am just tired of this feeling

“If you just try to change their behavior, you’re going to suffer”

I'm jealous of other girls talking to him and I'm jealous of the girls he talked to before we dated and what he said to them

Anyone working on themselves this 2019?

This is quite mind blowing. It's made me not want to change my partners actions and re evaluate my own happiness, disconnect my own self worth from his love.

The older I get the more I realize that jealousy is my own issue and not my partner's. If you truly love someone you cannot believe they will cheat on you all time and that if you truly love them, you must trust them. Easier said than done I know but if they are not giving you any reasons to be jealous, you are the issue.

Watching this with a heavy heart. I hate this feeling😭

When u say "right" its very reassuring lol

What I got from this video was that simply being with someone or in a relationship will not simply just make you happy, it's more about being happy with yourself and having self worth and self respect. Even if someone may say or do some things that make you "suffer" from jealousy or what have you, your feelings of the jealousy or anxiety come from what you truly think and feel of yourself. Doesn't mean that because that person may make you feel a certain way that you have to either stay with them or leave them, it's just about being secure and happy with yourself which you can do either on your own or while you are in a relationship. Life to me is more of a self journey and others are put into your life to help you get to the point where you need to be and sometimes that means being hurt or feeling jealous or insecure, because it helps you to grow and learn about yourself to get one step closer to fulfilling your own happiness within yourself. This is just what I got out of it and I'm not sure if it even makes sense to anyone else, but it makes sense to me and actually makes me feel more at ease with myself because I now realize that my feelings are based mainly on how I see myself as a person, not how someone else may see me.

This sound like a video you need to watch after a breakup. Your argument is valid but it's not helping when dealing with jealousy

I've watched lots of vids on KZfaq about jealousy as I want as many ideas as possible to lose my jealousy and this video is great too....our happiness is not in a material thing (another person) it's in us. I'm happy to just be me and if my partner talks to a prettier funnier girl I'm going to try to just absorb the moment and be like hey it's cool because if he's with me it's because he wants to be and if he goes it's because he wants to go but my happiness doesn't go with him as I'm already happy with me. It's not a direct attack on me if he goes and cheats. Jealousy won't stop him cheating anyway it will just push him away and make me feel shitty so it's a no win feeling. I'm going to try to just be at peace and calm with my inner happiness :) I love you tube videos but you have to be ready yourself to fully work on yourself. Jealousy is not the fault of someone else it's your own problem to overcome, get honest with yourself and you will set yourself free! :) great vid

You've opened my mind. I conclude that we need to love ourselves more than we love our partner. That's how it works. I love your advice. You're very helpful.

Anxiety and insecurities come in relationships. If u truly want that person, and u think they can give u happiness in the long term future, then you can go through those things to stay with the person u love. DO NOT break off something bc u are insecure or anxious. Comfort comes with time, figure yourself out and figure your relationship out.

With me I don't fear them leaving me because it makes me feel less worthy, I know that I am worthy and I know others will love me and I will be to their preference but I want to be loved by the person who I love because I enjoy their company and them being a part of my life. I'm fearful of losing that

2020 goals 😂 anyone with me?

Such a smart man. Big respect for sharing your wisdom.

This is so true. My goodness. I have severe anxiety and it effects even the simplest things because my thoughts go to a bad place.

Ego! It has been ruining the life of man for eons.

When he said "love is not real" i think he meant love is not "concrete".. you can't see nor touch it but it's definitely real. Just my opinion :)

That feeling when you have no reason not to trust them, but every part of you is screaming you cant trust them.

I want my next boyfriend to be just like this guy. So emotionally intelligent and handsome at the same time!

Jealousy in a relationship usually stems from past experiences.

Everytime he said “right” i went 🥺

Noah you really making me want to be single hahaha

Jealousy is part of a relationship, but you need to know your limitations because too much jealousy can affect your relationship and it might make your relationship too complicated.

Is being alone the only way avoiding suffering? Is there a possibility we can stay in a realationship and still remain happy?

God I hate Jealosy... no matter how natural it is to feel jealousy, The more people that know, the more they try to rub it in your face for their own satisfaction....

This has actually helped me dramatically. I no longer wanna change his actions and words but fix my own insecurities, self doubt and stop letting my surroundings ruin my good mood and happiness because OUR happiness matters to me

I really need to re-watch this daily. That and the anger management stuff. Thanks for this channel. I threw a hand grenade at my relationship after all of the anxiety built up over resentment. I really want happiness... And I believe in us... I believe she is strong and has potential to be mature and responsible when enabled. I want to keep her.

