How to Recognize Hijackals®. Their Patterns, Traits & Cycles

Рет қаралды 10,070

Dr. Rhoberta Shaler - Help for Toxic Relationships

Күн бұрын

You need to know how to recognize a Hijackal®! If not, you'll try to be compassionate, nurturing, nice, patient, and long-suffering in the hopes that they will change. They won't. Learn why today and save your sanity!
HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:
- Why "overgiving" to a Hijackal is a really bad idea
- Why difficult people can't see what they're doing, even when you point it out
- Why Hijackals have such a need for power and control
- Dr. Shaler's definition of her term, Hijackals®: "People who hijack relationships--for their own purposes--while relentlessly scavenging them for power, status, and control." Know one now?
HIJACKALS®! They exist! You've likely met one or two. Most everyone has.
There is no real need for a diagnosis. The Hijackal will not subject him or herself to one, anyway. After all, s/he is perfect, right?
All you really need to have is the ability to clearly see the patterns, traits, and cycles of these relentlessly difficult people, and know what to do to not become their prey! They are emotional predators.
I created and trademarked this term, #Hijackals, to give you a way to easily talk about the patterns, traits, and cycles of the relentlessly difficult people in your life, and in a non-clinical way. After all, what you need is to know what to do when you're in a relationship with one, right? That begins with clearly being able to identify a toxic person's behaviors, and know that there are those patterns. That's helpful!
Hijackals like to push you away. They do their upmost to push your buttons...or, at least, it sure feels that way. You might be surprised to learn today that they are really doing that for other reasons than driving you to drink!
Not only do they like to shove you away, but they also then make you wrong for going, and then demand that you stay. Crazy-making!
That's why today's episode is so important to clearly seeing what's really going on!
I hope this help you see that more clearly. If you need help with this, I'm here for you.
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* * Remember, narcissists and other toxic people come in all genders and ages * *
and toxic relationships can be at home, at work, at play... with your parent, boss, spouse, sibling, friend, co-worker.
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I am Dr. Rhoberta Shaler, The Relationship Help Doctor.
Are you in relationship with a Hijackal? That's someone who consistently puts you down, love-bombs and gaslights you, creates confusion and chaos, and causes you to second-guess yourself? I can help you recognize, understand, and make decisions about those kinds of narcissistic behavior…and especially, how to keep yourself (and your children) safe and sane.
No worries about where in the world you live. I work through private, secure video conferencing. So, we can certainly work together to figure a few things out.
CONNECT WITH ME:
Website: www.ForRelationshipHelp.com
Facebook: / relationshiphelpdoctor
Twitter: @RhobertaShaler
LinkedIn: / rhobertashaler
Instagram: @DrRhobertaShaler
KZfaq: / forrelationshiphelp
Get my free ebook at www.Hijackals.com
Take my free checklists: www.forrelationshiphelp.com/c...
Are you looking for relief from the pain, confusion and drama of toxic relationships? I can help.
You can reclaim your personal power. Keep watching my videos on KZfaq to find strategies for changing your relationship dynamics.. When you're ready, let's talk.
You can take advantage of my one-time. new client introductory Consultation here (only $97 for a full hour)
www.ForRelationshipHelp.com/join
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This content has been created and recorded for the general interest and information of the viewer/listener. Nothing said or implied on this site should be taken, or construed in any way, as legal advice, or personal advice of any kind. It is entirely informational, offering readers, viewers, subscribers, followers, and members educational resources, anecdotes, case studies, and stories.
Optimize Life Now LLC & Rhoberta Shaler, PhD makes no representations about the suitability of the content of this site for any purpose. All content is provided “as is” without any warranty of any kind.

Пікірлер: 39

@karenwhitney4826 Жыл бұрын

Mine says they don't remember what they did or said.

@dawnemile7499 3 жыл бұрын

I'm glad you brought out the impact of biology. That it is a mating haze and not a higher connection such as a soul mate that is drawing you together. I have never let go of commonsense and trusted anyone. My father was too much of a hijackal for me to do this.

@ForRelationshipHelp 3 жыл бұрын

I'm sorry that you had a Hijackal father. That does change so much. It's good, though, that you recognized the impact. You can trust people, though, once you recover from a Hijackal. The good news is that, after recognizing Hijackal traits, you'll notice them in new relationships much more quickly.

@rpm3305 2 жыл бұрын

"Believe me, it got worst!" the behavior of the hijackal does not get better. Ever! Do not give to a black hole. I have tried giving all I have and it is not enough. Why do the hijackals blame you for their happiness and success. Find someone who is on your same wavelength.

