How to Not Compare Yourself to Others During College Apps: Opening Up About My Self Comparisons

Рет қаралды 10,666

4 жыл бұрын

I send out a weekly newsletter on actionable insights for you to succeed in high school/college. Try it free: irisfu.com/newsletter
» Subscribe if you found this video helpful: bit.ly/subscribeirisfu
» Follow me on Instagram: @_irisfu / _irisfu
» Adore my baby Twitter account: @_irisfu / _irisfu
Share this channel with anyone who you think would enjoy our videos! Currently reading this book "Contagious" by a Wharton marketing professor and it's said that word of mouth is the MOST effective way to spread ideas/information! Here is the link to this channel: bit.ly/irisfu Thanks guys and have a great rest of your day ✨
_____________
Things I referenced:
» My Rejections Resume: irisfu.com/rejections-resume/
» The Truth About Being a College KZfaqr: • i ramble to you for a ...
» On Comparisons During the College Application Process: irisfu.com/on-comparisons-dur...
_____________
WATCH NEXT:
» How to Stand Out with Extracurriculars: • Everything on Extracur...
» on Acing Academics:
• Everything on Academics 📚
» on Writing the Perfect College Essay!
• Everything on College ...
» All Tea on College Apps 🍵
• All Tea on College Apps 🍵
» Wondering About My Application Journey? Here's How I Went From Rejected to Accepted to Stanford & Ivy Leagues:
• My College Application...
_____________
how to not compare yourself to others, how to not compare yourself to others at school, how to not compare yourself to others during college apps, opening up about comparisons, opening up about my self comparisons, the culture of comparison, opening up about the culture of comparison

Пікірлер: 133

@irisfu6929 4 жыл бұрын

ooof I've never done one of these "opening up" videos so tbh I'm a bit nervous. I saw that a lot of you all are feeling exactly what I was feeling, which is that "we're not doing enough" or "we're not good enough". That's why I felt that even with all the advice videos I put out, it's important that I do this video to really talk about the real struggles I faced. Feel free to share your experiences with comparisons in the comments as well, but please, please, please be nice!! We're all in a vulnerable position here

@sharanyatammara1791 4 жыл бұрын

Those 0 dislikes are very well deserved.Iris, you're one one of the best college youtubers we have right now.Love you!

@irisfu6929 4 жыл бұрын

HAHAHAH thank you Sharanya ❤️

@k4tommes827 3 жыл бұрын

Noooooo one person gave iris a dislike :(

@jessicalv6442 Жыл бұрын

Thank you soooo much! I am so nervous everyday about my college application, because I read the very top student's personal statement and I keep comparing that to the one I wrote. Ever since, I always deny my own essay. "OMG, I can't feel any passion for biology in my personal statement" and "why my essay sounds so boring" are always in my head. I felt huge anxiety which still haunt me now. My school principal also commented if he was me, he wouldn't wrote an essay like mine. But I also knew that the things I wrote in my personal statement is my mot favorite and proudest thing in my learning process. Watching your video here, I felt a great relieve. Watching your video, I no longer feel the principal's words as a discouragement. It further proves that this is the experience that only I can write about, understand, and experience. Although my essay is limited in showing my passion, I know there's a real curiosity in me that drive me to study. Therefore, I will thrive in any university I go. Nobody says you can only fulfill your curiosity in the top schools. And I'm excited to write a rejection resume to celebrate not only the successes!

@lwnlo 3 жыл бұрын

thank you for the video. i always felt like i don't stand out, i only have high gpa, but don't own any meaningful awards or achievements. and now as sat exams are canceled im going numb.. ugh im already tired of university life

@akshaymurthy2493 4 жыл бұрын

I just got rejected from a nonprofit and what’s even worse is that my friend got in, I know this is isn’t about college but I could relate and this helped. Thanks.

@irisfu6929 4 жыл бұрын

Aw that sucks, and I totally get that feeling. Maybe it’s time to start that rejection resume to celebrate the rejections as well :) I linked mine in the description

@kawaiikace 4 жыл бұрын

expressing yourself through journaling, talking to close loved ones and just focusing on your own journey has definitely helped me get through times of comparison - I didn't get into my dream school and was so upset but just have to remember as long as you do your best though the whole process and remember its no longer in your control can be another coping process ((: great video - this is great for young people as well as anyone facing comparisons - basically everyone should see this!!

