How to Set Physical Boundaries (When Dating)

Рет қаралды 28,486

2 жыл бұрын

When dating as a Catholic, how can you set up physical boundaries in your relationship? How do you make sure you're on the same page about chastity and boundaries in the first place? And most importantly, how do you ensure that your hearts in the right place when it comes to boundaries? In this video, Christopher West and Elizabeth Busby get into the nitty gritties of all these questions!
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Пікірлер: 76

@Beanie1879 6 ай бұрын

I absolutely love how Elizabeth said the Church is a loving Mother that doesnt want you to get hurt. I felt that.

@TheologyoftheBodyInstitute 6 ай бұрын

Amen! Thank you for sharing.

@jellojenna6 2 жыл бұрын

"Premarital interdigitation!" 🤣 I need to remember never to treat another person as a means to an end, even a good end. Would those who read this comment please pray for me? :)

@Gray_Jay 9 ай бұрын

Lord, please help jenna to remember this information and take it to heart. Help her to apply it and treat people as valuable image bearers of a holy God and not just means to an end.

@nellyblancaflor5559 2 жыл бұрын

I wish I had these information when I was dating but at age 74, my husband (bless his soul) and I came out ok. He was my first love and I was his first love. We enjoyed and suffered the ups and downs of married life for 45 yrs.

@ez-g3090 8 ай бұрын

That's why men need to stay single. Wen are nothing but problems. Including you.

@meltingpopsicle5842 3 ай бұрын

I know of a Lutheran pastor who suggests not even holding hands before marriage. His idea is that any form of physical contact between a couple is the beginning of the process of their flesh becoming one and as a result will cause greater emotional attachment, so if the relationship breaks up there will be greater heartache than there would have been if they had not touched each other.

@lolar6085 3 ай бұрын

I read the same from a rabbi book - Manis Friedman "Doesn't anyone blush anymore? " In my experience this is so true.

@ellamanuella8038 2 ай бұрын

Wow...as a Christian I can confirm i This is toxic

@emberdrops3892 Жыл бұрын

I think you two are a great duo :D Christopher goes on these crazy deep tangents about what God has designed love to be, while Elizabeth channels these concepts into actual scenarios for us to apply.

@joshuacapstick5322 2 жыл бұрын

This is a way I would like to love someone if and when I get the chance still waiting on you Lord!! 🙏🙏

@BeingArtful 22 күн бұрын

Great discussion. Christopher West is one of my favorite human beings. He's so articulate, funny, and transmits theology of the body into perfect language.

@TheologyoftheBodyInstitute 21 күн бұрын

Thank you for watching! Please consider joining at one of our weeklong courses in PA, we'd love to meet you in person. tobinstitute.org/programs/tobi-schedule/

@thelayprayloslaicosoran6390 2 жыл бұрын

The intention. The intension. Ty Jesus. U don't judge judgementally

@saturdaysolitude7800 2 жыл бұрын

One way to set physical boundaries is by making sure the person you're courting lives in another country :P

@maryrankin9869 2 жыл бұрын

LOL

@anezkaburesova7855 2 жыл бұрын

Haha Me and my (for few months yet only civil marriage) husband! 😆 It is actually so true! We were writing for 3 years and 7 months (living in different continents), then dated in person for 2,5 months and got engaged. And now we have to fight so so SO hard to wait till marriage (the one at the church). Being far made it safe... 😆👌

@ThatCatholicNurse Жыл бұрын

😂😂😂😂😂😂

@etcwhatever Жыл бұрын

Good point...but some men will still try to talk dirty on a distance...and then a seemingly normal and good guy needs to be blocked and forgotten 😂😂

@Jan-A Жыл бұрын

The problem with the Distance thing is that it's artificial & not likely to work once that distance no longer exists or a weak party might eventually end up in a relationship with someone who is accessible.

@kerwinfernandes9583 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you both! It was so deep. God bless! :)

@JoAnneMbonigaba 4 ай бұрын

Really love this video that asks each of us to look at the position of our heart in the action. Thank you!

@LainaTayler Жыл бұрын

Thank you so much for everything you do!!

@humberto4344 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you, deeply needed!

@r.j.whitaker 2 жыл бұрын

So good and so necessary.

@thelayprayloslaicosoran6390 2 жыл бұрын

Sacred, that word is powerful

@maryrankin9869 2 жыл бұрын

oh my goodness. Loved it. My youngest just is starting to date. Great insight.

