How to Make Good Eye Contact

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Жыл бұрын

Tips on How to Make Good Eye Contact. There are 3 ways but only one eye contact approach is effective. Free Download pdf Confident Speaking: www.alexanderlyon.com/
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Пікірлер: 243

@alexanderlyon Жыл бұрын

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@markstar6899 Жыл бұрын

i either stare at their soul or look at the nice floor

@Instanamaste24 Жыл бұрын

Hahah

@90skidcultist Жыл бұрын

“I see you. Soul and all!” 👁️👄👁️

@xavie8614 11 ай бұрын

Lmao 😂😂😂

@shelmithseth8650 10 ай бұрын

why is this so relatable

@titanssunbreaker4932 10 ай бұрын

Me when walking up the stairs behind a girl, “Ah yes these here stairs are made of stairs.”

@justanotherhappyhumanist8832 Жыл бұрын

I definitely do the first one. I really need to work on this.

@AzhagiyaTamilMagalChajvini Жыл бұрын

Same 😬

@flimedbylia Жыл бұрын

@@mrcochino281 *Stares intensely* 👀

@isabaFOOTBALL Жыл бұрын

I have done with my crush🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧

@florianlion8215 Жыл бұрын

This is so interesting. Cause I hate the first one both scanning others and espadrilles beeing scanned by others. However if it comes to having a real conversation I have no problem to actually look them deeply in the eyes. And even thoughI have no problem in doing this with people in a conversation I do have a problem with making eye contact in the bedroom sometimes 😅

@kiarajay4504 Жыл бұрын

Same 😂

@SurelyGaming 11 ай бұрын

I work at at a restaurant as a cashier, and I struggle so much looking people in the eyes for longer than 1 second. The weird thing is I used to not struggle with it at all.

@averyhenhawk 9 ай бұрын

same here, someone asked me why i was avoiding eyecontact lastweek. now im rethinking everything, look where its got me ^

@skatepark02 7 ай бұрын

I have the same problem. A while after I stopped working in retail I also developed social anxiety and felt uncomfortable around my friends. I feel like social media is doing this to people.

@supermichaelssecondchannel4342 Жыл бұрын

7 to 10 seconds seems extreme, how about 5-7 seconds?

@alexanderlyon Жыл бұрын

5 to 7 is pretty good and much better than scanning. Research shows that 7 to 10 is about what the other person needs to feel connected. But if you aimed for 5 to 7 seconds and did that consistently, I would guess that most people would still feel that you made solid eye contact.

@Andreas-tq7it Жыл бұрын

I was thinking the same, but I think it depends on context. If I would look at someone 7-10 seconds before looking away in the subway, it would be really weird. But if I do the same in a conversation while talking or listening it seems very reasonable.

@supermichaelssecondchannel4342 Жыл бұрын

@@alexanderlyon hmmm I guess I didn’t take into account the other person feeling connected. I’ll give 7-10 seconds a try and see how it goes.

@alexanderlyon Жыл бұрын

Yes, good point. The video is about having a conversation with somebody you know. It's not about eye contact with strangers.

@justanotherhappyhumanist8832 Жыл бұрын

@@alexanderlyonWhat would you recommend for people communicating with strangers?

@spsp209 Жыл бұрын

Thanks for sharing this simple great advice!

@alexanderlyon Жыл бұрын

Happy to help.

@allsimsfair Жыл бұрын

One thing I learned if you’re not comfortable doing eye contact, Just stare on the person’s forehead

@adrianmclaughlin8970 Жыл бұрын

what if there bald then there uneasy

@lavi0111 Жыл бұрын

If you do this to someone you will make others uncomfortable... doesn't build attraction..

@allsimsfair Жыл бұрын

@@lavi0111 will you? You can stare just space between the eyes

@lavi0111 Жыл бұрын

@@allsimsfair yeah.. between eyes is a different thing but if you stare at the forehead it may make the other person uncomfortable.. it's one of the tricks of dark psychology...

@gotrixi9422 6 ай бұрын

One person tried it on me and I felt uncomfortable

@camellia8625 Жыл бұрын

Interesting to understand more about optimal eye contact. As an autistic person I can force myself to make eye contact for the comfort and benefit of the non autistic person I am speaking with but find doing so is very uncomfortable for myself even to the extent it affects my ability to fully take in what they say.

@alexanderlyon Жыл бұрын

Thank you for sharing, Camelia.