This is a very difficult situation to face.... when you really feel that want to stay in a relationship but you're suffering inside.. and the worst thing is that I'm suffering not because of reality but because of my thoughts that directly affect my emotions, my actions and my partner's feelings as well. This a great video to reflect. Thanks a lot!

It's not about my family, my boyfriend or my friends but its all about ME. The whole ME and my relationship to myself. I know I have lots of insecurities and jealousy that I have to work on. And thanks to this video, it makes me understand myself more. This is all about self discovery, self growth and being WHOLE as a person regardless. But it does not mean breaking up or being away from your love ones. :)

I’m here because I love my boyfriend and myself and trying to improve myself. And I’m crazy ho

this guy knows his shit.

This video helped me immensely. Although I am no longer in a relationship, I am still somewhat upset about the break up and was feeling very low, this video was spot on. Thanks again Noah Elkrief.

Why does every guru want to tell people how to stop or eliminatw the prime natural emotions like jealousy, fear and anxiety? It's not possible to eliminate them. Rather accept them for what they are and see if they can even help you.

"If they love you, does that mean you are great, and worthy, and lovable? NO!" lol. I loved this.

I am a victim of superjealous wife. Every single day she blames me for cheating, just because her ex's cheated her. I have never cheated her and it never even crossed my mind. I was very athletic and in good shape before meeting her and won national gold medals in combat sports etc. but some time I started smoking pack of cigarettes per day and stopped the sports, just because I was so depressed about getting blamed for no reason every single day, all than time... So before thinking that you are victim of cheating, make sure that your other half is not victim of your jealousy.

I’m jealous if someone has a better grade than me ,spends more time with someone than me ,has more likes than me ,has more friends than me ,has a better body than me, is prettier than me, goes out more than me, has more attention than me and all that because I’m insecure, jealousy destroys my life and makes it times more difficult just because of some insecures

BUT I DO LOVE ME. Its just, i get anxiety and worry because im putting so much in, and it would suck to say i wasted 5 years on an idiot. Its not that im insecure, or that my happiness depends on them...

Man, seriously. I've seen mentors on youtube, but you man! you're the best. seriously.. you're changing lives here.

I needed vids like that cause I’m so jealous that now I’m getting possessive and ion like that feeling 😭

Well. He convinced me to stay alone

Thank you!

I want peace, happiness, joy, and fulfillment myself.

i think a lot of couples will end their relationship After watching this video hahaha

This really helped me reflect on my actions and my own happiness. You're amazing, thank you!

You just saved me from the anguish I've been in. I can't thank you enough. A weight has been lifted off my shoulders. You're awesome! Thank you.

All these explanations and analogies… the best I’ve ever heard. Most KZfaqrs don’t help like this; they give advice said a billion times by every other dating guru. Words can’t explain how grateful I am to have come across this video. Thank you.

This is the realist stuff I've ever listened too

Noah, I agree with what you have said, but from what I understand Is that one persons love shouldn't mean anything to you. Their love isn't what makes you happy, I agree. Then what is their love? What is love period? Wouldn't love be meaningless if it isn't what makes me happy? Why would I choose a certain person over the other? What makes them so special? Why would anyone choose to be in a relationship if you don't believe the other person to be special? Sincerely, Nick K

Oh my goodness. I needed this so much right now. THANK YOU. You are so well spoken, coming from a person with clinical anxiety in a relationship with a person that I absolutely am head over heels with, but he doesnt quite show his affection the way I do. I need to love myself more.

Totally makes sense , we often forget that the only person responsible for our own happiness is ourselves , and loving ourselves has to come first. Something people including myself often forget in a relationship.

Best video I've ever heard on this subject. Completely Amazing!!!

Just don't care too much and u won't feel jealousy,u welcome

You know Noah, regardless of your content - which is good of course - it is always a pleasure to hear you talking, your presence for me is like watching a relaxing nature video, or listening to rain sound .. it is very relaxing :)

You seem to have a video for every topic except what I'm looking for. I need a how to lose a grudge/how to stop having an intense hatred toward a person.

I cried when im watching it,It reminds my self and our relationship,Thank You for making this video

Me I'm jelouse when ever she goes out and when I'm far from her this one is eating me inside when she talk to any guy

Thank you. That really makes sense. Thank you for pulling me out of this virtual reality.