@danielarodriguezminsky9643 2 жыл бұрын

This is so beautiful 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺thank you so much!!!

@carmenfreeman693 3 ай бұрын

Excellent post. Thank you. 🙏

@donna713 Жыл бұрын

I’m so glad I found this channel! Our society needs so much support on this subject! Thank you!

@KennyMNgoie-xl2iz 9 ай бұрын

saammmmmmme!!!!!!

@ez-g3090 8 ай бұрын

What this society needs is to get rid of modern feminism. It's such a lie and is ruining our young women.

@user-vj9qz3br6l 11 ай бұрын

I haven’t watched the whole video yet, but is there a video on what the boundaries should be? I’m confused on what begins to be too far

@ignaciop9850 Жыл бұрын

Come on man!! Let the girl talk. Both stances are interesting. God bless.

@monikaswiniarska2263 2 жыл бұрын

Dear Dr. Christopher West, I admire your wide knowledge about theology of the body and the eagerness you share it with the world. I learn a lot-thank you! Nevertheless, I feel overwhelmed, exasperated, and disappointed when you invite a guest (like here; I recall also another one with Jason Clark) and you don’t give a space for them to talk and to share their minds. I would love to hear what Elisabeth has to say but you don’t give her a chance. At the end of this 16-minute talk of yours I find actually no answer to the question posed in the title… Please, talk less and let your guests talk more 🙏 I would appreciate it a lot. Thank you!

@davelaz5582 Жыл бұрын

I did my best to be a faithful Catholic man. I was a virgin when married at age 30 as was my late wife. We married at age 30 and had two sons. My wife died 9 years ago on January 14, 2014. After experiencing the loss of a spouse, I can't encourage anyone to marry because it will eventually end in death. Looking back, I would have rather never married, never had sex, never had children and never experienced the loss of spouse through death. All the happiness of my 26 years of marriage does not outweigh the pains of the loss of spouse through death.

@raiyan.j6693 Жыл бұрын

Awww...Bless you. She must really meant alot to you. That shows how much love you have towards her. Bless you for that. You will reunite with her in the hereafter for sure. Bless her soul too. 💕 Stay Strong. 💪🏽

@etcwhatever Жыл бұрын

I cant understand how much pain you feel. All i can tell you is you wouldnt have experience the happy moments with your wife, if you never met her. Second point is your sons wouldnt have been born. Honestly it sounds like the loss is still too fresh. Dont deny your emotions and seek support of your close friends and family. I wish that God eases your sorrow.

@ez-g3090 8 ай бұрын

@@etcwhatever he is right. Why go through hell with a nagging wife and waste the best years of your life?

@etcwhatever 8 ай бұрын

@@ez-g3090 you to read his words attentively. You understood nothing.

@gmirelys7898 2 ай бұрын

@@ez-g3090you understood nothing.

@Tomorrowandtomorrowandtomorrow 11 ай бұрын

shomer negiah in orthodox judaism is no touching until marriage. works pretty well for them :)

@angelicapinto3837 Жыл бұрын

I have a question, how long is too long to date, when dating overseas ?

@amhresendiz 3 ай бұрын

What is the name of the book the Q&A he mentioned. First time watching a video so Im interested in expanding my library. Thank you!

@TheologyoftheBodyInstitute 3 ай бұрын

Thank you for watching! It's Christopher's "Good News About Sex & Marriage" You can find it here: shop.corproject.com/products/good-news-about-sex-and-marriage but we also have this free playlist where he walks you through the book: kzfaq.info/sun/PLAbqXQaOvkM4Q01szl54g7Sj9mJ8bfKf0&si=zZG7qYfniz9J_KKB

@YovanypadillaJr 2 жыл бұрын

Funny because I actually saw tweets saying holding hands is not condoned by St Alphonsus.

@coolkidvt01 2 жыл бұрын

I think you should put some parameters such as Age/ culture. Setting boundaries in 20s is very different than setting them in 30s or 40s. No one deep in their faith goes about wanting to treat the other as a means to an end... but when you are single for so long it's very different scenario. We can't have a generic answer without some context.

@ez-g3090 8 ай бұрын

Women in their 30-40's are too old for marriage. They become a nanny or something like that. No man I'm his right mind would settle for and age women. The best thing a woman can give a man is her youth.