@melodysanquist4834 2 ай бұрын

Wow! That intro was what I heard, word for word!

@joannasaadati8810 3 жыл бұрын

Your definition answered my question about why my mother in law gives us the silent treatment for 7 months and then demands we come over, over and over 🤣🤣 thank you Dr. Shaler 🙏 So much helpful content.

@ForRelationshipHelp 3 жыл бұрын

You're so welcome!

@sierrataylor3163 2 жыл бұрын

I found this info very helpful as well as surprising.

@BJ-fj6jw Жыл бұрын

10:33 ....they had to have these behaviors in order to survive when they were young. And they're still using them." That was a light bulb moment. Thank you dear doctor.

@lauraminnis4467 Жыл бұрын

I am with a hijackal we have two children together and part of it is my fault because I come from an abusive family and I thought I could fix him he came from an abusive first marriage and my need is always to help people and I thought I could love him enough to fix him but all I ever find is that I am blamed for everything and I’m worried that this is going to rub off on our children and make them high jackals I just need the tools to navigate my life with him and to deal with his behaviors so that it doesn’t destroy me in the process

@LifeGetsMossySomethymes 3 жыл бұрын

Thank you for this. It is hard to hear, but you have my attention.

@ForRelationshipHelp 3 жыл бұрын

You're welcome. I hope you'll watch other videos and listen to my Save Your Sanity podcast. SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

@zzulm Жыл бұрын

The person that said "give until it hurts" was obsessed with pain and left people to die without medical treatment, it's sad that the people that donated money to mother Teresa thought that it was going to help the sick when in reality the money went to the catholic church and she never built a hospital.

@RiceEater124 3 жыл бұрын

thank you for this

@ForRelationshipHelp 3 жыл бұрын

You're very welcome!

@billysaunders6155 3 жыл бұрын

Wow Mother Nature 🙈 helped mess my life up 😂 made me feel less stupid. Thanks for the insight And so true. X

@ForRelationshipHelp 3 жыл бұрын

You are so welcome

@naida6958 3 жыл бұрын

The more you pour and pour the more the abuse gets

@ForRelationshipHelp 3 жыл бұрын

Sadly, true! Hijackals love people who over-give because one of their favorite sports is over-taking and demanding more.

@imaginepeace7588 2 ай бұрын

I wish you were still here 💔💔💔😢😢😢☮️

@terrytarostead 4 жыл бұрын

No, I'm sorry I believe some know. But I'll keep listening..never know.

@thewaldronproject 3 жыл бұрын

Good content

@ForRelationshipHelp 3 жыл бұрын

Thank you. I'm glad you found it helpful.

@violetbarker8230 3 жыл бұрын

I am pretty sure my SO is a hijackal. We just scheduled marriage therapy, do you think that Hijackals can seek help and unlearn their tendencies? I love him so much (when he is affectionate and not hurtful) and don’t want to lose my stepdaughter also in the process.

@ForRelationshipHelp 3 жыл бұрын

If he is really a Hijackal, he will endeavor to seduce and manipulate the therapist to join him in further making things your fault. If he has some behaviors that are "Hijackal-like" and he truly wants to be free of them, you'll soon see. As a general rule, real Hijackals don't love you, they use you. Be careful not to confuse the two, or think that your loving him will change him. OK?

@naida6958 3 жыл бұрын

Are borderlines personality disorder have passive aggressive tendencies ? And do Passive aggressive ppl cheat ?

@ForRelationshipHelp 3 жыл бұрын

Yes, borderline personality disordered people have passive-aggressive tendencies. Most #Hijackals do. Whether or not passive-aggressive people cheat is a very individual situation in my experience. Often, passive-aggressive people are too lazy to cheat. One thing, for sure: if they do cheat, they will lie about it because they are conflict-adverse.

@angelamossucco2190 Жыл бұрын

❤

@tarahighlands2540 11 ай бұрын

Is this the case with a mother in law

@naida6958 3 жыл бұрын

Do they get worse as they age ?

@ForRelationshipHelp 3 жыл бұрын

Recent research suggests that they may get a little less entitled in their forties, but nothing usually changes with their levels of empathy. Outside of research, my experience tells me that their behaviors get more entrenched, and their demands get more abrasive.

@rpm3305 2 жыл бұрын

And their behavior spreads to other. The entitlement grows with age. The blame grows with age. If they are 40, is change really possible.