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This is no joke man, it strips your peace of mind and slowly tortures you. You know its not you but the thoughts cant stop. I try to keep a positive mind but its hard. But i know there is light ahead. Stay focused brothers.

This type of OCD is horrible. It makes you question everything even if you have lived most of your life as a herterosexual/homosexual man or woman and produces doubt that you were living a lie. However, this type does respond to CBT and ERP, there is hope for anyone suffering this type of Pure-O OCD.

It is nice to see others are dealing with the same stress. Heads up everyone we will be okay, i have dealt with this for a couple years and just now found out this is my issue. There is light at the end of the tunnel for all of us, we just want to return back to the lives we previously lived and that is normal to want to feel. Blessings to all.

Mental health is no joke…keep moving forward…

Had HOCD for about 10 years. From 15/25 years old. Now 38, it gets better men. Speak up, seek help. It gets easier

I never thought about it that we, it literally blew my mind. Great vid (Y). Cheers!

i can’t even tell what thoughts are mine anymore

Man thank you so much dealing with this right now this helping me calm down

Matt, I just wanted to say thank you. I recently found out that I'm struggling with this exact thing and you described my situation perfectly. I'm happily married to my wife and have a son and they mean the world to me. I love them both so much. My OCD has taken over every corner of my mind and honestly, tonight as I type this, I'm really struggling. Thank you for giving me hope. Because I honestly didn't think I could go on. All I want more than anything in the world is for this to go away. I'm seeing a therapist and I'm just barely starting the treatment process. The exposure response prevention thing terrifies me but I'm going to give it a try. Some days I feel like there's no way out of this. So please pray for me and everyone else on here.

Going through all the chaos I have in life with my father, my constant medical and mental health appointments, losing my grandparents, and going through Cancer treatments, (last round of treatment is next month, and I'm expected to make a full recovery with no long-term effects) with all this happening within a twelve-month period has left me with a lot of psychological trauma, and I have been enduring a lot of intrusive thoughts regarding self-harm and homosexuality, so I appreciate you making this video. I know I'm straight, and I find women attractive, and I've never shown any interest in harming myself, or being interested in other men, or people who are bi or trans, even though I support their rights. These thoughts make me incredibly uncomfortable, both physically and mentally.

Thank you so much, damn you hit te right spot with your words I’ve been living with it for 4 years and it’s been exhausting and horrible, everyday is a nightmare and I can’t have a very good connection with my girls, I haven’t been in a relationship for a long time but when this horrible form of ocd hit me, it was more awful, I thought that what I felt for women was a lie, and no, I’m straight and I always loved women and will always do But damn, than you so much for your words, I have to work with the compulsions and conducts you described because it’s a loop, like a nightmare loop Thank you, I’m really grateful, I was having an anxiety attack about my thoughts and now I’m relaxed

My brother you hit the spot been dealing with hocd since middle school been through a lot of ups and downs but I recognized I have an issue . Would love to work with you

You are just an angel like i feel i am the weirdest human on earth thank you for calming me down

⁠don’t ignore it what helped me was analyzing my thoughts and realizing it’s just like any thought what happens is u attached emotion to the thought and now u fear it just remember they are your thoughts and their crazy but your thoughts don’t define u your actions do if I think about killing someone all the time that doesn’t make me a killer if I think ima nba player that doesn’t make me 1 now still keep in mind if your gay your gay but if you have these symptoms this is what I did and they go away slowly but surely everytime the thought pops in your head don’t shy away embrace it and realize it’s just a thought

What’s worries me and confuses me to the core is that this starts to feel like it’s something else rather then hocd/so-ocd Despite that these thoughts and images feelings are unwanted. it truly feels like I’m being “pulled” into living a lifestyle that is not designed for me and don’t want to live. I can’t tell if this is ocd or literally spiritual attack.. I’m lost and I just feel like who I am who I’ve known myself to be for 27 years is not there anymore.. I’m really loosing myself to this. It all feels to real.. and I know ocd suffers say that’s although I was diagnosed with this.. it truly feels to real constantly battling between if this is ocd or am I going through sexual identity crisis. I’m lost. I’m in an emotional rollercoaster everyday. I just downloaded the copy of your book, look forward to reading that.

I had finally forgotten about this fear, but it came back after my friend came out to me and now im a teenager and no longer a child and this hit harder than the first time this fear came because as a teenage girl, everybody and anything in improved woth hormones, and i sqw your vid ans i feel relieved better now even though i know tge fear will come bqck later

This is really helpful, clear and concise information. Thank you Matt.