@Iamawesomelovedandblessed444 6 ай бұрын

I'd rather be on my own than be with someone just to be with someone what a waste of life 😂

@jowaovieira 11 ай бұрын

So pretty much almost every marriage we have today, Christian and non christian is a USE-ME I-USE-YOU? 😅 unless true conversion of the heart? Wow

@ez-g3090 8 ай бұрын

Yeah don't get married. Women want providers not lovers. Don't be fooled by these so call Christian women. They usually end up being the worst ones.

@thefacelessquestion3333 3 ай бұрын

As a means to an end. A happy end(ing)?😂😂

@thelayprayloslaicosoran6390 2 жыл бұрын

The person. Yup God is definately married to His church

@claytonshankle4427 9 ай бұрын

A suggestion, stop pointing to ur physical heart when referring to where u make ur life decisions, the decisions are made in the mind(brain) and the Hebrew word for heart means the brain.

@Lauradahl-creations 6 ай бұрын

I disagree with Christopher west on that only "crazy" people think you shouldn't hold hands. Some people who were sexually molested when younger and so, just holding hands can be a huge turn on...... But I think that for them what would help to heal is prayer, growing into a loving relationship with God and body mortification. 🙏

@syedhasanahmed3514 Жыл бұрын

5:20 st jerome, contra jovinianus (and any other 1st mill. commentator on 1 cor 7:1) - 'crazy person' augustine, soliloquies - 'crazy person' st thomas, commentary on 1 cor 7:1 - 'crazy person' Lessius, the salamancans, st antoninus, sylvius, filliuci, sanchez, Viva, Moya, Corella, Palaus, Lopez, Cajetan, Bonacina, the continuator of Tournely, Croix, Diana, Trullenchus, Roncaglia, Sporer, Holzmann - all 'crazy persons' Cornelius a Lapide, on 1 cor 7 - 'crazy person' st alphonsus liguori, theologia moralis - 'crazy person' billuart - 'crazy person' bp j-b bouvier - 'crazy person' j-b vittrant - 'crazy person' thomas slater sj - 'crazy person' john ambrose mchugh - 'crazy person'

@aabc8141 Жыл бұрын

This whole “no sex before marriage” thing is the reason why I lost a number of guys in my youth. I believed in it whole heartedly back then and it messed with my head and with my life.

@israeliana Жыл бұрын

Youre not losing these guys. They weren't meant for you. They likely would have just used you

@ijeomajenniferkorie3934 11 ай бұрын

I'm in my youth and I've had to turn down a good number of men for the same reason of waiting till marriage. Though it appears that if I don't conform I might eventually not settle down as most guys now will laugh at the thought. Nevertheless, I have male friends who honestly hold to the belief, I have female friends too who are in beautiful marriages today and didn't get physical. These and the fact that God is ever faithful to His promises give me assurance that I need not give in just to 'settle down '. May God's perfect will be done for all who love and trust in Him. Amen.

@Kitiwake 11 ай бұрын

If you had had sex then, you would be seriously messed up now. Thank God for your good decision.

@ez-g3090 8 ай бұрын

Ah ha ha ha ha! Now your too old and have lost what men value most in women. Your aged goods now. Buy some cats to keep you company.

@ez-g3090 8 ай бұрын

@@ijeomajenniferkorie3934 well if you wait to long then you'll get too old and men will look past you and over to the young still fertile women while you will remain aged damaged goods.

@Steve-om9rn 2 жыл бұрын

🤣🤣🤣

@Beanie1879 6 ай бұрын

There's no way to measure what is in someone's heart but your own

@marianievessolsona2119 5 ай бұрын

Stop smiling

@trishinbrissy1515 2 жыл бұрын

That wasn't helpful at all

@antoniolen-rios8482 2 жыл бұрын

The most important things in life are never easy.

@MORamalho 2 жыл бұрын

I get what you mean (it MAY look like they're not speaking about it straightforward), but they DO speak of guidelines that ARE the answer to that question. Again, they can't give a 'cake recipe' for every single person. There are people who are weaker in faith but do want to try to follow God's righteousness / There are people who don't even think about sex before marriage as a possible reality... That's why I've found the example of the holding hands so powerful, its not giving you the 'cake recipe' but it's giving you a way to write the recipe yourself, without damaging the 'cake tastiness'. Believe me, if you do want to know the answer to that in a precise way that works for your life, your daily temptations, your daily struggles, keep watching those videos and meditating on them, the theology of the body IS the answer.