How to talk to someone who is dying?

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How to talk to someone who is dying?

Рет қаралды 14,522

Күн бұрын

Here are my best practices and helpful offerings for people who are either facing the loss of a loved one OR helping others in this difficult season.

Пікірлер: 40

@gingerty9628 2 ай бұрын

My sister is dying in hospice right now. 2 months ago when i was taking her home from one of her dr appts, i told her "if i have ever done anything that upset you, hurt you, made you angry, i am sorry. I love you". She had the biggest smile and said "theres nothing to forgive. you've never done those things." We've told each other many times we love each other and we've talked many times about Heaven.

@broadcasttttable Жыл бұрын

Well said, and succinct. I wish more YT posters would realize what a service it is to the viewers to get right to the point, when a 15 min. vid could be 5. BTW, you look like a person that's reached a balanced, spiritual center in your own life, and that's no small accomplishment. Kudos and congratulations.

@specialforces101 9 ай бұрын

What a wonderful man and what a wonderful thing to do for other people

@AldoSchmedack Жыл бұрын

I don't care what others think of the video but I think it wonderfully helpful and having lost so many people (dozens) the last few years I can tell you that you are spot on. The whole point is to ease their passing and make them comfortable and not worry about any past issues or future ones or present ones either. (Hold hand) Xyz I am so sorry that you have to deal with all this. I am sorry it is so rough. You have been so kind to me (smile) in my eyes looking back and I just wanted to tell you don't worry about anything that was ever bad between us. I absolutely love you... no I adore you (big smile) and want you to know that I care about you very much. I am not perfect and know that I haven't always been kind and have messed up sometimes and that things may have been rough between us at times but I am sorry and ask for your forgiveness. I want you to know that I am here and love you very much. It's okay when the time does come to be at peace and do not worry about anything. All things work together for those whom God loves. God loves us very much and he especially loves you (big smile), and I can see that. If you need anything or want to talk I am here. (Kiss hand) God bless you my friend. Just an example... I used these words on a dying person once and they went from non responsive with all to super alert and smiling and crying and at peace and I lost them notmlong after that. I never felt so close to them. I even got a final confesion of faith out of them before they passed. I know they are on the other side.

@thekingsdaughter4233 4 ай бұрын

Thank you. It's good to have an example how it could play out.

@gisellesoldati3319 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you Ben for your kind video… I’m getting ready to drive to a care facility to visit my best friend’s momma (whom I love very much), and am at a loss for words because we haven’t been spending time together like we used to (longer distance, work, COVID,etc). I think it has more to do with my own guilt than anything else. I will definitely take your suggestions with me, and get back into volunteering more often. Be well ♥️🙏🏼

@MagsChase1229 Жыл бұрын

Just be you, speak kind words. There will be silence depending on how far along she is. I think she will feel like your visit is an amazing gift. Realize you can do what you can, yet the time is now. You’ll have to figure out when you can visit again. It means everything to your loved one. Once, the person transitions, that is it. It’s hard for the mind to realize it to the core. Weeks after my dad passed, I would walk to my car and have the thought, “I have to visit dad…..whoa…he’s not there, really he’s not there. So I find peace decorating his and my mom’s grave with seasonal flowers, things. At home, my living room light that always worked, suddenly goes out on occasion. I feel my dad is doing this. It has happened at least a dozen times. I truly believe my dad is happy, and enjoying his new life with all his family that went before him. Also, he has helped me with difficult days, and the days turned out so much better . I’m very grateful. ❤

@chewie1355 3 жыл бұрын

I’m going to visit a friend who is in hospice, dying from cancer. Trying to make him and myself comfortable when I visit him.

@benatdesk 2 жыл бұрын

Praying for you. Your presence alone is powerful. Being there and not needing anything from them is such a powerful gift.

@AldoSchmedack Жыл бұрын

@@bboynewsboy991 1 Cor 15 is something to be talked of and how God loves us. Absolutely something to be discused. It can save one eternally.

@AldoSchmedack Жыл бұрын

You are a good person Chewie for trying hard to do the right thing and be supportive. God bless both of you. ❤

@margaretjohnson6259 2 жыл бұрын

thank you. i did those very things though there was nothing really to say to my loved ones when they died because there were no bad feelings. i just told them i loved them and caressed them.

@benatdesk 2 жыл бұрын

Margaret - So sorry for your loss. What a gift to be able to spend a significant moment of our lives here on earth...those final moments simply being able to love them. Powerful!

