I thought being lonely was painful but after being in relationship with a narcissist,being lonely feels like heavenly freedom!

Avoid at all costs. A conversation with a narcissist is like giving them weapons to harm you with.

Never argue with them Never tell your problems or weaknesses

One thing I've noticed especially with the covert narcissist is that they diagnose everyone with some psychological disorder except themselves.

A Narcissist only knows and cares for three things: ME, MYSELF, and I

2 characteristics: it is all about themselves, and they lie constantly.

After 1.5 years of being confused and neglected by the narcissist, I sat down, looked him in the eye and tried to communicate my thoughts to him and he could not sit still. He kept walking around doing things, and trying to change the subject, but I kept bringing the subject right back to him, asking him to sit down and looking him in the eye. I could see he was very restless and uncomfortable, but I finally got him to sit down and listen and we had an effective talk... so I thought, until the next day when he told me I came over to his place making demands. After that statement I was done. That was July 5, and I've been done ever since. I learned that there is absolutely no way to reach them. Their thinking is abnormal and distorted.

Arguing with a narcissist is like walking through a mine field. Its only a matter of time before something blows up. Walk 🚶 away

They don’t listen. Just talk over you...

You forgot one thing, to get their way they will lie, lie, lie and lie.

They tend to be insecure and envious. Best to get away from them,

There's no point in trying to talk to a narcissist. They're nothing but a headache and not worth your time. Always always always go no contact if you want true happiness and peace. Find a new job, make a new family for yourself. That's what I did and the world is blossoming before me now that I no longer have to deal with these headaches. In my situation the narcissist were a couple people in my family. They succeeded in turning the whole family against me. It was hard but I recognized defeat and walked away from my family. I built a new family for myself with friends, met an amazing man from a wonderful family that embraced me as their own, and we have a beautiful baby on the way! I crawled out of hell and if I can do it, anyone can do it. I was so broken for so long before I went into therapy and found the strength to respect myself enough to walk away.

How to deal with a narcissist: RUN

Many people have no idea how dangerous pathological narcissists are, they wreck havoc on peoples lives.

How to speak to a narcissist : Don't. No contact with my Father for over a year has been the best thing I could have done for myself, I am 40 years old.

Asking narcissists to 'walk in your shoes' translates as weakness. They'll go for the verbal kill. They're predators, we're prey.

How to speak to a narcissist? Read a letter over their grave explaining their abuses - it would have the same affect on them as telling them in person. But at least this time you would know why they were ignoring you.

Every. Single. Time. Turns every conversation around to themselves. Lack of empathy is so apparent if you have the unfortunate experience of knowing them well.

My dad is a narcissist. Growing up with someone who lacked any empathy was very difficult, especially during times when I would get bullied at school instead of empathizing with my suffering he would blame it on me. "I bet people don't like you because YOU'RE the one who's an awful person." "It's your fault that person kicked you and called you ugly because you didn't kick them back." The advice in this video is very sound, and has been the only way I can ever communicate with him without feeling like I'm losing my mind.

Having a conversation with a narcissist always ends in the conversation being about themselves ..

Mine is always nice to other people, just mean to me.

They’re liars and always say they’re victims. They’re like zombies with no souls. Serious. They have no feelings but only for themselves.

Narcissistic “personality” is literally how I imagine a demon would behave if it were just released from Hell and manifested itself as human. Even the “way” he teaches you to “deal” with them (looking them confidently in their eyes, not being passive, avoiding their tricks [wtf?], etc.) is exactly how someone would expect to deal with a demon...think about it.🔥👿😆

Unless you have a strong, committed familial tie to the narcissist, the best way to handle them is to completely disassociate yourself from them just as soon as you discover that they are narcissistic. They can be very vengeful, so make this break from them in a subtle, non-confrontational way.

How to speak to a narcissist: DON'T.

You simply avoid them at all costs. Malignant narcissists are extremely dangerous. You can very easily tell once you have been damaged by one - it is nothing you forget.

An older gentleman once told me: " If you want to know what kind of person you're dealing with, whether on a date or a business meeting....watch how they talk to their server in a restaurant, or in any service related industry, in that setting people tend to reveal their 'true selves'"

Also, thank you for recognizing the less sensationalized narcissist. It’s validating to hear about levels of narcissism that are not overwhelmingly abusive or malignant. Over time or being raised by a covert narcissist has very demoralizing affects and the loss of self is hard to recognize because the abuse is not as obvious.

There is no conversation with a narcissist. They dominate everything.

I'm no doctor but my personal experience of these types is that the only empathy they are capable of is self-empathy.

