !

Hello Susan! I’m from Perth Western Australia. I love watching your videos full of wisdom and passion about relationships. I have grown so much just by listening to you. Thank you so much! 🙏🏼💗🌻🦋

Yes I have just gone NC with a breadcrumber. I think I will say "this isn't working for me" when he next gets in touch!

Yes be direct and call them out asap! I sent my ex a long text on Christmas day for breadcrumbing for two years, while he is engaged and after cheating on me. I felt good by doing that and I wish I've done it sooner. I haven't heard back from him since then and gosh, I'm so happy!

God good. I got caught in this for 11 months until last week i called her out. Also friendzoned by ex. This is an unreal toxic trait. Every time since last august,Soon as i start feeling good boom whack a mole she comes in. Literally any excuse possible….i just said please don’t contact anymore i need to heal. She says i just thought we could be friends uhh nooooo. Left a long message told her how i felt (step kids involved) so made it abit harder but i am finally done with it……i feel for anyone whos dealt with this or is…walk away set yourself free. Painful as it is as mush as i love her and her children. I heard it all. I miss u. I cant commit im confused i dont know what i want blah blaah blah. 🤷🏻‍♂️🤦🏻‍♂️My lord its all text book Susan. Unreal. Thank u thank u thank u for all your videos 🙏🙏🙏🙌🇨🇦

I´m still sad over a "breakup" and it´s been four months already. The thing we had together I don´t even know what to label because it was a hot and cold behaviour and I went along with it. Yet I can´t seem to get over it. I keep thinking about everything that maybe went wrong. I know that I should just move on but still there are this neverending thoughts in my head.

Dear Susan -you have helped me so much in different areas of relationships and self value. Thank you for sharing your wisdom ,insight and advice! p.s. I'm from New Jersey

Hi Susan sending Love from Philippines! 🇵🇭 I love seeing how happy you are having interaction thru super chat your reaction is purely genuine happiness 🤗 keep inspiring us! 😊

Hi Susan, I watch all of your videos, and I must say this one is exceptional from beginning to end. Thank you, as always for sharing your advice!

Absolutely ..predialogue ..Terms and Conditions -Yes!! same situation for me At 60+ i have very little time not to be specific regarding what I am looking for in a potential partner! Love your work /information/guidance -Thank You so so very much Blessings Keep safe,

Susan, your colors are GREAT! Lips nails blouse!

"We should meet SOON" always soon ha

Susan, I've had this twice recently. It's very annoying, but at the same time, I find that being clear and "calling it" helps you to save a lot of time and prevents them from putting you in their orbit. I had a guy contact me out of the blue; we went on one date a year and a half ago. At the time, I was seeing someone else, so I asked to be friends. He didn't seem too keen on that so we went our separate ways. He texted me a year and a half later saying he "missed me" and wanted to meet up. I was keen, but I noticed he started being inconsistent with his texting. Anyway, we had plans for him to come over to my house for coffee (all restaurants are closed) at 2.00 one afternoon. At 2.00, he sent me a text saying he was just getting out of the bath and wanted to "cool down" and have coffee before coming over and that he would "probably" be there before 3.00. I phoned him and said I felt it was a bit inconsiderate for him to mess around our times like that as I had been waiting for him and there were other things I could be doing. He got huffy and hung up the phone on me, and then texted me to say that he "tried" but that it obviously wasn't good enough for me. I calmly told him that no, it wasn't good enough for me, and I wished him the best of luck. Just astonished at the bad manners of these breadcrumbers.

Hi Susan from Brisbane Australia 🥰. Sorry I cannot be in live chat but always love watching the replay. Dont change a thing..your videos are so helpful and you deliver advice in such a beautiful way. Maybe instead of only reading questions from live chat you could have a list of questions from viewers that you collected prior..and when oh when are you coming to Australia to do some live get togethers????? Wouldn't that be super!!! Thanks for all you do xo

Hi Susan. I’m from Scotland. Luv the advice & Guidance.

This is happening be to me right now thank you Susan this is what I needed to hear.

I was whelmed, breadcrumbed and finally ghosted by the same guy.. I think these bad behaviour comes in 2s and 3s.. lol

I love your channel and advice Susan👏❤️❤️

You're so sweet and intelligent Susan. I love your videos!

Susan, thank you so much for your program! I just discovered it today and you are so real! I love the way you state you have the same issues as everyone else. It makes you more relatable. And your logic and the way you express your thoughts are amazing!

CASSIANO MALHEIROS from Brazil. I read your message at the top of the page. And thank you ALEX FLIPS for offering him sound advice! Cassiano, you haven't met in person. You have a LRD, online. You say that it's exclusive, but he's on Tinder. This setup is not in your favor. Exclusivity is by mutual agreement, which you don't have. I suggest you review your relationship goals with each other and consider if this is a workable partnership.

I'm from England And just want to say in this lockdown you are helping soooo much as I'm going through a really hard time 😢😢😢 With someone I'm in love with but he just wants fwb now in lockdown he is been really cool pulling away keep telling him I love him 😢😢😢 xxx

I missed the live but now I'm here. :) (Stockholm)

Thank you so much Susan. Your words have a huge impact and know that you change worlds

I REALLY NEEDED THIS SUSAN THANK YOU SOOO MUCH 😢😢☹💜❤💜💐💐💐❤💜❤💐💐💖💖

You're a true angel Susan. Thank you. From Paris with love💜

And you need to advertise! You’re worth it!

Thanks SUSAN! You are such a GEM

Susan when are you writing a book about all this? I really enjoy your videos and you are such a positive influence in the lives of all the lonely hearts of this world. Take care!

Thank you! This Is essential stuff Susan..wish I knew this a decade ago. Seriously, most folks are messed up.

Hello dear Susan! Thank you for your video's full of wisdom and kindness. I love these series about bad bahaviour. I try to watch it live everytime. This time I missed your live video by an hour, so sad. Keep doing this. Love it! Judith from The Netherlands

So I've been talking to a man every day for the past 2 months and each day after we chat for a least an hour on facetime, he says "talk soon" even though I know we will talk tomorrow. We know we like each other but haven't met yet as he lives in another country. We get on so well and have told each other we like each other but he cannot commit to a relationship so soon. He is really honest and lovely but my feelings were involved from after a week. I often have to create space and remind myself we are JUST friends.

You're wonderful, Susan. Happy to see you get rewarded :)

Sometimes breadcrumbing comes from immaturity! I tend to date younger men. I notice if I act as if I don't care they run right back. LOL

I can’t believe there is a name for what I’ve been experiencing - breadcrumbing and orbating. Exactly!

"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." ~Robert Brault "Walking distance to the Riverwalk" ~AloysiaAndAvery, InITTogether🧚🏽‍♀️🌿

Susan, you've just made me realize that I have never been loved by a woman. I've been bread crumbed and orbited. I think about the ones that I dated that I might have had a chance with, but they were just stringing me along. They were never interested in me. They only enjoyed a free meal and a movie. My efforts were in vain. This video confirms that. I'm going to crawl into a hole now.

Love your videos Susan! You always have the best advice!

Just found this. I really enjoyed it! Loved the interaction and questions. Also loved the dialogue expressed for us! Really, really loved!

My favorite response to this was, I dont keep my phone on my person lol then I found out it was his work phone 😂😂

I've been led on for 3 years, finally I got rid of him