In HOCD you don't have erection when you are having unwanted thoughts. When you are really attracted to a girl, you have erection (at most of the time)

Thank you. You are angel to me. Because I first suffer from this Transgender people's and after 1 month I suffer from this HOCD and whenever I was suffering from HOCD, I'm also suffering from hemoroid and to many negative energy are in my head. In that time I even think about sucide if I turn into this and think there's only me in this world to think like this. After this video, It heals amd I know my problem. But I don't know how to overcome this but I will overcome this.🔥

Thanks this video really helped

I have this for many years it has turned into tinnitus and visual snow for me with persistent headaches after anxiety attack I still want to treat it...

The thoughts i can ignore but the feelings that come with them feel so real and i just get sad as hell.

I'm gay and I have these troubling thoughts about vaginas. The image pops into my head intrusively at just the wrong moment. I realise this isn’t my real self, but it introduces doubt, confusion and anxiety into my life. What can I do about this HOCD, Heterosexual OCD? How do I break free of this unhealthy compulsion? It is ruining my life.

The word is distinguishing not distincting. Good luck with everything.

What if I know I'm gay but my ODC runs more like thoughts of "I'm going to hell", or "a demon will manifest today". I get this irrational fear I notice when my mental is weak. I start to think that I'm going to die that day. When i was younger i had little tics that my family used to call out. I'd control them but they would always turn into another tic. Ive controlled them all, now the only visible tic I have is excessive blinking. Back then it was this weird neck roll thing I did. I also used to count to 5 in a pattern. Like this-> :•: and the five goes in the middle. I still do this one from time to time and no one would know because it's in my head. I've done some really embarrassing things when I've had episodes. The last time it was induced by LSD and I ran out of my house paranoid in socks and hardly anything on in the middle of winter. I thought I was going to be taken by the devil for coming out the closet and that my boyfriend was possessed. When i was young i hated gays. I'm pretty sure I was taught to hate myself for this and it caused a mental break. I'm depressed and anxious all the time. Before the LSD I had an episode that came from separation anxiety when I moved out for the first time. No drugs to blame it on this time. I had an episode and with it came a feeling that God wouldn't forgive me unless I shaved my head bald and I did. I feel like I'm losing it. Help?!

There are lucky people here in your comment section from what i read considering the fact that my case far worse than theirs. I reached a level where i actually find pleasure in looking at handsome men and even have fun getting attracted to nice guys, even tho i'm aware and don't like that feeling cuz of the trauma i experienced back in puberty and even my childhood. People used to look at me and i don't know why's that, until they started getting aggressive, to the point where i started speculating and saying that they're acting or some kind of sh*t. It was hard to believe and i was always crying at night due to the rejection by the society, i didn't know what was the problem back than which made it even worse for me. With the help of God i was able to find the answer this holy night and i thank god with all my heart and i will start praying inshaallah from now on till i die. Please reply to me, i still want some guidance. Edit : i discovered that i had very low testosterone levels, probably 45 to 75 ng/dl, and thus i began feeling wierd shit all the time, i always read what i wrote and it completely contradicts what having hocd means. I will visit a doctor soon so i can begin my treatment.

I couldn't watch TV or Netflix movies i even limited my self going to the mall im always in my room these thoughts are very scary but we will overcome trust me

Sucks because I don't know what my true desires are so I can't say whether or not whatever thoughts I have are in line with my ego. I have a lot of experiences that just don't help (and some that do), evidence-wise but nothing is ever conclusive. I also wonder if I just burned out my attraction to women with porn.

Thank you so much, I was so scared,cause I don't wanna be homo, I love women, thank you so much

"Turn straight" - a paradox.

Ik im straight, but my mind have been bothering me lately, I never was thinking like this this before and really want it to stop

I hate this it makes me feel awful feel tired depressed even suicidal I was fine a week ago I like girl I remember being heartbroken by them never once felt attraction to any of my guy friends but have these gay thought and it’s just been eating my entire life now my grades are slipping I can’t sleep and I don’t want to tell my parents because then probably will think I am gay but just in denial

Timothy 1:7 - For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. This is all anxiety this is not you anxiety gives you fear to something you are not in real danger of you’re not alone God has you all the way through this believe that he will deliver you from this that he has the authority to make it all the way do not give up you’re not attracted to men you are simply looking at them thinking they pose danger to you thus why it seems you’re “checking them out” think about it you get anxiety over a good looking guy because you feel danger when you get the thought that he’s good looking you will be okay believe that Jesus can cure you from this situation the Holy Spirit is writhin us to bring us closer to God he is our comfort trust God and let go stop caring about the thoughts.