@chipotlegal05 Жыл бұрын

This handsome guy at the cinema was working his eyecontact with me oh my gosh I literally stuttered and was acting like a clumsy girl,hopefully this helps😭 because yikes

@swanoflove6833 11 ай бұрын

aww haha, he probably thought it was cute :P

@GratitudeDueLife 6 ай бұрын

Girllll that happen to me a day ago and I freakin freaked out 😭

@chipotlegal05 6 ай бұрын

@@GratitudeDueLife PLSS😭 I can imagine we gotta work on it 🥲

@rigtymord7215 Жыл бұрын

Instructions unclear, got 3 restraining orders. 5 stars would try again

@AUTIS-LONE-WOLF_SCHIZO 9 ай бұрын

😂lil bro only 3!??😂 That’s it bro to get woman you have to at least be on death row woman want bad boys😎

@cherylecooper906 Жыл бұрын

This is awesome advice, Alex -- with great points! I love that whole idea about connection and comfort. Very well stated! I think for me, if I don't feel comfortable with the other person, I do that scanning thing. 😬 I've never done the stare down. 😅😅 But for those I truly love, like or just connect pretty easily with, I'm able to strike a nice balance regarding eye contact. 🙏❤ Thanks again for another helpful short! 🎯🎯😊😊

@alexanderlyon Жыл бұрын

Thank you, Cheryle.

@pooya4434 11 ай бұрын

That was helpful. Thanks!

@celeste4lyfe560 Жыл бұрын

Thank you! I do number 1 and 2. After having some traumatic experiences I've forgotten how to make comfortable eye contact, this is just what I needed. 💜

@alexanderlyon Жыл бұрын

Thanks for sharing.

@leo67074 11 ай бұрын

@@alexanderlyonsir please help me. I can't eyecontact even with my mom. My eyes getting fear while watching or talking with others and my both eyes watching opposite 's each eye instead of watching equal🥹🥹 please help. I did in-between eye contact it failed, staring others makes me forgetting my explanations.

@V0ldemortV 7 ай бұрын

Nobody cares

@moment-of-glory 11 ай бұрын

Interesting. Thank you for the advice.

@ISPEAKGA Жыл бұрын

Thank you Professor Lyon.

@No-js8bs Жыл бұрын

This is very helpful. Thank you. I have been told many times that my eye contact is too intimidating. When I'm with someone, I naturally want to look into their eyes, especially when they are talking. 99% of the time they squirm, and immediately look away. Maybe I'm just ugly? Idk. I'm just trying to be respectful and give them my attention, and listen. I'll try this technique. I hope it works.

@Paigeechaffins 10 ай бұрын

They are probably just shy…

@rafxjawz5362 2 ай бұрын

Bro I think he's staring at me for 7 seconds 😂 💀💀💀

@summergrewe3214 9 ай бұрын

Thank you!

@munizsims6636 Жыл бұрын

As someone with Aspergers Syndrome, thanks!! This helped me a lot :D

@swanoflove6833 11 ай бұрын

Sometimes it makes me wonder if Im autistic or if I just have low confidence or maybe heck , even both because for some reason eye contact feels so intimidating like I always worry if im staring too much or looking away too much that i seem like i dont care. i want to make sure they feel like i care and am connected, but as you said not staring so much that its weird or feels intrusive in a way. and sometimes i worry about it so much that it makes it hard for me to be present in the conversation and just feel whats going on and listen. i dont want to have to think about it conciously, i feel like its something that should be natural without me thinking, and thats why i worry i have autism or something like that. but i also wonder if its just because i dont have very much confidence haha..

@Paigeechaffins 10 ай бұрын

Me too.. I wonder the same exact things

@conniegreco8409 Жыл бұрын

Thank you 😊

@kester518 Жыл бұрын

I'm tryna hit the notification button❤😊 so I quickly get notified whenever you drop a new video😊❤❤🧠 🇳🇬

@StressHaze 10 ай бұрын

Nice lessons as some consider me to be a sociopath who doesn’t understand basic social interaction Methods. More please.

