How to Stop Your Client Self-Blaming and Take the Pressure Off Their Self Esteem

Рет қаралды 3,129

Күн бұрын

This week’s video deals with helping clients who are mean... to themselves. Over-blaming the self is one common feature of depression and low self esteem so it's important we help some clients moderate this form of psychological self harm.
I don't know about you but as I get older I blame people, including myself, less. I think life teaches you to see a blend of causes in less simplistic terms: "You bad/me good!” (Or vice versa.) I'm not suggesting we should never be judgemental though; sometimes we, or others, are to blame and we can hold ourselves to account.
But even then there are causes that may not be our fault entirely. Is the grumpy insomniac morally inferior for being grouchy or is it really the effects of the chronic under-sleeping? Or other factors too? I can know I am at fault for something specific without feeling like a "terrible person." And there is a great way of learning to do that.
Notes and references can be found on the original article:
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++About Mark Tyrrell++
Psychology is my passion. I've been a psychotherapy trainer since 1998, specializing in brief, solution focused approaches. I now teach uncommon practitioners all over the world via our online courses.
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Video highlights:
00:00 Introduction
00:13 Sometimes you need to use shock to make a point
03:55 3 common depressive thinking biases
07:45 Tips to help people overcome excessive blame
08:00 Tip 1. Get used to generating other reasons for stuff
12:47 Tip 2. Share the blame fairly (and don't think of it as 'blame')
14:19 Tip 3. Examine client assumptions & expectations
17:57 Tip 4. Help your client become less sure of themselves
21:24 Tip 5. Sooth the feelings so the thoughts behave

Пікірлер: 13

@brnsnaribm1371 2 ай бұрын

I have ocd ultimate self guilting pattern of thinking. But ERP and reframing with thoughts like this can help. I have recovered so much but still some self blaming is there. I just don't want to lose all empathy and sympathy, but just the right amount. Toxic self guilt is very common I guess, now, with all the moral virtue signallers in social media.

@beverleycarpenter8481 20 күн бұрын

Great insights. It's almost risky but so helpful. Your positive relationship built over time before exposing your client to the concept of 'snatching all the blame' was imaginative. Thanks.

@butterflymagicwithhottea9291 2 ай бұрын

I am a therapist and truly appreciate your psychoeducation. I also appreciate when you pepper your narratives with a paradoxical approach. Thank you.

@Aphex1471 2 ай бұрын

Greatly insightful video as usual, thank you for sharing your knowledge and experiences 👍

@MonsieurB.-vp3wm 25 күн бұрын

Insightful! Thanks for sharing!

@trudibarraclough478 2 ай бұрын

I loved this. Makes so much sense. I've heard this theory before, but not in such an relateable way. I feel I've often had people in my life who encourage me to self-blame as well. I recognise then early now.

@lucyzee7664 Ай бұрын

This is incredible thank you so much !!!!

@Vanessabeachdreamer2025 2 ай бұрын

“Tyranny IS Tyranny” any way you cut it! …helpful take-away thought

@AG-vp1ok 2 ай бұрын

Mark, thank you for this video! You did another great video on some issues with CBT but I can't find it. Can you please remind me of the title of that video?

@MarkTyrrellUnk 2 ай бұрын

Hi there, you can find all of my CBT technique videos on this playlist - I hope it has what you are looking for :) kzfaq.info/sun/PLoty4kAAb_7G0Wv-uPGzP6cs0Cfe5Nr1q