I have several narcissists...family!! My mother, brother and daughter.....dear Lord...I've had to extricate myself from their lives....i miss them but I don't have the stress in my life. ..

I don't know how I managed to live so long having never encountered, or spent enough time to recognize, a narcissist. To those on this thread who have successfully extricated yourselves, bravo. To those still trying, I send you hope and comfort and prayers you will soon be free and happy.

This will work with people with inflated egos, but any conversation you have with a true narcissist will only be used against you later. Refuse to deal with them and delete them from your life, they are broken, dangerous, and not real human beings.

What a trap to love someone dearly and feel empathy for them; when out of the blue, they crush you.

Love your videos! I've realized that you can't even talk to a narcissist because they will turn everything around or lie so you can't even have a conversation with them.

having a conversation with a narcissist is like wrestling with an alligator.

IF they're narcissists, asking them to "put themselves in your position" probably wouldn't work. Narcissists lack empathy and thus tend to say "That's your problem, not mine".

“Their suffering towers above anyone else’s” Word

To those commenters which speak to saying "goodbye" or leaving or getting away from the narcissist, please be mindful that this is not always possible! Its great advice if it works out like that, but not everyone is in a place to escape. Thank you for this video from those of us who aren't quite able to say "goodbye" to our narcissistic affiliations at this time! It is helpful!

I would say the best way to deal with a narcissist is to never talk to them, EVER. Leave them and never go back. End of story.

Mother malignant narc. Father enabler. Brother golden child. I survived. 55 years old and slowly healing. A life wasted.

U can't have a relationship w a narcissist. One of the best moments in my life was when I told my narc sister that I really didn't care what she thought about anything...

1,5k narcissists disliked this video.

once a narcissist always a narcissist they will never change

You can't win a conversation or argument with them and walking on egg shells around them constantly can get very old. That is a codependant trait. I will avoid talking to them at all. Be careful they will pump you for any and all information about you and your life. Twist it and use it against you in a shocking moment of anger. Best to completely pull out of the relationship when possible. Even if it's a family member.

so at the end of the day, a narcissist is like a young spoil brat that is use to getting it's way

I used to describe interaction with my father was like trying to nail jello to a wall. When he started targeting my son I cut contact. Best decision I've made regarding him.

I'm sick of these messed up people who have no ability to love or be loved. I don't have to put up with them, my mother is a sociopath. No contact. They are soulless not human.

Thanks for your video. Individuals with Narcissistic Personality Disorder cannot be fixed. There is nothing to fix. They are a shell with zero inner workings. Everything is surface. There is no empathy nor compassion to be found within these types. They are relentlessly selfish and self-serving. The only effective way to deal with them is to remove yourself completely with zero contact in the future, unless there are extraordinary circumstances, like shared children. Leave your narcissist today and don't look back.

Narcissists are a breed all by themselves. I am done trying. why would one waste their energy on them. I have for 64 years. And I am so done. These are cruel people who take pleasure in ones hurt. No thanks!

I once asked my husband to please put himself in my shoes and try to see where I was coming from. His response blew me away. He said the only shoes he was putting himself into were his own.

I'm dealing with a narcissistic family ! The whole lot of them are cut out from the same cloth. I haven't slept well in months. I'm so stressed for such a long time that I can't think straight. I was a sweet and loving person, sympathizing with people, thinking goodness changes people ... it doesn't Been 3 years nothing changed. Anything I saw is held against me. The "blame shifting" is a constant thing in every conversation. I have a toddler. I can't just walk out. I feel like their toxins are getting to me I'm constantly sad and my mind is fuzzy. I can relate to every word you say. I almost has a mental breakdown because of never getting heard and always every attempt I tried to have a conversation to sort things, was turned around into a blame . You can't simply walkout on your in-laws, can you ! Specially if you have kids. I wish I could disappear. Run away and never come back but my kid might blame me when she grows up.

Thank you Dr. Greg for not endorsing a competition with the narcissist. I have to deal with one every day at work and want effective boundaries without losing empathy myself. The battle, it seems, is to not become like them.

I was almost 40 before I learned how to set boundaries with my mom, these are impossible people to be around.

_"How to speak to a narcissist"_ *Don't.* Fart instead

I’m a narcissistic human BUT very empathetic & self aware of my tendencies as well. I do understand his way of explaining and being that language shapes perception you need a label to explain the characteristics of human tendencies. Being that we are the awareness, once we become self aware of that, the true change & characteristic of the individual will Come if they choose to. “The difference between a social path & someone who’s highly aware, is the intention behind this actions” -Rp

look a narcissist straight in the eye and say, "I hey gotta go, bye".