@irisfu6929 4 жыл бұрын

This is so true - thanks for this message and pls share this vid with anyone who you think would benefit

@samairamalik3404 5 ай бұрын

ugh, my best friend is applying for the same course as me and its so hard bc i alw compare my activities to hers and feel like shit. I keep thinking abt those B's i got and how thats going to impact my college decision. I dont like this feeling at all.

@Leah-bx4dq 4 жыл бұрын

Hi iris! I’m a rising junior and I just discovered your channel a few days ago and you’re so helpful!

@irisfu6929 4 жыл бұрын

ahh that's great to hear! Thanks for this message :)

@maya-th2bu 3 жыл бұрын

I’m also a rising junior. Class of 22 ! :)

@chelsearose.4945 3 жыл бұрын

i needed this iris; because the college application is going to open in a few days, i've been comparing myself to other people, wondering if i am qualified enough to apply to certain schools. so thank you!

@irisfu6929 3 жыл бұрын

You got this!

@nehasaggi3108 4 жыл бұрын

this video was so necessary

@irisfu6929 4 жыл бұрын

Yes!!! Still trying to work at not comparing to others but it’s something we can all get better at during this time

@lucianavr4354 3 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much for making these videos!

@riyam01 4 жыл бұрын

this is exactly what i needed right now. ive been comparing myself sm during the past few months bc of college apps and i love you for posting this. thank you!

@irisfu6929 4 жыл бұрын

Yay! Glad it resonated

@vivianwang5571 4 жыл бұрын

thank you for this video it was amazing to hear this from you - keep doing what you’re doing!

@irisfu6929 4 жыл бұрын

Thank you and really appreciate you leaving this comment!

@AlexaMarsh 4 жыл бұрын

I love this Iris! It's so easy to fall into the trap of comparison with school, work, and so much more. It's comforting to know, though, that self comparison is something we all struggle with and there are ways we can actively work to stop it. :)

@irisfu6929 4 жыл бұрын

So true!

@livaandrianjaka2297 4 жыл бұрын

Excellent video! Those are very helpful advices not just for college students but for everyone! Thank you very much Iris! You’re so true!

@irisfu6929 4 жыл бұрын

Happy you found value in this video!

@tate2252 4 жыл бұрын

this made me feel a lot better, thank you !

@irisfu6929 4 жыл бұрын

Good! Keep doing you!

@luavlogs4792 3 жыл бұрын

Hi! I am just watching you from Brazil and I wanted to thank you for the video! It really passed an extremely important message and it really helped me! Loving your channel! :))

@johnliu977 4 жыл бұрын

This video is 10000/10 😤 thank you iris for delivering

@irisfu6929 4 жыл бұрын

What a fabulous review 😩 Thanks John!! :)

@yourbestiewow4375 4 жыл бұрын

hey iris! i just wanted to quickly say how much i love your channel and how helpful it is! your videos always motivate me so much. keep up the great work❤️

@irisfu6929 4 жыл бұрын

Thank you for this encouraging comment!! You motivate me to keep making videos haha :))

@heena773 4 жыл бұрын

good video as usual! keep up the good work! proud of you and so inspiring 💗

@irisfu6929 4 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much for all the support!!

@ericji974 4 жыл бұрын

This is amazing, love youuu

@irisfu6929 4 жыл бұрын

thanks for all the support eric! appreciate youu!

@isaacsun5441 4 жыл бұрын

This summarizes my high school experience :) Really dope seeing it come from you though. Great video!

@irisfu6929 4 жыл бұрын

Yeah I feel that so much 🥺 glad it resonated!

@chuhanouyang4448 3 жыл бұрын

Thank you!!

@sallygoose 4 жыл бұрын

I'd totally be interested in the video idea you suggested about making money in highschool/college/how you made money

@irisfu6929 4 жыл бұрын

AHAHAH yes I'm planning that video out! Also a bit nervous bc I don't want to have it come off in the wrong way :/

@Leah-bx4dq 4 жыл бұрын

Yes! That’s a great idea, don’t feel bad about making it, you worked hard to make money :)

@sallygoose 3 жыл бұрын

@@irisfu6929 I'm sure it will be okay because the purpose of the content is to help us out :D

@collegeadvice5110 3 жыл бұрын

Good advice!