First time to hear this ocd type and I was wandering if I will ever date a woman or marry one if I think I'm gay.

I have to stop thinking I understand

Where are the links?

I notice women when they are pretty and I am not attracted to every man I see. Do I have this but opposite? No, I am gay. I also have OCD. I can tell you when a vagina looks nice or boobs but that doesn't make me straight and set me down a path of questioning my sexuality. I am just so tired as a gay man always being thrown in some negative light and now there are a group of men who see a man with nice hair and go down a negative gay rabbit hole? That's how gay men get killed or bashed. You question something small, blow it up, and take it out on us when it's you that has the problem.

I don't know what you call it but I have a different problem Whenever I look at a guy that workouts more than me i feel that he will replace me or if he is more attractive for example i feel that He will take the girl that I want and I won't get any girls maybe it's from porn because I don't get to have a physical connection with the women just a superficial one

can hotd change my sexuality? Because I had everything the man said about 2 weeks ago. Now I feel like I'm in love with only 2 people. I feel like butterflies. I've lost my false attraction to the others.

Hey here I am dying because of hocd I am 18 years old since past year I have other type of OCD but now I am obsessed with that I can't find difference between male and female butt and i am obsessed with male butt rather i am not attracted sexually and romantically am i bi or gay or hocd can anyone plz tell me 😭am i. dying every day

There needs to be a scale upon which every homosexual can be positioned (according to minority stress). At the extremes you would have straight acting gays from liberal areas, and at the opposite end you would have obviously-gay males from backward places, or places where homosexuality is seriously criminalized. When you meet a gay person you could ask them: Where on the 100 point scale are you positioned? If they say 5 then you know that they are not obviously gay and from a liberal area. If they say 95 then you would know that they come from Iran. A lot of the misunderstandings between gay people comes from not understanding their levels of damage... The scale position would have to be modified according to the stresses that an individual has been subject to (like sexual abuse, poverty, disability etc.). When I was younger I went to parties and there were so many different people. You would get a couple who went to New York to buy a pair of socks, whose parents were professionals who helped them get along in the world, and then out somewhere you would meet a poor student from a backward country mill town worrying if they were going to be able to continue getting welfare so that they can continue their studies. Gay people would come out and go out into the world thinking that everybody would be just like them, but there were major differences.

Can this be caused due to childhood trauma to

I need someone to talk to it got so bad

This the one of the times I am happy of having my careless ADHD mindset that helps me not to fixate on things. I prefer women, but if someone called me gay, I am like "Whatever, bruh" ADHD is probably opposite of OCD?

Do you offer therapy?

I want to die this cost me my gf when I’ve never doubted myself before

I feel like ive had hocd for years but now im starting to feel like i am, i wasnt like this years ago, ive lost attraction to women for so long now, feel like ive got aroused to male body in porn instead when i never focused on it, i look at youtube vids of good looking men to check if its actually attraction, idk im nearly 27 and struggle everyday with thoughts, i just think i have to give in, straight porn has got boring, the male gential has somehow become attractive looking when i never blinked an eye before, sorry for the explicit info, i dont know if i feel anxiety over it anymore, i wish i could go back to the past, maybe im just saying its hocd because im in denial, heck i dont even care anymore

0:45

LoVe is NeVer Wrong imbrace ur Natural Self Love is Not Selfish Pleasure is just endorphins

Leave San Francisco.

Matt - would you try giving the exact same talk on HOCD where the H stand for heterosexual? It would come across as very funny... even ridiculous. I have never heard of either a male or female having an OCD around having heterosexual thoughts! Why?... because nobody considers heterosexuality to be a negative thing. We are all here because our parents behaved in a heterosexual manner. So how could there be anything wrong with it? Nobody, since the beginning of time, has disparaged heterosexuality... so no OCD around it! Homosexuality, and bi-sexuality, are quite different. Religion has abused such people for millennia and the instinct to deny these orientations can be very strong in young people who do not want to feel rejected or judged by their peers or family. This fear can cause an OCD as the young person (even older person) tries desperately to kill the thoughts, which, if acted upon, would see them rejected by those whose support they need... or rather 'think' they need. Some of the people you are talking about could actually be bi-sexual, and if given support could live a full life with the ability to love either a male or a female, without being made to think that they must choose between the two... that one orientation must be an imposter.

Can you still have HOCD even though you've had sex and enjoyed it?

Why don't you guys just meet a guy you're attracted to, that you trust and give it a try? Then you'll know one way or the other. You don't like it, no harm done.

You know you can’t beat it. You know you can’t stop it. You need to surrender.