@shuraimelahi5210 6 ай бұрын

The third one seems to be useful to me then all of those but thanks for this

@GamerXmay 10 ай бұрын

I only looked at my crush by accident because I look to the left, I was blinded by the performance lights and he looked at me 😭 (in my drama class)

@ronnynogha Жыл бұрын

Hi,I'm really interested.thanks

@killergamerid 8 ай бұрын

Thanks❤️

@snipingsloth1053 6 ай бұрын

This is too stressful. I don’t like making eye contact with family so this is asking a lot 🙃

@s841431 11 ай бұрын

I enjoyed the film presented by Alex Lyon. His practical and insightful speech and presentation skills have given me many things to ponder. However, I've been seeking more advice on how to help myself and my high school students authentically implement conventional speaking techniques, rather than just memorizing scripts. Moreover, since we aren't native English speakers, mastering conventional speech is quite challenging for us. Any ideas?

@chineeandvashee 3 ай бұрын

Yup I like #3. Im normally #2 but id like to change that

@TheDragon07 Жыл бұрын

I struggle with this for sure. I feel sometimes that when I look away for a second the other person may interpret that as me being uninterested or bored with the conversation.

@Tommy_2_Smooth Жыл бұрын

Same here do you have any coping methods, i think i may have adhd

@The-Benjamin-786 9 ай бұрын

Important skill

@fullplatestamp9644 Ай бұрын

I def do scanning and glancing but always feel awkward if I try to stare in your eyes. It’s also awkward when people stare at me in the eyes feel like some animal feeling or a contest could be alpha mindset but someone looking the other way can still beat you up after that first hit 🤷‍♂️

@deepikaarora5690 5 ай бұрын

I do the third one 😊😊

@nate2759 10 ай бұрын

I haven’t done it for a long time but, I seem to get away with staring whether it’s a man or a women, sometimes even up to a minute. I don’t feel uncomfortable and neither do they.

@Ashraf.996 6 ай бұрын

Better central gaze , if it’s necessary

@amrmoneer5881 Жыл бұрын

i like the way you talk man.

@alexanderlyon Жыл бұрын

Thanks!

@unknownunicorn567 3 ай бұрын

Thanks, I always avoid eye contact because I have no idea how to make eye contact.

@brandonrodriguez1181 9 күн бұрын

My autistic adhd bipolar ass thanks you and yes all diagnosed

@user-pl5ve7fj9k 16 сағат бұрын

The third way is the one i do when I'm attracted to someone, and it can make people fall in love or just be attracted

@florinmarc5510 8 ай бұрын

for me 10 seconds is an eternity

@Tommy_2_Smooth Жыл бұрын

If im talking to someone is it odd if when i am speaking i normally dont make eye contact

@spike178 6 ай бұрын

Stare till the other person blinks.

@nataliaNOTnatalie 19 күн бұрын

I make eye contact w/ ppl like all the time (I actually have a funny-ish story abt one time), but it’s in larger part bc whenever I’m in public I like to look at my surroundings. I’m also like this close 🤏 to starting staring contests with whoever makes eye contact w/ me, but like my social anxiety would go crazy if they came and talked to me.

@snorriivan6365 Жыл бұрын

I lived in environments where eye contact is considered an invasion of personal space, a challenge to a fight, or that you want to say something to people. I avoid looking at people except if I need to say something especially strangers.

@alexanderlyon Жыл бұрын

Yes, eye contact norms differ depending on the culture. This advice is for the average professional and/or personal conversation in the US.

@snorriivan6365 Жыл бұрын

@@alexanderlyon, Understood, I guess it applies to the avergae North American professional environment but not public social interactions in every context.

@alexanderlyon Жыл бұрын

Yes, these videos are all geared for that audience (because that's my background) and would have to be adapted to fit the situation.

@snorriivan6365 Жыл бұрын

@@alexanderlyon Well in my case it's also the environment that I find myself in at work, but I still carry the anxiety from the social conditioning coming from the part my life I was living in the poor crime ridden neighbourhoods of France and cheap housing districts of Canada. All three completely different from my original Romanian rural background, in which people are mostly calm, friendly, but sometimes nosy, direct and rude. I get by being helpful, respectful, friendly and keeping to myself but I guess I could improve my com skills with videos such as yours. Thank you for your unexpected reply.

@vira-tik 11 ай бұрын

Nobody: Me staring into his soul through the screen

@Anonymous-l2h Жыл бұрын

and that's my problem I don't make eye contact with anyone first but if they do it first and after that I look straight in their eyes and the fact is they sometimes blink and look away for 1-2 sec but when I make eye contact I can't blink or look away I just continue to stare at their eyeballs with a normal eye and silent face this is what happens with me I don't look but when I do I don't blink for a sec and that scares them but I can't do anything it's since when I was a child that's why I make sure to don't even look at them otherwise they will be scared 😞😶

@nate2759 10 ай бұрын

I do the same thing but, nobody is scared I guess cause I’m a women.