@irisfu6929 3 жыл бұрын

Glad it was helpful!

@williamdiep6803 4 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much for making this video! I also compare myself a lot to my other classmates and sometimes think that I won't be admitted to a certain college because they are doing much better than me. But this video helped me out so much!

@irisfu6929 4 жыл бұрын

You got this! Super glad this video helped in some way :)

@nghosh24 4 жыл бұрын

i love your videos so much this is exactly how i feel

@irisfu6929 4 жыл бұрын

Glad it's not just me 😫

@MirandaWen111 3 жыл бұрын

Thank you Iris. Ur words really have healing effects for me, esp at the moment that I got waitlisted by UCLA(

@rohanpande5074 4 жыл бұрын

This video really helped me thanks

@irisfu6929 4 жыл бұрын

Yay!! Stay true to you 🙌🙌

@royalflutes 4 жыл бұрын

Thank you for this video♥️ A lot of us needed this, especially people like me. I love your videos btw, they are so informative!!! Keep going Iris!

@irisfu6929 4 жыл бұрын

Yay! Glad this video resonated. Good luck with everything you’re up to!

@royalflutes 4 жыл бұрын

@@irisfu6929 Thank you. Same to you!

@ariadnamontserrat6027 3 жыл бұрын

Omg i just found the arpi park channel and i was comparing my self to all this collegue youtubers because well im spanish so all the stats i saw online are incredible and everyone has done somany things while i was doing nothing Thanks for this video it was really helpful

@irisfu6929 3 жыл бұрын

Omg feels. Glad this video resonated!

@SigilWen 4 жыл бұрын

Ur an inspiration Iris! Making my first actual KZfaq Video on APs and trying to put myself more out there on my KZfaq Channel. Thanks!

@irisfu6929 4 жыл бұрын

Yeah ofc! It might be a little scary at first but i think the more you put yourself out there and realize that nothing bad happens (or in my case i did get a hate thread but it wasn't AS bad as I thought...), then it'll become less scary! Good luck! I'm super excited for you

@irisfu6929 4 жыл бұрын

Also I love your channel idea of one skill a week!

@SigilWen 4 жыл бұрын

@@irisfu6929 Thanks! I'll also send over my AP Score reactions tomorrow haha

@al-mn7hh 3 жыл бұрын

'because I'm not Arpi Pak' seriously loki lol hahaha. ur awesome Girl!

@davidgirma409 4 жыл бұрын

Thanks for the video 😅

@irisfu6929 4 жыл бұрын

thanks for all the support on every one of my videos!

@davidgirma409 4 жыл бұрын

Iris Fu they are really helpful :)

@aadvikaahuja1485 4 жыл бұрын

This video was extremely helpful! Thanks for your support through this channel. Could you make a video for international students applying to US colleges(an interview with international students who got accepted or just general tips and advice)?

@irisfu6929 4 жыл бұрын

yes I plan on doing some more vids with international students! But if you haven't already, check out the "stanford student series" i have on this channel (there're three vids), and 4/6 students in there are international

@weibai5313 3 жыл бұрын

Love you for ever! -Mom

@armitahosseini8683 4 жыл бұрын

I loved this video because I really relate to it-I think we tend to compare ourselves to only the successes of others. As you said, we have an obsession with always succeeding at everything, and I think that obsession results in all of us glorifying our successful moments, but not showing our failures. However, we do see our own failures, which is what forms our holistic identities. We then compare our holistic identities, which is made of good and bad, with the successes that everyone portrays of themselves, and that is when it becomes unhealthy. Also, I asked last time which font size you used in your book and I think you told me your book's dimensions😹But can you please tell me which font size you used for the text? My book's dimensions are quite close to yours, and I'm using font size 15(and the font is called "lato")...I feel like that is way too big, but I'm not sure. Please help😹

@irisfu6929 4 жыл бұрын

You’re so right on that with failures and successes. I think I used font 12 for normal text and 14 or even larger for subheadings and titles

@armitahosseini8683 4 жыл бұрын

@@irisfu6929 Oh my gosh thanks! I was using 15 for normal text but now I realize that's huge😹

@irisfu6929 4 жыл бұрын

Hahaha 😂

@azumisilver4655 4 жыл бұрын

the rejection resume is such a cool idea! I've been facing some setbacks lately, do you have any advice on getting research opportunities in econ/polisci?