Hint # 1 They will NEVER say "I WAS WRONG" Only took me 44 years of hearing fake "I'm Sorry" Ask the person "Every believe you were WRONG?" Their Answer "Why?" And "NO!" Then Run for your life ASAP!

I've got a daughter in law whose favorite thing to say is, "what will you do for me?" I've started asking her the same question just to show her the road is a 2 way street.

How about just NOT dealing with them? Being gracious to them means having to be strong as hell all the time. Nothing works. Not one damn thing except total avoidance.

"...don't be defensive, don't be sarcastic..." Yes! I've learned this the hard way from dealing with my narcissistic parent all my life. I'd also add that narcissists don't do well with playful teasing. Most of us, when we feel comfortable with someone, will playfully tease them from time-to-time. It's a show of affection & trust. But in my experience, narcissists don't process playful teasing as such, they take it literally and get upset. If you explain you were just being playful they don't always believe you. Narcissists tend to be on guard, always eager to protect their ego.

Never ask them a question. You give them power when you do.

My mother in law is a narcissist. I have been trying to say things more confidently and being indifferent about my feelings. Before I used to feel victimized now I know the problem is not part of me. This has helped a lot thank you.

I have found that traveling with a narcissist on a trip can be difficult. They seem to want schedules that suit their needs right through from dating needs to tourist attractions

How to speak to a narcissist: "Bye now"

I do not believe they don't know what they're doing because much if not all of it is premeditated and well thought out. Also my brother and both parents are narcissists. 2 overt 1 covert. They don't care how u feel, u can talk till ur blue in the face. They don't care if they destroy ur life, the only one that matters to them is them. No contact is the best method.

"No I didnt" "No it doesn't" "That never happened" "I never said/did that" "Nuh-uh"

How can you ask a narc to "put yourself in my situation"? This is impossible for the narc and exactly what they will ask of you.

A narcissist is incapable of putting himself or herself in your place. Not possible.

I totally agree with this. You need to be confident, firm, direct, don't let them get off the topic, repeat yourself if you have to. They do not do empathy. If you cry beg plead ...you could die in front of them and they wouldn't care...it's like a game you need to cut through the bs. The attention span thing so true to. I've been coming to all these conclusions but having them articulated helps a lot.

It is incredible how many of my neighbors and relatives have just been described here. Trying to have a good conversation is worse than a rectal exam. And afterwards.... the pain from the interaction remains for some time. Thanks for the hints .

I stumbled upon this video and was so glad that I did. I've read through people's comments here and am grieved that there are so many that have given up on narcissistic people. Although, I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND! One of my son's is married to one of these types and it has caused so much pain in the family! This video helped me to see my very own son (not the married son) who is on the brink of adulthood. He can be the sweetest young man in the world, but, honestly, looking back, he was always a narcissist. Had I known more about this before he was even born, I could have changed so much of the way we raised him! I just had no idea that he had this 'disorder'. He is always kind and respectful to the public, but at home and among close friends, he is completely self-centered. I know he loves his parents very much, but he does not have an empathetic thought outside of 5%. This video has given me some ideas, some tools, to perhaps begin to help him before he launches off on his own. If we don't get anywhere, then maybe the US Marine Corps will help. :)

There is no point in talking to a narcissist you will get nowhere

Narcissists can become cruel when they imagine you have slighted them somehow.

I’m not tiptoeing around some narcissistic person- They can kiss my behind-! If they want to be a Queen or King -they better go and find someone who wants to be with them because it’s not me-!

I found this video interesting and on point. Also found the comments on point as well. The 'talking over' in a conversation, always the 'me me me' conversation, changing the subject when we talk, the victim and tantrums, being nice when they feel like they have to, to get their way, lack of empathy. Overall very sad. I always say you can learn so much by listening ...

If you already know what a narcissist is, you can skip to the 4:50 mark.

If you are saying that the sociopath is motivated to be cruel but the narcissist has no interest in doing the same thing, I'd have to disagree. Narcissists live to cause distress and generate supply for themselves that way.

Thank you for the tips. My mother is a narcissist, and dealing with her has always been painful. I’ll have to try some of these suggestions.

Thank you! This is useful and realistic advice for handling narcissistic people for those of us who either don’t have the privilege of going no contact, or opt not to.

"Empathy Deficiency Disorder"......I like that definition, very fitting for narcissists.

Definitely get away from Narcissists... There is no reasoning with them!

Mine does that all the time. Forgets he actually starts it all every time. They make out you literally just walk up to them and start for no reason, when in reality, it's your reaction to what they deliberately started. It's a helpless feeling, because they also twist everything 🌹🌻

The wisdom in these comments is truly amazing This man would do well to copy and use them. This is a priceless compilation of experience and insight. You dear people have described my brother precisely! I am copying ALL of your comments. Thank you commenters, most sincerely. You have all been a blessing to me today. Maranatha!

