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Here’s what we do know about comparison- it contributes to mental health concerns like
eating disorders, low self-esteem, depression, anxiety, social anxiety, body dissatisfaction, jealousy, narcissism, and perfectionism. It can also lead to other problems like overspending to keep up with the Joneses. One study found that when someone in a neighborhood won the lottery, neighbors began making big purchases like expensive cars that they couldn’t afford. When we compare ourselves to others it will always let us down in the long run.
Let’s talk about 3 reasons why comparison lets us down, and then we’ll talk about what to do instead.
Comparison is a brain shortcut, but it’s also a blind spot.
You’re outsourcing your identity- making yourself helpless
Comparison leads to isolation and drama
So, Catch yourself comparing yourself. On a practical level- You could use my worksheet.
Write down the situations where you most often compare yourself to others
Write down you most common comparison thoughts
Remind yourself- Thoughts aren’t reality (let’s challenge that thought)
1. My comparisons are usually false
Selective filtering makes me highlight their good and my bad.
I can’t see the whole person- no one has it all
Get off social media. You think you can see through it, but you can’t. Unfollow toxic accounts. Write and notice the types of accounts that demotivate you- parenting, weight loss, makeup, etc
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Therapy in a Nutshell and the information provided by Emma McAdam are solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health.
In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction.
And deeper than all of that, the Gospel of Jesus Christ orients my personal worldview and sense of security, peace, hope, and love www.churchofjesuschrist.org/c...
If you are in crisis, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ or 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or your local emergency services.
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