@irisfu6929 4 жыл бұрын

already figuring out how to get over the setback! Great mindset :) I personally don't have experience getting research opps in econ/polisci but if I were to start, I'd send literally tens of emails to related profs with your qualifications, why you're interested, and what you'd offer to their team. Also keep the emails at 3 short paragraphs max -- shorter the better!

@irisfu6929 4 жыл бұрын

Also, always opt to call before emailing

@ariadnamontserrat6027 3 жыл бұрын

Hi! Iris this last day i have been watching your videos and a lot more, im thinking of writing a book like you did (diferent ofc) can you explain some tips or things that helped you? Also ive seen your video about im not sure where to stay. Btw im from spain should I do it in english or spanish (i will probably do english idk) Thank you!!

@irisfu6929 3 жыл бұрын

I don’t think language of your book matters! Did u have any specific questions in mind for tips?

@bardiasafari 4 жыл бұрын

Hey Iris! Great video. I had a general question- apparently some applications like MIT specifically ask if you took the American Math Competitions and your scores. Does that mean that you should do math competitions to get into those schools? Are you at a disadvantage for not doing them?

@irisfu6929 4 жыл бұрын

Not at all -- you are not at a disadvantage. they probably just have that bc otherwise a lot of applicants will end up using the add info section to write that (since mit tends to attract stem students)

@keanu_keo 4 жыл бұрын

Hey Iris. I had just started my own blog to let out feelings I’ve bottled up over my life and to find what I truly want to do with my life. There’s is also the benefit of me being able to put my blog on my college app. I was wondering if the success and reads of a blog matters when including it into your application? It’d be great to know, as I don’t see my free blog getting many clicks 😅😅.

@irisfu6929 4 жыл бұрын

Yes!!’ Def include stats like blog clicks and visitors in your app!

@meghanad.2929 4 жыл бұрын

Hey Iris! I also had a question in regards to the common app. Can I use the additional information section to elaborate on the extracurriculars I have already listed to further explain their significancy and establish their credibility/legitimacy?

@irisfu6929 4 жыл бұрын

You can! I actually listed several ECs i otherwise didn’t have space for in add info. Also included links and press coverage to ECs I did list in the activities section, just as you said, to establish more credibility

@helenhsu6386 4 жыл бұрын

Hi Iris, Do you know what other activities I could do to make a spike with a theme of the syndrome/disease. Thank you so much! Also could you tell me what you used to prepare for taking the SAT. Thank you for your help!

@irisfu6929 4 жыл бұрын

Hi Helen, I'm going to refer to my classic answer which is a book on your interest of syndrome/disease. That activity just seems to be applicable to any interest, and it can be entirely self-directed. I used all of CollegeBoard's free exams on their website, and used some prep books from Erica Meltzer

@meghanad.2929 4 жыл бұрын

Love the video!! Coming from a predominantly competitive school in north Texas, I have always been told by my peers that I am not in the clubs or activities that the quote on quote "asian" student would be in. Despite my accomplishments and projects in the field of interventional cardiology, I was told that I would never make it into the top schools because I dedicated too much time to band. As compared to other states, Texas band is relatively more time consuming and competitive as opposed to band in other states. This constant criticism would always put me down, but now looking back at my accomplishments and leadership within the music sphere of my life, I found myself to be unique compared to the average Indian applicant I was always told to portray. I am not the kind of person who does research for the sake of doing research or competes in competitions for the sake of just winning and putting something on my resume. You don't have to be typical to be accepted. Overall, I hope this message resonates with someone who may be in the same position as I was.💜

@irisfu6929 4 жыл бұрын

ahhh that sucks and I'm glad you found a positive outlook through the whole situation :) keep doing you!!!

