1. Slow to warm up 2. Low level anxiety 3. Regular emotional states of annoyance, impatience, and frustration 4. Smaller emotional bandwidth than other emotional styles 5. A lack of presence 6. They avoid conflict 7. They need time to decompress and space to themselves 8. They highly value their privacy (not secrecy, i.e. intentionally hiding something you think would upset your partner) 9. "I am defective/there is something wrong with me" core wound, which results in shame and fear of judgement 10. They often enjoy getting lost in other worlds (books, shows, art, etc.). The mind gets needs met in the way that feels the best, which is what's safe. 11. Sensitive to criticism (many DA's have the love language of Words of Affirmation) 12. They do not respond well to intense displays of emotion

Yup. My ex was exactly like this. Never again lol

The first time I dated an avoidant, I thought they were a little autistic was super confused at certain behaviours.

I was in relationship with a DA without knowing they have this attachment style. I learned a lot.

I'm on the DA spectrum, most likely. After a lot of work I've learned to tame the anxiety, but still am prone to irritability over small things. Meditation has helped with presence. I used to have imposter syndrome but got over it. I guess what I'm trying to say is: It's not unwinnable to be a DA, you just have to really look at yourself honestly and work on yourself, and find what motivates you, truly.

Well done. I think DAs tend to struggle with even listening through a description of DA because it sounds to them like a stream of criticism. As an anxious, studying my style is emancipating, even though it is embarrassing (and kinda humorous) at times. At year 38, my DA said, "i dont want to have sex anymore. Well, I think we should separate. Actually,I want a divorce. I'll explain soon." That took 5 minutes. Almost 3 years into a very amicable divorce, an explanation has not yet occurred, nor do I need one.

Just lost my nine year relationship with a DA… I had no idea about attachment styles before the breakup. Now I understand much better why she distanced from me and why even a slightly raised voice came across as yelling at her. I hope it’s not too late to adjust my behaviors.

I love the way you did this in a, factual, dry, respectful way. Good luck with your channel - keep it going!!

Trait #3 is a little-talked-about trait, but explains a lot about my partners micro mood changes that make it difficult for me, someone with an anxious attachment style to find stability. Thank you for sharing such a nuanced information.

Number 9 is a big one for me. I received a lot of shame based programming in childhood, that still haunts me today. Thanks for your presentation.

Thank you, needed this. Your information was clear and to the point. There are moments that keep happening where I hear exactly what I need to understand myself. This was one of them. It’s also validating that the things that cause this attachment style are pretty spot on with my childhood experiences.

Wow, such a clear & concise explanation of this attachment style. I've watched many videos on this topic & this one is epic. Thank you

I got chills watching this as though you have trespassed my mind. Great video, thank you! Now time to figure out what to do with this information

I thought this was just my personality.

A fantastic video; I cannot wait until you go through all the other attachment styles as well!

Very helpful and enlightening. Especially learning words of affirmation is the preferred love language of DAs. Thank you. 🙏

Having recognised it in a partner , how do you handle it?

I was looking to see why I behave the way I do and this described me accurately. Wow

New Sub! Thanks for a great video. After almost 1 year, I have come to learn that I am dating a DA. Now I understand why it has been so difficult...

Thank you so much. I love it when the information I need to hear just presents itself. This was so helpful. Much love from Scotland ♥️🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿♥️

Just now learning about this and it helps a lot I am currently dealing with a DA girlfriend ex girlfriend I have no idea where we stand anymore she's so distant after being so close. Subscribed! Great video

Very informative. Thank you for the upload

Thank you for that explanation Sarah, I might be a representant of this strach. style. Good to know.

Thank you for sharing this, it is helpful!

Thanks! Very informative.

I did find this information helpful. My partner is a DA and I am more anxious, but I have some of these traits myself.

So appreciative, you just described my husband:) We’ve had a few disagreements because we are still learning about each other, how we think, how we process information and emotions. Coming up on our first wedding anniversary💜🎉😊

Great video - pretty sure these traits define me.

Excellent video

Holy wow!!! You described My GF!! All things I can be more careful about.

i’m curious how this compares to anxious attachment and whether some areas even overlap

She’s describing me, fr

Thank you I finally found what I suffer from!

Hi Sara, would you be going a video on how to heal being this attachment style?

I hope you have vids of the other styes on the way

OMG… this is me 100%😱😱😱

This is 100% me

12/12

This is me.