Hi! I hope it will clarify things for you and you'll use that information to realize it had nothing to do with who you actually are, and everything to do with who the Hijackals are.

Pa​@@ForRelationshipHelp

Yes, it is so sad...and frustrating, infuriating, depressing, and endlessly tiring, too.

You are so welcome. Please see his Silent Treatment as a peaceful time where you are unbothered by his silence. I know that can be difficult as you may be trauma-bonded and plead for him to talk with you. If you can enjoy the silence and refuse to beg him to talk with you, it will be healthier!

I'm glad you found my channel, too! I hope you stick with the "pulling away" strategy and leave them far behind. It's difficult, and it is a great move to save your sanity and health. They take up too much mental and emotional space in our heads otherwise.

@@ForRelationshipHelp Wow! I didn't expect a reply. Well, my mother died in Sept, and a couple of the sibs are legally 'in charge' and pulling rank. I'm third in line to be exdcutor (despite being primary caregiver), so I have to keep the line open until we find out who has authority over mum's debts. Anyway, thanks for your work. I'm considering a one-on-one, just have to plan it out.

I'm happy to hear that you find the videos helpful. You're so welcome!

That's sad and difficult. I hope you can create distance from your brothers and mother, if not physically then, at least, emotionally.

I’m in the same boat. It got so much worse after my dad died. When I warned (stupidly) my mother that I needed the abuse to stop and my medical needs addressed or I would be forced to go to the authorities for help (which, in 2021, was NOT going to be the cops, ffs), she made a preemptive strike (or got someone to report me for her, idk which, and I’ll never know) and I GOT IN TROUBLE. I couldn’t even leave the house to get help for myself - no driver’s license because I didn’t jump out of bed on my birthday two years ago when she woke me up yelling at me like a rabid drill sergeant to go now or forget it. I could barely even take a shower and dress myself 2 years ago. I was told by state protective services I could not have an angry tone with my 82 year old mother. Honestly, I’m still confused on that point. It doesn’t matter that I’m half deaf and part of the “tone” was me trying to freaking hear myself. It doesn’t matter that I’m practically disabled and in terrible chronic pain and adrenal exhaustion every day of my life for decades. It doesn’t matter that my mother was perfectly happy with me lying in agony and exhaustion in bed for 3 1/2 years with no medical intervention. It doesn’t matter that, beyond all expectation, I managed to get out of my death bed last year and drag my body back into a semblance of health. It doesn’t matter that I started my art and music back and am building a business to try and support myself. Self esteem, confidence, happiness, joy, peace, purpose, security, re-engaging with the world … 👈 All of which really ramped up the abuse and sabotage, btw. It doesn’t matter that I have Aspergers and truly didn’t understand stupid people games and didn’t get the manipulations. It just drove me bat sh!t crazy and made me sick and I got red flagged and labeled and pathologized and over medicated. They just go for the low hanging fruit and easy prey - I’ll forever be the one with the problem since I couldn’t hide it like they can. It doesn’t matter any of my difficulties arising from my family’s abuses, I just still have to be the scapegoat and they want me to take the blame and shame and accountability and further modify myself for everyone else’s benefit while they get to continue being pure jerks to me. And she’s been yelling and screaming at me and abusing and manipulating and sabotaging me my whole life, and continues to do so in the worst ways. And as the scapegoat, I’ve been trained my whole life to never even be able to see my side of the story so I could never defend myself. I finally find out what this abuse is, why I’ve been NUTS and so beaten down my whole life, and because she’s reached a certain age she still can’t be held accountable or talked to in a certain way, although she does it to me. Who was there for me when I was a very young age? Nobody. Nobody could be. She had it sewn up and under control and I knew better than to ask for any outsider’s help. I ran away for the first time at 4 - they just sent me home. I still can’t get any real help. It’s a fkn JOKE. Our parents had free reign to hit us, yell at us, completely shut us down and break us and that was the status quo … then they changed the rules on the same generation and we lose AGAIN. They win. Now I just can’t speak to her at all. The government agent’s opinion on “verbal abuse” (which she admitted was based solely on my TONE) scared me into the very silence I used to employ as a terrified child to stay “safe.” I have to run from the room when she tries to engage me. And worry that that’s somehow neglectful of her great age and needs. And wait wait wait for the government’s verdict on my angry tone. I’m working very hard to get away - still not well, need expensive, ongoing medical care, no income, zero allies, having to figure out all the logistics of the terribly confusing world of regulations and rules and laws and red tape and show me your papers and do it all with zero help after decades of being isolated and utterly alone. With God’s help I can do it. Btw, I think it’s NUTS to not have a slightly angry tone when you’re angry. That’s what THE COVERT ABUSERS DO. Especially when you’re only using what your abysmal parents gave you and taught you to use. It’s beyond me how some people who should be able to see and understand are SO CLUELESS. And they get paid to be very very ignorant and very very powerful at the same time.

It's difficult, I know. I look forward to talking with you soon. www.BeAClient.com

Yes, it is! And, unfortunately, it happens too frequently. Children don't have the brain development or life experience to discern what's happening in most cases. And, older teens and adult children have been raised with it. So sad, disappointing, and difficult.

@@ForRelationshipHelp HI, when I try and access the website it says safari can't find the page. :(

Hi! I'm glad to hear that you're gaining clarity and learning more about how #Hijackals operate. It's nasty, for sure! I wish you well. Rhoberta

Forgiveness is one thing. Curbing the behaviors is the real deal.

I'm sorry to hear that you're having these troubling difficulties. I'm sure it is exhausting. People with Hijackal tendencies do like to set up others and then degrade or make fun of them. You might find listening to this podcast episode of mine eye-opening or affirming: kzfaq.info/get/bejne/jsucatGBr8uncYk.html I wish you well.

Usually, because it is convenient for them, they have Hijackal tendencies themselves, or they are under the power and manipulation of a lying Hijackal. Any chance one of those options is what's going on in your situation?

@@ForRelationshipHelp it sounds alot like my parents believing my sister who's a pathological lier and will bend over backwards for her.

@@ForRelationshipHelp my father said she is very honest but I know she lies out her teeth like one night she tried saying my clothes basket was hers and I said this is my clothes basket

@@ForRelationshipHelp how do you correct this behavior. My mom's even has told me I'm too far away but will go to my sister who lies in the blink of an eye. And she's 100 miles away

Hi Roberta u help so many. Ppl I'm. Cindy my sister's n friends n ex's did to me I'm strong like a. Lion. Bring it on. Power

Liars lie to be right, to change the unconvenient narratives, to confuse, to create chaos, because they can, and in the case of pathological liars, because that's who they are. If the truthful member of your family believes the liar, that's a big issue. Hold your ground, state your truth in factual terms, and give the lie no power. I wish you well with that. It's difficult, I know.

@@ForRelationshipHelp that is my sister for you. She's even told my dad I was taking him to court and he got mad at me. I told him what are you talking about I'm not taking you to court

So in that case should I just block my sister out of my life

Thank you I've tried standing my ground but I've even caught my parents in lies. Like my dad saying she's very truthful

Hi! The only hope is to figure out your exact situation. Every #Hijackal is a little different, as is every family. Loving them makes it more difficult to see them clearly and recognize the need to change. Hijackals seldom change, except for a hot minute when they think you're going to leave them. They "hoover" and "love-bomb" to make you think they care and are changing. As soon as they feel secure again, they drop the act and behave as their bad selves again.