"Put yourself in my place." "Well, I would never BE in your place" Narcissists know that they are so much better that they are above being in your shoes.

I was in a relationship with a narcissist and it was the best but then worst relationship of my life. my intuition was going crazy everyday. trust your intuition and get out of that relationship as soon as you can.narcissists lie, cheat and manipulate and the list goes on and on. I have been discarded and I'm glad it's over. if you are with a narcissist get out now.

Interesting qualification: a narcissist will not empathise however a sociopath will. The one is blind to the welfare of others whereas the other deliberately abuses it. I've found that the best way to deal with narcissists is to always speak the truth to them no matter how much it hurts them and never protect them from the consequences of their actions -- allow them to suffer them. They'll probably bite at you for doing this but the crushed ego will benefit them.

I have two narcissists in my life, one is a 50 year old uncle who’s still living with his parents and ruining their retirement as well as hurting everyone who tries to visit their grandparents, parents, etc. The other is a sibling who refuses to acknowledge that we as a family have tried our hardest to help and support them as well as give them advice that could save them lots of emotional pain. All this comes from a dark place of hurt and pain. I can empathize with anyone here who also feels hurt and I’m here for you as well.

Why are there so many narcs these days? I am surrounded by narcissist and sociopath person's. It's frightening.

This world is getting more and more narcissistic people and it is pushed by tv,music,facebook,selfies ect

Tears of sadness my daughter in law labeled him a,narcissist I have always known he,was different and extremely difficult I was always trying to figure out,his problem I never knew what was wrong. After listening to you in 100% he is what his wife said a NARCISSIST I never could figure out why I got all the blame i was harsh as a mother an blamed myself but never could undo the past. But I know this is not all me he's got problems. I hurt for him so much I hurt for his little girl I hurt for myself too. Thank you for your input.

By not respecting people feelings and being smug and laughing at people . Is a big sign they are narcissistic . Even if they make a big show of people nice . To impress people to feed their ego . How people treat people tells a lot about them .

But Narcissist do enjoy hurting others....they get their 'Narcissistic Supply' from hurting you.

The best way is not to speak with them. Just run and never look back.

It is so painful to be the * recieving * end of it.

Histrionic personality disorder in the narcissist is so hard to handle. You never feel heard.

So spot on. Thank you. ‘Deficient in empathy.’ It’s like trying to get blood from a stone. :-(

You have described a very MILD case. You have not described a true MALIGNANT narcissist-- Some of the traits of which are: 1. Excessive need for attention- they dominate every conversation and never show interest in anyone else for their own sake. 2. Lack the ability to love others 4. Lack the ability to self-sacrifice 5. Emotionally stunted at the level of a child or adolescent 6. No self-reflection or objectivity 7. Exempt themselves from rules and standards of behavior that apply to others 8. If they do agree to help you or do something for you at all (which is rare unless there is a clear payoff for them), you will pay so dearly, it is a huge NET LOSS for you, and you will have to thank them endlessly 9. They never sincerely apologize 10. They can accept no criticism because their bad behavior is not their fault 11. The only emotions they have are fear, envy, anger, and spite. 12. They seek only satisfaction, vindication, and revenge 13. They classify everyone they know into two groups: those who are FOR me and those who are AGAINST me. They can move people from one list to the other instantly based on their "utility" and "compliance". 14. Other people are treated like objects/tools or characters in a play with a given role to perform FOR the narcissist. 15. The narcissist is skillful at using many tricks and techniques to achieve their goals, including flattery, deception, goading, fake empathy, gaslighting, projection, gossip, pitting people against each other, throwing out false accusations to gather information, demanding loyalty, silence, and keeping secrets, etc. 16. If they sense weakness, they will go for their victim's jugular. 17. They have NO sympathy or empathy and don't think they need to have any. If you tell them you had a rough day, are tired, or have experienced ANY misfortune, they will tell you it is YOUR OWN FAULT. 18. They will mentally file away everything you say to use it against you later. If you are only nice to them, they will imagine something bad you did and tell everyone about it. 19. They secretly delight in others' misfortuns, in wasting other peoples' time, effort, or money, and in causing strife and chaos. 20. When they MUST be good to avoid being punished, ignored, or looking bad to someone they need to impress, it is a major effort that stresses and exhausts them. Fighting, in contrast, energizes them.

My advice to anyone confronting a narcissist , never let them change the subject. Keep bringing them back to the subject at hand. It still may not work but don’t let them steer the issue

You cannot reason with unreasonable! Take a deep breath and let it go!