@Anonymous-l2h 10 ай бұрын

@@nate2759 oh I know a person she is a woman she has same prblm and people gets scared of her... I think you didn't get it it's like looking at them with a scary murderer's face like a psychopath it can make anyone feel awkward and afraid...

@Anonymous-l2h 10 ай бұрын

well though I like it idk why it feels cool 😅👻

@nate2759 10 ай бұрын

@@Anonymous-l2h Okay I don’t do that.

@Anonymous-l2h 10 ай бұрын

@@nate2759 okayyyy

@spawncampe 7 ай бұрын

I find it easy to look when at a little distance but when they're like 3 feet in front, I find it very difficult for some reason

@AvocadoPlayz4576 3 ай бұрын

Prolonged eye contact

@Skull7727 5 ай бұрын

eyes are very mysterious

@leebit_on_firee 11 ай бұрын

ok so this sounds easy "glance away" but where do i look when i'm not looking at them, i'll just look nervous..😭

@beatsong0004 10 ай бұрын

I have the same problem

@deba6468 9 ай бұрын

Just look around, you can look at outside, or to other people around, you can look at your hands or whatever. As long as you stay calm and only glance away for a short while its okay. I have been learning how to do this, many people seem to do this too

@leebit_on_firee 9 ай бұрын

@@deba6468 i'll try that, thanks

@bpot1927 4 ай бұрын

What I do is move my eyes without moving my head… look away for 2-3 seconds and look back… hope this helps

@haniyamalik489 Жыл бұрын

1st one yess 2nd one meehh😂❤ 3 nah bro nah i cant maintain eye contact with him..I just become so shy also my heart starts beating so fast and i really need to drink water,so i can become normal..Ya its kinda weird that why i need water its actually coz i cant BREATHE when i see him😩❣so😁

@QuielNacion-nx6el Жыл бұрын

I do 2

@JorgeLopez-re8bd Жыл бұрын

Always been a scanner 😢

@Vj45459 3 ай бұрын

7 to 10 seconds? For me, 1 second feels like an eternity 😂

@vedantgadge3964 Жыл бұрын

Bro got those hunters 💀

@RechellMae Ай бұрын

I notice this one guy during one of a conference, I always caught him staring at me and it's because I wasn't use to it I avoid everytime our eyes met, but since it's the 4th conference and he's been acting like this for many times I started feeling uncomfortable although I would like to approach him and ask if what's wrong I was just too shy since I think maybe I'm just being delusional or maybe he was kinda annoyed, btw he's german😅

@fghdfgsgsf7754 7 ай бұрын

@Sheeja_sudheesh 7 ай бұрын

Guys I tried this out. I look at her eyes and started counting 1 to 10 instead of listening what she is saying. And yeah, she broke up with me. Thank you! 💀😂

@alexanderlyon 7 ай бұрын

Dang it! Her loss, brother. Her loss.

@Sheeja_sudheesh 7 ай бұрын

@@alexanderlyon exactly 💯

@joseluislupian1461 7 ай бұрын

I love you

@pengyou2000 Күн бұрын

I do all this eye math then completely forget what they’ve asked 😢😂

@TOPOWTOP 11 ай бұрын

I can also look at the person's mouth to make eye contact right?

@thelasso9478 11 ай бұрын

SEVEN SECONDS?! That’s literally staring

@_Philosopher_ 2 ай бұрын

How to become natural 😢 i became fully robotic i cant even blink eyes normally...if i eye contact anyone for more than 3 secs my heart beats increases...the. I suddenly look to other things....other person says why do u think too much how do i tell them im not thinking i just cant make Eye contact 🤧🤧🤧

@0_An8nym8se_0 Ай бұрын

The first one but i do it for 30s in my school

@humanoid4338 2 ай бұрын

I just mirror theyr pattern

@madcatch7252 7 ай бұрын

Its hard...i read an article way way back i was in high school that direct eye contact for too long would mean you want to murder the person and that kinda stuck on my mind so i made a habit not to do eye-to-eye at all. Not being abe to do it is a struggle for me as a nurse and a father.