Thank you, Noah! I decided that 2018 would be the year that I learned to overcome these relationship anxieties but now that I've found you, perhaps I'll reach this goal ahead of schedule. And, just so you know, I'm about to lie down with you. I was so inspired by this video, that I'm about to place my laptop next to my bed and play your videos until I fall asleep. Thanks again.

If i had to get rid of one of my feelings it will be this😭 Cause it hurts for nothing...

It's weird to think that someone you love is not special? the reason you fel in love with someone is because there are special and unique.

I must be honest, half way through this video I getting more jealous and anxious, but by the end I realised that this makes so much sense! I suffer from anxiety, and after a year my relationship is now long distance due to university. I have been struggling to keep jealous thoughts out of my head and keep my anxiety at bay, and by watching this I finally feel at ease. It's difficult when you think your happiness is dependant on one person and only they can make you happy, but really the only person you should hold accountable for you happiness is yourself. Thank you for sharing your discoveries x

Noah has made me think about so many things so differently, he shines a light on aspects that effect so many people but in such a rational and thoughtful way, thankyou Noah X :)

I connect to this on a whole other level...

Thank you for this. I've been struggling with anxiety in relationships forever and I could never find the root of it. What you say rings true and really does nudge that roadblock.

This is very very powerful for those of us having thought that being loved is meaning and happiness - and being scared from loosing it. I just went through a break up, that caught me of guard with no "closure" - and now I see that if I had the chance while being in the relationship to be single and happy and free from suffering, rather than being with her and still having all my insecurities. This is enlightenment that truly changed the way I have been dealing with the breakup and now see that it's about me being happy first and foremost and not about her and she can never make me happy. This is a video that would make sense to watch daily as a reminder. Thanks Noah!

Yes, thank you. I need to hear this. It lessens the importance of my relationship which lessens the anxiety about it. Sure, I want to stay in it but it's not what makes me happy. It gives me pleasure but I don't need a relationship to feel pleasure.

I have a girlfriend and I know she loves me but I get so nervous and jealous and kind of angry at my friends for talking to her and other people flirting with her! Please help me! I know I have a really low self esteem and she constantly tells me why she loves me but my esteem keeps telling me I'm a burden please help! Jealousy and my own view of myself...HELP!!

You are awesome. This was just what I needed to hear today. Thanks for sharing your wisdom.

Thank you Noah. I am experiencing jealousy for the first time in my life, with somebody I'm not even in a love relationship, only friendship. Your video really helped me and inspired me. You're "effing" on point on my emotions.

I've been diagnosed with anxiety and I found your techniques are absolutely amazing thank you so much I've been to therapist that speak complete gibberish and thought that made no sense but our videos make complete sense I'm still to try using your techniques with my relationship but I'm 100% sure it will work thank you so much!!!!!

The best video about this subject !!! Thank you :)

Got it staying alone forever. Thanks.

I'm going through a rough time - and this video totally helped - thank you Noah

Truly powerful, having lost a lot in traumas of life, I am living again and struggle with insecurity, but this will help. THANK YOU

This really really helps me right now!

Oh, man. You made me cry.

Very helpful I've been with this girl for 7 years I'm 21 after I watched this I see that my thoughts have consumed me they no longer do thank you so much

Wanting happiness but confusing it with that (or any) person GIVING you happiness... that's key! Very insightful. Thanks!

This helped me release so much pain from a neglectful, abusive, unloving single parent. I sobbed throughout your video & afterwards at the simple, yet powerful truth behind of all your points. Thank you so much Noah for being my friend today, listening to you & feeling your kindness has helped me find a conclusion to a decade of healing. This has saved my budding relationship with the woman I want to marry. For this, you have my love. I can only hope to repay you in a similarly profound way someday. ✌🏽💙🙏🏽🖖🏽 Maxximilian Alexander

I think in every relationship you would have times when you are not happy, after fights, there would be times of jealousy and what not. but what your saying is that if im in any relationship i wont be happy? because in every relationship things happen, fights happen, and bad things are said. but that doesnt mean that you have to leave the person because of it.

Thank you Noah. I really need this. I am right at this very moment going thru everything that you have said. I am trying to see the light admist all the darkness of jealousy in my relationship and you have showed me the way. Although i will not break with my partner but your video will see me through the hard times that i am going thru right now. I will hold on to your words and see it till the end about the outcome in my relationship but not in a miserable way, as i am now. God Bless.