@davisjohn1517 4 жыл бұрын

Hi iris, can you give a reason as to why you think Columbia rejected you? Or what do you think you should have done differently in applying to Columbia in order to get accepted there? I also wanted to apply there so I just want to avoid any possible mistakes in my application.

@irisfu6929 4 жыл бұрын

Lol maybe I would’ve applied ED. I also think columbia isn’t a perfect fit for me, so those “why columbia” essays probably didn’t come off well. I think if you genuinely love columbia, then apply ED and your essays will show how you’re a great fit for the school

@adamposti1444 4 жыл бұрын

Hi Iris! I have only participated in only 2 sports for my extracurricular activities and have taken the most rigorous classes for math and science classes only. Do I have a chance at getting into top tier engineering schools? P.S. I have gotten a few B's in lower-level classes but got mostly A's. Your videos are extremely helpful! Thanks!

@irisfu6929 4 жыл бұрын

You definitely have a chance. I think this will come down to your unique insights/narrative, which can really shine through your essays

@adamposti1444 4 жыл бұрын

@@irisfu6929 Thanks so much!

@kurtenriquez2102 4 жыл бұрын

Hi Iris, I come from a low-income area with very little extracurricular opportunities. My only ECs are music (state-level) and volunteering, but I have really great grades. I am an upcoming senior so I feel that it is too late for me to do anything to polish my profile. How can I increase my chances at top tier schools given my circumstances?

@irisfu6929 4 жыл бұрын

I think highlighting your background will be amazing! Most students at these top schools don't come from low-income areas, so that's something unique you have to offer. Write your essays and tell a narrative about your experiences in your community, and how you've come to achieve things beyond what's normally expected of students from your school/background.

@michellezhu985 4 жыл бұрын

hi iris! i was wondering if you could give me any honest feedback about my ap scores, as they came out today. i'm a rising junior, and received 3's on ap euro and ap calc ab, and a 5 on ap chinese, taken sophomore year. i'm very disappointed with these scores, as i got As in class and did well on practice questions but completely was off on exam days. i was wondering if these scores will affect my applications to t20 schools in the future? are there any ways i can "make up" for these poor scores by taking a sat history subject test next year and scoring well or something like that, or am i better off just not even reporting them at all (referring to my 3's)? any advice would be appreciated! thanks!

@irisfu6929 4 жыл бұрын

Honestly, I think colleges really understand that this year’s tests are not representative of your ability. They care about your course grade (earned from a whole year of work) much more than your score on a 45 min test. I’d recommend just not sending your 3s in, and I don’t think your app will be affected much at all

@irisfu6929 4 жыл бұрын

I’ve been emailing my AO and the gist is that they’re super understanding of students not being able to take/doing poorly on this year’s exams

@joshallen498 4 жыл бұрын

Hey Iris! This is unrelated but I had a question about subject tests. I just got my AP scores back and didn’t do well on AP bio. Since I want to go in the medical field I wanted to do a lot better. Would taking the bio SAT subject test help a lot if I did well on it? And do you think the AP scores this year don’t mean as much bc of the virus and it was online and cheating? Bc of the virus the earliest date for subject tests is August, which means I have to study for bio all over again. And bc of the virus, as u know, the AP’s only tested some of the chapters. Do u think the subjects tests would also cover those chapter(what we learned in school up until the virus) or do I have to teach myself those topics? Sorry for all the questions. Thank you so much!!

@irisfu6929 4 жыл бұрын

Yes, I’d suggest not submitting the AP and doing ur best on the subject test! And yeah the scores were WHACK this year lol so I don’t think they’ll be taken that seriously (plus the test was literally 45 min)

@joshallen498 4 жыл бұрын

Iris Fu haha ok that makes me feel a lot better!!

@joshallen498 4 жыл бұрын

Iris Fu I got a 3 but if I don’t submit my score will college think I got a 1 or 2?