@user-vq2sy8hq2m 6 ай бұрын

Wow, is that your eye color? ❤

@alexanderlyon 6 ай бұрын

Blue. No contacts.

@a1m4thah3d Ай бұрын

Holy mother of God, 7-10 seconds? I have Aspergers and 2 seconds feels like an eternity

@mrnm6482 Жыл бұрын

When I talk with friends it's usually the 5 to 7 seconds then look away. With strangers 5 seconds. But when I'm on a date and I like the girl it's 10 seconds ;)

@winkohwinkoh8718 4 ай бұрын

Im literally all of them 😅

@user-ff8pd7yf6o 11 ай бұрын

Should I feel anything or look away

@christymathew2654 Ай бұрын

Friend: So the other day i.. are you even listening Me:5 6 7 8

@JoeMama-sf4yn 19 күн бұрын

1 of the best tips I could give is to not watch so much p*rn bcs doing so will make you have less capability of maintaining eye contact

@dr.santanic_marco1800 8 ай бұрын

The Patrick one

@aliffiehelmy7886 2 ай бұрын

I cried

@Kidslovinmybasementfr 6 ай бұрын

Ok so basically I do the intense one then when they look at me they do it back and I get scared and look always, I BE GETTING BUTTERFLIES IN MY CHEST LIKE

@urfavzanooba 3 ай бұрын

I get nervous when my crush locks eyes with me so i could never like lock eyes with him for more than 4 seconds and i go back to scanning

@xcobyxzei 11 ай бұрын

I Do too much of both. No joke.

@200sgames 3 ай бұрын

You remind me of wade Thomas

@iamjason1279 2 ай бұрын

Ok but no one has eye contact like Tucker Carlson😂

@IIISincerelyIII 9 ай бұрын

I do the second one with guys who think i'm naive. 😂

@unholydiver1095 5 ай бұрын

Her: "why is he saying '1 Mississippi 2 Mississippi 3 .......' under his breath"

@unsure9166 11 күн бұрын

Ok how do I do the darce Montgomery stare tho?

@jamesjames9193 5 ай бұрын

Stare until the other person cries ... or runs away in fear. Lol

@lavi0111 Жыл бұрын

If the other person doesn't break eye contact especially girl then should i?

@beatit182 7 ай бұрын

7 to 10 seconds that's like half my day wasted staring at someone

@mailbericht5718 6 ай бұрын

😅😂😂😂😂🤣

@user-lo3we5lt5t 7 ай бұрын

I had a math teacher in grade 5 and one day she asked me to solve a problem and then when I couldn't solve it she was staring at soul at least for 1 minute I was looking at the floor because she looked horrorifying Not gonna lie 💀💀💀

@thefuturemedico236 7 ай бұрын

Me who is having all three 😢😂

@saleemshahzad4215 6 ай бұрын

Just focus your eyes at the forehead and keep blinking naturally

@eamonnmunroe6102 10 ай бұрын

LoL I remember you you make me excited remembering you. I think of when you were out the back on that chair

@SSS_ZERO 4 ай бұрын

My teacher literally stares at me, literally scares me 💀

@ananyar3526 2 ай бұрын

CAN ANYONE TELL ME HOW TO FOCUS AT BOTH EYES AT ONCE OR PLS TELL ME DO Y'ALL LOOK AT THE PERSON'S ONE EYE WHILE TALKING? i litrrally can't look at both eyes(when we are close to each other means less distance )while talking

@alexanderlyon 2 ай бұрын

Look at one eye at a time if you're sitting close to them. Alternate once in a while. For public speaking, you'll be quite far enough away to look at their eyes at the same time.

@jamesgillies3437 10 ай бұрын

I'm autistic and feel like if I can master this I'll be able to get whatever I want in life

@7465_visnu 11 ай бұрын

@k1tkatty 6 ай бұрын

These are good tips but if I focus too much on my eye contact how am I going to listen to the conversation effectively?? That’s the thing that I’m worried about

@alexanderlyon 6 ай бұрын

You're right, in a way. In the short run, when we focus on a new skill, then our other skills might temporarily not be as good. That's true for any skill, sport, or activity. At first, your eye contact will improve, but, like you said, your actual listening may suffer. But it'll only suffer for a couple of conversations and then both eye contact and listening will be better after a bit of practice. It's best to take the long-term view on improving skills for that reason.