@t-revstastetube8900 3 жыл бұрын

Thank you I work in a long term care facility and I'm working with a hospice situation right now

@benatdesk 2 жыл бұрын

You have a significant purpose there. Thanks for helping others in this stage of life.

@andrewecom888 3 жыл бұрын

Great video thanks for the tips.

@MarvoldX 3 жыл бұрын

thank you so much, man i cant imagine anytime that I will lose all my family in 1 go, as I didn't even manged to see my father :( man life is harsh

@benatdesk 2 жыл бұрын

Life feels harsh sometimes. I am so sorry for your loss. Even though you were not with your Father when he passed (at least that is what I am understanding here) working through those things verbally or written somewhere is helpful. You can imagine he is with you, he hears you. It is helpful to not carry those regrets as we try to "grieve forward." Thanks for sharing with me.

@AldoSchmedack Жыл бұрын

I am in that boat now too. Losing everyone I know. Lost a few dozen now in several year span. Not got many left. I hate being born late inmparents life and thus super young compared to them all. So many friends in stupid accidents too.😢

@thjbird 3 ай бұрын

Thank you

@millysvibrantcreationsd9842 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you for this

@jamesmcallister9645 Жыл бұрын

Amen.

@Ruckus6112 Жыл бұрын

Thank you!

@bethhenkelman5249 2 ай бұрын

I’m apologize, I love you, please forgive me, thank you.

@Greatlakes-z9s Жыл бұрын

Thank you so much.

@hughjohnson1382 8 ай бұрын

On death and dying was written by Margaret Kobeller Ross (spelling sorry)

@BenSnyderOnline 8 ай бұрын

You are right. Thank you.

@arildthordal810 2 ай бұрын

What do you say to your mother and siblings on your death bed when they are the ones who put you there?

@annar6430 2 жыл бұрын

What do yo say when your husband of 60yrs now ask you to pretend he is not in the house and refuses to eat or speak.?

@jash005 6 ай бұрын

The person I love. And plan my future with him. But today I got to know that he tell me he has hardly one month. Suffering from blood cancer. I am lost right now. Don't know what to do

@BenSnyderOnline 6 ай бұрын

Hi @jash005 - I am so sorry for what you are facing. This is one of the hardest parts about life. Endings. Do you have anyone to talk with about the losses you are personally navigating (the loss of the person you love, your future, your current day to day freedom, etc)

@jash005 6 ай бұрын

@@BenSnyderOnline I talk to my sister and friends they are with me. I am feeling like I have nothing to do with this painful world.. Thanks for your reply

@thekingsdaughter4233 4 ай бұрын

@@jash005how are you doing these days? 💓

@jash005 4 ай бұрын

@@thekingsdaughter4233 I'm doing good in my life because I start to live in the moment and be close to Nature. It was very hard for me but I can do it because of patience but sometime I feel lost and lonely and don't want to live but I know one day I will get out of it. Now I became more kind towards everything around me ❤......thank you so much for asking. We don't know each other but it's feel so good when we connected with humanity 😇

@ThunderBroomPilot Жыл бұрын

1. I'm sorry. 2. I forgive you. 3. I love you. 4. Good bye. I am sure he has some specific relationship in mind and a phase the patient is in. Not sure how useful this is. Personally, I doubt this is useful. He has experience with some people, but he is trying to draw universals from specific, and without really deal with the effect and dynamics. What are you sorry about? To say, I forgive you, is to assert that the patient wronged you. Some advice????? Unless parent or some other person in immediate family, the I love you, is awkward at best. Do you really want to say Good bye???? That is saying you are leaving. Good for airports, trains, and bus stations, but not so sure how it would be received by a patient.

@AldoSchmedack Жыл бұрын

So you think it better to wait for them to die and sit in awkward silence around them dying nit wanting to say anything wrong and let them die then feel guilt forever for not saying you are sorry for things and for them not to worry about anything they did wrong, which is exactly what they WILL be thinking of as they pass. His point is to do it in a gentle way that fits your situation best. These are bullet tslking points, not YOUR specific guide. Helps to interpolate it and maybe rewatch.

@ThunderBroomPilot Жыл бұрын

@@AldoSchmedack This is a super delicate area. I guess much depends on the relationship and past history. My wife's mother died several months ago, and before I thanked her for giving me a wonderful wife who gave me such love and support, and reminded mother-in-law of her visits to us and how much fun they were for all of us. Her reply was thoughtful and very positive. I guess the only guidance is to really think what would be meaningful to that person. Again, this is incredibly sensitive and delicate area. There are no template answers, as it appears to me. Thanks for your comment.