@irisfu6929 4 жыл бұрын

Nah I don’t think so... I mean, you might have just not taken it you know, esp given the COVID situation. Plus, they care more about your class grade than your score on a 45 min test

@orhaaan 4 жыл бұрын

Iris I really really respect your ideas and thoughts but its to be honest not comparing yourself is easier saod than done. I mean how can some one not compare their self to others that are 100 times better than theirsleves. For example someone who goes to a specialized schol,they have better education,which means better grades and better scores. That means that colleges will prefer that person over yourself. It is really hard living while knowing that. But I really love your videos and you inspired me to do so kany good things Thank You! 🙏

@irisfu6929 4 жыл бұрын

I 100% agree, it’s so much easier said than done. It’s something I’m trying actively work at and I think the best thing to do it to realize your own value and not compare yourself in a scale that the status quo gives. Like for example with what you mentioned with a better education from a specialized school... maybe by NOT getting one, you are actually at an advantage bc you have more grit and initiative, and when you do accomplish the same things as others from privileged backgrounds, it’s more kudos to you. Also, colleges (esp America colleges), put u in context with ur environment. So if you have the same accomplishments as someone from a specialized school, then they will 100% take u over them bc you had to work harder to get here. But yeah, just recognize your own value, even in the non traditional sense ❤️❤️❤️

@orhaaan 4 жыл бұрын

@@irisfu6929 Also Iris, I want to create my own book like how you did. A lot of people recommend using google docs. I want my book to be 7.6 x 5.2 but I don't know how to get it into those sizes. Do you know how to make the measurements?

@irisfu6929 4 жыл бұрын

You can customize dimensions in Canva, but I don’t think Amazon KDP can print that dimension. There are only certain standardized sizes they can print so make ur book one of those sizes (u can see them in your amazon kdp account)

@melodia4015 3 жыл бұрын

Why did you apply to schools in junior year? Shouldn't applicants apply to schools in senior year?

@irisfu6929 3 жыл бұрын

Yeah... my high school situation was kind of strange -- you can hear the full story in another video I made specifically on this! (linked in my college apps journey playlist :)

@forevatemilio5514 4 жыл бұрын

Hey Iris! I need honest feedback. Do I have a chance to get into Stanford or Princeton if I have 4 B+’s and 2 B-‘s in my transcript. I have an explanation about my low grades. This was in my freshman year. I was dealing with a family loss, I was working three part time jobs and my sister had a major depression disorder that affected me. I also had to take care of two siblings. It was really difficult but I tried to keep my grades average. Then, my sophomore year I got all straight A’s except one B in geometry. By the way, the academics in my school aren’t the best. Do I still have a chance?

@queenelizabeth8145 4 жыл бұрын

That's perfectly okay! You don't need to have perfect stats to get into these schools, you just need good enough ones. The most important part of your collegeapp is extracurriculars and essays. Also Stanford doesn't look at your freshman year grades so your gpa will look higher lol.

@irisfu6929 4 жыл бұрын

I second Riyan!! Focus on your ECs and essays :)

@forevatemilio5514 4 жыл бұрын

Riyan Ali Thank you so much for your feedback Riyan!! :)

@forevatemilio5514 4 жыл бұрын

Iris Fu Thank you for responding Iris ❤️

@bodhisilberling8763 3 жыл бұрын

0:19 lol edited 2 seconds after you said you weren't going to

@bigcesar7106 4 жыл бұрын

Have you considered create a discord server?

@irisfu6929 4 жыл бұрын

Oh yes I made a slack group!! Announcing it today but u can join early haha: passion-project-pros.slack.com

@bigcesar7106 4 жыл бұрын

@@irisfu6929 Its not working :d

@irisfu6929 4 жыл бұрын

Try the link in the community tab! (Made a post a few hrs ago)

@PimpIes 4 жыл бұрын

Hi iris do you mind reading my common app essay and telling me what you think about. If you can could you leave an email I can send it to? Thanks in advance

@PimpIes 4 жыл бұрын

Also should I do REA for Stanford?

@irisfu6929 4 жыл бұрын

Hey, I actually can’t just read your essays over email bc of a contract I signed :/ sorry if that’s not the way you envisioned it. If you want me to read your essay, you can sign up for a service here: app.joinbullseye.com/mentors/1809

@irisfu6929 4 жыл бұрын

I don’t think REA and RD will make much of a difference, so just apply at the time when you feel most ready and confident about your app

@PimpIes 4 жыл бұрын

Iris Fu I don’t think I’ll be able to pay for it but thank you anyway