Many will happily end their relationshits after listening to this video. Wonderful video, by the way!!!!

She said she would even lift an eye on other guys, I walked through the corridor today and saw her with another guy laughing, just the two of them.

I have a question ... i have a boyfriend that i love so much !! I get so jealous when my bf watches films with atractive women in it or when we watches porn , even when he just looks at another girl i get so upset and angry it brings me to tears ... i dont know why i am like this but i cant bear the fact that (even though he dosent say it) he thinks that others are hotter than me because i know he thinks it even though he says he dosent , if i have a bf i think only i shoud attract him not other girls because i actually look at a guy and i honestly dont even think there are atractive at all ... i only find my bf attractive but my brain tells me that he dosent think the same about me , i cant explain how it makes me feel when i think he gets attracted by other he upsets me so much i cry for hours non stop ... what do i do , i wanna be able to trust him and i wanna stop his thoughts about other girls being attractive ... i know its impossible but i get so upset about it 😭😭😭😭

Thank you SO much for posting this. What a wise and wonderful person you are. So many insights in this and moments of clarity. You really helped me this evening. So pleased I have 'found' you and your work. Much respect for posting this. Peace and blessings.

Just wanted to genuinely thank you for making time to make this video explaining jealousy. This is very helpful. Thank you.

So I relate to the worry that my partner will leave me for someone else. I know one my biggest problems with this is that a lot of the time I dont appreciate myself, and feel I have very little self-worth and therefore he will find someone better and leave me. I listened to the "anxiety they will leave you" part, and I dont think it helped... he said about whatever makes you happy in life. But, to be honest... All of my life sucks until I am with that person. Currently our relationship is long distance, when I'm alone at home, I am never truly happy... I get sad VERY often and all my troubles in life hit me like a brick wall. But as soon as I go and stay at his, its like he makes all my troubles seem so insignifcant and I get so happy I cant describe. I've never had friends or family make me feel this way. I have no hobbies that make me truly happy. So... For you (Noah) to say that even if he leaves I can still be happy, that is SO hard to see... Am I too reliant on my relationship? How to do fix my fear that he will leave me for someone else and I will be alone. I dont get jealous, I'm happy for him to hang around with other people, they're amazing people too. But I get MAJOR anxiety when I hear that he's hanging around with a girl that I know is beautiful and smart and funny, not because I want to be her, but because I'm afraid he'll see that she is better than me, and leave me for her. HELP. I feel like most of the answer is basically just saying "if you loose them, dont worry, its not the end of the world" Which I totally agree with... but this doesnt help me to not feel it. I dont want the ralationship to end, and I sure he doesnt either. But how do I stop feeling this way without telling him, if I tell him that I feel this way when he hangs out with girls, he's either going to try and not hang out with girls, or try to avoid telling me when he does. Which is both a horrible thing for me to even think of! I need to deal with it by myself.

I disagree with a lot of this, the part about anxiety and insecurity is true but you can love someone for them, not just as a tool to make you happy.

Thank you for the depth of awareness. It helped uplift me and take personal responsibility for my own jealousy issues!

Thank you so much, have been so stressed in my relationship atm, this has been so helpful.

This is very helpful

Noah! Waaw Ur vids are precious. I like ur unique way of thinking.

I cannot believe how this so much wisdom is coming from this man. You are exactly on point.

I’m in a really dark place rn with my relationship and I’ve been researching all night thank you so much for all this input your video was the last I researched tonight from everything I looked at so far and the BEST by far! Thank you so much!

What if you love yourself but you still get jealous am I just saying this or is there another side

I’m just struggling so much with my boyfriend, it’s pushing him away on house jealous and protective I am, I just get so worried, he talks to my girl mate 24/7 and I can’t see the messages so it really gets me worked up. I’ve had so many boys hurt me and cheat, it’s really effecting me on him. But the thing is it’s pushing me away🤦🏼‍♀️I just seriously wanna trust him but I can’t

I have to say that this is the most impacting and accurate video that I have come across during my search on why exactly my partner gets jealous. Now I have a good idea on what exactly goes on. Thank you Mr. Noah

I just don't know why I became so dramatic... I used to think just like you in this video and now I'm starting to do it again. This has so much logic and sense! Thank you!